Yes, Life Happens 'IN-BETWEEN'

 

YES, LIFE HAPPENS IN-BETWEEN.  Unless you are rushing from end-to-end, we are encouraged to figure out enjoying even our LIFE IN-BETWEEN.  If I am beating up on schedules and I'll drive out-of-town, I relish the moments every step of the way, literally speaking.  Without risking my driving safety, I would take time to appreciate some NOT-so notable landmarks along the way, even if it's a creek OR a construction still in-progress💜💛💚

SO HOW?  WHAT do we do IN-BETWEENS then?  I'm NOT talking about the cream in between the wafers of an Oreo.  And I'm NOT talking about the commercials in between TV shows.  I'm NOT even talking about the curious ball of lint you find in between MORE important experiences we tend to have everyday.  IF I look back through the years, belatedly, I am realizing NOW that much of our time  may have been spent in seemingly insignificant moments IN-BETWEENs in fact💥💥💥

NOW I am missing something.  Those long-haul Trans-Atlantic flights I am onboard and after all the meals are served, lights would DIM, dimmer than you want.  BUT there I was [of course, I only take the coach [except several times I got upgraded [FOR FREE] to business class], seated in the midst of darkness WHILE my ceiling pin light was the solitary one that keeps me company.  You might wonder WHAT keeps me busy?  It's either I'm browsing on something OR compiling my one-off PLAYLIST which I'll replay for the rest of the flight✅✅✅

Now, let's agree as to WHY embracing the smaller, ordinary moments in our everyday life can make us happier WHATEVER keeps us busy [OR NOT busy] everyday.  I remember in my everyday 'walkaround' lasting for more than an hour everyday [that's roughly 7 km], a few times now, an old man [probably anywhere between 70s to 80s] seemed resting on the sidewalk and he DIDN'T waste time to greet me a good morning WHEN I noticed that he seemed to be recovering from a serious illness [e.g. either a mild OR serious stroke].  YES, I admire him because he seems to relish LIFE IN-BETWEEN😃😃😃

Our takeaway:  We can even go back down memory lane and reminisce our childhood days WHEN life was so 'carefree'.  BUT I do understand that appreciating even little things [like our childhood memory] has become more difficult in a world fixated on achievement and meeting your NEXT career OR business milestone.  We're often encouraged to celebrate our BIG successes and then curate them for social media.  WHICH means that those smaller, simpler moments in our day tend to go unnoticed?  OUCH!@#$%?

JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON

 

Is JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON positive OR negative?  Generally it imparts a positive one because it's like egging people to join you on something that is good enough both for you and the other party.  And it is one of the proven marketing ploys that's been proven to generate positive results in terms of product patronage, revenue OR sales.  BUT there are circumstances WHEN JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON may NOT be the best way to go😌😌😌

Without being cynical OR skeptical, it is verily true that we should NOT JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON by default, accepting it hook, line and sinker.  NOT WHEN an idea is gaining traction.  NOT WHEN a trend is gaining ground.  NOT if and WHEN you see the whole crowd [or even a plurality] is taking one common direction.  NOT WHEN someone plays the role of a 'MESSENGER' to cascade a specific intent OR messaging.  NOT WHEN you could feel that peer pressure brewing up❎❎❎

On the other hand, we're NOT implying that outright, you shoot down someone's encouraging invitation OR ignoring as to why a plurality of the whole group is buying-in on a novel idea OR 'shooting down' the 'messenger' of the message.  Instead, it behooves that we thoroughly assess it, its PROs and CONs, its UPSIDEs and DOWNSIDEs and equally important, one question WHICH only you yourself can answer best enough is this:  WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS IF I DON'T RIDE THE BANDWAGON???

So, WHAT are the tell-tale signs to consider?

• If your PERSONAL CONVICTION seems missing and genuine support seems missing 
• If there's a potential for NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES - Critically evaluate first
• Important decisions like a career change or a major purchase [like properties] should NOT be based on trends [OR social media influence, ouch that's tough to hear]
• And if it goes against your values OR ethics

Our takeaway:  Two succinct words.  THINK CRITICALLY.  SO HOW?  Do your own research.  Reflect on your own needs and align your personal goals [and purpose] to that so called trending thing.  And the bottom-line is, ensure that you will always come up with an INFORMED DECISION.  Mistakes [which sometimes turn out to be major blunders] happen because of 'knee jerk' decisions that were devoid of the essential information to help you before JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON❗❗❗

Your Toughest Nemesis Is Yourself

 

YOUR TOUGHEST NEMESIS IS YOURSELF.  NOT your competitor OR colleague you're jealous of.  NOT that neighborhood bully.  NOT even that tough taskmaster either at work OR at the workplace.  YES dude, you whispered correctly.  Because our toughest nemesis in life is our very own self.  The famous Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh was quoted:  IF YOU HEAR A VOICE WITHIN YOU SAYING "YOU CANNOT PAINT"..... then by all means, PAINT!!!  Ang he quips, THAT VOICE WILL BE SILENCED.  Oh YES, thank goodness he did.  Back into our lives, chances are sometimes, we do get into that sort of 'psychic wrestling match' with that little weak voice in our head that chips away at our confidence💚💛💜

WHAT happens next?  THAT then dials into our SELF-DOUBT.  And our SELF-DOUBT reawakens from its deep slumber, NO THANKS to our own self.  And let us NOT belittle those inner rumblings we have within us because they are so impactful.  LIKE WHAT IF you mess up?  WHAT IF you make a fool of yourself?  WHAT IF people will say this and that?  WHAT IF it will end up that you're just NOT smart enough OR talented enough OR capable enough❎❎❎

Verily true, if we DON'T handle things correctly and deftly enough, our TOUGHEST NEMESIS is our very own self.  Factually, SELF-DOUBT is part and parcel of our human experience.  As it should be anyways.  We DON'T have to look too far to see too little SELF-DOUBT can be outright dangerous, if NOT perilous.  Yet, IF it is left unchecked, the fear that fuels our SELF-DOUBT can drive us to be overly cautious and end up keeping us from taking the very actions which we verily need to do💦💦💦

Out in the workplace, much as the percentage of successful women keeps having that positive trajectory, it still pains me to see a lot more women WHO are as talented and gifted [and many of them are way more gifted than men] and yet, they remain at that place WHERE they are, unrecognized, untapped, undiscovered.  And WHILE society and culture plays a huge role as an influence-shaper, they CAN'T totally run clean and be fault-less here because I did witness many women sell themselves short because they fear they DON'T WHAT it takes to succeed.  Unfortunately, the harsh reality here is that DOUBT SITS TRIUMPHANT WHILE ACTIONS GO UNDONE.  Really frustrating, pitiful at the very least😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  As an analogy here, we DON'T pick up the phone and make the call.  And we DON'T extend that invitation either.  And we DON'T raise our hand for a job promotion.  And we DON'T say 'ENOUGH' and we DON'T push back and say NO OR say YES and move-on, dive-in OR pick up the pen.  Otherwise, we will all be consumed by our own SELF-DOUBT.  Yes dude, let us NOT allow our toughest nemesis to bring us down.  BRING IT ON, dude❗❗❗

Is Your NEXT Move Your BEST Move?

 

Truly, making the NEXT MOVE is a no-brainer.  Everyone will take that one, sometimes effortless.  BUT WHAT makes things interesting [and challenging] is HOW to endeavor making your NEXT MOVE YOUR BEST MOVE.  LIKE the graduating students, all focused to end their academic term with aplomb.  LIKE job market rookie trying to leave his mark with his best interview performance.  LIKE the swooning lothario trying to make his best foot forward as he impresses on wooing his dream girl📗📙📘

SO HOW?  Practical guides I absorbed through the years is for me to get CLEAR and be CLEAR enough on WHO I am, WHAT my value is, and WHAT kind of stuff can you bring on the table.  If we're talking about the job market and workplace, you can add, WHAT kind of environment do you want to work in and maybe WHAT specialization do you want to purpose, if at all you DON'T want to end up as a generalist.  These were my IDIOT'S GUIDE as a novice out there.  Obviously, I am sure of the outcome in life if I did NOT have that IDIOT's GUIDE handy for my reference💧💧💧

So, it is imperative that we buckle down and master certain tracks as we take those NEXT MOVES in life.  HOW often have we seen people WHO get stalled instead of taking that NEXT MOVE?  I witnessed recurring and quite pitiful situations WHERE I felt they wasted precious time [and sometimes momentum because it gets lost and dissipates simply WHEN things get stalled]💥💥💥

Knowing your position and situation is first and foremost the given.  And part of mastering your position is learning to figure out WHERE you need to go, WHAT you need to do and WHEN do you want to make your NEXT MOVE.  In the professional workplace, counsellors do advise us to be strategic enough to catch the stakeholders' attention.  And once you have mastered your role and refined your skills, it's time to put yourself in position to go after your next move.  To do that, you have to understand WHAT your goals are so you can get on the radar of the relevant stakeholders [be it at the workplace OR in business].  Just DON'T MISS your BEST NEXT MOVE😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Here's a sage advice I'd like to cascade down the line.  IF and WHEN you started your SEARCH for your NEXT BEST MOVE, just DON'T settle.  The key thing in making OR taking your NEXT MOVE as your BEST MOVE is to be patient and remember that finding that BEST MOVE is to be crafted with precision [and timing no less].  Otherwise, we will end up with regrettable WHAT IFs.  LIKE WHAT IF I just make a MOVE now, and I'll think later if that is the BEST MOVE?  Blunt rebuttal here is that once you MISSED THE BOAT, you never know that WHEN the NEXT BOAT comes, it may NOT be the BOAT that should be the platform of your NEXT MOVE, dude❗❗❗

The "WORK" That Never Ends

 

Before I get bashed and wacked by the bosses at the workplace, allow me to clarify that this thread is NOT about work [literally] BUT it's the KIND OF WORK THAT NEVER ENDS in our life.  Surely, through the internet, you've either seen OR heard hundreds of videos from strength gurus that shout at us for us to PUSH HARDER, to go BEYOND THE LIMITS.  True, there is a fine line between a sort of toxic masculinity that gained traction lately versus the concept of SELF-IMPROVEMENT and striving for greatness and resilience📗📙📘

YES, I CAN'T agree less that everyone of us needs to push ourselves to be better [this is NOT just about work at the workplace, dude].  The WORK THAT NEVER ENDS is the WORK WE DO ON OUR OWN SELF.  And WHAT better way to approach things by framing our mindset to be BETTER than 99% of everyone else.  Cynics would quickly blurt out THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE [for everyone to be ahead of 99%] else it will be damn crowded up there at the totem pole.  BUT with that 99% mindset, it DOESN'T mean breaking your body OR your mind💚💛💜

You might ask, DO WE REALLY NEED TO CHALLENGE OURSELVES?  True, challenging ourselves is never easy BUT let's look at the possible rewards down the road, it should be worth it, right?  Once we step out of our comfort zone and embrace challenges, we will end up pushing ourselves past our limitations and in the end, expand our horizons.  And the benefits?  It's a mile-long💥💥💥

Topping the benefits is our own personal development.  And WHO DOESN'T want it?  Challenging ourself forces us to grow and develop new skills.  Even as we speak now, I am harnessing the powers of AI by upskilling myself way beyond typing generic ChatGPT searches.  And by continuously pushing ourself, we will be better equipped to handle life's challenges even seize opportunities down the road [striking WHILE THE IRON IS HOT, so to speak]✅✅✅

To quote Michael Jordan, the GOAT [touted as the greatest basketball player of all time], he never ceased to keep pushing himself.  And it's beyond debate that stepping out and beyond our comfort zone is essential for our personal growth.  And a bonus to the long list of benefits will be our improved resilience [we need to remember that adversities will come our way from time to time].  YES dude, we get to give our own BUY-IN because this is THE "WORK" THAT NEVER ENDS😌😌😌

Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?

 

Many times in life, we were always peppered with lessons and reminders to keep moving and with such reminders peppered with threats like sedentary life is the start of your end. Seriously though, Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?  Shifting over to our daily lives, WHILE we can set our intentions for a better future, if and WHEN we DON'T accept our life now and make peace with the present moment just as it is, I am quite NOT so optimistic that struggles might pop-out down the road.  The reality is that for many of us [and I was once one of them], we tend to have those negative 'programming beliefs',  where we tend to live in a way that does NOT align with the life that we want for ourselves and so, we have those physical manifestations of things WHICH we DON'T want.  And the more we feel bad, sad OR mad about it, the more we will feel stuck📗📙📘

Imagine if we keep pressing forward, SPINNING THE WHEELS hoping it moves forward BUT it DOESN'T!  Besides having that pent up feeling of frustration, it does nothing but create that level of resistance that goes against the current momentum of our life, sending muddy waters flying everywhere and messing everything up.  Years back, I vividly remember WHEN my car got stuck in the mud, literally speaking, and despite the endless spinning of the wheel, I tend to resist against it💚💛💜

By wanting to leave so badly to leave WHERE you are and go elsewhere WHEN you are yet to learn the 'LESSONS', we end up creating that level of resistance and cause more suffering for yourself and everyone around you.  And this is where STRESS gets into the equation as STRESS is something that everyone experiences and oftentimes, we STRESS about things that seem to have NO foreseeable solution.  All along, I always [wrongly] thought that behavior was stupid and yet, at some time OR other, we all find ourselves doing that too, SPINNING OUR WHEELS, sometimes minus the noise💥💥💥

SO HOW can we stop SPINNING THE WHEEL?  Here's the thing.  WHEN I asked myself that question many years ago, I ended up confronting myself with another question, to wit:  Am I SPINNING MY WHEEL FOR WHAT?  True, it sounds simple and intuitive BUT identifying WHAT it is that you are upset about is NOT necessarily obvious, so identifying exactly WHAT it is that you are upset about is an important first step.  So, we need to know WHAT upsets us in the first place❗❗❗

Our takeaway: Besides knowing WHAT, we need to know WHY are we indeed SPINNING THE WHEEL, it is equally important because NOT being aware of the WHY aspect, HOW can we move on to the next logical step, which is to disengage from that unacceptable outcome so that it will lead us to a solution in contrast to having to be right OR vindicated.  True, sometimes there is NO immediate solution to a problem.  Sometimes, people just DON'T behave the way we think they should OR are just plain wrong.  And true, sometimes, life ISN'T fair.  And this leads us back to ask to be sharp enough once we realize ourselves SPINNING THE WHEEL😌😌😌

Turning Passion Into Purpose

 

HOW many success stories we heard, people becoming successful BIG TIME but tracing back their humble beginnings, it all started as an interest, a hobby that turned into passion.  Till one day, realization happened that YES, we can turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  Oh YES, I do recall hearing this one-liner as well:  DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU'LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.  And while that is ostensibly true, it grossly minimizes the sheer amount of GRIT, hard work and even determination required to turn one's passion into a viable career.  Blood, sweat and tears are an inevitable part of the entrepreneur's journey.  Trueness, to build your own business, that's a hell lot of work ahead📗📙📘

Let's put it this way.  IF you DON'T really believe in WHAT you're doing, it's pretty hard to justify the effort it will take to succeed.  YES, if we talk to the people behind those zillions of success stories [YES, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates are at the forefront], they can easily write a book and it will still be unfinished business because their pursuits remain in-progress even as we speak now.  For now, though, let's simplify things💥💥💥

BUT from an IDEA stage, there are critically important NEXT STEPS we need to take, which we can succinctly sum up here.  Without a clear vision, a thorough plan and a commitment to follow the path you would lay out for yourself, that DREAM you have in your hands will remain a DREAM just that, trust me.  YES, admittedly, there is NO secret sauce OR magic recipe💚💛💜

SO WHAT?  It's a lot of work ahead if we want to turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  YES, let us give ourselves that time and space to dream BIG, with NO limits, NO judgments.  Do get clear on WHAT you're truly passionate about [and NOT WHAT your peers are doing...... DON'T let peer pressure take over your life.  BTW, not even if that pressure comes from WHAT your family thinks💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Before we dampen all those hopes, be mindful that if you AREN'T doing it for yourself, if your heart really ISN'T in it, you may find yourself in a critical MAKE-IT-OR-BREAK-IT moment doing more breaking than making.  Genuine passion is WHAT will help you find a little more to give even WHEN you think you have nothing left.  It's fuel, and there will be moments throughout your journey WHEN you're going to need it.  YES dude, let's turn your PASSION INTO PURPOSE❗❗❗

Is being SELFLESS versus SELFISH debatable?

 

Is being SELFLESS versus SELFISH debatable?  NO right OR wrong answers here BUT given that emerging recurrence of mix-ups, let's do a lookup to AI who defines SELFISH as being too concerned with one's own needs while SELFLESS means being more concerned with the needs of others.  So, maybe it's worth it to spend today's thread to clear up this kind of a mix-up📘📙📗

So, WHERE do we stand with these two principles?  Maybe, we'll end up somewhere in the 'middle of the road' here?  OR is there a real distinct character trait that we can clearly identify with?  True, generally, we will find that a SELFISH person is keen to be in the limelight and that ultimately they will find NO happiness in constantly pursuing a personal OR even business agenda filled with SELFISHNESS💜💛💚

BUT dude, if we take that path, that seems a very narrow interpretation of things in the light of facets in our life WHERE we seem to have either neglected OR hardly given any attention to.  LIKE investing in yourself, for quality food, for proactive medical checks, for improved mental health, for fitness, for personal development and yes, even for books, even if you settle for e-Books because Amazon is NOT shipping hardbound one to your place😖😖😖

And this brings me to draw a parallelism with regard our health.  ISN'T it our best health will be equally, if NOT more, beneficial to your loved ones?  Obviously, they want you and me to live a life that is long and stretched enough for everyone to live life to the fullest, with everyone with the best health possible.  In that sense, being SELFISH to take care of our health is NOT the twisted SELFISHNESS we would wrongfully think of❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's leave things at that, sweeping under the rug that old school of thought, that twisted definition of being SELFISH because a lot more things in our life today are closely intertwined with people closest to our life [and knock on wood, if 'lightning' does hit anyone of us, that can be as fatal to us as it can be to our loved ones.  SO HOW?  Never think twice to invest in yourself, especially if it is for your health because the benefits get compounded way beyond yourself because you've got your loved ones with you reaping such benefits as well❗❗❗

How Do We Get Better At Something?

Here's a giveaway question:  WHO WANTS TO GET BETTER?  Obviously, everyone wants, right?  So, How Do We Get Better At Something?  The long and short answer here is to keep doing it over and over again.  Over time, your self-confidence will go a long way in boosting yourself WHEN you do perform a specific task.  Just like driving.  You can enroll in 5-star driving schools over and over again BUT DON'T expect to be an outright expert📗📙📘

Problem is, some of us are unaware that WHAT seems prevailing in us is that ALL-OR-NOTHING mindset.  In school when it's time for role-playing or school speech events, someone can blurt 'BUT I'M NOT GOOD SPEAKING UP IN GROUPS' or I'M NOT GOOD AT SPORTS or I'M TERRIBLE AT BUDGETING.  Problem is, sometimes it becomes our lame excuse for our miscues and worse, a shield to keep us EXEMPTED and exonerated for one snafu after another.  Sounds familiar right?  BUT this is a sad plight❎❎❎

My take here is that generally, people hold strong beliefs around WHAT they are and are NOT good at.  Furthermore, in some particular cases, people tend to view themselves through the lens of 'EXTREMES', like they are either all good OR all bad at something, rather than somewhere in the middle.  Psychologists call it as those exaggerated processes which they parlayed in layman's terms as 'THINKING ERRORS'.  Specifically, they refer to that error of seeing things in a 'black OR white' manner rather than in shades of gray💚💛💜

And that's the all OR nothing thinking the experts are highlighting that it influences our core beliefs which we hold about our own abilities BUT also exerts a powerful effect on the explanations we give for how there can be such large differences in people's ability levels.  YES, as that old story goes, some people have got it and some people DON'T.  True, we are born with certain strengths and weaknesses that predispose us toward certain pursuits😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Our life is a bit like going on a treasure hunt where we look for clues on the map that will point us in the right direction [YES, I remember the 'AMAZING RACES' we have had in our management team's teambuilding] WHERE sometimes we do get lost OR stuck in dead ends over and over again, starting to lose that waning hope until suddenly, one of our teammates will uncork something, voila!  This begs an important question.  Is it proven that we keep repeating doing the same thing over and over again, we'll get better at it.  Generally YES so [unless one is quite deceitful even to himself, cheating upon himself].  In a nutshell, nothing fancy, nothing complex here.  If you're facing an 'uphill climb' on something you want to get a mastery, to quote the famous NIKE advert, JUST DO IT, dude❗❗❗

Perils of Solicited Advice

 

This is so mundane and somewhat petty to discuss in our thread.  SO, you might ask, WHY are we covering this today?  Simple.  Families.  Friends.  Trusted parties.  It's quite normal that either party tends to share his/her situation and somehow, one has to retort OR react to it, NOT because we're obliged BUT because it's just normal.  BUT things become unnatural IF and WHEN expectations are NOT aligned.  These are the PERILS OF SOLICITED ADVICE📗📙📘

WHEN someone reaches out to us, YES it is very much normal that we should endeavor to be there for them, actively listening and understand that they're looking for someone WHO will patiently hear them, and better still, guide OR counsel them.  Oooops, for the eager-beaver, before you start blurting out, let that 'sharing' get finished NOT in a hurried fashion.  Remember, WHEN someone is faced with a challenging situation and he/she starts to confide, you might even discern that emotional challenge he/she is going through.  So, sit through the entire conversation, nodding along, and truly empathizing even with the outpouring of emotions💥💥💥

I remember going through the heaviest conversations we can imagine, deep and reflective, sometimes drifting even into that philosophical space.  One thought flows into the next, like a gentle river slipping over boulders, carrying us through their tangled feelings.  Before you know it, there are experiences that would let us feel we're in a journey together, only to realize, in the end, that we were all by ourselves, NOT literally speaking BUT during those moments WHEN you kept listening❎❎❎

WHY?  WHAT IF that person blurting out and pouring it out to you is NOT looking for an advice at all?  Instead, WHAT they want and expect is NO more than VALIDATION.  The only words they want to hear are the ones they want to listen to.  The only thoughts that make sense are the ones they think are right.  It DOESN'T matter WHAT we have to say because there are times WHEN the person 'pouring it out' to you has his/her mind made up long before that conversation began❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let us be sharp and incisive WHEN we get into these situations.  IF and WHEN someone pours it out BUT does NOT want new perspectives, all they want and expect is for someone to agree with them, concur and like singing ALLELUJAH!  And NO matter HOW many times you listen, and HOW many times you speak, it often feels like your time and word simply go unappreciated.  WHY?  Because WHAT they needed and expected is VALIDATION and NOT an advice at all😢😢😢