When NEGATIVITY Becomes Pervasive

When NEGATIVITY Becomes Pervasive

Many think that NEGATIVITY is just another 'fly in the ointment' BUT it's NOT.  Factually, let us realize that NEGATIVITY has become so pervasive.  It cuts across cultures, social strata and it's all over the place whether you are from the First World OR Third World.  And surprisingly, some of us [wrongly] think that a disease OR illness are the reasons for your tired body OR prolonged aches, BUT have you ever thought that thinking NEGATIVELY could be the reason?  In fact, various researches resulted in the common conclusion that pervasive pessimism affects more than just our emotional health

In medical studies, doctors have found that people with high levels of NEGATIVITY are more likely to suffer from degenerative brain diseases, cardiovascular problems, digestive issues, and recover from sickness much slower than those with a POSITIVE MINDSET.  So, WHAT causes NEGATIVITY? Generally, studies show that it is a product of INSECURITY or DEPRESSION

Studies also showed that it can stem from illness, life events, personality problems, OR substance abuse.  Like many things in life, NEGATIVITY too can [alarmingly] become a habit.  Frequent criticism, cynical thoughts, and denial can create "NEURAL PATHWAYS" in the brain that would encourage SADNESS.  These NEGATIVE tendencies can cause our brain to distort the TRUTH and make it even more difficult to break the NEGATIVITY❎❎❎

BUT here's the GOOD NEWS!  Experts claim, or so, that like most habits, we can break this NEGATIVITIES if they are so pervasive till now.  HOW?

• STOP being CYNICAL
• STOP being HOSTILE 
• STOP FILTERING - only noticing BAD stuff
• STOP JUMPING to conclusions
• STOP BLAMING others
• STOP EMOTIONAL reasoning

So, let's hear from the medical experts as to HOW NEGATIVITY affects our body.  Alarmingly, they say that headache, chest pains, fatigue, upset stomach, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and even drastic changes in metabolism [e.g. over-eating] are some of the common effects of NEGATIVITY.  So, if and when NEGATIVITY becomes pervasive, it's ON US to rectify it ASAP and DON'T let it go from BAD to WORSE❗❗❗

That Thing Called 'LONELINESS'

That Thing Called 'LONELINESS'

That Thing Called 'LONELINESS'We human beings are SOCIAL CREATURES.  While it's normal to feel LONELY sometimes, we thrive within relationships and communities of people.  WHEN you feel isolated and cut off from others, it can take a toll on both your mental and physical health, sending your stress levels soaring, triggering anxiety and even depression, and worse, increasing your risk for heart disease and worst, stroke.  That Thing Called 'LONELINESS' is something most of us have to deal with at certain times.  You may have to quarantine away from loved ones for health reasons [during the recent pandemic].  Just one too many scenarios for That Thing Called 'LONELINESS'💴💷💵

In other circumstances, you may find that you have a number of casual acquaintances BUT no friends close enough to make you feel understood OR cared for.  WHATEVER the reasons for your feeling LONELY, know that it is a normal human experience and there are steps you can take to alleviate that LONELINESS predicament📗📙📘

So, HOW do we fix this seemingly casual concern?  Primero, find creative means to KEEP IN TOUCH.  Studies show that during in-person interactions, your body releases hormones that reduce stress and stimulate positive emotional responses.  That's WHY face-to-face contact with friends and family is so integral in our MENTAL HEALTH💎💎💎

BUT let's face reality here.  It's NOT always possible to connect in-person with loved ones whenever feelings of LONELINESS would creep in.  Whether you're travelling with work, living far away, or kept apart for another reason, there are other ways of staying CONNECTED and avoiding ISOLATION.  These days when technology and social media are right on our finger tips, there's just NO excuse on this❎❎❎

Segundo, engage with communities and that could include volunteerism.  WHEN I lived in Singapore and LONELINESS did strike me, I became a Volunteer Probation Officer of the government's Ministry for Community Development and Services.  And I can attest that drastically softened the impact of LONELINESS.  WHY?  Because I became busy, period.  I just had NO time to sulk, NO reason to be cynical, NO chance to further push myself down in a deep morass.  With my hands full, I was literally, engaged with my volunteerism.  THAT THING CALLED LONELINESS, let's shed that off❗❗❗

How's Your ELEVEN O'CLOCK Performance?

How's Your ELEVEN O'CLOCK Performance?

'PEAK MOMENTS' is an all-encompassing term used to describe the flow of performance, normally in our productive activities either at home or at work and this has become more popular in competitive sports.  BUT how about that ELEVEN O'CLOCK Performance?  BTW, this was coined from the musical theaters where the prime number starts around eleven o'clock in the evening.  You can guess what's the energy level of the audience when eleven o'clock kicks in💴💵

BUT from a theater perspective [think about Broadway scenarios], the audience's feedback will revolve as to How's Your ELEVEN O'CLOCK Performance.  Imagine ourselves being part of the audience, so before eleven o'clock, you could be yawning, falling asleep OR at the very least, getting either fidgety OR bored, so that explains the utter importance when eleven o'clock kicks in.  As you're getting bored, the performer is in his final phases of rehearsal and 'final preps'📗📙📘

Otherwise, if you're into your other productive activities, like an F1 formula driver, your "eleven o'clock" moment kicks-in when you're a few pit stops away from the FINISH LINE and you're within striking distance of the leaders from the first pack, such that all you need is the final adrenalin rush💎💎💎

In a work setup, whether you've peaked already or still about to peak, obviously we as workers are expected to be on a 'constant peak' because we CAN'T be like a 'flash in the pan'.  Regardless though, even as workers, we got to manifest that "eleven o'clock" performance, even if it means, constantly.  Otherwise, it is inexcusable and acceptable to our bosses and clients if we'll claim that we've already peaked at eleven o'clock❓❓❓

WHAT's our takeaway today?  It just behooves that we all should ALWAYS endeavor to give an "ELEVEN O'CLOCK" PERFORMNCE, NOT JUST by "ELEVEN O'CLOCK" but as much as possible from end-to-end, from the time the game's buzzer sounds on till it sounds off because the expectation from us is to be 'almost constantly' at the level of an "ELEVEN O'CLOCK" PERFORMANCE❗❗❗

Anyone In The BLAME GAME?

Anyone In The BLAME GAME?

Who hasn't played the BLAME GAME?  While blaming is a part of human nature, it often works against us.  And quite often, it can work either way.  Sadly, life is full of BLAMERS, and there is plenty to BLAME to go around.  Do you remember hearing someone blaming the weather, your partner/spouse, your job, kids, parents, government, OR even God? So, Anyone In The BLAME GAME❓❓❓

So, BLAMING is easy to do. Too easy in fact.  So, does this make it right?  It really depends.  Now, before we ger embroiled with a to-and-fro thing, let's align as to how BLAME is defined.  Simply put, it is to assign responsibility for a FAULT or WRONG.  And finding a good use of BLAME is a rarity, if at all.  BUT let's qualify things that there are situations in which it is OKAY to BLAME when done correctly: 

• WHEN accepting BLAME
• WHEN BLAMING yourself

We are often told that whenever you point your finger at someone, three other fingers are pointing back to you.  Yessss, there's a lot of TRUTH in that old saying.  However, WHEN you accept BLAME or BLAME yourself, it becomes a different story.  BLAMING yourself in the wrong way can be harmful.  HOW?  It can shut down your ability to learn.  Should you have a good reason to BLAME yourself, be willing to take responsibility for it and correct it moving forward.  Thankfully, this kind of BLAME is usually short-lived📌📌📌

An example of BLAMING oneself and learning to accept it during one's career can cause one to blow his top till things will definitely worsen, with protagonists unloading their barrels [FIGURATIVELY speaking].  BUT when things would have simmered down, that's the only time you will regain your senses and a terrible feeling settled in.  And by the time you realize your mistake, a regretful feeling will then weigh in heavily on oneself❌❌❌

So WHAT's our takeaway today?  It's the fact that nobody walks a perfectly straight road, lined with gold.  Sometimes, the fork in the road is pleasant and easy to travel.  BUT life is full of crisscrossing OR intersecting paths, twists and turns, and ups and downs.  And huge mountains, unexpected holes, potholes, trenches, clouds, pools of darkness and vast dark valleys would also surface along the way.  Given those realities, just DON'T 'crucify' OR blame yourself for WHAT you do to yourself, OR for the state of the world, OR for someone else's UNHAPPINESS.  Just DON'T get angry with yourself for NOT being perfect. And it's our human fault when we tend to BLAME ourselves so quickly for wrong things that would unexpectedly surface.  NOT TOO FAST, dude❎❎❎

Should Our Life Be An OPEN BOOK?

Should Our Life Be An OPEN BOOK?

Many of us say proudly that our life is an OPEN BOOK and that is perfectly fine.  NOTHING is hidden.  WHAT you see is WHAT you get.  And that's laudable.  And no less than celebrities live their lives like an OPEN BOOK.  Except WHEN they opt NOT to.  And again, that's perfectly fine.  BUT the question that bothers me is HOW FAR and HOW OPEN should our book of life be?  And I'll quickly quip:  This may sound awkward BUT NOT ALL please.  NOT all our 'private parts'.  Now, we can argue days and weeks on this.  Should Our Life Be An OPEN BOOK💵💴💷

With social media all over us, we CAN'T be totally blamed but again, it's our own judgment call and prudence dictates that we leave some things in our life within our own confines.  WHY?  Because sometimes people might dare to make trolls.  Because sometimes we have our own dark or darkest parts in our life which are left to be kept as such.  So, YES, no problem for us to be an OPEN BOOK but be selective enough about choosing the area where you should OPEN UP and WHEN NOT. It's true most celebrities live life like an OPEN BOOK but let's NOT put ourselves alongside their pedestals📗📙📘

Looking at many sharings across our iives, we should NOT be an OPEN BOOK everywhere even we can be wrong WHEN trust creeps in because 'snakes' can be hidden inside of any person and when they mess, it's likely they might bite you and that bite could be poisonous like snake bites so we need to be careful to trust someone around us.  This is NOT always necessary to be open up so try to avoid being an OPEN BOOK and be one, ONLY IF NECESSARY📌📌📌

If there is one place WHERE being an OPEN BOOK is never going to be bad OR worse, that one place is our own prayers to our respective Gods, WHERE nothing is hidden.  Frankly, it is a fact of life that sometimes people around us sometimes get jealous seeing our HAPPINESS and burst out with jealousy. That's the mother of all ironies.  After we become transparent by becoming an OPEN BOOK, we will end up bearing the brunt of jealousy from others.  Sometimes when we share sorrows, a 'hater'  masked as a 'friend' can seem to commiserate with our woes BUT deep inside, your guess is as good as mine❎❎❎

BUT things have really gone BERSERK.  Many of us just CAN'T save things within.  A hot date.  A recent promotion.  OR even the weather.  Whatever it is, people will always tell others too much.  This may seem fine on the surface BUT it isn't.  We shouldn't tell people EVERYTHING.  When we tell people things WITHOUT A FILTER, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position.  How many lives have been ruined by unexpected betrayals?  The uncomfortable answer is 'A LOT'.  So, please do re-think things a hundred times SHOULD OUR LIFE BE AN OPEN BOOK❗❗❗

Mental Toughness, Anyone?

Mental Toughness, Anyone?

Have we ever wondered WHAT makes someone a good athlete?  OR a good leader?  OR a good parent?  WHY do some people accomplish their GOALS while others fail? WHAT makes the difference?  Usually we would answer these questions by talking about the talent of top performers like, HE MUST BE THE SMARTEST SCIENTIST, SHE'S FASTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE....Mental Toughness, Anyone❓❓❓

BUT I think we all know that there is more to the story than that.  In fact, WHEN we start looking on it, your talent and your intelligence DON'T play nearly as big of a role as you might think.  This research result is a shocker:  INTELLIGENCE ACCOUNTS for 30% of ONE'S ACHIEVEMENT.  BTW, that number is at the upper end.  So, WHAT makes a bigger impact than TALENT or INTELLIGENCE?  Yesirrrrs, MENTAL TOUGHNESS it is💵💴💷

Research studies are starting to reveal that your MENTAL TOUGHNESS a.k.a. GRIT, plays a more important role than anything else for achieving your goals in life, in health, in business.  Certainly, this is good news for us because we CAN'T do much about the genes you were born with, BUT you can do a lot to develop your MENTAL TOUGHNESS📗📙📘

So why is MENTAL TOUGHNESS so important?  Primero, it's because MENTAL TOUGHNESS, like any other skill, is a perishable skill.  You gotta practice it regularly.  Segundo, it only takes one second for us to FAIL at WHAT we are pursuing.  So, DONT let your mind take control of you within that one second, NO WAY❎❎❎

Tercero, NEVER be ashamed of anything you have done in your life, including your slip-ups, your blunders.  Simply FACE IT, FIX IT, and make it better.  BTW, most successes in life actually is avoiding failure.  And you DON'T become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror BUT by having a stack of undeniable proof that you got a DOG IN YOU, that you gotta be your own motivator❗❗❗

Be Successful Versus Be Contented

Be Successful Versus Be Contented

One of those little-little noises reverberating just below the surface is where we should Be Successful Versus Be Contented enough?  And this is when we can blow this up to a bigger 'debate' because indeed, TRUE HAPPINESS is NOT found solely in material belongings OR even achievements.  In fact, LIFE can't be an EITHER/OR where we define SUCCESS as trapped in a rat race to keep up with others or fulfilled by sacrificing our outward SUCCESS to attend to our other emotional needs📗📙📘

BTW, achievements and satisfaction are two sides of the same coin.  It CAN'T be two different things to be achieved.  Our capacity for achievement is driven by our ability to form relationships and our own self-confidence.  And the more we are supported in life by having our WANTS addressed, the more we can then cultivate sentiments of CONTENTMENT💵💷💴

Experiencing HOW to feel CONTENTED [or fulfilled] is difficult if you HAVEN'T accomplished anything, so mastering the art of achievement is the first lesson in living an extraordinary life.  WHY don't we agree that this is our SUCCESS formula?  We are making dreams come true means mastering our achievement.  BUT achievement will only get you so far📌📌📌

Many people are unbelievably successful BUT still feel dissatisfied and unhappy.  It's like they CAN'T feel accomplished.  The MORE you become used to something, the LESS you appreciate it.  Psychologists did tag this as that 'LAW OF FAMILIARITY' but hey, this is NOT the way our life has to remain, right, if at all💊💊💊

What's our takeaway for today?  It's that we need MORE THAN SUCCESS in order to live a rich life.  We must live.  FULFILLMENT will only come WHEN we find WHAT makes us HAPPY, WHAT brings you joy, makes you satisfied.  Instead of expecting something and failing in that TRAP of FAMILIARITY, LET US APPRECIATE THAT IT IS ALREADY THERE❗❗❗

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES?

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES?

Are We Hostaged By ROUTINES? Before we get tied up with this rather interesting topic, let us agree that by and large, an effective routine can help reduce stress which can lead to better mental health, more time to relax and obviously less anxiety.  BUT other than those, should we get stuck with ROUTINES📗📙📘

Now, let's paint common routine scenarios like someone who's so disciplined he did stick to his routines for several years which starts with his alarm clock waking him up 5:15am, then he grabs a quick bite of bread then chugs a bottle of water, then warms up and stretches for five minutes then hops on his bike for a 30-minute ride.  Then the bike's pedal gets broken.  He had to order parts and had to wait💎💎💎

Then, his morning routine falls apart, right?  His bike DIDN'T work so he CAN'T exercise.  He CAN'T exercise so he stopped getting up early.  He WASN'T going to exercise so why grab something to eat.  Then, he even stopped drinking a bottle of water, whew.  See that ripple effect when one segment of one's ROUTINE breaks down❓❓❓

Ironically, the 'IMPROVEMENT' ripple effect which focuses on improving one thing, no matter how small, naturally leads to improvements in other areas BUT the end result is the exact OPPOSITE.  Sadly, one's entire ROUTINE has fell apart.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  ROUTINES are often critical to SUCCESS.  Breaking a goal down into daily activities and then consistently performing those activities day-in day-out❎❎❎

Until something disrupts a ROUTINE, especially since the more rigidly follow a ROUTINE, the more likely a single broken link will disrupt the entire chain.  So WHAT's our fix?  Let us turn a ROUTINE into a PRACTICE.  So WHAT's the difference?  It is in the FLEXIBILITY, dude. One is about daily rhythm.  The other is a lifelong pursuit.  One can be ruined by something as simple as hitting the snooze button one too many times or getting called into work unexpectedly.  In a nutshell, the ROUTINE is something you MADE up whereas the PRACTICE is something you do.  Let's unshackle ourselves from the ROUTINES, dude✅✅✅

Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY

Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY

Who DOESN'T want to be HAPPY?  Of course all of us do want to be HAPPY no less simply because there's a lot to be said for being HAPPY.  It makes us better at work, healthier, likelier to have good relationships, and can even extend our life and since we've all experienced both being HAPPY and UNHAPPY, we know being HAPPY is much more fun.  So, why not Let's Train Our Brain To Be HAPPY💵💴💷

Knowing that HAPPINESS is good for us WON'T make you HAPPIER of course.  If you're UNHAPPY, to begin with, thinking that you're missing out all the benefits of HAPPINESS can just make you feel worse.  Indeed, there are times in our lives WHEN it's normal to feel sadness and we shouldn't try to talk ourselves out of it📗📙📘

If you've lost your loved one OR you're going through a breakup OR you have lost your job OR have suffered another adverse life event, feeling sad is HEALTHY and just natural.  Conversely, if you've been UNHAPPY for a long time and DON'T know why OR you think you may be battling depression, it is smart to seek out professional counselling to sort things out💎💎💎

But alas, for many of us, HAPPINESS is a habit that we can cultivate.  That's because, thanks to evolution, the human BRAIN is designed to pay more attention to NEGATIVE thoughts and stimuli than POSITIVE ones.  It's worth learning HOW to pay more attention to the POSITIVE thoughts in our BRAINs and stimuli in our lives because our natural tendency is to downplay them.  Then, that just makes us UNHAPPIER than we should be.  So, till to date, many experts share that most common advice that we should endeavor to get our thinking become more POSITIVE and increase our HAPPINESS❎❎❎

Culling from experts, primero, they advise us to SELF-ASSESS if we're thinking POSITIVE.  According to the experts, the simple act of asking that question will help us start thinking more POSITIVE thoughts more often.  They advise as well that we memorize a list of HAPPY words because when we force our BRAIN to use POSITIVE words frequently, we make these words more accessible, more connected and easily activated in our BRAIN❗❗❗

Anchoring Your Roots

 Anchoring Your Roots

Quoting an anonymous writer, 'THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.  THOSE WHO ARE GOING THROUGH A CRISIS AND THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO GO THROUGH A CRISIS'.  And that's not debatable I guess as everyone must gone through STORMS in their life.  Name one who has NOT gone through STORMS?  Fortunately, the good news is that STORMS DON'T last forever.  Yes, they have a beginning, they have a middle and they have an end.  Anchoring Your Roots during storms is WHAT matters💵💴💷

Absolutely, there will be many more upcoming STORMS.  NOT that we're wishing for one BUT it's simply part of life's realities.  Indeed, no one amongst us is a stranger when it comes to STORMS.  YET, no matter how many STORMS we survive, it's hard to like them as they bring NOTHING but turmoil, destruction, and despair.  Whether we like them OR not, NO one can escape them.  We all have weather STORMS in our personal life, work life, relationships, health or finance.  They come unannounced and UNINVITED📗📙📘

So, since there's NO way we can run away from STORMS, WHAT can we do?  Primero, let us look at the positive side of STORMS because STORMS clear our path.  Can you recall a time if after a STORM passes, our life or even the skies are NOT clear?  Thing is, Peaks of challenges and valleys of darkness are inevitable in our journey💎💎💎

What really matters and what should tie us up are NOT the STORMS but it's really HOW we respond to it, handling them, containing them.  Second upside of STORMS is that STORMS make us stronger.  Just like our muscle strength develops with resistance training, storms are our life's personalized resistance training program.  The more STORMS we face, the stronger we grow.  After all, AN EASY SAIL NEVER MAKES A GREAT SAILOR❎❎❎

I can share my side as well as I did face STORMS many many times in the past and with humility, yes, I'm still very much around, akin to the LAST MAN STANDING but that's NOT my point.  Without the STORMS, I am quite certain I would NOT have been the man I am now.  I may have been battered, bruised, demoralized and down in the past BUT I manage to anchor my roots to face up the many STORMS in life❗❗❗