It's Hogwash To Say That The GRASS IS GREENER OVER THERE

It's Hogwash To Say That The GRASS IS GREENER OVER THERE

I stumbled across this sharing in Quora.com last August 31st wherein the person was claiming he was so DEPRESSED because he is still living in that  Southeast Asian country [apologies I am unable to identify that country].  He claims he's depressed because he's seeing many fellow citizens migrating.  Is it true that the GRASS IS GREENER AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE❓❓❓

So, that writer was implying that the GRASS was indeed GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE?  Someone retorted that the writer as to WHAT is/was causing his DEPRESSION.  And the respondent went on to share the fact that he has seen residents in the Third World who were living way below the poverty lines BUT looked happy WHEREAS, he has seen the reverse in the First World💎💎💎

Yesirrrrrs I can attest to that response because I was born in a Third World country and once in my life, I did live in a First World country [for about nine years].  I lived, breathed and ate on both worlds and that first person attestations CAN'T be farther from the truth.  Living and mixing it up with people who were living even below the poverty line.  And living with legit first world citizens BUT by and large, I saw them as an UNHAPPY lot✅✅✅

So, allow me to quote this captivating one-liner:  THE GRASS IS GREENER WHERE YOU WATER IT.  Exactly, you got to take care of the grass, water it, nurture it.  And that is where the parallelism with our life lies.  IF ONLY we dutifully take care of our life, IF ONLY we nurture and water it, then, it is NOT far fetch when one day, we will be singing Hossanahs to vouch that living our life now is the best💊💊💊

Now here's my sharing.  If I did venture over and lived in that First World country for nine years, it was because I firmly believed that the very 'high goal post' I set for myself can be best achieved in that First World country.  BUT once I did achieve my pre-set goals in that First World country, the next thing I did was to go to my native country's embassy to REACQUIRE my previous citizenship and [on the same breadth], renounce my citizenship ⏳⏳⏳

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?

Is Fatigue A Talking Point?  YES and NO.  It is NOT a TALKING POINT if you just went through you daily morning exercise and it is NOT a TALKING POINT if this is NOT the fifth time you're feeling it this week.  YES it is a TALKING POINT if you feel as though you're dragging through your days feeling weary, weak and listless, then YES, FATIGUE has arrived at your doorstep💊💊💊

BUT our challenge is to distinguish that fine line between being FATIGUED versus merely TIRED.  Generally, FATIGUE means NO amount of sleep helps you to feel refreshed.  It's akin to barely getting through the day without becoming that exhausted.  And while getting TIRED and FATIGUED does overlap, when everyday things like walking to the bathroom or doing the dishes wear you out, that's it📌📌📌

It is true you might chalk it up to getting older since FATIGUE is commonly viewed as a normal part of aging instead of a symptom of a possible underlying ailment BUT often, somethin' is amiss.  WHEN it lingers for weeks or months, FATIGUE is a problem that needs to be solved.  And there's a long list of conditions that lead to it💎💎💎

I am NO medical expert but my limited viewpoint as a layman points to a short list of causes.  What scares me is when FATIGUE creeps to become chronic, with those prolonged tiredness, fever and aches.  Being a layman, my recommended FIX is fairly logical and practical.  Go and seek medical consultation when things really turn 'DEEP SOUTH' because that trending should alarm anyone no less.  Take the simple things like you can't climb the stairs OR you're manifesting a shortness of breath OR if suddenly you're nodding off in the middle of the day [WHEN you never used to]. those are BIG warning signs that will only go BIGGER as you turn your attention the other side of it❗❗❗

Now, here's my add-on FIX which you may kindly consider.  WHEN you're TIRED,  the last thing you may feel like doing is exercising BUT that's exactly WHAT can help break that cycle of persistent FATIGUE to reboot your energy levels.  To quote a medical study i stumbled across, EXERCISE can beat FATIGUE because by increasing the blood flow to the muscles and organs, releasing FEEL-GOOD chemicals called ENDORPHINS.  So, it is due, FATIGUE is our talking point✅✅✅

BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships

BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships

Heard of Warren Buffett?  He is a 93 yr old American business magnate with his latest NET WORTH pegged at USD 120 Bn., whew but we won't meddle to deep-dive into his financial arsenal but instead piggy-back when he was quoted recently "I JUST SIT IN MY OFFICE AND READ ALL DAY'  but what was left unsaid is that what catapulted him to his financial chest is his dogged pursuit for BUILDING Knowledge + BUILDING Relationships throughout his lifetime📘📙📗

Without replicating OR cloning Warren Buffett [because that's next to impossible], what the close coterie of Warren Buffett all say in unison is that this ultra successful business magnate simply 'ATTACHED HIMSELF TO EVERYONE WHO COULD HELP HIM AND COATTAILED ANYONE HE COULD FIND AS SMART'.  In two words, Buffet shares his secret to his SUCCESS in two words💎💎💎

So the real OPEN SECRET to Buffet's SUCCESS has been KNOWLEDGE and RELATIONSHIPS.  Knowing WHOM to call and WHAT to ask.  Knowing WHOM he could help and WHO can help him led him to gain insights in his dogged pursuit for KNOWLEDGE.   And the most admirable trait here is that he NEVER waivered in his pursuit for KNOWLEDGE in his lifetime✅✅✅

There was this short study of two groups assigned with the topic "WHAT IS GLUTEN?'  One group was given internet access while the other group was NOT.  The end-result was shocking.  That 'GOOGLE GROUP' overrated their understanding and this was explained by experts that searching the internet for explanatory knowledge creates an illusion whereby people mistake ACCESS TO INFORMATION as KNOWLEDGE, what❓❓❓

And that's WHEN and WHERE relationship building comes in.  Having Buffett as our role model here, let us endeavor to 'ATTACH' ourselves to people WHO can help us which is as important to people WHO we can help.  So folks, nothing fancy here.  BUILDING KNOWLEDGE + RELATIONSHIP BUILDING are the cornerstones we need to put in place in life❗❗❗

Are You Being DRAGGED DOWN?

Are You Being DRAGGED DOWN?

Yesirrrrrs we are all aware of the LAW of GRAVITY and we can't defy it.  But that's NOT our thread for today.  Instead, we'd like to tackle whenever we go up against GRAVITY, Are You Being DRAGGED DOWN? Absolutely, various circumstances can really cause to get us DRAGGED DOWN.  And here's the challenge.  We need to figure out those DRAGGING us DOWN which we CAN control versus the uncontrollable ones.  And the damn GOOD NEWS to us all is that, YES WE CAN have countermeasures to 'nip in the bud' many factors that may seem to DRAG us DOWN in life⏳⏳⏳

BTW, can you guess WHO is the #1 culprit who can DRAG us DOWN over and over again?  You bet, that one DRAGGING us DOWN is our own self.  Does this sound familiar, when we get that habit of 'making excuses' because it is that kind of narrative that defines us.  If we create an empowering story about life, and what we will do with it, it will become our reality.  However, if we cannot change our own narrative, then a negative narrative consumes us, that will DRAG us DOWN 📌📌📌

If there is anything we got to realize, it is the fact that our negative stories will NEVER inspire us.  They DON'T help us to reach our potential or break through our fears.  Instead, they keep us SAFE but that seems NOT to be a GOOD SAFE because it seems a SAFE that is unsettling because we aren't living what we could otherwise live if we'd take risks.  In short, there is a long list of controllable  things DRAGGING us DOWN caused by us❗❗❗

 Now let's rattle off those that we instigate to DRAG us DOWN.  WHEN we say, OH I DONT HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS, SO I CAN'T EARN A DECENT INCOME or I'M TOO OLD TO START or I'M WORRIED EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AT ME or I'M TOO BUSY or I'M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME or IT'S TOO DIFFICULT or THEY MADE IT BECAUSE THEY'RE DIFFERENT and so on.....💊💊💊

So, can we be on the same page and agree that give up nursing hopes to turnaround people DRAGGING us DOWN because we have a long list of NO-NOs where we our own selves are the very culprit causing us to get DRAGGED DOWN.  If only we can rectify all the NO-NOs we ourselves are causing, then we would have won half the battle in our life✅✅✅

'FLASH IN A PAN', Anyone?

'FLASH IN A PAN', Anyone?

More for alignment, let's agree what 'FLASH IN A PAN' is.  Some believe that 'FLASH IN A PAN' did originate during the Gold Era when miners would pan for gold.  And many failing time and again all in hopes for that one-off, 'FLASH IN A PAN'.  In the film industry, it would refer to films that were either a success or marginally successful.  Either way, no one expects that film to hit the 'BOX OFFICE' level of expectations📌📌📌

Regardless of how the expression 'FLASH IN A PAN' came about, the underlying meanings symbolize similar transitions in which SUCCESS was sought and FAILURE occurred.  In real life, you can ask me if I've been a 'FLASH IN A PAN' [even once].  I'm sorry to disappoint anyone expecting me to give an affirmative reply because frankly, I've never been a 'FLASH IN A PAN' because to me, living life like a 'FLASH IN A PAN' borders on the absurd.  I would rather fail than pursue my life like a 'FLASH IN A PAN' 💎💎💎

So let's rattle off some behaviors and manifestations that are akin to 'FLASH IN A PAN'.  WHEN you extend a helping hand without being sincere.  WHEN you work for the sake of impressing your boss or your client.  WHEN you profess your love to a girl you're wooing EVEN IF you DON'T mean it.  WHEN you pursue your commercial/business initiatives, seemingly to enamor and lure your customers but with NO deep-seated customer-centricity.  Those are NO LESS akin to a 'FLASH IN A PAN' 📘📙📗

Even during those years when I was active in the job market out there, I readied up myself for grueling interviews but I can assure you that those efforts were NEVER a 'FLASH IN A PAN'.  In truth, if your specific performance or delivery is a 'FLASH IN A PAN', it becomes unlikely you can replicate it given a REPEAT of the situation❗❗❗

Even greeting your next-door neighbor come next morning should and need NOT be a 'FLASH IN A PAN'.  When we go on to live our life, what really matters is the aspects of genuineness and sincerity.  Take away those criteria, you're akin to a dead fish in a waterless aquarium.  With me now facing the mirror, I can claim with a clean slate that the first reason I'm still very much relevant is because in any endeavor I pursued, I ensured that every single effort was exerted with genuine sincerity.  Not to frighten the 'chameleon-like' creatures, 'FLASH IN A PAN' will NOT PAN out [no pun intended]✅✅✅

Just Stop OVER-THINKING, Period

Just Stop OVER-THINKING, Period

Anyone OVER-THINKING?   Yesirrrrrrrrrs, I 'WAS' guilty of it many times in the past.  BUT when I realized I was off-track then I thought I must Stop OVER-THINKING.  Unfortunately, this cruel world we live in, always taught us that BEING BUSY is like a BADGE OF HONOR.  It's just that so many of us define ourselves by WHAT we do.  So, we end up OVERDOING, OVERWORKING❗❗❗

BUT hey, we got zillion reasons why our BRAIN NEEDS A BREAK !  I remember in the past, once I got stuck doing a crossword puzzle, setting it aside and then later coming back to solve it after doing my chores.  BTW, that was NO accident.  It's just that our brains are LIKE sponges.  They can only SOAK up so much information before they get saturated, then drying a bit later💎💎💎

Hey, dude, our brain needs a rest now and then.  A little downtime is essential for our own health.  And studies have shown that taking BREAKS can improve our mood, boost our performance and increase our ability to put more impetus and focus on what we need to.  And when we DON'T give our mind a chance to PAUSE, it does NOT function efficiently📙📗📘

Heard of BURNOUT ?  Or CHRONIC STRESS ?  Those are just two most common manifestations arising from an overworked brain.  This reminds me of people I know up close.  Physically, they're as steady as you can see.  They're NOT even fidgety.  BUT for them to take the next move, they would spend time thinking, analyzing and over-thinking before deciding to rise up and prepare his coffee.  ISN'T that both unhealthy and unacceptable❓❓❓

Another fellow I know up close.  He's NOT your typical intellectual because he never ends up analyzing and analyzing things until he gets stuck in ANALYSIS PARALYSIS.  Before he takes the next step, his brain would seem to run through an iteration program that seems looping.  UNTIL he gets 'OVERTAKEN BY EVENTS'.  Pitifully today, it seems he has slackened in his OVER-THINKING because he's near destitute✅✅✅

How Powerful Is Your ATTITUDE?

How Powerful Is Your ATTITUDE?

In the donkey years I've interviewed job applicants, sometimes I get flustered when someone will confront me this question:  ARE YOU LOOKING FOR APTITUDE? Or ATTITUDE?  Over time, I never waivered with my response without batting an eyelash, repeatedly declaring that those are my two candidate options, I'll pick ATTITUDE over APTITUDE.  Few times I got challenged with this statement: ARE YOU SURE?  WILL YOU HIRE SOMEONE ONLY TO TRAIN HIM IF HE HAS A SHORTFALL IN HIS APTITUDE?  Without hesitation, i would always retort:  ABSOLUTELY BY ALL MEANS.   So, I hope this is NOT something we got to debate on for today but instead, let's spend time to figure out How Powerful Is Your ATTITUDE❓❓❓

Indeed, many people are trapped in NEGATIVE THINKING that leads to FEAR, FAILURE and even UNHAPPINESS.  Though they may long for greater achievements, better relationships and happier lives, they are mired in a spiral of NEGATIVE THINKING, complaining, whining and sadly, many would give up even wishing for change and settle for a boring and unfulfilling life📌📌📌

Now, frankly speaking, if that is YOU, it does NOT have to be that way.  That NOT so secret recipe for a happier and successful life is NOT to change your circumstances [because you often CAN'T] or to control what others do [because you NEVER can].  Instead, it is to CHANGE the one thing which you have absolute authority and that is spelled A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E📙📘📗

Now, it's been proven over and over again that people with a POSITIVE outlook are happier and more successful and ultimately, have greater career satisfaction, which adds up to one's life 'HAPPINESS METER'.  The reason for his is fairly simple.  Our ATTITUDE has that incredible power to shape our own life.  On the other hand, NEGATIVE THINKERS see NEGATIVITY, think NEGATIVE thoughts and develop NEGATIVE habits, ouch❗❗❗

This is NOT my bragging rights but looking back, if I had entertain any NEGATIVITY in my life, I would NOT be what I am.  Ooops obviously, I never reached the pinnacle of corporate success, e.g. to be a CEO [but frankly, both my feet are firmly on the ground and as we speak now, I can cockily admit that the power of ATTITUDE is the #1 factor that pushed my trajectory this far, this high.  That should explain as to HOW POWERFUL our ATTITUDE is✅✅✅

When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY

When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY!

Ever been in TOPSY-TURVY land?  Yes, been there, done that [and I ain't go back there if I could control it].  WHY?  Because, When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY, we can peruse everywhere to find a FIX but it will be akin to finding for a NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.  What that means, the probability of finding that FIX is very low if not NIL.  But the question is, do we just raise the white flag When Everything Turns TOPSY-TURVY❓❓❓

Imagine IF/WHEN our home is a total mess, but NOT even half as messy as your life.  Then your partner/spouse ISN'T even talking to you then at the workplace, your work life seems OUT OF CONTROL and then you feel like something is missing💎💎💎

Oh oh oh, we all go through a point in our life when everything are just totally OUT OF CONTROL and the worst thing is that once you reach that point, it will be very extremely hard to know and even decide WHERE to start.  And there's both a GOOD and BAD news.  For the BAD news, things will be damn hard.  And now for the GOOD news.  Things will only get better💊💊💊

So what are our FIXES?  First off, whatever FIX we have, there is NO and there will be NO quick FIXES.  But as a first step, recognize the mess you are in.  It's easy to say that you have to take back CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE but HOW exactly will you gonna pursue that?  And if there is one right answer, most people WON'T deal with this problem for more than a minute.  Truth is, there is NONE.  So, foremost of all, recognize the problem at hand📌📌📌

As a follow-through, figure out what's OUT OF CONTROL and LET GO of it.  At that point, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren't going the way they are supposed to.  It can be the small things like a messy kitchen and the big things like personal relationships NOT working out OR the unpaid bills are just overflowing.  With this total mess, write down each problem and identify those that are way beyond your CONTROL and just pull a stop, dump it out the window because what matters most  unshackle the mess you have WHEN EVERYTHING TURNS TOPSY-TURVY ✅✅✅

Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS

Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS

FEAR itself I admit I'm afraid to manifest it.  Top it up with SADNESS, then Handling A 'Double Whammy' in FEAR + SADNESS will be seriously in question as far as I'm concerned.  But I learned [NOT so early] in life that indeed it is impossible to think clearly once we are overwhelmed with FEAR.  And that time, my high school teacher did teach us a practical way, that is, try taking TIME OFF for us to physically calm down.  It could even be as simple as distracting yourself from that FEAR for 15 minutes by walking within your perimeter area, preparing coffee or even taking a quick shower📗📘📙

Sometimes when getting into 'panic' mode becomes inevitable, BREATHE THROUGH IT, so to speak.  Let's take a real-life example when you start to get a faster heartbeat or your palms are sweating profusely [way beyond what is normal].  And if you are in the middle of a conflict, will you TAKE THE PLUNGE?  No sirrrrrs, DON'T get embroiled into a fight at that very moment.  Yes, you can feel that 'panic' mode which, to borrow the psychology jargon, it TAKES THE FEAR of FEAR away💊💊💊

Simply put, our practical approach is to help our mind get used to coping with PANIC.  On the other hand, experts have screamed in unison NOT  to avoid FEARS because avoiding FEARS only makes them scarier.  Whatever our FEAR is, once we face it, in a natural kind of evolution, it should start to fade [until you would realize that it seemed to have DISSIPATED IN THIN AIR.  An example is that FEAR of taking the elevator [or lift].  Come next day, do take that elevator [or lift] again.  Trust me, that previous FEAR which seemed like a hard rock, would gradually [or sometimes] so swiftly evaporate with little effort you are unconscious to have to have exerted any, if at all✅✅✅

How about painting 'worst case scenarios'?  In the past, there was an endlessly raging debate whether that should be a DO or a DON'T.  In the end, studies have proven that by imagining the worst case scenarios, while it may NOT be possible or just plausible, by painting the 'worst case scenarios', we will realize that eventually FEAR will 'run away'.  WHY?  And HOW?  The curt answer is thar facing things head-on is the best antidote💎💎💎

And how's the equation when SADNESS creeps in?  That should NOT be a concern because, just like typhoons and cyclones, SADNESS too shall pass.  Obviously, one will go through those phases of SADNESS but that too shall pass.  When it's way past behind us and we manage to handle FEAR [instead of FEAR taking over our life], pat yourself because you're on the precipice of handling a 'DOUBLE WAMMY' when FEAR + SADNESS ❗❗❗

STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control

STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control

Worrying stems from our common desire to be in CONTROL.  And we often want to CONTROL our environment within us.  OR we may want to CONTROL over the outcome of practically every situation [which is downright wishful thinking].  And the more we try to CONTROL everything around us, the more anxious we become.  Can we just STOP Worrying On Things We CAN'T Control❓❓❓

Imagine when we are trapped in that VICIOUS CYCLE to break, WORRY [to gain CONTROL], then we FAIL, then we WORRY [again].  Then the whole cycle repeats itself.  Indeed, worrying on things we CAN'T control [like someone's behavior] will drain us of that mental strength where we need to be at our best.  Sadly, this dilemma may also lead to other toxic habits [like ending up to be blaming our own self too much [or worse, even micromanaging other people]].  But we are still fortunate because we DON'T have to resign to end up as a lifelong 'worrywart' ❗❗❗

While there are many self-proclaimed experts more than willing to help extricate us from that VICIOUS CYCLE, I stumbled across two tricks [which we all need to patiently learn and develop].  First off, let's DEVELOP A REALISTIC SENSE of CONTROL.  Let us identify WHAT IS WITHIN OUR CONTROL and WHAT ISN'T.  A simple case is you can CONTROL how eye-catching the webpage you will develop but you can't CONTROL whether people will ever visit your webpage and if they, will they positively rave with regard your webpage.  If you're a manager, you can give your team members the productivity tools BUT you can't force them to be productive❎❎❎

If we are able to strike a healthy balance of CONTROL, we should realize that we can choose our own attitude and even our behavior BUT [again], we CAN'T CONTROL numerous external factors.  So, when we're faced with a problem or experiencing discomfort, let's ask ourselves, "IS THIS A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE?  OR DO I NEED TO CHANGE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS PROBLEM"?  If it is within our CONTROL, go and tackle the problem.  BUT if it's out of our CONTROL,   let us focus on changing our emotional state.  Let's adopt healthy coping skills, like engaging in a hobby or probably practicing meditation📌📌📌

Now, for our REALITY CHECK, let us 'schedule' a time to worry.  WHY?  It's because even experts will admit there isn't a magic trick or a special pill that will make you stop worrying right away.  Psychologists, however, are egging us for that psychological trick and that trick involves SCHEDULING a time to worry.  Sounds ridiculous but studies back up its feasibility.  Let's apportion that 'DOWNTIME' to worry on 'LEGIT' ones because we got to STOP WORRYING ON THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL💎💎💎