Life Changes Very Quickly In A Very Positive Way IF YOU LET IT

 

Every year, many of us are filled with renewed optimism at making life changes we've always wanted to make.  And everyone has the same chant:  IT'S A FRESH START.  BUT there is always a minority few WHO tend to be more cynical [more than just skeptical] and in the end, they get 'burned' by New Year's resolution that end up as just another set of rehashed wishes.  BUT Life changes very quickly in a very positive way IF YOU LET IT📗📙📘

Each of these is quite understandable BUT the problem with each is that neither really leads to lasting, meaningful change [without some evidence-backed methods to actually make the changes stick].  BUT if we listen to mentors and coaches, they all sing the same tune, that LIFE CHANGES VERY QUICKLY IN A VERY POSITIVE WAY [BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT].  Looking back, many of our New Year's resolutions DON'T tend to work because of multifarious factors💥💥💥

SO WHY?  Let's rattle off the most obvious low-lying root causes:

• There's that short-term BURST of OPTIMISM [and energy] WHICH normally DOESN'T last that long
• Many of us tend to NOT set up commitments to really last long
• We DON'T have ways of reflecting, learning and adjusting and dealing with the failures and obstacles that inevitably come along, so our attempts end up being very fragile, prone to easily end [and worse, to fall flat even before a plan OR action takes off]

That said, getting jaded about our goals just DOESN'T work because by then, we end up NOT committing ourselves to anything.  NOT getting in touch with possibility, so to speak.  NOT even setting a direction in our life.  LIKE being out to sea without a destination in our life.  WHAT happens next?  We'll float and float WHEREVER the waters will get us drifted to❎❎❎

I've witnessed first-hand some people WHO seem distraught and really down.  And WHEN I dipped my hands to help some people, WHAT I highlighted is that, per se, there are various 'positivities' all around us.  Alas, sometimes those 'positivities' are obscured and worse, they surface as 'negativities' unless you dissect it with a fine tooth of a comb.  BUT WHAT's frustrating is, if the 'road-blocker' is so 'entrenched' within a person, he will be the first one to shut off all 'positivities' he can tap😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Let us go back to basics, back to the smallest, tiniest steps we can take.  LIKE let's floss just 1 tooth to start with.  LIKE let's do 1 pushup for now [if the gym seems daunting].  LIKE writing one sentence for now [if writing a novel is a tall order].  Note though that those are just starting steps and slowly progress from there.  BUT let us NOT try to get too ambitious in our first start [because that is a recipe of failure, ouch]  YES dude, LIFE CHANGES VERY QUICKLY IN A VERY POSITIVE WAY IF YOU LET IT💚💛💜

NOT Every Single Sage Advice Is Sage Enough

 

Here's a giveaway question.  WHAT is one of the most quoted comments in Meta's FB?  You're spot on, dude.  YES, it's this "FEELING BLESSED" comment that has become kind of a 'run of the mill'.  BUT not to douse cold water for those fulfilling moments, the reality here is NOT every single sage advice is sage enough.  True, we are blessed we got parents, coaches, mentors and elders WHO selflessly advise us of the most important things that will help us survive this rough-and-tumble life we all got📗📙📘

Sadly, even with the best intentions and even WHEN done in good faith, we are egged to reassess with a grain of salt some of these advices.  LIKE WHEN we are told to be JUST BE YOURSELF.  And while authenticity is important, being your TRUE SELF with your friends and family and NOT being envious of those WHO are showing off their lavish lifestyle is very important for your mental health.  LIKE if you're suffering from 'SOCIAL ANXIETY' and you CAN'T even get in a room full of people, let alone hold a conversation💥💥💥

So, WHILE we humans can improve, and become the best versions of ourselves, trying to become that best version is NOT comfortable initially and we're told that to BE YOURSELF means to be authentic and try NOT to be someone else.  Problem is some people take it a bit too far and use it as an excuse to stay complacent.  Another misleading advice we're hearing is that GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.  Heard of this chronic trap???

NO Senor.  GOOD THINGS DON'T COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.  Instead, GOOD THINGS come to those WHO persevere.  If you are just sitting and waiting there, thinking that things will eventually work out, trust me, you'll NOT go anywhere farther in life. To improve, you've got to determine WHAT you want to become, then craft a plan, and take action toward your goal every single day.  There's simply NO faster way to improve than doing the actual work every day.  Verily true, there are some situations WHEN even vigorous and determined people do get discouraged WHEN they DIDN'T get to see the results yet, OR things just get harder.  And at that time, the advice 'GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT' works.  Frankly, we got to be patient and consistent during the process BUT for starters, it is a loud NO!!!  We have to put in the effort to take action💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  HOW about 'FOLLOW YOUR PASSION'?  People think that WHEN they get to do the work they love all the problems are solved.  They say ''JUST DO THE THING YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT", whew.  BUT in reality, it's all an illusion because all work requires effort, there's NO such thin as easy work.  If you want to become good at something it requires time energy and a huge amount of effort😃😃😃

How To Be Better At It

 

Take your pick:  ALL OR NOTHING?  Presto, I'm sure we will all pick "ALL" simply because NO one wants "NOTHING".  Problem here is that that "ALL OR NOTHING" thinking can impede our own motivation to improve ourselves, our skills, our capabilities.  Heard these one-liners many times.  I'm NOT GOOD AT THAT.  I'm a math flunker.  I'm NOT athletic.  I DON'T have that glib to interact with people.  NOW, we're NOT implying that those statements are false because very likely, WHOEVER said it, they said it truthfully with NO slightest deception📗📙📘

WHAT is really one of the obvious truths is that people hold strong beliefs around WHAT they are and are NOT good at.  Furthermore, in many areas in our respective lives, people tend to view themselves through the lens of categorical extremes.  LIKE they are either all good OR all bad at something rather than somewhere in the middle.  Allow me to borrow this psychology jargon called "COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY" a.k.a. CBT wherein we call exaggerated thought processes like these cognitive distortions, the term used to refer to common 'thinking errors'📌📌📌

To be specific, that 'ERROR' of seeing things in a 'black OR white' manner rather than in shades of gray is a classic example of that 'cognitive distortion' called "ALL OR NOTHING' thinking.  The problem with this 'ALL OR NOTHING' thinking NOT only [wrongly] influences our core beliefs we hold about our personal beliefs BUT according to experts, it tends to exert a powerful effect on the explanations we give for HOW there can be such large differences in our abilities💥💥💥

As that old story goes, some people have GOT IT and some DON'T.  THAT we are born with certain strengths and weaknesses that predispose us toward certain pursuits, which means, veering away from the activities, hobbies and occupations we WEREN'T made for, so we should discover WHAT we are naturally good at and probably even uncover our possible potentials hitherto untapped and unrecognized [yet]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Listen dude, our life is a bit like going on a treasure hunt, looking for clues on the map that will point us to the right direction, then sometimes getting lost [and worse stuck in dead ends] over and over again, even as our hopes and optimism seem to flicker and wane until one day, BOOM, that sound of our shovel clanging against a metal, then we finally stumble on WHAT we're searching in our treasure hunt.  BUT until we hit paydirt, WHAT better way to be 'BETTER' than to re-do, re-try over and over again, hoping we never give up along the way😊😊😊

Who DOESN'T want GREATNESS?

 

YES YES yow, we all want GREATNESS! Who DOESN'T want it? For one, GREATNESS is akin to the peak and zenith we can go far.  BUT alas, we can be the GREATEST human in this world, however IF you DON'T believe that, trust me, you WON'T feel anywhere near the GREATEST.  NO matter WHAT your goals are, your aspirations OR dreams are, YES dude you can achieve them and WHEN you do, even the smallest thing, you should give yourself at least a pat on your shoulder.  BUT HOW often do we do that?  I really doubt it.  I myself, several times I've been guilty of this in the past [over and over again, in fact].  WHY and HOW?  It's because I always pre-set lofty goals for myself to achieve.  In the end, WHAT enveloped me was no less than achieving that lofty goal [even if it's light years ahead and even if the probability of my success was less than 1%!@#$%?

On the other hand, if we look back, we might still realize that many times, we felt obliged to seek permission [from someone] before we thread that path towards that elusive greatness.  Many times I did hear self-doubting words like, "DO YOU THINK I AM UP TO IT?"  OR "I'VE DONE IT AND FAILED.  WHY SHOULD I DO IT AGAIN?".  Those are self-defeating mindsets that need almost zero-efforts to further bring you down❎❎❎

True, WHAT a lot of people are chasing is indeed  GREATNESS in one way OR another.  BUT that GREATNESS is NOT worth anything if we DON'T think that indeed we're GREAT.  So WHAT people are really chasing is being content with WHAT they did.  Oooops.  Are you?  True, it DOESN'T matter IF you've gone too far in your journey OR if you're just starting out BUT are you sure you're content enough with WHAT you did so far, to date???

And honestly, I firmly believe that either answer is good.  BUT again, there's a line to be drawn here because IF you're content with WHAT you did so far, then that's good.  Though, quite likely, you DON'T have as much drive to do more as someone WHO answered 'NO' to this same question.  And NOW, to address everyone else.  NO matter WHAT, let us endeavor to keep doing WHAT we want to do and NOT forget doing WHAT has to be done, WHATEVER it takes💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  AS ALWAYS, a lot of things are within our fingers.  It's up for our taking.  BUT alas, sometimes we end up with that 'analysis paralysis', endlessly caught in a loop, pondering the UPside and DOWNside even before lifting our finger.  That explains WHY many times we get stalled.  That's WHEN we could have reached for the sky BUT we were so [regrettably] less aggressive to simply aim for the tree-top.  By then, it might be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE for your GREATNESS [which is somewhere the horizon] dude😌😌😌

How Do We Handle SLUMPS?

 

SLUMPS come and go.  And if you are an NBA hoopster, those are the dreaded days although coaches are fully aware that it comes and goes.  It happens, even to Lebron James, the purported GOAT [Greatest of all time] which is still one of the raging debates WHEN he is compared to NBA greats like Michael Jordan.  How do we handle SLUMPS???

I remember during those years WHEN the web was still at its infancy stage and if existing apps at that time were more geared for enterprises rather than as mobile apps.  Those years, our company had its own basketball team as part of the country's professional basketball league.  And at times, some of the basketball players will walk into our offices to help check their 'biorhythm' state for that day they have a game💙💛💚

BUT WHAT somehow bothers me are the MENTAL SLUMPS which happens to each of us from time to time.  Indeed, it is worst feeling WHEN you have big plans BUT your mind just DOESN'T feel like it.  Surely we can share that feeling, right?  Being in a mental SLUMP can really mess up our goals [OR at least our tasks and plans for day].  Overall, though, it throws a 'monkey wrench' in our priorities💧💧💧

Admittedly, there have been times in the past WHEN I myself I wanted to get myself off the phone because at times, my brain was just NOT 'having it'.  So, the question is, HOW can we get ourselves out of a mental SLUMP fast enough?  Of course, we DON'T want to wait until we feel like doing something because that be so long, whew!@#$%?

Our takeaway: Let's agree that a mental SLUMP is kind of broad and may mean something differently to everyone.  To me, a mental SLUMP is WHEN you just CAN'T seem to get myself to do practically anything.  LIKE I'm feeling a bit LOST.  LIKE I DON'T have any direction and my thoughts are all over the place.  LIKE I might be spending a big chunk of my time on social media just to 'KILL TIME' [and getting 'hostaged' by those endless and incessant feeds].  BUT in most cases, it's likely because I DON'T know WHAT to do with myself at that point in time.  That's WHEN my overall mental well-being is figuratively and sometimes literally 'down'.  BUT WHAT's puzzling is that during those episodes, we're NOT depressed BUT on the other hand, NOT happy 'enough'.  In short, it's just that 'LIMBO' that I seem to get stuck at times.  SO HOW?  Let's translate these vociferous words into concrete action:  RISE UP and MOVE❗❗❗

[Re-post from Vegoutmag.com] Evening Habits of Men Who [MAY] Never Move Forward In Life

 

Evening Habits of Men Who [MAY] Never Move Forward In Life [from Vegoutmag.com Jordan Cooper datelined 08.01.2025].  DISCLAIMER:  I am reposting without implying anything as this is the opinion from the author.  QUOTE starts here:  Most people think the key to success lies in WHAT you do from 9 to 5.  BUT in reality?  It's WHAT happens from 7pm onwards that quitely shapes your future📗📙📘

Evening are WHEN your guard drops, your habits show and your REAL priorities leak through.  WHILE some may use this time to RESET, plan and grow, others unknowingly stall their own progress.  Let's about those evening habits:  WHEN DOOMSCROLLING AFTER DINNER.  You know, the moment after you put the dishes away?  That tiny pocket WHERE you could stretch, call a friend, OR plan tomorrow?  THAT's WHEN the phone whisperrrrrrs💚💛💜

LIKE TREATING EVENINGS LIKE A DECISION LANDFILL.  You worked all day, so you leave all the low-grade life admin for the evening.  Travel searches, bills, SMS messages, a dozen micro-micro decisions.  That's decision fatigue dressed as productivity, huhuhuh... By 8pm, the prefrontal cortex is tired, so you take longer, choose worse and resent the time you spend choosing.  That resentment leads to avoidance tomorrow, WHICH creates more evening clutter.  Loop loop loop💥💥💥

LIKE having no wind-down at all.  Some folks treat bedtime like an OFF switch.  LIKE one last email, lights out, expect instant sleep BUT our nervous system loves ramps, NOT cliffs.  A 20-40 minute wind-down is shockingly effective.  Dim lights, get horizontal reading time, light stretching, warm shower, tomorrow's clothes out, phone on DoNot Disturb.  The specifics matter less than the sequence.  Your body starts to predict WHAT comes next.  LIKE ruminating instead of closing the day.  Rumination feels like problem-solving BUT it's mostly emotional spinning.  Dictionary defines it as 'obsessional thinking involving excessive, repetitive thoughts.  That's NOT reflection.  That's mental quicksand.  Two swaps help:  A brain dump that ends in verbs. A time-boxed worry window.  If your mind insists on looping, give it 10 minutes in a chair, no phone, no bed, then close it with one calming behavior.  TRAIN YOUR BRAIN THAT BED IS REST, NOT FOR REPLAY😡😡😡

LIKE defaulting to alcohol OR overeating as 'RELAXATION'?  If the evening autopilot is:  STRESS--->  DRINK--->  MUNCH---> LATE BEDTIME---> FOGGY MORNING, that's a negative compounder.  A simple reframe is to separate REWARD from RELIEF.  REWARD is something you genuinely value.  RELIEF is numbing the day.  If you do drink, make it deliberate LIKE set 'two-drink' nights on weekends, NOT on autopilot Thursdays.  Amd keep a satisfying non-alcoholic default in the fridge so relaxation DOESN'T always mean alcohol😊😊😊

Escaping ESCAPISM?

 

ESCAPING ESCAPISM?   Surely, either we have seen OR witnessed that several times [OR many times] in our life.  OR probably we ourselves were right at the forefront of things.  Either ESCAPING from something we either we DON'T want OR we hate OR we despise OR we were aghast.  OR in NOT so controversial circumstances, we simply wanted to put off doing something now FOR  a future time we DON'T even exert efforts to figure out WHEN📗📙📘

I've come across this UNKNOWN quote:  "SIT WITH IT.  INSTEAD OF DRINKING AWAY, SMOKING IT AWAY, SLEEPING IT AWAY, EATING IT AWAY, OR RUNNING FROM IT, JUST SIT WITH IT.  HEALING HAPPENS BY FEELING".  Verily true, sometimes we all need to ESCAPE every once in a while.  After a day-long grueling work OR a monotonous daily routine, we may need to either take a quick break, a quick out-of-town OR even watch a movie OR simply play your fav video game💥💥💥

I CAN'T disagree that ESCAPISM does help us rewind, refresh OR even figure out answers to some stubborn questions OR problems we encounter in our daily life.  After all, ESCAPISM in itself ISN'T that bad.  It's NOT even like a stigma we need to cover up BUT here's the catch.  WHEN ESCAPISM turns into reality, there the problem lies❌❌❌

BUT are we aware of those tell-tale signs that things might run berserk?  YES dude, it could start with a 'I NEED A BREAK' statement.  BUT sooner OR later, that break starts escalating to avoidance.  Talking about HABIT FORMATION.  Any chances of digesting reality dismissed as soon as they hit our mind.  And then it starts becoming our norm.  You dread your life so any chance you get, you delve into your movie binge, switching from Netflix to another.  You DON'T wait to breathe after work so you pick the remote the moment you're home and sleep right after, the last image being that last sequence of the movie till your eyes closed😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  YES, we end up disliking one storyline one after another, ending up seeking other people's stories, one after the other, episode after episode, series after series, day after day, binge-watching your way to another reality.  The problem is, that other reality NEVER comes.  Uggggggh.  ESCAPISM.  Taking breaks turns to avoidance instead.  Postponing an idea's execution, numbing the pain with travel, movies and snacks.  NO time to meditate on reality.  Dude, that worsening habit will be wreaking havoc to your life.  WAKE UP.  We got to be ESCAPING ESCAPISM❗❗❗

[Repost from Lifehacker.com] Find & Remove 'STALKERWARE' From Your Phone

 

[Repost EN TOTO from Lifehacker.com 08.03.2025 - from Emily Long].  Find & Remove 'STALKERWARE' From Your Phone. While your mobile device has a lot of built-in features to keep your data secure and protect your privacy, it may still be vulnerable to snooping if someone you know has access to your accounts or manages to install hidden apps—known as stalkerware—that track your every move

These malicious programs may exploit built-in features and permissions on your iPhone or Android to spy on you. Here's how to identify and remove stalkerware from your device. WHAT IS STALKERWARE?  Stalkerware is a form of spyware used to surveil and monitor activity on your device, such as messages, photos, and real-time location, without your consent. Stalkerware is most often found in the form of an app downloaded directly onto your device and may be hidden from your home screen or disguised as something innocent so you're less likely to notice anything suspicious

Some possible signs of stalkerware (and other malicious apps) include large amounts of data usage on your device, your phone running warmer or slower than usual, your battery draining more quickly, or increases in screen time as well as strange notifications. However, stalkerware can be present even without any of these issues.

Before attempting to remove stalkerware from your device or changing shared access to your accounts and apps, it is essential that you have a safety plan in place. Deleting monitoring apps or updating permissions can alert the person who installed them, which may increase the risk of abuse or harassment. SO HOW?  You can view apps installed on your device in your settings even if there's no icon on the home screen. On both iOS and Android, this is in the settings app under a menu titled Apps or App management. (On iOS, you can see hidden apps by scrolling all the way down to the bottom of the list.) Look for anything you don't recognize.  SO HOW?  Review app permissions & settings.  You can see permissions, such as location, camera, microphone, and keyboard access, in your settings on an app-by-app basis

If you have iOS 16 or later, you can use Apple's Safety Check feature (Settings > Privacy & Security > Safety Check) to manage permissions and sharing with individuals and apps. You can check who you are sharing information with, change devices connected to your Apple account, reset system privacy permissions, and update your passcode, among other settings. There's an Emergency Reset option, which will immediately stop sharing all information from your device, and a Quick Exit button if you need to close out with one tap

In The End, JUST THREE THINGS MATTER, Period

 

$$$$$$.  Properties.  Holidays.  Ealt-all-you-can.  Verily true, generally, many things matter to us.  Imagine days WHERE you spent the whole 8 hours working, then driving through traffic gridlock for another 2 hours and WHEN you arrive home, you're still deep into discussions for THIS and THAT.  And by the time you hit the sack, you're drained as that dried up oil funnel [after your car's change oil].  BUT lo and behold,  to quote American author Jack Kornfield, In the end, JUST 3 THINGS MATTER.   And they are:

• HOW WELL WE HAVE LIVED
• HOW WELL WE HAVE LOVED
• HOW WELL WE HAVE LEARNED TO LET GO

Contrary to what's spread wrongly, those three lines have been often [wrongly] quoted as one coming from Buddha.  We have to credit that to Jack Kornfield although I believe there's a mix-up because Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in Thailand, Burma and India.  Back to our thread, unfortunately, like it OR not, we are going to see loved ones eventually die and come face to face with the stark reality that we too will have that path in the future💚💛💜

Early in life, everyone of us would have witnessed the untimely departure of our elders, the older generations.  BUT eventually, that grief has to go 'somewhere' and that manifested more in the way of an intense questioning and seeking, looking for comfort and the idea that there is something bigger than me directing the 'orchestra' of my life.  In my never-ending quest out of curiosity, I explored all the crevices and corners of anything that can explain all these mysteries.  BUT honestly, I WASN'T sure WHAT I was seeking for💧💧💧

Let's face it, when a close relative is going through the end of life's stages, we will realize that sometimes, that guilt feeling will seem to creep in for those times you thought you should have spent more time with your departed parents BUT DIDN'T.  And that will and should spark a new awareness in us, leading us to develop that deep concern and compassion for anyone going through those late stages of their life as well.  BUT WHAT struck me like a 'bolt of lightning' was HOW important it was to enjoy [as in ENJOY] each precious day of our life AS MUCH AS WE COULD so that we WON'T have those future regrets😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  I feel it sometimes takes tremendous efforts to live each moment well.  BUT HOW easy is it to live WELL, love WELL and learn to LET GO WHEN we are caught up with the dramas of life.  HOW easy is it to recognize that anything we are tightly holding onto, a regret, an anger OR non-forgiveness, is like a 'poison', gradually gnawing away at our mind and being and damaging [WHO knows] even our health?  I heard this before.  Can we PRACTICE COMPASSION to help us navigate life a little easier, so we are able to truly live each precious moment of our lives as best as we can.  To quote Jack Kornfield:  IN THE END, JUST THREE THINGS MATTER.  Pick it up from here, dude❗❗❗

SELF-CARE Anyone?

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SELF-CARE anyone?  SELF-CARE may be defined by the term itself, caring for yourself.  It includes anything you do to keep yourself healthy, that's physically, mentally and spiritually.  Although prioritizing SELF-CARE may sound like common sense especially if you're considering longevity.  It's often the first thing to go WHEN you find yourself in challenging situations, WHETHER because of bad health, a financial crisis, job loss, divorce, name it💚💛💜

This explains WHY it is important to keep it at the top of our mind and NOT just an after-thought especially in challenging times.  In a society in WHICH people are expected to work long hours and pass on vacation days, there is an underlying belief that we must always be productive, WHICH can ultimately take away from opportunities for SELF-CARE.  This is the mother of all ironies as our priorities seem to lord over us💧💧💧

Considering the costs associated with mental health services, lost wages and more, spending more time on yourself may ultimately benefit everyone.  Burning the candle at both ends, so to speak, comes with significant consequences, WHICH may include BUT are NOT limited to burnout, depression, anxiety, resentment and a whole host of other NEGATIVE implications in life.  Experts opine that engaging in SELF-CARE routine has been clinically proven to reduce OR eliminate anxiety and depression😌😌😌

Moreover, the same experts opine that it reduces stress, improves concentration, minimizes frustration and anger, increases happiness and improves energy and more.  From a physical health perspective, it has been clinically proven to reduce heart disease, stroke and cancer. And spiritually, it may even help keep us in tune with our higher power as well as realize our meaning in life.  Enough of these verbose narratives though.  The bigger question is HOW can we practice SELF-CARE in our day-to-day life???

Our takeaway:  My conjecture is that perhaps the single most common reason people give for NOT participating in SELF-CARE is due to a lack of time.  Sounds familiar?  YES, I've used that excuse [a.k.a. alibi] in the past.  Over time, you may significantly enhance your overall health and well-being.  And even if you're just beginning, trust me there can be results you can realized much earlier than expected💥💥💥