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Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY

Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY

Is it ture that Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY?  Me thinks YESBUT not for us to get despaired because studies do share how we can avoid being caught in that TRAP.  To borrow a common expression of hikers in North America's Appalachian Mountains:  HIKE YOUR OWN HIKE', that is, resist the urge to COMPARE how many miles you cover in a day how far other hikers are traveling.  Nevertheless, let's admit the urge to make comparisons is strong amongst us๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ท๐Ÿ’ต

Indeed, making COMPARISONS can be harmful and detract from our HAPPINESS.  Sadly, the ways we make COMPARISONS may give us a biased account of our own skills, experiences and capabilities.  Research shows that what underlies this dilemma is FOMO [that FEAR of MISSING OUT] and the sense that others have better social lives than ourselves do.  Apparently, quite many people feel that they spend more time ALONE, go to fewer parties and are part of fewer social circles than other people, including their close friends.  BUT apparently, the root cause of this is comparing oneself to highly visible and sociable people๐Ÿ“—๐Ÿ“™๐Ÿ“˜
Our common mistakes revolve around making biased comparisons in other domains, like when we compare ourselves to the fittest person, the best cook we know.  Unsurprisingly, this means that we feel that we fall short of others WHEN we evaluate our own fitness, our cooking and so on.  However, it's clear that WHO we compare ourselves to matters, is something we can control๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž

To quote social cognitive psychologists, their studies show that WHEN we want to feel better about ourselves, we make COMPARISONS to people worse off than we are [or even think of ways that things might have been worse than they are].  WHEN we want to improve, though, we COMPARE ourselves to people WHO are better than we are❌❌❌

This becomes especially effective if we COMPARE ourselves to people we feel like we can realistically become.  In short, COMPARISONS can be the THIEF OF JOY but studies are giving us antidotes.  Primero, recognize that you're likely using an unrealistic target when evaluating yourself.  Segundo, consider WHAT you're trying to achieve when making a COMPARISON.  Tercero, if COMPARISONS have you feeling down, spend some time thinking about POSITIVES, hoping you'll realize that in general, people are NO BETTER THAN YOU❗❗❗

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