That 'FACELESS' Elephant In The Room

 

HOW often were we told [sometimes whispered through] NOT to keep SECRETS!@#$%?  THAT we've got to be transparent.  THAT we be seamless.  THAT we be an 'OPEN BOOK'.  Ouch!@#$%?  TELL IT TO THE MARINES, dude.  Game's over long time back.  We're NOT even in the 19th century anymore.  On a serious note, I have a 'NOT SO' giveaway question here:  In the light of our threads with regard SECRETS, can someone guess as to WHO/WHAT is that FACELESS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!@#$%?

And that 'NOT SO' tough answer is......  YesYesYow, you hit it 'spot on'.  It is NO LESS than SOCIAL MEDIA.  YES, I'm NOT here to defend any Tom, Dick and Harry BUT to be brutally frank, while decades back, SOCIAL MEDIA was nothing more than just somewhere on the fringes, these recent years, SOCIAL MEDIA has literally TAKEN OVER our lives.  DON'T look farther than simply prowling through TikTok and Meta's Facebook❎❎❎

SECRETS get spilled ten times faster than the speed of light, YES that breaches Mach 10 [approximately 12,348 kilometers per hour].  Juicy SECRETS whether it pertains to geo-politics and the Middle East conflicts, the 'below the surface' strategic moves of Saudi Arabia's crown prince [that's Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud] WHO's literally running the show in his country, and over to the juicy rumors coming from the British Royals, and the endless juice from Hollywood, there's that FACELESS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM💥💥💥

NOT to douse cold water over those damn 'juicy rumors' and half-truths [a.k.a. FAKE NEWS], let's go back to basics.  There are just things in our lives that would remain as such [and it's imperative that you commit to be utterly protective to shield these SECRETS away from SOCIAL MEDIA before you become toast and thrown under the bus:

• YOUR personal matters of your home.  Leave it at that.
• YOUR or your family's health issues.  Leave it that way.
• YOUR earnings, your ballooning $$$.  Shield it away.
• YOUR priorities yesterday, today and tomorrow.  YES, you collaborate only with the immediate parties you would need for those priorities.  None others, period

Our takeaway:  Surely, most of our readership will blurt out LIKE:  WE KNOW THOSE REMINDERS.  DON'T MENTION IT.  BUT hey dude, the reason WHY we're highlighting these reminders is all because of that FACELESS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.  SOCIAL MEDIA will never stop to tempt you to send a DM or a TikTok post to your friend, colleague and even strangers you casually met for the first time any OR all of these too sensitive SECRETS because if at all, these are yours [and your own immediate family's] alone.  To be an OPEN BOOK? YES you can BUT be super-duper mindful of the boundaries etched in the sands😡😡😡

Caution With Regard OVERACHIEVING

 

NOT to a fault BUT surely, from the time we were good enough to stand up and go to school, we would heard from our parents the recurring motto of NOT just achieving BUT OVER-ACHIEVING.  Fast forward WHEN we become a part of the workforce, NOT just our organization BUT even global human resource entities like Mercer Group peddled that BELL CURVE thing.  And the message was, BELL CURVEs are here to stay.  BUT the spiel DOESN'T stop there.  Instead, it starts there because the messaging that will keep to be resonated is the need NOT just to achieve BUT to OVER-ACHIEVE.  At work, in those performance measurements, if you did well your expected work 100% with no slip ups OR foul-ups, you are just GOOD enough BUT NOT enough to become a high performer💧💧💧

To put things in a balanced perspective though, that desire to ACHIEVE is a major source of strength both in our personal and professional lives.  YES, it generates that passion and energy WHICH would fuel that expected growth and help us, as individuals, to sustain the progress we would have achieved to date.  And without causing undue alarms, that trajectory of achieving MORE until it translates to OVER-ACHIEVING has been on an unabated rise through the decades and NEVER is it expected to dip.  No thanks even to human resource consultants WHO have peddled that BELL CURVE ever since💥💥💥

BUT here's the thing.  To be an OVER-ACHIEVER is poles apart from being a HIGH PERFORMER.  And WHAT differentiates an OVERACHIEVER from a HIGH PERFORMER is that intention behind their seek for greatness.  And by default, the OVERACHIEVER believes that their work will fill that emotional void and that they are defined by it.  WHEREAS the HIGH PERFORMER believes that work is a great way of reaching a concrete goal in life and that performing well is a great way of doing it✅✅✅

YES, unfortunately, many of us experience life growing up doing too much although even from my personal life, to be fair to everyone, that OVERACHIEVING pitch was NEVER forced upon me.  It's just that I had to hear my mother's spiel countless times that OVERACHIEVING is the way to go.  BUT NOT to heap blame on her, I have to be honest, I NEVER heard from her even a sampling of disadvantages BUT frankly, there are disadvantages.  LIKE its impact to mental health because

OVERACHIEVERs tend to struggle with perfectionism and with that constant drive, it leads to more stress and even potentially, depression may creep by then😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  As I'm NOT one to reinvent the wheel, let me share WHAT experts have been highlighting as the downsides of being an OVERACHIEVER [without implying that one should NOT be an OVERACHIEVER]:

• SOCIAL ISOLATION - Due to the intense focus on personal achievement, it is difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships as WHEN others DON'T share the same drive
• LACK of SATISFACTION - Because OVERACHIEVERs may find it difficult to appreciate their accomplishments and enjoy the journey.

Dude, we're cautioned with regard OVERACHIEVING!!! p.s. We're NOT downplaying OR belittling OVERACHIEVERs.  In fact, we should appreciate and celebrate them😀😀😀

Scratching The Surface [Really Means SCRATCHING THE SURFACE]

 

Sometimes, we [wrongly] liken the surface to the truth itself.  LIKE WHEN he appears to be nice, then he's damn nice.  In the NBA's competitive world of hoops, WHEN a rookie tops the box scores in his very first foray come the next Summer League, the bar gets raised and he's tagged as one of top rookies to shine.  LIKE someone who tops his academic class and is offered an executive trainee role in an MNC, likely it's because he's been identified as a blue-chip 'New Kid on the Block' rookie💚💛💜

WHEN I was first hired at Global MNC Shell @ the workplace, I was NOT that blue-chip Tier-1 hire.  WHICH means, during my early years of our annual performance appraisals, my CEP [Career Expected Potential] was NOT tagged as either A, B or C [because those are employees seen as potential C-Suite level.  BUT within myself, I told myself, that was the least of my concerns because at that time I was barely SCRATCHING THE SURFACE then💧💧💧

BUT the thing is, many of us [and I was guilty of this early in my career], we tend to get in a comfort zone after barely SCRATCHING THE SURFACE, WHICH WHEN translated in layman's terms, by then I had barely learned anything if at all yet.  The little confidence that comes from SCRATCHING THE SURFACE is good [BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH] and we just DON'T need to settle there.  Instead, we need to keep scratching and scratching way way beyond the surface.  Sadly, in these times we're going through, many [if NOT a majority] really lack that enduring patience in life.  Instead, we tend to seek fast and quick results very much akin to those social gratifications we instantly receive via LIKES and FOLLOWERs in social media💥💥💥

WHENEVER I get to spare a fraction of my slack time through the years, I tried to test the waters by randomly raising some topics worth discussing and I realized that most of them only seem to touch the surface.  This is NOT to claim that I'm better than them [as there is NO basis for me to say so] BUT I'd rather blame Mr Google the past years and Ms AI at least the past year OR so because they seem to be always within our fingertips and WHEN we throw a question, WHATEVER it is, voila, got the answer!!!

Our takeaway:  AFAIK, the results arising from either Mr Google OR Ms AI [LIKE ChatGPT] might NOT be objectively acceptable in all situation by everyone.  If only we spend some time critically reading and thinking the entire threads, sometimes some learning can be expected to happen.  True, it takes years to get good at something.  We can only create OR contribute anything useful IF we keep learning in systematic manner.  Really, SCRATCHING THE SURFACE literally means the same thing too!!!

Don't Just Tick The Boxes. 'GREEN CHECK' It!

 

Are you just TICKING THE BOXES?  YES, I've seen tons and tons of checklist with all those check boxes and many times I kept thinking about the fate of those boxes.  WHEN you keep checking those boxes, do you ever feel like you're constantly doing things BUT none of it means anything?  LIKE you're busy BUT in reality, you DON'T seem to be moving forward?  YES I'm with you.  It's something I did struggle in the past too WHERE everyday feels like I'm going through the motions, waking up, working, checking off tasks💥💥💥

BUT despite all that, quite a few times in the past, I felt like feeling empty at the end just before I hit the sack.  And I did consult a friend WHO has specialized in Psychology and he dissected and concluded that likely, I seem to be AVOIDING WHAT REALLY MATTERS.  WHAAAAAT?  i was lost with words WHEN I heard his prognosis because let's get real here.  All of us do it.  We fill our days with sometimes those meaningless tasks to avoid WHAT really matters.  WHY? Because it's easier to feel productive than to look people in the eye and face the mess.  For me, it's those hard conversations, the ambitious projects, OR even my personal goals then that I kept putting off❌❌❌

For me then, those were hard conversations I had with my friend even as I realized that the things that could change, things that could be game-changers BUT ironically those stuff did scare me no end.  So, I did face the mirror more than once and asked myself, WHAT really scares me?  And I challenged myself IF I'm ticking the boxes simply to gain that scarce feeling accomplishment?  And finally, I did ask myself, WHAT one thing I know I should do BUT I seem too stubborn to keep avoiding doing it???

My realization then during those agonies is that indeed it was uncomfortable BUT avoiding the important things in life was effectively killing my potential.  Something that, maybe you too, fell for.  Those times, I tend to believed that there has to be a justification for more doing, more goals, more tasks, more hustle.  BUT there was one thing I failed to grasp, NOT until my friend spoon-fed me then.  He brutally told me that MORE DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN BETTER.  Sadly, many of us are always behind the idea of "MORE" , NOT wondering IF it's the right stuff BUT I realized that doing much more would NOT solve a problem.  And it DOESN'T matter IF it actually does anything at all😓😓😓

Our takeaway:  These days, I keep hearing that BUSY IS THE NEW LAZY.  And I can't disagree with this because it is indeed true, we seem to be confusing our activity with achievements.  BUT that's NOT apples-to-apples dude.  NOW let's go down to our main point here.  Are you running after other people's dreams?  We get things done that DON'T make us happy.  All because of conditioning, that is, being taught HOW to live a life based on 'majority approval' which is all skewed, right?  WHICH means, we should NOT just CHECK BOXES BUT GREEN CHECK IT dude!!!

A Real Heart-touching Love Story

 

NOoooooooo sirrrrrs, I'm NOT switching careers to become a Dr LOVE adviser cum counsellor but allow me to paste herein EN TOTO the Quora.com post by Fano:  

Actor Vin Diesel broke up with his partner 3 years ago, but when they separated he didn't ask her to leave his house, he feared she would live on a lower level, so he left her the marital home and went to rent a small apartment near her.

He also sent weekly bills for her and her daughter, and paid all monthly internet, phone and electricity bills, and categorically refused to let the media publish anything about their separation.

Six years later, his partner had an accident while returning from a shopping trip. He went to the hospital, stood by her side and even donated blood to her. When she recovered, they got back together.

Conclusion: Love and respect must always remain present, preserve precious memories and respect each other. This is true love, human sacrifice and the purpose of life💚💛💜

Much as I DON'T want to be a copycat, allow me to share here this 'helpful framework' [WHICH I'd rather call as a FORMULA] in life:  COMMITMENT = (TREASURES - TROUBLES) + CONTRIBUTIONS - CHOICES.  This AI overview highlights the fact that even in a linear manner, POSITIVE aspects in life clearly outweigh the NEGATIVE ones.  l remember one marriage counselling book WHICH sums it all as follows:  SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS priority QUALITY TIME, EMOTIONAL SUPPORT and jointly work for both the individual and shared growth.  WHICH brings me to the dire reality of diaspora impacting a huge slice of populations especially from third world countries💥💥💥

Looking back, regardless of culture, country OR even religion, divorce rates are a fact of life.  And although we're seeing and witnessing that the human diaspora from third world countries are a major factor in the fragmentation [and eventually separations] of couples, you'll be surprised that the countries registering the highest divorce rates are first world countries like Canada, Netherlands, Sweden and even Spain and Portugal.  In short, we CAN'T simply point to third world countries registering high divorce rates❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHILE there is 'no one size that fits all', once I remember this touching VIN DIESEL love story, this makes me realize that you could be a major part of Hollywood's tinselworld BUT you can be as human as possible.  That unique love story also reminds us that WRONGs will always happen in life BUT we can always 'RIGHT THE WRONGs' BUT before I end up eating my own words, allow me to qualify that human relationships can either look like that SIMPLEST equation to the most convoluted and complex one.  BUT all hope is NOT lost if we can still pick up a lesson OR two from Vin Diesel's real HEART-TOUCHING LOVE STORY💚💜💛

When Our Path Ahead Is NOT Clear Enough

 

99% of the time, we would hear sage advices LIKE follow the path, take the road, go along the course and the like.  BUT in reality, sometimes, we DON'T have that path OR road ahead clear enough for us to follow.  Worst, sometimes, there is hardly any traces of a road OR even a trail out there in the forest.  WHAT do we do then WHEN we CAN'T find a path forward especially WHEN we DON'T know WHAT to do?  WHAT's our course to take then???

YES YES yow, in life, we all have times WHEN we are either confused, uncertain OR worst, as a net effect, indecisive.  Sometimes it pertains more as to how to resolve a problem we're facing, LIKE preparing for a job interview OR even transitioning into your new job role OR it could as casual OR petty LIKE filing your annual income tax OR in real life, LIKE fixing a leaky bathroom faucet.  And there are tons more of issues we face day to day, YET we do get lost😡😡😡

BUT for these samplings, these are quite straightforward enough.  And the bottom line in these samplings, we just need to earnestly learn solving OR fixing that problem at hand.  BUT there are times WHEN our problems are NOT so much about skills BUT about emotions that make us indecisive.  So WHEN do we get stuck?

• WHEN we DON'T want to upset others
• WHEN you're UNSURE of what you want
• WHEN you want to make that perfect choice
• WHEN you have too many options to choose

NOT wanting to upset others happens WHEN we're afraid of a disapproval OR conflict OR just being put on the spot and needing to defend yourself, WHICH is especially difficult IF you're NOT solidly sure of yourself, of your plan, of your idea.  And WHEN you're NOT sure of WHAT you want, that happens WHEN we got tons of ideas as to WHAT to could be the best course to take.  YES, I vividly remember many times WHEN I had one too many options at hand, causing myself to get stuck and stalled.  And before I realized it, I was indecisive during those times.  And of cour se we're sometimes too perfect, too good to be true, we end up struggling with all the mix of options we have, figuring out and eventually getting caught in a loop of indecision as to WHICH IS THE BEST OF THE BEST💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  This may be like a play of words BUT WHEN there is NO clear path, the best practical advice we need to heed is to KEEP WALKING and along the way, you'll be making that path by moving forward in spite of your NOT knowing it beforehand.  And as you move forward, trust me, things will become clearer, albeit NOT magically instant.  YES dude, we CAN'T go on WHEN OUR PATH AHEAD IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH😗😗😗

Moral Of The Story: Wine Drinkers Are REALLY Kind-hearted!

 

Sharing this EN TOTO from Quora.com [Alex Writes]:  The Helsinki-Toronto flight was carrying 400 passengers and only 200 lunches. The airline made a mistake, and the crew found themselves in a difficult situation. However, one quick-witted flight attendant had an idea. About 30 minutes after takeoff, she announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know how this could have happened, but we have 400 passengers on board and only 200 lunches." "Anyone kind enough to give up their meal for someone else will receive unlimited free wine for the entire flight." Their next announcement came 6 hours later: "Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 200 lunches available!"💦💦💦

As we titled our blog today, Moral Of The Story:  Wine Drinkers Are REALLY Kind-hearted!  Seriously though, this speaks volumes WHEN heartedness and KINDNESS itself kicks.  A month ago when I drove twelve hours from the metro to my province, after swooping down local products WHICH were scarce [and 3 to 5 times more expensive in the metro area, we just road the 3-wheeled trike [for obvious reasons].  On the way back to the hotel, I asked the trike driver, HOW much will he charge and he replied 50 bucks.  WHEN I alighted at the hotel, I repeated the same question, and WHEN he said 50 bucks, I gave him a 100 bucks [and suddenly, he grabbed my hands with gratefulness]😀😀😀

NOW, here's another day-to-day mix-up we sometimes misconstrue.  That's WHEN we often mistake 'NICE' for being 'KIND' WHEN there is world of difference between them.  Because being NICE is quite easy to manifest, a social gesture WHICH we often manifest out of politeness.  BUT to invoke being genuinely KIND, that's a wholly different ball game, dude.  Because it's about empathy, selflessness and geniune care for others. NOT to be nitpicking, HOW can we feel and experience a genuinely KIND soul???

A bit of KINDNESS 101.  As KINDNESS goes beyond just being polite, polite people follow social norms and even etiquette.  And HOW about KIND souls?  YES, they go the XTRA mile.  Genuinely KIND people DON'T just say THANK YOU or PLEASE.  Instead, they genuinely care about the well-being of others and show empathy.  YES, they would strive to understand WHAT others are going through and help in any way they can.  YES, WHAT may NOT be so obvious on the surface is that genuinely KIND people often make sacrifices for others NOT because they expect something in return BUT because it is in their nature to be compassionate and that considerate.  Oh YES, listening from psychologists, KIND souls are always LEARNING, LEARNING about others, LEARNING how to help, LEARNING HOW to change their own lives in order to better serve those around them [p.s. I'm NOT referring to tradpols [traditional politicians], ouch]!@#%?

Our takeaway:  Before our readership will get me wrong, being KIND is NOT always about those grand gestures OR even financial aid.  Sometimes, it can be as simple as giving your time.  In this frenzied world WHERE we live in, we're constantly busy [even for reasons we CAN'T fathom] BUT for now, can we take a pause and consider giving even just a fraction of our time to someone WHO needs it the most as it can be one of the most valuable things you can offer sans the pecuniary OR financial considerations.  YES, let's look back at that Helsinki-Toronto flight, short of 200 packed meals, ending with an extra 200, all because the WINE DRINKERs are really kind-hearted [at least in that flight]💚💛💜

When Is Something NICE May NOT Be That NICE?

 

When Is Something NICE May NOT Be That NICE?  WHICH reminds me of a travel blog we read recently WHERE the HOT topic was Japan.  And we admit that although I had prior travels to Japan, they were all business trips so there's that stark difference if you're on a holiday with your family WHICH we did had it spanning two weeks last year.  And even as we speak now, we WON'T stop blurting out all the positive words about Japan.  BUT recently, I came across insightful sharings from expats WHO have lived in Japan for the longest time, an American WHO's been living there for 18 years and an Indian WHO's been there for 20+ years.  Without mincing words, they blurted that Japan is a NICE place if you're a tourist😡😡😡 

Well said BUT out of respect to the sensitivities, I WON'T delve much as to WHY those two expats in Japan have that kind of insight.  Having said that, I realized that being NICE works well with strangers.  BUT beyond strangers, we are more after the long haul, the long term.  I remember an academician WHO had a PhD student WHO was smart in all the researches BUT was struggling in his comms skills, so he gave the student that frank feedback.  This is a sampling where he was NOT NICE BUT he was kind enough to share him his honest feedback💥💥💥

True, most of us want a NICE romantic partner because a NICE person is expected to be considerable and generally agreeable.  So, WHAT'S NOT LIKE? And indeed, NICENESS in a partner can be that appealing at first, limiting friction and making them easy to be around.  BUT some of that positive behavior comes at a cost of more desirable attributes like genuine kindness OR authenticity, both of WHICH may sometimes struggle to coexist within someone WHO's always busy placing NICE💚💛💜

If at all, experts counsel us to be wary of tell-tale signs that may lead to a potential RED FLAG down the road:

• Trying to CHEER YOU UP - YES it's one thing for someone to care about your well-being and another to have them monitor your mood instantly.  And YES it can be stifling and quite exhausting to feel AS IF a partner always has their finger on the pulse of your emotions
• AVOIDING Conflict - Disagreements and conflicts are difficult so we may appreciate if a partner avoids it BUT just as crops need sunshine and rain, constructive conflict is essential in a health relationship

Our takeaway:  Much as we like NICENESS, the truth is, we'll get more out of our relationships with a 'WHOLE' human being WHO has passions that AREN'T centered to me OR to you.  They can still love you fiercely and also find deep meaning in things that have NOTHING to do with you.  OH YES, with a too-NICE partner, that NICENESS comes at the expense of honesty and let's face it, an honest partner is and will always be our best long-term bet in life as they WON'T shade the truth in ways that make today easy at tomorrow's expense.  Instead, they're willing to be FULLY themselves and want you to be exactly WHO YOU ARE.  That's WHEN SOMETHING NICE MAY NOT BE THAT NICE at all dude😡😡😡

How's Our SELF-IMPROVEMENTS?

 

Does SELF-IMPROVEMENT [still] have a slot in our queue?  Hoping so.  Because per se, I would admit that SELF-IMPROVEMENT [inside out] sounds boring to even spend a second.  WHAT are the ramifications then?  Even without us becoming aware of, many of us unconsiously experience regressing in their respective performances, be it work, in school or even in managing their day-to-day lives.  That explains as to WHY SELF-IMPROVEMENT is hardly a thread to spend time on.  BUT despite the frenetic pace of our daily lives, can we do a PULSE CHECK NOW???

Key challenge in tackling SELF-IMPROVEMENT is that we got to set goals and I'll be the first one to agree that setting goals, anything from getting a university degree OR landing a new job to achieve that next level of our career, is a huge and big step towards SELF-IMPROVEMENT.  BUT following through to achieve WHAT you set out to accomplish can indeed be challenging, especially on those days WHEN motivation seems to be waning.  SO HOW?  HOW can we follow through on the goals we set and reaffirm + reinforce our commitments to it [especially during those days WHEN you DON'T feel doing it]?  True, for whatever factors, everyone of us may lose our motivation, from time to time❎❎❎

Allow me to share HOW I managed to [barely] handle those times WHEN my motivation waned:

• I wrote my goals on paper [yesirrrreeee, I do tap on our smart phone's Notepad as well.
• I intentionally make it a habit to work on my goals.
• I plan and aim for IMPERFECTION [even if frankly, I want every action I perform to be as perfect it can be]
• I 'drilled and dice' so that I got small goals enough to build up the momentum I need to gain.

• Track/monitor your progress consistently
• Embrace those 'peer pressures' around
• Reward yourself NOT just for BIG WINs
• Do some 'mood lifting' [when it's gloomy]
• Practice gratitude.  That really pays off
• Remember your "WHY".  WHY are you doing this and that for you

Our takeaway:  SELF-MOTIVATION seems so easy to come.  WHEN we're offered incentives [call it CARROTs], our MOTIVATION spikes.  WHEN we get promoted to a new job role, MOTIVATION becomes 'matic'.  BUT those are fleeting moments only.  The need to sustain and carry on with your SELF-IMPROVEMENT initiatives has to be consistently reinforced, RAIN or SHINE dude😂😂😂

Do We Need A 'MENTAL SHIFT'?

 

Do we need a MENTAL SHIFT? OR put it this way, WHEN do we need a MENTAL SHIFT?  BUT before we delve into it, let's have a quick alignment.  MENTAL SHIFT is typically understood as that significant change in HOW we, as an individual, perceives the world, approaches challenges and embraces opportunities.  It involves NOT just adopting new ideas BUT also even rewiring our own perspectives [WHICH sometimes can swing like a pendulum from one end to the other extreme end].  And it involves NOT just adopting new ideas, BUT also even 'unlearning' beliefs that seem to be outdated and instead, embracing the future with unqualified curiosity and openess📗📙📘

Our common problem is that we as humans are so heavily conditioned to favor outcomes over process.  WHEN we prepare for a competition, it's all about the ultimate plum, the prize, the reward at the end of it.  And WHEN we get involved in a pursuit OR project, it's all about its successful implementation.  Whew, been there gazillion times, CAN'T deny it.  WHEN we work hard, it's all about getting that promotion.  BUT here's the thing.  The outcome is just a small fraction of the time we spend on completing the task!!!

NOT surprisingly, researches show that about 95% OR more of the time, we seem to be engaged in the process of getting OR achieving that outcome we are so focused and obsessed.  True, in the business world, this is all that matters.  BUT these same researches tell us that having an OUTCOME-focused mindset in our personal lives can have a NEGATIVE effect on our well-being.  And WHEN we subconsciously focus on the end result, we might likely sacrifice the pleasure we could have enjoyed along the way because we tend to focus only on those fleeting moments of achievement right at the end📌📌📌

NOW, the challenge is for us to shift our focus.  IF we shift our mindset to focus on the process, rather than just the achievement itself, we can find enjoyment in almost many of our everyday activities.  Experts tell us that a process-focus is more applicable than WHAT we might expect for our daily routine.  LIKE driving in traffic.  The outcome is for us to get to our destination.  And it's easy to see HOW an outcome focus here can eventually lead to frustrations due to delays [and God knows, road rages happen in traffic gridlock WHEN almost everyone's patience gets pushed to the limits💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  The key here is for us to be able to recognize WHEN a process of an outcome focus is more appropriate.  LIKE if we have deadlines to meet, let's keep an open mind.  LIKE if you're planning to have lunch with a friend, let us focus on the process because by switching between focuses depending on the situation, experts are telling us that by doing so, we can make the most of every moment.  So, let's not shy off if that 'MENTAL SHIFT' will be worth it after all😄😄😄