Are We 'IN SYNC' With Our Own Pace?

Nope sirrrrs, we're NOT covering the olympics synchronization events for our thread today.  BUT in life, Are We 'IN SYNC' With Our Own Pace?  Maybe as we speak now, you are at the apex of your life, accomplished and successful, capable and confident even down the road.  BUT do you have your own BUY-IN and willingness enough to transition from ACTIVE-doing to PASSIVE-being?  Perhaps WHAT you really want is to synchronize your life, integrate your personal and professional lives and along the way, find that common pathway to growth.  BUT HOW???

Listening to the experts, their studies showed that as we age, our desire to synthesize the various aspects of our life into an essential self does increase.  Famous psychologist Carl Jung called this the 'INDIVIDUALIZATION PROCESS'  which means we become authentically aware of WHO we are and WHAT we genuinely seek.  It then becomes that wise amalgamation of our experiences, our mindfulness and our aspirations, all rolled into one

Heard about stacking those Russian nesting dolls.  WHEREIN we have a personal, social and even transcendent self and each is contained above OR below the next.  To quote the experts, WHEN we are IN SYNC, we are cognizant of WHERE these versions of our self touch, align and even meld into one another.  Think about those situations WHERE we feel energized [YESSSSS, I vividly remember my daily walks spanning anywhere between 5 to 10 km per day [WHERE I feel fully immersed]

We could get engaged with various personal activities and it could be as trivial as writing our family history that involves interviewing our aging parents and relatives.  OR it could be as casual as sitting and rediscovering your passion for a specific music instrument [which could be a guitar or piano].  Perhaps it's just doing more of WHAT makes you happy, fulfilled and enlivened [devoid of any external unnecessary pressures on you

Our takeaway:  Being IN SYNC could spin you out of everything that's normal especially WHEN you [wrongly] thought that being IN SYNC should include factoring-in the external variables you either face OR encounter in life.  BUT the stark reality is, the buck starts and stops with you dude.  Get IN SYNC in your life, fix your front yard and backyard because primus inter pares, that is FIRST AMONGST EQUALS that calls for action coming from you [BEFORE mixing things out with the uncontrollable variables in life]😌😌😌

IF You Change The Way You Look At Things....

IF You Change The Way You Look At Things....

Our thread today may seem more of an intellectual discourse BUT I hope it's relevant enough because in our day-to-day life, NOT everything that's happening around us gets accurately read and dissected even by our own selves.  Many years ago, I felt stuck, feeling I CAN''T move forward, feeling like everything was working against me, like I was trapped in quicksand.  And I kept struggling.  And the more I struggled, the more stuck I became.  And one day I confided to my friend WHAT's going on with me.  He retorted: HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT MAYBE THE PROBLEM ISN'T WHAT'S HAPPENING  BUT HOW YOU'RE SEEING IT?  WHAT he meant was:  IF You Change The Way You Look At Things📗📙📘

At that point, I just CAN'T see things through and I reacted quite vehemently to that advice.  I started telling myself, HOW can I be wrong WHEN my situation was really that bad.  BUT since I trusted my friend, I gave his counselling the benefit of my doubts and I decided to give it a try.  And I started small and modest enough.  I changed the way I looked at my 'healing' process, at the people I was spending time with [like even at the workplace], and even the challenges I kept facing day after day.  Alas, before I knew it, things began to shift, albeit quite gradually and NOT so evidently.  And admittedly, I felt the change was evolving from deep within me.  BUT as I took pains adjusting the WAY I LOOK AT THINGS, I did began to feel much less stressed and seemingly more open💧💧💧

Before I knew it, the same routines that used to be a drag in my everyday life were becoming less of a burden, and instead I look at it as opportunities for me to pause, reflect and reconnect with the deeper parts of myself.  At that point, WHILE my situation had NOT materially changed yet, the way I look at it, it had.  And that made a world of difference because I started to have a better handle of the things around me💚💛💜

At that point, I thought, deep down, we all know that the way we look at the world shapes our experience of it.  BUT WHEN we are in the middle of a chaotic world, it is so easy to forget this.  Instead, we tend to see problems as permanent roadblocks in our way instead of opportunities OR learning moments.  Psychology experts coined the term 'COGNITIVE REFRAMING' and it attacks the very core of our challenges💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's take real-life scenarios here.  Let's say you got stuck at work because of heavy rains, and you CAN'T go home, you could focus on that frustration, thinking about all the time being wasted.  OR you could shift your mindset, LIKE maybe it's a chance to catch up with a colleague who's still around, OR maybe it's a rare moment for you to just breathe and reflect before heading home, grinding through the expected traffic gridlock that comes after heavy rains.  YES, maybe at that point, the rains haven't stopped BUT suddenly you DON'T feel bad anymore by then.  OH YES, our problems might still be there BUT they DON'T weigh you down in the same way😌😌😌

Do Small Stuff Matter?

Do Small Stuff Matter?  Probably NOT to the members of the billionaire's club.  Probably NOT to those business behemoths.  And probably NOT for someone seated on that exalted C-suite job role.  BUT dude, you got it all wrong in that case because the small things in life are much more important than those BIG things.  So, WHAT makes your day special to you?  WHEN you hit the sack at night, do you find yourself grinning WHEN you reflect on anything that happened during the day?  It may seem insignificant.  YET, that is where the beauty lies📗📙📘

Thing is, as we work on our goals and dreams, most of us [YES, I'm guilty of that many times in the past!] do focus on taking and making those big, huge strides.  Getting that fat big paycheck instead of a paltry small amount.  Almost every time we only consider BIG things as an achievement and the SMALL things AREN'T that an achievement.  WHAT explains that convoluted thinking?  YES, it is much easier to see the progress OR see the effect of something if it is that BIG💚💛💜

Very true, we WON'T notice those SMALL waves as often we notice BIG waves on the beach.  If that is so, WHY are SMALL things important too?  It is that imperative to appreciate the SMALL things OR SMALL waves as well because that would allow us even life from a different perspective.  We would NOT be overwhelmed.  We would be able to 'break' down BIG tasks and celebrate the SMALL wins.  Taking the time to appreciate the SMALL things is indeed rare these days.  NOT everyone focuses on the LITTLE details OR SMALL things.  It is also one of the reasons WHY we give up easily on the process.  We forget that we are learning OR progressing along the way✅✅✅

One thing that is quite often overlooked is the obvious fact that even SMALL things can be achievements by itself.  I am NOT one to beat my chest BUT looking back WHEN I was an entry-level I.T. systems engineer, there I was, sprawled on the floor, soldering hundreds of coaxial cables to ensure that those terminal end-points are firmly attached and WON'T loosen at all.  At hindsight, if I DIDN'T drive myself into those SMALL stuff, there is a palpable chance that I may NOT have progressed in my career.  And YES, I can cite tons and tons of SMALL stuff which I humbly achieved.  And without those SMALL stuff, I CAN'T surmise HOW or WHERE I could be right now😔😔😔

Our takeaway:  Think about it.  For the sake of argument, let us conservatively assume that you are NOT that kind of a BIG achiever.  As such, you end up with SMALL stuffs achieved from time to time.  Over time, those SMALL stuffs would have piled up.  Seriously.  And once they have all piled up, do ask yourself.  Could you have get to those piled up SMALL stuffs if you DIDN'T achieve multiple times in the past?  Let's NOT look far.  Even walking across streets, I see long winded queues of LOTTO bettors.  NOT to bad-mouth those bettors because they are betting on their hard-earned monies but most of them, if NOT all, are so enamored hitting the LOTTO JACKPOT.  Sadly, I can bet my whole salary, 99.999999% of them have NOT hit that jackpot yet.  So, DO SMALL STUFF MATTER?  YES dude, it matters a hell lot❗❗❗

Perspective Is Everything!

Obviously, there is NO sure-fire formula for success OR happiness.  BUT if there's something that's NOT debatable at all, it's the fact that Perspective Is Everything!  It signifies that HOW you interpret and view a situation, WHETHER in business OR in your personal life, it significantly impacts our decision-making, problem-solving and even interrelationships we have around us.  Was there a time in the past you were walking by yourself and a stranger walks opposite your own direction and deep inside, you tend to internally react that you CAN'T fathom that stranger [WHEN that stranger has got NOTHING to do with you, AS IN, NADA, NONE, KEINER.  Blame your perspective for that skewed view

I did interact with some personalities WHO were damn stubborn WHEN it comes to PERSPECTIVES because they dug a deep foxhole and would insists that once you framed something from within yourself, it goes beyond PERSPECTIVES.  BUT WHAT we're missing here is that opportunity for each of us to expand and transform our own PERSPECTIVES in life.  HOW crucial are PERSPECTIVES?  It is crucial dude.  BECAUSE PERSPECTIVES shape our lives.  It is HOW we see the world, the people around us and even ourselves.  WHAT we often forget is that NO two PERSPECTIVES are exactly the same.  In fact, they are opposite poles no less

BUT again, WHAT we're missing here is that WHEN we see things from different perspectives, we open ourselves up to personal growth, empathy and even that greater sense of fulfillment.  It is NOT just about seeing things differently.  It is all about transforming HOW you experience life.  HOW we see the world dictates the choices we make

Truthfully, our lives are made up of choices so if we do end up stuck in that narrowly lit PERSPECTIVE, it will be easy to feel disconnected and unfulfilled.  Having a limited viewpoint will likely lead us to isolation as we get stuck going deeper and deeper in our own beliefs and eventually shutting our other possibilities, PERSPECTIVE and even people.  This has become more and more apparent as we get closer to reality itself as we tend to view things through that clear BUT damn rigid lens shaped by our own personal beliefs and experiences.  Unfortunately, regardless as to how much and how far you and me are experienced, that's a drop in the bucket WHEN realistically looked at

Our takeaway:  Throughout our life, we were always taught about standing to our convictions BUT that can prevent us from truly understanding WHERE others are coming from.  WHEN we practice PERSPECTIVE-taking, we allow ourselves to step into someone else's shoes, thereby adding a different dimension and depth to complement your own view.  YES dude, PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING❗❗❗

Should We Be Quieter?

Should We Be Quieter?

Nope dude, for today, our thread is NOT relevant to the kids because in the midst of all the cacophony all over, SHOULD WE BE QUIETER?  Surely, this is very debatable because one might argue, HOW can you defend your thoughts and opinion if you keep mum?   Hmmm, makes sense, to a point.  BUT psychologists all sing in unison that based on their duplicating researches, clearly, there is power in SILENCE.  Like any power, it can be used to hurt OR to heal and perhaps that is WHY people respond so variably to it📘📙📗

For some, though, SILENCE means loneliness, isolation OR awkwardness.  Worse for some, they take it as a manifestation that they have mental health issues lingering.  True, SILENCE can be used to indicate emotional withdrawal, disapproval OR even punishment.  In our language, the word SILENCE is often used with negative connotations.  LIKE a conspiracy of SILENCE, being given that SILENT treatment, lifting that veil of SILENCE.  Alas, in our busy and noisy world, many people seem to fear SILENCE more than the cacophony around!@#$%? 

True, all the researches have shown that too much noise is bad for us.  BUT does that mean that SILENCE is good for us?  Hmmm, NOT necessarily as SILENCE is more than just the absence of noise.  However, those researches are beginning to suggest that SILENCE itself is beneficial both physically and even psychologically.  Spending time in SILENCE has been found to have positive effects on the body in terms of reducing blood pressure, and even boosting the immune system and to speak the medical jargon, even reducing blood cortisol and promoting hormone regulation and going by a stretch, preventing "arterial plaque formation".  Apologies for borrowing all those medical jargon BUT this is more to drive the point😌😌😌

Through the years, I've been caught in squabbles, quarrels and 'wars' [I may use hyperbole] BUT more often, I was more a witness caught in the crossfire with both protagonists spewing fire [and even 'VENOM'] BUT when things would simmer down, I realized one very recurring aftermath.  There are NO winners even after the dusts have settled down.  Instead, even as a layman, you can expect blood pressures to spike sometimes shooting up like berserk❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  SILENCE by itself can be double-edged as it can be used positively or negatively and thus it can be impacting, enough to influence our relationships, be it with our family, our coterie of friends OR even colleagues at the workplace.  The lesson here is that, since SILENCE can be double-edged, let us be mindful WHEN to blurt out OR WHEN to literally embrace that 'Omerta-like' stance.  WHAT is most important is our constant awareness of the consequence WHEN either SILENCE prevails OR NOT.  So, SHOULD WE BE QUIETER then???

That Chameleon Effect!

For the longest time, we are derided for being a replica of chameleons!   And that's understandable because they are [notoriously] infamous for changing their overall persona depending on the circumstances prevailing.  Having said that, things have evolved as we now often hear That Chameleon Effect!  WHAT exactly then is that CHAMELEON EFFECT?  To quote the AI bot, it is that tendency to unconsciously mimic the behaviors of others in a social setting.  And that includes mimicking their mannerisms, facial expressions and yes, the body language down to their language as well💚💛💜

And I can attest that I manifested that CHAMELEON EFFECT many times in the past and my vivid memory recall leads me back to those times I at at the reception area [or staging area], waiting for my interviewer to ask me to step into the interview room.  And I vividly remember my CHAMELEON EFFECT during those moments [even before the interview proper].  LIKE WHEN I noticed their interview rooms named after the Asian Cities like Singapore, Bangkok, Jakarta, Manila💧💧💧

YES, that CHAMELEON EFFECT describes those behaviors and manifestations.  I have to admit that many times, I was unaware that I was already engaged in that behavior, verbal expressions [and even the non-verbal].  YES, the word 'CHAMELEON' is a metaphor for a person's ability to reflect another one's expression and mannerism as if they were blending in with another person's feelings.  LIKE WHEN you're about to face a job interview and the interviewer seems so energized, so detailed and even so incisive with a detailed question that demands an equally detailed response💥💥💥

WHAT does this tell us?  THAT there is nothing wrong to manifest that CHAMELEON EFFECT.  THAT our survival instincts will always be egging us to adapt to WHAT we face in each moment, especially if that moment is important OR significant enough.  LIKE when you're in another country's immigration office, awaiting your name to be called for your request to extend your visa or visitor's stay in that country.  ISN'T it that during those moments, you tend to be fidgety, uneasy and even nervous.  Been there, done that many times BEFORE I secured my naturalized citizenship❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  Be as it may, let's be straight to quote the experts advising us that the CHAMELEON EFFECT generally positively influences the interrelationship between two people as it leads them to believe that they share similarities and are 'in sync' with one another.  NOT only do we tend to like people WHO are 'in sync' with us but human nature pulls us to gravitate and get connected.  At hindsight, nothing wrong with that CHAMELEON EFFECT dude😁😁😁

Is INDECISION That Bad?

Is INDECISION That Bad?

HOW many times we were afraid to make the WRONG DECISION?  I'll be the first to admit that that scenario quite terrified me, knowing that a WRONG DECISION is WRONG enough, no matter your excuses or explanations.  BUT  Is INDECISION That Bad?  Thing is, people are so freaked out making the WRONG choice.  Travelling the wrong road itself already means wasting time and energy [NOT to mention fuel, WHEN many years ago, I took the wrong turn in that very remote Bondoc Peninsula].  NOW, here's for the unexpected 'breaking news'.  Experts tell us that the only BAD DECISION is INDECISION, followed by inaction.  It DOESN'T matter WHETHER you choose right [because there may be NO wrong].  No such thing as wasted time, money OR energy📗📙📘

Thing is, as long as you commit yourself to that DECISION you made and get engaged with it and as long as you approach everything with openness [+ POSITIVITY], it may happen that you ended up choosing the wrong job BUT you can learn from the experience of living WHEN things are misaligned.  Moreover, that should lead you to know as to WHAT skills [OR resources] to equip you so that the next time around you need to grapple with a decision, you are much more informed.  The only way the time, money OR energy you put into something that's NOT quite right is wasted is IF you choose NOT to see and build upon WHAT you've gained along the way.  In the end, the only BAD DECISION is WHEN you end up with INDECISION.  WHY?  Because it leads to nowhere other than INACTION.  And without ACTION, there's NO data, data WHICH can you reference in the future, to better equip you as a decision-maker.  Without making that wrong turn, there is NO experience in life you can leverage on, NO information to serve as fuel for evolution, connection OR progress.  NO growth❌❌❌

To quote famous American writer, WHEN YOU STUMBLE, THERE LIES YOUR TREASURE. Even in the workplace and the business world, INDECISION is like a stigma because INDECISIONS are tagged as WRONG DECISIONS per se.  You might challenge abd ask, shouldn't we make QUALITY DECISIONS?  Very true indeed but studies showed that making DECISIONS quickly mattered many miles more than the QUALITY of DECISIONS✅✅✅

WWII war hero General George S. Patton was widely quoted that a good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later.  In the real world, it is true that newbies in the environment typically face more complicated DECISIONS than they expected.  In these situations it is that easy to freeze.  In fact, it becomes easier to justify waiting.  But experts tell us to "DON'T"!  BECAUSE WHEN you do, it will cost time and monies no less😋😋😋

Our takeaway:  Be sharp to observe yourself if and WHEN you make those INDECISIONS.  BUT remind yourself that waiting is only acceptable WHEN you have a reason and a deadline.  In that case, consider to set a reasonable deadline for you to make a DECISION.  NEVER leave it hanging indefinitely BECAUSE likely, it will hang there forever.  And if we're talking about 'BIG DECISIONS', we can break those BIG DECISIONS into bit-sized pieces.  In literary prose, to break down those mental barriers between yourself and a big behemoth, divide that behemoth into small chunks because INDECISION CAN BE BAD❗❗❗

That Chink In Our Armor

That Chink In Our Armor

WHEN THINGS FALL APART, WHAT happens next?  YES That is WHEN those chinks In our armor will surface out and become visible [seriously, even to the blind, deaf and mute].  BUT as we often heard, the wisdom of learning from failure is incontrovertible.  NOW for some hard facts.  On average, most of us will spend [roughly] one third of our lives at work.  That translates to approximately 90,000 hours whew!  So, it's just inevitable that each of us wlll go through difficult periods within that cycle📗📙📘

Surely, our life can be peppered with setbacks and sometimes we get hit with it back-to-back.  WHETHER it's a fallout with a family member, a tongue-lashing from your boss, a relationship breakup, a business foray going awry OR even the death of a loved one.  There will moments WHEN even world events break our hearts, LIKE 9/11, LIKE the Ukraine war, LIKE the murders targeting Asian women in New York.  In 2022, Collins Dictionary named 'PERMACRISIS' as the word of the year as that year, it embodied the dizzying sense of lurching from one unexpected event to another💧💧💧

With wars and conflicts from Gaza in the Middle East all the way to the South China Sea conflicts, YES we can be forgiven for feeling that much of our lives are seemingly out of control.  And YES, we humans do hate that feeling out of control.  Just the very existence of the term 'control freak' indicates our need for control can go too far😌😌😌

Studies by psychologists have proven that we humans want to feel  that we're steering our own respective ships, that deep-seated desire for CERTAINTY + CONTROL.  These studies went farther and the results showed that having that SENSE OF AUTONOMY is the number one contributor to HAPPINESS and that we shouldn't be surprised that so many measures of our mental health are heading the wrong way???

Our takeaway:  NOT referring to any of those studies, WHILE we may NOT always be able to control events, we certainly can control our reaction to them and that can be a world of difference for us to achieve that HAPPINESS that can last much longer than it is now.  YES, we can fix that CHINK IN OUR ARMOR❗❗❗

YES, It Takes Work!

YES, It Takes Work!

YES, It Takes Work!  WHETHER you're an aspiring athlete, an upstart employee worker OR an upcoming entrepreneur, you and me will need to start right from Ground Zero.  YES, It Takes Work!  BUT obviously with exception.  UNLESS you are Baron Trump OR a scion of the legitimate rich and famous billionaires.  Otherwise, everyone of us needs to hue to this age-old mantra YES, It Takes Work!  BUT this should NOT floor you down or scare you away dude📗📙📘

So, one might ask, WHAT do we mean WHEN we blurt out that IT TAKES WORK?  Simple, dude.  Work your ass.  Grind at work.  Work like a DAWG.  Think about the BIG LEAGUES.  For the techies, we could be looking at the IT Parks in India OR if the stars will align for you, you can end up all the way up and out there at San Jose CA's Silicon Valley.  In the competitive world of sports, we have witnessed hundreds of gold medalists from the Olympics BUT looking at their storied life, they started right from Ground Zero many years prior to reaching the zenith of their competition.  Diminutive Olympics Gymnast Carlos Yulo was a 16-year old boy WHO accepted a scholarship from the Japan Gymnastics association, and had to start learning Nihongo up to the conversation level before he started grinding hard for his rigorous gymnastics training.  Eight years after, he stepped up the Olympics podium twice to receive two gold medals💧💧💧

So, WHAT'S the secret?  That secret is the best known secret in the world spelled E-X-T-R-A M-I-L-E.  Through the years, I've seen a big segment of people [WHOM I know up close] to shrug off their shoulders WHEN they hear EXTRA MILE ringing through their ears.  Sadly, many times, it does fall through deaf ears on the simple narrative that WE WON'T HEAR WHAT WE REFUSE TO HEAR.  Makes sense???

Just to share, HOW was I WHEN I started right there at Ground Zero.  YES, I did squat on the floor with a soldering tool to solder hundreds of coaxial cables.  That time, we were literally moving the local office of Shell Oil to Makati, the country's financial hub.  BUT things DIDN'T stop there.  I spent countless way below crawling the raised floorings.  YES because large data centers require raised floorings and many times, I was a worker for hard-labor work, tracing huge, heavy and long cables connecting the IBM mainframes with all the peripheral hardware scattered all over the sprawling area😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  So, WHAT does it take for us to go that EXTRA MILE?  YES, lots of sweat, lots of time and mile-long of patience, perseverance and persistence.  So, you might ask, is that a steep mountain to climb?  YES if you consider that steep.  NO if you rewire yourself and have that EXTRA MILER mindset.  Down the road, you will eventually reap the fruits of your labor.  YES, IT TAKES WORK, dude💥💥💥

Don't EVER Speak In 'ABSOLUTES'

Don't EVER Speak In 'ABSOLUTES'

This may sound contrarian and controversial and I CAN'T disagree less that WHAT is often missed is that we Don't EVER Speak In 'ABSOLUTES'.  BUT again, human nature tells us to be so generous at least even from an expression perspective.  HOW often we heard feedback like EXCELLENT, SUPER, AMAZING name it, even ChatGPT will run out of adjectives given our propensity to speak in ABSOLUTES📗📙📘

WHEN we start plotting our goals, there is NOTHING wrong if we blurt out with aggressive [and brimming with optimism] statements like, MY RESTAURANT BUSINESS WILL BECOME #1 OR I will be the fastest runner in the upcoming marathoner OR I'll be the most successful entrepreneur amongst all my friends.  It's true those RAH-RAH statements will help you go in overdrive mode BUT that's about it💥💥💥

I'm now running back, rewinding to that time years ago WHEN I was contemplating to explore the overseas job market.  And WHAT IF I shared my plans to every Tom, Dick and Harry?  And WHAT IF I assured to those I confided my plans that I'll hit pay dirt and be successful?  And WHAT IF I shared everyone my wishful thinking that I want a comfy corporate job WHERE I'll live out of my suitcase, being a road warrior✅✅✅

Playing a reversed devil's advocate, the old cliche 'two heads are better than one' generally runs true BUT hold on.  Do we need a 'second head' as the source of inputs in our planning phase?  Again, I WON'T speak in absolutes here.  I WON'T claim I WON'T need another head.  On the other hand, would I need another head each time I need to come up with a decision?  NOT necessarily.  In fact, most of the time, we are expected to be ON OUR OWN as it is us WHO owns that decision-making.  And there's NO WAY we can either avoid OR run away from that decision crunch💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  As a best practice, whether in our family life, work life OR in business, as much as possible, let us be cautious from talking in ABSOLUTES because sometimes, those ABSOLUTES are either NOT feasible OR NOT realistic, one way OR the other.  And if we DON'T achieve those ABSOLUTES, there will be undue pressure upon us to DELIVER THE GOODS, with NO quarters left for us to UNDO those ABSOLUTES.  Words matter dude❗❗❗