If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!

If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!

Noted Liberian politician and economist Ellen Sirleaf has been bestowed of the best ever global recognitions one can dream of, name it, being the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient and the 2013 Indira Gandhi Prize and that's beside being listed as the 83rd most powerful woman in the world by Forbes magazine.  BUT If I remember her most, it's for this insightful and reawakening quote ever:  If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!  If this DOESN'T floor you, that means something else which we leave it up to you then📗📙📘

To piggy-back on that one-liner, Ellen Sirleaf goes farther:  THE SIZE OF YOUR DREAMS MUST ALWAYS EXCEED YOUR CURRENT CAPACITY TO ACHIEVE THEM.  To me, this defies both logic and even pragmatism because all along, we are coached and mentored to do things which we are capable of.  Before you demand a MEA CULPA from me, please DON'T mix-up  the TO-DO things versus your DREAMS💦💦💦

WHAT this tells us is to emulate the success stories we all heard of anyway.  Name it, from Bill Gates to Elon Musk to Jeff Bezos, there's already an overflow of success stories to peruse.  At the onset, the commonality between these moguls is the fact that WHEN they started to DREAM [real] BIG, it was way beyond their capacity and capabilities.  Jeff Bezos and his wife started working right on their garage.  Elon Musk was a school dropout WHO had to seek a loan to start off things😂😂😂

Even Muhammad Ali, the loquacious but famous and respected world boxing champion is well quoted on this as well.  WHAT motivated him to pursue his dreams was the scary fact he admitted that his dreams of becoming a long-tenured world champion was scary to say the least.  BUT rather end up as dejected and demotivated, it became the very catalyst that drove him to full throttle to push himself to the limits [WHAT with those well publicized punishing training regimens he had to go through if only to push himself WAY BEYOND his capabilities].  NOT to belittle dreams like, to be an accountant, to be a corporate worker, to be a retail business owner, BUT again, to piggy-back on that refrain, IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU, it will be safe to conclude that those DREAMS AREN'T BIG ENOUGH❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  By default, goal-setting is an invincible BUT permanent tenant within us.  IF you have NO idea WHERE you're going, you're NEVER going to get there, promise.  However, these audacious personal goals will help to mold us to become a more holistic person and eventually a leader either at work OR in life as an individual, a partner/spouse and parent at home.  In short, your goals should be audacious at the very least.  Ellen Sirleaf, the Liberian politician [who served as its President from 2006 to 2018] faced prison, death threats and exile .  YET, she NEVER gave up on her dreams to improve her nation in the face of all the overwhelming number of naysayers and setbacks.  Rolling back to your own personal life, your situation is NOT far from different because we all live parallel lives, with parallel roads.  IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU, THEY ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH❗❗❗

Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE?

Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE?

I remember going through the transcripts of a recent media interview of Elon Musk WHERE he admitted that he works for hours and will call it a day ONLY after he completes WHAT he needs to take action [with RESULTS to boot].  My reaction to that was:  Is he NOT sacrificing his health if he ends up sleeping less than seven hours most of the days?  Does the end justify the means?  If so, Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE📗📙📘

Just last year, we started plotting a 2-week holiday WHICH we expected to be grueling [if NOT punishing] as it will radically depart from our previous holidays WHICH which used to last up to a week.  To make things really that challenging, reviews told us that we should expect to walk approximately 30,000 steps everyday at the very least [that almost floored me because in our daily morning walks, rarely do we hit 10,000 steps].  BUT we asked ourselves.  ARE WE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE?  So, for the preceding months, we intensified our daily morning walks if only to ensure that we are 'near ready'  for that grueling sked😌😌😌

True, many people do consider the PRICE TO PAY to achieve success.  BUT as success has shown us, it has two costs, namely:  The PRICE to achieve success and the PRICE you pay after achieving success.  Been there, done that.  After I took that quantum leap by taking a super-duper major risk of trying my luck in Singapore [WHEN rarely it was tried by the majority], I [wrongly] thought that once I achieved success, that's the end point.  BUT I was grossly wrong then!!!

On the other hand, identifying the HIDDEN COSTS of success could allow us to even avoid succeeding at something that makes things miserable to us.  Call it BUYER'S REMORSE.  It's something we've all experienced at some point in our lives.  It happens WHEN reality DOESN'T meet our own expectations.  That's WHEN the thing we thought we wanted DOESN'T actually bring satisfaction OR happiness we thought it would.  BUT it DOESN'T just happen over a pair of expensive shoes, a fancy car or the latest iPhone model.  BUYER'S REMORSE can also happen even WHEN we achieved success.  Because it's NOT just the price we pay to achieve success BUT it includes that price we need to pay AFTER achieving success💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHAT gets clouded in this mini-dissertation is that sometimes, success can lead us to nightmares.  BUT one person's nightmare is another person's dream.  BUT should we ask ourselves "DO I WANT THE SUCCESSFUL VERSION" of where I want to be?  That could help us think through whether the path we're on is leading us to a destination we actually want because it's easy to focus on the prestige of 'ARRIVING' but lose sight of WHAT the day-to-day reality of success looks like.  ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE, dude???

How's Your Narrative?

How's Your Narrative?

If there is NO escaping [even if you are a Houdini clone] in life, it is the fact that we will have our own respective NARRATIVES [because that's a given].  How's Your Narrative?  WHAT's regrettable though is that many of us still think that, that NARRATIVE is the least of our concerns because it will play out by itself.  WHICH is absolutely true BUT WHAT we're missing is that we have that singular influence to craft and shape our NARRATIVE📗📙📘

IF we wasted every opportunity, IF we squandered every resource we had, IF we burned all the bridges in our life, YES you will still have your NARRATIVE but does it take any effort to speculate the kind of stuff in that NARRATIVE?  Should be almost effortless because everything will be spread out across the floor.  The next inquisitive question is:  Can we UNDO and REDO things all over again, if you want to polish off [OR even window-dress] your NARRATIVE?  Likely NOT dude because those opportunities did knock on your door [BUT too bad they WON'T knock for the 2rd or 3rd time at all]💧💧💧

We've witnessed fortunate people born with a silver spoon on their mouth.  Obviously, that gives them a significant head start in life.  And it's guaranteed that their NARRATIVE will start with nothing less than POSITIVITIES given all those circumstances.  BUT WHAT CAN'T be assured at all is that that narrative will play out similarly as its Chapter I did play out.  WHY?  Because each subsequent phase CAN'T be replicated💥💥💥

BUT WHY is it many do get caught up with this punishing conundrum?  Simple explanation is that very hardly the value of our very own NARRATIVE was given impetus at all.  Many will retort, like:  IT IS WHAT IT IS.  True BUT if I may challenge such retort, we would be squandering that chance to influence and shape our NARRATIVE even an effort that is as minor as it can be.  As studies did prove over time, the divide between SUCCESS and FAILURE would spread [on average] by a few percentage points.  And that's even happening in the U.S. presidential elections through the years [even as we speak now]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  To be poetic about NARRATIVES, the form echoes in structure the thematic search in the NARRATIVE for something deep, profound at the very core of the NARRATIVE.  Window-dress?  YES you can but that square peg on a round hole will still surface because it just CAN'T be neatly mapped with the flow of your NARRATIVE.  HOW many times I heard people that they will GIVE IT ALL at the last mile, at the homestretch, which is laudable enough.  BUT WHAT IF right before the homestretch, you were gasping for air and eating dust from the lead pack?  HOW many HAIL MARYs you need to pray to turnaround your NARRATIVE by then?  You CAN'T pull a Houdini act dude😃😃😃

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

Akin to exercise, meditation and even budgeting, Setting Boundaries is our most common YET unseen challenge in our every day life.  YET, it's a reality we need to face and take action, one way OR the other.  Even so, finding the time to change any of our unhealthy behaviors, learn and build new habits is easier said than done.  However, WHEN reality kicks in, SETTING BOUNDARIES is easier said than done📗📙📘

Truth is, SETTING BOUNDARIES is inevitable.  Between home and work, business and personal, friendship and business, financials and non-financials, academics and co-curricular, socials and civic engagements, counselling and discipline, these are the most common areas in our daily life where SETTING BOUNDARIES is a must do.  WHAT IF we ignore SETTING BOUNDARIES?  YES YOU MAY but brace yourself for the ramifications!@#$%?

WHAT we often miss out here is that understanding HOW to SET BOUNDARIES [a.k.a. setting personal limits] is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.  Very recently, a colleague was about to leave our organization and in her last days of employ, she sent me an SMS borrowing a 'sum of money' for reasons I will not divulge here.  BUT I realized one thing, there was NO BOUNDARY that moment💥💥💥

It's true almost everyone know what 'BOUNDARIES' mean BUT quite a number DON'T have an idea WHAT they are, seriously.  True, literally speaking, BOUNDARIES are like property lines BUT in life, BOUNDARIES are NOT rigid lines drawn in the sand that are clear for all to see.  BOUNDARIES are a way to take care of ourselves.  WHEN we understand HOW to set and maintain healthy BOUNDARIES, we can likely avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger that may build up WHEN limits are pushed❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Before I get misunderstood whether I'm more for loose OR open BOUNDARIES, let's be 'spot on' for these tell-tale signs we're off-track:

• IF we get too involved with others' problems?
• IF we can't say NO to others' requests?
• IF we 'overshare' personal info [like in social media]?
• IF we seek to please others for fear of rejection?

In a nutshell, BOUNDARIES are healthy for helping you to identify and keep that space you deserve❗❗❗

Scarier DEEPFAKEs!

 

Do you need to be a DEEPFAKE expert to validate the authenticity of this picture?  NO sirrrrs, you can be a school grader BUT surely you can safely conclude that this is another DEEPFAKE simply because it is impossible for these personalities to be standing behind the official rostrum of U.S. President Donald Trump.  BUT otherwise, can every Tom, Dick and Harry be in the best position to validate all the possible DEEPFAKEs scattered all over social media!!!

Now, as DEEPFAKES become more convincing, there is now a growing risk of losing trust in digital content.  People may then become skeptical of the authenticities [except for the 'blind' followers and fanatics of personalities all over us].  Think about this, though.  The growth of DEEPFAKE material has been exponential with statistics showing that DEEPFAKEs online are doubling every six months❌❌❌

The scariest part of these unfortunate implications of DEEPFAKE is that it poses significant challenges to our society, from showbiz to politics to business.  Just to encapsulate the current impact to us all:

• POLITICAL MANIPULATION - DEEPFAKES have already disrupted political landscapes everywhere
• MISINFORMATION & FAKE NEWS - If there's a percentage of FAKE NEWS, will that make me believe more every BREAKING NEWS from hereon?

• PRIVACY CONCERNS - This is scarier because DEEPFAKES can be used for harmful purposes, like creating FAKE content featuring individuals WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT
• IMPACT to BUSINESS - YES, even the business world is NOT exempt from DEEPFAKES.  Think of possibilities like CEO impersonation to creation of fraudulent content

Our takeaway:  NOT to be an alarmist BUT what this subtly reminds us is to be Xtra careful, Xtra cautious and Xtra skeptical, if needed, WHEN persons OR entities you CAN'T trust enough will request for your personal information.  BTW, there are a thousand and one possibilities of a ruse scammers can come up for you to fall prey to these sinister DEEPFAKES💥💥💥

That Unwillingness To CHANGE!

That Unwillingness To CHANGE!

Two nights ago, I was having a casual exchange of thoughts with a US-based HR executive and frankly I told her that if you've got ten people in your team, you've got to have ten different management styles [that's AT THE VERY LEAST, excluding that need to iterate when even one person manifests his own 'chameleon' versions].   And if you're introducing CHANGE, you can have one hell of a ballgame.  That Unwillingness To CHANGE!!!

Personally, I have witnessed on first-hand basis, battalions of up-and-coming aspiring leaders [be it in the corporate world OR even in business] BUT sadly, I've seen a big chunk of them falling flat and failing in their aspirations.  My prognosis?  Many of them were pushing for a CHANGE proposition BUT seemingly started things on the wrong foot WHEN they thought that since they themselves were the executive sponsor of that CHANGE, it will roll out as easy the rolling dice at The Strip [in Las Vegas]😖😖😖

BUT what else an aspiring leader can do WHEN faced with an ubiquitous resistance?  Fact here is that resistance to CHANGE manifests itself in multifarious ways [sometimes it's like countless] starting from foot-dragging and inertia to petty sabotage to even an outright mutiny [OR even a 'rebellion'].  WHERE's the shortfall here?  This leads us to roll-in by combining the best of both worlds, of being tactical and strategic💧💧💧

One answer to this loops of chronic resistance is that it comes with age.  The old cliche teaches us that it is much easier to bend a young bamboo shoot rather than attempting to straighten a bended oak tree.  BUT for purposes of our thread, let's exclude that variable as an outlier.  And the thing is, there is NO such thing as standing STILL in life.  And bluntly, IF you're NOT moving forward, you're ACTUALLY moving backward!@#$%? So, indeed it's quite baffling HOW some people seem to identify a problem in their lives then they decide to CHANGE something from within themselves WHEREAS others DON'T seem to be able to take real positive steps like that✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  I've seen this over and over again.  Some folks seem to stay STUCK [reminds me of Lionel Richie's "STUCK ON YOU" hit] NO matter HOW hard they try.  Some will even reach out for self-help measures, even talking to friends and family and even go to therapy BUT their issues remain unresolved.  And it's even MORE painful WHEN it's YOU and YOU are watching yourself live that way.  NO QUICK FIX but consider these:

• SEE THAT CLEAR PATH - There's NO other way here.
• ARE YOU WALLED OFF - Tear down those walls ASAP
• ARE YOU COMFORTABLY UNCOMFORTABLE - damn it

Accept Everything In Life!

Accept Everything In Life!

If I were a salesman and I'll pitch our thread on hand today, I'll admit it's a tough call to make, a tough job to commit to.  WHY?  Because to blurt out ACCEPT EVERYTHING JUST THE WAY IT IS, that is easier said than done at all.  BUT if we think about it, ACCEPTING DOESN'T mean giving up BUT improving and learning to be better.  Because in the first place, HOW can you face the world if you CAN'T face your own self?  OR you CAN'T control yourself?  True, at times, we're down and demotivated💥💥💥

It happens many times in life, n the midst of turmoil, we would even question WHY did we end up facing those challenges and crises.  DO I DESERVE IT, really?  ACCEPTANCE grounds you in WHAT is true, WHERE you have to start for any true effectiveness, happiness and eventually healing.  Can we recognize WHAT we are NOT accepting?  That recognition could be the most common things in life, including the way our body and health is changing, aligned with age, then couple that with our cases of upsets with others that AREN'T healing, past failures, OR NOT having enough$$$ 

Now, for the hardest part, some of the losses we suffer and endure in life are irreversible.  Either THAT person, THAT moment, THAT opportunity would never be coming back, WHATEVER happens.  Perhaps, you turned a corner recently and NOW you wish you've turned the other way?  Psychologists claim that in their studies, it has been shown that often, WHAT blocks us from ACCEPTING a condition is WHAT you did experience if [ONLY] you accepted the condition.  To ACCEPT that experience, try to step back and endeavor to witness it instead💧💧💧

It's true some exceptions in life are indeed painful.  And here's WHAT the experts counsel us.  If it's that painful, do TOUCH IT AND LET IT GO.  Take your time, and take breaks if you need to.  We are also advised to notice the ways we DON'T accept some specific things in life.  Any kind of anger OR righteousness is usually a clue.  YES, you can be discerning, persuasive OR consequential regarding someone WITHOUT tipping into struggling with him OR her❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Can we consider to lowering our standards for others WHILE raising the bar for our own selves?  DON'T get me wrong it, though.  I DON'T mean being more critical of our own self BUT instead rather, being less critical of others and more focused on raising our own level of well-being and functioning.  It's easy to ACCEPT beautiful sunsets and golden prizes and it's the hard things that are hard to ACCEPT.  BUT can we ACCEPT EVERYTHING IN LIFE, if only to give that a fair chance, dude???

How Often We Cause Our Own Problem?

How Often We Cause Our Own Problem?

We live in a world of problems, right dude?  Surely we will hue to that observation simply because there's a deluge of problems everywhere, regardless if your periphery is somewhere the Middle East, OR Europe OR somewhere the Americas OR even across Asia-Pacific.  Yessssirrrrs, our lives are filled with many challenges.  All of us struggle with our respective personal problems, name it, STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SELF-DOUBT, ADDICTION and those endless worries related to our health, finances and even the distant future.  So, How Often [REALLY] We Cause Our Own Problem???

Our relationships with our spouse/partner, immediate family, and even other family members are often riddled with conflict and our relationships with our friends, neighbors, bosses and even co-workers are [sometimes] challenging as well.  YES, society heaps on additional concerns in the form of crime, violence, economic problems, prejudice, political discord, terrorism and even environmental issues [heard about our global warming woes?].  True, almost all of these problems are NOT that simple enough and sometimes their solutions remain elusive to say the least💧💧💧

BUT hey, would you agree if we say that for the most part, a huge big chunk of those problems are caused [OR to be blunt about it, CREATED] by us, human beings.  Most of the problems we face, within ourselves, in our relationships with other people and in society, are caused by people.  Granted a few problems DON'T require human collusion [think about those typhoons, tsunamis and earthquakes], BUT most do.  Human behavior is by far the single largest cause of our difficulties that each of us experience in life.  Let's put it this way:  MOST PROBLEMS ARE PEOPLE PROBLEMS and the people WHO cause the problems are quite often, US!@#$%

There lies the hitherto unknown paradox about human nature.  On one hand, human beings have used their intelligence, creativity and ability to work together, collaborating in groups to improve life dramatically through technology and science [and even via those platforms in education and heath care].  BUT on the other hand, let's face it,  human beings also behave in highly questionable adaptive ways that tend to create a slew of social, relational OR personal problems either for themselves OR to others. So, HOW can we be so intelligent and effective and YET also so dysfunctional?  WHAT is wrong with us, dude???

Our takeaway:  True, naturally, we all focus mostly on ourselves and our own lives and we tend to view the world mostly from just our own perspective.  Sadly, sometimes, we view things that way either intentionally out of sheet habits that evolve into our persona.   So, WHY is it most of us are more preoccupied with our own selves than it is needed?  And when excessive self-centeredness creeps, that is enough recipe for us to CAUSE OUR OWN PROBLEMS😗😗😗

Do We Go For The URGENT One? Or The IMPORTANT One?

Do We Go For The URGENT One?  Or The IMPORTANT One?

Yessirrrrrrs, there's a very huge gap that separates the URGENT ones versus the IMPORTANT ones.  So, Do We Go For The URGENT One?  Or The IMPORTANT One?  The late U.S. President Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower was well quoted when he quipped:  I HAVE TWO KINDS OF PROBLEMS:  THE URGENT AND THE IMPORTANT.  THE URGENT ARE NOT IMPORTANT AND THE IMPORTANT ARE NOT URGENT, whew!!!

Very true, there is that HUGE difference between the IMPORTANT versus the URGENT ones at hand any day.  Now, let's dice and drill here.  URGENT ones are always focused on the present moment, like they need attention RIGHT NOW and if they are NOT dealt with, the consequences also happen RIGHT NOW.  On the other hand, IMPORTANT ones belong to the long-term goals and items more of strategic value .  They are slower, connected to a 'long game' of personal OR professional development💧💧💧

Truth is, we tend to give our attention to URGENT tasks at the expense of IMPORTANT tasks.  URGENT tasks come in HOT into our inboxes and 'scream loudly' for resolution and they have always been tagged as the 'LATEST and LOUDEST'.  They are almost always someone else's problem, given to us on a short notice and that amplifies the volume.  So naturally, we tend to focus on those first.  YES, sometimes, that is the right thing to do BUT it does become a serious problem WHEN we are only dealing with the URGENT and NOT giving adequate time to the IMPORTANT things that sit there, quietly and patiently😊😊😊

Through the years at work managing operations and delivery teams, every member was driven by SLA's [service level agreements].  That's on the assumption that every single ticket initiated by our clients was both URGENT + IMPORTANT.  But the $64 question is, are each of those raised tickets REALLY URGENT + IMPORTANT?  Based on the years of experience behind me, I think that that assumption is so off-track because, culling from my first-hand experiences, easily 30% may be either URGENT or IMPORTANT but 100% CAN'T be both URGENT + IMPORTANT!!!

Our takeaway:  DON'T look so far away and DON'T turn simple circumstances into complex ones.  Instead, can we consider [and embrace this Eisenhower Matrix] which divides all tasks across flur [4] quadrants.  And WHAT's eye-opening here is that we are being encouraged to dump OR ignore anything that is NOT both URGENT + IMPORTANT.  Instead, what this quadrant tells us that in 3 out 4 scenarios, we can still pursue that task by either DOING, PLANNING or DELEGATING tasks.  So, DO WE GO FOR THE URGENT ONE?  OR THE IMPORTANT ONE?  OR BOTH???

When In Deep Water, Where's Your Lifeline?

When In Deep Water, Where's Your Lifeline?

When In Deep Water, Where's Your Lifeline?  Tough call to make BUT the harsh reality in life is that any survival situation will quickly tell you WHO YOU ARE.  WHETHER it is losing a loved one to being diagnosed with a long-term illness, OR being in 'close shaves' with death, those experiences and life events can be deadly OR profound depending on HOW we react to them.  True, most people react with fear and emotional response rather than their cognitive reason, survival skills OR intuition📗📙📘

This is quite a surprising outcome from a recent research by U.S. psychologists WHOSE studies showed that only around 10 to 20 percent of untrained people can stay calm and think in the midst of a survival emergency.  So, that led me wondering, HOW are the majority of us reacting during the non-emergency situations IF we CAN'T keep calm WHEN our life depends on it???  Now, psychologists counsel us to believe that anything is possible.  As they say, THINGS THAT HAVE NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.  Let's take that both for the good and the bad, to inject a balanced perspective.  On the intangibles, we are advised to STAY HUMBLE.  One old quote says:  EVERY TIME YOU STEP INTO A RIVER, IT'S A DIFFERENT RIVER. In short, we need to remember that we are NOT a master NO MATTER how much experience we have.  Got to LEARN and RELEARN!!!

Oh yes, this rings a bell.  We are encouraged to be ADAPTABLE.  Besides being organized, let's create and craft our goals, plot our game plan, BUT dude, let's NOT 'worship it'.  We are warned NOT to 'fall in love' even with our own game plan BUT instead, let us be flexible and never loose that 'BEGINNER's' mindset and be able to remap our plan over and over again, if need be.  As they say, THOSE WHO AVOID ACCIDENTS ARE THOSE WHO SEE THE WORLD CLEARLY😌😌😌

Oh yes, we are advised to STAY CALM [even if we get caught right at the eye of the storm].  One recurring post-mortem of our human behaviors after emergencies show that stress and paranoia are useless to the mind and instead, can even cause that crippling effect, kind of paralyzing you, literally speaking, during those 'emergency' moments.  BUT that DOESN'T fix things when we're in DEEP WATER❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Before anything else gets us waylaid, first and foremost, let us take care of our own selves.  We are responsible ONLY for our own self.  We've got families and loved ones BUT the fact is no one is going to rescue you BUT yourself.  You CAN'T count on others [as much as your loved ones and family want to].  And to cap it all, let us LISTEN to our GUT, always.  Having intuition over impulse can save you WHEN you need it most dude.  So, WHEN IN DEEP WATER, WHERE'S YOUR LIFELINE???