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Thursday, April 21, 2022

Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Which happens more often?  Your guess is as good as mine.  We all know that most of the time, things will fizzle out over and over again whereas how often do we sizzle?  As the old cliche goes, 'ONCE IN A BLUE MOON?' What could explain that huge disproportion between SIZZLING when things FIZZLE OUT? Indeed that seems a huge puzzle but it is not.  What is ten times more puzzling is the swiftness when things go from SIZZLING to FIZZLE OUT.  We would hear narratives like... Nothing was wrong with our relationship  We had fun together.  I though we were seeing where things went naturally without any pressure to make anything 'official'.  One day, two weeks of non-communication, things seemed OVER ?!@#$

These days when social media is lording it all over our lives, we need to come into the realization that the disconnect happens much more swiftly and so saddening all because of technology, of our gadgets, of social media.  Even CLOSURES seem a thing of the past.  Instead, social media kicks in.  Messages alerts keep adding up in our social media apps.  But is this fair?

Regardless, if there is one NO-NO.  Let us NOT sulk because that will needlessly kill us.  On the surface, letting communication simply 'flatline' seems lazy and slightly cowardly but it's also a reflection of the low stakes emotional investment that a pair of people have staked in a brief dalliance.  When you've been seeing each other only for a short time, and the texts and phone calls have already begun to wane and peter out, it seems dramatic and slightly narcissistic to pick up the phone and tell someone what they already know.  There is no need to deliver a KILLING BLOW to something that is already dying a natural death.

Psychiatrist studies have shown that rarely two people have exactly the same feelings about what happened, what is happening and what is not speaking means.  This explains why psychiatrists recommend recommend a closure conversation.  Otherwise, can we imagine when someone leaves someone else with the aggrieved party not knowing why the other party ended things.  To say that that is painful may be an understatement.  But the biggest question we need to address is the puzzle how and why things can FIZZLE OUT so quickly?

But rather than waste time to deep-dive on something that is done, why don't we increase our awareness with proactive ways to pre-empt another future failure.  First, ensure the two parties are ALIGNED, which means both parties have the same expectations and commitment.  Second, both parties must be at the same level of READINESS to plunge into that relationship.  Where there is an imbalance, FIZZLING OUT is not far behind.  But when things FIZZLE OUT, that means you got to CUT and CUT CLEANDIVERT your focus.  DIVERT your priorities.  DIVERT your direction [just like a landing aircraft that diverts when the runway does not meet the minimum visibility.  Bottomline is, Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out✅✅✅

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