Why Regret Yesterday And Fear The Next Day?

 

Question:  HOW many times were you regretful of something that happened in the past?  And HOW many times were you worrying about tomorrow, and even that distant future?  Once, I met someone in that dilemma and he told me point blank that his own REGRET were like whirling around and around his mind like a whirlpool threatening to suck him in and later drown him.  I was flabbergasted because he was a poet and during those trying times, he was consistently poetic as he eloquently expressed his innermost struggles into words.  The thing is, ruminations about past indiscretions, OR opportunities NOT taken OR decisions that were poorly arrived at, are remarkably common to most of us

WHICH brings me to remember some of those poetic one-liners like:  MANY OF US CRUCIFY OURSELVES BETWEEN 2 THIEVES, REGRET FOR THE PAST AND FEAR FOR THE FUTURE.  While this quotation has religious references, it is typically stripped of its original Christian connotations EXCEPT WHEN we use it in religious contexts.  Being more theoretical, I am tempted to tag this as our own way of self-sabotaging.  Like thieves, cognitive distortions a about the past and the future would likely steal the joy of the moment and rob us of our appreciation of the present

Out of respect to those WHO we may not share the same religious beliefs, the thing is, we tend to secularize useful ideas with religious origins.  And we can find many such examples in our everyday language LIKE "IT IS NOT SET IN STONE" [which somehow makes reference to that immutable 10 Commandments inscribed on stone OR the 'GOSPEL TRUTH' which invokes the Gospel stories to emphasize the veracity of a statement

WHILE I did have my fair share of missteps [and even blunders in the distant past], regretting the past OR fearing the future were NEVER a part of those missteps OR miscues.  WHY?  In the olden days WHEN technology was NOT that mature, we DIDN'T even know about that UNDO function.  And that was a huge blessing, else that could have egged us to hunger for that UNDO function even in our life lessons.  And fearing the future?  I always reminded myself, WHY should I get hostaged by the future???

Our takeaway:  Much as we all live an imperfect life, we have been harping a zillion times that we should LIVE IN THE PRESENT, LIVE IN THE MOMENT.  WHY?  Because that is the best time for you exert your best efforts for whatever endeavor and pursuit you are focused.  Much as you could have committed a huge blunder yesterday, the least you can do is to LEARN YOUR LESSONS and never to repeat that same mistake come next day again.  And fearing the future?  God knows WHAT's in stock for you in the future.  WHY get so hanged up WHEN the calendar has yet to flip over?  YES dude, live life, LIVE IN THE MOMENT more than yesterday and without being pre-hostaged by the next day that has yet to dawn

Some Of Our Daily Habits Are REWIRING Us

 

YES YES yow, maybe it's time to veer into the health threads as I do observe that some [OR maybe a lot] of our daily habits are slowly REWIRING us.  Oh Oh Oh, we always hear medical experts tell us that our human body is designed to thrive with the right conditions, name it, proper nutrition, regular movement and minimal toxin exposure as these factors create the foundation for our optimal health📗📙📘

However, WHAT we have been hearing instead is that modern lifestyles are working against our basic needs, causing various disruptions at the 'cellular level' of our health.  WHAT's next?  Widespread chronic illness, dependency on prescription drugs, and a health care system that treats symptoms rather than addressing the underlying problems therein.  SO WHAT NEXT?  We are egged to UNDO the damage caused by modern living and return to that kind of lifestyle that supports our overall health💚💛💜

HOW's life these days?  Walk into any grocery store and you'll see shelves lined with products that claim to be 'HEALTHY, NATURAL' and even 'NUTRIENT-PACKED'.  Flip them over and the ingredient lists would tell us a different [and likely] shocking story.  Imagine, foods filled with artificial flavors, preservatives and 'cheap fillers'❌❌❌

This is stating the obvious but allow me to rattle some of these 'horror stories':

• Foods are STRIPPED of nutrients!
• EXCESS sugar is 'hidden' almost anywhere
• Recently, I heard of LINOLEIC ACID [a.k.a. LA] for the first time as it generates toxic byproducts and compounds that cause damage to DNAs, proteins among others

Our takeaway:  Setting aside all these processed foods, one of the biggest threats to our health is a sedentary lifestyle.  A 2024 survey found that one-third of Americans spend at least eight hours a day sitting, whether at a desk, in the car, OR in front the LCD/screen.  And that prolonged inactivity causes our body to deteriorate faster and increases that risk of premature death by up to 30% and worst, NO AMOUNT OF EXERCISE FULLY OFFSETS the damage done by then.  Dude, SOME OF OUR DAILY HABITS ARE REWIRING US❗❗❗

Worrying Does NOT Take Away Tomorrow's Troubles [BUT It Does Take Away Today's PEACE]

 

WORRYING does NOT take away tomorrow's potential problems.  NOT to say that WORRYING is wrong BUT the truth is, it is inimical to our health at the very least.  True, WORRIES we all have them.  In fact, we all deal with them everyday and sometimes right before we hit the sack and even right after we wake up come next morning.  Do we worry about WHAT will happen to us in the future?  These things rob us of our today's PEACE and joy, and we end up losing that singular opportunity to be living in the present.  To put it short and sweet, WORRIES need to either be forgotten OR addressed as needed to put on a plan OR a list.  You might retort:  DO WE REALLY NEED TO PLAN for WORRIES???

In the simplest terms possible, if we WORRY about WHAT we need to get at the grocery store, the simplest approach is to put together a list.  IF we are WORRIED about something that needs to be done around the house, the thing to do is to put on a calendar as WHAT needs to get done OR better create 'reminders' to do the work and forget it for the time being.  Those reminders could be post-it-notes OR even your smartphone notepad OR even enabling the alarm clock if that is warranted.  If it's a complex planning, then clearly write a plan OR list of actions OR steps as that is very key to transition your WORRIES into the plan so you can then move on your life IN THE PRESENT💚💛💜

That is a perennial dilemma for many of us [and I was guilty of that zillions of times before].  BUT the harder part always lies ahead.  That of LETTING go and FINDING PEACE.  I admit that is one of the most difficult things that we can do OR even learn to do.  I've known many people WHO did heed the first step of writing down and coming up with a TO DO-LIST.  BUT after that step, many people do get stuck [as if they do NOT trust themselves] so the very root of the WORRY ISN'T that they have a plan.  The very common root cause of the WORRYING piece is one's lack of trust in their own ability to execute the plan or TO DO-LIST that they drafted [in that first step]💧💧💧

Truth of the matter is that finding time to find PEACE is damn hard in today's world as we tend to surround our own selves with so many things to do, people to talk to, places to go and the worst culprit of all, the incessant 'hostaging' of our own selves by social media.  In the end, we tend to miss the opportunity to be truly spending time to be with our own self, meditate and let time pass.  How many times I heard people complain that their work is stressful.  Next thing I heard, they went to the gym, they went to yoga classes.  BUT I commiserate with them because WHEN I did reconnect with them again, hoping to hear something positive, they admitted they were still worrying of tomorrow's trouble, whew💥💥💥

Our takeaway: I witnessed the sincere intentions of people to clear up their minds and LIVE THE PRESENT by worrying less of tomorrow's troubles BUT pitifully, come next day, come next week, they remain embroiled in that chronic and vicious cycle.  So WHAT's the possible FIX?  Gather all the courage and determination to get over the hump because no one else but yourself can extricate yourself from that chronic and vicious cycle.  And let us agree that WORRYING DOES NOT TAKE AWAY TOMORROW'S TROUBLES [BUT alas, it can TAKE AWAY TODAY's PEACE]❗❗❗

If It's Meant To Be, It Will Be

 

I've witnessed up front several people WHO were so focused to win the top LOTTO prizes so much so that, everyday they would buy and bet.  And as the months and years went through, his LOTTO betting just seemed to escalate as well.  Similarly, I came to know someone WHO got so focused in that raffle promo of a Mercedes Benz car if you'll buy the telco's prepaid load cards.  He ended up splurging in buying that telco's prepaid load cards EVEN IF he had little need for it, if at all.  Until he had to loan for small amounts to defray his excessive purchases of that telco's prepared load cards.  You might ask me.  DID he win that Mercedes Benz car?  DID he win a major LOTTO prize📗📙📘

Swinging over to relationships, we have seen couples whose relationships are hitting rough patches until things exacerbate BUT either protagonist WON'T let go of the other.  BUT dude, if you love something, set it free.  That's borrowing the usual advice from counsellors.  True, that idea of letting something go that you love may sound noble and self-sacrificing BUT HOW does it actually play out in the real world?  Does the adage hold up OR is it just a way of trying to make heartbreaks sound meaningful and poetic?  In a bigger scheme of things, we are told and reminded that the universe has plans for you, for us✅✅✅

Having said that, we DON'T imply that letting go of things ISN'T hard.  IT IS, in fact and in truth.  We become attached to the people in our lives and permitting them to fly can indeed be damn scary.  It is imperative to remember that we can keep caring about them BUT we CAN'T try to control their choices [and eventual decisions especially if we are oblivious of such].  This is where PERFECTION comes into play as well.  And true, TRUST is a big part of releasing PERFECTION and it's TRUST in our own self that life is happening to you and for you.  PERFECTION says 'YOU HAVE TO FORCE, MANAGE and CONTROL YOUR LIFE TO BE HAPPY'💥💥💥

IMPERFECTION tells us that 'YOU DON''T HAVE TO FORCE WHAT'S MEANT FOR YOU'.  You can be yourself and then everything will fall into place just as it should.  You can then be happy.  In the NOT so distant past, PERFECTION, FORCE and CONTROL used to be my 'jam'.  I thought I needed to be PERFECT for things to go 'MY WAY'.  Lo and behold, it turns out that 'MY WAY' ISN'T always WHAT's best for me even in the long haul. I wanted to avoid messing up or mis-stepping so I used PERFECTION to try and control the outcome.  BUT the thing is, IF IT'S MEANT FOR YOU, you CAN'T mess it up.  That goes for relationships, jobs, opportunities, anything and everything in fact💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  In our various pursuits in life, as we aim to achieve something and we pour it out and still fail, expectedly, frustration creeps in.  So, we could get caught up in that vicious cycle of trying and trying our best [WHICH is perfectly fine].  BUT if we keep falling flat on our face, dude, it's time for us to face the mirror and remind our own selves that IF IT'S MEANT TO BE, IT WILL BE.  Otherwise, you could have reached that reckoning point WHERE a forked road needs you to choose and decide between 2 or 3 ways to go.  It just can't be a single-track on an end-to-end basis.  Never forget that you got a foot brake and even a handbrake to pull up, IF and WHEN needed😔😔😔

That "BYSTANDER EFFECT"!

 

That BYSTANDER EFFECT has long been defined in Psychology as a social-psychological phenomenon WHERE individuals are less likely to help a victim in distress WHEN other people are present, WHICH, to quote psychology jargon, it is a phenomenon explained by factors like diffusion of responsibility , pluralistic ignorance [LIKE relying on others' reaction to define a situation] and audience inhibition [LIKE that fear of negative judgment].  WHAT that means is that in a group, people may assume someone else will help OR interpret the situation as NOT an emergency because others are NOT reacting.  Ouch!@#$%?

NOT to be cynical BUT many times in these recent times, I did bear witness to incidents WHERE it ended tragically WHILE the people aware and present around were holding on to their smartphones and taking videos and picture of an imminent tragedy about to happen anytime soon.  It would be an understatement if I'll exclaim that I have always been aghast WHEN I would come across situations like this [WHICH, instead of evolving towards rectifying misses, it's becoming more of a widespread acceptance and practice across communities, countries and cultures.  Last week in Malaysia, a couple was arrested for the drowning of their children WHO got drowned while inside their car parked at the bank of a river.  Yesterday in the Philippines, 2 siblings got drowned WHILE the rest were taking video of their imminent tragic end, ouch😡😡😡

Experts noted that generally, people often hesitate to respond WHEN a situation feels ambiguous, a key feature of that BYSTANDER EFFECT.  Such manifestation of HESITATION almost always pops-up in various tragic stories across the globe.  In crime scenes, the BYSTANDER EFFECT occurs WHEN the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation, example, against a bully OR during an assault OR other crime scenarios❌❌❌

Shocking results of researches showed that the greater the number of bystanders, the LESS LIKELY it is for any one of them to provide help to a person in distress and people are more likely to take action in a crisis WHEN there are few OR no other witnesses present.  Psychologist attributed these human behaviors to our perceived DIFFUSION OF RESPONSIBILITY WHEREIN the more onlookers there are, the less personal responsibility individuals will feel to take action😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  WHILE it is just natural for people to sort of 'FREEZE' OR go in that 'state of shock' WHEN seeing someone having an emergency OR being attacked, experts opine that that is our RESPONSE TO FEAR, the FEAR that we are too weak to help OR that we might misunderstand the context and seeing a threat WHERE there is none, OR even that intervening will put your own life at risk.  That BYSTANDER EFFECT!!!

Those NOT So 'DIRTY TRICKS' [For Travel & Hotel Bookings]

 

The best time for our annual long-haul travels and holidays is NOT yet around the corner BUT for the meantime, as I was browsing for hotel bookings the past two days, I thought I should learn some lessons I did learn arising from my countless times WHERE I think I have spent quite a big chunk of time [e.g. for our Japan holidays last year], I spent the period from January to June and admittedly, as early as five months before our planned holidays, I kept blocking off bookings both for our hotel and flights [and cancelled those bookings WHEN a better option came into my endless searches]😁😁😁

BUT how many times you were browsing and then the online apps alerts you that a dozen other customers are NOW looking into that same hotel room you're looking at?  The implication there is a dozen customers also sitting at their computers OR devices about to click BUY and 'STEAL' that booking away from under you.  SERIOUSLY?  That trick is called "SOCIAL PROOF", that technique used in sales that leverages our desire for communal validation to push us to finally click that BOOK & BUY, pronto at that😓😓😓

BUT again, there's NO way to know IF there are actually dozens OR hundreds of people looking at exactly that same flight OR hotel booking you're glued at that moment.  Either way, it's there just to pressure you into clicking that BOOK & BUY button, locking you in.  BUT these deceptive practices DON'T end there.  There is a deceiving technique called 'DECEPTIVE SCARCITY' and that happened to me many times WHEN I was piecing together my holiday itinerary and then I get prompted that thare are only 2 SEATS LEFT.  SERIOUSLY?  That's quite a bad joke😡😡😡

You might reasonably assume that this means only 2 SEATS LEFT on that flight and you'll end up scrambling to find a different flight unless you decide immediately [OH YES, often that comes with a combined TIMER counting down the minutes that you can hold those tickets.  Combined with the constant fluctuation of the ticket OR rate pricings as the capacity and demand change, this can PUSH you to click BOOK & BUY even prematurely, ouch❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Those 'TRICKs' DON'T end there.  Even 'CHECK-IN' fees get into the picture WHEN you would assume that if you want to check-in for your flight, OR have a printed boarding pass instead of a barcode displayed on your phone, that may be NO big deal BUT some airlines would charge you a fee.  And for some airlines, if you DON'T check-in early enough [at least 2 hours before your flight], there are FEES 'BURIED' deep in the fine print and FAQs.  So, next time you plan your holidays and travel, be aware of these so called 'TRICKS' dude💥💥💥

Nature Versus Nurture: Take Your Pick

 

For today, can we pick our brains more as an exercise?  And I thought that WHILE  NATURE and NURTURE CAN'T be an apples-to-apples, I thought we can still make do with it from the perspective of GROWTH.  So, the question to us is this:  Would you rather things will grow like NATURE?  OR would you rather NURTURE things to grow even in an organic OR exponential way?  To pre-empt you, let me shout out that I prefer NURTURING💚💛💜

You might challenge me, WHY NURTURE if things can grow either organically like NATURE?  I'll quip that WHERE we were born because of NATURE, WHAT we will become has to be attributed to NURTURING.  Through the years, the silent debate has been raging in the labworks of researchers BUT to put things in perspective, NATURE and NURTURE both play a role in WHO we are WHILE the interplay between NATURE and NURTURE will remain influential💥💥💥

On the other hand, there is a huge disconnect I've witnessed many times through the years WHEN people would rely on NATURE to takes its course for things to evolve.  WHICH is a super huge disconnect there because it becomes akin to us leaving things AS IS for us to do nothing from thereon except for things to evolve and progress as we want it to me.  WHERE does our role come into play then❓❓❓

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One example of WHEN the argument of NATURE versus NURTURE arises is WHEN a person achieves a high level of academic success.  Another sort of boring example is that 'perfect pitch' of a musical tone and researches showed that that ability tends to run in families and as such, it could be tied to a single gene.  BUT the studies also showed that possessing that gene is NOT enough as musical training during early childhood is needed for that inherited ability to manifest itself over time.  Same with height which can be inherited BUT if the child grows in a deprived environment, he may NOT grow taller❎❎❎

Our takeaway is plainly simple.  Let's peg nature to that planted seed BUT from that point onwards, that planted seed needs to be NURTURED.  On the same breadth, there are numerous things we are gifted by NATURE BUT there lies that innate responsibility for us to own the NURTURING part so that whatever nature has invested in us will continue to grow and evolve.  Enough of us being parasites of NATURE WHEN that's uncalled for dude😡😡😡

Is The Needle Tilting In Your Favor?

 

Much as digitalization is happening everywhere [YES, even in religious places of worship], if there is one domain digitalization will be hard pressed to crack is that need to WEIGH THE BALANCE between the PROs and CONs.  That's WHEN we are caught in the crossroads [especially those FORKED ones] WHERE we have NO recourse BUT to come up with a decision, one way OR the other.  Then that's the right time ripe for us to ask ourselves this $64 question:  Is The Needle Tilting In Your Favor?  Otherwise, you got to give it a pass📗📙📘

Verily true, there are two ways to go about life.  You can go and work forward towards achieving the future you envision for yourself OR you can spend your life seated under the immense sheets of skies waiting for it somehow come around you, in your favor, at your advantage without lifting a finger.  So, seriously, are you really waiting for the STARS TO ALIGN?  LIKE WHEN the NEEDLE IS TILTING IN YOUR FAVOR?  Oooops, WHATEVER your answer is to this question, that can be really crucial💚💛💜

To be frank, your answer to that frank question could be the difference between getting stalled OR stuck and 'stagnant' till you grow old versus OR you can end up wise enough, on track until you can affirm that you've carved your name for that success story.  Here's the catch though.  It's only YOU WHO can call the shots [NO proxies, NO reps]💧💧💧

Very obviously, once you perceive the needle to be tilting in your favor, that should tell you to 'hustle your way' after those goals and things you're aiming for, hustling to one day waking up being and becoming that person you really wanted to be.  BUT here's the catch though.  Life DOESN'T boil down as to HOW much you hustle as you're the only one capable of ALIGNING THE STARS and creating the future you deserve.  So, are you still waiting for the STARS TO ALIGN!@#$%?  IF you're simply acting and reacting to the world around you, you could be waiting for things out of your control❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Very frankly, WAITING means you are WAITING for something that may NEVER come OR happen as you act and react with NO boundaries, WITHOUT purpose and WITHOUT protecting WHO you so wish you could be.  The most frustrating words I heard the past years:  MY TIME HAS YET TO COME or I'LL  WAIT FOR THAT POSITION TO BECOME VACANT.  IS THE NEEDLE TILTING IN YOUR FAVOR😡😡😡

No Less Than Her Parent Advised Her: DREAM LESS

 

A month ago in Channelnewsasia, 08.12.2025, Filipina F1 car racer driver BIANCA BUSTAMANTE was featured.  NOT because of anything else BUT it is her remarkable climb, clawing slowly up up and up until she can achieve each of her pre-set 'mini' success milestones.  Allow me to paste here EN TOTO the Channelnewsasia piece.  QUOTE  No one expected her to make it this far. Manila-born Bianca Bustamante opens up about breaking barriers as the first female in the McLaren Driver Development Programme and what it means to fly the Asian flag in international motor racing💥💥💥

It’s your typical Asian family origin story – parents want their kid to study hard, become a doctor and have a stable, high-paying career. Here’s the plot twist: Kid doesn’t believe in taking the conventional path but decides to believe in herself from the moment she sits in a go-kart at age three instead.  In 2024, that self-belief culminated in Bianca Bustamante making history as the first female driver ever selected for McLaren’s Driver Development Programme.  “No one expected me to make it this far; not a little girl from the Philippines who came from a very middle-class family,” Bustamante shared via video call from her home in the UK where she is now based.

Historically, the world of motor racing is notoriously known for being accessible only to those who come from prodigious privilege and the sort of pedigree afforded by favourable parentage. It takes a tremendous amount of investment to hone a child’s driving skill starting in karting. Add to that the necessary travels to competitions around the world in the hopes of them developing sufficient proficiency to even get a shot at the big leagues.

“It's a very expensive sport that's often reserved for people with money,” Bustamante acknowledged. “So for me to make a career for myself in racing and travel the world, no one expected that, not even my own family. To be honest, I was told by family members to dream less,” she confided with nary a trace of resentment or bitterness.  In fact, the only moment Bustamante’s equanimity wavers ever so slightly during our hour-long chat is when she recounts how her father had often juggled three jobs to support her racing career in the early days UNQUOTE💚💛💜

Our KEY takeaway here is that, regardless of all the MOTIVATIONS coming from all quarters, WHAT matters most is our MOTIVATIONS from within.  Even WHEN Bianca was advised [NO LESS by her mom] to 'DREAM LESS', she NEVER heeded that advice BUT instead, went for 'full throttle'.  As we speak now, Bianca is a legitimate member of the UK-based McLaren development team, inching her way UP UP and UP🏆🏆🏆

When The Walls Are Closing In...

 

How often do we feel THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN?  NOT so often I guess.  That did happen to me quite a few times in the past, so you might ask, WHAT was it like?  My curt reply:  I ready to run for my life and into my bunker, whew!  If we all share something in recent memory, I guess that was recently WHEN we all got hit with the Covid-19 pandemic WHEN we felt like the walls of our own homes were closing in on us.  As for myself, WHEN that feeling hovered over me, I knew I wanted to extricate myself out of the situation.  BUT I asked myself, WHERE do I seek refuge?  Unlike Israel WHOSE physical infrastructures have robust bunkers, I DIDN'T had one📗📙📘

In a typical situation, WHEN we feel trapped OR confined indoors, a walk outside usually helps.  NOT only do we want fresh air BUT we tend to be looking at different things as well.  Like a CHANGE of SCENERY can help WHEN you feel like the walls are closing in.  This gets more relatable in relationships, be it at work, at home OR with your 'bonafide' friends [and NOT just Facebook friends😑😑😑].  In the real world, those WALLS are those lingering in our minds 

At the workplace, one typical scenario is WHEN one feels stuck OR stalled as he's NOT progressing up the ladder, one could feel the WALLS have closed in.  LIKE WHEN people find themselves in a quite restrictive relationship with someone WHO seems to be having a tight rein and controlling the other party, it may feel like the WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.  SO HOW?  In one word, EXTRICATE yourself out of that situation BUT unfortunately, EXTRICATING requires you to take a deep stock of things💥💥💥

In those scenarios, a 'CHANGE OF SCENERY' is NOT found outside in the woods.  Instead, the change of scenery could be a new job or getting out of a relationship [and YES, creating a new one as well].  A safe synonym is that of being CLAUSTROPHOBIC because that's WHEN we feel the walls closing in on us.  Worst thing is WHEN the walls of anxiety are CLOSING IN.  That is a tough one to cope with😕😕😕

Our takeaway:  Knock on wood, unless something springs out a very tragic turn of events, generally in life, those WALLS WON'T be instantly closing in on you, on us.  Way prior to that, we must be sharp and incisive enough to discern and detect tell-tale signs that the walls are slowly showing signs of a 'rickety' state.  In a worst case scenario, it is to our best interest that we should NOT be a step late by more than one [step] BEFORE THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN❗❗❗