Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life?

Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life?

Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life? No sirrrrs, NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL.  There is no YES or NO to this question.  We can be either SOFT or STUBBORN depending on WHAT is warranted, reasonable and just.  And the boundary that separates this HUGE DIVIDE is a very thin thread which sometimes sways and wavers to either side💴💷💵

Even the horse has its moments and reasons when to be SOFT or STUBBORN.  In the Third World, especially in Hispanic countries, it is normal to see a subservient horse pulling the rickshaw, all for the daily earnings of the rickshaw driver.  BUT there are times when even your most subservient horse can be that stubborn.  Figure it out before letting the horse bear the brunt of your harsh treatment📗📙📘

If you swing things to me, with alacrity, I'll swear that I'm as soft as the marshmallow when it is warranted BUT when shove turns to push, I can be as hardened as the stones and the concrete walls.  And many times, where principles might get compromised, I'll stand pat on what I firmly believe and looping arguments WON'T deter me till I gain headway✅✅✅

Either way though has its downsides.  Often, being SOFT is tagged as a 'bad thing' because it implies weakness, BUT people love SOFT things.  Beds, clothing, blankets, stuffed toys. We just DON'T crave for sharp edges.  What we crave is comfort.  BUT as humans, we're expected to be HARD.  To be TOUGH.  To develop a thicker skin and learn NOT to cry when life hurts.  And life does, inevitably, hurt❎❎❎

The world will sharpen our edges.  It's certainly sharpened mine.  It used to be I was a people-pleaser, NO THANKS to my culture who, generally, hates confrontation and I watched that quality taken advantage of time and time again.  My lack of boundaries was [wrongly] seen as SOFTNESS so I got tougher.  I turned them into sharp edges.  I learned a bit back.  Our takeaway today?  Consider giving the BENEFIT OF DOUBT because that gives both parties the mutual upsides as to when to be SOFT or be HARD and STUBBORN❗❗❗

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES? All along, we are told that our EDGES in life will naturally sharpen as they get honed.  YES and NO indeed.    By the natural evolution of things, indeed we do get our EDGES sharpened but it could cut both ways.  I've known people with sharp EDGES but whose bluntness eventually losing its luster NOT by accident BUT because the incumbent DIDN'T leverage the EDGES of his sharpness💵💴💷

When we grow up, we began to discover our abilities, these things that we're capable of doing.  For example, we start to sharpening our skills to communicate, to draw, to write, and just a lot more of our interests.  In my own humble opinion, I believe the same thing happens in the professional area when we start to study at a university begin to acquire some skills, as time advances, we can improve them📗📙📘

Having said this, there is a notable difference between the skills that we improve because they are essential for daily life and those that we improve because we want to.  It is really important to recognize certain things, one of them is that as worker equipped with specific skills, there is enough room for us to improve on it and it's true it could be a little confusing to find on which to focus to continue working on them, for this, we must know ourselves and look for the aspects that we should improve📌📌📌

Word of caution.  If you are contemplating to be GOOD AT EVERYTHING, be cautioned as you might end up GOOD AT NOTHING.  That is NOT to cast aspersion on one's good faith and sincere intentions BUT I've personally known on first-hand basis more than a dozen people who had the BEST INTENTIONS but WHERE are they today?  Sad to say, they're somewhere rock bottom.  Really sad because I knew they had the BEST INTENTIONS❗❗❗

Any GUESS as to why even those with the BEST INTENTIONS ended up fumbling?  Simple.  They knew they had the EDGE, that capability but over time, through wear and tear, that EDGE does wear out, its bluntness losing out gradually.  Our takeaway today:  Your EDGE could be as sharp as ever today BUT you got to CONSISTENTLY sharpen it✅✅✅

What Can We Learn From FAILURE

What Can We Learn From FAILURE

WHAT word in the dictionary has been most associated with NEGATIVITY?  Yesirrrrrrs it is FAILURE.  Whenever we hear it, our mind, which has been conditioned is already sending some signals to our body that something NEGATIVE is coming up.  Through different networks, communications, advertisements or media, our minds get used to associating failure with a NEGATIVE experience.  BUT FAILURE ISN'T bad.  So, What Can We Learn From FAILURE❓❓❓

BUT the wisdom of learning from FAILURE is incontrovertible.  Yet, organizations that do it well are extraordinarily rare.  This gap is NOT due to a lack of commitment to learning.  And in the corporate environment, when a FAILURE hits their operations, tons and tons of man-efforts are spent as part of the post-mortem, never giving up in digging for the very RCA [root cause analysis].  BUT hey, many managers may be thinking of FAILURE the wrong way📗📙📘

To be frank, FAILURE is actually a necessary recipe in our life.  FAILURE gives us the answer we really need.  It gives us WHAT is wrong and WHAT is right.  Again, to forewarn everyone, FAILURE hurts and at times it can be that ruthless.  BUT it is pure.  It DOESN'T judge based on your physical looks.  Like nature, it is pure💎💎💎

NOT to piggy-back on this posterized quote from NBA great, MICHAEL JORDAN but looking back, I credit all my past failures for the successes I achieved.  I could NOT have done it any other way.  WITHOUT the past FAILURES I had to suffer the brunt, I would have NOT been able to help and touch lives.  WITHOUT FAILURES, I wouldn't be able to have the courage to pursue my goals and dreams.  I remember how ambitious my goals were✅✅✅

So, how do we manage FAILURES? Primero, ACCEPT whatever feelings and emotions you are now struggling with.  Remember that FAILURE does NOT mean that your life is going to be OVER.  And if you FAIL to learn from your FAILURES, that's a huge letdown as you'll be the sore loser for missing those LEARNED LESSONS❗❗❗

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION?

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION?

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION? I'm sorry BUT no one, not even in the Ivy League, were we ever taught INVERSION.  The fact is, typically, we think and solve problems in a forward-looking way, e.g. HOW do I have a good life?  HOW do I get out of debt?  HOW do I have a great marriage/relationship?  HOW do I get rich?  HOW do I get rich❔❔❔

Psychologists claim that it is NOT enough to think about difficult problems one way.  Which means we should look at and approach them both forwards and backwards.  Arising from their studies, they define INVERSION as the process of addressing problems BACKWARDS.  INVERSION helps us to uncover our HIDDEN BELIEFS about problems and allows us to avoid WHAT we ultimately DO NOT WANT.  It is much easier to avoid WHAT we DON'T want than to get WHAT we do want.  In the simplest words, FORWARD says 'HOW DO I GET X?' whereas BACKWARDS says 'HOW DO I NOT GET X'❓❓❓

Surprisingly, INVERSION was introduced long time back by Stoicism way back AD 63-65s by Augustus, the founder of the Roman Empire.  So, how do we use INVERSION?  The recommended simple 3-Step guide can be applied in different situations.  Firstly, DEFINE THE PROBLEM YOU WANT TO SOLVE.  Secondly, INVERT THE PROBLEM TO CLARIFY WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN and thirdly, AVOID WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN📌📌📌

In practical terms, let's look at small-scale investments we're considering.  A FORWARD approach is for us to ask HOW CAN I INVEST $10,000 and have a reasonable return of investment in one year.  By applying INVERSION, we'll ask ourselves, if I invest $10,000, how can I avoid NOT earning a reasonable return of investment from that money?  See the stark difference between FORWARD and INVERSION approaches❎❎❎

Now, walking the talk, allow me to share that I have been applying INVERSION in my life, at least for the past three decades.  By taking that pre-emptive step of figuring out pitfalls I can avoid up front, initially, INVERSION felt like unnatural as previous to INVERSION, I was used to confidently defending my own positions, NOT scrutinizing them from the other side.  BUT the more I explored it, the more I pushed myself to INVERT my thinking.  Let's walk the talk dude❗❗❗

Yes, You Can Take A Break BUT....

Yes, You Can Take A Break BUT....

We live in a cross-cultural environment [globally in fact] that values being BUSY, where HARD WORK means working long hours and working all the time.  How many times have you bumped someone on the street and you ask them HOW they're doing and they sigh and say, "OH BUSY".  So, indeed, being BUSY seems to be the NEW NORMAL.  And it seems that because of this, WHEN we're NOT busy, we feel like we're doing something wrong.  So, what's the antidote? You Can Take A Break BUT NOT FOR LONG.  Why do we caution you up front that your BREAK should be NOT FOR LONG?  Because I can attest I have witnessed many people I know first hand WHO went on a break that ended up as a sabbatical.  WHERE ARE THEY NOW???

BUT before you get so excited and start to arrange all your travel logistics, let's be proactive to ensure that your BREAK is NOT FOR LONG.  So HOW?  

CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN - This is NOT to say that you got to work 60 hours a week so you feel OK taking the next week off.  Instead, WHAT we meant is to do some planning so you feel more comfortable taking the time off.  Are there tasks you can delegate WHILE you're away so all that work ISN'T waiting for you WHEN you get back to your desk?  Can you enable your Outlook out-of-office?  Are there meetings or calls that can be rescheduled💥💥💥

It's true our brains love to feel being comfortable and in control.  A bit of prep work can help you feel a bit more confident that the world ISN'T going to end if you're away from your emails for a few days.  And moreover, it is imperative that at work, we should develop someone who will be our 2IC [2nd in command].  Preparing your 2IC to ensure his readiness will go a long way in keeping you calm and NOT apprehensive that in case you to take a leave off from work, there is a co-driver who will remain in the steering wheel, rather than grounding to a halt💧💧💧

GET YOUR BRAIN TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX - Remind yourself of the benefits of taking a break when guilt creeps back in. Culling from my past experiences, these are the 'low hanging fruits' I did reap through the years:

• My brain got the chance to REST/RECHARGE
• My body did rest as well and RE-ENERGIZED
• I became MORE creative if I'm NOT stressed
• My motivation had a 'shot in the arm'
• I was able to come up with trailblazing ideas
• Yes, I managed to achieve that work-life balance that was elusive for many years.  From that time on, I managed to give the quality time in my personal life, which for the longest time I was guilty of

Our takeaway:  DON'T take a break way far too long because:

1. You might lose the MOMENTUM
2. You will lose that enertia, for sure
3. You will lose the tempo that keeps you going
4. You may get misguided by spending more time for your REST [far way too long]

At the end of the day, WHILE we do deserve a BREAK from our frenetic pace in life, let us ensure that we get back and roll up our sleeves as soon as we got re-energized 😀😀😀

Bothered With OVER-THINKING?

Bothered With OVER-THINKING?

Bothered With OVER-THINKING? Or is OVER-THINKING not that bad, not worth our time today?  True, on the surface it seems there is NOTHING worrisome but hey dude, when we OVER-THINK, our judgments can get 'CLOUDY' and even your stress levels get elevated.  You end up spending too much time in the negative.  In the end, OVER-THINKING is difficult to act on💴💷💵

So, you might ask, can we avoid OVER-THINKING?  YES and NO.   YES if want to.  NO if we are NOT fully committed to a 'YES'.  So, where do we start?  That journey starts in our AWARENESS.  Unless we are AWARE, we can't even take the next first step.  In many cases, OVER-THINKING is caused by a single emotion spelled "F-E-A-R".  When you FOCUS on the negative things, it is quick and easy to become paralyzed📗📙📘

Next, let us DISTRACT ourselves into HAPPINESS.  Sometimes, it is helpful to have a way to DISTRACT yourself with happy, positive and healthy alternatives.  Things like mediation, exercise, learning a new instrument and other activities of interest can help DISTANCE you from issues enough to shut down that OVER-THINKING, OVER-ANALYSIS❎❎❎

As you start to get a direct handle of things, PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE.  It is always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be.  The next time you catch yourself MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years.  OR, for that matter, next month.  Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help SHUT DOWN OVER-THINKING.  And if there is something you must STOP PRONTO, STOP WAITING FOR PERFECTION❌❌❌

Waiting for PERFECTION is a 'big one'.  For all of us WHO are waiting for PERFECTION, we can stop waiting RIGHT NOW.  Being ambitious is great BUT aiming for PERFECTION is simply unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating.  The moment you start thinking 'THIS NEEDS TO BE PERFECT', that is the moment you need to remind yourself that you got to dump OVER-THINKING pronto☝☝☝

Which One Should Prevail: THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?

Which One Should Prevail:  THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?

Which One Should Prevail:  THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?  Before we deep-dive into THOUGHTS and FEELINGS, let's align here.  It is HOW we see something OR someone and WHAT we think about it OR them that really influences HOW we feel.  It is our THOUGHTS and BELIEFS about an event that significantly influences our emotions and actions.  WHAT is quite perplexing here is to understand the co-relationship between THOUGHTS and FEELINGS.  WHAT really makes us feel and respond the way we do, is often NOT the situation OR the words and actions of another person BUT how we perceive that situation OR that person's actions.  It is HOW we see something OR thoughts and beliefs about an event that significantly influences our EMOTIONS and ACTIONS💵💴💷

It is often difficult to know exactly WHAT we are feeling and sometimes it can also be difficult to put it into words.  Now, things will get trickier WHEN we consider those 'AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS'.  Just as we are NOT always conscious of the way we walk OR how we drive a car, we are often NOT aware of our THINKING.  Some of our THINKING becomes so habitual in the sense that it seems to become AUTOMATIC, and just like driving, WHEN things are AUTOMATIC, we might NOT be conscious of them✅✅✅

Sometimes, our THOUGHTS become much more complex because at times we will have CONFLICTING THOUGHTS and that exactly is the kind of internal battle within us.  Internal conflicts or CONFLICTING THOUGHTS are often the result of frustration towards something.  Because you CANNOT choose WHAT to do and WHAT NOT to do, we often end up having two options on that thing📗📙📘

Thing is, there are multiple situations in our lives WHEN we particularly feel torn apart within ourselves.  We then feel confused, unconfident, upset over HOW our brain and heart have been at war at each other.  It then becomes quite too overwhelming to be the TERRITORY over which these 'TWO RULERS' fight.  Sometimes our HEART wins, and sometimes our BRAIN prevails✅✅✅

And when we have conflicting THOUGHTS, sometimes the situation tears us apart more.  This explains WHY it is imperative to know about these internal conflicts and to recognize them so that you can make the right choices and make it out of this 'horrendous storm'.  Quickly, the common causes of CONFLICTING THOUGHTS are DISSATISFACTION, LACK of TOLERANCE, LOW SELF-ESTEEM.  Listen dude.  A lot of times we find ourselves amidst a tough competition between various parts of ourselves.  We got to make the JUDGMENT CALL, dude❗❗❗

Achieving Our Dreams

Achieving Our Dreams

You can be a DOER, an INNOVATOR, name it BUT..... from time to time, you fall short in Achieving Your Dreams.  Oh Oh, I can relate to that, that feeling of falling short to achieve our goal.  BUT hey, no matter how daunting your dreams look like, NOTHING is too big to achieve.  HOW?  Again, there is no hard and fast rule and proven formula but if you thread along these best practices, you are NOT far off that path towards your goal💵💴💷

Primero.  DREAM BIG.  Nothing is more stressful than that 'so, where do you see yourself in five years' conversation, especially if you AREN'T quite sure WHAT path you want to pursue.  Thinking about the future can be that intimidating BUT don't limit yourself to WHAT seems MOST practical or conventional.  You have so much potential and the possibilities for you are that ENDLESS.  Think outside of the box and create your FUTURE📗📙📘

Segundo. VISUALIZE YOUR GOALS.  True we should DREAM BIG but turning those dreams into reality is much harder if you DON'T have a clear picture of WHAT you want.  Consider having a VISION BOARD, any aid that will help you visualize your goals.  That should serve as your guide to your future and anytime you can tweak it to as nothing is cast in stone❎❎❎

Tercero.  Consider to TAKE BREAKS.  It's NOT as you wish BUT you really need to TAKE BREAKS.  There's just too much pressure in our DAILY GRINDS.  If someone says there is NO pressure in his/her daily life, I'd like to live that life but that's the reality though.  Taking a moment to pause is our BREAK and RESPITE✅✅✅

As motivational speakers say, if we want to achieve our dreams, we got to be that relentless about making them happen.  It takes a lot of FOCUS and DRIVE to achieve one's goals.  That's because our DREAMS are usually out of reach.  WHY else would it be a DREAM?  That's because it's NOT easy and there's a HIGH PRICE to pay for pursuing our dreams.  That explains why 'CRAZY, DRIVEN PEOPLE' more often end up SUCCESSFUL in their DREAMS❗❗❗

What Really Should Be Our FOCUS

What Really Should Be Our FOCUS

FOCUS seems like a boring topic, IS IT?  No sirrrrrs, I feel this deserves our space today.  So, What Really Should Be Our FOCUS?  Indeed, the power of FOCUS affects all aspects of our life.  We can FOCUS on goals at work, in our relationships, OR on our personal goals even inclusive of emotional health and even our fitness.  And YESSSSSSS, we can manifest those of goals into fruition💴💷💵

BUT our huge LIFE GOALS we have are made up of SMALLER wins, SMALLER accomplishments.  And learning how to FOCUS on the task at hand and complete each step toward living the LIFE we desire is the ONLY way to achieve greatness.  Most people are able to FOCUS at least some of the time, a fraction of the available time.  And if we're doing something we enjoy, OR exercising and moving our body, we're likely to get "IN THE ZONE".  BUT sometimes, we just CAN'T seem to figure out how to FOCUS📙📘📗

We're at work, and we know we need to get a task done BUT we tend to keep browsing.  We're in a meeting and find our mind wandering.  Maybe we're even with our family at the dinner table BUT don't know WHAT your 'significant other' just said.  Learning how to FOCUS better is vital to achieving our GOALS.  FOCUS makes our family and our partner/spouse feel important and valued [and it's the only way to get things done.  At work, the fact that we're an integral part of our organization, even if we're still in hybrid work-from-home, it behooves that we put on the FOCUS as consistent as ever✅✅✅

SO HOW?  GET INTO THE DRIVER'S SEAT [of your life] and buckle up].  As human beings, we like to be in CONTROL.  IF we're driving a motorcycle, we tend to be comfortable with the direction BUT the fact is, most people LIVE THEIR LIFE 'on the back of the motorcycle' and WHO'S driving the front of it is all the demands in their life.  So, ARE YOU LETTING THE DEMANDS IN YOUR LIFE DETERMINE YOUR LIFE'S DIRECTION?  Dude, it's time to ask WHY.  The key to concentration DOESN'T come from outside yourself❗❗❗

The most powerful factor in FOCUS is our own state.  If we're wondering how to FOCUS, the first step is to honestly evaluate your current state and learn WHAT DRIVES YOU.  Only then can you make the necessary changes to take charge of your life.  Another think to revisit is your pre-set standards.  Do you prefer doing a task for the sake of doing it?  Do you deliver an output for the sake of delivering it?  So WHAT's our take today?  Ask yourself, WHAT SHOULD BE MY FOCUS IN LIFE❓❓❓

Sure You Want To Be the Person You Want To Be?

Sure You Want To Be the Person You Want To Be?

We all have dreams.  You're in for a shocker with my confession.  When I was in my grade school, me and my first cousin would always talk about our future plans and NOT surprisingly, we both boasted to each other that we'll become a PRIEST who will build an airconditioned church.  BUT that was child talk.  Question is: Sure You Want To Be the Person You Want To Be❓❓❓

As I reached High School and setting my sights for the university level, this time around, it was quite believable to hear me blurting that I wanted to be a lawyer.  To cut the long story short, I did attend law school [but only for a year because, for practical terms, I veered away from my original FLIGHT PLAN and took a 90-degree turn to get into the information technology.  So, everyone's dreams of becoming the very best version of themselves, that's a given📗📙📘

You want to be a successful career professional.  You want to be a highly paid basketball player in the NBA league OR simply the best parent you can be.  Achieving your full POTENTIAL can seem like a tall order, a mighty task to undertake BUT it's possible once you release all the unhelpful traits that are holding you back.  Take a 'no holds barred' inventory of your INNER TRAITS to start moving towards being the person you want to be.  And DON'T miss out to recognize that you are already the person you want to be.  The secret to becoming all you want to be lies in remembering that YOU ALREADY ARE.  You already are the very BEST VERSION of yourself.  You just need to know how to be this person.  Everything you desire is already inside you and all of the resources you need to create it are inside of you📌📌📌

What we often miss out is the fact that more often than NOT, WHAT you are looking for is NOT out there in the world.  If your level of SELF-LOVE, confidence OR abundance is dependent on circumstances that are external to you, then you will live in constant fear of them being taken away.  True inner power comes from believing that the source of all that you desire to become is WITHIN YOU.  And as you trek your path, look for ROADBLOCKS❎❎❎

There's a very old quote which runs this way:  THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU BACK IS YOU.  This CAN'T be farther from the truth.  However, you must take stock of any attributes OR habits you have that do NOT reflect the person you want to be.  This may even require speaking to a few loved ones and asking them if they notice any unhelpful attributes that may be holding you back.  And from my travails, two common attributes that may be holding us back are:  SELF-DOUBT and PROCRASTINATION.  While the former is an attribute that can leave you immobile, never changing and never reaching your true potential, the latter is an undesirable trait that generally comes down to your SELF-TALK.  You tell yourself you work well under pressure, OR that the task WON'T take that long so you DON'T have to do it right now.  Sure You Want To Be the Person You Want To Be❔❔❔