[Sometimes] The Harder You Try, The Worse It Gets

[Sometimes] The Harder You Try, The Worse It Gets

Heard of someone berating you, like:  THE MORE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, THE MORE YOU GET DISSATISFIED.   Been there, did that.  Endured that.  YES, this is the paradoxical dance we humans do with desire, effort and entropy.  We strive and toil, yearning for that elusive state of 'HAVING ALL OF IT TOGETHER'.  Yet, the universe seems to chuckle, swapping our crystal ball of hopes with a kaleidoscope of chaos.  Indeed, dude, The Harder You Try, The Worse It Gets📗📙📘

Recently I attended a TED TALK and for the first time, I heard this jargon 'LAW OF REVERSED EFFORT'.  At hindsight, I realized that except for that jargon itself, this was happening in our every day life.  WHY trying too hard could indeed ruin our road towards the success we yearn.  HOW often do you feel that despite your best efforts, success STILL eludes you?  You could be unknowingly violating that LAW OF REVERSED EFFORT😗😗😗

WHEN I did a lookup with regard the LAW OF REVERSED EFFORT, it tells us that any goal that requires too much consistent effort in one direction will eventually lead to frustration and a lack of progress.  Understanding how this law works is critical if we want to overcome obstacles and take a more effective action.  Let's take the most simple scenario of your glass of water.  Is it half-full OR half-empty???

HOW you answer that basic question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself and whether you're optimistic OR pessimistic, and it may even affect your health.  Indeed, some studies show that personality traits such as optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being.  The positive thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management as, according to health experts,  it is associated with many health benefits.  On the other hand, if you tend to be pessimistic, DON'T despair, you can learn [OR re-learn] positive thinking skills [all over again, sometimes and many times thereof].  BUT again, psychologists remind us to NEVER give up regardless of the avalanche of challenges we would face❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Life is like the seasons, as they say.  Sometimes, you're basking in the warmth of summer, WHEN everything feels light, easy, shiny and dandy, offering full of hope.  BUT then, out of nowhere, if you live nearer up north, the biting winter sets in.  If you're in the tropics, typhoons and tsunamis will hit hard.  Yes, indeed, sometimes happiness could feel like punishment, there are days you will feel that you DON'T deserve to be happy at all.  BUT hey dude, I get you.  Life could be hard on you now with the walls closing in BUT days are NOT linear because it could be suffocating and comfortable at the same time.  BUT dude, surviving DOESN'T always mean you look strong.  Sometimes, we're hanging by a thread, one breath at a time, AND THAT'S OKAY!!!

How Worrying Impacts Us?

How Worrying Impacts Us?

HOW come some people NEVER seem to worry? They tend to sleep soundly at night [even if they have a job interview come next day OR they need to catch a flight next day].  They DON'T leave parties recounting every conversation in their mind [even if they said something regrettable].  WHEN they receive a meeting request from their boss, they DON'T assume that he will receive a tonque-lashing OR worse, he'll be fired.  BUT many other people are chronic worriers.  BUT before I get bashed left and right, let's agree that WORRYING per se ISN'T innately wrong, bad OR even NEGATIVE.  It's pretty normal to worry about the final exams in school come next day [because they should motivate you to prepare and study harder.  So, how does Worrying Impact Us???

Factually, if worrying is consuming your daily life OR getting in the way of your happiness, it is quite likely that you are WORRYING excessively.  WHAT we need to distinguish, at this point, is the difference between typical WORRYING versus excessive WORRYING, and obviously, HOW to keep that WORRYING 'in check and NOT to spiral and end up as way beyond your control.  And while everyone agrees that WORRYING is specific to humans, that part of our brain's system called 'LIMBIC' is where most of our emotional processing happens, and that includes WORRYING, whether it's a one-off or chronic❎❎❎

Ironically, to quote medical specialists, constant WORRYING is ot a diagnosable mental health condition.  In brief, there is NO such thing as a 'WORRYING DISORDER'.  And according to experts, the closest mental health condition is generalized anxiety disorder.  And to be precise, psychologists claim that anxiety itself is feelings of WORRYING and unease.  Enough of medical stuff though.  So, WHY do we WORRY so much?  WHY is it some people never seem to WORRY while others seem consumed by it???

YES, this poster is 'spot on', i.e. WORRYING WILL NEVER CHANGE THE OUTCOME.  BUT what's the naked truth about all these?  It's that we can influence OR even change the outcome.  So, WHY do some still WORRY excessively?  Doctors explain it briefly in two words, THAT it is due to NATURE and NURTURE.  Besides that biological component [which experts claim at 30%], the other roughly 70% may be related to one's life experiences although doctors caution us with the variance between people💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WORRYING is deceptive and deceiving.  That explains that even our very own selves would sometimes be unaware that we're caught up already with WORRYING WHEN in truth, it will manifest in multifarious ways like having trouble sleeping, waking up and [STILL] feeling stressed, headaches, [THAT] racing heartbeat, feeling panicked, unable to difficulty to enjoy hobbies OR even relationships, inability to focus, OR being that 'short-tempered'.  So, WHAT should we do given all these possible manifestations?  Let's MOVE ON.  WHEN WHAT we're WORRIED about is out of your control,  counsellors advise us to consider 'REGULAR SELF-CARE' for combatting that chronic WORRYING.  Examples of SELF-CARE are regular exercise, eating nourishing food and spending time doing activities.  We just got to 'CUT and CUT CLEAN' how WORRYING impacts us😖😖😖

Fewer Choices = More Happiness?

Fewer Choices = More Happiness?

Do you agree:  Fewer Choices = More Happiness?  According to Google, everyday, we are bombarded with approximately 33,000 to 35,000 total decisions and that includes, WHAT do we eat, WHAT do we wear, WHAT do we say, HOW do we say it.  So much so that psychologists have coined the term 'DECISION FATIGUE' to refer to the deteriorating quality of our decisions over time.  Can you imagine a typical task as going down the grocery store and looking to buy ketchup and you're faced with tons and tons of choices and options📗📙📘

Living in this world inundated with endless choices and options, from WHAT to wear to WHERE to eat, the concept of choice has become synonymous with freedom and empowerment.  However, recent research suggests that an abundance of choices may NOT always lead to greater satisfaction and happiness.  In fact, here comes the paradox of choice theory posits that having one too many options can overwhelm individuals, leading to DECISION FATIGUE, anxiety, and even dissatisfaction.  So, can we agree that fewer choices can promote happiness💧💧💧

Indeed, this sheer number of choices available now in our societies can be super overwhelming, leading us all to that DECISION FATIGUE, that state of mental exhaustion caused by the constant need to make choices.  And WHEN we're faced with that abundance of options, we as individuals may expend significant mental energy, weighing the pros and cons of each choice, leading to that 'DECISION PARALYSIS' which is also known as ANALYSIS PARALYSIS, because the tons of choices would tend to encourage us to pre-analyze and even post-analyze every single option, until you would realize that you got stalled in the decision you got to make💥💥💥

So, WHY DON'T we look back at ourselves.  HOW many choices have you made today?  From the time your alarm went off early morning, even when you decided, albeit grumpily, to get out of bed instead of pressing the snooze button, you decided to challenge yourself to go over for a fast-paced yoga session, to have that long hot shower, and put on the wardrobe that's consistent with your flair for sartorial elegance.  NOW, if we spend seven hours sleeping a day, that makes roughly 2,000 decisions per hour or roughly, one decision every second, whew!@#$%?

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT look too far back.  Just listen to the folks living in the countryside, WHERE they live simple lives, with fewer choices and options to grapple with, YET how often do we hear that the countryside population is more discontented and disgruntled than the urbanized population WHO have to struggle with many more options and choices as compared to our counterparts in the countryside.  OR even going back to our childhood WHERE we had fewer and shorter agenda in life, WEREN'T we happier than WHEN we had tons of options and choices in life now???

Are People Better Than You?

Are People Better Than You?

Are People Better Than You?  Oh Oh, c'mon dude.  IF and WHEN we start thinking of others as better than us, our immediate NEXT STEP is to act in order to stop that chain of thought, period.  BUT hey, if we compare ourselves to others, we will [likely] come up short every time if we are in a NEGATIVE thought cycle.  Yes, it's that easy to get caught up in those feelings of inadequacy because it feels like there's always someone better out there doing something much better than we do and than we are📗📙📘

Yes, we got to remember THAT WHAT you see does reflect you.  WHEN it comes to the way we see others, there are a lot of factors at play here.  It's important to remember that everyone is a mirror in many ways.  The fact that you can see the happiness and goodness of a person means that you have a lot of that from within yourself.  It is your very own goodness that enables you to identify and appreciate the goodness around you.  YES, if there's anything that should wake us up, it is the belief that we should feel BLESSED for everything that you want.  Apparently, this is a adopted from Hawaiian philosophy that propounds that if you want something that someone else had, bless them💦💦💦

Experts encourage us to 'silently' appreciate all aspects you love about them.  And then, focus on all the good and keep blessing it.  And, as they say, even if you DON'T believe about this universe, doing that will at least break that vicious cycle of NEGATIVE and self-deprecating thoughts.  YES, it seems easy to think that everyone around us is having a better time than we are, especially WHEN we're comparing our lives with those of other people.  WHAT a mix-up here😗😗😗

The problem WHEN we compare ourselves to others is that we are often looking at WHAT they versus WHAT we DON'T have.  And that's a terrible first step in any thought process as you're coming up as handicapped right at the very start of that inequitable comparison.  Next time, WHEN you catch yourself drifting to that thought, STOP IT❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHY DON'T we start thinking about WHAT you have that you truly appreciate?  Those could be simple things like having a wonderful job OR a loving family OR supportive parents.  It helps to make that list WHEN you are in that 'happier zone'.  Problem is, we spend a lot of time and energy just thinking about HOW other people are better than us.  BUT we hardly ever share our thoughts with the people close enough to us.  Bottom line is let's think about WHO you want to become.  And take it from there, dude❗❗❗

Who Says They Know You So Well???

Who Says They Know You So Well???

Who Says They Know You So Well???  Really? I'm sorry, please tell that to the marines because we should know ourselves better than anyone else, regardless if you''re referring to your bestie/bff's, partner/spouse, workmate.  Strange, ISN'T it?  You know yourself than anyone else, YET you crumble at the words of someone WHO hasn't even lived a second of your life.  Dude, focus on your own voice.  It's the only one that matters.  All other voices, including those from your bestie/bff, partner/spouse, they are still that important BUT there's at least a mile-long of a gap between WHAT you know about yourself versus WHAT they know about you📗📙📘

Indeed, true words BUT how many people out there actually fall for WHAT others say.  I know I have.  In fact, only you yourself knows the truth about yourself.  So, the mind-boggling question is, WHY is it that we listen to WHAT others say about us?  WHY is it that we believe WHAT others say about us?  We know ourselves BUT still we fall for it.  WHY?  WHEN we know ourselves like the palm of our hands!!!

WHEN you find yourself believing other words, it's hard to pull yourself out and listen to your own voice again.  Just NEVER give up on yourself.  NEVER stop believing in yourself.  People will say things about you because they AREN'T happy with themselves so they will tend to drag you down.  Everyday WHEN you get up and look in the mirror, always tell yourself POSITIVE things and it will carry you throughout the day.  WHEN you find yourself feeling down about yourself, blurt out all the POSITIVE things about yourself.  Psychologists claim that any POSITIVITY you will create will lead to making you think better, feel better and researches show that it will carry you throughout the day.  WHEN you find yourself feeling down about yourself, say those POSITIVE things and DON'T be stingy with words to express your innermost part💥💥💥

BUT, dude, DON'T stop there.  Spread those POSITIVE comments to other people in that way they can feel better about themselves as well.  Let us NOT crumble at the NEGATIVITY BUT instead stand in the POSITIVITIES in life.  We got to remember that in our journey towards achieving our goals and dreams, there will be instances WHERE we'll be discouraged OR we may even end up getting lost along the way.  And in that journey, you might even see content OR hear from other people WHAT you might do.  And hey, there's NO problem listening to all those voices as long as they make sense, right???

Our takeaway:  Regardless of all these good intentions we have, NOT all of these things will work AS IS.  There will be things OR approaches that will work OR NOT work at all.  Then, this is cut for you, for you to take up that challenge.  As you know yourself better than anyone, we got to constantly remember that anything and everything you do is for you and much as there are well-meaning people around you, TRUST yourself and your instincts more than anyone else❗❗❗

Are You A SQUARE PEG In A ROUND HOLE?

Are You A SQUARE PEG In A ROUND HOLE?

Are You A SQUARE PEG In A ROUND HOLE?  Hmmm, in the past, I'll admit I did manifest that at one point.  How often you hear a daughter asking her mom to switch schools for reasons only the daughter can fathom.  BTW, this is a no-no in Singapore where a family's domicile is pegged to the school nearest located to them.  BUT elsewhere, surely we would often hear begging and egging their parents that they switch schools.  NOT until a practical mom stomps her foot down and blurts out "YOU NEED TO LEARN TO GROW WHERE YOU LIVE".  On the same breadth, if we're A SQUARE PEG In A ROUND HOLE, then we got to listen to this practical mom's sage advice📗📙📘

Looking back, how many times a day do you wish for your life to be different?  Perhaps you wish you lived in a different place OR had a different job.  Maybe you think that if the right person came along, your life would feel complete.  Really?  Maybe you're bordering into FOMO, that fear of missing out? And, probably you're always thinking that you should be somewhere other than WHERE you are.  We've all done it.  And I admit that's exhausting💥💥💥

Just like veggies, they grow WHERE they can grow.  Now, try dreaming further up.  BUT let's admit that at times, it is damn difficult to resist dreaming along that path.  Yes sometimes you will tend to resist BUT eventually you will succumb to daydreaming of faraway places.  That one day, you'll get out of this place.  WHAT could be the end result?  FRUSTRATION.  And because we all DON'T like that feeling of being stuck, we might end up with feelings of 'screw this'💧💧💧

Yes, surely, at least at one point in your life, you hate WHAT you are, WHERE you are, WHAT you do, WITH whom you're with, UNTIL one day you will end up to absolutely love everything.  WHY?  It's because you made that conscious choice TO BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED.  it could be a job, a relationship, home OR anything that you're wishing away BUT WHAT IF you set the intention to stop resisting it and begin to make the absolute best with WHERE you are right now✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  INSTEAD of neglecting your home because you DON'T like it, create a room that you would love.  INSTEAD of hating your culture, seek out culture and arts in your community.  INSTEAD of hating your work now, explore creative ways to make your job MORE fulfilling, MORE enjoyable.  INSTEAD of hating your hobbies now, find that hobby you will enjoy. There's more to life than just work and paying bills.  WHEN you fill your life with simple pleasures and pursuits, you will bloom.  Let me cap this off my simple pleasures.  Four months ago, I discovered daily hour-long morning walks.  Today, I just DON'T feel better.  I am gradually reaping the 'fruits of labor' as early as now, details I'll share in subsequent threads😌😌😌

Hitting ROCK BOTTOM Will Tell You HOW HIGH You Can Go

Hitting ROCK BOTTOM Will Tell You HOW HIGH You Can Go

Nothing debatable here.  We all go through our LOW POINTS in life.  Yes, they feel like 'shit' [pardon the harsh word].  BUT hey dude, they are a BIG need in our life [ironically].  WHY?  Because they give us the realization that 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH'.  THAT it's now the time to reach the highest point in life.  BUT HOW?  No such thing like that 'BIG BANG' theory [which remains such a theory till today].  Hitting ROCK BOTTOM Will Tell You HOW HIGH You Can Go📗📙📘

To borrow a favorite expression by Malaysians and Singaporeans, 'SO HOW?"  First off, your trajectory has to change and if it will entail you to do a 90-degree turnaround, JUST DO IT.  HOW in the first place can you go up to the north if you're south-bound?  Once you do realize and take action on that critical turn, then that 'journey towards excellence and greatness' kickstarts😌😌😌

At that point, can you anticipate if your energy levels would be so down and drained to render you immobile?  OR with inertia trigger your own ignition, all because of the frustration coming from that LOWEST POINT you hit!  I came across an old literary piece comparing humans to steel, such that we would sometimes here someone tagged as a MAN of STEEL BUT today, let's admit it [although it hurts] that we humans are [generally] unimaginably SOFT + WEAK.  To make things worse, we tend to be so vulnerable even to the slightest whiff of air that changes course which, if at all, only causes our strands of hair to get ruffled.  BUT alas, anything less than perfect is deemed imperfect and a near-crisis!@#$%?

It's like a little bit of crisis suddenly popping up in our life.  Then, WHAT happens next?  People begin to have those incessant PANIC attacks.  Top heavy infusion of stress creeps in fast, faster than the flash floods in the Australian outbacks.  WHAT comes next after stress?  Confusion.  Anxiety.  Then, we need to be uncomfortable now.  We got to do and get immerse with some real hard things, WHATEVER it takes❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  At that point, NOTHING gets easy.  BUT good for us because that eventually builds our immunity to survive at our lowest points.  And we CAN'T be less prepared in life.  And once you hit ROCK BOTTOM, that LOWEST POINT, one thing gets super crystal clear.  There is nothing to lose anymore.  That is your LOWEST.  That's it.  So, WHAT's your next move?  Will you do the same things [AGAIN???]  Will you still hang out with those same sore losers?  Will you be at your lowest point FOREVER?  Dude, HITTING ROCK BOTTOM WILL TELL YOU HOW HIGH YOU CAN GO, promise💥💥💥

Taking A STEP BACK Is A STEP FORWARD

Taking A STEP BACK Is A STEP FORWARD

Let's take a reality check.  Sometimes, Taking A STEP BACK can be hard.  BUT more often than NOT, there are pressing reasons to take BREAKS when you need to, to stop yourself from reaching BURNOUT.  And it should be fine to discuss the reasons WHY you're TAKING A STEP BACK.  Thing is, you DON'T even need to pretend to make other people feel more comfortable.  It should be OK to talk openly about your mental health.  Unfortunately, until this year 2024, there is still so much stigma around mental health issues [and maybe there will be some people WHO DON'T understand it all.  Really, it makes sense to to take space to focus on WHAT is and ISN'T making you happy.  WHETHER things in your life are right for you. Be it coming off of social media to protect your mental health, taking some sick pay from work, taking some space from the people WHO are making you feel pressured, it's A STEP FORWARD📘📙📗

Regardless of your situation now, there is absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty for, when TAKING A STEP BACK.  In fact, you SHOULDNT feel guilty OR ashamed of taking time off to focus on your health if you had a broken leg.  Oh Oh, my apologies, I hate that analogy BUT it is true and one of the best ways to open your eyes and realize just HOW you need to UNPRIORITIZE something in order to PRIORITIZE another thing, it makes such action as valid enough.  For anyone WHO needs to take a STEP BACK at the moment BUT doesn't know how, it all starts by writing a note to those you need to STEP BACK FROM.  WHETHER that's your boss, OR your family member OR your partner/spouse, sometimes things can be best said WHEN written down [verbals can create gaps and disconnects, instead of imparting the correct messaging]💢💢💢

BUT before the communications piece gets waylaid, focus on the MAIN REASONS WHY you need to STEP BACK, to TAKE A BREAK.  And make sure the BREAK you're talking is indeed reflective of WHAT you're looking to achieve.  Ask yourself, are you looking to rest?  Then, you better be sure that you will rest.  Are you looking to keep your circle small enough?  Then do communicate with the people in your life to explain your reasons [ghosting hurts!!!]💧💧💧

More importantly, DON'T unnecessarily add pressure onto yourself.  If you're finding something as either too scary OR simply overwhelming at that moment, maybe leave it at that.  BUT if you're NOT ready to talk about it, then that's OK because it's OK to just say you need to STEP BACK to protect your mental health.  Hey, you DON'T even need to justify it yourself.  Instead, LOOK AFTER YOU.  You are the most important person in this scenario and it is absolutely fine to focus solely on yourself.  WHAT we need to vividly remember is that you are important, valid and worthy and more than that, you deserve that kind of space to heal, to recuperate, to rejuvenate, OR to even soul-search💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  TAKING A STEP BACK means withdrawing from something for you to gain some level of CLARITY and understanding of that bigger picture.  And WHEN you take that time to STEP BACK, it allows you to move forward in the right direction.  In effect, STEPPING BACK is your strategic move to STEP FORWARD [at a later point, and it's NOT waving the 'white flag' at all].  At the end of the day, it's ONLY YOU who can make the judgment call that is best for you😀😀😀

When Goals Remain As PIPE DREAMS

When Goals Remain As PIPE DREAMS

Everything in this world we live in have an EXPIRATION DATE.  Even the non-tangibles like relationships, WHICH, unless you nurture and nourish, it will EXPIRE [and die a natural death].  EXCEPT DREAMS.  Yes dude, your DREAM has NO EXPIRATION DATE.  You can dream about all those endless possibilities even with NO clear idea of WHAT the immediate future held for you.  BUT When Goals Remain As PIPE DREAMS???

Through the years, we always hear THAT we should have the courage to go for our DREAMS, THAT we should trust our own instincts, THAT we should follow our hearts, THAT we should be embracing even uncertainty, THAT we should be the first one to solidly believe in our own selves  WHAT happens next, yes we end up following 'to the letter' all these 'THAT' clauses but alas, NOTHING progresses, NOTHING results positively, NOTHING good arises from our honest DREAMS.  WHY?  And that's the thing.  More often, WHEN we try something new, venturing into roads less OR even untraveled, even when we dared to take the risk, it rarely works out as we envisioned.  Alas, WHEN unexpected challenges arise, WHEN things go 'WRONG', it is THAT tempting to tell ourselves THAT we've failed,  THAT we should instead stick to WHAT we know.  Then, that throws us back to the deepest corners of our comfort zone, whew!!!

So, should we just PLAY IT SAFE and leave out our DREAMS only to those WHO have WHAT it takes?  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  DON'T succumb to such thoughts.  DON'T let those NEGATIVE thoughts and self-doubt bring you down.  Instead, endeavor to keep your FOCUS on your goal[s] and keep going in that right direction.  Meanwhile, ask yourself, WHAT have you learned from those debacles to date?  No, please DON'T react that it's too premature to ask those questions intended as post-mortem???

Let's take real-life scenarios.  WHEN one has been working in an organization and suddenly opts to be self-employed, that is a change akin to a 'tectonic plate' shifting.  And of course, to some degree, you would have anticipated that to be self-employed would be much harder than ever BUT the bigger question, are OR where you prepared for that psychological shift it would take?  Likely NO, right?  If through the years you worked for people and pretty much done WHAT you were told, indeed to be self-employed is a HUGE change

Our takeaway:  A big chunk of things in life will take shape only once you have CROSSED THE BRIDGE.  In retrospect, had you not left that 8 to 5 job and went self-employed, absolutely you would have NOT known that.  And you'd still be working, resenting every moment, wanting to jump BUT NOT daring to do it and always wondering "WHAT IF".  Before things get stalled, CONCRETIZE and PRIORITIZE your dreams, backed up with a TIMELINED CONCRETE PLAN no less❗❗❗

How ASSERTIVENESS Will Help You In Life

How ASSERTIVENESS Will Help You In Life

For many of us [and that included moi in the past], I never gave that much weight on being ASSERTIVE.  I thought it's NOT part of our core communication skill.  BUT hey I'm grossly wrong because experts tell us that being ASSERTIVE is indeed a core communication skill.  Because ASSERTIVENESS can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.  So, How ASSERTIVENESS Will Help You In Life???

So, WHY exactly ASSERTIVENESS makes sense?  Before we get mixed up, ASSERTIVENESS is NOT being ABRASIVE.  On the other hand, ASSERTIVENESS is based on mutual respect.  First and foremost, being ASSERTIVE shows that you respect yourself because you're willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings.  It also demonstrates that you're aware of others' rights and willing to work on resolving conflicts.  BTW, being ASSERTIVE means NOT being PASSIVE😀😀😀

Let's face it.  If your style is being that PASSIVE or NON-ASSERTIVE, you may seem to be shy OR overly easygoing.  You may routinely say things such as "I'LL JUST GO WITH WHATEVER THE GROUP DECIDES." True, with that kind of stance, you tend to avoid conflict.  BUT WHY is that a problem?  It's because the message you're sending is that your thoughts and feelings AREN'T as important as those of other people💧💧💧

In essence, WHEN you're too PASSIVE, you allow other people to ignore your WANTS and NEEDS.  ISN'T that off-track?  Let's take a real-life scenario.  You would say YES [without any resistance] WHEN your colleague asks you to take over a task OR deliverable [EVEN IF you fully know well that you CAN'T take more workload anymore].  True, your intention may be to keep the PEACE [BUT AT WHAT COST?]???

Our takeaway:  The assumption that being PASSIVE saves you from more trouble OR conflict is an age-old fallacy.  WHY?  Because your PASSIVE behavior OR attitude could even lead you to stress, resentment, seething anger, feelings of being a victim, desiring to exact revenge, OR worst, doubting OR questioning your very own judgment.  NOW, WHAT if you're AGGRESSIVE?  You may come across as a bully WHO ignores others' needs, feelings OR opinions.  You may think that being AGGRESSIVE gets you WHAT you want.  BUT that comes at a cost.  Our takeaway:  Being ASSERTIVE is the way to go, NEITHER being PASSIVE NOR AGGRESSIVE💥💥💥