Working Long Hours?

 Working Long Hours?

Working Long Hours?  Before I get [wrongly] bashed for inciting things in the wrong direction in the workplace, this is NOT the intention of today's piece.  Rather, we want to figure out HOW you can still achieve the same results and deliverables without sacrificing your health, your sleep and seriously, sometimes, even relationships and the immediate family gets impacted too.

But all over, we all know that SLEEP helps us to learn faster and even improve our memory.  Digging back a 2016 study titled Psychological Science, it says that people who studied before bed, then slept then did a quick review the next morning NOT only spent less time studying but they also increased their long-term retention by approximately 50%. But there's an arguably even better reason to get a good night's sleep especially in today's RAT RACE.

The old school of thought did teach us that practice makes perfect.  And repeating the same tasks will lead you to be an expert.  Agreed on most points.  But going back to the long hours we toil, what's or who's the culprit?  Then this brings us back full circle to the dilemma of people who are sleep-deprived.  And the results of studies are alarming.  Because you could end up with worse ideas.  Because you end up worse to distinguish good versus bad ideas.  And worst, you may tend to be impulsive.

Are we to seek refuge on all the STICKY NOTES plastered all around our devices? Indeed it is a scary scenario when we are sleep-deprived because the CREATIVITY part in us gets lost out in the equation.  That means, while some people could be a little more creative than you, a rested and recharged YOU is a whole lot more creative than a sleep-deprived YOU. 

Creativity aside, getting enough sleep also makes you more productive.  Studies have shown that people who sleep for five to six hours are 19 percent LESS productive than people who regularly sleep for seven to eight hours night-on-night.  Those hard core 'sleep warriors' who get less than five hours a night MAYBE BUSY DOING LESS.  Won't you now dread Working Long Hours✅✅✅

Put Up With It

 Put Up With It

Oh, have you ever in that situation aboard your flight and here you are, fastened with your seatbelt but so squeezed by that passenger next to you?  Is that a problem?  Of course NOT.  But for that triviality, how would you handle that?  Simple. PUT UP WITH IT?.  Eventually when that airplane you're onboard finally lands, you can finally heave a deep sigh of relief.  But we won't waste our time on that.

This example may be more interesting though.  For us who have committed to our partners/spouses, definitely that 'compatibility thing is nothing more than BALONEY.  No such thing as a perfect couple.  You could be a gadget warrior but your spouse prefers to finish up at least two full movies in NETFLIX.  Or you prefer to spend the upcoming weekend in a restful way but your better-half prefers to go out of town, for some whiff of fresh air.  But how often do you need to  PUT UP WITH IT?  How often do you need to re-adjust and recalibrate?

Or you could be staying in a place where you DON'T have control of the occupants, people you DON'T know even from Adam and Eve. But do you know there are more sensible things to PUT UP WITH IT? Just as when you're enduring GRIEF and yet you can't figure out how it can CO-EXIST with JOY?  BTW, positive and negative emotions DON'T cancel each other out and you DON'T have to be done with pain to make peace for joy.

In fact, life's HARDEST MOMENTS can bring moments of such overwhelming pain that it may become hard to imagine feeling okay again.  Yet, a few hours later, you may find yourself laughing or perhaps even while tears stream down your face.  When and where HEALING is needed, it happens when we're realistic about how long our struggles may take.  

So how?  First off, give yourself PERMISSION to feel joy.  During HARD TIMES, we may turn away from moments of JOY.  You might notice yourself doing it that way because FEELING HAPPY makes you feel bad about 'moving on' from something or someone important.  OR you may be FEELING GOOD while others are still struggling and that may you feel guilty. These types of thoughts and feelings are indeed common but not especially fair, right?  Having MOMENTS of JOY doesn't invalidate the depth of your pain or mean you less care less. Thing is, many things in life are there for us to accept and PUT UP WITH IT📗📘📙

Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?

Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?

Have you ever contemplated if it's about Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?  Probably not.  But if you have been through more DOWNs than UPs, when you are more frequent going down south deeper and deeper rather than going north, when you seem to have aged twice your chronological age or when all the struggles you have been enduring in your life [till to date] is taking its toll on you, your health, your family, your relationship or a combination of it, likely you need to seriously consider Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life

When struggles come, they hardly become a surprise anymore right?  Or have you been conditioned to believe that life is a struggle?  If you think it is, then this is what will unfold and if you DON'T, it WON'T.  But is it that simple?  Oh, we gotta believe that our life is the sum total of all our thoughts and beliefs about life.  If we were taught that life will be a struggle, every experience will be framed within that.

One prevalent misconception we often hear is that most sruggles are $$$$$$$ related.  True, financial problems will create other  new problems as a domino effect.  But in essence, most of our struggles in life are way beyond $$$$$$$.  And when sort of bad things happen, we can pre-empt such negative occurrences, expecting them to occur anytime you start thinking of it.

Sometimes [and probably many times], we tend to seek refuge in that cup of coffee especiallu when anxiety and stress creeps in.  Oh, have we heard "IT'S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD" ?  Or getting NOTHING for NOTHING?  Those do suggest an attitude of negativity and many of us DON'T realize how much that constant thinking will affect our quality of life.  When we struggle against the natural rhythms of life, we create that resistance that leads to STRUGGLE.

With struggle, there is NO joy and rarely any reward, if at all.  In fact, for some people STRUGGLE is a reward, whew!  They are a little lost without it.  And there seems comfort in what you know.  They end up struggling in life, sacrificing their own needs and ending up knocking off the day in bed with nothing but that feeling of exhaustion.  Then you end up justifying yourself by saying "THAT'S LIFE".  Really?  Now if you believe that life is meant to be a struggle, ask yourself how that belief helps you.  Does that make you happier?  I really seriously doubt it.  As this poster says, " DIFFICULT ROADS LEAD TO BEAUTIFUL DESTINATIONS".  Oh, it's Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life❗❗❗

Mind Over Matter

 Mind Over Matter

Numerous studies have shown that we humans are an easily distracted species.  If I can't convince you right now, look around you, those folks holding on to their respective smart phones RIGHT NOW.  The irony here is that admittedly, we always longed for ways to really regulate our very own attention.  Mind Over Matter, that's the long and short of it.  I'd like to quote an extract from the Hindu Book which states our mind is "AS DIFFICULT TO CONTROL AS THE WIND".  I'd like to quote Michael Posner, a Fellow from the University of Oregon whose studies have shown that it's never a lost cause for us.  There are just two ways to train the mind.

According to Posner, his studies have validated that indeed people can learn to control their minds through practice.  There just seems a variety of ways to do such improvement.  'Mindfulness Meditation' was even introduced in some studies which proved that a month of meditation has altered the brain structure.  Along the lines of psychological studies, Posner recruited a group of smokers and non-smokers, randomly assigning some of them with tasks to make them more relaxed.  After two weeks, that 'relaxation' group showed a significant reduction in cigarette consumption.  This is Mind Over Matter no less.

That 'carrot and stick'?  That works.  It's not just another colloquialism.  Instead, those carrot things, those stick things, they really work.  But here's the not-so-secret formula.  There has to be CONSISTENCY no less because that is key for the Mind to prevail Over Matter

What amazed psychologists like Posner is that when there is a significant change in a person's behavior, that very person does not even realize that.  Why?  It's because the changes in their brain had given them more SELF-CONTROL without them realizing they were smoking less despite the fact that some of the reduction levels approached those of a quitter [in smoking]. This is another proof that indeed Mind prevails Over Matter.

Even that word I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E can be disproven and broken up.  Unfortunately, in life, our mindset stores a lot of IMPOSSIBLE stuff, leaving very little room for those that are POSSIBLE.  So, what pushes us to hurdle whatever is IMPOSSIBLE  All it takes is to recontrol those things n life that may be going way out of your control.  RECONTROLLING things is a must way before you think that Mind does prevail Over Matter📗📘📙

Climbing Back In Life Is Most Important Than Anything Else

Climbing Back In Life Is Most Important

More than anything else, Climbing Back In Life is easily the most important NEXT STEP we need to take in life.  For multifarious reasons.  Firstly, your life is at stake.  Secondly, your fate is probably at the precipice of hitting a wall where you seem incapacitated to recover and restart things all over again.  Once you let this chance pass by you, it ain't knocking on your door AGAIN

Without veering into religion, one of the key teachings in Buddhism is that in life, there is always SUFFERING.  That life is impermanent and fragile.  Nothing will realy last.  Eventually, we will 'LOSE IT ALL'.  We care about and grasp unto much of what will ultimately change.  And in addition, life is just peppered with injury, sickness, losing loved ones and even death [sadly].  Now, what we're pitching is climbing back in life.

Climbing back in life is no 'cake walk'.  In fact more often, we will endure more of anguish and sufferings way long before we eventually turn things around.  Akin to the challenging climbing of steep mountain slopes, sometimes we will tend to hit successes that seem more of a respite in a 'pit stop' rather than being a milestone success.  And eventually, that progress may plateau and that will just make us more frustrated.

And those 'down' experiences will surely cause excessive emotions and frustrations, perhaps you end up too attached to how you currently feel and are performing.  And this does tie your happiness to variables you CAN'T control

At the end of the day, let us not loose of the fact that we just CAN'T turn things around just by and just on our own.  That's when you gotta remembering 'CALLING A FRIEND' because IT IS WHAT IT IS.  You got to leverage on that HELPLINE especially when you're running out [and probably, you ran out] of cards.  What is imperative is never lose sight that CLIMBING BACK IN LIFE is most important more than anything else💊💊💊

The Devil Is In The Details

The Devil Is In The Details

We have heard this zillion times, that indeed The Devil Is In The Details.  But who cares? Who takes that adage seriously.  Most of us [including myself in the past] would think that this is nothing more than just another adage we can spew out.  Seriously, there is a huge reservoir of insights we can pluck out from this adage because this just cuts through our life.

Many of us [wrongly] thought that when we hear "The Devil Is In The Details", it's about those contracts and documents [which seems boring to many of us].  But did we realize that when we do hear The Devil Is In The Details, what this means is that many things that are relevant enough in life are details which are not visible enough on the surface.  Often times, the details are scattered all over the surface but it does NOT get our attention [spelled A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-I-O-N].

So, what explains why do we end up missing [not MESSING] up the relevant details?  It is because it is human nature that we end u seeing what we want to see and hear what we want to hear but NOT those we neither want to see or hear].  Let's get into our relationship with our partner/spouse.  Sometimes, let's admit that we tend to 'SHUT OFF' our eardrums for things we refuse to hear.  So, its NOT a surprise if we end up missing those relevant Details. 

So, what happens when we end up missing the details in life?  We could miss things BIG TIME.  While we keep hearing that we should have that 'HELICOPTER VIEW', unless you deep-dive into the details, it is very likely you will miss the biggest chunk of it all, that's for sure.

We have heard students ending up with miserable academic results because they missed out the relevant details.  We have heard workers getting axed because they either missed on their deliverables or they breached SLA's.  Or probably one's relationship with his partner/spouse hardly recovered back to stabilize because we missed out understanding the details that caused your partner/spouse to feel that bad.  This is really all about the devil may be in the details📌📌📌

Remember the 'RESET' Button?

Remember the 'RESET' Button?

Oh, this is one of the most popular fixes across the world.  When your mobile phone hangs up and quite irrecoverable, you would then invoke the 'FACTORY RESET' option.  When your laptop's issues become chronic, you would invoke your laptop vendor's RESET options.  But how often did we realize that hen we are beset with various problems in life, when all is a lost cause', Remember that 'RESET' Button?

But alas, all along we have been so familar with that RESET button for all the issues we have been facing with regard all our gadgets.  But we missed BIG TIME factoring-in that 'RESET' button in our lives.  When someone was enduring various medical symptoms, all pointing to various underlying illnesses, did he ever consider the 'RESET'  button?  When you were still in school and kinda struggling with your academic performance, did you ever consider that 'RESET'  button?

And at the workplace, when you hit rough patches at the workplace, even after you flopped at your work left and right till H.R. slaps you with a final 'SHAPE UP' notice, did you ever consider that  'RESET'  button? And let's swing back to the many monents in our life when our emotions lorded it over us, causing us to lose that capability to think things thoroughly, sanely did you ever consider that 'RESET'  button?

Oh, i liked this poster saying it all.  Yesirrrrrs, let us NOT miss out to TRY, i.e. TIME TO REINVENT YOURSELF and that's no less than  invoking and pressing that 'RESET'  button.  Why do we have numerous and repetitive 'misses' in life?  More often than not, we failed to realize and recognize the fact that most of our problems can have increased chances of being resolved with a 'RESET'  button.

We may not shielded with failures but we are NOT totally helpless.  Our relationship with our spouse/partner may have seen its better days but you will always have that china man's chance of turning things around with that 'RESET'  button.  Inject PRIDE.  Add-in your bloated EGO.  Voila, you have the recipe to FAIL, that formula to FLOP.  All because you have looked farther down the road instead of facing the mirror and realizing that that 'RESET'  button is your very 'ace up in your sleeves'.  Nothing is lost dude📌📌📌

Never Start What You Can't Finish

Never Start What You Can't Finish

Historians documented that Charles Darwin spent 22 years travelling around the world and making observations then connecting the dots on the origins of our species.  Then that time came to go public with his THEORY of EVOLUTION.  So, he realized that he should have Never Start What he Can't Finish.  For some of us, it's that very anxiety about our work and sharing it that keeps us from seeing it through to the end.

Even if you spend endless hours constructing a narrative about how impactful an idea can be, nothing changes if you DON'T deliver on that idea.  Shipping or bringing that idea into fruition, is what causes change to happen.  Then you will realize, albeit of late that indeed, you Never Start What You Can't Finish Now what are the COMMON ROADBLOCKS that get in the way and how can we overcome it?

Let's think about it, where will be better off?  Being READY ?  or Being PREPARED ?  In the United States, it is commonly heard that the route to Carnegie Hall [that famous and cavernous concert hall in New York] is paved with PRACTICE PRACTICE and PRACTICE.  But PRACTICE is another word for PREPARATION.  I'm not referring to being prepared though.  Preparations ISN'T synonymous with being READY.  READY is an emotional choice, the decision to put something into the world and say 'I MADE THIS !' That emotional choice of exposing ourselves. Never Start What You Can't Finish

Flipside of things, let's recall the times when we started off an argument that turned into a full-blown quarrel.  Sounds familiar?  Yeah, here's my question.  Did you FINISH off that quarrel?  Got it fixed or closed out?  That's where we are commonly guilty of.  There are gaps and quarrels we leave it at that, [wrongly] thinking that it will die a natural death.  No sirrrrrrrrrrs, it won't.

So what is it we want?  Nothing less than a peaceful and serene life where we will enjoy our moments, either by ourselves [a.k.a. SELF-CARE] or with our loved ones, our partner/spouse no less.  Regardless, let's get this embedded within us:  NEVER START WHAT YOU CAN'T FINISH, whether it's towards achieving your goals or having started a conflict that needs to be fixed and dusted off📗📘📙

Take The Easy Bucket

Take The Easy Bucket

Many, in fact, most of the things in life are NOT 'giveaways'.  In NBA jargon, there are NO 'gimme shots'.  You got to kick your butt and earn it.  Having said that, DON'T forget to Take The Easy Bucket because, like it or not, there are those 'low hanging fruits' which are up for your pickin' [if you DON'T miss it].  If and when you miss it, it dissipates in thin air because those opportunities a.k.a. 'low hanging fruits' will not wait, in eternity, for you to lift your finger.

Yesirrrrs fruits are fruits eventually for you to pick up and harvest but talking about harvesting is an entirely new ballgame.  Whereas, with minimal effort, there are tose EASY BUCKETS, those low hanging fruits for you to Take The Easy Bucket.  Problem for some of us, when it's that a low hanging fruit, we'll rather wait for it to drop on the ground.

As my personal sharing here, you could challenge me, why didn't I end up ensconced in those CxO-level roles?  Good question.  Likely, it is because I didn't [honestly] aim for those TOP PLUMS.  I thought I'm not cut for the high and dry tactics in the boardroom, the nip and tuck games embroiled with hidden maneuvers and 'beneath the surface' bickering that evolve to full-blown turmoil.  Not an excuse but this is just a personal affirmation of what DIDN'T happen.

Play "devil's advocate' if you may.  Why shouldn't we be angling for the 'high hanging' fruit?  YES YOU CAN, by all means. But we got to realize that you need an Xtra ladder, Xtra efforts, Xtra energy to even have a china man's chance to grab that fruit.   Whereas with those 'low hanging fruits', what else do you need?  All you need is your own personal gumption and appetite to go for it, grab the fruit and run away with it.  Just another no-brainer.

So, this is all life about.  We will grapple, struggle and wrestle and even brawl all we want but do we want to take the long, hard and circuitous road as against that narrow but simple straight point to point trek?  This reminds me as to why the demigods in the NBA are very good at.  At crunch time, the coaches would plot out the 'TAKE THE EASY BUCKET' plans which will catch the opponent totally off-guarded.  Swinging back to our lives, do consider to TAKE THE EASY BUCKET📌📌📌

From Confusion to Clarity

From Confusion to Clarity

Who wants confusion?  Definitely no one.  But can we avoid confusion?  No way, Jose.  Why?  Because confusion is part and parcel of life. In fact, life in itself is a roadmap From Confusion to Clarity.  Never expect to get into that CLARITY state unless you started off somewhere the CONFUSION point.  When we hear "I DON'T KNOW", many times, these three words send some people into a PANIC state.  Not knowing can feel stressful.  It seems like you aren't on the right track.

Or that maybe you're never going to figure out the solution to your challenge and in the discomfort of 'NOT KNOWING" you avoid it like the plague.  When the first answer to "WHAT DO I WANT HERE?" is "I DON'T KNOW", you ricochet off the topic like a super ball and you avoid digging into it any deeper.  BUT that is NOT the way to find a solution.  As the poets say it, "KEEP DIGGING FOR BURIED TREASURE".

Imagine that you're a pirate, digging for buried treasure.  You land in a remote island, shovel in hand.  You're looking to find the treasure chest of your answer.  But as you begin to dig, all you're pulling up is dirt !  Then, imagine you get so UPSET and just stopped digging.  Just because you pulled up a few shovels of dirt.  That would sound crazy, right ?  Of course, you will scoop up some dirt because after all, this is buried treasure after all.  

BUT, we often react that way in our lives.  When you DON'T know the answer to something, you just stop digging.  BTW, the digging takes and requires SOME effort and it is definitely uncomfortable.  This is much more true when you're wrestling with a big challenge.  You may need to dig through more dirt of 'NOT KNOWING' before you get to the gold of 'KNOWING".  

All of this is to say this:  IF YOU LET THE FIRST FEW INSTANCES OF "I DON'T KNOW' HOLD YOU BACK FROM SEEKING YOUR ANSWER, YOU'LL NEEVR FIND IT".  Coming from CONFUSION to CLARITY is a long, arduous road to trek and BTW, not everyone does survive that treacherous trek.  So that's it.  The ROAD to CLARITY starts with CONFUSION.  The misconception here is that "NOT KNOWING" is bad and "KNOWING" is good because that means you are on track from CONFUSION to CLARITY📌📌📌