Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain

Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain

Of course, we're all afraid to lose something OR someone we now have.  That's just human nature.  But when reality kicks in, you may be constrained to take a REALITY CHECK and figure out that Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain.  Let's look at tear-jerking stories.  You would grow to become a young adult in the comfort of your home with the dutiful guidance of your doting parents.  Then one day, you need to enroll to a university at the BIG CITY.  Before you know it, rivers of tears will be flooding between mom and daughter and what happens next is anybody's guess💎💎💎

A more unfortunate and sad story are those whose homes get burned into ashes, leaving nothing left to the hapless occupants of that home.  THAT's when you pick up the pieces from the very rubble.  THAT's when you get into realizations.  THAT's when you start to value and cherish things ten times fold compared to those care free times when all you need to do is go to the shopping mall, then voila, you got what you want.  Another common sad story is when suddenly you're jobless, out there in the cold, totally caught unguarded by the turn of unfortunate events, which normally has its financial implications⏳⏳⏳

To share some of my bitter-sweet past, WHEN my aunt [who financially supported me in my early years] died, I felt helpless.  BUT what happened next, I realized that I CAN'T sulk in a corner.  I gotta pick up the pieces.  WHEN my company executed a massive global reorganization, I was one of those given that pink slip. HOW did I take it?  I welcomed that development because besides the 'golden handshake', I told myself, this gives me the chance to move-up the goal post⏳⏳⏳

A common debacle is when you are holding n to things that, in the end, are holding you back.  When things AREN'T adding up in your life, begin subtracting because life gets a lot simpler when you CLEAR THE CLUTTER that makes things complicated.  BTW, NOT EVERYTHING and EVERYONE YOU LOSE IS A LOSS📌📌📌

A more petty incident is when you get mulcted with a tidy sum of monies.  That hits us hard, definitely.  BUT when you wake up next morning, that should positively change you to be MORE vigilant, MORE wary, MORE watchful, MORE incisive.  We may NOT agree to this hard reality but this is nothing less than gospel truth.  WHEN we get hit hard, we would realize that SOMETIMES WE NEED TO LOSE TO GAIN✅✅✅

When Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

When Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

Do we subscribe to this [quite unbelievable statement], that Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?  Yes indeed this is absolutely true.  Fact is, we all think negatively sometimes.  We're having a bad day and it feels like the world is against us.  Then, we start to believe THAT things are indeed harder for us, THAT life is unfair, THAT other people DON'T have good intentions.  Oh, the more we allow ourselves to think negatively, the more often we will have NEGATIVE thoughts and the harder it will be to break the cycle💊💊💊

And the more that we allow ourselves to think NEGATIVELY, the more often we will have NEGATIVE thoughts.  BUT again, thinking positively all the time is NOT the solution for us to overcome NEGATIVE thinking.  It is possible to have fewer NEGATIVE thoughts and reframe them so they become more realistic.  We want to strategize in such a way for things to be realistic, for us to be human enough and to remain hopeful even during difficult circumstances.  This is NOT as steep as climbing Mount Everest.  On the other hand, let us NOT belittle this just like a molehill💎💎💎

So what's our FIXes?  The key to keep NEGATIVE thinking under control so that it doesn't turn into a NEGATIVE attitude toward life is to first recognize that NEGATIVE, pessimistic or critical thoughts are a typical experience for most of us.  Being hard on ourselves is NOT the solution, nor is coming up with a positive alternative to every NEGATIVE thought we have.  If today we had a terrible day, fine to say it was a rough day📌📌📌

When we get into an argument with someone, thinking they are treating you badly or unfairly OR that they are being unfair maybe correct and accurate.  We just DON'T want to treat NEGATIVE thoughts as unacceptable.  BUT here's a tough ASK.  If you notice most of your thinking lately has been NEGATIVE and that it's becoming harder to be hopeful and optimistic, that tells us it might be time to try to put your thoughts into perspective✅✅✅

Definitely, we DON'T want to dampen every situation by finding the NEGATIVE aspects and focusing on them.  Sometimes, when we allow NEGATIVE thoughts to consume us, it becomes harder to enjoy ourselves, to be kind to others and to be grateful for the blessings we got in many more of our experiences.  In the simplest terms, we hold the KEY and the only answer whether we can 'throw out through the windows' all the rubbish and crap that NEGATIVE thoughts because WHEN OUR MIND PRODUCES NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, we're doomed❗❗❗

Majority Of Stress Is SELF-INFLICTED

Majority Of Stress Is SELF-INFLICTED

Majority Of Stress Is SELF-INFLICTED, oh really?  Yesireeeee, studies have shown this result.  Experts have even identified it as part of a SELF-INJURY DISORDER which covers other psychological manifestations [which we DON'T intend to cover here].  Instead, let's focus on STRESS and dissect why indeed a Majority Of Stress Is SELF-INFLICTED.  But unlike self-injury, with STRESS, there is no intent to willfully harm oneself as STRESS does not typically involve cutting, burning or even subtle but scary manifestations [like hair-pulling]✅✅✅

From a behavioral standpoint, self-inflicted stress was traced by experts to folks who were often raised in families that discouraged expression of anger.  And that includes individuals who lack skills to express their emotions and worse, may be lacking a good social support network [especially those detached from their immediate family].  So, the bigger question is what really leads to the self-infliction of stress❓❓❓

When life is 'BUSY', sometimes the laundry and dishes get neglected.  If you CAN'T see your floor and your kitchen is too dirty to use, we're NOT judging you.  But can we agree that a CLUTTERED space leads to a CLUTTERED mind?  Exactly, mess can cause stress [or even worse].  A research study found women with messy homes had elevated stress levels compared to those with spaces that are cluttered-free💎💎💎

Let's think about how you feel when your space is dirty versus how you feel when it's clean.  A little stressed?  Or overwhelmed?  So, what's our FIXes?  Start off by committing to a set cleaning schedule.  Let's encourage maintaining regular schedule for at least our daily predictable chores and activities💊💊💊

And if you need to write your TO-DO List, please DON'T ever scribble 'EVERYTHING' because your self-inflicted stress will be born from thereon.  Now back to your home.  If you're NOT fun of cleaning, tidying your space can be a stressful task within itself.  BUT try thinking of others, it can make the process a FEEL-GOOD experience.  I can attest to do after I religiously follow my schedules [and timelines].  By the time I'm done, I would heave a sigh of relief with not a slightest tinge of stress.  SELF-INFLICTED STRESS?  Put a stop to it📌📌📌

When Do You 'DELIVER The GOODS'?

When Do You 'DELIVER The GOODS'?

No No No, we're not into the logistics business whose core business is to 'DELIVER The GOODS',  What we're keen to ask is, in life, When Do You 'DELIVER The GOODS'?  Does it happen randomly?  At a spur of the moment?  OR do you DELIVER THE GOODS on a seasonal basis?  OR when you just FEEL GOOD to 'DELIVER The GOODS'?  Your responses to the above-mentioned queries could either make our thread today that interesting or simply damn boring, so When Do You 'DELIVER The GOODS'❓❓❓

So that's the overriding question we've posed for you today, When Do You 'DELIVER The GOODS'?  In case you ran out of words, let me second-guess you,  Do you DELIVER pinpoint, on time, as per your committed timeline?  OR do you DELIVER when emergency and urgencies would push you to plunge through the deep ravines?  OR do you DELIVER depending on your engine, if it is going on full throttle?  OR do you DELIVER when there are drivers and catalyst behind you and a cheering squad boosting your motivation down at the FINISH LINE❔❔❔

Till to date, I bear witness to people who [pardon my blunt words] start moving their ass WHEN their chips are down, WHEN their back is against the wall, WHEN they need to pray a hundred Hail Mary, WHEN they hit a hopeless rock bottom, WHEN they have ran out of cards, WHEN even his family and loved ones become miserably challenged, WHEN his only other option left to bail himself out is to renege to 'DELIVER The GOODS'❗❗❗

BUT BUT BUT, if you 'DELIVER The GOODS' like, out of duress or pressure, it is the least preferred situation.  WHY didn't you 'DELIVER The GOODS' within your committed timelines?  WHY didn't you 'DELIVER The GOODS' when you could have done it at a normal pace?  WHY didn't you 'DELIVER The GOODS' when that 'pressure cooker' has not reached that boiling point?  WHY 'DELIVER The GOODS' when you ran out of cards❓❓❓

So what's our FIXes?  Be rigidly committed to your timelines.  Cast your goals + timelines in stone.  DON'T start moving goal posts.  Once you've done it once, come next time, you'll abuse that flexibility again [BTW habits die hard].  If to 'DELIVER The GOODS' is far down the road, define milestones because that will be egging you to thread forward, even at a slow pace📌📌📌

Why 'SLICE & DICE" In Life?

Why 'SLICE & DICE" In Life?

Supposedly, once we hear SLICE & DICE, it's all about analytics and BI [Business Intelligence] but hey, times have changed.  BI's and analytics DON'T have a monopoly to 'SLICE & DICE' because we got a life to live and we just CAN'T leave things at that, just shrugging off our shoulder once we stumble, once we fall flat on our face, that's not the norm expected of us these days💊💊💊

Let's go back memory lane and go over these multifarious horror stories.  A student kept aiming for high honors but kept fumbling year-in year-out.  And how about that couple who used to be so lovey-dovey, not until when they shared the same roof, and their rough-and-tumble tiffs worsened into never-say-die fights till all hell broke loose.  And how about that office worker whose boss kept whacking him for one fumbling act to another.  And how about that novice entrepreneur who kept infusing capital to his struggling business to no avail⏳⏳⏳

What's the commonality of all those debacles?  It's a no-brainer.  There was absolutely no SLICE-and-DICE post mortem approach at all after each fumbling act. Or if there was once, it was simply given a lip service but not enough to give it the justice it deserves.  And BTW, who are the best practitioners of running those SLICE-and-DICE?  It's the competitive world of sports, name it from basketball to boxing. They spend nights and days wracking through all the film data📌📌📌

It's true this comes from the old school.  BUT hey, why throw away through the window what works effectively? To SLICE-and-DICE means, you do a root cause analysis [RCA] and pin down the very possible root cause [even in case when the very root cause CAN'T be pinned down in absolute terms✅✅✅

Regardless of your age bracket today, if of late, you have been struggling financially [despite all the bonuses you received]. Shouldn't you pause and SLICE-and-DICE to get to the bottom of things?  If you've been sickly the past year, in and out from over-the-counter medications and anti-biotics, does that assuage your fears about your health?  On the contrary, it should trigger tremors within you.  So, why not SLICE-and-DICE❓❓❓

When Things Are Not 'LINEAR'

When Things Are Not 'LINEAR'

We all want simple, straightforward things in life.  Moreso for our own life, we want it to be straight up but unfortunately, that is NOT the reality because most things are NOT 'linear'.  And When Things Are Not 'LINEAR', things can ZIG and ZAG and sometimes, it turtles up and around, many times ending off-tracked.  So, this runs counter to what we have been taught all along that is that fairly simple to navigate💎💎💎

One realization which I did embrace of late is that a lot hf 'HARD DECISIONS' we eventually need to make are catalyzed by life events and transitions.  Let's rattle off some samplings.  When do people secure a private life insurance for the first time?  Likely, either after buying their first home, probably after having their first child, or likely after their second, and 'almost surely' after someone close passes away.  Sad grief, in fact📌📌📌

When do people pay off residual, revolving credit card debt?  Maybe after getting embarrassed that they had to tell their new spouse/partner about it.  Around the early 1900s, a plethora of new time periods became popular:  adolescence, midlife, retirement, amongst others. Then, we came across the coined term 'MIDLIFE CRISIS'⏳⏳⏳

Indeed, a hallmark of our time is that life is NOT predictable.  It does NOT unfold in passages, stages, phases or cycles.  In fact, it is NOT LINEAR. So, it seems, the only thing that is predictable in life is its UNPREDICTABILITY itself.  So, it seems the 'unifying' theme in our life is actually centered on the SURPRISES that require course corrections✅✅✅

And in life, the more we fight those changes, the more challenges and pain we tend to endure.  But hey, life is more manageable, more forgiving of missteps and more open to personalization AS LONG AS you know how to navigate those untold numbers of TWISTS and TURNS.  Our lesson for today?  Never be so confident [or cocky?] that life is that LINEAR because it is NOT❗❗❗

What's Giveth, Taketh

What's Giveth, Taketh

While in life we kept claiming that NOTHING is free in life, that there's NOTHING like a free lunch because they are NOT even free after all.  Yet, from time to time, there's 'manna from heaven' that gets dropped from heaven or from a good samaritan OR probably, simply due to a streak of luck, an opportunity pops-up and its voila.  But when that happens, not everyone subscribes that What's Giveth, Taketh💎💎💎

When life knocks us down, do we bounce back fast enough or do we get drowned in our emotions, till we give up?  BUT hey, if you're struggling with coping with life's blows, you're NOT alone.  Been there, done that.  Everyone encounters challenging times in our lives.  And I guess it is a non-issue that we never know what life will throw on us come next day.  Life is such one of a hell of a big roller-coaster ride of UPs and DOWNs.  There will be times when you feel like you're ON TOP OF THE WORLD while other times, you may feel like you're hitting ROCK BOTTOM⏳⏳⏳

Indeed, playing with the unknown makes our journey through life equally exciting and terrifying.  In case you have been clinging to dear life with the belief that life is supposed to be linear, you're in for a rude awakening because that's NOT the case, truth be told, much as this is a hard pill to swallow📌📌📌

When bad things happen, it's natural to feel down.  You may even fall into the trap of assuming that things will NEVER get better.  Unfortunately for that kind of mindset, this is the very mindset that keeps so many people stuck in one place and drowning in 'victimhood'.  This wild ride that we call in life is actually an endless string of HIGH and LOWS, SUCCESSES and FAILURES, SETBACKS and COMEBACKS❗❗❗

Now, I had my fair share of bouncing back in my personal journey.  In the past, at some points, I was like rudderless, with no direction.  At several times, I was out of job [and you guess it right, in dire financial straits].  So, how did I bounce back from the rubble?  In many ways, those adversities made me beef up my personal arsenal of strengths.  I even flipped over some of my debacles to patch and reinforce my arsenal and I did constantly remind myself not to have opportunities slip through.  WHAT'S GIVETH, TAKETH✅✅✅

Making The 'RIGHT READS'

Making The 'RIGHT READS'

No sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do as a campaign to encourage reading.  This is all about the way we run our daily life, Making The 'RIGHT READS'.  This is just inevitable and something you can skip or avoid because as things or events start to progress, you can never guarantee the exact trajectory until its very outcome comes into fruition📌📌📌

Instead, our thread today is all about Making The 'RIGHT READS', which in concrete terms are as follows:

• CLEARLY UNDERSTANDING what is happening
• INCISIVELY ASSESSING the impact of what is happening
• CRAFTING your action plan arising from your assessment
• EXECUTING your action plan to the letter, to a 'T'
• QUALITY-CHECKING yourself every step of the way
• LOOP BACK to Step 1 if at this point you're 'off track'

Making The 'RIGHT READS' includes being crystal clear of yourself.  WHERE should we go for lunch?  WHAT's the plan for tonight?  WILL you be driving?  Questions like these are the bane of our existence.  They may sound so simple but for INDECISIVE people, making even small, minor and petty decisions can be tantamount to a major struggle.  WHAT IF the lunch venue I pick does not offer the dish I want?  WHAT IF the bar we hang out ends up boring?  WHAT IF we drive and we get into a road accident❓❓❓

For obvious reasons, it is normal if some of us do struggle in making those 'BIG' decisions, especially those life-changing ones.  In which case, prior to making that 'BIG' decisions, run through scenarios with all 'WHAT IF' scenarios factored in.  As my personal sharing, how do I run this in my life?  First, I spend CONSIDERABLY much less time [and nerve-wracking energy] worrying about making the right decision.  Instead, I would funnel more of my time [and useful energy] to ensure that decisions I make will turn out right ✅✅✅

In fact, in Making The 'RIGHT READS', I have realized that in decision-making, there is NO right or wrong per se.  Our lives are NOT movies.  Choosing between two options does NOT magically result in two parallel universes at all where on one side, we're happy and on the other side, we're miserable because our lives will adjust to whatever path we take.  It all boils down to Making The 'RIGHT READS' ❗❗❗

Keep Your Head On A Swivel

Keep Your Head On A Swivel

Keep Your Head On A Swivel, really?  You might be dumbfounded if this makes sense at all?  Meaning, our head has to have that 360-degree agility and flexibility?  Yesirrrrrrrs.  We need NOT redefine our anatomy but functionally that exactly is what is expected from us, day in, day out.  Often times, something happens behind our back and sometimes, worse things happen when we're NOT facing up on things.  But to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is NOT a huge ASK, if I may say so⏳⏳⏳

In real life, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is most often heard [and preached] in military organizations because as part of their training, they are constantly coached to be Xtra vigilant as they CAN'T afford an enemy or foe sneaking right from behind one's back.  But since we're not in the military service, you might ask, do we really need to Keep Your Head On A Swivel❓❓❓

In the competitive world of sports, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel means to be aware as to where the ballis and where the players are on the playing court or field.  To put things in context, a swivel is a physical connection that allows the connected object [such as a chair] to rotate either horizontally or vertically.  Back into our lives, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel means to be as proactive and as pre-emptive as possible💎💎💎

When I'm seated behind the steering wheels, this is exactly my very rigid mantra Keep Your Head On A Swivel every second, every minute.  Without unduly stretching myself out, I developed that habit of focused driving and with my line of sight reaching as far ahead as possible with the clear intent to take a pre-emptive move in case of wayward mishaps that may imminently happen down the road [even meters ahead]✅✅✅

In brief, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is a very good practice to get embedded as part of our self-discipline that comes out from our habit formation.  Now, we can play devil's advocate.  WHAT IF I refuse to heed this advice to Keep Your Head On A Swivel?  What are the implications, if any?  Not to scare you but what that means, during miscues or mishaps in life, you may NOT be a step behind but you would realize a particular emergency right on the very minute it is occurring right in your face.  That leaves you HIGH and DRY📌📌📌

What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

Nope sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with Culinary Arts.  Instead, we're curious What's Your SECRET SAUCE in life.  Surely, regardless of the magnitude and volume of successes you may have achieved in life, you would [or SHOULD rather] know Your SECRET SAUCE.  That's your forte, your top strengths, your ace amongst your deck of cards💎💎💎

I did bump across some folks who had their various successes in life and when I prompted them for their SECRET SAUCE, they seemed so utterly innocent [and I do believe them] when they swore that they DON'T have the slightest clue as regards their SECRET SAUCE, if any.  I would then enlighten them that they do have💊💊💊

You might challenge me, do we really need to know what our SECRET SAUCE is, in life?  YES and YES, that's my loud answer.  WHY?  If you are totally unaware of your strongest cards in your deck, HOW can you leverage on your strengths then?  HOW can you piggy-back on your strengths and build up for your next challenging forays❓❓❓

On the other hand, you can play devil's advocate and argue that to spill out your SECRET SAUCE, you might be unduly exposing and compromising yourself to the world out there?  No sirrrrs, you DON'T wash off your linen in public, you DON'T need to spew out from A to Z every single strength you have, you DON'T compromise your next steps by screaming it out✅✅✅

Now, it should be fair enough to argue we ought to know our SECRET SAUCE because we could have not gone and reached this far, not without that SECRET SAUCE we have up in our sleeves.  WHY did I manage to have my run of successes?  WHY did Lady Luck seem to be with me in my forays?  WHY did I successfully weather those turmoils that hit me hard at various points in my past?  Allow me to credit all those to my SECRET SAUCE❗❗❗