That Gap Between SUCCESS And FAILURE

That Gap Between SUCCESS And FAILURE

So sorry for this boring breaking news:  It is NOT a fact that there is a HUGE gap between SUCCESS and FAILURE.  YES for outliers.  NO for most of the time.  In fact, studies proved that Gap Between SUCCESS And FAILURE is as minuscule as you could think about. To quantify it based on studies, most of the time, that GAP is approximately 5%, i.e. 5% MORE effort OR or LESS effort.  And to put things in the right perspective, let us NOT gloss over the fact that famous successful names like Steve Job, Henry Ford and Thomas Edison all have one thing in common.  They all FAILED in the past.  And if we go through their memoirs, they will detail out their chronic and recurring FAILURES before they hit paydirt💧💧💧

And WHAT's most intriguing is that studies show that in most cases, the GAP between SUCCESS and FAILURE is NOT as wide as the Red Sea.  In fact, to inject a number, the studies pegged it to somewhere 5% MORE or LESS.  HOW and WHERE do we map that 5% GAP may be challenging from a macro level but if one will do a post-mortem, it could be those quite small variables that turned out to be the GAME-CHANGER💦💦💦

From a 'helicopter view' of things, the difference between SUCCESS and FAILURE could likely be having that POSITIVE MINDSET that will put you on the right path forward.  You just have to find out WHICH road you want to thread and HOW to get through that FINISH LINE, which from the outset may seem elusive and quite a wild shot to attempt hitting it.  YES, it has to do with MINDSET and that's everything in it💥💥💥

All things being equal, it is even immaterial if you are somebody struggling from the Third World OR someone WHO's on top of his game in Wall Street.  YES, we all have one common thing that we need to have and that's the SELF-CONFIDENCE and this comes from having a POSITIVE MINDSET.  Take out that POSITIVE MINDSET from the variable. sadly, it will be a 'shot in the moon' for you to have that SELF-CONFIDENCE✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  it happens time and again.  Two people having the same opportunity, same approach, same blueprint for success and in the business world, maybe they have the same mentor.  One makes six figures while the other FAILS or simply gives up.  WHAT's the difference?  Likely, it's their MINDSET.  WHY?  That is the very building blocks of SUCCESS, without it, the foundation can crumble and collapse when storms inevitably hit you.  Indeed, that GAP BETWEEN SUCCESS and FAILURE may NOT be that huge after all😗😗😗

Consider The SENSE OF SCALE

Consider The SENSE OF SCALE

NOT all things are UNFATHOMABLE.  In fact, most things are.  You DON'T need to second-guess or even make assumptions.  WHEN all the irrefutable facts are there, when there is NOTHING else beyond the deck of cards laid out on the table, then do Consider The SENSE OF SCALE when you're about to draw conclusions.  Otherwise, drawing conclusions based on guestimates and a lot of 'iffffy' statements will never make sense📗📙📘

In real life, to draw a SENSE OF SCALE will need us to simply stick on facts, e.g. if Bill Gates has a net worth of US$ 56 billion, it means he's earning roughly $3,000 per minute [so that's $50 per second] ever since he founded Microsoft [together with his ex-wife Melinda].  So, it is quite easy to draw this conclusion that it DOESN'T make sense for him to spend 5 seconds to pick $100 off the floor.  Just NOT A GOOD USE of his time.  This is drawing a SENSE OF SCALE in real terms💥💥💥

So, if you're like me, that second statement will just make your jaw drop, right?  WHY?  Because 56 billion is just a number BUT $3,000 per minute is something vivid enough to crystallize the numbers in real, imaginable terms.  So, how do we develop that SENSE OF SCALE in life?  Let's consider comparing SIDE BY SIDE BY SIDE.  A common way to put things in perspective is to literally line them up, side by side so to speak.  In short, we need to consider evolving to become 'visual creatures'✅✅✅

Truth is, human nature explains WHY we like to see NOT just to imagine abstract numbers.  To our brains, a million or billion and even trillion all seem like large, vague numbers.  Oh yes, even after Steve Jobs died, Tim Cook of Apple knows this well enough.  Many of their ads compare products to everyday objects, rather than touting their raw dimensions.  WHAT do we hear?  THE MACBOOK FITS IN A MANILA ENVELOPE.  THE iPOD NANO IS AS THICK AS A PENCIL.  YES, you'll get their sizes without busting out a ruler❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  YES it may seem backwards that casual measurements like a pencil's width can be more useful than a count of millimeters BUT hey dude, we are NOT machines!!!  Our everyday life is with pencils, NOT millimeters and we can easily imagine HOW much room a pencil takes.  Zeroing on our life, it helps that we talk things out in concrete, real-life terms, NOT the literary way of verboseness.  Consider the SENSE OF SCALE, dude😌😌😌

A 'PILE OF GOLD' Is NOT All In Life

A 'PILE OF GOLD' Is NOT All In Life

Apologies for non-basketball aficionados as I'm starting our thread today related to breaking news from the hoops [NBA basketball] world.  When I woke up this morning, the first thing I checked was IF Dan Hurley [the celebrated back-to-back champion coach of UConn [University of Connecticut] accepted that juicy 6-year $70 Million offer from the LA Lakers to be their Head Coach. Fyi, he turned down that offer in favor of his current $32 Million UConn contract he signed off last 2023. Alas, he turned down that 'PILE OF GOLD'.  Indeed, that's NOT All In Life📗📙📘

YES, as much as we all love monies monies monies, that PILE of GOLD is NOT ALL IN LIFE.  UConn Coach Dan Hurley turning down that $70 Million offer from the Lakers' Jennie Buss is only the latest reaffirmation that tons and tons of monies DO NOT unlock the kind of happiness one really wants or deserves in life.  I can attest to that because to the shock of people who were aware of my decision points, I decided to renounce my [very coveted] Singapore citizenship in favor of reacquiring my original citizenship by going to the Nassim Road Embassy and take my oath of allegiance [to reacquire my original citizenship]💧💧💧

Somehow, I CAN'T wrap my mind around the idea that in today's society, money ISN'T everything.  I feel that most of us [if NOT everyone] is trying to build a case against money and support their argument with fluffy concepts that have NO practical effect on their daily struggles. Ok, in your humble opinion, if life is NOT all about money, then WHAT is it about?  Is it going on a movie binge, streaming in Netflix or Viu?  OR is it playing that addicting mobile apps games?  OR is it gossiping about friends online [even with people you NEVER met yet]?  Is it about pretending to connect with people you DON'T even care via social media?  OR WHAT???

BUT let's face the stark truth.  HOW much money ISN'T everything if your hands CAN'T reach any of that stuff without cash, YES even love and relationships cost money [otherwise HOW can you sustain it]?  Let me piggy-back here the advice from psychologists WHO claim that THINGS CAN control our time.  .  How often do we hear, "I'VE GOT SO MANY THINGS TO DO".  Oh YES, when you say that, you feel a SENSE OF SUCCESS, really???

Our takeaway:  I'd like to make reference to the study by noted psychologist Robert Kenny WHO decided to study people with net worth above $25 Million.  Lo and behold, his study showed that while MONEY eased many aspects of these people's lives, it made other aspects MORE difficult.  I remember often hearing people say that their greatest aspiration in life was to be a GOOD PARENT, NOT exactly the stereotype some might expect.  WHEN asked whether their MONEY helps with that, they answered with all the obvious stuff like good schools, travel, security, name it.  BUT WHEN asked HOW their MONEY gets in the way, they had a payload of a response, repeatedly stating that MONEY is NOT always helpful.  Some were even concerned with MOTIVATION as they were worried if their children DIDN'T have enough MONEY, WHAT will MOTIVATE them?  Indeed, a PILE OF GOLD IS NOT ALL [that is needed] in life😖😖😖

Fight OR Flight?

Fight OR Flight?

I am NOT in the medical or science fields BUT that does NOT excuse me from digesting the ramifications of STRESS to our health.  Experts tell us then WHEN under STRESS, our body releases hormones that can cause blood glucose levels to increase.  This may cause adverse symptoms to people with diabetes.  Experts tell us that WHEN you're experiencing STRESS, our body reacts.  And that is called the Fight OR Flight RESPONSE which to us laymen is hitherto unknown.  Quite frightening to learn that our body reacts in ways that is beyond our visuals BUT the ramifications run deep beneath📗📙📘

Apparently, during this response, our body releases adrenaline and cortisol into our bloodstream and our respiratory rate increases.  This can increase blood glucose levels if the body CAN'T adequately process it.  Worst of all worst things, with constant STRESS from long-term problems with blood glucose, medical experts tell us that it can wear us down mentally and physically.  And if one is suffering from diabetes, things will never be less difficult💧💧💧

Apparently there are different types of STRESS that can worsen one's medical situation if he/she is confirmed to be diabetic.  And I CAN'T agree less when they say that STRESS can affect people differently.  And the type of STRESS that one experiences can have an impact on our body's physical response. And things just worsen when it comes to diabetics❎❎❎

From a layman's perspective, the perplexing question is, is living a life without STRESS a pipe dream.  NO sirrrrrrs, setting aside all the medical arguments, while natural calamities and disasters are NOT man-made, most of the STRESSORS are human-made📌📌📌

Our takeaway:  WHETHER you're ALL IN for a fight OR you'll take flight, we always hear that running away from a 'FIGHT' or a STRESS can be a bad idea because it can make the situation more dangerous.  They say running away can trigger the aggressor's predator drive, WHICH is our natural instinct to chase after escaping prey.  Having said that, psychologists claim that it's okay to walk away from a fight if it's WHAT you need for your welfare and safety BUT it takes eXtra strength, eXtra self-control and eXtra smarts.  At the end of the day, WHETHER you will go for a FIGHT or take FLIGHT, it behooves that you will arrive at an informed decision❗❗❗
 

To Be PATHOLOGICALLY OPTIMISTIC

To Be PATHOLOGICALLY OPTIMISTIC

YES, there is that raging debate [in the background though] WHETHER it is right OR wrong To Be PATHOLOGICALLY OPTIMISTIC?  In my daily debrief this morning with Channelnewsasia, I was floored with that 'tectonic plate' shaking breaking news that TESLA shareholders have approved Elon Musk's ['UNFATHOMABLE'] US$ 56Billion pay package, whew AS IN whew!@#$%? The BIGGEST question I asked myself is how the hell was Elon Musk able to secure that BIG thumbs up via the shareholders approval?  Reflective of his persona, the mercurial Elon Musk unabashedly admitted he has proven to be a PATHOLOGICAL OPTIMIST!!!

YES, that Channelnewsasia breaking news this morning did trigger me to have this PATHOLOGICAL OPTIMISM as our thread today.  WHY?  NOT because of Elon Musk BUT because I realized many of us would have replicated [even by a fraction] that PATHOLOGICAL OPTIMISM which Elon Musk has consistently manifested through the years ever since this college dropout dived into the pool of a very few unique success stories till to date💥💥💥

With humility, much as I CAN'T and SHOULDN'T claim even a fraction of Elon Musk's successes, I would rather admit that many times [if NOT most of the time], I am admittedly a pathological optimist, one WHO would see a GLIMMER of HOPE even if dark clouds are hovering all over me.  For me, the key here is the intention and NOT the size of the risk.  Instead, it's all about WHY you take it💦💦💦

YES, let's consider taking an equally BIG risk BUT as the axiom says it, A SWALLOW DOES HARDLY MAKE A SPRING.  As a personal affirmation, I can attest that a big chunk of my past setbacks could be attributed to my optimism [which was by default more often].  BUT do I now regret my default optimism?  NO sirrrs, NOT at all.  On the other hand, I'll attribute most of my successes  to my tendencies to be PATHOLOGICALLY OPTIMISTIC.  You could have a failed start BUT it's how you pick the pieces again❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  While everyone of us is entitled to be OPTIMISTIC, we must ensure that both our feet are always grounded.  WHY?  Because OPTIMISM that is based on shaky grounds will NOT able to withstand any tectonic plates that may shake in the future.  Let us visualize basic structures where the foundations are NOT firmly grounded.  Knock on wood, when 'earth-shaking' things will happen on the ground, it is NOT far fetched to anticipate the structure from crumbling down and eventually collapsing.  In a nutshell, whether your OPTIMISM is more of an outlier OR we swing over that you are a PATHOLOGICAL OPTIMIST, either way is apt and correct as long as you can buttress the foundations as to WHERE your OPTIMISM stands in life😌😌😌

It's NOT The Same For Everyone

It's NOT The Same For Everyone

To borrow one of the oldest and one of the most oft-quoted cliches, '"DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER".  Simply put. let us NOT draw conclusions based on WHAT we see OR what we witness, NOT until you have validated it and did get through it.  Oh Oh Oh, this is most prevalent in today's social media were the recipient/reader tends to draw conclusions based on FACE VALUE, based on WHAT that social media post seems to brag OR scream.  BUT WHAT is lost is that It's NOT The Same For Everyone📗📙📘

Unlike in the old school where we were peppered with endless pitches [we called it 'sermon'] from our parents that we are NOT at the level of Joneses, hence, let us NOT keep up with them, in today's social media, human behavior tends to manifest and happen faster than the speed of sound.  More often, we tend to skip [OR intentionally ignore] that every social media post or sharing needs to be classified as either as FACT or FICTION [a.k.a. FAKE NEWS].  Mother of all worse things, such behavior we tend to manifest later becomes MORE frequent until it becomes a part of our force of HABIT💧💧💧

True, a lot of us [and that includes moi] would have social media posts of our achievements in life.  Whether it's finishing a marathon, topping our class batch, OR buying our dream gadget, one of the common reactions to those kind of posts is how 'EASY' was it for them to achieve those things.  Hey, did they experience hardships?  Maybe it DOESN'T look like it.  Then, here comes our internalized reaction, 'HOW I WISH I COULD EASILY ACHIEVE THOSE THINGS'.  Problem is, we sometimes think that way.  And at times, we see things like that.  In the end, we suffer that way.  WHAT we miss out is that those achievements could be the product of sleepless nights, sacrifice and hard work [NOT just of the person him/herself BUT even the parents, the support structure💥💥💥

Sometimes, we miss out the fact that generally, there is NO EASY PATH in life.  True, from the other side of the fence, things look that easy BUT that's being presumptuous.  Sometimes it is true, one particular achievement was EASY for someone BUT that doesn't mean it would be easier for others to achieve WHAT you've achieved.  BUT hey, NOT everyone has the same resources, same connections OR even those opportunities that would arise❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  The fundamental issue here is that WHEN we talk about fairness and equality, while the appreciation may be in good faith, the understanding is intrinsically flawed.  Even between EQUALITY and EQUITY, there is a huge mix-up because while in EQUALITY is where we treat everyone the same, it assumes the same thing will benefit everyone in the same way.  BUT EQUITY is treating people fairly, looking at WHAT they need to ensure they have access to the same opportunities.  Simply put, NOT everyone can stand on a box and ignoring that fact that in reality, we are still fumbling in that ability to recognize the fact that, in life, it is TO EACH HIS OWN [because IT'S NOT THE SAME FOR EVERYONE]😗😗😗

Clean Up Your Mess, PLEASE

Clean Up Your Mess, PLEASE

Clean Up Your Mess.  Can you remember the first time you heard someone [probably your mom] say this to you?  OR for that matter, can you remember another one loudly instructing CLEAN UP YOUR MESS?  I can share some first-hand testimonials WHERE someone screamed this repeatedly to a subordinate [at work].  And initially, it was like a rough and tumble game wherein either party just WON'T budge.  BUT at some point, someone did cave in and realized his MESS📗📙📘

As awful as that experience [even if it is not that traumatic] can be, I can bet that that can be the turning point, that tipping point of realization, WHERE someone can become a version of someone more orderly.  True, fear and humiliation can be a great teacher and motivator BUT frankly, I am more inclined for a gentle, diplomatic approach [WITHOUT being accused of disciplining via a SLAP ON THE WRIST.  Looking back, I did experience moments in the past WHERE I was guilty of messes I was culpable of.  And I had to CLEAN UP those MESSES and had to learn and even re-learn old habits that somehow died down in the past💦💦💦

Sometimes, the tough LESSONS LEARNT came with the help of others and sometimes born from an inner stirring that nudged me into something better.  YES, it takes constant vigilance to CLEAN UP all the MESSES.  And BTW, be on the lookout of a good habit WHICH might die a natural death.  It did happen to me in the past and it was tough man, tough to reintroduce such good habits back into my system💧💧💧

So, WHAT are those messes in life?  A lot AS IN a lot.  Rather being on defensive and resisting to CLEAN UP the MESS, WHY DON'T we take it as an opportunity for us to CLEAN UP with a much lower humiliation factor.  So, WHERE's your MESS?  Is it on your physical health?  Your financial health?  OR are you involved in some MESSY stuff with regard your work performance?  Either way, as the old cliche goes, WHEN you're down, there's NO other way to go BUT UP.  So, HOW do we approach the CLEANING UP of a MESS?  First off, define your problem OR MESS that needs some CLEANING UP💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Dissect the issue into small, smaller components so that you can clearly understand the severity of your MESS.  And then, direct your attention to the fixes.  WHAT do you need to do today or the next day to CLEAN UP your mess?  Sadly, as adults, we are really good at telling children, students and co-workers to CLEAN UP their messes.  YET, WHEN it comes to our own internal orderliness, we tend to ignore OR miss them due to our own blind spots.  So, to CLEAN UP your MESS is NOT a pleading.  This is a MUST-DO dude❗❗❗

How Do We 'GET OVER'?

How Do We 'GET OVER'?

True, life is hard.  Difficult and unwanted things happen to us.  Sadly, human nature WHEN we find ourselves in a challenging situation, our instinct is to wish it away because it is unpleasant at the very least.  And then, we often want to rush to the point WHEN our troubles NO longer cause us discomfort.  BUT the question that keeps bugging us is this:  How Do We 'GET OVER'?  The answer is simple enough and that is, you need to get over it, head-on📗📙📘

And BTW, to face it head on, it's NO rocket science.  First and foremost, you got to gather all your fortitude [and gumption] to face it. There's just NO other way [else you might even run away from that situation].   Once you're LOCKED IN, then MAKE A PLAN.  WHILE you DON'T know WHAT is going to happen in the future, you can always PLAN ahead.  Look at the patterns in your life and see WHAT challenges you struggle with💧💧💧

At that point, it becomes imperative to assess the optimal outcomes and make a PLAN for HOW you can achieve them.  And if you work somewhere and you can anticipate the types of challenges you may face, then you can PLAN ahead from thereon.  BTW, this happens to us all.  You have a TIME MANAGEMENT issue, then, it's fairly simple for you to embrace and acquire the sound fundamentals of PLANNING your time even via calendar management.  Frankly, to heal and address the hardships we have at hand, we need to face them.  And HEALING happens WHEN we allow ourselves to go through WHAT we are going through [and NOT ignore them]💦💦💦

True, facing head-on the challenges we have may seem daunting initially BUT then that is a crucial step forward.  Maintaining the STATUS QUO is not acceptable OR worst, circumventing the challenge by avoiding it will NEVER resolve and close it.  WHAT do we gain from this NOT so palatable approach?  WHEN we confront our difficulties instead of avoiding them, we gain valuable insights about ourselves and discover our strengths.  It's akin to forging steel through the fire as our hardships would definitely shape us into stronger and wiser individuals.  And in the face of the adversity, embracing the reality of WHAT we are going through instead of pushing it away is the key for us to emerge stronger, if NOT unscathed💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Challenges can get too tough to handle when emotions get into the mix.  And if we attempt to suppress our emotions, rather than allowing them to flow out, that can lead to them piling up inside of us.  Studies do support cases WHERE people WHO faced trauma may try to suppress such unpleasant emotions as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming feelings BUT experts tell us, such suppression can lead to worsening our mental and physical health.  Bottom line is, let's be firm that WHATEVER IT IS, we can GET OVER IT😑😑😑

Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself

Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself

This world we live in can quite rowdy and cacophonous.  I have said this many times and allow me to repeat it:  IF YOU GOT TEN PEOPLE IN THE ROOM, EXPECT TEN DIFFERENT OPINIONS HOVERING ALL OVER YOU.  And I hope that is NOT debatable because that's the fact, the harsh reality we live in. Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself.  Indeed, fear and anxiety about life are challenges for everyone of us.  To be more philosophical, I always believed that in this planet, there are 3 human goals that I have understood quite well enough.  THAT we need to love our fell humans.  THAT we need to learn for us to grow in knowledge and wisdom.  And THAT we got to protect our environment📗📙📘

Admittedly, until now, I always endeavor to look for ways to best listen to myself.  And I WON'T hesitate to dissect in figuring out WHY I behaved that way, WHY I am manifesting that stuff, WHY I reacted [quite NOT in a normal way] in a particular incident.  Oh yes, I did come across an article about self-confidence and even today, whenever I read a content-heavy stuff, I want to absorb it and that article just reminded me to reinforce my self-motivation, THAT there is NO tapering off.  The simple thing to listen to ourselves is to follow WHAT our conscience tells us.  And if there is a non-debatable consensus within the psychology community, it is the fact that LISTENING to one's conscience is one hundred percent correct action.  YES, it's quite different if we only depend on the thoughts in our heads💧💧💧

And I CAN'T agree less with the experts who tell us that the mind has indications to reveal even the untruths.  THAT the mind has indications of NOT speaking the truth.  As a result, we state something THAT is NOT based on facts.  And THAT WHEN an individual wants to make a decision and he does NOT use or follow his conscience BUT only relies on the thoughts in his head, the results of the decision tend to be tainted by our emotions, WHICH is NOT right❌❌❌

Looking back, starting sometime my high school years, I attempted to crystallize my goals in life, immature and quite off-track it may be during those years.  I then started diving into a new pool of life and I had to be able to find ways so that I can easily adapt to the new environment.  And many dilemmas came into my mind every night during those early years, sometimes even creeping into my dreams.  And admittedly God knows WHAT the cause was.  Maybe, those times I was NOT listening to myself.  OR NOT following WHAT I want❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Everything boils down to self-confidence.  If anxiety seems to manifest every night, the dilemma about WHETHER the life we live is useful OR not, is caused by doubt and lack of confidence.  We must always be able to listen to ourselves.  Because WHEN we succeed in listening to the basic things we want, it will give us self-confidence.  BUT HOW?  Listening to yourself is a kind of REFLECTION.  REFLECTION to listen to WHAT we want so that we DON'T get tired easily, so that we DON'T worry easily.  And in my perspective, self-confidence is about belief and that belief evolves when you SPEND MORE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF😌😌😌

Say The Words You Want To Hear

Say The Words You Want To Hear

How often we blurt out 'THAT's MUSIC TO MY EARS'?  YES it's true, Say The Words You Want To Hear, no more no less.  In pedestrian lingo, it's akin to saying 'SCRATCH MY BACK AND I'LL SCRATCH YOURS' [as well].  BUT to piggy-back with the jargon from psychologists, they tell us that the timing of our brain wave shapes HOW we perceive our environment.  And that we are MORE likely to perceive events WHEN their timing coincides with the timing of relevant brain waves.  In fact, we DON'T need to look far.  Look at yourself, comforting others with words you want to hear.  Sometimes, it does amaze me HOW I can give advice to someone even without experiencing their situation .  I vividly recall that time I was VPO [Volunteer Probation Officer] with the Singapore government.  There I was, counselling juveniles [including their parents] WHEN I was never a juvenile📗📙📘

Those years, I found myself speaking words of comfort and offering counsel, solutions and support to the juvenile delinquents under my purview and custodianship.  Looking back, I now realized that sometimes it seemed strange HOW easily those words I need to speak just kept flowing into me [AS IF I had rehearsed them many times in mind].  And I was in tight situations those times as I was like 'walking the tightrope', doing a balancing act between my counselled teens and their parents/guardians [WHO by themselves seemed lost in the maze as well]💧💧💧

And WHEN I talk to someone going through a tough time, I hear myself saying things I wish someone had said to me.  I tell them to stay strong, to keep going, that I am proud of them, and that WHEN YOU'RE DOWN , THE ONLY WAY TO GO WAS UPWARDS.  Oh Oh, I have to admit I had my fair share of challenges in life which I want to hear as well WHEN I do face my own challenges.  And trust me, I was on the receiving end many times and I realized I was blessed enough to hear those words [EVEN when I least expected].  Oh YES, I often realized that the advisories I have been giving in an unsolicited way are words that will help in encouraging others to make me feel like I am capable of handling even my fair share of challenges and problems💥💥💥

An insight here is that whenever I am giving advice to others, I do feel that SENSE OF CLARITY.  The worries that cloud my own mind seem to lift WHEN I focus on someone else's needs.  Indeed, that was always a reminder that we all need to hear positive words and that sometimes, we have to be the ones to say them [EVEN IF it's just to ourselves].  On the other hand, listening to others and offering advice helps me to see my own life from a different perspective.  I begin to understand that the strength and hope I give to others also lie within me.  And it's as though by helping them, I am helping myself to grow✅✅✅

Our takeaway: Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT implying that we'll scratch someone's back ONLY IF they scratch our back too. Counselling and advising is all about manifestations of words shared NOT just for others.  Those words remind us as well that we are NOT alone, that we are strong enough, and that, on our own, we can overcome our difficulties.  That's more than a 'shot in the arm' each time we SAY WORDS WE WANT TO HEAR as well😀😀😀