Why Less Chatter Helps

 Why Less Chatter Helps

Less Chatter, Anyone?  Surely I'll get bashed if I push hard for this because this is a debate that can open the floodgates of arguments back and forth.  To clarify, our thread today ISN'T pinning down on social media, not really.   BUT instead, it's all about WORKING SMARTER and yet being MORE PRODUCTIVE.  We'd like to challenge the age-old idea that MORE HOURS at work equates to being MORE PRODUCTIVE💴💷💵

Oh yes, through these years, all that's been splashed all over us are two parallel lines with almost identical trajectories telling us that the MORE you worked, the MORE productive you are.  Frankly, this is an assumption, a MISTAKE, that we've all been making for the longest time.  And now there's more than a century's worth of work that overwork in the long run is BAD for people and organizations, and worse, even BAD for productivity📗📘📙

The challenge for us workers is that we got so hog-tied to the misplaced belief that the MORE work we put in, the MORE productive we are.  BUT hey, various studies had the same results, that we DON'T have to spend the rest of our life feeling exhausted from work, waiting for the weekend, and barely making ends meet every month. Now do we know why 'MONDAY BLUES' was coined💎💎💎

Instead, there are now SMART choices we can make now to set ourselves up well.  BUT this means we have to do HARD things today, and that's exactly WHY not everyone is tapering off from their pace.  Thing is, most people have a very short time horizon.  And if you're willing to look farther, you will likely make better choices today.  Choices that will improve your life✅✅✅

So, WHY do other people stand out?  First, they AIM FOR THE BEST.  Let's realize that there is a huge divide between the top tier performers versus the AVERAGE.  We can even look at basketball.  Many play the game BUT how many end up with multi-million dollar contracts @NBA?  So, our takeaway today is that with LESS CHATTER, we can accomplish MORE with LESS time❗❗❗

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength

Negotiate From A Position Of Strength.  When hear that, often we'll shrug off our shoulders because we'll say, LET'S LEAVE THAT TO THE NEGOTIATORS.  BUT hey, that POSITION of STRENGTH is not the own turf of negotiators.  In our daily life, whether we interact in school, at home, at work or even in business and commercials, this very much applies as well💴💵💶

I remember when I left my native country to attend a week-long of interviews with several prospective employers in Singapore.  How did I handle things?  I made sure I played my best cards closest to my chest and that I made sure I was in control when the discussions will gradually veer into NEGOTIATIONS mode📙📗📘

When questions thrown to me on the table was zeroing-in on my salary expectations, I clearly laid down my POSITION of STRENGTH wherein in a frank but diplomatic manner, I bluntly admitted that while I'm angling for the job I'm applying for, it was NOT something I'll die for because, frankly, I had a secure job to go back then [in fact I was just on a week-long leave from work].  WHAT signals did I transmit?  It's that I like the job BUT I DIDN'T need the job💎💎💎

Going into a negotiation with someone WHO holds more power than you can be a daunting prospect.  WHETHER you are asking your boss for a new assignment OR attempting to land a major business deal with a client, your approach to the negotiation can dramatically affect your chances of SUCCESS✅✅✅

So, HOW can you make the best case for WHAT you want?  First off, dust off any rust within you as you do the reps.  Then, gather all your cards of Aces [as you need to play your cards pretty deftly and close enough to your chest].  When negotiation kickstarts, go for the 'jugular' as early as possible.  The longer it takes, your chances of pulling the rug will inversely diminish.  Do NEGOTIATE FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH❗❗❗

Why Complicate LIFE?

Why Complicate LIFE?

LIFE itself is already damn complicated BUT did we realize that from time to time. it is US who is guilty of worsening things? Why Complicate LIFE?  Well, we can say that life is a constant struggle NO matter how wealthy one is.  Suffering is the inevitable truth of life and we can only transcend this suffering by accepting it as an unremovable part of life.  It is perhaps the SIMPLICITY of LIFE which made it COMPLICATED in the first place💴💷💵

Guess we just COULDN'T comprehend HOW life came to be.  How did NOTHING become SOMETHING?  From the scale of the universe down to the scale of our lives, we always have been fascinated to know more.  It is within our nature to explore the UNKNOWN.  We spend so much time ripping this world apart in the search of answers to our old age questions.  BUT the more I think of it, the more I'm afraid I'll never be able to find the answers that countless others have sought📗📙📘

I couldn't help BUT think as well about the COMPLEXITY of everything we meet on a daily basis.  It's a similar feeling WHEN an event happens to you which feels too good to be true, right?  Then, we kind of stop and think: 'IS THIS REALLY IT?'  AREN'T there any secret catches to it that we're NOT aware of?  On one side, technology did help us BUT on the other side, it complicated our lives⌛⌛⌛

Thousands of smartphones to pick from, endless websites whose purpose are to attract your attention, business gurus and motivational speakers giving you the best ways to make a seven-figure income.  So, our challenge today really boils down to one thing and that's SIMPLIFYING our lives.  BUT living a simple life DOESN'T necessarily mean you're a minimalist who lives atop the mountains❓❓❓

To live a SIMPLE LIFE is to accept LIFE as it is.  LIFE simply exists and there is nothing more to figure out about it.  It's a step which can allow you to go from collecting experiences to actually LIVING THEM.  At times, we tend to overreact and complicate our own LIVES.  We got that tendency to complicate everything can rise from a fear that's deeply rooted in our minds.  Dude, LIFE IS SIMPLE.  YOU LIVE IT😃😃😃

Let's Be Like WATER

Let's Be Like WATER

I am not an avid follower of Chinese Culture but let's face it, there are numerous Chinese philosophers from whom we can pick up lessons in life.  Lao Tzu, a Chine Philosopher, is one WHO suggest that Let's Be Like WATER.  And to quote him: NOTHING UNDER HEAVEN IS AS YIELDING AS WATER.  AND YET IN ATTACKING THE HARD, THE UNYIELDING, NOTHING CAN SURPASS IT.  NOTHING CAN TAKE ITS PLACE.  THE WEAK OVERCOMES THE STRONG, THE SOFT SURPASSES THE HARD'💴💷💵

Indeed, WATER is one of the softest substances known to mankind, YET it can mold the landscape, pick up and toss about massive trees, and preserve life, helping plants grow and creatures survive harsh summers.  Indeed, WATER looks perfectly weak when it's calm BUT it is a force of nature.  Like WATER, we too, can be soft and still greatly impact the environment.  First, though, we must overcome the socially propelled notion that strength and softness are POLES APART📗📙📘

The late Bruce Lee, the Hong Kong-American martial artist and actor was very famously known to really admire WATER, and to quote him:  'EMPTY YOUR MIND, BE FORMLESS. SHAPELESS, LIKE WATER.  IF YOU PUT WATER INTO A CUP, IT BECOMES A CUP.  YOU PUT WATER INTO A BOTTLE, AND IT BECOMES A BOTTLE.  YOU PUT WATER IN THE TEAPOT, IT BECOMES A TEAPOT.  NOW, WATER CAN FLOW OR IT CAN CRASH.  BE WATER'.  And swinging back to himself and his life, Bruce Lee said 'IN ORDER TO CONTROL MYSELF, I MUST FIRST ACCEPT MYSELF BY GOING WITH AND NOT AGAINST MY NATURE'

Yip Man, the trainer and mentor of Bruce Lee, kept reminding him:  'LEARN THE ART OF DETACHMENT'.  As Bruce Lee was relentless to win at all costs but MASTER Yip saw potential problems in the horizon.  And if his student will continue on that same path, he knew it that things will NOT end well.  So, one phrase was a constant: 'STAY CALM, BRUCE'.  And after a certain training, MASTER Yip told Bruce Lee to go home and rest for a week✅✅✅

Then Bruce Lee tried meditating BUT it was to no avail.  His mind kept getting the better of him.  So he decided to go sailing on the water and while at sea, old memories kept flashing back in his head.  The teenager got extremely mad and clenched his fists and even punched the waters.  So, that became the turning point in his life and at that moment, he realized what MASTER Yip was trying to teach him.  While on the surface, the waters seem weak BUT in reality it was NOT.  Heard of shipwrecks which were caused by the harshness of the WATER?  That's our takeaway here.  WATER seems soft but it could even cut through even the hardest of surfaces.  So, like Bruce Lee, let us be like WATER, soft but hard and hardened enough if need be❗❗❗

Rising From The Worst Failures

Rising From The Worst Failures

One of the most widely circulated stories about FAILURE was that NBA 1997 Western Conference Semifinals wherein the late basketball great KOBE BRYANT shot four straight airballs, one with two seconds left in regulation time that could have won the game and three during overtime. In short, four BIG shots, four BIG airballs.  Rising From The Worst Failures💴💷💵

Oh, what that career-defining?  Absolutely YESSSS BUT not in the way you might think.  Kobe said: 'I SHOT FOUR AIRBALLS ON NATIONAL TV.  IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, THAT COST US THE SERIES'.  So, HOW did KOBE get past such a humbling moment?  To quote KOBE: 'YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION.  YOU HAVE TO GET OVER YOURSELF.  IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.  OK, YOU FEEL EMBARASSED BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT.  YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT HOW PEOPLE MAY PERCEIVE YOU.  IT'S EMBARASSING BECAUSE YOU SHOT FOUR AIRBALLS. GET OVER YOURSELF'📗📙📘

To summarize Kobe's sharing, he meant that he could really learn from all those debacles.  While it DIDN'T define WHO he was, it could inform his FUTURE, as long as he is willing to ADAPT & CHANGE.  That's the thing.  WHEN you do something poorly, do WHAT you can to get over yourself as quickly as possible by focusing NOT on WHAT but WHY.  WHY it happened.  WHAT you could have done differently💎💎💎

And another takeaway we can pick up from Kobe's sharing is that we should NOT be concerned if past failures cause you to doubt your future SUCCESS.  In short, we should see in SELF-DOUBT not as a sign that you should quit BUT as a sign THAT you need to adapt, innovate or optimize.  SELF-DOUBT indicates you need to figure out a way to keep going before those DOUBTS grow so large that will eventually push you to quit❎❎❎

IF you're still DOUBTING yourself, that means you're trying to accomplish something difficult.  WHEN you're trying to achieve BIG things, SELF-DOUBT is a natural part of the process.  So, get over yourself, figure out WHAT you'll do next time, and get to work.  That way, you will never have to be a prisoner of your PAST.  This is all about RISING FROM OUR WORST FAILURES❗❗❗

When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY

When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY

No sirrrrs, I'm NOT raising hell or Armageddon because most of the time, it's a fact that our life is dandy and shining.  BUT let's admit it, sometimes, When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY, those situations are WHAT we dread.  Those situations WHEN sometimes we felt something was MISSING?  LIKE there's a 'hole' inside you that CAN'T be filled NO matter how much you achieve or acquire?  Most of us experience this feeling from time to time, a sense that sometimes, life seems dull, flat, and devoid of meaning📗📙📘

Let's face it, we all want to live a life that feels fulfilling.  One WHERE we wake up feeling excited then later go to bed feeling content.  BUT for many people, daily life is far from that vision.  Instead, we tend to trudge through monotonous routines without a sense of passion OR purpose.  Activities that used to bring joy feel stale.  Relationships tend to lack depth OR intimacy💴💷💵

For those in that kind of dilemma, NO matter how much we attain, there seems to be an undeniable EMPTINESS gnawing from within.  Now, let's go beyond the surface and figure out the common reasons of those EMPTINESS.  Again, life feeling dull, flat, and empty is a common experience.  Though the specific causes vary for each person, there are some general themes that tend to emerge.  By understanding the potential ROOTS of EMPTINESS, we may fix this💎💎💎

Definitely, specific causes will vary from each person BUT there could be general themes that could emerge.  NOT HAVING A SENSE OF PURPOSE or MEANING is one.  And one of the biggest reasons life can start to feel empty is a lack of purpose OR meaning.  PURPOSE refers to having a sense of direction, vision, and meaning for one's life.  It's KNOWING not just WHAT you want to accomplish BUT also WHY those goals and dreams matter to you❗❗❗

Without a clear PURPOSE, we can end up feeling adrift and unsure of WHY we're doing WHAT we're doing.  Each day bleeds into another without anything larger to strive for.  Over time, even accomplishments ring hollow because we DON'T know what purpose they serve.  Another common root cause is DISCONNECTION FROM OTHERS.  As humans, we crave for CONNECTION BUT in today's rat race, it's easy to get isolated and lonely.  Lack of close bonds and intimacy in our relationships can leave our life feeling 'D-E-F' [DULL, EMPTY and FLAT]❎❎❎

Let's Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS

Let's Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS

What do we want in life?  Consistency.  Predictability.  Stability.  And our favorite, we DON'T want "UNPLEASANT SURPRISES" BUT we need to realize that our life is peppered with tons of CONTRADICTIONS [to our chagrin] the only antidote to it is for us to Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS and there's NO other way around it, dude💴💷💵

Pragmatically, though, the path to SUCCESS is filled with CONTRADICTIONS [much to our consternation].  And to arrive at your target destination faster, you must EMBRACE them.  These things seem like they DONT make sense BUT they do.  For example, WINNING BIG is about LETTING GO OF THE OUTCOME.  BUT commonsense will tell you otherwise, right?  So, if we want to be SUCCESSFUL, we got to be aware of the paradoxes that govern SUCCESS📗📙📘

Abiding by them is the defining factor in HOW things turn out for you WHILE ignoring them can cause unnecessary delays in your journey.  Let's take a sampling of LIFE'S CONTRADICTIONS.  Primero, BIG THINGS START SMALL.  You just CAN'T apply the 'BIG BANG' Theory in life, no way.  That giant AMAZON business of Jeff Bezos [whose net worth now is $163 billion, whew] started in the garage [of Jeff Bezos].  So with Apple, Dell, Google, and Walt Disney businesses💡💡💡

Comparisons CAN'T be farther than our very own selves.  How much did we weight at birth?  And, look at you now.  EVERYTHING THAT GROWS BIG STARTS SMALL.  If you have massive goals, great, that's an auspicious start for your life journey BUT again, temper your expectations that you will start SMALL, period.  And during your startup phase, you can fumble📌📌📌

To quote the great late Apple founder, Steve Jobs, 'THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD ARE THE ONES WHO DO'.  Very prophetic words but let's translate and dissect this one-liner into the simplest words we can understand and appreciate.  NOW, much as you want to achieve 100% SUCCESS, that WON'T happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.  Temper your goals by setting 1% as your improvement on a daily basis.  That should start you to embrace LIFE'S CONTRADICTIONS❗❗❗

It Takes Time

It Takes Time

WHO says anything and everything for our picking is right there for our picking?  NO sirrrrrs,  It Takes Time to achieve many things and goals we have set for ourself.  It Takes Time for us to land our 'dream job'.  It Takes Time for us to receive the sweet nodding YES of our 'dream girl'.  It Takes Time for us to be driving our very first brand new car [of course, except if you were born with a silver spoon on your mouth, then your limo OR Ferrari will be for your picking.  It Takes Time for us to be flying overseas for our very first holiday we richly deserve after working our ass damn hard💴💷💵

It Takes Time for you to get into your very first business or commercial foray.  It Takes Time for you to break some BAD HABITS that got embedded within you for so many donkey years.  All these we will hear from most people we know and yes, we can hear this in tons of online gurus focusing on self-improvement upskilling📗📙📘

Problem is, most of us tend to set standards for ourselves at the level of Alpha males, Sigma males.  We tend to blame ourselves if we fail to achieve our pre-set goals.  And many of us tend to reach such a HIGH standard without realizing that we were pursuing unrealistically HIGH goals without a FOUNDATION.  Dude, lest you forget: WE ALL NEED TO GRIND, WE ARE HERE TO WORK, WE ARE HERE TO HELP PEOPLE.  WE ARE LIVING TO BECOME BETTER💐💐💐

If we are 'DOWNGRADING', that means there is something wrong with us BUT that DOESN'T mean that you just randomly start working hard  on an overnight SUCCESS.  You might achieve those GOALS and get close to your GOALS even if you fail, which is GREAT!  So you might ask me. 'DO WE HAVE TO GRIND THAT MUCH'?  Answer is, it's neither YES nor NO.  We are here to work.  We are and we were NOT BUILT to stay in our beds 24 hours a day [NOT all people though].  Instead, we need to help other PEOPLE out there.  Sadly, tons of problems are going on and many of them need our HELP.  It depends on HOW you are right now.  If you're starting out, it may NOT be a good idea for you to just BURST all your energy on Day-1❗❗❗

To borrow that old cliche, ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY.  So, WHAT'S our takeaway today? We got to SET OUR EXPECTATIONS because many things may go awry simply because of misalignment of one's EXPECTATIONS versus the REALITIES in life.  BTW, even nature, even plants do bide their time, so we should NOT be an exception either.   If there is a huge gap between one's expectations and the realities in life, those disconnects can just widen the gap as time progresses and before we know it, EXPECTATIONS versus REALITY could be OCEANS APART.  Quo vadis, dude❓❓❓

Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time

Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time

In life, we sometimes, even unknowingly, spend our TIME & ENERGY on something that DOESN'T give much return or benefit to us.  And it's very exhausting and depleting if we are doing them for months and even donkey years.  That's WHY it's best to let go of things and behaviors that DON'T serve us.  In truth and in fact, realistically, Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time regardless if people are telling you that it's Worth Your Time💴💷💵

Culling from my past years, please allow me to share those things, situations and habits which I personally think are Things NOT worth my time:  Primero, I realized that being a PERFECTIONIST [which I really was, before] was one of my missteps.  Please DON'T get me wrong.  Striving to be perfect at something is NOT necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, it's a noble aim📗📙📘

However, the problem starts when you never finish your endeavor or project because you feel that it still needs 'something'.  This becomes even worse WHEN you are starting off doing something.  Been there.  Was once a perfectionist.  NOT after I fumbled and got frustrated when I realized that NOT everything is 'PERFECT'😅😅😅

Segundo, STOP DWELLING IN THE PAST.  Whether it's being nostalgic about past glory or being regretful about missed opportunities, there are NO benefits in LIVING IN THE PAST.  On top of that, constantly regretting your PAST brings nothing but anxiety, misery, sadness and frustration.  The worst thing is that when you are always LIVING IN THE PAST, you are unaware of the PRESENT, which then tends to also obscure the future❗❗❗

Tercero, DON'T HOLD GRUDGES.  Constant feeling of resentment towards some 'bad' people who did wrong to you, it gets you stuck in NEGATIVE emotions, preventing you from moving forward.  On top of that, you are giving permission to 'STAY IN YOUR HEAD', leading you to feel more resentful towards others.  Cuarto.  DON'T BE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.  To be with TOXIC people is never good, when you are in a relationship.  The only things you'll get out of those relationships are emotional exhaustion, constant arguments and worse, even traumas, leading you to accumulate your anxiety and worse, you'll get those lifelong regrets.  Some things AREN'T Worth Your Time ❎❎❎

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?  I doubt it, seriously.  Instinctively, we'd like to learn new things.  And if that outcome is achieved, surely, you get a rush of DOPAMINE, that reward chemical.  You will then feel good and you would have UPDATED YOUR BELIEFS.  Really?  That sounds like a stretch beyond learning.  It might suggest that your BELIEFS are either outdated, inaccurate OR even wrong.  If I told you that WHAT you believe about the world is WRONG, it's possible that you'd instinctively defend your position and aim to prove that it is me WHO is wrong📗📙📘

So, we're hitting the mother of IRONIES here and we'd claim that we like to LEARN but we DON'T want to CHANGE.  And to be specific, it seems we DON'T want to change our beliefs.  Researches show that SELF-BELIEF, or CONFIDENCE in our BELIEFS is corelated to low competence.  WHO would believe that?  Now, CONFIDENCE is something we all want✅✅✅

However, by being less CONFIDENT, we open up the possibility of learning and updating our beliefs.  On the other hand, WHO thinks it's good to be AVERAGE?  Somehow, having an AVERAGE level of competence OR being open to learning, results in an AVERAGE level of CONFIDENCE.  On that path to mastery, this is a BELIEF that will hold us to our humility and encourage us to keep learning.  Studies show that it's common to over-estimate our ability, knowledge and understanding of subjects.  This begets confidence and a belief that we know much of WHAT there is to know.  To quote Shakespeare, 'THE FOOL DOTH THINK HE IS WISE, BUT THE WISE MAN KNOWS HIMSELF TO BE A FOOL'.  After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS❓❓❓

These days when even the most non-techie end-user knows how to updates either IOS or Android OS, the question to us all is how often do we press 'REFRESH' or 'UPDATE' and perform CRITICAL UPDATES to our BELIEF systems?  OR are they deeply formed, rigorously tested and perfect to their design?  Truth is, far too many folks seem to base their IDENTITY and choices to their BELIEFS [a.k.a. OPINIONS] instead of their VALUES✅✅✅

Questioning WHAT we think we know OR WHAT we think we believe in OR even WHAT we believe to be true, all these are critical skills we got to equip ourselves.  So, before we get mixed up, it is imperative that we clearly differentiate BELIEFS versus VALUES.  While BELIEFS are derived from external sources, e.g. culture, family, religion, education etc, VALUES are core principles that guide our BEHAVIORS.  They tend to be more enduring and are generally tied to emotions and ethics.  VALUES can be influenced by beliefs BUT they are generally more about WHAT we deem important in life.  What's our takeaway today?  Beyond updating our BELIEFS, we need to reinforce our awareness of our VALUES as they are the very bedrock and foundations of our persona.  So, After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS❓❓❓