What Stalls Us in Life

What Stalls Us in Life

We all love it, driving in the expressways, those interstate highways wherein if you get too locked in with the speed of your driving, you will slip past the interstate exits you need to get to.  But that's highway driving though.  In life, ours is not akin to driving in the freeways.  Instead, it is just not surprising at all when our journey in our life gets stalled.  The bigger question is What Stalls Us in Life

And this is NOT news anymore.  Pandemic does Stall our Life.  That's force majeure and let's not waste our time on that because health issues are quite a steep hurdle to overcome.  Instead, let us 'drill and dice' to figure out when are those times we get stalled and when we could have EKED out.

In Singapore where I resided for so many years, hardly one would exclaim that life there is stalled.  But rather, I'll qualify that maybe life seems stalled because there are rules to follow and comply with.  So, even when we take our meal at a typical hawker's center, if there's a queue, you can't jump over that queue.  You just got to 'TOE THE LINE'.

If we have a common enemy, everything traces back to failed relationships, regardless of the nature of such failed relationships.  And our 'CHINK in our ARMOUR' is that we tend to struggle in moving on from failed relationships.  And that's pitiful.

So what's our fix?  It's spelled M-O-V-I-N-G. Regardless of the impact of a cataclysmic failure in life, we CAN'T GET STUCK in the doldrums.  M-O-V-I-N-G forward is the order of the day regardless of the struggle in standing up after a HARD FALL Bottom-line is: never never let the clock keep ticking with you still down there in the pits.  Word of encouragement is this:  WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO GO BUT UP❗❗❗

When Things Are Beyond Your 'PAY GRADE'

 When Things Are Beyond Your 'PAY GRADE'

Oh this dilemma happens quite often in our life and the catch is that there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL because sometimes, it becomes a double-edged sword, like a damn-if-you-do and damn-if-you-DON'T-do thing When Things Are Beyond Your PAY GRADE  In real life, it is very situational.  Sometimes, if it's Beyond Your PAY GRADE, you got to pull the brakes for a full stop whereas sometimes, that Beyond Your PAY GRADE situation offers you that opportunity to be grabbed.

Now, things can become murkier because some scenarios are not as BLACK or WHITE as it should be.  Start off in the workplace where a certain approval needs to be secured before proceeding because the activity seems to have gone beyond scope.  That's when you scream, hey hey hey, sorry folks, we got to wait for the GO Signal from the boss because that's Beyond my PAY GRADE.  Turn things around, your colleague whose job role is unique from yours, calls sick for the day and there's a deliverable.  And it happens you're the backfill.  That's when you kick in and you can't take an exit and excuse yourself because it is Beyond Your PAY GRADE.

Diving into your relationship with your partner/spouse and you receive a request that is not part of the day to day needs, so it's more of a NICE TO HAVE stuff.  How will you handle it?  Will you blurt out that hey hey hey, that's Beyond my PAY GRADE?  Or will you bend and stoop down even if it Beyond your PAY GRADE?  Again, the answers to it are not cast in stone.  Take stock of things. What are the pluses and minuses if you GIVE IN or if you won't.  At the end of the day, it becomes your JUDGMENT CALL and the crux of the matter is that your JUDGMENT CALL has to be PERFECT and no less than that.

Challenge in life is that, much as you want to be fully mature enough to face the crazy world of life's rough and tumble game, there are times when you hit a wall and all that is expected from you is to pull the brakes because had you gone ahead with your own discretion, you can end up on the wrong side of things for usurpation of authority or power.  And when we swing back into your relationships with your BFFs, same algorithm applies.  Nothing is UNLI or INFINITY in nature within your friendships.  There remains concrete walls that CANNOT be breached, domains that CANNOT be transgressed or territories that CANNOT be compromised.  And that's when the intangibles creep in.  Talk about EGO and PRIDE, many relationships that were deems as 'solid rock' just so instantly crumble down, all because EGO and PRIDE got in the way.  Call it COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

Even if we swing back to our school days, the same RULES of ENGAGEMENT apply.  If at Day-1 you thought you're constantly protected with your Teflon-like reputation in school, you need to dig deep into the trenches for you to realize that regardless of your standing in society, you're just about to kickstart your long, arduous journey of travails and tribulations where you need to slog it out.  Regardless of how and where you stand in life today, never lose sight when things go beyond your PAY GRADE✅✅✅

Too Little Too Late

Too Little Too Late

How many times in our life did this happen wherein it became Too Little Too Late?  Like when you wanted to graduate with top honors but before you knew it, it was already the 4th quarter of the academic year?  Like when your relationship was going down and down and by the time you made a move, your partner walked away by then?  Or your business was sinking and by the time you want to revive it, your creditors have filed their legal remedies against your properties and business ?

Without generalizing things, what could be the most 'common culprit' for us to realize that indeed, by the time we make a move, it isToo Little Too Late?  It all boils down to TIME.  NOT because we didn't had time.  NOT because there were conflicting timelines.  NOT because we had zero options.  But likely it's because we all thought we had ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

Common culprits triggering Too Little Too Late end-games are WRONG information, WRONG facts, WRONG assumptions. WRONG historical basis.  And when you get it all WRONG, we know well the end result and your guess is as good as mine.  It all sums to GARBAGE-IN GARBAGE-OUT because in the very first place, our very raw data, raw information and raw assumptions were all wrong and incorrect.  But this is just one common cause of ending up in Too Little Too Late end games.

Conclusion:  Let's all get our FACTS right.  Unfortunately, NOT all facts are facts per se.  Because there are BAD data.  Because there are INVALID data.  In brief, you need to VALIDATE your data and information before coming up with strategies and plans based on the GIVENs + ASSUMPTIONS.  

If we're in a damn topsy-turvy world now, it is us to blame because these are the results of decisions and actions we have taken in our lifelong journey.  And what's regrettable is when in end games that result in a relationship breakup or in a business collapse, we still come up with the solution that comes in Too Little Too Late❗❗❗

When We're a SPECK OF SAND on the Beach

When We're a SPECK OF SAND on the Beach

Yesirrrrs we're a SPECK OF SAND on the beach, like it or not.  And that's just perfectly fine as we all came from dust anyway.  The $64 challenge we all face in life is how to eke out from all those sand dunes for us not to remain as just specks of sand across those coastal stretches.

Otherwise, we DON'T want to get washed out from the beach each time the waves come rushing because what does that leave of us by then?  In life, we DON'T want to be just another one in that mammoth crowd.  Why?  Because unless you get recognized, you'll end up bereft of even a "China man's" chance to etch your mark whether it be in your workplace, in your community or within your entrepreneurial initiatives.

Assuming we are akin to an islet, even that is not reassuring because islets can be engulfed and before you know, it becomes incognito after the waters eventually engulf it.  Imagine living a life where you're constantly falling aground and fighting off the waves and waters that threaten you towards obliteration.  So how do we handle things in life?  UPSIZE and UPGRADE your existence from simply being another SPECK OF SAND on the beach.   If you're in a new-found relationship, do you want your new partner to [wrongly] think that you're just another SPECK OF SAND?

In concrete terms, what else should we do so we DON'T end up just as another SPECK OF SAND?  First of, DO MORE THAN JUST BY SIMPLY SHOWING UP.  Don't be another DECOR on the WALL.  Ger RECOGNIZED.  How?  JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE.  Prove your mettle.  Be IMPACTFUL beyond what is enough.

If you're in the service industry, you just DON'T deliver the service.  Deliver beyond what is deliverable.  With your loved ones, DON'T just love them for what they're entitled but instead overwhelm them way beyond and above so we DON'T remain as a SPECK OF SAND on the beach❗❗❗

Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix

Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix

Happy and Restful Sunday.  Surely, at some point in our past, we all did get burned and turned into ashes [unless you're in your infancy born yesterday] so I guess we're safe on that. Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix then becomes the talking point because we got to look back how we handled it.

Be it during school days, be it in your past or even present relationships, be it in your work life or be it in your entrepreneurship, let's pause for now and find how did we Rise From the Ashes Like a Phoenix after all?  And surely, you can't believe how you did rise from the ashes.  And I'm cocksure, you're praying that that won't hit you again because even as we speak now, you really DON'T know HOW you managed to wiggle out and survived from that 'life threatening' debacle, figuratively speaking.  But if there is a commonality amongst us, it is RESILIENCE that pushes us damn hard to survive the worst of the worst times in our life.  

Yes, everyone of us are as fragile as feathers.  That's akin to saying that we could be working our ass damn hard in life but when something fatal hits us, we could be like fragile feathers and Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix becomes the same story endured and retold many times across us because that explains why we're still alive and kicking now.

For those in the brink of hitting rock bottom these, not to despair, Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix is not cloaked like a trade secret.  Instead, it all boils down to our RESILIENCE and [intestinal] FORTITUDE to 'weather all storms'.  How do have traits like those?  You got to 'HUNGER' for it, YEARN for it, wanting it, needing it badly in life.

As Carl Sagan, the noted American astronomer has been well quoted "STARS ARE LIKE PHOENIXES, RISING FROM THEIR OWN ASHES. Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix".  So why can't we be a celestial body like the stars?  BTW, why does the solar system never run out of stars?  Instead, the next NASA update we'll hear is that another star has been discovered.  Again, it's back to RESILILIENCE and FORTITUDE. If you DON'T have yet these traits, go and develop these as they are NOT innate or inborn.  It's never too late to keep reinventing yourself because that's life is all about.  You just CAN'T and SHOULDN'T live in a STATE of STUPOR.  Go Go Go and continue kicking the dusts in life❗❗❗

BETTER Than BEST

BETTER Than BEST

BETTER Than BEST?  Oh, am I opening Pandora's Box?  Probably because this could lead us to a loud [and maybe] a rowdy debate because surely this is very much debatable but certainly worth our time and worth a page for our blog today.  First off.  Who totally defers from the statement that indeed to be better is much BETTER Than BEST?  Now, let's put things in perspective.  The fastest runners run between 12-14 mph [19-23 kph] while the average bear runs between 30-40 mph [48-64 kph].  That means if a bear decides to give chase, even USAIN BOLT, the world record sprinter, could NOT outrun it.

Where does this contention lead us to?  Well, let's go back to that adage which this poster says that TO GET AWAY FROM A BEAR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THE FASTEST RUNNER IN THE WORLD.  YOU JUST NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE GUY BEHIND YOU.  Simply put, this reinforces our affirmation and assertion that indeed BETTER Than BEST really holds water.  So what's the GOOD NEWS for us all?  We DON'T need to be the best.  We just need to be better.  Moreover, to state 'BEST' is very relative.  In fact and in truth, it is an IMPOSSIBLE STANDARD that simply lacks credibility.  But instead, 'BETTER' is a realistic claim and a much easier comparison to make.  As simple as that.

Last month, I visited my optometrist whose clinic was the very first one I patronized many years back.  Despite that, she uttered that she was driven to offer better service than any of the competition and she wanted to 'OUTDO' her very own great service a year ago.  To her, this seemingly lower claim is actually much more realistic, much more believable and simply much more appealing to me as a customer.  The standard of 'BETTER' also keeps you on your toes.  Like being chased by a bear, you always have to be one step ahead NOT to get eaten.  Thinking you're better means you have to keep pushing, learning and improving because there is always room for improvement .  BTW, being the best offers only a SHORT-TERM advantage.

Listen, dude.  Once you are the BEST, there is no incentive to push you any harder and laziness or hubris start to set in.  And for all those BESTS out there who believe their incentive is to stay the BEST, they are fooling themselves.  WHY?  Just as there is much more of an incentive to lose few pounds than to stay the same weight, just as there is much more of an incentive to run your next race faster than to run it at the same pace, the INCENTIVE TO IMPROVE IS ALWAYS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE FALSE INCENTIVE TO STAY IN ONE PLACE, even if it's the best.

In the past, being GOOD was GOOD ENOUGH !@#$%?  Good grief.  That should be donkey years back.  As society evolved, being GOOD was not even GOOD ENOUGH.  So that's when the rowdy debate being BETTER and being BEST all started.  Having said a mouthful, this piece should put to rest the argument that being BETTER is much better than being BEST✅✅✅

Exploiting Little Edgers

 Exploiting Little Edgers

Humans are biased for anything that is something big, major and significant.  For slight and small opportunities, they are hardly recognized [or even acknowledged at the very least].  What tends to catch us are BIGtime opportunities alongside the magnitude of Lotto Millions.  And it's sad if we fail to be Exploiting Little Edgers.

Whereas, can we swing over to the mindsets and 'DISCIPLINE' of digital fraudsters. What these digital predators are very watchful start off from the slightest and most petty information that may lead towards exploring such opportunity and translating it into a concrete plan.  It could happen to a huge global organization having one single disgruntled employee who resigns.  And that ex-employee used to be part of IT Operations. Now, you can speculate from there onwards.

Now let's swing back to everything on a positive note.  Each time we wake up, we are watchful for opportunities no less. But here's the thing.  Let us NOT filter things out.  Let us NOT ignore those drips and drops of water from the faucet.  If at the workplace, your boss assigns you a task that is OUT of SCOPE, take a positive spin.  DON'T you think that that will 'add a feather to your cap' eventually?  

If in your relationship, your partner/spouse seems to be angling for something that is more of 'whims' than needs, ask yourself, how much will it cost you to give in, in terms of an act of goodwill done in good faith. Aren't those 'brownie points' up for your picking? 

Lesson here is that let us constantly keep a close watchful eye for those Little Edgers because who knows, that will be your 'takeoff point' when it does get translated into a concrete opportunity till it ends up with a WIN for you.  Can you continue to Exploit Little Edgers❗❗❗

Your PERSONAL BRANDING?

Your PERSONAL BRANDING?

Hey folks, how's Your PERSONAL BRANDING?  BTW, this is NOT to impose something much against your own will as I am NOT vested with such right.  But instead, this is NOT for us to do a spiel and hard sell for your buy-in.  Like it or not, even if you are aghast with PERSONAL BRANDING, by now you have your own PERSONAL BRANDING even if you are oblivious and totally unconscious about all these because THIS IS A GIVEN.

So, even much to your own protest, you might ask when did you ever have your very own PERSONAL BRANDING?  Hmmm, as early as you established your own identity even if you have not reached legal age yet.  Your character, your habits, your values, your personality and even all the chinks in your armor, all of these are inputs that built and shaped up your own PERSONAL BRANDING which unfortunately you may be unaware till now?

Now let's be brutally frank.  If you see yourself as a conscientious, responsible and well-grounded worker, does that comprise the very core of your PERSONAL BRANDING?  YESsirrrrrs if that's how you are perceived and a loud NO if that's NOT the perception about you.  See these circles.  PERSONAL BRANDING is NOT how you project yourself but instead, it is how you're seen and felt.

You might ask, is there an off-the-shelf DIY so you can put up the PERSONAL BRANDING you want?  Sorry folks, PERSONAL BRANDING is a confluence and combination of everything about you.  If at work, you're known for your eye for details, you will be branded as such and seen as such be it by your peers, your clients, your boss.  As a partner, if you are just a lousy, irresponsible and totally nonsense guy, even if you dump your partner RIGHT NOW, you CAN'T RUN AWAY from that 'notorious' PERSONAL BRANDING at all.

Build an aura of positivity and good vibes and people will be singing HOSANNAHs even behind your back.  BTW, your PERSONAL BRANDING will carry on to be your very YOU even if you get into a new relationship, even if you switch careers, even if you do a MAKE-OVER.  But for those in despair, everything is not lost if you want to overhaul and reinvent yourself to have that PERSONAL BRANDING you want✅✅✅

Act in a 'HEARTBEAT'

 Act in a 'HEARTBEAT'

How fast is a 'HEARTBEAT'?  Hmmm, it could be as slow as 'bradycardia' which is at 60 beats per minute or it could be as fast as 'tachycardia' which can be faster than 100 beats a minute.  Either way, it tells us that a heartbeat can be NO longer than one second, whew.

Ooops, let me clarify. Today's piece is NOT about medical or health aspects but instead we would want to magnify the fact that in every single decision in life, time is of the essence.  The impact and ramifications of the turnaround time cannot be understated because often, there are consequences where there is no UNDO.

Nothing wrong really in spending time to think thoroughly before reaching a decision point but our dilemma is that in the long run, we tend to get used to it.  We end up thinking that TIME is ON OUR SIDE? No sirrrrs, we can only buy so much time but we DON'T have the luxury to spend days when you can think about it in an hour at most or spending weeks and months when you can discuss a decision point with your spouse/partner, all within a day.

This is the 'undervalued value' of making decisions in a 'HEARTBEAT'.  Heartbeat decisions do NOT imply that you will end up with haste decisions.  On the other hand, any decision must be reached out in a painstaking thoroughness akin to combing things with a fine comb.  Many tend to gloss over that 'HEARTBEAT' value but let us not because that's a huge miss.

Yes folks, it is the 'TTD' [Time To Decide] that in truth and in fact pushes up the value of those life decisions.  The eye-opener are those decisions which we do make but still those decisions end up as moot and academic.  Why? Because it could be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.  Imagine if you and your partner were patching things up and for quite sometime, your partner was reaching out to you, swoon over heels while you put up with your ego till one day you finally thought the relationship is worth working up again.  Only to find out that your partner has FINALLY walked away from you, whew❗❗❗

Cut and Cut Clean

Cut and Cut Clean

Not to sound political but long time back, the then very revered and respected U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent his Special Envoy Paul Laxalt to confront an Asian strongman a.k.a. dictator and in no mean words, the Special Envoy passed this very blunt message from President Reagan to the Asian dictator to "Cut and Cut Clean".  The rest is all written in history but not to worry, I don't intend to veer away today's piece into politics as this is not the appropriate forum for 'geopolitiks'.

Instead, we'd like to amplify this generic message of being "MAN ENOUGH".  And BTW this is not just intended for the male gender.  Point is, as a person, if you want to articulate something, say it with BREVITY and DON'T dilly-dally and bit around the bush.  If you have a political stand, stand for your 'political color' and DON'T be a chameleon and spewing a mouthful.

Truth of the matter, in life, we should be 'MAN ENOUGH' for our own beliefs and conviction.  Just DON'T zig-zig, zag-zag and zigzag trying to project your intellectual prowess only to be a wimp, figuratively speaking.  Many relationships fatally end up not because of a major issue but instead because their relationship has become that convoluted.  

In fact, life is not a web of complexity. Life is as simple as CALLING A SPADE A SPADE. DON'T be verbose.  Say what you want but do and cut it straight to the point.  Why do many conflicts start as a friction and end up as huge conflagration comparable to the uncontrolled forest fires in the wilderness of Australia during scorching summer.

In the shortest words, say what you want.  Pour it out.  Say it out.  Save the KBytes of Meta/FB with all the 'verbose mannerisms' because at the end of the day, YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE❗❗❗