Are You An ALPHA OR A True ALPHA?

 

WHO DOESN'T want to be an ALPHA?  Of course, everyone wants and even dreams to become one.  And I'm sure, if we do a random check out in the streets, a good majority will claim [and conclude] that they are a true-blue ALPHA.  Seriously, there's just a very loose definition of WHAT an ALPHA is, such that, many have mistakenly believed that they are a true-blue ALPHA in everyday life📘📙📗

To quote one stereotype definition of a True ALPHA, they are defined as in possession of themselves and they ensure that their own passions DON'T end up running their lives.  In one of my previous business trips, after one long day of back-to-back huddles and meetings, my hosts brought me to their favorite winery and out of nowhere, a stranger joined us, engaging in our conversation like any normal human being would💜💛💚

Before I knew it, he began to dominate our group tete-a-tete and later on, this gentleman managed to turn around our conversations all about himself, whew!  As I have a good handle to find a true-blue ALPHA, I knew it, this guy was an ALPHA male in the flesh.  The original ALPHA Male theory goes something like this:  Human society is structured like a wolf pack and at the top of the pack is the dominant ALPHA male.  Think of that leader WHO shoots out orders and NEVER takes NO for an answer.  YES, from time to time, we do all run into these True ALPHAs even in our everyday lives.  If it's NOT at the corporate boardrooms, we can stumble across them WHILE you're queueing either at the bank OR even at the train station❌❌❌

BUT NOT to tear apart all the positivities of a True ALPHA, WHILE the True ALPHA  has the unsullied reputation of being a strong leader WHO seems to have all the right answers [besides ticking all the boxes], at times, I did observe that even a True ALPHA can be quite loud and for lack of a better adjective, obnoxious at times.  That's WHEN he gets his way through sheer brute force of his own will😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  My own take here is that, regardless WHETHER we claim to be a True ALPHA OR NOT, all of us need to prove that we excel on many things and would stand out even if you're in the middle of a mamooth crowd.  As things have evolved, ALPHA Theory 2.0 is interesting because a key attribute of a True ALPHA is one WHO remains moderate in their consumption of both food and alcohol.  Taking a step farther, they will get enough sleep and sufficient exercise.  And to quote studies, beyond the physical realm, the True ALPHAs will lead a well-ordered spiritual life.  Whether this remains ideal as such, it all boils down for us to buckle down and be sincerely honest enough on the path you want to take to be a True ALPHA😁😁😁

Ambiguity and Uncertainty

On the surface, AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY seem to be very much on the same wavelength BUT it's NOT!  WHILE both AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY both refer to situations WHERE there is a lack of understanding OR clarity BUT AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY are NOT the same!  For alignment, let's agree that AMBIGUITY refers to a state of being unclear and can arise from having multiple options and lack of clarity on either the best OR the most appropriate option.  For brevity, WHEN something is ambiguous, it is unclear as to WHAT it means, and it may be interpreted in another way📗📙📘
 

On the other hand, UNCERTAINTY goes beyond implying a certain lack of information OR knowledge about a particular situation OR even an outcome.  WHICH means, even the possible outcome seems unknown, lest can it be predicted with confidence.  UNCERTAINTY arises WHEN we DON'T have all the facts OR WHEN we CAN'T accurately assess the probability of different outcomes😡😡😡

You might wonder, WHY are we spending time between AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY?  Simple.  One too many confusions would then surface simply because someone thought that there's AMBIGUITY WHEN in truth, he is UNCERTAIN.  And sometimes, one [wrongly] thought he is UNCERTAIN WHEN in truth, he is no less AMBIGUOUS❗❗❗

WHAT this tells us is that even the most petty thing can get blown out of proportions once that mix-up between AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY surfaces.  As both AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY can create challenges for decision-making and problem-solving, nevertheless they both require more information and clarification.  There's a key differentiation though because if one faces UNCERTAINTY, that may kind of necessitate and need a level of risk assessment and a step farther, contingency planning❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Quite a recurring but subtle scenario that seems to hit us is that conundrum WHEN we ourselves are unaware and/or unconscious if a certain question befuddling us is triggered by variables related to AMBIGUITY OR UNCERTAINTY.  I did bear witness multiple times WHEN protagonists started off with some level of confusion BUT the situation exacerbated WHEN the protagonists failed to pin down and clear up WHETHER WHAT's hitting him was either AMBIGUITY OR UNCERTAINTY.  Sweeping it under the carpet will only cause it to resurface again💥💥💥

Being Likened To An Onion?

 

Being Likened To An Onion?  NOT good to be tagged that way, WHETHER it's true OR not because assuming one is NOT ONION-skinned, somehow, it gets to tarnish OR besmirch the clean image OR reputation of someone WHO may have taken a lifetime to be as clean and as 'spotless' as one can be, and it DOESN'T matter if a persona happens to be a public [appointed OR elected] official💡💡💡

NOT to defend government OR public officials BUT it is regrettable WHEN one tends to be onion-skinned.  Through the years, I did witness multiple behaviors and manifestations of being ONION-skinned [and I admit that once OR twice, I also exhibited those manifestations].  BUT you might wonder if I got stuck to those manifestation?  Straight from my experiences, I realized that there was NOTHING positive I can derive from those behaviors.  During those isolated episodes, I was veering more on the negativities in life, WHICH never brought me closer to the positive aspects in life📘📙📗

Picking up from my real-life experiences WHEN it comes to ONION-skinned manifestations, I did realize that there was NOTHING positive that ever arose from it.  Did I pick up lessons?  That was a tough call to make because I realized that WHEN one is ONION-skinned, he tends to be 'flummoxed' because at the end of the day, he tends to see only those things he wants to see [and he CAN'T see things he is averse]💥💥💥

SO HOW?  Many times, I realized that for someone to reach that 'realization', it takes one WHO has gone through the same gauntlet to call a spade a spade.  WHY?  It boils down to one's credibility and WHAT better credibility than coming from someone WHO's been through the same predicament and challenges.  Imagine hearing from someone WHO's hardly gone through those battles and wars in life?  YES, that's really human nature.  We tend to give credibility to folks WHO have gone through the same ordeals, similar challenges.  I did bear witness of someone WHO kept preaching all the correct things in life BUT WHEN he was asked, 'DID YOU GO THROUGH IT?', he got stomped and flummoxed😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Being ONION-SKINNED may NOT be an earth-shaking issue BUT unless it is rectified, the end-loser are NOT the people you interact with BUT it's YOU, it's us if we're that ONION-SKINNED.  To a fault, we tend to be oblivious of our frailties, our shortfalls BUT it takes courage and sheer honesty for one to admit he's ONION-SKINNED because recognition and acceptance is always the first step way before you can ever rectify it.  So, are you BEING LIKENED TO AN ONION???

Think Like An OPTIMIST, Plan Like A PESSIMIST!

 

Theoretically, an OPTIMIST and a PESSIMIST may seem to be poles apart BUT alas, we could be both, all rolled into one, AHA!  For now, my thoughts is NOT something new BUT allow me to tweak my age-old 'GLASS HALF-FULL GLASS HALF-EMPTY' mindset and for a lack of a better term, I'll coin this as my OPTIMISTIC PESSIMISM, sort of📗📙📘

For clarity, I am NOT exactly a subscriber to the OPTIMIST versus PESSIMIST thing because even as we speak now, I never saw this stuff as either black OR white as I always embraced my proposition that NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL.  And as our own personality traits DON'T seem to appear to be as stable as we used to think, , it just leads our own 'worldviews'  relatively malleable.  And I prefer to think of these outlooks as my owned learned responses😌😌😌

Over time, we learn to view the world one way OR another, often based on our experiences [rather than some inherent trait].  Problem here is that quite sometimes, we tend to give our preferential attention to certain types of experiences [regardless if such experiences are indeed representative of our lives [because, often they are outliers].  LIKE we seem more prone to attending to circumstances that we perceive as negativeand weighing those experiences in our own interpretation of the world💚💛💜

In the end, we're more likely to survive if only we can put greater emphasis on something that is either dangerous OR at least risky rather than on something that seems pleasant [OR neutral at worst].  Over time, I'd admit that it's quite easy to learn to view our world as one damn crappy place and for many of us, that could be no farther from the truth itself.  LIKE living in a war zone OR dealing with constant [i'll call it CHRONIC] stress OR worse, even violence [HOW often we hear about those mass killings, of which, the latest happened in Bangkok] leading us to predisposed with a pessimistic worldview although stress ISN'T life threatening OR even highly traumatising for now😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  WHILE often overused, this notion of OPTIMISM and PESSIMISM is often overused OR oversimplified.  On one hand, OPTIMISM represents one's perception of event as more likely to have a positive OR pleasant outcome WHEREAS the downside of that viewpoint is that our world is just full of debacles [i'll call it disappointments and challenges].  So, WHAT IF WE THINK LIKE AN OPTIMIST AND PLAN LIKE A PESSIMIST?  Does that hold water???

DOESN'T Matter If You Started Early Or Late

 

WHO says THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM?  Me Me Me, I said it a zillion times and even as we speak now, I truly believe in it.  BUT if I tweak my question and ask if DOES IT MATTER IF YOU STARTED EARLY OR LATE?  No Senor, for many compelling reasons, it DOESN'T matter at all, NOT to me at least.  IF I have to defend my dissertation and IF this happens to be my thesis, the very core of this idea is that the FINAL OUTCOME, the FINISH, the END RESULT is all that matters.  NOT WHEN did you start it out.  NOT HOW long did it take you to traverse that journey from Point A to Point C [via Point B OR any other forked road[s]]😡😡😡

In my early twenties, I thought I was doing everything right [BUT I was wrong].  I thought I was working damn hard, kicking my ass hard enough, and WHERE possible, I intentionally avoided the multiple distractions WHICH came in different forms and shapes camouflaged as teasers.  WHILE some of my colleagues were out chilling OR travelling [OR for some, they were just biding their own sweet time], I was so immersed [and submerged] into my 'building blocks'💚💛💜

I then thought that IF I started that early up front and IF I can put in the work as early as then, I would gain that headstart and eventually all my efforts and timings will pay off.  Oh Oh, moving fast forward, I'll admit that my results and my records then were spotty at best.  I achieved some.  I failed in some.  NOT the best record that can give me the bragging rights BUT enough to push me farther.  Learning skills was one.  I thought if I equipped myself early on, that would give me the edge.   At that time, IBM's Lotus Notes was lording it over the market and I [wrongly] thought then that if I equipped myself with its LotusScript and its Formula Language, I will zoom ahead of the pack💥💥💥

Alas, I was all wrong because eventually, IBM's hold of the Lotus Notes market dissipated faster than WHAT I anticipated.  End result?  I was like holding a huge pail of water that was empty after all.  WHY?  WHEN I started early on in the game?  This brings me back to full circle that it DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU STARTED EARLY OR LATE because at the end of the day, the world we live in is too fluid, with one too many dynamics that get into the equation😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Some of my realizations [WHICH I summarized below] did sink in enough for me to get back on track:

• WHEN you hustle early, you expect to fall into place sooner
• WHEN checking all the boxes, think 5 to 10 steps way ahead
• WHEN you have a blueprint, LIFE does NOT always follow it
• WHEN you are so focused in your journey, MURPHY's Law can kick in, ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL GO WRONG.  In a nutshell, got to have a Plan A, B and C!!!

Yes, We Can Sprint In Life

We always heard, LET'S NOT SPRINT BECAUSE LIFE IS A MARATHON.  I just WON'T agree less with the fact that LIFE IS A MARATHON but I'll be the first to disagree if someone tells me that we CAN'T SPRINT?  C'mon dude.  Even in various organizations, you would hear SMALL SPRINTS in 'war rooms' either for operations and projects!!!

Let's try to be on the same page here.  So WHAT do SMALL SPRINTS really mean?  Simply put, it refers to the very popular best practices of breaking down huge or complex goals OR projects into shorter and more manageable 'time-boxed' periods a.k.a. SPRINTS to achieve material and tangible progress and keep that motivation going💧💧💧

So, the bigger question, HOW do we achieve BIG progress in small blocks of time called SPRINTS?  One expert was widely quoted like:  YOU DON'T NEED HOURS OF FREE TIME TO MAKE PROGRESS.  ALL YOU NEED IS 20 MINUTES OF FOCUSED EFFORT.  Oh YES, I vividly remember one time in the past WHEN my frenetic schedules really 'hostaged' me from dawn till sunset and in between, I had like a few blocks of 20 minutes to spare📌📌📌

So, WHAT I did, instead of waiting for that PERFECT block of time WHICH will never come, I decided to tackle one small piece of task in between those chunks of schedules.  Oh Oh, would you believe, those fragments of 20 minute-windows changed everything.  And I realized I DIDN'T need hours and hours BUT instead, all I needed was to put on the focus within the duration of those small-small windows.  And from that time on, I adopted that approach of squeezing those SMALL SPRINTS in between my frenetic schedules, and that approach really paid off💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  True, our lives are always BUSY and IF it's NOT busy, it's BUSIER and finding time to tackle meaningful work often feels like a battle against the clock.  Many productivity systems do demand hours of focus OR intricate planning WHICH can feel impractical in a whirlwind of meetings and all those distractions.  This explains WHY I embraced those 20-minute SPRINTS as I realized I could use those small 20-minute gaps in my schedule to chip away at big rocks to achieve progress.  That's WHY, let's agree, YES, WE CAN SPRINT IN LIFE😗😗😗

Moves On The Margins Matter Most

 

In life, there are tons and tons of MOVES to make.  There's that trail-blazing one, the architect-focused one, the strategic one, the tactical one and WHEN we're faced with risks, we'll be swift and quick with our mitigations.  HOW's the MOVES ON THE MARGIN?  Surely, that is a discussion LESS revisited as it is more often situated along the margins, those borders, those fringes WHICH are definitely NOT in the line of sight and more often, NOT even within our awareness📗📙📘

Most common dilemma is that, WHEN we're IN THE MARGINS, we tend to lose that focus as a result of that loss of momentum.  Compare that to those times WHEN we are on a juggernaut, on a winning streak.  Problem is, during those times WHEN we seem to be IN THE MARGINs, we tend to lose touch with the need to think of something that will MOVE THE NEEDLE.  So, WHEN we are overwhelmed and unfocused, that's WHEN we will miss that opportunity to be that NEEDLE MOVER as opposed to goals.  As goals are binary, we would achieve them and feel great OR w DON'T and end up feeling down OR even lousy.  YES, we WON'T always achieve the exact result we want💚💛💜

Swing over to be a NEEDLE MOVER and expect that the result and outcome of your pursuit would have that significant impact on your success.  YES, we can break down the result into actions and once we determine that we can MOVE ON THE MARGINs and maybe be a NEEDLE MOVER, we can create that action plan to achieve the tangible results💥💥💥

YES, a NEEDLE MOVER will often lead us to excitement and even build the momentum arising from the successful results.  Looking back, I realized that MOVES ON THE MARGINS by itself may seem quite a daring OR aggressive move even to the tenacious one.  And to complicate things, for those MOVES ON THE MARGINs, we would at times have been left with very little breathing room to even envision oneself to even become a NEEDLE MOVER.  SO HOW?  I would always counsel folks in dire straits to take ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Never be over-smart enough by being 'recklessly' aggressive because instead of mitigating a risk, such an abrasive move can even raise the severity level of the risk at hand😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Many times, I've witnessed up front WHEN even before we get in the middle of dire straights, some would even simply throw the towel way too early, even before breaching the margins.  And by the time they reach those boundaries, it's all moot and academic because they have given up way too early.  Point of contention is that, in life, let us continue pushing hard even when things are getting tougher because, much as I hardly believe in magic or miracles, they do happen NOT out of sheer luck but it all boils down through persistence and patience😊😊😊

Be Wary Of Those 'UNSUBSCRIBE' Buttons & Links

 

NOT to scary you out BUT here's the latest creative scam trick.  HOLD YOUR BREATH.  Hitting that 'UNSUBSCRIBE' button OR link from an email list seems so simple and no-brainer.  Except that rarely does it ever fully work, if at all [WHEN in fact you could have been aware that you will UNSUBSCRIBE from that same list in a year.  I used to have 10,000+ mails undeleted in my mailbox and now it's down to 500+📗📙📘

Too bad that DOESN'T seem to be our biggest worry anymore.  WHAT with those convenient UNSUBSCRIBE buttons OR links.  BUT hey, top security experts advise us that hitting the leave-me-alone box is now a security risk as hackers are using that UNSUBSCRIBE button as a means to get you to click and even capture your personal information.  Reality is, these days, in addition to the flood of spam text messages we receive on a daily basis, your email inbox is likely filled with newsletters, promotions, and other messages that you DON'T even care to read OR perhaps DON'T know WHY you receive.  BUT you SHOULDN'T just start clicking those UNSUBSCRIBE links because it may open you up to certain cybersecurity risks💥💥💥

And while those email UNSUBSCRIBE links may seem innocuous, especially if you generally trust the sender, cybersecurity experts say that there are a number of ways in WHICH threat actors can leverage those links for malicious purposes.  Like responding to a SPAM text OR answering a SPAM call OR clicking that UNSUBSCRIBE link confirms that your email address is active, giving those cyber criminals an incentive to strike on you❌❌

Security researches showed that there were numerous [unreported] cases WHEREIN those UNSUBSCRIBE links can be 'hijacked' to send users to phising websites, redirecting them as exposed targets WHERE you end up being prompted to enter your credentials to complete the process [of UNSUBSCRIPTION].  Experts said that statiscally, 1 in every 600 clicks of email UNSUBSCRIBE links can land you on a malicious website, whoaaah😡😡😡

SO HOW?  Experts advise us to follow these:  In GMail, tap 'MORE'  then 'MANAGE SUBSCRIPTIONS' in your left-hand navigation bar [MENU---> MANAGE SUBSCRIPTIONS] and scroll to the sender.  Click UNSUBSCRIBE to the right of the number of emails sent recently.  Alternatively, UNSUBSCRIBE from individual emails by opening the message and clicking that unique UNSUBSCRIBE button embedded within.  In some cases, you will be redirected back to the sender's website to complete the process [and that's fine BUT ensure you're in a legit site] .  Be wary [and worried] of UNSUBSCRIBE scams!!!

When Things Go Sideways, DON'T Go With It!

 

There's this funny one-liner:  WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS, DON'T GO WITH IT!  Of course we CAN'T take this literally because sometimes, WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS, we're IN IT, LIKE we're onboard that vehicle that goes SIDEWAYS.  BUT the catch here is that some of us get carried away by such [almost] tragic circumstances such that we would often end up stuck and immediately raising the WHITE FLAG because some of us would always end up with that 'GAME OVER' attitude.  WHAT many of us would get mixed up is that life is NOT akin to competitive sports.  Life is NOT an NBA game.  It's neither a soccer game wherein when the buzzer sounds, it's really GAME OVER😡😡😡

True, we're living our life intentionally.  We know WHERE we're headed and WHAT really matters to us.  And we're actively cultivating WHAT we're best at.  And often, we're developing that strong personal foundation to support our life, both at home, at work and even in our other endeavors.  And EVEN WHEN life seems to be 'rocking' along, that DOESN'T mean that we're immune to OR separate from the world around us.  Truth is, we are certainly NOT immune and we're reminded of that from time to time, especially when we stumble down💚💛💜

Sometimes, it can seem that every day is filled with uncertainties, right from the time you wake up and WHEN sometimes you find fault because you ended up on the wrong side of the bed?  It's during those times WHEN meaningful self-care feels important.  WHEN we need those inner foundations we've built to keep us strong.  WHEN we hug the people close to us and also virtually, the ones we have NEVER even met.  WHEN we need to see and be the good.  YES, I remember wanting to write about this more than once before [those times WHEN the breaking news included terrorist attacks. natural calamities and those kind of stuff that would test our mettle to the hilt💥💥💥

I had supposedly typical uneventful days UNTIL one day, my laptop's hard drive crashed then followed by some 'foul-up' in the Window's auto-updates.  WHICH meant NOT just losing stuff but the bigger realization I had during those seemingly uneventful days is that I lost that momentum [WHEN I thought I was already then going on full throttle].  That kind of snags we hit, those are very typical triggers to throw us SIDEWAYS, and worse, to throw off our schedules and priorities😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  Allow me to piggy-back to that catchy one-liner:  WHEN THINGS GO WRONG, DON'T GO WITH THEM.  Having a life and work you love, or work towards that, DOESN'T mean that bad things WON'T happen in your world. It DOESN'T mean you WON'T get disrupted.  It DOESN'T mean that you WON'T lose your loved one OR get injured via some freak accident.  It DOESN'T mean you're immune to the sudden disappearance of your job, your very lifeline.  WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS, DON'T GO WITH IT dude😖😖😖

Are There More Spurts Than Sparks In Life?

 

Are There More Spurts Than Sparks In Life?  True, we like SPURTS in life.  LIKE those rapid changes of growth of a baby.  LIKE a growing child WHO quickly learns the basic and rudiments during the early schooling.  BUT WHAT differentiates SPURTS from SPARKS is an immense sheet of an ocean.  So, WHILE everyone of us would welcome those SPURTS in life, NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS because those SPARKS in life would offer us multiple times more compared to those SPURTS, either in its material change OR impact to our life.  WHY?  Only those SPARKS can ignite and fuel your engine to go full throttle.  Just NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS because you deserve MORE THAN JUST SPURTS📗📙📘

Problem is, many of us [and that makes me guilty in the past as well] are so mesmerized with SPURTS such that WHEN SPURTS do happen, it's like the best thing to ever happen in life.  UNTIL it dissipates.  UNTIL it goes pfft.  UNTIL it evaporates in thin air.  UNTIL we then realize WHEN those SPURTS are more LIKE a dud more than anything near real💚💛💜

So WHAT'S your SPARK?  WHAT is something that makes you excited to get up in the morning and gives you energy?  WHATEVER your vision is, that is your SPARK?  True, today's Gen Alpha and Gen Beta may NOT know WHAT their SPARK is today and it may change many times over their lives BUT we can start our day to explore HOW generosity could SPARK meaning in one's day in life💦💦💦

Even as layment and non-psychologists, let's dissect with curiosity as to what differentiates SPARKS versus mere SPURTS?  WHAT is something that gets you up in the morning so eager to take on the day?  WHAT gives you that joy and seemingly bottomless energy?  And WHAT gives you that enormous hope and seemingly boundless optimism combined with zest and excitement all rolled into one💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  SPARKS will rarely, if at all, just happen instantly in a flip of a finger.  Instead, SPARKS need that to get developed and nurtured.  BUT more than anything else, we need to get that freedom to develop our respective SPARK for it to thrive.  Because, more than just those SPURTS, it is those SPARKS that will ignite our 6-cylinder engines for it to go full throttle.  So, would you SETTLE FOR LESS with just those intermittent, random and likely rare SPURTS?  Instead of going for the legitimate SPARKs in life?  So, ARE THERE MORE SPURTS THAN SPARKS IN LIFE???