That Constant Need To Be Better

 

Oh Oh, that CONSTANT NEED TO BE BETTER.  Supposedly, there's nothing wrong with it, right?  WHICH reminds me of this unknown quote:  ENOUGH IS A DECISION, NOT A CONDITION.  Looking back, I now realized that for a huge fraction in my past, my definition of being 'BEST" was often a moving target.  And many times more, even in the middle of my pursuits, I kept moving my goal post.  WHICH meant I was constantly pouring it out, giving it all until I was sort of 'empty' and down the road, finding more to give [UNTIL I got emptied AS IN empty].  WHICH meant equating outcomes with worth and if the end results did NOT meet my own expectations, those efforts DIDN'T count, ouch💢💢💢

BUT if I had any [hard] realization along the way, it is the undeniable fact that "MY BEST" was constantly changing, very much fluid literally almost every day.  Admittedly, there were days WHEN my BEST was all over productivity.  Then, there were days WHEN my creativity seemed to surface.  Oh yes, other days, it would be showing up tired and still trying.  And sometimes, YES it's showing up BUT without me realizing it, my energy level was going down down the drain.  And YES, at times, my BEST seems to be at it's "OFF DAY", choosing NOT to push!@#$%?

YES YES yow, to state the NOT so obvious stuff here, doing our BEST ISN'T about checking and ticking all the boxes.  Instead, I realized [in the midst of my own internal bedlam] is that it's all about showing up even WHEN the outcome ISN'T perfect enough OR even if it does NOT approximate your own expectations. At some point, I thought I had to right the wrongs and even tweak the right ones.  Then, one day, I started to summon myself, looking for evidences of my effort and NOT the perfection I used to be so obsessed with.  And me thinks, this quandary does happen to many of us and it's NOT a despicable situation to have BUT the most important thing is for us to RIGHT THE WRONGS💧💧💧

And I recall, one huge miss I was guilty many times in the past was measuring my performance [and obviously, if and when I fail to reach the mark, that becomes my 'down' moments.  Down the road, I realized that I should be measuring my progress [and BTW, even my non-progress].  And WHEN I did dig deeper into my limited arsenal, I realized that I should be practicing gratitude instead of being overwhelmed with that guilt feeling that keeps haunting me back.  And WHEN my mind replays those regrets, I would pause and thank myself for at least giving it a shot.  YES dude, gratitude and guilt CAN'T just share the same breath and choosing gratitude quiets that noise❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  All throughout, two simple words kept resonating within myself over and over again and that's CHOOSING ENOUGH.  True, man's desires are unsatiable BUT should we translate that being unsatiable everyday in our lives, we will remain locked and cornered in that vicious cycle of struggles and frustrations all rolled into one.  True, even as we speak now, there are days WHEN I get drawn back to my bad habits of being better, being better off than it was yesterday OR worse, even unduly comparing with others [WHICH is a big NO-NO because no two people can be compared apples-to-apples].  YES dude, one day [sooner than later], we hope to be on the same page that that CONSTANT NEED TO BE BETTER mindset should be cut and cut clean, with NO strings and straws left to cling😡😡😡

Upsides of Failure?

 

UPSIDES OF FAILURE?  YES dude, there's a lot of them.  YES dude, even psychologists do warn us to never underestimate the magical properties of FAILURE as generally, it improves and increases our resilience in the face of even the most unfavorable outcomes in life.  BUT before we end up banging our head on the wall, regretting and becoming remorseful for one faux pas to another, experts assure us that generally it is because our societies are so overly competitive, pushing us to be so darn focused on winning that we sometimes overlook the silver linings in our life💚💛💜

WHAT's our day-to-day reality?  We have advisors, coaches and mentors swarming all around us, counselling us HOW to approach success and HOW to be winners.  Rightfully, there's NOTHING wrong with that BUT there's a huge miss here.  Few of them ever teach us, if at all, a more valuable lesson and that is, HOW can we cope with FAILURE.  Oh yes, we all heard this conventional view that someone with a near-perfect academic grades will become a near-perfect employee. Ouch💥💥💥

BUT hold on dude.  ISN'T there a glaring flaw in that line of reasoning?  A straight-A student may be the best in school may NOT have done it badly in school BUT he/she can NEVER be a near-perfect person!  WHICH means they have never been tested and if that becomes a fact, then likely they have missed out on learning to cope with FAILURE.  Fact is, an untested employee is akin to an untested solider, one WHO has not been exposed yet right at the battlefronts💧💧💧

From a balanced perspective, although it may seem perverse to claim that prior FAILURE is an advantage for a novice OR rookie, contrary to the perceived wisdom, experiencing FAILURE is actually the best qualification for any difficult occupation OR calling.  Of course, context matters here and there will be multifarious situations WHERE one's goal could be potentially achievable and NOT some inflated pipe dream.  So, WHAT exactly are the non-debatable UPSIDEs of FAILURE?  Studies show that people WHO repeatedly fail develop that persistence even in the face of adversities and recurring difficulties💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Throughout these times, people with extensive histories of FAILURE have proven time and again to survive difficulties BUT to be clear here, such dogged persistence is NOT a universal trait.  Otherwise, everyone of us would have tucked a PhD degree in our credentials.  And the downside of SUCCESS?  With SUCCESS, people tend to keep doing the same thing, ouch.  Without encouraging FAILURE, yes dude, FAILURE has its UPSIDES too😁😁😁

Our Runways In Life Are Short [Enough]!

 

YES YES dude, our RUNWAYS IN LIFE ARE SHORT ENOUGH.  Forget and ignore the enormosity of the runways at Atlanta's Jackson Airport being the busiest airport in the world OR even London's Heathrow Airport.  Drawing that parallelism between our life and those airport runways, I would strongly push my personal sentiments that our RUNWAYS IN LIFE are NOT that long enough📗📙📘

Truth to be told, the shortest commercial runway just spans 400 meters [that's at the SAB airport in the Carribean] BUT I will STILL insist that our RUNWAY IN LIFE should be and STILL is, much much shorter than that, ouch!!! WHAT does this mean to us?  Frankly, we are living with that skewed thought that we all live and have that luxury of time.  One pursuit in life can take us LIKE 6 months to a year [BUT that's a different kind of pursuit, NOT the random ones💥💥💥

I'm even tempted to take things a notch higher by comparing our pursuits in life to those VTOL [vertical takeoff and landing] aircrafts commonly seen atop those huge aircract carriers.  As strongly pitched by the late Apple Founder Steve Jobs, "THE FINITENESS OF TIME SERVES AS A CRUCIAL REMINDER TO LIVE AUTHENTICITY AND ACT WITH URGENCY".  Obviously, this one-liner wholly captures the very essense of the RUNWAYS IN LIFE because of its finiteness❎❎❎

BUT if there's a uniqueness between the opportunities in our life versus those literal RUNWAYS, in life, sometimes we would look for opportunities and sometimes it's the other way around, they would look for us.  BUT if there one huge single stumbling block many of us would face from time to time is WHEN negativity and our inability to court those opportunities would tend to blind us to those opportunities WHICH could dissipate even before you will realize that it's right there for your taking.  Born out of the realm of possibilities, opportunity comes our way WHEN we remain open for us.  Otherwise, try shutting your windows and closing your door, those opportunities may NOT likely knock on your doors, if at all.  Now, we're back to square one to revisit the FINITENESS of those RUNWAYS in LIFE😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Let's cut the messaging here, short and simple.  WHY DON'T we embrace the fact that WHENEVER opportunities knock right at our very doors, let us assume that the RUNWAY is short as it can be, leaving us very limited room to do what it takes because if you breach the very end of the RUNWAY, it would NOT just be a failure.  Worst of worst, it could end in a result that may be fatal😡😡😡

Compare and Despair!

 

NOT a threat here.  BUT try COMPARING yourself to someone else, you might end up in DESPAIR!@#$%?  Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States was widely quoted: COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.  Is that a hyperbole.  I'd say NO because that's the stark truth, the harsh reality in life.  You can have your best friend OR even your twin sibling BUT if there's one NO-NO you CAN'T breach, NEVER COMPARE because DESPAIR might come next, adding to your frustration😡😡😡

Admittedly, early in life, I seemed to have lived my life by comparing myself to others, at first in school and activities therein.  And as I matured, before I knew it, I was beginning to compare metrices LIKE job titles, income levels and when I was @SHELL, I was so tempted to compare myself with others based on CEP [the Career Expected Potential] wherein each of us were assessed NOT just on actual work performance BUT even in our CEP, i.e. whether one has the potentials to reach a specific senior leadership role in the organization.  I then discovered that there is an infinite number of categories upon WHICH we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to👇👇👇

And it is indeed alarming and extremely worrisome once we take that path of the road because we will realize there is no end those possibilities of COMPARING.  True, that tendency to COMPARE ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion.  And I'm quite sure that certainly, I am NOT alone in this kind of experience.  BUT the difficult realization here is that it becomes a decision that seems to only steal the joy from our lives❗❗❗

The one too many principles we can lift from RUBIK's LAW is just one too many indeed BUT for now, the most relevant one is this simple poster telling that once we start COMPARING ourselves to others, you and me will see all the strings of SUCCESSES of that other person.  BUT how about his flops, his failures?  You would hardly see it and worse, you will miss out appreciating its relevance and importance because those SUCCESS stories tend to take the 'center stage' of your focus, your attention and those FAILURES?  Unfortunately, you would NOT even spare a minute to look into the various dimensions of those FAILURES and pick up lessons💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  There is a not so visible trap out there WHERE we often fall prey.  And that's our initial need to look upon someone as a guide, as a role model and an INSPIRATION.  And there's nothing wrong with that!  That trap shows out its ugly head once we start getting so glued to our inspiration to a point WHEN without being aware OR conscious enough, we start COMPARING ourselves to that supposed INSPIRATION.  That's the trap WHERE many of us [and that includes me in the past] have befallen!@#$%?  Simple lesson here: NEVER COMPARE because you might end up in despair😡😡😡

Ramifications Of Our Emotions & Thinking

 

NO sirrrrs, I'm NOT venturing into the medical domain as I could be a medical illiterate as you are.  BUT for today, allow me to delve into our IMMUNE SYSTEM and HOW and WHY it is affected by our very own thoughts and emotions.  Unknown to most of us, there have been multiple extensive researches about this and all such studies share the same END POINT, i.e. that our very own thoughts and emotions directly impact our IMMUNE SYSTEM.  Indeed, those RAMIFICATIONS of our emotions & thinking👇👇👇

Obviously, it becomes imperative for us to recognize our thoughts and emotions and altogether, be aware of the effects they have NOT only on each other BUT also to our immune system.  In the simplest words, experts do warn us that poorly managed NEGATIVE emotions are NOT good for our health. All along, I [wrongly] thought that there is a complex web between our brain and our IMMUNE SYSTEM.  Apparently, that myth has been debunked by studies explaining HOW the latter may directly influence the areas of our brain that regulate emotions and even our social relationships💧💧💧

NOT to shock us all, studies proved HOW our IMMUNE SYSTEM influences specific areas of our brain WHICH are responsible for managing our emotions, e.g. anxiety and stress].  And apparently, that extends to our social behaviors.  Somehow, that paradigm shift opened and led doors to swing out in the open to a different way of treating certain emotional and thinking behaviors, thus unraveling that complex relationship between our nervous and immune systems💥💥💥

These tireless experts went rock bottom to study and figure out as to WHAT influences our moods?  And even as a shock and surprise to their very exclusive community, they admitted that they wrongly believed that the 'control center' is almost exclusively within our brain.  BUT alas, connections with other systems [like our gut] are emerging and frequently that connectivity got extended to our IMMUNE SYSTEM.  In the simplest terms, they opined that if one is an excessive thinker, constantly iterating countless WHAT IF scenarios, that can even directly impact our IMMUNE SYSTEM❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  For the longest time, I [wrongly] believed that for me to reinforce my IMMUNE SYSTEM, I should take care of my health by ensuring I have the required vitamins and with no significant deficiences.  Moreover, I also [wrongly] believed that I'll be good to go if my eating habits and intake are all healthy enough and within the bounds of what is acceptable in our daily lives.  And my BIG MISS?  I never thought that undue thinking and unstable emotions do have those scary ramifications to our IMMUNE SYSTEM😡😡😡

Focus On The Vital Few

 

In our daily lives, there are multifarious variables in every equation we got to grapple with.  Besides finding the fix and doing the balancing act, we are reminded to FOCUS ON THE VITAL FEW and NOT get so embroiled with one too many things as we may end up eating more than we can chew.  At the workplace, we always remember the Pareto Principle WHICH guides us to focus our efforts on the most impactful tasks OR activities💥💥💥

YES, that 80:20 principle is an extremely useful way of thinking about the VITAL FEW things that matter the most.  NOPE, it's NOT a mathematical formula and there is NO hard and fast way to define it.  That Pareto Principle predicts that, in many types of situations, a large majority of effects are due to a small proportion of causes.  YES, the actual numbers vary considerably BUT for now, can we agree on these 80:20 ballparks much as there will always be outliers❎❎❎

YES, sadly, over and over again, I've seen people so overwhelmed with legitimately serious problems that are highly impactful.  BUT WHEN I did dip my fingers in their cookie jar, I learned that the most common reason they got stuck with a major problem is because their sense of priority is so off-tracked, as they were more focused and exerting all their attention on those breadcrumbs, those one too many problems that belong to the list important and sometimes, problems that were serious enough BUT should have been offloaded to someone else, instead of him acting like a SUPERMAN to resolve all problems of all mankind.  Seriously, that's all about setting prirorities and realizing that you CAN'T be SUPERMAN dude!!!

Simply put, let us take a hard look at WHERE we are spending our time each day.  BTW, in my case, as I never committed on the frequency of my blog posts, my frequency has been changing over time, depending on my priorities.  Recently, the frequency of my blog posts has gone down from twice-a-day to a daily posts, all because I had to do a balancing act in view of my professional engagements with my EMEA clients which obviously has impacted my bandwidth.  BUT IF and WHEN I get hit with a problem, it is always imperative that I will revisit my priorities, that's going back to the drawing board😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  In almost any scenario, this 80/20 rule is very much relevant and applicable.  The key realization I have had through the years is that, IF EVER you get off-tracked and end up [wrongly] focused on a priority that should slide down in the pecking order, that's a recipe for a potential failure, OR worst, an imminent 'disaster'.  YES dude, let us FOCUS ON THE VITAL FIEW😀😀😀

Ditching Some Communications Habits

 

NOT to nitpick but WHEN the calendar year flips, ISN'T it about time that we take a pause as well and figure out if we've got any  COMMUNICATIONs HABITS we can possibly ditch? Allow me to share here a Tagalog one-liner "BATO-BATO SA LANGIT, ANG TAMAAN HUWAG MAGAGALIT" [translated DON'T FEEL OFFENDED WHEN YOU HEAR IT] because I'll rattle some of our most common communication habits WHICH I encourage [SHOULD I say plead OR beg] you to consider DITCHING some of these COMMUNICATION HABITS😡😡😡

• Leaving people "ON READ" - YES YES yowww you'd know WHEN you send someone an SMS and you can tell they READ it BUT they NEVER respond for 12 anxiety-filled hours.  Sounds familiar? YES, that is NOT a legislative ACT but a "DISAPPEARING ACT".  Ditch it!  
• BREADCRUMBING - That buzzy term describes the slow drip of attention that never quite develops into anything meaningful.  LIKE suggesting get-togethers that NEVER happen, with nary even a token follow-through

• MINIMIZING others' concerns - LIKE you DON'T want to get dragged into a conflict and you end up with MINIMIZATION with reactions LIKE "IT'S NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK" or "IT'S NOT LIKE A BIG DEAL"
• Video calls IN PUBLIC!@#$%? - I've seen this a zillion times.  Those are personal calls and IF you're seated next to a stranger, surely that stranger does NOT does NOT want to become that unwitting background in your video call

• TEXT-TRAPPING friends - Here's a NOT so funny exchange I witnessed:  DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR TONIGHT?  Then the SMS recipient assumes that you want to have dinner or something and WHEN your friend responds LIKE No I'm free, you retort LIKE "I need a ride to the airport tonight".  WHAT?  Holy cow!
• GUNNYSACKING - Heard someone's litany, spewing a long list of frustrations, grievances and hurt feelings [either to your partner/spouse, close friends or people you interact closely].  Studies show that this can a toll on relationships!

Our takeaway:  All these may seem petty stuff BUT it's NOT dude.  If we simply ignore these communications habits, eventually, this can take its toll on you, on people close to you [both at home, at work OR even in business].  At the end of the day, the consequences and/or ramifications will end up impacting our various levels of relationships with loved ones, with close friends, business and work colleagues.  YES dude, please do SERIOUSLY consider DITCHING SOME COMMUNICATIONS HABITS, pronto please😉😉😉

Someone's TRASH Could Be Your TREASURE

 

Our latest world population as of 2025 has hit 8.23 billion [and counting].  YET, we share a lot of commonalities across cultures, countries and even religion.  In fact, things have evolved significantly.  WHILE before, Christmas seemed to be an exclusive for Christians, these days, even other religions [YES, even athiest] have embraced it as a season to celebrate [without embracing [BUT of course] the Christian rituals].  YET, we are also different from each other.  NOT only do we look, think and act differently BUT we also like different things.  BTW, even identical twins may look the same BUT are very different individuals.  And that realization led me today to dissect the given that SOMEONE'S TRASH COULD BE YOUR TREASURE [OR the other way]📗📙📘

There are tons and tons of scenarios WHERE SOMEONE'S TRASH COULD BE YOUR TREASURE [OR the other way].  Let's rattle off randomly.  LIKE an artist's painting may look like a team of monkeys painted BUT to the artist, that's a masterpiece.  WHEN someone plays kind of 'hard rock' music, it could be an eerie noise to some BUT to someone else, that's MUSIC TO HIS EARS [and he TREASURES it]❗❗❗

YES, different strokes for different folks means that people live in dfferent ways and value different things in fact.  And one of the extreme comparison of course are those stuff WHERE one treasures, love and adores it BUT to me and you, it's akin to something that's 'throwable', NOT worth to even glance [OR worse keep] for a second.  BUT that's a fact of life we need to unconditionally embrace💚💛💜

So, WHAT does this mean to us?  Simple.  Let's NOT, by default, shun off OR shrug off something OR any stuff for the sheer fact that it's NOT our own 'cup of tea'.  Surely, there is a level of value [OR at least, usefulness] on most stuff WHICH even from your perspective you CAN'T reach that level of least appreciation.  WHO knows, today you even treat it as trash because you CAN'T ever imagine owning or needing it [BUT that's for today]. You and me would NEVER know WHAT's in store come next day, NOT in the distant future.  I've witnessed first hand people WHO ended up eating their own words because at one point, they treated something as trash BUT one day, they treasured it✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Before I get bashed for unnecessarrily spending time on petty stuff, through the years, I've witnessed storied pursuits that was at the precipice of SUCCESS but only to end up as a FAILURE because the people at the front line tagged something as TRASH WHEN it was something he should have appreciated at lease at a level of acceptance because at some point, he could have leveraged on it.  Another scary sharing here. I have seen relationships fail, all because there was a disconnect between partners/spouses simply because SOMEONE'S TREASURE was tagged outright as TRASH😡😡😡

WHAT Is the 'UNHURRIED' Pace Of Life?

 

Bonus question folks.  WHAT is the UNHURRIED pace of life?  Quick one.  There is NO answer to that question because simply put, there are NO hard numbers to be pegged to that.  NOT even if we do an apples-to-apples by comparing Elon Musk and Paul Zuckerberg.  WHY?  Because there are one too many variables that are too [constantly] fluid☝☝☝

Let's face it.  WHEN life is fast paced, we DON'T even have the time to take in much more than WHAT is immediate in that very moment, WHICH is, the task at hand.  Oh yes yes yes, I was in that kind of predicament a zillion times before even as I thought that I had an 'inner voice' telling me to PACE myself.  True, we must move through life at various paces [because there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL].  True, sometimes we're able to take a slow pace and other times we must pick that pace up😡😡😡

WHAT's our FIX?  Ultimately, we would need to search for that 'balance' because WHEN we become 'unbalanced' in the PACE of our life, it's very clear as our systems either started to deplete due to a PACE that may be too fast OR at the other end of the spectrum, WHEN we get that sort of lethargic feeling because our PACE has slowed down way too long.  YES, that's our time to take action!!!

Most of the time, we're likely being productive, we DON'T often have that time to even reflect on the current situation.  Those are the times WHEN the small details may get forgotten [OR at least at times overlooked] and in the end, we commit some silly mistakes.  Thing is, WHEN life is slow-paced way too long, it can become a challenge to sit with ourselves and that can cause that unexpected anxiety OR simply just that kind of lethargic feeling of NOT being useful.  We may begin to put too much focus on things that have very little impact in life OR focus too much even on the lives of others.  At this point, we have NOT even discussed that moderate PACE, that kind of PACE which should make us comfortable😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  At times, the PACE in our life moves around in a way that can push us in one direction OR the other.  LIKE if your close friend is in a highly PACED life, likely OR not, they might [unwittingly] pull you to their much faster PACE.  So, WHILE we we have set our own PACE, the influence of others can change that as well.  At the end of the day, we should mitigate that risk of external factors impacting our very self-dictated PACE just right for us!!!

If We Were A Pollywog, WHY Dream To Be A Lion?

 

YES YES yow, if you're a pollywog, DON'T ever dream to be a lion!  The thing is, in life, sometimes we tend to overlook WHAT we are, WHERE we came from and HOW's our capabilities and potentials.  That misguided confidence could probably explain WHY even in my own country, in all presidential elections, there are nusisance candidates WHO are actually nuisance candidates.  Of course, the government's Election Commission crafted laws to manage those nuisance candidates BUT again, WHEN executed, those laws had more holes and pitfalls than well-tightened execution parameters.  In our life, we often hear that we need to be aggressive and assertive as we plot out our goals and ambitions in life.  And I'll admit that I am one of its firm believers.  And I'll humbly admit that I did reap a number of modest successes in life, no thanks to being aggressive enough.  BUT lest I be doubted as taking back my words, I'll openly admit that as a pollywog, I never dreamt to be a lion, huhuhu❎❎❎

The thing is, much as ambitions in life are more often deemed positive and encouraging, let's face it, NOT every Tom, Dick and Harry is best to aspire to be a lion if he's a pollywog.  I myself, much as I am an ardent student and follower of geo-politics, never in my life have I dreamt to even come approximately close to someone with the vast geo-politics power of Donald Trump OR Vladimir Putin.  NOT even in my dreams.  WHY?  Simple dude.  I know that as a pollywog, I CAN'T dream to be a lion👌👌👌

Dude, you can always retort that everyone is entitled to be a dreamer.  Ja.  Oo, Shi Die.  Si.  BUT my blunt unsolicited advice, that's just fine to be nursing even the biggest dreams ever BUT let's leave it at that.  Hoping you DON'T unnecessarily spend so much resources for a lost cause.  Hoping you DON'T exert unncessary efforts for an exercise in futility💥💥💥

Instead, let us funnel the biggest chunk of our attention, efforts, priorities and resources on endeavors and initiatives that are realistic enough, doable and achievable.  WHY waste your resources, energy and time on something that is, hands down, deemed as a LOST CAUSE?  WHAT gains will you reap off then?  True, it could boost one's confidence BUT from a benefits-cost analysis, WHEN we're in a lost cause, WHAT is left for us to justify the unneccessary spend of efforts and resources, NOT counting the undue pressures and stress one has to endure, NO thanks for thinking that a pollywog can be a lion, ouch❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  This is as crystal clear as the pristine waters of Maldives.  You should know yourself INSIDE OUT, with NO unknowns, NO IFs, NO BUTs.  It's never a crime to dream BIG BUT if we were to dream things way beyond WHAT we are capable of, does the end justify that 'BIGTIME' dream itself?  At the end of the day, dreams are meant to help us visualize and crystallize all the ambiguities into concreteness.  From thereon, we wil draft our 'blueprint' WHICH will become the basis for us to execute our gameplan[s].  Indeed, If We Were A Pollywog, WHY Dream To Be A Lion?  Think about it dude.  Dreams that remain dreams on paper needs us to rethink things over and over again dude😡😡😡