When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us

When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us

American Author Zig Ziglar was well famous for many things but one quote that got embedded in me was this:  WHEN WE CHANGE WHAT WE FEED OUR MINDS, WE CHANGE WHAT COMES OUT IN OUR LIVES.  Well said. When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us, this does NOT become debatable anymore because we have to admit, for all the PROs of social media, admittedly it is a major source of the worst things to feed our minds💙💚💜

Truth is, when we get fed with the worst of things , it messes with HOW we see the real world.  As everyone thinks differently, and social media lets people share whatever is on their minds, very sadly, that does NOT always end up on a positive note as it tends to push people to start showing their 'darker' sides , pushing extreme opinions OR biases💥💥💥

Problem is, for [innocent] people WHO already agree with those ideas, social media just reinforces WHAT they think.  And for others, they might see it as a new information to hear BUT more often, such unvalidated information could be misleading and worst, could end up as akin to FAKE information.  We DON'T need to look far.  Revisit the recent political campaigns that happened in your own countries and tell me if FAKE information was NOT the 'dominant factor' in the tons of information that did spread out😌😌😌

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT here to instigate having social media thrown under the bus because I do access social media almost everyday as well.  Take Instagram which I very rarely access [except to browse breaking news about known celebrities hitting the headlines] YET one day, out of boredom, I decided to scroll through and I stumbled across a post that seemed to have rubbed me the wrong way❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  That veil of anonymity in social media is often pointed as the very culprit that triggers the worst in people.  WHETHER it is calling someone a barrage of slurs over an online game OR questioning someone's intelligence for asking a simple question, let us NOT forget that supposedly, the internet is a beautiful thing.  It's also the modern 'Wild West' and while it can be a lawless place, Even the LGBTQ+ folks are not spared of disrespect at the very least.  WHEN can we put a FULL STOP in letting SOCIAL MEDIA BRING OUT THE WORST IN US???

Breathe It Into Existence!

Breathe It Into Existence!

To quote NBA Fil-Am Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra from their Bahamas Training, Breathe It Into Existence!  That's WHEN during Media Day, he was literally 'bombarded' with pestering questions by the sports media as to HOW he looks at the NBA competition because key contending teams have really significantly beefed their respective teams.  Spoelstra's curt reply was Breathe It Into Existence!  Meaning, WHAT Spoelstra meant is that the Miami Team has enough GRIT to face competition and he DIDN'T stop there with those verbose 'Spoisms'.  He wanted to Breathe [that GRIT] It Into Existence📗📙📘

Honestly, we could hear rumblings on the ground that this should NEVER be a 'talking point' because in life, everything will just take its shape and move on.  Correct?  NO sirrrrrrs, I beg to defer to that fallacy.  I DON'T need to go back and intrude into each of your private lives BUT I'm quite sure you will agree that everyday, tons and tons of ideas, plans, options OR wishes will pop-out right after we wake up [OR even the day[s] before].  BUT WHAT happens next, your guess is as good as mine.  Likely, a big chunk of those raw ideas you had in your mind [maybe even weeks, months OR years back] remain stuck and stalled deep within.  WHY?  Because you have NOT BREATHE IT INTO EXISTENCE😊😊😊

True, human life as a whole does NOT have a clear purpose because then, a human would end up as a slave to that purpose.  True, unlike animals OR plants, WHOSE life has a clear purpose, which is to reproduce, a human being can willingly 'exit' the biological purpose and live another sort of purpose and life.  HOWEVER, this vastness of options for purpose that humans have often also leaves them confused❌❌❌

Now, can we see everything as an experience?  True, this may sound like an old cliche BUT the thing is, we humans DON'T just use words that randomly because our words carry a meaning and with that meaning also comes the images, the expectations and sentiments behind each word.  True, everyday we see people on social media who through memes, posts and pictures relate to the concept of living chaotic lives💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  One thing we are missing out here is that we DON'T and CAN'T strive in boundless open fields because we strive in and within structures.  NO matter how hard it is, try to establish a structure, starting from small [doing that one thing everyday at the same time, then add another thing, then another, until the whole day gets a form rather than being randomness.  YES we do see meaning in structures because structures seem to be directed towards something. , that out of them something actually happens.  This is translating into the simplest terms WHY and HOW we need to BREATHE IT INTO EXISTENCE❗❗❗

That Paradox Of Choice!

That Paradox Of Choice!

In this modern world we all co-exist, we tend to think more choices is better BUT there can be problems with excessive choices in our lives.  That Paradox Of Choice!  Decisions become less likely and paralyses the ability to make a decision, possibly leading to choosing the easy option [which happens by default] OR not making the decision at all.  We also be less satisfied with our choice and unsure we make the right choice📗📙📘

There's this intriguing research by psychologists WHERE it was found that consumers were 10 times more likely to purchase a jar of gourmet jam WHEN the number of jams on display was reduced from 24 to 6.  Indeed, this PARADOX OF CHOICE happens in every facet in our life, be it education, career, friendship, sex, romance, parenting or even in religious observance.  And one undeniable fact that complicates all these is that through the years, and even as we speak now, the range of CHOICES we face everyday has dramatically increased💥💥💥

How do we choose, how's our decision-making process and how difficult is it and demanding to make that wise and informed choice, that's something we got to come to grips.  And YES, choosing well is especially difficult for those determined to make only the best choices, WHICH individuals were described by psychologists as those 'MAXIMIZERS'💦💦💦

NOW, to confuse us more, what's most puzzling is that many of our CHOICES we decided on end up making us 'suffer', not literally, BUT we still do end up 'suffering' in various shapes and forms.  And WHAT further puzzles psychologists is WHETHER increased opportunities for CHOICES actually make us happier?  And the conclusion is that generally, the answer is a loud NO❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  I remember the very first time in my life WHEN I was [financially] capable to [FINALLY] buy my very first brand-new car, it was a breeze and a no-brainer at that.  WHY?  During those years WHEN the wide world web has NOT exploded yet, all I wanted was to buy a new Mazda car and WHEN I walked into the Mazda showroom to pick up my car, I almost fell down on the floor because I DIDN'T expect that I was buying the latest Mazda Familia model [hitherto NOT published] as I thought it will be the old Mazda 323 model but lo and behold, Mazda released that latest Familia model❗❗❗

You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

WHO says that IF we were born like scions of the Rockefellers and Trumps and that you're given a blanket guarantee that your life will be near-perfect [if NOT picture-perfect] from your first breath till your last breath?  NO WAY Jose.  Perhaps we want to hear the story about the reason WHY the instant we were born, we cry???  Do we feel we're alive to suffer???  YES, You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

Life is a SACRIFICE. so we are told, right?  Get a good education, find a good job.  Here you go.  DON'T we feel it?  I mean, the instant we are thrown on this Planet Earth, crying loudly and flopping around, everything is clear.  We are here to SUFFER.  That's HOW it starts and that's HOW life spontaneously goes.  Doing a lookup @ the dictionary, SACRIFICE is defined as 'TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT IS VALUABLE TO YOU IN ORDER TO HELP ANOTHER ONE💦💦💦

Can we spend the next minutes to explore this vision.  YES, life is the most valuable thing we have.  In the absence of life, we are NOT.  An individual does NOT exist in the absence of a biological context.  HOWEVER, this definition is insufficient to describe the human conception of life.  We all need REASONS TO LIVE and aim at fulfilling our desires of self-realization.  In a nutshell, we need PURPOSE in our life😃😃😃

In brief, giving up on our life means giving up our personal reason to stay alive.  BUT when does this sentiment of SACRIFICE arise?  YES, a concrete sensation of SACRIFICE arises WHEN an individual feels that undesired need to answer to the world for the first time.  The world we are born into, which comprises our culture and even those institutions, all those that precede us are imposed on the newborn [and alas, immediately it takes its toll].  For instance, WHY do we need to work [WHAT if I DON'T want to?]?  WHY should I pay taxes???

Our takeaway:  Regardless of your societal strata today, life is an aggregation of UPSIDEs and DOWNSIDEs, sometimes a combination of looping iterations, very much akin to my experience in my yesteryears WHEN I was deep into my linear programming.  Oh, I grabbed this funny quote from American comedian Stephen Colbert WHO says we can still make an omelette without breaking eggs [ONLY THAT it will be a REALLY BAD OMELETTE]❗❗❗

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?  Allow me to share here the Quora.com post by Bruktawit Abebaw last August 25th.  Helen Johnson from Tarrant, Alabama was caught stealing at a nearby DOLLAR GENERAL and the police were called to arrest her.  WHEN the officer arrived, he asked Helen WHAT she had stolen.  Her answer was heartbreaking:  FIVE EGGS TO FEED MY CHILDREN.  Instead of arresting her, the officer did something extraordinary.  He took her back to the supermarket and bought groceries for her and her kids.  Overwhelmed with gratitude, Helen cried and said:  SIR THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!

Indeed, a heart-wrenching story.  WHICH reminds me many years ago WHEN I was still residing in Singapore.  A young lady, likely below legal age, approached me and sought help to be rescued from an Indian syndicate WHO was purportedly unduly detaining her [with her fears she'll be sent to a sex den].  WHAT I did next was to find out the location WHERE she was purportedly locked and then, one early morning, she sneaked out.  Next thing I did, I bought her one-way return plane ticket with a STERN REMINDER that she should NOT explore going overseas again [UNLESS it's 100% legitimate enough]💧💧💧

Indeed, a single act of humanity, big OR small, even a welcoming smile OR literally a helping hand, a drink of water OR emotional support OR simply assisting a child get off the train, it can go a long way towards helping someone especially WHERE someone needs help either for reasons of FOOD or of FEAR.  Even as we speak now, conflicts along now raging in Ukraine and Gaza are enough to overflow the newswires bandwidth.  And that's NOT covering the widespread hunger and poverty💥💥💥

True, the harsh realities in life shows us this world spinning with little regard for human plight.  BUT random acts of kindness, no matter how small, should remind us of our shared HUMANITY, which brings us back to the PRINCIPLE of HUMANITY, a simple one that gives us the criterion for distinguishing RIGHT from WRONG❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Being humane is NOT always defined by rules and laws.  It should NOT require that being humane should be written and documented.  At the end of the day, much as we DON'T want to end up in the plight of those who are suffering OR in need of help, the least we can do during these times WHEN we are NOT the ones needing help is to extend that helping hand within our means, even if it means to be non-financial OR non-material.  Even counselling and guidance will go a long way for us to apply HUMANITY INSTEAD OF THE LAW❗❗❗

Our 'GAME OF TRUST'

Our 'GAME OF TRUST'

Like it OR not, we are all in Our 'GAME OF TRUST' in life.  We can hear all kinds of challenges [call it TURMOILS] in life.  LIKE I have just been laid off.  OR one of my kids is having trouble in school.  OR my father is very ill but we are penniless to bring him to hospital.  True, we should feel GRATEFUL for all that we have in life a roof over our heads, food and support from family and friends BUT with these challenges, WHAT else could you feel but ANXIETY📗📙📘

And this slows down our life.  WHAT slows us down is our respect for WHAT we are going through in life.  And HOW else should we react in the midst of those grim situations?  And IF ever I'll ask myself if I'll be grateful if I had just been laid off from my job, and NOT to mention the other challenges you are facing, obviously, the answer will be a very loud NO💧💧💧

There's NO need to point fingers here.  You and me could all have been in the same boat, at least sometime in the past [if NOT as we speak now].  Wherein WHEN we are confronted with difficult feelings, our tendency is to want to figure out the feelings will serve as our very 'teachers' and make us more aware, helping us grow as a human being.  And IF I may surmise, that's probably our own way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of our own mind.  In real life, however, some of us tend to create distance from our own feelings by focusing on how we can change them😀😀😀

Looking at the horizon, others relate to their feelings through the 'LENS' of WHAT their feelings mean about WHO they are, HOW their feelings reflect OR DON'T reflect their identity.  Still, others manage by turning them into their own narrative and continue that narration OR describing their feelings to themselves and everyone else.  And psychologists highlight that there is also a minority WHO keep their feelings from being felt at arm's length  by focusing on WHY their feelings have appeared, the particular cause and interpretation.  And they highlight that there is also a plurality WHO avoid their feeling altogether by projecting them onto others through schemes of blame and the like.  The point here is that whether understanding, learning from, examining OR manipulating, we are all quite clever enough WHEN it comes to finding ways to NOT feel our feelings directly💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT get too far here because for the longest time, we were taught that we should NOT get too close to our feelings, and certainly NOT get inside them, feel them in the flesh OR inhabit them.  We DON'T want to experience suffering so we keep our feelings in the realm of the mind, that safe distance away, through countless rational and seemingly self-protective strategies.  We believe then that if we were to feel our feelings directly, close the gap between the person WHO is experiencing the feelings and the feeling themselves, we might NEVER come out the other side.  This brings us back to the fact that, like it or NOT, we are in a 'GAME OF TRUST' in life❗❗❗

Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?

Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?

Anytime, I'm wholeheartedly ready to take back my words [and even EAT it too] if I embraced on something that was a myth and now it's time to debunk it.  So, Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?  YES, today, the concept of balancing WORK and LIFE has been described as a myth itself, WHEN in fact it has the potential to be the truth that will set you free.  WHEN will we realize that one day, work can take over our life???

Problem is, that purported lesson [that WORK CAN TAKE OVER OUR LIFE] is a brazen and blatant lie, so to speak.  BUT since WORK LIFE BALANCE can exist, YES YES yoH, we can still attain it.  BUT let's debunk the myths because at the end of the day, it's true we can still achieve WORK LIFE BALANCE💥💥💥

For our average professional, beginning a new job means putting in extra time to prove a high level of dedication.  It also exists in situations WHERE a vested employee is searching for advancement opportunities and believes that if they push themselves hard enough they can get that promotion one is angling.  BUT hey dude, these situations are often innately flawed because of culture and even communications💥💥💥

A long-running myth we've embraced for the longest time is that TIME MANAGEMENT will set us free.  BUT researchers said that the practice of TIME MANAGEMENT principles can sometimes be compared to first time parents discovering all the different methods of raising a child WHERE every person has another new opinion and their studies showed that it truly comes down to WHAT WORKS for the person😋😋😋

Our takeaway:  Let's keep things simple here.  And this reminds me of that 8-8-8 notion I heard WHERE we were told to spend eight hours working, eight hours sleeping and eight hours on recreational and social activities.  And that sounds amazing, right?  BUT the reality is, I will be hard pressed to find someone who lives by that notion.  Today, we [wrongly] think that TIME MANAGEMENT means following the alerts on our Outlook online calendars to check off our commitments in our To-do List.  BUT WHAT if you DON'T focus on trying to do everything?  So, IS WORK-LIFE A MYTH???

Our Roads Are ALWAYS 'Passable'

 

For many zillion times, I'd hear someone blurt like, I'M DONE, IT'S YOUR TURN or like, 'BEEN THERE, DONE THAT' or like 'I HAVE ENOUGH'.  Oh, really?  Should we stop our SELF-IMPROVEMENT initiatives for any of those reasons?  Probably, only someone WHO's seriously ill enough can say all these.  Otherwise, NOTHING and NOTHING should dissuade us from our SELF-IMPROVEMENT initiatives because yes,  Our Roads Are ALWAYS 'Passable', no road blockers along the way📗📙📘

Low confidence.  Self-doubt.  Seemingly unmotivated.  If so, MAYBE we are undervaluing our worth and limiting our success.  If this sounds familiar, there is NO better time for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT [often a.k.a. SELF-IMPROVEMENT] than NOW.  Challenge here is that the coinage 'PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT sounds so mundane, it will hardly illicit even the tiniest reaction from most of us.  It's like a motherhood statement BUT in the simplest words, SELF-IMPROVEMENT is that act of improving oneself💚💛💜

Personally, SELF-IMPROVEMENT is a lifelong journey I have committed myself, all the way from my high school and university days although admittedly, during those early years, I was ALWAYS [as in ALWAYS] nervous to try new things.  Sometimes, even like I felt I needed to be someone WHO had to do everything right and please everyone.  I felt at times I COULDN'T be my true self❎❎❎

WHEN I reached college, I can wholeheartedly say that that was WHEN I became steadfast in my SELF-IMPROVEMENT process.  I tried new things, took new risks, and I'll humbly admit that I became a better version of myself [although I never ceased to remind myself that even my better version [at that time] was far way off from WHAT I want to be.  The thing is, I fully embraced that process from thereon😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  SELF-IMPROVEMENT is something that takes time.  I've witnessed [first hand] multiple 'spoilers' WHEREIN a person is like a 'perfectionist' to the extent that even WHEN he has progressed by inch, WHILE he does recognize that, he does it NEGATIVELY by telling himself 'NAH, THIS ISN'T ENOUGH, NOT I WANNA BE' but that's precisely the point here, SELF-IMPROVEMENT WASN'T concocted straight from that Big Bang Theory.  Let us NEVER loose sight of the fact that everything in our life is a work-in-progress [WIP] and yes, although many times, there are potholes and roadblocks, OUR ROADS ARE ALWAYS 'PASSABLE'.  Bring it on, dude❗❗❗

Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?

Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?

NOT being a health or medical SME, I prefer to buy their most common reason that many of us get seemingly exhausted in our daily lives either because of insufficient SLEEP or undue STRESS.  I'd like to take the best of both worlds and argue that if you have issues both with SLEEP and STRESS, that is the very best recipe ever for your EXHAUSTION to become a serious and chronic issue.  So, Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?  BUT the truth is, we all go through periods of low energy.  Even a week of feeling more tired than usual is NOT that uncommon to manifest.  Yet, most people can tell WHEN their fatigue feels like something more serious.  And IF that's the case OR your fatigue gets worse OR lasts longer than a week OR two, you've hit that wall of 'NO RETURN' WHERE the most responsible next move is for you to seek medical consultation📌📌📌

And if you're feeling overly tired OR feeling your reservoir of energy [and battery life] getting drained, you're NOT alone.  One too many of us, a plurality at the very least OR demographically, it can even be a majority.  If you have an underlying condition, then you should be the first one to figure it out if you need to dig deeper.  And quite often, medical experts tell us the least of worries will come up next if your issue seems NOT getting sufficient OR quality sleep because more often, that gets easier rectified😖😖😖

Things get murkier if you are probably having deficiencies of the basic nutrients.  Iron, Niacin, Riboflavin, Folate, Vitamins B12, C, D, name it all because that's the farthest I can go.  BUT the thing is, if you're experiencing that probable troubling fatigue, DON'T waste time to seek a medical consultation.  As they say, fatigue that's related to a deficiency in any of the nutrients could normalize once nutrient levels improve💥💥💥

NOW, here's the biggest bomb yet to be dropped.  STRESS is now the unquestioned #1 'KILLER' regardless of demographics OR location.  And while they say that some STRESS is normal, WHAT will guarantee us that so-called normal STRESS we're going through will not worsen to become a chronic STRESS?  And medical experts declare that in fact, chronic stress may even lead to stress-related exhaustion disorder💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  A proven life hack [under normal circumstances] is to eat often to beat tiredness.  And a good way to keep your energy through every 3 to 4 hours a day rather than having a large portion.  Most importantly, exhaustion does NOT mean the 'end of the world' but it could lead you to a new lease of life as long as you NIP IN THE BUD a brewing problem that may just worsen and way beyond for you to handle.  So, ARE YOU ONE OF THE EXHAUSTED ONES???

One Step At A Time, PLEASE?

One Step At A Time, PLEASE?

Very true, if we had our way, everything needs to move at the speed of light.  Oh Oh Oh, that wisdom of taking life ONE STEP AT A TIME often gets overlooked.  In the rush to achieve our goals and keep up with the frenetic pace of life, we might even find ourselves burning out and losing sight of WHAT truly matters.  After all, we have been trained to cherish being busy.  BUT as the song lyrics go, can we take One Step At A Time?  Quite confusing but recent studies show that slowing down and taking time for oneself facilitates a more fruitful experience of life📗📙📘

So, are we slowing down to speed up?  To emphasize the importance of embracing the journey and learning from every step and finding inspiration in the unexpected.  Looking back, however, WHILE sometimes we might feel the need to speed up and do everything at once due to that FEAR OF MISSING OUT and pressure from other people, we actually must cherish rest time and periods of being still.  To quote psychologists, for in those moments, 'MAGIC IS BORN'.  I remember this story retold a zillion times over and over again, that rare encounter between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, two legendary martial arts icons, with Norris telling Bruce Lee that he was moving too fast, that his whole timing is OFF and that he needs to slow down.  Apparently, that interaction did hold a profound meaning beyond the realm of combat as Norris recognized that in the pursuit of greatness, sometimes it's essential to take a step back💥💥💥

WHY is it sometimes we do need to take a step back in life?  Obviously, we need to reassess things.  For so many years in our workplace, our favorite verb was to CHECKPOINT.  And till to date, that has become a household name in all our calls.  And it's even 'music to the ears' of our clients.  WHY?  Simply put, by CHECKPOINTING, we do reassessments of that journey to date, WHERE we stand now, HOW things stand now and WHAT's in store for us over there in the horizons.  In short, life can't be akin to the F1 Race where the rule of the game is to speed up at break-neck pace.  Life is altogether different.  People that pressure others to speed up simply have something inherently wrong with them💧💧💧

In the wild goose chase in our daily life, we would hear INNER PEACE, CALM and a QUITE MIND as topping the high priorities of WHAT we want in life.  However, ever since I entered the workforce, I have always constantly observed that most things move at the pace of the particular industry you are in, NOT in the pace of one person.  And being raw straight out of university during those years, I was telling myself that I got only one option and that option was for me to adjust and to align to the realities❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  This is neither a choice nor an option.   By slowing down, we will allow ourselves the opportunity to reflect, learn, and adjust our course WHEN necessary.  This deliberate approach NOT only prevents burnout BUT also ensures that each step we will take is purposeful enough and more importantly, meaningful enough.  Taking life ONE STEP AT A TIME is about making deliberate and informed choices that contribute to our long-term success.  WHERE to, dude???