It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!

It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!

In a rematch between NBA inter-state ballclubs Miami Heat and the Orlando Magic, it was a perfect picture of tables turned around upside down.  In their first match, Miami Heat led up to 20+ points for 3 quarters until they folded up.  In their rematch today which ended as a clutch game, Orlando Magic led by double-digits 3 quarters of the game until they got nipped by a Tyler Herro killer mid-jumper in the last 4 seconds.  At the post-game conference, Coach Jamal Mosley was NOT apologetic with regard Orlando Magic's fumbling act, explicitly stating that in the NBA world, "It's NOT The Last Possession That Wins For You!!!"  WHAT he meant was that the end-result of the game was shaped many many possessions WAY PRIOR to that LAST 2 MINUTES.   If I may add, that truism extends even to our everyday life, way out and beyond the NBA basketball rough-and-tumble world 📗📙📘

That said, Plato, the Greek Philosopher was widely quoted: "THE FIRST AND BEST VICTORY IS TO CONQUER SELF".  Having said that, learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to DISCIPLINE [SELF-DISCIPLINE in fact].  Happiness, success, and fulfillment, they all stem from FOCUS and SELF-CONTROL.  I remember the zillion times WHEN every morning, I had to come down from my hotel room, facing an eat-all-you-can buffet, that prospect of making a quick buck, OR that lazy lure of sleeping versus getting up on your feet.  And studies have consistently shown that people with better SELF-DISCIPLINE are much HAPPIER.  WHY oh WHY???

Because with SELF-DISCIPLINE and SELF-CONTROL we actually accomplish more of the goals we truly care about.  YES, SELF-DISCIPLINE is that 'bridge' between our defined goals and our accomplished goals.  Think about it, it could be the longest imaginary bridge to exist in this world because even for those WHO were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, that imaginary bridge between their defined goals and our accomplished goals are more than just a mile-long because along every stretch of that bridge are traps and 'land mines' embedded to betray our journey and WHAT better way to get over the hump than with SELF-DISCIPLINE and SELF-CONTROL✅✅✅

To quote an author I missed the name now, his book claimed that people with a higher degree of SELF-CONTROL are likely to spend LESS TIME debating WHETHER to indulge in behaviors and activities that DON'T align with their values and goals.  WHY?  They are that more decisive.  They DON'T let impulses OR feelings dictate their choices [WHICH sometimes leads us to waffling and indecision].  Instead, they become their very own 'architects' of their own beliefs and the actions they take to achieve a desired outcome.  And as a result, they AREN'T as easily distracted by temptation and tend to feel more satisfied with their own lives😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Allow me to quote Bruce Lee, the great Chinese martial arts expert WHO said:  TO HELL WITH CIRCUMSTANCES.  I CREATE OPPORTUNITIES.  Simply put, let us NOT wait for that LAST 2 MINUTES of the ballgame [because of our misguided fallacy that the LAST 2 MINUTES will still bring eternity in the ballgame.  NO sirrrrrs, 2 minutes is 2 minutes and nowhere does it approximate the 48 minutes of a basketball game.  Same argument runs true in our life.  Let us NOT wait for that LAST 2 MINUTES dude!@#$%?

[All-year-round] Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself

[All-year-round] Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself

In the NBA, Jimmy Butler, one of the league's top-tier players, makes the competition more wary of him WHEN the NBA tournament reaches the playoff phase because by then, he gets dubbed as 'PLAYOFF JIMMY'.  Meaning, during the playoff phase, competition gets more threatened because he shows up in his BEST VERSION.  A month ago, when he was angling for a contract renewal, Pat Riley, the revered Miami Heat 'godfather' stomped his foot down and chimed, he wants to see in Jimmy an [All-year-round] The BEST VERSION Of himself.  That stopped the conversation then and there, and now Jimmy has to prove [All-year-round] To Be The BEST VERSION Of Yourself [NOT just during playoffs]📘📙📗

True, everyone wants to become the BEST VERSION of themselves BUT few actually do it.  More often, the wish does NOT match the outcome and the results.  It's because we are our WORST ENEMY  when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that's filled with passion and purpose.  Worse, some of us are self-destructive without realizing it and others are conscious of the fact, but lack the tools or knowledge in order to improve💧💧💧

BUT regardless, most of us are unaware that we do have habits that continually get into the way of becoming a success in our endeavors.  So, WHAT does the BEST VERSION of yourself mean?  The definition itself can be subjective because your own version may NOT be the same as your family or close friends.  Considering this, DON'T give in to the temptation of comparing yourself with others.  BUT instead, remember your personal definition of your BEST VERSION is WHAT matters, period💥💥💥

Additionally, your BEST VERSION does NOT need to be the same thing forever.  Over time, even your very own definition of your BEST VERSION will evolve and change in all areas of your life.  So, DON'T even be hesitant to be flexible because as you thread along, you could be moving your goal posts, levelling up and challenging yourself to take aim for the next level.  Generally, your BEST VERSION means taking control of your life.  WHEN you call the shots, you become more empowered to make decisions towards your happiness.  More than that, let us remember that our BEST VERSION does NOT always mean winning OR prevailing over the field OR competition❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Even if you ask your partner/spouse, family or close coterie of friends, everyone will tell you that UNLOCKING your BEST VERSION is NEVER an overnight process.  It could even take donkey years.  For some, it takes decades.  For a few, it takes a lifetime before he/she reaches his/her BEST VERSION.  Just brace yourself for the ride and enjoy your journey to be your BEST VERSION❗❗❗

Finding FUN Again

Finding FUN Again

Ask me, what makes me envious of children?  It's their never ending appetite for FUN, yes as it is spelled F-U-N.  BUT hey, children DON'T have a monopoly of FUN.  I thought we adults deserve as much FUN as they do.  And probably, we deserve double OR triple their FUN because we grind day-in and day-out, it should NOT be doubted OR debated if we adults deserve double OR triple their FUN.  BUT the bigger question that bogs us down is Finding FUN Again.  Is it something to be served to us on a silver platter?  Is it a DIY thing where we would NOT need to lift our finger?  OR is it a FUN we need to reacquire but we need to work our butts out???

YES, from time to time, we all need to be reminded HOW to make things FUN again.  We need to be reminded that we even have that option [and that option WON'T be taken away from us at all].  It DOESN'T take much to make people forget FUN.  Fifteen minutes of movie-streaming or listening to podcast is enough to do it for them.  A phone call with someone WHO is already having something very other than FUN.  A meeting with someone who's 'secret agenda' is about proving how more important he/she than you📗📙📘

A driver WHO ignores you on purpose.  Lost keys.  Lost temper.  Losing.  And the whole entire beautiful thing gets ruined.  And this is most relevant and true to people going through transition, OR in remission, OR in recovery, people attempting to regain themselves after a particularly profound change.  True, some people remember FUN but WHAT gets lost is how can they make things FUN again💦💦💦

We all had that share of FUN way back our childhood.  Playing every day, climbing trees [and somethings falling off, bruised], running through fields [and stumbling flat on our face].  Surely, those moments are priceless.  You probably had similar experiences.  Even as recent as your high school days when activities tend to veer towards more of adventures.  You explored new places, even sleepovers, even sharing secrets we're afraid our parents will know.  Indeed, those growing up years was excitement at its best✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  As adults, we tend to lose that sense of FUN.  We got to admit we miss those carefree days.  Responsibilities take over.  We forget to play, NOT on purpose.  Everything else becomes essential BUT FUN.  Work and chores fill up our days.  Stress and worries would even replace joy.  Then, weeks blur into months.  You blink and another Christmas comes.  WHERE did all the time go?  WHERE did all the time go?  People seem to have forgotten FINDING FUN AGAIN❗❗❗MERRY CHRISTMAS to all ❗❗❗

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?

Are JOKES The Very Antidotes To Stress?  Well, let le me share this post by Victoria Hardesty @Quora.com.  Shortly afer 9/11, anyone travelling in the U.S. will go through a grim if NOT terrifying experience with TSA/airport security then. And at the airport, their baggages will be manually checked by grim-looking security personnel as the people doing the checks had no smiles.  Until she turned to her husband, spoke out loud and asked him if he'd pull all the sex toys in her suitcase😃😃😃

That seemed to break the moods of both the queueing passengers and the baggage checkers and the poor young woman previously grimly checking the baggage just couldn't stop giggling.  WHAT's the moral of this story?  It really seems to prove that lighting up things can even turn upside down all the grim and stress into an entirely light interaction.  Alas, many of us [and I've been guilty of this many times in my life] would sometimes get so buried deep in a hole, unable to lighten up things💥💥💥

Can we imagine that unfathomable situation wherein, in the midst of stress, we will end up clutching on straws with what Pharmacology offers us?  NOT to downplay the upsides of it but the sad truth is that many of us end up to be vulnerable once we start staking all our marbles in that Russian Roulette game because the best scenario is a stalemate at best❎❎❎

Thing is, all these would boil down to our poor coping skills.  WHAT aggravates matters is that we ourselves are even unaware that such is the case.  Factually, stress relief from laughter is NO JOKE.  WHEN it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just WHAT the doctor ordered.  WHY?  WHETHER you're guffawing at a sitcom on TV OR quietly giggling at a newspaper cartoon, laughing does you good.  Laughter is a great form of stress relief and that's NO JOKE.  True, a good sense of humor CAN'T cure all ailments BUT research data is mounting about the positive things laughter can do for us.  A good laugh has great short-term effects😀😀😀

WHEN you start laughing, it DOESN'T just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body.  Studies have proven that laughter can stimulate many organs as laughter enhances one's intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.  Our takeaway:  The benefits span even the long-term.  So, laughter ISN'T just a quick pick-me-up.  Experts are one i saying that it can improve one's immune system even as it increases one's personal satisfaction which in the end, does improve your mood.  So, ARE JOKES THE ANTIDOTES TO STRESS?  Absolutely, dude❗❗❗

Of Winners & Whiners

Of Winners & Whiners

How can one letter be so damn powerful, akin to separating the waters in the Red Sea?  Yes, that letter 'H' is that damn powerful.  You insert 'H' in WINNERS, you end up with 'WHINERS'.  Simply put, the person WHO wants to do something will find a way [WHATEVER it takes].  On the other hand, the person WHO DOESN'T will never fail find a reason [call that 'EXCUSE'?] to extricate him/herself out of that situation?   Indeed, Of Winners & Whiners📗📙📘

Oh oh, I CAN'T disagree further from this poster, just 100% true and factual.  So, the puzzling question is what does that letter 'H' got to do, to create this huge divide between WINNERS versus WHINERS?  Many studies have been undertaken and they all ended up with the same conclusions.  THAT there's a huge difference between those two groups the way they THINK, TALK and ACT.  In terms of the way they think, WINNERS keep an open mind.  They consciously refrain from thinking a particular goal is impossible💙💙💙

With WINNERS, as long as they continue to think something is possible, their subconscious minds continue to to work towards the achievement of their goals.  Contrast this to the WHINERS who we'll hear "THAT WON'T WORK" and they start thinking of all kinds of reasons WHY they shouldn't try farther.  And they will then rationalize their lack of effort OR their feelings of fear by telling themselves those 'RATIONAL LIES'.  Moreover, WINNERS talk differently.  WINNERS speak out positive words of affirmation.  They even memorize words OR self-motivating sentences and say them out loud over and over again💦💦💦

The TALE OF THE TAPE says it all.  And clearly, the Red Sea sets them far apart.  In real life, we all experience NOT just the UPs but the DOWNs.  Times WHEN the harvest is low.  Times WHEN business is down.  Times WHEN we are jobless.  Times when we are struggling because someone in the family is seriously medically ill.  BUT while WHINERS tend to commiserate, we will hear from WINNERs those encouraging words like 'NEVER COUNT THE MIGHT-HAVE-BEENS OR YOU'LL BE DEJECTED'. Just NEVER look at WHAT you have lost.  BUT instead, look at WHAT you have left.  Really, that kind of mindset will make one envious of WINNERS [if ever he/she is a WHINER]😄😄😄

Our takeaway:  If we have swept you off your feet to agree that we should all be WINNERS than WHINERS, let's 'pooh-pooh' everything we hear from the former and instead, let's stick to our guns and commit ourselves to the WINNING qualities we want to master, embodying qualities on PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE and CONFIDENCE.    I remember the champions tell us, speak out those three words every morning and evening, say each word 50 times each and you will NOT be far from that path to be a WINNER [and NOT a WHINER]❗❗❗

Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?

Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?

Per se, DESIRES are NOT wrong, NOT that bad either.  BUT let's attempt to link DESIRES and DESTINY.  While DESIRE derives from the Latin word 'DESIDERARE', which means 'to long OR wish for', WHICH itself derives from the 'DE SIDERE'  [which means, 'from the stars', suggesting that the original sense is 'to await WHAT the stars will bring'.  True, DESIRES constantly arise from within us, only to be replaced by yet more DESIRES.  Without this continuous stream of 'DESIRING', there would NO longer be any reason to do anything.  As they say, life would grind to a halt, as it does for people WHO lose the ability to DESIRE.  WHEN things turn from bad to worse, an acute crisis of DESIRE corresponds to boredom and a chronic crisis towards depression.  Oh no. Are Our Desires 'KILLING' Us?  True, it is DESIRE that moves us and gives our life direction and meaning, perhaps NOT meaning in the cosmic sense, BUT meaning in the more restricted narrative sense📗📙📘

Nope, NOT all DESIRES are bad.  WHY?  It's simply because we were all born out of DESIRE and cannot remember a time WHEN we were without it.  We are so used to DESIRING that we are NOT conscious of our DESIRES, which only register with us WHEN they are very intense OR WHEN they come into conflict with our other DESIRES.  That's the paradox of DESIRE💥💥💥

So, HOW do we get around this paradox of DESIRE, that even the DESIRE to stop DESIRING is itself a DESIRE?  To get around this paradox, psychologists conceived that 'CESSATION OF DESIRE' via enlightenment, and NOT as the culmination of an intentional process BUT as a simple accident.  The problem with DESIRE is that if DESIRE is life, WHY should we then seek to control DESIRE?  For the simple reason that we seek to control life, OR at least our life, to make it more pleasant OR less painful, and more constructive as well😕😕😕

The thing is, all suffering can be framed in terms of DESIRE.  If unmet DESIRE becomes painful, so are fear and anxiety, which can then be understood in terms of DESIRES about the future, and anger and even sadness which can understood in terms of DESIRES about the past.  That mid-life crisis is nothing if NOT a crisis of DESIRE as well❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  If indeed DESIRE itself is hurtful, so are its by-products.  The accumulation of properties in life [DON'T get me wrong, all along I wanted things that way as well], cars and other riches robs us of our time and tranquility, both in their acquiring and in their keeping, NOT to mention in their losing.  BTW, I DON'T mean that we should shun riches,  merely that we should NOT set out for, or set store by, them.  Are our DESIRES 'killing' us???

Maybe, What We Lack Is NOT Purpose But FOCUS?

Maybe, What We Lack Is NOT Purpose But FOCUS?

Maybe, What We Lack Is NOT Purpose But FOCUS?  Me thinks almost everyone of us do have our own purposeful lives.  WHO would live without it in the first place?  BUT the looming scare that runs incognito is that WHAT's lacking is the needed FOCUS to the very PURPOSE which we would often concretize into action verbs and action plans.  YET, WHAT causes many of us to get stalled?  Maybe, we lack FOCUS, after all📗📙📘

If our problem is staying on a task at hand OR paying attention to the details, things could be as simple as eliminating distractions like your smart phone OR trying techniques like 'SMART' goals may help.  And if there's one thing we could all probably use a lot more of, it's our ability to FOCUS. BUT here's the thing.  Telling yourself to stay FOCUSED on a task, especially a mundane one, is often easier said than done.  BUT I'll take exception with Japanese because I envy their ability to be FOCUSED.  While on a holiday in Japan, we explored even the remote cities of Kyoto, Nara and Kobe and I envied the Mochi Maker [@ Nara] WHO was so consistently FOCUSED every step of the way despite tourists swarming all over the place💥💥💥

BUT WHAT causes our sometimes poor attention to detail?  True, all people can experience poor attention to detail OR having trouble FOCUSING sometimes.  And the most common superficial contributing factors could be as simple as being hungry, being tired, having a poor quality of sleep, being stressed, feeling worried OR anxious OR being distracted by something around one's environment.  True, managing the cause of your inability to FOCUS can help resolve the issue💧💧💧

Good news, according to experts, losing that FOCUS may be a result of either a symptom related to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD], anxiety, depression, autism, learning disorders like dyslexia, conditions that affect the quality of one's sleep, like insomnia OR sleep apnea, conditions that cause fatigue, like hypothyroidism, a post-traumatic stress disorder OR a concentration deficit disorder, amongst others❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Losing one's FOCUS can indeed be caused from A to Z but HOW and WHERE can we get help to fix it?  Start off by isolating if it is a medically-related issue that is causing you to lose FOCUS.  Otherwise, the problem could have been caused within the periphery if one is unable to remember things that occurred a short time ago?  OR even having difficulty to seat still?  OR even having a difficulty to think clearly?  OR is it your inability to make decisions?  OR is it making sheer careless mistakes?  Either ways, do figure it out because WHAT YOU LACK IS NOT PURPOSE BUT FOCUS, and that's NOT a longshot to think of😊😊😊

Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!

Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!

WHEN we think of PROGRESS, we often think of moving forward, making improvements and even achieving success.  However, defining PROGRESSION can be challenging as it may mean different things to different people.  PROGRESSION can refer to personal growth, societal advancement OR even technological innovation.  So, the question is, Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!!!

From a personal perspective, PROGRESSION may mean improving oneself through education, career advancement, OR personal development.  As an example, someone may consider progressing in their career by achieving a promotion OR learning new skills to advance in their field.  On the other hand, someone else may view progression as achieving inner peace OR finding fulfillment in their personal life.  From a much broader societal perspective, PROGRESSION can refer to social, economic, OR political advancements.  For instance, a society may PROGRESS by providing equal opportunities for all citizens, reducing poverty OR even protecting human rights💦💦💦

Thing is, PROGRESS comes in different forms and shapes.  And NO one can claim his own strides of PROGRESS is the sole definition of what moving forward can be equated to PROGRESS.  BUT beyond all the talk about PROGRESSION, there are basic pre-requisites for it to shape up and happen.  First off, PROGRESSION requires vision.  Defining PROGRESSION requires having a clear vision of WHAT we want to achieve.  And that involves setting goals, even identifying obstacles and creating a plan to overcome them💥💥💥

Close to the heels of setting one's vision, PROGRESSION requires ACTION no less.  It's a no brainer here.  ACTION is needed to turn that vision into reality.  And that involves putting in the effort, taking risks, and making sacrifices to achieve our goals.  NOT far behind is the need for us to learn from failures.  Fact of the matter is that PROGRESSION is NOT always a linear path.  We may encounter setbacks and failures along the way, WHICH can provide valuable lessons for us😄😄😄

Our takeaway:  Lost in the maze in our discourse about PROGRESSION is the obvious need for collaboration.  PROGRESSION often involves working with others towards a common goal.  Collaboration would allow and enable us to pool our resources [and efforts], skills and knowledge in a concerted approach to achieve greater and more impacting results.  WHETHER it is for personal growth, societal advancement OR technological innovation, PROGRESSION is all about making positive changes and moving forward in our path to achieve our goals in life.  WHOEVER says that he feels embarrassed because he/she keeps moving forward with no PROGRESS is sheet baloney because MOVING FORWARD IS PROGRESS!!!

When Communications Clash

When Communications Clash

All along, WHAT we knew was that COMMUNICATIONS is the solution to almost all 'disconnects' that happen in life.  BUT it does befuddle me that sometimes [or likely many times], COMMUNICATIONS itself becomes part of the problem.  HOW can that be?  Indeed, it does become that ironical When Communications Clash.    WHEN in fact, we were always taught that COMMUNICATIONS is an art that everyone of us must master to find success.  Unfortunately, some poor methods of COMMUNICATIONS are so common [and quite chronically prevalent] that many of us AREN'T even aware of it, which causes things to go uphill📗📙📘

This conundrum has even brought about the need for COMMUNICATIONS coaches and a common refrain we hear from coaches is that a coaching client WON'T realize they need to break a BAD COMMUNICATIONS habit until their coach brings it up to them.  So, WHAT can we do to break them?  One of the worst ways to COMMUNICATE is by demonstrating a lack of empathy, particularly WHEN the message could impact another person💥💥💥

Through the years, I've witnessed first-hand [and many times I was guilty of this as well] WHEN messaging kicks-in even without first reflecting on the possible reaction of the receiving party.  Indeed, that is a surefire way to cause a dent OR even a damage to COMMUNICATIONS between two or more persons.  And BTW, how often do you react and respond in a quick 'lightning' speed simply because we want to sound that smart???

C'mon dude, taking a few minutes before responding to the issue [especially in a heated verbal exchange] can help build trust and even create space for more meaningful COMMUNICATIONS.  Problem is, BAD COMMUNICATION habits are often something that we are NOT aware of even within ourselves.  One bad habit that is often overlooked is interrupting others WHICH means, we do NOT allow them to finish their thought and can even make them feel unheard OR worse, feel ignored.  Next time, they may not even speak❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Taking either extremes of the spectrum is bad enough.  LIKE speaking too fast without even pausing.  HOW can we give the listeners the opportunity to digest WHAT was said OR to even ask questions?  In our desire to share as much information as possible, it is easy to forget that silence is a necessary component of COMMUNICATIONS.  Indeed, when COMMUNICATIONS clash!@#?

When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD

When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD

This is not an EITHER OR stuff kind of thing but throughout our life, we'll all go through the gamut, sometimes savoring our WINs, at times struggling When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD.  BUT we won't waste time on the GOOD stuff.  BUT instead let's deep-dive as to WHAT triggers the trajectory of our EXPECTATIONS to go on an upswing, sometimes, too steep for even the top-notch Mt Everest climber📗📙📘

Hardships can push someone to have higher EXPECTATIONS because they want to improve their life circumstances.  While others, WHO have an easy life and obtain things without OR with very little effort, if at all, may NOT have that drive to achieve MORE in life.  BUT the real downside of higher EXPECTATIONS is that it can cause frustration, disappointment, anger, anxiety, stress, discouragement, resentment and sometimes that sense of FAILURE❎❎❎

WHAT's palpable here is an apparent disconnect because EXPECTATIONS are WHAT we think will happen WHILE reality is WHAT actually transpires.  And WHILE we hope these two will match up, they often DON'T.  This disparity of EXPECTATIONS versus reality can often lead to feelings of discontentment, and worse, even unhappiness.  The long and short of it, everything boils down to EXPECTATIONS😊😊😊

While EXPECTATIONS can play an important role in determining WHAT happens and can contribute to goal-directed behavior, they can also lead to disappointment WHEN reality does NOT match up to WHAT you hoped would happen.  Some signs that one might hold EXPECTATIONS include anticipating a certain outcome, holding a vision in your mind of HOW things will play out OR having a set idea of WHAT you want OR need from a situation.  YES, when EXPECTATIONS are NOT met, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration and worst, even anger💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  DON'T get me wrong though despite this litany of downsides arising from EXPECTATIONS because let's admit it, we need EXPECTATIONS.  WHY?  They anchor us.  They help us navigate the world better because we can expect certain things.  Hindsight can sometimes be 20/20.  Admittedly, from my past, when I did apply half myself, I got half the results.  It's just that people like it BUT aren't loving it.  And when I fully applied it in the past [and even till now], I got full results.  It's just that people would either love it OR they WOULD hate it.  Now, much as there are universal laws, I like the idea of having the EXPECTATION that if I follow my core values, priorities and desires, if I follow my meaning and purpose, I will experience joy.  This is one of the upsides of EXPECTATIONS after all💦💦💦