When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY

When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY!

Ever been in TOPSY-TURVY land?  Yes, been there, done that [and I ain't go back there if I could control it].  WHY?  Because, When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY, we can peruse everywhere to find a FIX but it will be akin to finding for a NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.  What that means, the probability of finding that FIX is very low if not NIL.  But the question is, do we just raise the white flag When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY❓❓❓

Imagine IF/WHEN our home is a total mess, but NOT even half as messy as your life.  Then your partner/spouse ISN'T even talking to you then at the workplace, your work life seems OUT OF CONTROL and then you feel like something is missing💎💎💎

Oh oh oh, we all go through a point in our life when everything are just totally OUT OF CONTROL and the worst thing is that once you reach that point, it will be very extremely hard to know and even decide WHERE to start.  And there's both a GOOD and BAD news.  For the BAD news, things will be damn hard.  And now for the GOOD news.  Things will only get better💊💊💊

So what are our FIXES?  First off, whatever FIX we have, there is NO and there will be NO quick FIXES.  But as a first step, recognize the mess you are in.  It's easy to say that you have to take back CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE but HOW exactly will you gonna pursue that?  And if there is one right answer, most people WON'T deal with this problem for more than a minute.  Truth is, there is NONE.  So, foremost of all, recognize the problem at hand📌📌📌

As a follow-through, figure out what's OUT OF CONTROL and LET GO of it.  At that point, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren't going the way they are supposed to.  It can be the small things like a messy kitchen and the big things like personal relationships NOT working out OR the unpaid bills are just overflowing.  With this total mess, write down each problem and identify those that are way beyond your CONTROL and just pull a stop, dump it out the window because what matters most  unshackle the mess you have WHEN EVERYTHING TURNS TOPSY-TURVY ✅✅✅

Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS

Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS

FEAR itself I admit I'm afraid to manifest it.  Top it up with SADNESS, then Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS will be seriously in question as far as I'm concerned.  But I learned [NOT so early] in life that indeed it is impossible to think clearly once we are overwhelmed with FEAR.  And that time, my high school teacher did teach us a practical way, that is, try taking TIME OFF for us to physically calm down.  It could even be as simple as distracting yourself from that FEAR for 15 minutes by walking within your perimeter area, preparing coffee or even taking a quick shower📗📘📙

Sometimes when getting into 'panic' mode becomes inevitable, BREATHE THROUGH IT, so to speak.  Let's take a real-life example when you start to get a faster heartbeat or your palms are sweating profusely [way beyond what is normal].  And if you are in the middle of a conflict, will you TAKE THE PLUNGE?  No sirrrrrs, DON'T get embroiled into a fight at that very moment.  Yes, you can feel that 'panic' mode which, to borrow the psychology jargon, it TAKES THE FEAR of FEAR away💊💊💊

Simply put, our practical approach is to help our mind get used to coping with PANIC.  On the other hand, experts have screamed in unison NOT  to avoid FEARS because avoiding FEARS only makes them scarier.  Whatever our FEAR is, once we face it, in a natural kind of evolution, it should start to fade [until you would realize that it seemed to have DISSIPATED IN THIN AIR.  An example is that FEAR of taking the elevator [or lift].  Come next day, do take that elevator [or lift] again.  Trust me, that previous FEAR which seemed like a hard rock, would gradually [or sometimes] so swiftly evaporate with little effort you are unconscious to have to have exerted any, if at all✅✅✅

How about painting 'worst case scenarios'?  In the past, there was an endlessly raging debate whether that should be a DO or a DON'T.  In the end, studies have proven that by imagining the worst case scenarios, while it may NOT be possible or just plausible, by painting the 'worst case scenarios', we will realize that eventually FEAR will 'run away'.  WHY?  And HOW?  The curt answer is thar facing things head-on is the best antidote💎💎💎

And how's the equation when SADNESS creeps in?  That should NOT be a concern because, just like typhoons and cyclones, SADNESS too shall pass.  Obviously, one will go through those phases of SADNESS but that too shall pass.  When it's way past behind us and we manage to handle FEAR [instead of FEAR taking over our life], pat yourself because you're on the precipice of handling a 'DOUBLE WAMMY' when FEAR + SADNESS ❗❗❗

STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control

STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control

Worrying stems from our common desire to be in CONTROL.  And we often want to CONTROL our environment within us.  OR we may want to CONTROL over the outcome of practically every situation [which is downright wishful thinking].  And the more we try to CONTROL everything around us, the more anxious we become.  Can we just STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control❓❓❓

Imagine when we are trapped in that VICIOUS CYCLE to break, WORRY [to gain CONTROL], then we FAIL, then we WORRY [again].  Then the whole cycle repeats itself.  Indeed, worrying on things we CAN'T control [like someone's behavior] will drain us of that mental strength where we need to be at our best.  Sadly, this dilemma may also lead to other toxic habits [like ending up to be blaming our own self too much [or worse, even micromanaging other people]].  But we are still fortunate because we DON'T have to resign to end up as a lifelong 'worrywart' ❗❗❗

While there are many self-proclaimed experts more than willing to help extricate us from that VICIOUS CYCLE, I stumbled across two tricks [which we all need to patiently learn and develop].  First off, let's DEVELOP A REALISTIC SENSE of CONTROL.  Let us identify WHAT IS WITHIN OUR CONTROL and WHAT ISN'T.  A simple case is you can CONTROL how eye-catching the webpage you will develop but you can't CONTROL whether people will ever visit your webpage and if they, will they positively rave with regard your webpage.  If you're a manager, you can give your team members the productivity tools BUT you can't force them to be productive❎❎❎

If we are able to strike a healthy balance of CONTROL, we should realize that we can choose our own attitude and even our behavior BUT [again], we CAN'T CONTROL numerous external factors.  So, when we're faced with a problem or experiencing discomfort, let's ask ourselves, "IS THIS A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE?  OR DO I NEED TO CHANGE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS PROBLEM"?  If it is within our CONTROL, go and tackle the problem.  BUT if it's out of our CONTROL,   let us focus on changing our emotional state.  Let's adopt healthy coping skills, like engaging in a hobby or probably practicing meditation📌📌📌

Now, for our REALITY CHECK, let us 'schedule' a time to worry.  WHY?  It's because even experts will admit there isn't a magic trick or a special pill that will make you stop worrying right away.  Psychologists, however, are egging us for that psychological trick and that trick involves SCHEDULING a time to worry.  Sounds ridiculous but studies back up its feasibility.  Let's apportion that 'DOWNTIME' to worry on 'LEGIT' ones because we got to STOP WORRYING ON THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL💎💎💎

Opinions Will Continue To Hound You

Opinions Will Continue To Hound You

Lao Tzu, the respected Chinese Philosopher way back 571 B.C. was widely quoted "CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THEIR PRISONER".  And there's no need to dissect its message because it's right there on the surface. So, Opinions Will Continue To Hound You and NOT to be judgmental, take it either either positively OR otherwise.  BUT brace yourself that predominantly, the OPINIONS will be more slanted to their favor than yours.  And the gross unfairness here lays on the fact that those OPINIONS will remain such unfettered, uninhibited and unrestrained, which when all combined, will place you on a handicap💊💊💊

When someone gives an unsolicited OPINION on you OR about you, do you feel that kind of discomfort rising inside when that someone is imparting their unsolicited OPINION?  NOT just any kind of wisdom but the one that makes you feel small and somewhat slighted?  Truth is, a covert little criticism implying that you might NOT be doing things right💎💎💎

Normally, our first reaction will be utter DISBELIEF, right?  Then DENIAL follows close to the heel.  Then, your ANGER takes over and you tend to shout from the top of your voice [sometimes STILL deep inside you].  Unfortunately, what seemed like shouting was just a thought.  That witty retort you wanted to scream at them?  And that never left your lips📗📙📘

Oh, in the end, as an afterthought, you could be saying that you only disagreed with them in your mind.  And worst of all?  After you leave the scene and mull the incident repeatedly, you begin to think they might be right.  And that's a tragedy, OH OH.  So, what's our FIX for this?  Consider injecting SELF-TRUST.  In the past, I used to believe that other people's bad OPINIONS of me DIDN'T affect me at all, so I was shocked then to discover that they literally paralyzed me and stymied my progress.  And since other people DON'T LIVE YOUR LIFE, you can only live it for yourself❗❗❗

Next off, similar to the immunizations we had during the Covid Pandemic, get 'IMMUNIZED AGAINST OPINIONS'.  So HOW?  Unravel the ball.  Like a wool of yarn, the kind of reactions you learn and display to each situation you encounter get layered and imprinted in your mind over time.  Look beyond the obvious issues to get to the very root and core of it.  Thereafter, KNOW THYSELF.  Figure out what you're good at by confirming your real strengths.  Still NOT enough?  RESET YOUR REALITY.  Thoughts become disturbing when you take them too seriously.  These are your countermoves because Opinions Will Continue To Hound You✅✅✅

Forgiveness Will LIKELY Lead Us To PEACE

Forgiveness Will LIKELY Lead Us To PEACE

Everyone would love and savor these moments when we can be just strumming the guitar to our own beat because moments like that can be translated into a five-letter word spelled P-E-A-C-E but achieving it is easier written in blogs.  Achieving the real, genuine and lasting PEACE may need us to summon the courage to extend Forgiveness as it will LIKELY Lead Us To PEACE💎💎💎

Experts have proclaimed, in unison, that FORGIVENESS could be the greatest gift we can give to our own self.  And their studies have proven that FORGIVENESS releases toxic thoughts of anger, resentment, shame, bitterness, grief, guilt, regret and hate.  WHEN someone wrongs us somehow, we might feel certain that we'll NEVER be able to get over it💊💊💊

I can share this openly.  In the past, even my immediate anger simmers down, I tend to continue dwelling on that difficult moment instead of letting it fade into memory.  That act of FORGIVING, on the other hand, can be such a powerful tool to our well-being.  When we FORGIVE someone, we choose to GIVE UP our NEGATIVE feelings regardless if that person deserves it or not✅✅✅

Further studies show that FORGIVENESS is associated with improved physical and mental health BUT let's admit it, it's NEVER easy because only our innate capacity for FORGIVENESS offers hope that it is indeed possible.  And indeed it is incredible to hear people FORGIVE.  To quote the experts, FORGIVENESS is our medicine for our body, mind and spirit [and it does NOT require any doctor's prescription]📗📘📙

So, WHY should we really FORGIVE?  Not to scare but evidence [from studies] is mounting that holding onto painful memories and bitterness will VERY LIKELY result in long-term health problems.  Run a random check across all cultures, those folks in their 80s and 90s as regards their recipe for a longer life, they will sum it all in that five-letter P-E-A-C-E as forgiveness will LIKELY Lead Us To PEACE📌📌📌

How To Keep Going In TOUGH TIMES

How To Keep Going In TOUGH TIMES

Remember those times we were on a steep uphill climb in life?  Surely, everyone went through their respective TOUGH TIMES in life.  Problem is, that is part and parcel of our life and there's NO way to ever shield or exempt us from those episodes.  What we need to face head-on is How To Keep Going In TOUGH TIMES📗📙📘

The harsh reality we continue to face is that our world itself has been lurching from one crisis to another.  After that global pandemic, which did cause dramatic changes how to conduct our daily lives, economic uncertainty has creeped in [WHO has not heard of escalating inflations in almost all countries?]. Even social and political turmoil were NOT left behind.  Then we factor in the personal traumas people also need to deal with.  Declining health, unemployment, separation/divorce or worse, even violence and accidents around💎💎💎

So indeed there is just NO WAY for us to avoid sorrow, adversity or distress in life.  BUT here's something to soften things up, HOW TO KEEP GOING IN TOUGH TIMES.  The least we can do [within our limitations] is to 'smoothen the rough waters' because it is imperative that we REGAIN CONTROL of the situation at hand.  Easier said than done but we need to better adapt to unexpected life-changing events 💊💊💊

The more difficult part is for us NOT to tag our inadequacies as a CHARACTER FLAW when sometimes we're more sensitive to emotional distress and are finding it difficult to cope with hardship OR adversity.  Our favorite character-building trait to be nourished is RESILIENCE.  It is NOT such a 'macho thing' to build RESILIENCE because that is an ongoing process that requires quite an effort to build and maintain📌📌📌

While it is often difficult to imagine anything good coming out of traumatic experiences, building RESILIENCE can help us find any [and sometimes the remaining] POSITIVES in the most difficult moments we would face.  Think of a life where the gloomy clouded skies will deter us and dampen our spirits to carry on our pursuits.  While it's NO CAKEWALK, HOW TO KEEP GOING IN TOUGH TIMES is no rocket science✅✅✅

Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire

Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire

You and me will agree that being in that frying pan alone will be an ordeal because we could end up TOAST.  But can we agree farther that Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire will be the 'mother of all ordeals'?  Even the multiplier effect of the intensity of that 'HEAT' where we get directly exposed is already unfathomable.  Let's simplify things.  What if you were fighting gangs all by yourself but it was a 'cat and mouse' tiff as you were smart enough even when ON THE RUN.  Not until you would realize that being on the frying pan is not the end because Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire💎💎💎

Looking back, I've been into the frying pan countless times in the past.  And for me to downplay those ordeals will make me a sheer hypocrite because the SURVIVAL RATE is considerably on the low given that during those situations, all the CARDS ARE STACKED against you.  And as you slip and slip down the line, your remaining hopes continue to flicker and dwindle until you up with a single coin where you will end up with just two options, of flipping that solitary coin.  Unfortunately, there is a fair chance that HEADS YOU LOSE and TAIL YOU [still] LOSE📗📙📘

Comparing things apples to apples, having a tiff or even a heated fight within your family makes you [STILL] better off versus a worst case scenario when and where either family member has already WALKED AWAY [and probably having BURNED THE BRIDGES] by then.  At that point, that becomes analogous to Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire📌📌📌

You might get back at me and ask, HAVE I BEEN Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire?  Nein. Nada.  Het.  Tidak.  Otherwise, I won't be right here on my laptop, spending a luxury of my personal 'off time' for my deep-seated passion to blog and write.  In case you want to push me farther and throw a hypothetical question WHAT IF I was Thrown Into The Fire?  Good grief.  IF I may play my 'Nostradamus' card, I'll sadly admit I'm non-existential IF that I ever ended up that path💊💊💊

All is NOT lost though once you end up Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire.  So how?  RUN RUN RUN for your life.  This is NOT the end-of-the line for you but the insight we're picking up today is, summon anything and everything within yourself and will yourself out because Being Thrown Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire💎💎💎

Choose Your Battles

Choose Your Battles

Hey Hey Hey, if we are fully armed, can we just go out there, pick on anyone and expect to remain unbruised and end up as the last man standing?  No sirrrrrs.  Even history tells us that the generals from way way back.  Napoleon, the great French general who was heavily bemedalled and decorated with so many battles won found his ill-fated invasion of Russia as the final nail on his coffin as the sheer size and climate of Russia decimated Napoleon's forces.  If only he heard that we got to  Choose Your Battles💎💎💎

Knowing what battles to fight [or which ones you should either avoid or leave behind, or worst, even walk away in the middle of the skirmish] remains the most critical to success.  If and when we find ourself fighting too many battles [on too many fronts], trust me, you and me will end up heavily drained whether emotionally, mentally or even physically.  What then worsens things is that the quality of life and even our performance whether at work or in our business will be impacted.  Who says fighting too many battles will NOT take its toll on us❓❓❓

So HOW do we CHOOSE OUR BATTLES?  Thinking that you have to fight a battle that actually belongs to someone else is a very easy mistake to make.  Sometimes we do get involved in another person's battle without even meaning to.  Alternatively, we might be the kind of person who likes to 'stick it up' on behalf your timid colleagues.  If at all, RESIST falling into that trap💊💊💊

Then, down the line, let's ask ourselves, WHAT DIFFERENCE WILL WINNING THIS BATTLE MAKE IN OUR LONG TERM? To answer that question, step back and look at the BIG PICTURE because that might mean your strategy.  OR your relationship with your boss at work.  OR might mean the direction of your career [which you DON'T want to get derailed].  When you consider all the possible outcomes, assess how will they affect the BIG PICTURE❎❎❎

Then flip the coin and ask yourself, WHAT IF YOU LOSE that battle?  This is the way to go, assess things both ways.  An evaluation of the downsides is NOT a reason to avoid going to that battle BUT instead weighing the downsides against the upsides in a clear-headed fashion will help us down the road to identify if IS IT REALLY WORTH FIGHTING THAT BATTLE?  Then if you DON'T fight that battle, will you ever live with yourself afterwards?  Point is, whichever tack you take, you should NOT be remorseful or regretful at all in the future. Do Choose Your Battles in life📗📘📙

No Perfect Time BUT Now

No Perfect Time BUT Now

Everything AS IN everything starts with an IDEA.  From that time that seed of an IDEA pops-up, that's when each of us will be plotting our own respective paths.  NO common tracks for all.  NO super highways for us to cruise akin to the F1 races.  NO flight plans similar to those supersonic plans. IDEAs will then take their own ways to germinate.  So when is the perfect time for that IDEA?  No Perfect Time BUT Now

Surely, each of us went through those episodes in our life where we thought we should NOT be trigger-happy, where we expected that waiting will lead us to that PERFECT TIME, where we were made to believe that the probability of success conversely increases with the actual time elapsed, where we were blinded by our incorrect choices of role models who led us to that ill-advised move of NOT moving, NOT taking action, NOT lifting our finger, NOT starting off what needs to be started, NOT kickstarting things, NOT igniting the engine so we can shift its gear to a full throttle.  Unfortunately, we all ended up on that wrong path in each of our past, even at least as an outlier❗❗❗

Oh, this is an unfortunate REFRAIN we keep hearing over and over again and sadly, sometimes, it is ME, YOU or US blurting out those 'NOT READY YET' pull-ups simply because we felt quite good enough cloistered in our respective comfort zones and WRONGLY thinking that the PERFECT TIME will eventually come to unfold.  Instead, we WRONGLY thought that all we need to do is/was to stretch our patience thinly because many of us were framed by that mindset that eventually, things will ripen, things will mature before our SUCCESS will come into fruition❎❎❎

Yes folks, this is the blunt question we should confront ourselves IF and WHEN we end up in that predicament.  IF NOT NOW, WHEN? The pitfall here most of us suffered in the past is that we [wrongly] thought it's always a proven formula for success if we let things evolve and take its own course because pushing hard will doom us to fail💎💎💎

BUT hey hey hey, while you are buying time and simply twiddling your fingers and getting fidgety, WHAT IS IN IT FOR YOU?  Very sadly, I did bear witness to numerous dismal failures of people whom I know either closely or first hand.  And if they have a commonality at all, they all FAILED because they kept buying TIME and waiting for TIME to ripened.  DON'T look far but that dreaded pandemic was cataclysmic because the first batch of fatalities and failures were those who were 'caught with their pants down', those who were waiting for the PERFECT TIME,  But hey dude, let's spread this out as a gospel truth, that there is NO PERFECT TIME BUT NOW, c'mon📌📌📌

Wife Knows Best

Wife Knows Best

Stumbled across the Quora.com post by Rebecca on 08.25.2023, to quote:  JIM HAD AN AWFUL DAY FISHING ON THE LAKE, NOT CATCHING EVEN ONE.  ON HIS WAY HOME, HE STOPPED BY THE SUPERMARKET AND ORDERED FOUR CATFISH AND TOLD THE FISH SALESMAN:  PICK FOUR LARGE ONES AND THROW THEM AT ME.  THE SALESMAN ASKED, WHY SHOULD I THROW IT TO YOU?  BECAUSE I WANT TO TELL MY WIFE I CAUGHT THEM.  THE SALESMAN SAID, OH OK BUT... I SUGGEST YOU TAKE THE ORANGE TROUT.  WHY?  BECAUSE YOUR WIFE CAME IN EARLIER TODAY AND SAID THAT IF YOU CAME BY, I SHOULD TELL YOU TO TAKE ORANGE TROUT.  THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS FOR SUPPER.  Oh Oh Oh...... Wife Knows Best⏳⏳⏳

So, do we agree on that Wife Knows Best? Me thinks, NOT just conditionally YES but absolutely YES.  But of course, right?  When you spend your non-work and non-business life with your spouse/partner, it is a given that everything, lock, stock and barrel will be mutual and common for couples.  BUT heard of couples who purportedly endured and lived together for many decades but in reality, living their OWN SEPARATE LIVES❓❓❓

I remember when I resided in India for almost a year, living and breathing like a typical Indian.  And getting privy even with sneak previews of their private lives, like one of my male colleagues in my project had a prospective bride.  And the bride's family reserved a hotel function room for the formal 'meet up' between the two families.  Lo and behold, the prospective bride's credentials was presented by her family, like a convent-bred, legitimate scion from the middle class, graduating from a top notch university.  Being very new and unfamiliar [at that time] to the Indian culture, that was an 'eye opening' experience for me then❗❗❗

Fast forwarding today, how come we still here HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE? BUT to correct the off-track and unfair interpretation of this favorite one-liner, it will be the worst disservice to all wives if this meant that wives are material-centric?  NO sirrrrrrs. On the contrary, if a wife leads a HAPPY LIFE, that kind of positively reflects back to the fact that Wife Knows Best is more telling because it [very likely] implies that we have a wife at hand a wife who Knows Best in its totality📌📌📌

So, you might get back to me and question me why I seem to be beating around the bush.  So how can we all align so that Wife Knows Best?  As heard quite a thousand times, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.  No single superman OR superwoman can carry the weight in your married life.  Instead, consistently calibrate so that Wife Knows Best✅✅✅