When Do We SLOW DOWN?

 

WHEN DO WE SLOW DOWN?  In the SMARTPARENTING website, I came across earlier today this shared experience dated 06.25.2025 of a 'runner dad' who had a stroke at the very young age of 33 years old.  As an occupational therapist, he was so conscious of health and fitness to the extent that he went into running and marathons.  Shockingly, this seemingly fit young dad suffered a STROKE right after one of his regular running exercises.  This young dad admitted that he does running every week, boxing every week and even does cross-training twice a week.  In their domestic household, the husband used to be the extrovert handling ALL of the family's needs WHILE the wife was the introvert.  After that STROKE, it was a reversal of roles with the wifey now 'running the show' so to speak [and to his hubby's frustrations]📗📙📘

WHAT this tells us all is that in life, we can prioritize our career, our work, our business and commercial endeavors BUT one priority is often missed by many of us [and I was guilty of that for the longest time NOT until the recent years] and that's our proactive care of our health.  Taking a lift from that smartparenting featured article, allow me to paste EN TOTO the 'hard lessons' learned by the 33 year old [supposedly fit and prim] stroke-hit young dad💥💥💥

• SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL - This young dad used to wake up at 3AM [regardless as to what time he hit the sack the previous night, all because he has to complete his runs and exercise religiously, consistently.  After he got hit with that stroke, he now ensures to sleep at least eight hours each night, even using nasal strips and mouth tape to help in sleep quality
• CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - WHEN we're down [especially if our health gets hit], we will need all the support [NOT just financials] but equally important are the emotional support & words of encouragements💚💛💜

Lastly, this young dad realized how GRIT and SELF-DISCIPLINE really matters.  He had this realization with his life-changing conditions WHERE he had to literally 'RELEARN' things, even movements that he used to do so almost effortlessly BUT for the duration of his recovery, every single step and movement was an ardous torture, not withstanding the fact that the whole recovery process was paintakingly long❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Seriously, there is NO perfect advice that can guide us as to HOW much and HOW far and HOW fast should our frenetic pace in life should really be.  And WHAT complicates a supposedly simple equation here is that for one WHO could be athletic and even a health buff at that, we need to figure out WHEN to SLOW DOWN even all our physical conditionings and healthy exercises because the challenge here is that the threshold line is NOT even pre-determined to tell us WHEN TO SLOW DOWN😡😡😡

IF You Have To STOP Controlling and LET GO, LET IT GO!

 

WHO does NOT want to CONTROL?  BUT the bigger question is WHERE does that habitual and conditioned need to CONTROL came from in the first place?  As the confused lot would exclaim, WHAT are the signs of it in our bodies and lives and HOW can we let the CONTROL go and embrace more trust?  Verily true, that is NOT always an easy thing to do BUT it is necessary for us to evolve and grow into the being that the universe means us to be.  YES YES yowww, we owe it to ourselves to evolve.  So,IF You Have To STOP Controlling and LET GO, LET IT GO📗📙📘

Now, let's listen from the experts WHO are telling us that CONTROL IS UNCONSCIOUS.  They support this conclusion alongside the foundational nervous system called our PRIMAL BRAIN.  And as we look to those we count on to teach and protect us, we see that they control a great deal of their thoughts and emotions.  And DON'T be surprised WHEN they categorically state that that CONTROL ISN'T something that is done consciously as we learn things from our parents and even the generations before💧💧💧

We then get a sense of WHAT is and is NOT acceptable and we subconsciously learn to build walls around the parts of ourselves that are considered unacceptable.  So, the biggest thing we learn is that everyone around us is trying like hell NOT to feel their human vulnerability.  And uncertainty comes with being human and this then becomes something we tend to learn that we must fight against, which is an irony💥💥💥

YES, I grabbed this poster because it calls a spade a spade.  WHY if someone wants to leave?  WHY if you need support BUT it's NOT coming?  WHY if you thought you should be part of an event BUT you were uninvited?  WHY if it used to be, people seem to look upon you as someone up in a pedestal [if NOT Mount Rushmore] BUT these days, people seem oblivious that you exist right at their very nose?  We can go on and on, life can be damn hard WHEN we get confronted with these endless 'WHY's' with nary an answer😔😔😔

Our takeaway:  Zillion times we have been peppered with this harsh reminder:  THAT IF it is NOT meant for you OR me, so be it.  And the downside here is that if we attempt to exert more CONTROL to reign in those 'UNCONTROLLABLES' that we deem unacceptable and avoid feeling uncertainty and vulnerability, we may likely end up creating conflict with life itself.  So, IF YOU HAVE TO STOP CONTROLLING AND LET GO, LET IT GO❗❗❗

Turning A New Leaf Has Always Been An Enigma

 

WHEN I was a neophyte in the workforce, I envisioned myself getting into office early every day, spending several hours virtuously with my daily task list and then knocking off from work by 5pm, to drive home, weaving through the metro traffic gridlock [WHICH simply worsened beyond the seams till to date].  And I thought that I'll be Turning Over a New Leaf BUT that has always been an enigma📗📙📘

Instead, by the time I did hit the sack, I was lying awake all night, agonizing over everything I'd said that day, sleeping late and rolling into office come next day pretty much in bad shape.  And at that point, I was like drowning in self-recrimination.  Paradoxically, the office I dreamed off for the longest time now felt like the scene of a crime I had committed against myself.  And it seemed that I'd killed off my chance for a good day before I've ever gotten out of bed and by then, there was nothing I could do to resuscitate it.  So, I ended up occupying myself with some busywork💥💥💥

Surely, some of you would have had those similar mornings OR afternoons or weeks I went through.  True, there are good reasons WHY we wind up thinking about changes this way BUT the thing that turns this into a trap is that it is a problem that disguises itself as a solution.  Problem is, the more we try to do it right from the beginning, the more stuck we become😌😌😌

So, WHAT's our fix here?  I WON'T mince words here and I'll bluntly say that, WHERE possible, NEVER wait for you to end up like a dried, worn out leaf to egg you to TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.  In layman's terms, NEVER wait for the last alarm and final warning siren to push you into action.  YES, at times we may feel seemingly stuck BUT we DON'T have to stay stuck on the lame and 'inexcusable' excuse that we have been overtaken by events because that is just 'inexcusable'❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  The most apt parallelism we can draw here is in LEARNING itself because THAT DIDN'T stop WHEN we graduated and left our university's portals.  And THAT DIDN'T stop WHEN we started to receive our monthly pay cheque.  WHY?  Because everything in life has an EXPIRATION DATE.  Nothing is embedded in the cobbled stones and concrete.  We got to refresh ourselves, reinvent and reinforce our very own self even if TURNING A NEW LEAF has always been like an ENIGMA😊😊😊

Don't Pickup The Binoculars Until You Know What to See

 

YES YES Yowwww, there are times in our life WHEN we are super-duper eager-beaver to achieve the mother of all our successes.  BUT alas, there are those WHO, in the end, seem confused and lost.  And in the midst of the chaotic situation, they will be tempted to grab for binoculars, thinking and believing that once they get glued through it, they will find their clear path towards their cherished goal.  BUT Don't Pickup The Binoculars Until You Know What to See.  On the surface, things may look so simple to handle until you get bogged down and stalled.  And once you pick up your pieces, you come across forked roads and nowhere to go📘📙📗

BTW, this dilemma of seemingly getting lost along the way is NOT limited to teens OR those in their 30s OR even to the retired pensioners because figuring out your direction in life can and may happen at any point in one's life.  WHICH reminds me of some people shocked to learn that someone in his advanced age suddenly seems lost in life [just like teenagers].  So, WHEN do we become vulnerable to getting lost along the way???

Anytime you're NOT satisfied in life, dude. And quite surprisingly, studies show that the most prevalent root cause of us getting lost along the way is our unconsciousness and unawareness that we have breached from thinking to overthinking.  And quite an alarm because the studies showed that 73% of those between 25 to 35 years old and even 52% of those between 45 to 55 years old chronically OVERTHINK.  
And WHILE taking time to THINK about big life decisions is important, OVERTHINKING leads to paralysis , deferred decisions and inaction💧💧💧

There's a quite uncommon fallacy most of us are NOT aware of.  Many of us [wrongly] think that finding the right direction in life is something that happens to us.  BUT it's NOT!  WHICH means, at some point, we have to stop thinking about taking action and start acting.  And researches also show that one of the most common reasons people DON'T act is FEAR.  They're scared of messing up things and scared that things will NOT work out favorably for them💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  As this did happen a few to me before, WHAT I learned [the hard way] is to trust your own instincts.  As it is our primal internal urges and alarms that help keep us alive, let us listen [and take an extra step of interpreting] those urges especially WHEN an impending decision may seriously impact our well-being.  Surely you heard someone muttered like:  IF I WOULD HAVE JUST GONE WITH WHAT I THOUGHT, THIS WON'T HAVE HAPPENED'.  Truth is, nine times out of ten, there are tell-tale signs a.k.a. red flags and things that feel 'a little off' about a situation that we simply shrug off and dismiss.  Worse, let us NOT pickup the binoculars UNTIL we know WHAT to see💚💛💜

How Much Effort Is Needed For Relationships?

 

How Much Effort Is Needed For Relationships?  BTW, me thinks that RELATIONSHIPs should not be a boring thread today, right?  The perennial fallacy we have been hearing through the years is that RELATIONSHIPs are a tough nut to crack.  I'll say YES and NO.  YES because that's it IF we look it that way.  NO because of the same logic.  Otherwise, this is NO complex lab research with algorithms and machine language all over the place.  Instead, we need to just put things in the right perspective that building and maintaining healthy RELATIONSHIPS is an important part of looking after our mental health📗📙📘

There's one enduring fallacy that points to couples being afar as the very culprit of failed relationships.  NOT TRUE dude.  Instead, numerous studies showed that being far apart was the #1 factor for at least 70% of those enduring relationships.  Oh Oh.  Looks like we were looking from a different vantage point because all these data-driven conclusions are telling us that distance even reinforces human relationships💥💥💥

Now let's listen to these expert counselings:

• KNOW THYSELF - NOT knowing HOW to regulate yourself [like your emotions] is a huge handicap
• WALK THE TALK - PUT INTO WORK because healthy relationships are NOT found BUT built
• SET/RESPECTIVE BOUNDARIES - It's NOT only about WHAT you DON'T want OR like BUT it's also about letting folks around know what you appreciate

• TALK & LISTEN - Once communications breaks down, it is likely that all the dominos will fall, one by one as well.  This is WHERE communication channels become the very first factor that can MAKE OR BREAK relationships.  In practically all circumstances [YES, even in Geo-politics], once communication channels break down,  it's akin to the last nail on the coffin.
• LET GO OF CONTROL - Here's the thing.  A lot of life is about HOW we react to our experiences and encounters.  Knowing that you can only really control WHAT YOU DO  and NOT WHAT anyone else does will save you TIME + STRESS
• REFLECT & LEARN - Reacting to other people in a health way is the proven formula over and over again.  Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset

Our takeaway:  If there's one miss I often see as one chronic concern is that most failed relationships could NOT have totally collapsed ONLY IF there was mutuality in the communications channels.  BTW, this thread would have been moot and academic if there has always been that GOOD FAITH and ACT of GOODWILL between the relevant [warring] parties.  Unfortunately, all it takes is for one 'spoiler' and everything can go haywire.  SO, HOW MUCH EFFORT IS NEEDED FOR RELATIONSHIPs?  Not much, seriously💚💛💜

Formula 101: INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE = ACTION

 

This is a GIVEN:  All of us went through tons of Mathematics, Algebra and maybe even Calculus subjects.  BUT for one thing sure, NO one ever taught us that INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE equates to ACTION.  BUT people will retort back that this INSPIRATION + KNOWLEDGE  formula has got nothing to do with anything numerical.  Because both INSPIRATION and KNOWLEDGE are variables wherein it may exist at various levels, WHICH then in the end, may lead to planned ACTIONS that translate to executed ACTIONS.  BUT alas there's a gaping hole!!!

YES, I totally subscribe to this KNOWLEDGE IS POWER but hey hey hey dude, there is NO blanket guarantee that every body of KNOWLEDGE translates to ACTIONS, NO, just NOT AT ALL.  I've known first hand people WHO are unusually intellectually superior BUT sadly, that DOESN'T complete their book of life to reflect that their body of KNOWLEDGE did translate to ACTIONS at all!!!

WHY oh WHY?  Simple.  KNOWLEDGE by itself CAN'T and simply CAN'T stand by its own feet.  The second variable in the equation of that is the [hands down] INSPIRATION.  HOW in the world can you get into an ACTION PLAN if your level of INSPIRATION is somewhere near the gutter level?  Worst of worse is you will be unceremoniously 'flushed' out by the onrush of gutter water as it flows through it💥💥💥

WHY does INSPIRATION stand in the way prior to ACTIONS getting concretized?  YES, INSPIRATIONs refer to that evoked state of creativity WHICH implies MOTIVATION no less.  This is most evident in the field of art WHERE domain specific knowledge such as visual art has a major impact OR visual stimuli processing, reasoning and evaluation, and this is WHERE INSPIRATION is overlooked elsewhere❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's do a reversal of things here.  WHAT IF you are so damn inspired to become a successful professional [e.g. lawyer OR doctor] BUT in school, your academic performance is yielding results that are way far off even from the median?  HOW far can you go with all the INSPIRATION but with your foundational KNOWLEDGE probably just standing on one leg?  C'mon dude, let's agree that we need both INSPIRATION and KNOWLEDGE to lead us into ACTIONS [in life]💜💛💚

"What I Do Becomes Bigger Than Myself" - Alex Eala

Hours back in New York in the 1st round of the 2025 U.S. Tennis Open, 75th ranked ALEX EALA defeated 15th ranked Carla Tuason.  And I got caught WHEN she said:  WHAT I DO BECOMES BIGGER THAN MYSELF.  Indeed, ALEX EALA is living a dream, giving her country the Philippines a glimpse of the unknown because NEVER before has a player from her country ever won a match at a major tournament like the ongoing 2025 U.S. Tennis Open📗📙📘

Truth is, the world of competitive tennis is very exclusive as worldwide, there are only four tournaments considered as 'Grand Slam' ones [e.g. U.S., Australian, French and Wimbledon].  WHICH means, just getting that playing card to be part of the tournament is every dream event of global tennis players and tracing the path ALEX EALA has taken is remarkable no less.  BUT her hitherto UNTOLD story is more remarkable💚💛💜

Personally, WHAT is remarkable to date is that early in life, ALEX EALA effectively invested her whole like into the tennis career she is aspiring to etch her mark.  At a very raw age @15 years old, she packed up her bag and became a permanent onsite resident of the Rafael Nadal Academy @ Mallorca, Spain.  Five years after [as she is now 20 years old], she is gradually reaping the fruits of all the struggles and sacrifices she has had💥💥💥

Enough of ALEX EALA though BUT this brings us to the undeniable fact that SUCCESS has to be earned and it's no me ean feat to go through all the ordeals and challenges in one's journey.  Early on, there will be MORE frustrations, MORE slip-ups, MORE bruises, MORE tribulations that often, leads us all to that 'forked road' WHERE we are confronted to decide which path to take in the middle of such crossroads.  To quote ALEX EALA, she has to 'DIG DEEP' in the face of all the challenges she has to hurdle, even as we speak now😁😁😁

Our takeaway:  A day before the ongoing U.S. Open kickstarted at plush Flushing Meadows, no less than American Tennis Star Venus Williams advised ALEX EALA just to 'HAVE FUN' WHATEVER you are into.  And she did warn that the moment you lose that 'FUN', that's WHEN and WHERE everything you take on will be like those steep slopes you are likely to slip.  YES, to quote ALEX EALA, 'WHAT I DO BECOMES BIGGER THAN MYSELF'🥇🎖🏅

Everyone In Life Is Either A LESSON Or A BLESSING

After so many years living on our planet, I believe almost everyone amongst us will agree that there are only two types of people, and they are either LESSONs OR BLESSINGs.  This is a classic case of a straight black OR white [BUT please DON'T inject a negative connotation].  BUT the thing is, there is simply NO IN-BETWEEN in our lives. Everyone In Life Is Either A LESSON Or A BLESSING regardless of any circumstances at hand.  We just need to grasp this concept by its lapel, embrace if you can and based on HOW I did go through in life, life will become a lot easier.  NO bad blood.  NO nemesis.  NO adversary.  BUT in real terms, if ever we do get into an argument OR altercation, we can feel and get aggrieved and it's NOT avoidable that at times, depending on the severity of a conflict, we could even be carrying that 'victim mentality' BUT how often do we succeed in shrugging it off???

NOT to be overly positive, even altercations OR arguments can either enhance our life experience and I personally believe that most of the time, those life experiences will teach us a lesson OR two.  Many years ago, I got into a major road accident WHERE, by local laws, the vehicle WHO ends up hitting another vehicle becomes [by default] the culprit of the road accident even if that second vehicle cut across the intersection WHEN there was NO GREEN traffic light yet.   To cut the long story short, I always told myself that that experience was a BLESSING because it happened at the "BEST TIME possible" ever💥💥💥

Otherwise, regretful expressions like "IF SHE WOULD HAVE DONE"  or "IF HE HADN'T DONE" would have resonated over and over again in many cases.  Instead, by embracing like AS IF it never happened to you, it becomes a reflection of you.  Stating the obvious, all of these do reflect back on you, on me, on us, as to WHAT we need to learn on experience in order to work through WHAT you signed up for, to become the best version of yourself.  If we choose to see it the way it really is, it is an opportunity because as they opine, life changes WHEN we come to understand HOW it works.  To play with words on a serious note, WHEN WE CHANGE THE WE LOOK AT THINGS, THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT CHANGE💧💧💧

BUT again, this is easier said than done.  WHY?  Because most of us expect life to be fair [BUT sometimes it is NOT] because fairness was NEVER promised to us.  Instead, WHAT we have is a rule to live by, that is, if you DON'T learn your lessons, they will come harder UNTIL we end up getting hurt enough to choose a different path.  Question is, WHY WAIT till we get hurt [OR wounded] before we shift over to take a different path?  Another case of too little too late probably.  YES I am fully aligned to this and I can vouch for this too even as I did struggle severely before.  And BTW, relationships do NOT just refer to romantic ones.  Our relationships at the workplace equally matter too!!!

Our takeaway:  NOT to be mistaken that I am encouraging clashes in relationships BUT that is a fact of life.  And while those disconnects will initially be likened to pills that are 'hard to swallow', if you got to swallow it, swallow it.  BUT after swallowing it, you got to pick up the pieces, pick up the lessons learnt and eke out all the LESSONS from therein because all LESSONS have a thing OR two 'positivities'.  The only challenge is that those LESSONS are NOT like the icings on the cake WHERE no effort is needed to be exerted because it's all atop.  You got to exert an effort or two, dude because EVERYONE IN LIFE IS EITHER A LESSON OR A BLESSING😔😔😔

How Much Do We Value Silence?

As we all live in a world of cacophony, HOW often do we see people really cherishing every minute of SILENCE?  This reminds me way back my school days WHY we had those school-managed retreats.  At hindsight, those retreats gave us that very rare opportunity to reflect on the power of SILENCE and the range of responses it elicits from people. YES, some people still value and embrace SILENCE.  How Much Do We Value Silence???

BUT through the years, I did observe that some people seem really uncomfortable at the prospect of a period of SILENCE.  Oooooops, please allow me to qualify that that scenario is very much different from those households WHERE 'some' immediate family members just criss-cross each other, bumping across the staircase and hallways with nary a word.  That's just an outlier.  Otherwise, on reflections at the end of the silent retreat periods, some people do enjoy and cherish that SILENCE💚💛💜

BUT hey, some DON'T!  YES, it is also possible to look forward to a period of SILENCE only to find you CAN'T engage with I have had that experience in the past.  WHAT does this tell us about the functions of SILENCE?  Clearly, there is power in SILENCE.  Think about those raging arguments that get exacerbated with emotions and voices at the top decibels.  During those scenarios, I am cocksure that everyone is [silently] pleading for SILENCE but the problem is, their emotions get to hostage their own selves no end.  In the end, it seems that in our busy, noisy world, still, many people seem to fear SILENCE💥💥💥

If we listen to researches, they are all one in saying that it is fairly clear that too much noise is bad for us.  BUT does that mean that SILENCE is good for us?  Hmmm, well, I guess NOT necessarily as SILENCE is more than just an absence of noise.  However, those researches concluded by suggesting that SILENCE itself is beneficial both physically and psychologically.  Spending time in SILENCE has been proven to have the positive effects on our body in terms of reducing blood pressure, boosting the immune system and even reducing blood cortisol and promoting hormone regulation and somehow, to quote medical jargon, 'prevention of arterial plaque formation'❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT push too hard to end up with up hard knuckles in the midst of arguments.  WHAT really matters here is that WHILE we know that utter SILENCE is just one sheer outlier, we all need it NOT just under very normal day-to-day circumstances BUT especially WHEN we are in the midst of those hit of anger and boiling emotions.  If there is any referee WHO can successfully call a truce, SILENCE can😀😀😀

Do We Really Need That SNOOZE Button?

 

Do we really that SNOOZE button?  If we do a lookup with Mr. AI's definition, it says that it ALLOWS USERS TO POSTPONE WAKING UP FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.  Oh Oh Oh really?  All along, me thinks that this is utterly unacceptable because the night before, one has firmly decided WHAT time he/she needs to wake up and that timing is most likely aligned with one's priorities and schedules come next day📘📙📗

BUT alas, recent researches seem to shoot down even my perennial apprehension [OR frustration, to be frank] with regard hitting that SNOOZE button.  Amongst more than 1,700+ respondents in a Swedish study, 69% said they hit the SNOOZE button 'SOMETIMES' and 60% admitted that most often OR always, they did fall asleep between alarms, the result being that, on average, SNOOZERS got just a 'little less sleep'💥💥💥

And surprisingly, the top reason for choosing to SNOOZE rather than have an unbroken stretch of sleep was that a person COULDN'T wake up OR was too tired  And the next two most common reasons were that SNOOZING feels good and that it allows a person to wake up more slowly OR softly.  To take a closer look at the impact of SNOOZING, the researchers recruited 31 people to spend several nights in a SLEEP LAB.  And all of them admitted hitting the SNOOZE button several times.  BTW, none of them had sleeping disorders❌❌❌

And WHEN the respondents were told to hit the SNOOZE button, they ended up with six minutes less sleep on average BUT the overall structure of their sleep was the same.  And the participants' cognitive abilities were tested right after they got out of bed and then again 40 minutes later.  And WHEN it came to performance on cognitive tests, testing reaction times and solving math problems, SNOOZING appeared to give advantage😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Although these clinical research showed a slight advantage with regard the cognitive abilities of SNOOZERs, I hate to say this BUT I will NOT peddle and aggressively egg everyone to join the SNOOZERS club because my take here is that, as part of our habit formation [that leads to character building], managing [and disciplining] our time management starts right at the time we rise up every morning.  My take is that the SNOOZE button is there for you to hit IF EVER you are unwell come next morning, right?  Otherwise, DO WE REALLY NEED THAT SNOOZE BUTTON???