Practice and NOT Instincts

Practice and NOT Instincts

I guess everyone agrees with the old adage which says 'PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT' but behind that is this rationale 'Practice and NOT Instincts'.  this darts board should not be new to everyone.  We've seen darts ending up thwarted all over the place except on the bullseye.  So, what's the most exploited pitch here ?  It's PRACTICE PRACTICE and PRACTICE

But why is Practice and NOT Instincts a hrd sell ?  Simple.  Many of us [including me in the past] are simply damn stubborn.  Many of us simply refuse to heed the advice of PRACTICE PRACTICE and PRACTICE.  Why ?  Because, all along, they always believe that what matters is INSTINCTs and nothing more than that.  And that's where the huge disconnect comes into form [left for us to drill and dice].

Over to our toddlers, have they heard them insist that they all have the INSTINCTS and therefore won't need for PRACTICE ?  It's never challenging to see our toddlers PRACTICE and PRACTICE and yet, why do we need to squeeze people hard and dry?  Hmmm, it's all because of the fallacy that we don't need PRACTICE because our INSTINCTS will take care of the rest.

If you're a student, PRACTICE should not be a hard sell.  If you're a worker, PRACTICE should be a given.  Else, how can you improve your competencies ?  If you're into a relationship, you need to find your flaws and your lapses.  From there, PRACTICE to rectify your shortfalls.

What happens if you remain stubborn and a tough nut to crack ?  Expect to commit the same foul-ups over and over again.  Expect to fall into those trenches again and again.  DON'T expect your travails at work to dissipate but instead expect things to go from bad to worse.  DON'T expect your business challenges to evaporate in thin air because you remain intransigent and as stubborn ever.  The collateral damage that will inflict more damage and impact to your life will be those scenarios where your relationships go through rough patches that will never smoothen unless you wake up and realize that you end up in a topsy-turvy world in despair and very much beyond repair ❓❓❓

Are You the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?

Are You the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?

Do you recall being the 'LAST MAN STANDING' ?  Probably for some of us, we could hardly discern those situations when we seemed to be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'. And by the way, there are zillion scenarios where you could be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.  In a bit, let me convince you why it pays for us to be aware if we're the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.

Let me share various real life  'LAST MAN STANDING' scenarios so we can all relate to this.  If you're a student in school and the professor throws a question and no one happens to volunteer.  Will you take the cudgels to be the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and volunteer ?  At work when your client sends you a request for help that is OUT-of-SCOPE.  Will you just shrug off your shoulders ?  Or will you go out of your way to explore measures where you can still give that VALUE-ADD to your client ?

 Currently, I'm in 5th session of an academy training I'm taking [after my work shift ends] which training will culminate by end-FEB 2022 and in our last session last Friday, after our breakout sessions ended, our resource [of a US$ 9bn US technology player with annual revenues close to US$5bn] called out our group number to present in the sales presentation.  Alas, there was eerie silence and before we trigger the ire of our resource, I thought I was the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and volunteered.  Why did I volunteer ?  Good question.  It's because I take that as an OPPORTUNITY for me to grab !

                             

Hmmmm, well in life, we are akin to those dominoes.   Before the game starts, dominoes are all upright but after rounds of skirmishes, there could be that solitary domino that could be the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.  So, let's look at the upside of things.  By volunteering, by taking the step forward to take the challenge, what are you up to ?  If you're one not to cower in fear of challenges, then opportunities like this should be 'music to your ears'.

Here's some breaking news.  Awhile go,I heard the voice of the street-vending tofu vendor so I rushed out to buy his tofu stuff and unknown to him, I was 'sizing' his situation so I asked as to why the past week I would hear his voice close to noontime when throughout the past years, before 9am, i'll hear his voice outside our gate.  

He admitted he had an appointment with an Indian loan shark so he can buy a bicycle with a side-car so he does not need to walk several kilometers with more than 20kg on his shoulders everyday.  Without letting the cat out of the bag, I gave him my mobile phone number and advised him to send me an SMS message once he reaches home.  Not know to him yet, my wife and myself have already decided to finance and buy for him that bicycle alongside the side-car so that his daily selling will be tremendously less difficult instead of walking many kilometers under the heat of the sun carrying more than 20kg of weight on both his shoulders.  Why did my wife and myself decide to give this life-hardened vendor some one-off financial relief ?  It's because we felt we were the 'LAST MAN STANDING' and this was an OPPORTUNITY to MAKE A DIFFERENCE❗❗❗

Veering Away from the RULE BOOK

Veering Away from the RULE BOOK

Rules are rules, period.  And when someone starts VEERING AWAY from the RULE BOOK, what happens next ?  Frankly, sometimes, it's all our fault, mea culpa and not someone else's.  Lots of problems we get caught up with in life are our own undoing.  BTW, mistakes are mistakes and that's fine but what's unfathomable is when we start VEERING AWAY from the RULE BOOK because that's when we seem to be the architect and brains behind the monster, the Frankenstein we seem to have built.  In brief, if we dutifully follow the RULE BOOK in life, as long as we don't go astray, one foot of ours is already a cinch to succeed.

Anyone not been yet to a camp-put or bonfire?  When we're into activities, isn't there a RULE BOOK to follow ?  And if anyone goes astray from the RULE BOOK, what else to expect but untold, unexpected outcomes which even the RULE BOOK cannot anticipate.  And obviously, we should expect the unexpected when things don't go by the RULE BOOK in our life.

Fact is, there are norms that are part of the givens.  And when you veer away from it, when you deviate from the norm, do we expect results to be within what is deemed normal ? If you're a student and you get that 'notorious' image of a deviant, do you think you will bag the school's top DEPORTMENT award ?  At work, if you seem to be that maverick guy deviating away from the RULE BOOK from time to time, what do you expect, how far will you go in your journey towards success ? And in your relationships with your loved ones, if you keep deviating from the RULE BOOK, how stable should your relationship will be ?

Simply put, even for the less ambitious, surviving life is not a steep mountain to climb as long as you follow the signages plastered all over the place.  Even detours and emergency exits are all clearly marked so it becomes perplexing when along the way, we sometimes get lost and end up in another dirt road that veers away from our path.  Stick to signages, you'll be good.

So, life is not that complex after all as long as you stick to the RULES, literally because there's no alternative to it.  Try VEERING AWAY FROM THE RULE BOOK, you may end up in a dirt road or worst, knock on wood, figuratlvely speaking, you will end up thrown or fallen in a deep ravine where survival just becomes an afterthought.  LESSON:  let's NOT VEER AWAY from the RULE BOOK of life❗❗❗

Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS'

Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS'

Fruits abound.  Fruits are everywhere.  Where the difference lies.  Some fruits typically way beyond our reach.  Some are way too high you need to use that extended bamboo pole.  Some are way up unreachable to the extent that the only way is for someone to patiently climb up traversing the intertwined branches.  So, if this is our life with one too many fruits up there, Can We Prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ?  But too bad, sometimes, we are too overwhelmed with one too many fruits, ending up wasting to pick it up.

So, might ask, why do we need to prioritize the 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ?  It's simple. Angling for those 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' will need the least efforts and/or least resources to reap it, to acquire it, to get hold of it.  Now, if this is a no-brainer, what explains why many of us still miss out these 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' ? It's because our attention gets seized by other fruits.  

Why do we get lured then to reach out for fruits which are NOT 'low hanging' ?  INFLUENCE is one.  Our decision gets influenced by others.  We get lured with other fruits even if it will entail much more effort from us.  Another factor is the allure of the quantified outcome of a fruit.  We tend to be lured by MAJOR prizes and we tend to shun away from MINOR prizes.  C'mon, we're not a part of the ilk of those Vegas strip high-stakes players.  Let's be grounded please.

Setting goals and delivering against them is the key to all these.  Making your goals SPECIFIC is the correct first step.  Unless you have a crystal clear vision of what you want to achieve, you may end up wondering around.  WEIGHING the benefits of reaping a LOW HANGING FRUIT versus a pricey fruit that's high up there is the best scaler to guide you reach an informed decision  In life, have you heard someone advising you to AIM LOW ??? No way, Jose.  Instead, you would hear people egging you to AIM HIGH !!!!

Yesssss, eventually, who does not want to reach and achieve his pinnacle of success ?  But time and again, the sage advice to us is to have that mindset and discipline of being REALISTIC in whatever endeavor you undertake.  And if the allure of the biggest ticket items doesn't stop you from reaching out, that is fine but always remind ourselves that hey, there are 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' around.  Why can't I reap all these 'LOW HANGING FRUITS' till I get the breaks for the biggest plum✅✅✅

That Cloud of Doubt

That Cloud of Doubt

Many outcomes and results in life are shaped up and influenced by either our DOING or our UNDOING.  When you execute your plan down to a 'T', likely you will end up with positive results whereas if commit a faux pas, what else do you expect with the outcome?  Unfortunately, there are outcomes that are shaped neither by our DOING or UNDOING but rather because of That Cloud of Doubt.  Quite difficult to fathom why that sheer Cloud of Doubt will do influence outcomes, but it does many times over.

If you're a student in school and here's your teacher calculating your grades and at that point, your weighted average could either make it or miss the honor rolls and here's your teacher suddenly thinking if your grades need a slight push or rounding for you to garner honors roll ? Then a Cloud of Doubt about you creeps   Guess what's the end result ?  At work, here you are, your performance is marginally good and your boss starts considering to push you for promotion till that Cloud of Doubt creeps.

In our relationships with our loved ones, on the periphery, everything could show a veneer of calm and stability.  But sometimes, not visible to us, there could be rumblings underneath and whether it dies a 'natural death' OR things might worsen when that Cloud of Doubt will creep.  If you're running a business, you will be more vulnerable to that Cloud of Doubt in the face of your discerning customers.

Truth of the matter, a Cloud of Doubt may not even be worth spending even a minute of thinking if there is that FAITH to be believe in you, in us.  What's our lesson here ?  Exert all efforts in good faith and if you have to 'move mountains', so be it.  Bottom-line is, there should be nary a Cloud of Doubt.  Problem is, our very UNDOING here is that either we easily shrug off our shoulders and hardly give any value or importance to a Cloud of Doubt or we thought that any Cloud of Doubt is not worth our attention or more so, our corresponding action.  Worst, we hardly see a gathering storm coming.

One last point, erasing and obliterating that Cloud of Doubt starts with you, with us.  That self-doubt ?  That's self-inflicting and that's the last thing that should ever happen because for you to weather any challenge on  any a Cloud of Doubt of you, you got to 'clean up your house first', put things in order by throwing away your own self-doubt.  How ?  You got to believe in yourself before even obliterating that Cloud of Doubt from others❗❗❗

Don't Rock the Boat

Don't Rock the Boat

In our lifetime, we're all riding our boat of life, like it or not.  It's via that boat that we would embark on our respective journey towards our ultimate destination.  And definitely, out there in the high seas, we could get into rough waters and at worst, there could be twisters or typhoons along the way.  But for the most part of our journey, the waters are generally calm.  Yet, why do some boats may seem to be tilting and that's fine as long as we Don't Rock the Boat.  The objective has always been to ensure that the boat stabilizes as long and as far as possible.  Avoid unnecessary moves on board to Rock the Boat.  That's just unnecessary.

In life, how often do we trigger or cause unnecessary moves and actions that end up destabilizing our life ?  From my end, I admit I did cause those unnecessary things quite a few times in the past [and I regret it].  But by the time you regret, the harm has been done, the damaged could have been done.  Unfortunately in our lives, the "UNDO" function has not been enabled yet.

Yet, when we sail through placid waters, everything seems stable, right ?  And that adds the allure to our travel because the boat never gets ROCKED.  In life, whether in school, at work, in business or even in our relationships, we don't want things to be ROCKED, right ?  Because when bad turns to worst, that rocking may even end up tragically, fatally.

How should we not ROCK the BOAT then ?  Sharing here some basic no-brainers.  Topping it is COMMUNICATIONS.  Be cautious with your words.  Often times, we don't mean what we say.  And sometimes, it's not because of the words itself but it's how we expressed thpse words.  How many workers ended up BURNING BRIDGES at work ?  How many businesses went bankrupt because the business partners parted ways all because of words? And how about the failed relationships? 

Alas, in life, there are numerous instances of frenzy and fury, rage and ruckus, all these could have been averted with the least efforts.  In fact, in some cases, no effort would have been needed to avert a problem.  All that could have been done was NOT to have NOT taken that unnecessary action.  If you're into a precarious situation at work or you're into a tenuous relationship or even into a business in the brink of things, STAYING THE COURSE is the least you can do.  Let the MAIN THING be the MAIN THING.  Anything else besides the MAIN THING doesn't even worth your attention✅✅✅

Fit Like a Glove

Fit Like a Glove

Like it or not, in life we gotta 'Fit Like a Glove'.  And this is non-negotiable.  Whether you're talking of growing-up kids, students, workers, entrepreneurs or even partners in life, if you ain't 'Fit Like a Glove', anytime now someone might yell at you 'GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN', whew.

When you transferred to a new school and you hear your teachers telling you that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', that says a lot.  When you move house into a new community and you hear your new neighbors declare that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove'. that's no less a compliment.  When you migrate to a new country and everyone tells you that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', it reaffirms that YOU have successfully hurdled the transition in your life well enough.  When you change jobs and you hear them declare that YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', it says you're 'OVER THE [first] HUMP'.  When you commit yourself to your long-term/lifetime partner and you hear your family and friends declare that each of YOU 'Fit Like a Glove', you're in it for it.

Have we heard of someone transferring to a new school and facing difficulties adjusting into the new environ ?  Have we heard a worker moving to a new job and seemingly 'climbing a steep' slope because of the culture and environ in that new company ?  Have we heard of an entrepreneur struggling with his startup business because it is his very first time to get into that foray ?  How about relationships ?  How many have we heard of failed relationships because either of the two partners just can't 'FIT LIKE A GLOVE' in that relationship ?

And let's not claim that there is a dearth of gloves out there because there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL.  You got choices, a lot of them.  Before you transfer to a new school, before you move-in to a new community, before you migrate to another country, before you move to your next job, before you embark on a new business and before you commit [AGAIN] to [ANOTHER] relationship, let us admit that we have ONE TOO MANY CHOICES.

Don't we dream of HAPPY ENDINGS ?  Being in the best school possible, bagging the best job role ever, migrating to a country that was #1 on your life, getting into a long-term/lifetime relationship that should last till your last breath, it means you did everything you can for you to 'FIT LIKE A GLOVE' but to get into that, you need to go through the wringer, with tons of SACRIFICES, painstaking ADJUSTMENTs, stretched ADAPTABILITY and reasonable ACCEPTANCE of whatever circumstances you are in.  Remember, YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE NOW because of your actions [OR inaction, because of your planning [OR mis-planning].  Worth thinking about folks✅✅✅

Are You in the 'MIX OF THINGS'

Are You in the 'MIX OF THINGS'

There's this very old one-liner which says 'MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN'.  But hey, that's from the old-old school of thought.  In our recent generations [whether you're tracing yourself all the way back to the Baby Boomers, Gen X. Millennials and Gen Z], the truth of the matter is that no one is called upon anymore.  But instead, for you to be in the 'MIX of THINGS', you got to worm your way till you're IN then wiggle it out till you're OUT.  Now, the mother of all questions that seem perplexing is WHY do we need to be in the 'MIX of THINGS' ?  Simple folks. You got to be within the visibility distance, within striking distance for you to be in the 'MIX of THINGS'.

Why do we need to be in the 'MIX of THINGS' ?  Simple.  We need every opportunity along our way.  Imagine a landscape with nary any opportunity, what will be left of you.  Nothing. Nada.  Zilch.  But the intriguing piece here is the question why some of us tend to have this and that opportunity Day-IN Day-OUT whereas some of us keep scouring the ground for one ?

Regardless whether you are a student, a worker, an entrepreneur or someone in a relationship, how can you be in the 'MIX of THINGS' ?  As a student in the academe. SHOW YOUR WARES.  At work, FLAUNT YOUR WARES.  In business, SPLASH YOUR WARES.  In a relationship, you got to GIVE IT ALL.

Oh, how did that goldfish eke itself out of the bowl just to be in the 'MIX of THINGS' ?  It's all time that matters.  If you let time go past you, there's no way you can recoup for LOST TIME because that opportunity that slipped is simply put, OPPORTUNITY LOST.

In school, for your professors to put you up in the pedestal for honors, long way back, you should have asserted yourself for you to be in the 'MIX of THINGS'.  At work, you don't show your flair when a new job role arises.  You got to invest in TIME + EFFORTS long way before an opportunity arises for you to be in those 'MIX of THINGS'.  In a relationship, for you to keep things burning with your partner, you just gotta spoil your partner for you to be in the 'MIX of THINGS'.  Let's not be a cellar dweller, dude❗❗❗

Avoid Making Flippant Changes

Avoid Making Flippant Changes

Of all things in life, the #1 non-debatable thread is CHANGE because like it or now, it happens but what is worth dissecting is to figure it out, what's the percentage of CHANGE that's being triggered by us, by you compared to the rest of CHANGES that are triggered either beyond your control or simply because it's force majeure.

Oh, who or what is the favorite whipping boy of CHANGES ?  It's always PLANS PLANS and PLANS, right ?  And its as well guaranteed that CHANGE will happen even the best laid out plans.  And here comes the devil advocate who'll argue then that we would be better off if there are no PLANS in place because what that means, there will be no CHANGES [with no PLANS].

Where's the beef ?  The least we can do is to cause the least changes which can will be triggered by us, by our own selves,  If at all, it's fine and dandy if we trigger changes as long as it will lead to positive outcomes and results [and not for things to go down south.  What changes are most impactful to us ?  It's those FLIPPANT CHANGES, those spur-of-the-moments.

The least we can do is to be able to cope up well with changes.  ACKNOWLEDGING that changes are happening is the least we can do.  But hold your breath, we need to realize that even a good change can sometimes cause STRESS.  But when CHANGES come, keep up with your regular schedule as much as possible.  Seeking SUPPORT for impactful CHANGES is a must-do for you to cope up well enough.

One word that resonates a million times with regard CHANGES is RESILIENCY.  If you are RESILIENT with CHANGES, there is a good chance that you may bounce back and adapt with relative ease.  But if you end up struggling with CHANGES, at the very least, AVOID MAKING FLIPPANT CHANGES ❗❗❗

That Chink in Your Armor

That Chink in Your Armor

Oh, this is a no-brainer.  We all know all our strengths like the palm of our hands.  We even beat our chest and blow the horns for that.  And that's perfectly fine because by nature, we humans are damn proud of our strengths, our pluses, our arsenal which we tap and flaunt as often as we want to not just because of our pride but simply put, it's fair and reasonable for us to leverage on our best cards which we play up especially when there is a need to trump in the interplays of life.

Oh, when do we stumble and sometimes fall flat on our faces ?  It's not because of our strengths, right ? Instead, it is because of those 'CHINKS in our ARMOR' which is exactly analogous to a chain.  Despite the seeming sturdiness of a chain, it does have it's weak links and amongst those weak links, there's definitely that 'weakest link' somewhere along that end-to-end stretch of the chain.  But it is indeed perplexing why, despite the plethora of strengths we have in life, we still have those slip-ups, those moments when we do fall flat on our face.  And let's not baselessly claim that we do not have enough strengths, which explains those stumbling acts we cause.  Lest it be overlooked, studies show that 99% of our failures are triggered by those 'WEAKEST LINKS' in our life.

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Our real problem, though, is the harsh truth that there is so much validity in focusing on our strengths.  They are basically the value we bring to both our personal and business relationships.  Focus on then, instead.  However, ignoring our weaknesses [especially when followed blindly and without context] can be downright dangerous to our own potential success.  So, why don't we drill down on our weaknesses which, social scientists advise, can be grouped into three main categories namely, THOSE THAT TRULY MATTER [example - I'm not good in marathons and since I don't have plans to be in a marathon, I'll ignore that one. Then, there's THOSE THAT MATTER AND NEED TO BE MITIGATED [like - I have a weakness for junk food and have to be aware, constantly monitoring myself].

Lastly, there are THOSE THAT MATTER AND NEED TO BE TURNED INTO A STRENGTH.  A real-life example will be a busy-body a.k.a. gossiper.  If I recognize that as my weakness, I'll work on until, not only did I overcome it, but am well-known for very rarely saying anything negative about anyone.  And let's agree that if we don't overcome that weakness, our level of influence and success in many areas of life would be much less than it is now.  

Oh, most of us would love to be told that they no longer have to focus on something they dislike and are not good anyway.  But here's the thing:  unless we can be guaranteed that our weaknesses will never haunt us in the future, we might want to FOCUS on them.  Certainly, we want to cast off those CHINKS in our ARMOR❗❗❗