Our 2024 YEARENDER: Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!

Our 2024 YEARENDER:  Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  If we go by the clinical and medical explanations, they would tell us that BEHAVIOR is influenced by multifarious factors, including, amongst others, physical factors like age, health, illness, pain, influence of a substance OR medication.  OR even personal and emotional factors like personality, belief, expectations, emotions and even mental health.  BUT should we agree that Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!!!

In real life, though, ACTION shapes our behavior and this fundamental truth is key to unlocking our potential and achieving our most aspirational goals irrespective of WHO we are.  Understanding this concept can be transformative in a world filled with endless distractions and competing priorities💧💧💧

Let's think of the last time you set a goal for yourself.  Perhaps,  it was to exercise more regularly, eat healthier OR dedicate more time to a particular endeavor.  You likely started by planning and even strategizing [even for your personal plans], mapping out the steps you needed to take to achieve your desired outcome.  And while that initial phase is important, recognizing that the purpose of your planning is to remove potential obstacles to ACTION is critical to the successful adoption of a new behavior💥💥💥

Psychologists have long studied the relationship between BEHAVIOR and ACTION and the results of their researches consistently point to one common conclusion:  BEHAVIOR FOLLOWS ACTION.  In other words, it is the act of doing that ultimately shapes our habits, attitude and even beliefs.  This was conceptualized as an 'ACTION FIRST' approach that challenges conventional wisdom and offers new perspective on personal development.  Someone WHO wants to improve his social life for example✅✅✅

He may read books on self-esteem, attend workshops on effective communications and while these activities can be valuable, true confidence is NOT achieved through that passive consumption of information.  Our takeaway:  It is through STEPPING OUT of one's comfort zone, engaging in conversations and facing fears head-on to cultivate our confidence.  Indeed, NOTHING SHAPES US BETTER THAN ACTION!!! Fervently hoping a much much better 2025 NEW YEAR for you and your family🎉🎄🎈

ALERT: SIM-Swapping Getting Rampant

ALERT:  SIM-Swapping Getting Rampant

Not to scare everyone BUT SIM-swapping is one of the nastier hacks you can fall victim too.  Simply put, WHAT happens is that it essentially reroutes your cell number to another SIM, to another phone.  NOT only does it mean all of your text messages and calls are going somewhere else, it also means your two-factor authentication codes [which are needed to log in to online accounts OR to initiate financial transactions] are being redirected too.  Yes, this is an urgent ALERT that SIM-Swapping [is indeed Getting Rampant📗📙📘

Wikipedia tags SIM-swapping various ways, e.g. Port-out scam, SIM-jacking, SIM-splitting, name it, BUT simply put, it clearly defines SIM-swapping as an 'ACCOUNT TAKEOVER' fraud that generally targets a weakness in a two-factor authentication and two-step verification in which the second factor OR step is a text message [SMS] or call placed to a mobile phone.  This fraud exploits a mobile phone service provider's ability to seamlessly port a phone number to a device containing a different subscriber identify module [SIM]💦💦💦

So, HOW exactly SIM-swapping gets triggered?  This rampant scam begins with a fraudster gathering personal details about the potential victim [that explains WHY we have the DATA PRIVACY LAWS - but is everyone complying to it?] either by use of phishing emails OR by buying them from organized criminals [this is very true, BE EXTRA WARY when registering your personal details because that could end up in those 'marketing databases FOR SALE, whew !@#$%?]

The key to a SIM-swap attack is tricking your cellular service provider into swapping your existing cell number to a new SIM.  The tricky part here is that different carriers have different security checks in place to prevent this BUT essentially, a scammer will need access to some sensitive information so they can IMPERSONATE you, your address, your security question, your personal details [so, BE WARY]!!!

Our takeaway:  Here's a preemptive practical and proactive best practice I did invoke just yesterday.  WHEN I received an SMS containing a new OTP [WHEN in fact I was NOT performing any mobile banking transaction], the first thing I did was to CHANGE PASSWORD [because that means someone has attempted to breach your 2FA.  Always remember hackers have a variety of ways can get hold of your personal information.  Sometimes, it's NOT your fault [if there's a data breach] but even then, this warns us NOT to effortlessly input your personal details in every single link volunteered by Sales people purportedly for legit purposes [HOW assured are we that that info WON'T be UP FOR SALE to unscrupulous third parties]?  YES, SIM-swapping is getting rampant and it's unabated❎❎❎

Why Smallness Matters

Why Smallness Matters

Allow me to share this Quora.com post by Bruktawit Abebaw:  A WOMAN TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER WHILE WAITING IN THE CHECKOUT LINE AT COSTCO.  SHE SAID, 'EXCUSE ME, YOUR HAIR IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL'.  I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT SOMETIMES THESE WAVES HIT ME.  I CAUGHT A LUMP N MY THROAT, MY EYES SWELLED AND INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING 'THANK YOU', I SAID INSTEAD 'I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME.  A FEW YEARS AGO, I WAS GOING THROUGH CHEMO AND KEPT PRAYING FOR IT TO GROW BACK BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN I'M LIVING CANCER-FREE AND THIS SUNDAY I'M CELEBRATING MY 5TH YEAR OF REMISSION.  Indeed, Smallness Matters.  WHO would expect that that casual remark meant a lot❗❗❗

YES, sometimes, the best way to remember the value of SMALL-SMALL things is to look for those random acts of kindness can do for others, even if it's nothing more than a casual remark like what transpired at the Costco queue.  Let us NOT underestimate the power of delivering a meal to a sick friend, inviting a new co-worker to eat lunch with you [WHICH has become more of a ritual for me through the years because at that point in time WHEN someone is very new in the organization, being invited by the boss himself should at the very least reaffirm with the newbie that he made the right decision to board that ship💧💧💧

I remember WHEN I had to initiate some minor renovations at home. I had about less than 10 workers WHO I witnessed working damn hard under the scorching sun.  WHEN the clock was ticking towards noontime, I told them that I'll give each of them a 100-peso allowance for their lunch [which I'll dole out then for the next 2 weeks until all the civil works were done].  I knew then that the 100-pesos hardly dented my pocket BUT I was quite sure that it meant a lot for them, at least to get over the burden of spending for their daily lunches.  It was the same sentiment I made it a habit of treating my new staff for lunch on his/her day-1 [which reminds me, my Dutch boss treated me for lunch on my day-1.  The stark difference was that my boss treated me for lunch at his favorite bar [with girls dancing right at high-noon]!@#$%?

Oh Oh Oh, I observed this perennial 'show stopper' in us WHEREIN some of us [sometimes] would feel that pressure of BEING NOTICED.  YES it is so easy to feel like we are being overlooked at home, at work OR even within our community WHEN we are into those SMALL-SMALL things we're doing in GOOD FAITH because let's admit it, they are NOT usually those glamorous things in the first place.  And it can feel more gratifying to be the loudest voice in the room BUT we need to remember that just because a voice is the loudest DOESN'T mean it's the one making the biggest difference✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Can we SLOW DOWN?  BUT hey, our daily lives seem to move damn fast, right?  We rush from meeting to meeting.  Even WHEN most of us got locked-down by the recent pandemic, the frenetic back-to-back Zoom calls and meetings were back-breaking to say the least.  BUT I realized that [that] frenetic pace of our lives is one of the very major culprits WHY many of us seem to be missing out those little-little things, those SMALL-SMALL stuff in life [which to others would mean heaven and earth all rolled into one].  For brevity, one option we can consider when SMALLNESS MATTERS is to practice gratitude, dude😊😊😊

Is Your Cup Full Or Overflowing?

Is Your Cup Full Or Overflowing?

During trying times, you may feel that your positive energies are dwindling, sometimes your cup may seem more empty than full.  When your cup feels diminished, HOW do you refill it?  If one of your goals is to take some time for yourself, HOW can you carve out some minutes each day that are just for you?  WHAT can you say NO to, so that you can YES to you?  To reclaim time and space for yourself, we need to find out if Your Cup is Full Or Overflowing???

Now, the purpose and use of CUPS can be discussed in many contexts.  And one of my favorite iterations of the word CUP is the metaphor 'IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY'.  True, it seems a complicated question because the answer changes depending on WHAT is occurring in your life.  BUT either way, the glass needs to be filled to some degree in order for the question to exist.  Same goes for humans.  Something needs to be in our CUPS in order to thrive.  So, WHAT does that mean, exactly???

That metaphor of filling our CUP typically refers to the idea that a CUP and WHAT is inside function as a meter of WHETHER or NOT our personal needs are fulfilled.  When our CUPs are filled, it shows that we are in a healthy state to provide for others' needs are fulfilled.  And the less we have in our CUPs, the less capable we are of helping others.  This is something where psychologists coined the jargon 'GIVERS'  as in Psychology, the three reciprocity styles are termed as either GIVERS, TAKERS or MATCHERS❗❗❗

While GIVERS are characterized by their prosocial traits, such as selflessness, they're those people in your life whose natural impulse OR tendency is to take on others' problems typically before their own.  This separates them from TAKERS and MATCHERS.  Psychologists, however, highlight that GIVERS can take on that unhealthy traits of TAKERS when their own CUPS are empty.  Researches further showed that unhealthy GIVING can be associated with negative outcomes such as feeling overwhelmed by others' problems or feeling frustrated❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  If I was asked many years ago, I would be guilty to admit that I used to thrive on BEING BUSY [oooops, it's admitting that I seem to have NO boundaries] BUT now I admit that I fully know that in order to thrive, you [and that includes moi] must rest first.  So, to the GIVERS out there, while you are appreciated and your role is valued, we need to revisit our intentions so that, regardless in the future WHETHER your CUP is half-full OR half-empty, we can honestly admit ours is full because regardless, we're here ready to help💥💥💥

It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!

It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!

In a rematch between NBA inter-state ballclubs Miami Heat and the Orlando Magic, it was a perfect picture of tables turned around upside down.  In their first match, Miami Heat led up to 20+ points for 3 quarters until they folded up.  In their rematch today which ended as a clutch game, Orlando Magic led by double-digits 3 quarters of the game until they got nipped by a Tyler Herro killer mid-jumper in the last 4 seconds.  At the post-game conference, Coach Jamal Mosley was NOT apologetic with regard Orlando Magic's fumbling act, explicitly stating that in the NBA world, "It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!"  WHAT he meant was that the end-result of the game was shaped many many possessions WAY PRIOR to that LAST 2 MINUTES.   If I may add, that truism extends even to our everyday life, way out and beyond the NBA basketball rough-and-tumble world 📗📙📘

That said, Plato, the Greek Philosopher was widely quoted: "THE FIRST AND BEST VICTORY IS TO CONQUER SELF".  Having said that, learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to DISCIPLINE [SELF-DISCIPLINE in fact].  Happiness, success, and fulfillment, they all stem from FOCUS and SELF-CONTROL.  I remember the zillion times WHEN every morning, I had to come down from my hotel room, facing an eat-all-you-can buffet, that prospect of making a quick buck, OR that lazy lure of sleeping versus getting up on your feet.  And studies have consistently shown that people with better SELF-DISCIPLINE are much HAPPIER.  WHY oh WHY???

Because with SELF-DISCIPLINE and SELF-CONTROL we actually accomplish more of the goals we truly care about.  YES, SELF-DISCIPLINE is that 'bridge' between our defined goals and our accomplished goals.  Think about it, it could be the longest imaginary bridge to exist in this world because even for those WHO were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, that imaginary bridge between their defined goals and our accomplished goals are more than just a mile-long because along every stretch of that bridge are traps and 'land mines' embedded to betray our journey and WHAT better way to get over the hump than with SELF-DISCIPLINE and SELF-CONTROL✅✅✅

To quote an author I missed the name now, his book claimed that people with a higher degree of SELF-CONTROL are likely to spend LESS TIME debating WHETHER to indulge in behaviors and activities that DON'T align with their values and goals.  WHY?  They are that more decisive.  They DON'T let impulses OR feelings dictate their choices [WHICH sometimes leads us to waffling and indecision].  Instead, they become their very own 'architects' of their own beliefs and the actions they take to achieve a desired outcome.  And as a result, they AREN'T as easily distracted by temptation and tend to feel more satisfied with their own lives😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Allow me to quote Bruce Lee, the great Chinese martial arts expert WHO said:  TO HELL WITH CIRCUMSTANCES.  I CREATE OPPORTUNITIES.  Simply put, let us NOT wait for that LAST 2 MINUTES of the ballgame [because of our misguided fallacy that the LAST 2 MINUTES will still bring eternity in the ballgame.  NO sirrrrrs, 2 minutes is 2 minutes and nowhere does it approximate the 48 minutes of a basketball game.  Same argument runs true in our life.  Let us NOT wait for that LAST 2 MINUTES dude!@#$%?

[All-year-round] Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself

[All-year-round] Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself

In the NBA, Jimmy Butler, one of the league's top-tier players, makes the competition more wary of him WHEN the NBA tournament reaches the playoff phase because by then, he gets dubbed as 'PLAYOFF JIMMY'.  Meaning, during the playoff phase, competition gets more threatened because he shows up in his BEST VERSION.  A month ago, when he was angling for a contract renewal, Pat Riley, the revered Miami Heat 'godfather' stomped his foot down and chimed, he wants to see in Jimmy an [All-year-round] The BEST VERSION Of himself.  That stopped the conversation then and there, and now Jimmy has to prove [All-year-round] To Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself [NOT just during playoffs]📘📙📗

True, everyone wants to become the BEST VERSION of themselves BUT few actually do it.  More often, the wish does NOT match the outcome and the results.  It's because we are our WORST ENEMY  when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that's filled with passion and purpose.  Worse, some of us are self-destructive without realizing it and others are conscious of the fact, but lack the tools or knowledge in order to improve💧💧💧

BUT regardless, most of us are unaware that we do have habits that continually get into the way of becoming a success in our endeavors.  So, WHAT does the BEST VERSION of yourself mean?  The definition itself can be subjective because your own version may NOT be the same as your family or close friends.  Considering this, DON'T give in to the temptation of comparing yourself with others.  BUT instead, remember your personal definition of your BEST VERSION is WHAT matters, period💥💥💥

Additionally, your BEST VERSION does NOT need to be the same thing forever.  Over time, even your very own definition of your BEST VERSION will evolve and change in all areas of your life.  So, DON'T even be hesitant to be flexible because as you thread along, you could be moving your goal posts, levelling up and challenging yourself to take aim for the next level.  Generally, your BEST VERSION means taking control of your life.  WHEN you call the shots, you become more empowered to make decisions towards your happiness.  More than that, let us remember that our BEST VERSION does NOT always mean winning OR prevailing over the field OR competition❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Even if you ask your partner/spouse, family or close coterie of friends, everyone will tell you that UNLOCKING your BEST VERSION is NEVER an overnight process.  It could even take donkey years.  For some, it takes decades.  For a few, it takes a lifetime before he/she reaches his/her BEST VERSION.  Just brace yourself for the ride and enjoy your journey to be your BEST VERSION❗❗❗

Finding FUN Again

Finding FUN Again

Ask me, what makes me envious of children?  It's their never ending appetite for FUN, yes as it is spelled F-U-N.  BUT hey, children DON'T have a monopoly of FUN.  I thought we adults deserve as much FUN as they do.  And probably, we deserve double OR triple their FUN because we grind day-in and day-out, it should NOT be doubted OR debated if we adults deserve double OR triple their FUN.  BUT the bigger question that bogs us down is Finding FUN Again.  Is it something to be served to us on a silver platter?  Is it a DIY thing where we would NOT need to lift our finger?  OR is it a FUN we need to reacquire but we need to work our butts out???

YES, from time to time, we all need to be reminded HOW to make things FUN again.  We need to be reminded that we even have that option [and that option WON'T be taken away from us at all].  It DOESN'T take much to make people forget FUN.  Fifteen minutes of movie-streaming or listening to podcast is enough to do it for them.  A phone call with someone WHO is already having something very other than FUN.  A meeting with someone who's 'secret agenda' is about proving how more important he/she than you📗📙📘

A driver WHO ignores you on purpose.  Lost keys.  Lost temper.  Losing.  And the whole entire beautiful thing gets ruined.  And this is most relevant and true to people going through transition, OR in remission, OR in recovery, people attempting to regain themselves after a particularly profound change.  True, some people remember FUN but WHAT gets lost is how can they make things FUN again💦💦💦

We all had that share of FUN way back our childhood.  Playing every day, climbing trees [and somethings falling off, bruised], running through fields [and stumbling flat on our face].  Surely, those moments are priceless.  You probably had similar experiences.  Even as recent as your high school days when activities tend to veer towards more of adventures.  You explored new places, even sleepovers, even sharing secrets we're afraid our parents will know.  Indeed, those growing up years was excitement at its best✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  As adults, we tend to lose that sense of FUN.  We got to admit we miss those carefree days.  Responsibilities take over.  We forget to play, NOT on purpose.  Everything else becomes essential BUT FUN.  Work and chores fill up our days.  Stress and worries would even replace joy.  Then, weeks blur into months.  You blink and another Christmas comes.  WHERE did all the time go?  WHERE did all the time go?  People seem to have forgotten FINDING FUN AGAIN❗❗❗MERRY CHRISTMAS to all ❗❗❗

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?  Well, let le me share this post by Victoria Hardesty @Quora.com.  Shortly afer 9/11, anyone travelling in the U.S. will go through a grim if NOT terrifying experience with TSA/airport security then. And at the airport, their baggages will be manually checked by grim-looking security personnel as the people doing the checks had no smiles.  Until she turned to her husband, spoke out loud and asked him if he'd pull all the sex toys in her suitcase😃😃😃

That seemed to break the moods of both the queueing passengers and the baggage checkers and the poor young woman previously grimly checking the baggage just couldn't stop giggling.  WHAT's the moral of this story?  It really seems to prove that lighting up things can even turn upside down all the grim and stress into an entirely light interaction.  Alas, many of us [and I've been guilty of this many times in my life] would sometimes get so buried deep in a hole, unable to lighten up things💥💥💥

Can we imagine that unfathomable situation wherein, in the midst of stress, we will end up clutching on straws with what Pharmacology offers us?  NOT to downplay the upsides of it but the sad truth is that many of us end up to be vulnerable once we start staking all our marbles in that Russian Roulette game because the best scenario is a stalemate at best❎❎❎

Thing is, all these would boil down to our poor coping skills.  WHAT aggravates matters is that we ourselves are even unaware that such is the case.  Factually, stress relief from laughter is NO JOKE.  WHEN it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just WHAT the doctor ordered.  WHY?  WHETHER you're guffawing at a sitcom on TV OR quietly giggling at a newspaper cartoon, laughing does you good.  Laughter is a great form of stress relief and that's NO JOKE.  True, a good sense of humor CAN'T cure all ailments BUT research data is mounting about the positive things laughter can do for us.  A good laugh has great short-term effects😀😀😀

WHEN you start laughing, it DOESN'T just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body.  Studies have proven that laughter can stimulate many organs as laughter enhances one's intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.  Our takeaway:  The benefits span even the long-term.  So, laughter ISN'T just a quick pick-me-up.  Experts are one i saying that it can improve one's immune system even as it increases one's personal satisfaction which in the end, does improve your mood.  So, ARE JOKES THE ANTIDOTES TO STRESS?  Absolutely, dude❗❗❗

Of Winners & Whiners

Of Winners & Whiners

How can one letter be so damn powerful, akin to separating the waters in the Red Sea?  Yes, that letter 'H' is that damn powerful.  You insert 'H' in WINNERS, you end up with 'WHINERS'.  Simply put, the person WHO wants to do something will find a way [WHATEVER it takes].  On the other hand, the person WHO DOESN'T will never fail find a reason [call that 'EXCUSE'?] to extricate him/herself out of that situation?   Indeed, Of Winners & Whiners📗📙📘

Oh oh, I CAN'T disagree further from this poster, just 100% true and factual.  So, the puzzling question is what does that letter 'H' got to do, to create this huge divide between WINNERS versus WHINERS?  Many studies have been undertaken and they all ended up with the same conclusions.  THAT there's a huge difference between those two groups the way they THINK, TALK and ACT.  In terms of the way they think, WINNERS keep an open mind.  They consciously refrain from thinking a particular goal is impossible💙💙💙

With WINNERS, as long as they continue to think something is possible, their subconscious minds continue to to work towards the achievement of their goals.  Contrast this to the WHINERS who we'll hear "THAT WON'T WORK" and they start thinking of all kinds of reasons WHY they shouldn't try farther.  And they will then rationalize their lack of effort OR their feelings of fear by telling themselves those 'RATIONAL LIES'.  Moreover, WINNERS talk differently.  WINNERS speak out positive words of affirmation.  They even memorize words OR self-motivating sentences and say them out loud over and over again💦💦💦

The TALE OF THE TAPE says it all.  And clearly, the Red Sea sets them far apart.  In real life, we all experience NOT just the UPs but the DOWNs.  Times WHEN the harvest is low.  Times WHEN business is down.  Times WHEN we are jobless.  Times when we are struggling because someone in the family is seriously medically ill.  BUT while WHINERS tend to commiserate, we will hear from WINNERs those encouraging words like 'NEVER COUNT THE MIGHT-HAVE-BEENS OR YOU'LL BE DEJECTED'. Just NEVER look at WHAT you have lost.  BUT instead, look at WHAT you have left.  Really, that kind of mindset will make one envious of WINNERS [if ever he/she is a WHINER]😄😄😄

Our takeaway:  If we have swept you off your feet to agree that we should all be WINNERS than WHINERS, let's 'pooh-pooh' everything we hear from the former and instead, let's stick to our guns and commit ourselves to the WINNING qualities we want to master, embodying qualities on PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE and CONFIDENCE.    I remember the champions tell us, speak out those three words every morning and evening, say each word 50 times each and you will NOT be far from that path to be a WINNER [and NOT a WHINER]❗❗❗

Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?

Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?

Per se, DESIRES are NOT wrong, NOT that bad either.  BUT let's attempt to link DESIRES and DESTINY.  While DESIRE derives from the Latin word 'DESIDERARE', which means 'to long OR wish for', WHICH itself derives from the 'DE SIDERE'  [which means, 'from the stars', suggesting that the original sense is 'to await WHAT the stars will bring'.  True, DESIRES constantly arise from within us, only to be replaced by yet more DESIRES.  Without this continuous stream of 'DESIRING', there would NO longer be any reason to do anything.  As they say, life would grind to a halt, as it does for people WHO lose the ability to DESIRE.  WHEN things turn from bad to worse, an acute crisis of DESIRE corresponds to boredom and a chronic crisis towards depression.  Oh no. Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?  True, it is DESIRE that moves us and gives our life direction and meaning, perhaps NOT meaning in the cosmic sense, BUT meaning in the more restricted narrative sense📗📙📘

Nope, NOT all DESIRES are bad.  WHY?  It's simply because we were all born out of DESIRE and cannot remember a time WHEN we were without it.  We are so used to DESIRING that we are NOT conscious of our DESIRES, which only register with us WHEN they are very intense OR WHEN they come into conflict with our other DESIRES.  That's the paradox of DESIRE💥💥💥

So, HOW do we get around this paradox of DESIRE, that even the DESIRE to stop DESIRING is itself a DESIRE?  To get around this paradox, psychologists conceived that 'CESSATION OF DESIRE' via enlightenment, and NOT as the culmination of an intentional process BUT as a simple accident.  The problem with DESIRE is that if DESIRE is life, WHY should we then seek to control DESIRE?  For the simple reason that we seek to control life, OR at least our life, to make it more pleasant OR less painful, and more constructive as well😕😕😕

The thing is, all suffering can be framed in terms of DESIRE.  If unmet DESIRE becomes painful, so are fear and anxiety, which can then be understood in terms of DESIRES about the future, and anger and even sadness which can understood in terms of DESIRES about the past.  That mid-life crisis is nothing if NOT a crisis of DESIRE as well❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  If indeed DESIRE itself is hurtful, so are its by-products.  The accumulation of properties in life [DON'T get me wrong, all along I wanted things that way as well], cars and other riches robs us of our time and tranquility, both in their acquiring and in their keeping, NOT to mention in their losing.  BTW, I DON'T mean that we should shun riches,  merely that we should NOT set out for, or set store by, them.  Are our DESIRES 'killing' us???