It CAN'T Be Stormy & Raining Forever

It CAN'T Be Stormy & Raining Forever

How often did we hear this one-liner:  BE STRONG NOW BECAUSE THINGS WILL GET BETTER.  IT MIGHT BE STORMY NOW BUT IT CAN'T RAIN FOREVER.  Let's face it.  Regardless of your fame, fortune, OR abilities, life is always filled with difficulties.  You get to choose HOW you will react to those difficulties.   And learning HOW to deal with them in healthy and productive ways could [likely] result in personal growth and peace of mind.  And while everyone will agree that  It CAN'T Be Stormy & Raining Forever, our effective approaches to coping with life's challenges should be our focus because at the end of the day, we might be spinning in a loop of overthinking, instead of working from our strengths and taking time for our well-deserved self-care.  And talking about OVERTHINKING, WHEN problems arise in our lives, it is natural to focus inward as a way to try to find solutions to relieve the discomfort and unhappiness life's problems bring📗📙📘

True, WHEN problems do arise, the more we mull over a problem OR situation, the unhappier and more stressed YOU will feel, and YOU likely will NOT have found the solution yet.  In addition, OVERTHINKING has been found to interfere with our ability to solve problems, sap your motivation, and sustain OR worsen feelings of sadness.  Stopping OVERTHINKING is a lot easier said than done BUT psychologists still claim, we can hurdle it.  HOW???

Picking the brains of the SMEs, allow me to share here:

• DISTRACT yourself - WHEN you realize you are OVERTHINKING, find something fun [OR safe] to do to completely divert your attention away from OVERTHINKING
• SWITCH your thinking - Like screaming to yourself 'STOP!' then find something to think about that will NOT stress you
• SCHEDULE TIME - Set aside 15 to 30 mins each day to DO NOTHING BUT OVERTHINK.  Knowing that there will be a specific time for OVERTHINKING will help you to stop doing so the rest of the day.  Let's try this out.
• WRITE IT OUT - Write out your thoughts so you can organize and make sense of them.  OVERTHINKING complicates your thinking BUT writing down allows the dust to settle
  

Our eventual goal here is to replace our worrisome thoughts because true freedom comes in learning to replace obsessive and negative thoughts with either neutral OR positive thoughts at best.  We got to really remember that hard things in life DON'T and WON'T determine our identity.  Especially WHEN we are in a negative mood [WHICH does happen sometimes to us all] BUT the thing is, let us NOT look for the cracks.  OVERTHINKING uses up your mental resources, making it difficult to concentrate on other things💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHAT else can we do?  Allow me to state the super-obvious.  SOLVE WHAT CAN BE SOLVED.  Take a STEP [even if it's a damn, tiny, mini STEP] toward solving the problem[s] causing your OVERTHINKING and if you need to, you could write a list of every possible solution to the problem[s] at hand.  Let us take that concerted action instead of waiting for something to happen.  And yes, let us figure out the very 'TRIGGERS' of your OVERTHINKING and then avoid them OR alter the circumstances so they NO longer trigger OVERTHINKING.  Yes dude, IT CAN'T BE STORMY AND RAINING FOREVER😍😍😍

When Is ENOUGH, ENOUGH?

When Is ENOUGH, ENOUGH?

There are many situations in which one person specifies WHAT is ENOUGH for another person.  One person might decide he has had enough of something but it has to sink deep within us that everyone has different wants and needs.  And people are compelled to get WHAT their wants and needs tell them they must have.  For the more principled people, they will readily subscribe that 'AS LONG AS A PERSON HAS ENOUGH, THEY DON'T NEED MORE'.  BUT do those words translate into reality in real life?  Damn it, I'll be the first one to object because that's NOT and never happening.  WHY?  Because for each of us, we tend to move goal posts from time to time.  So,  When Is ENOUGH, ENOUGH???

Now, give us a fraction of a second to dream.  WOULDN'T it be great if all can agree to work on building an environment where everyone is ENOUGH?  Instead, we currently have these dire situations WHERE a big chunk of our population lives in poverty while a small number of people have more money than could possibly be spent even in several lifetimes.  It's the same case globally WHEREIN we produce enough food each year so that no one needs to be hungry BUT/YET, in some parts of the world, large quantities of food are wasted while in some parts, large number of people are chronically hungry💥💥💥

For me, the biggest issue [WHICH I doubt we can ever tackle, if at all] is WHO decides WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?  It will always be the case that WHAT is ENOUGH to one person could be an excess to another person and a shortage to someone else.  Oh Oh Oh, indeed life is akin to a Goldilocks game in WHICH we each have our own preferences for HOW warm OR cool our porridge should be.  WHEREAS Goldilocks knew WHAT was 'JUST RIGHT' for her✅✅✅

Ironically, it seems easiest to learn about our personal 'JUST RIGHT' states WHEN things are NOT right.  John might sip his Starbucks Americano he just ordered and instantly screw his face up and exclaim 'WHO PUT SUGAR?"  WHEREAS Jane might quickly grab the still 'HOT' french fries and then quickly reaches out for salt.  And so life goes on and on.  Sometimes, TOO hard, sometimes TOO soft, TOO rich, TOO poor, TOO fast, TOO slow, TOO black, TOO white, TOO fat, TOO skinny.  TOO active, TOO lazy, TOO busy, TOO bored and so on❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  Like it OR note, let's agree to this basic given.  THAT life is the very business of creating and maintaining the world we know in the "JUST RIGHT" states we want it to be in.  So, ENOUGH is just right.  BUT ENOUGH just CAN'T be stipulated OR mandated from outside, for the most part.  Because for the most part, there are many situations in which one person specifies WHAT is ENOUGH for another person.  YET, if someone decides HOW much is ENOUGH for someone else, that DOESN'T necessarily mean it will be ENOUGH for that person.  ENOUGH is always a personal experience.  ENOUGH is just right, seriously dude😌😌😌

It's NOT About Something CAN Or CAN'T Be Done!

It's NOT About Something CAN Or CAN'T Be Done!

These days, we have tons and tons of possibilities that we end up with a hard time choosing our key goals OR at least making an informed decision.  BUT nowadays, life seems limitless.  We can do almost anything we want and WHEN we want it.  Opportunities seem to abound endlessly and even the sky seems to be the upper limit.  Ironically, it may also mean we'll get overwhelmed by all the choices   It's NOT About Something CAN Or CAN'T Be Done!!!

Very true, it's NOT just our career that gets impacted by that state of stupor.  Even our personal life can be affected by the endless possibilities we have everyday.  Ironically, we often hit the wall, which is frustrating enough.  Someone WHO's been alone quite sometime kept registering in online dating sites and yet he can't find the partner he/she wants in life.  Over to the kitchen, someone wants to cook that 'perfect dish' but she's been hitting the wall as well.  Until she raises her hands in frustration and declares, THIS IS NOT MY CUP OF TEA.  Trust me, from that point onwards, she will hardly make another attempt to whip a tweaked recipe to cook that 'perfect dish'💥💥💥

Ironically, as we tend to juggle one too many things almost concurrently, we often end up spreading ourselves thinly.  And that's NOT to admit that we will be missing other tasks here and there.  At the end of the day, the more serious consequences is you will likely end up getting stressed, tired and maybe even heading towards a burnout, ouch💧💧💧

Sometimes, we get mixed up with our own play of words.  A 'CAN' thing turns out CANNOT.  Now you can ask me, HOW did I handle things when I ended up with that "CANNOT" conundrum in the past? Simple dude.  I went back to basics.  I grabbed a post-it note pad and wrote all the things that I currently do and would like to do on it, using a green colored post-it note for tasks I am tagging as 'CAN' and soon to be DONE💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  I'll be the first one to admit it is effortless to shrug things off and declare a task as CAN'T BE DONE.  BUT that brings me to the core of WHAT we really need to do and perform.  BUT WHAT gives?  It's because many of us struggle with overthinking.  We might procrastinate over and over again.  The goals and WHAT we wanted were already in front of us.  That is WHEN stress creeps.  And seriously, I DON'T want to be in that place WHERE you have BIG dreams and hope BUT the reality seems NOT to be WHAT you planned.  Our final takeaway:  IT'S NOT ABOUT WHETHER YOU CAN DO IT OR NOT.  IT'S ABOUT WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT!!!

Your Limits Are From Within You

Your Limits Are From Within You

How often do we hear people blurt like, OH I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT or THAT'S NOT MY CUP OF TEA or THAT'S NOT MY FORTE.  Surely everyone heard all of those one-liners.  BUT do those words really hold water?  So, this brings us all to LIMITS, that in the very first place, LIMITS are all in our heads.  And the trick is to truly believe that LIMITS, like fears, are just illusions.  And should we accept that Your Limits Are From Within You???

WHEN NBA basketball great Michael Jordan gave his Hall of Fame acceptance speech, he was widely quoted:  ONE DAY YOU MAY LOOK UP AND SEE ME PLAYING THE GAME AT 50.  And as the audience erupted in laughter, he added OH, DON'T LAUGH BECAUSE LIMITS, LIKE FEARS, ARE OFTEN JUST ILLUSIONS.  True, we all hear those laugh sometimes and perhaps they're out loud OR maybe they take the form of a sideways glance that speaks volumes like YOU CAN'T DO THAT.  BUT sometimes the laughs are our own, WHEN our performance falls short of WHAT we expected of ourselves.  So, WHAT's the trick here?  It is to truly believe that LIMITS are just illusions.  In short, here we go, we are encouraged to WALK THAT MICHAEL JORDAN WALK💧💧💧

Now, tapping the psychology experts, they tell us that, for us to be on right footing, we got to get glued to basic things in mind, like:

• SETBACKS ARE ALWAYS TEMPORARY.  Have the attitude that setbacks are merely short-term bumps in the road.  View your setbacks as gifts.  
• DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THE GETTING BETTER TO BEING BITTER TRAP.  Fear and limitations can easily shift your mindset from one focused n being better to one consumed with being bitter.

• Get the best of both worlds with FAITH, FIRE and FOCUS.  FAITH in our ability to excel and contribute, someone WHO believes in himself OR herself WHEN perhaps no one does.  FIRE is your passion, that intangible ingredient that trumps everything else.  And FOCUS is our relentless preparation to envision only a successful outcome and no less than that.

Our takeaway:  For anyone of us WHO wants to go beyond their own LIMITING thoughts, let us release ourselves from that FEAR of the new and the unfamiliar.  How often have you heard 'STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW BEST' so many times.  True, WHEN I was a child, it seemed like the right idea BUT as I grew up, I felt the exact opposite, seriously.  Instead, I'll be honest to admit that I'm more comfortable to say it differently like, DON'T LET YOUR MIND LIMIT YOUR CHANCE OF SUCCESS because I strongly believe these words because our LIMITS ARE FROM WITHIN US😃😃😃

Life Is All About Being Yourself

Life Is All About Being Yourself

Being yourself DOESN'T mean you need to be selfish OR you DON'T care about anyone.  Being yourself means you like WHO you are.  Being yourself means living life HOW you wanted to live it [regardless of other peoples' opinions].  And it just means you respect yourself, period.  Worrying about WHAT others will think is just an utter waste of time because me and you CAN'T really control their thoughts.  Life Is All About Being Yourself📗📙📘

Let's NOT forget this:  Everyone has his/her own life and they are free to live their life on their very own terms and conditions [NOT ours, NOT yours, BTW].  I've met people up close in the past, people WHO were genuinely kind , people WHO always thought about the happiness of others and always tried to meet the societies expectations.  WHAT happened next?  Many of them did struggle most of the time as they wanted to be WHAT others expect, ending up to constantly please other people and NOT be judged harshly❎❎❎

One narrative WHICH I did bear witness a zillion times even involved family members and cousins WHO ended up being 'compared'  [WHEN in reality, they ended up being pitted up in a competition between themselves].  Some even ended up copying themselves so they can get the compliments WHICH was 'music to their ears'.  BUT the net-net result is that people literally stopped being themselves, their 'REAL YOU', no thanks to that mindset of competing OR others💥💥💥

We CAN'T blame you for being NOT what you really are because for the longest time, maybe you [unknowingly OR unconsciously] believed that the goal was to fix all the aspect of yourself that was deemed either less OR not acceptable to others.  In short, you probably ended up so misguided to be the 'PERFECT YOU' [WHEN you CAN'T be that 'PERFECT' one at all😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  DON'T ever convince yourself that you will only ACCEPT yourself after you receive that ACCEPTANCE from other people.  NO sirrrrrs, that's a skewed perspective because you will likely end up [wrongly] feeding yourself with helplessness, powerlessness, incompleteness and be as USELESS as you wrongly thought.  Dude, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF❗❗❗

When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us

When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us

American Author Zig Ziglar was well famous for many things but one quote that got embedded in me was this:  WHEN WE CHANGE WHAT WE FEED OUR MINDS, WE CHANGE WHAT COMES OUT IN OUR LIVES.  Well said. When Social Media Brings Out The WORST In Us, this does NOT become debatable anymore because we have to admit, for all the PROs of social media, admittedly it is a major source of the worst things to feed our minds💙💚💜

Truth is, when we get fed with the worst of things , it messes with HOW we see the real world.  As everyone thinks differently, and social media lets people share whatever is on their minds, very sadly, that does NOT always end up on a positive note as it tends to push people to start showing their 'darker' sides , pushing extreme opinions OR biases💥💥💥

Problem is, for [innocent] people WHO already agree with those ideas, social media just reinforces WHAT they think.  And for others, they might see it as a new information to hear BUT more often, such unvalidated information could be misleading and worst, could end up as akin to FAKE information.  We DON'T need to look far.  Revisit the recent political campaigns that happened in your own countries and tell me if FAKE information was NOT the 'dominant factor' in the tons of information that did spread out😌😌😌

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT here to instigate having social media thrown under the bus because I do access social media almost everyday as well.  Take Instagram which I very rarely access [except to browse breaking news about known celebrities hitting the headlines] YET one day, out of boredom, I decided to scroll through and I stumbled across a post that seemed to have rubbed me the wrong way❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  That veil of anonymity in social media is often pointed as the very culprit that triggers the worst in people.  WHETHER it is calling someone a barrage of slurs over an online game OR questioning someone's intelligence for asking a simple question, let us NOT forget that supposedly, the internet is a beautiful thing.  It's also the modern 'Wild West' and while it can be a lawless place, Even the LGBTQ+ folks are not spared of disrespect at the very least.  WHEN can we put a FULL STOP in letting SOCIAL MEDIA BRING OUT THE WORST IN US???

Breathe It Into Existence!

Breathe It Into Existence!

To quote NBA Fil-Am Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra from their Bahamas Training, Breathe It Into Existence!  That's WHEN during Media Day, he was literally 'bombarded' with pestering questions by the sports media as to HOW he looks at the NBA competition because key contending teams have really significantly beefed their respective teams.  Spoelstra's curt reply was Breathe It Into Existence!  Meaning, WHAT Spoelstra meant is that the Miami Team has enough GRIT to face competition and he DIDN'T stop there with those verbose 'Spoisms'.  He wanted to Breathe [that GRIT] It Into Existence📗📙📘

Honestly, we could hear rumblings on the ground that this should NEVER be a 'talking point' because in life, everything will just take its shape and move on.  Correct?  NO sirrrrrrs, I beg to defer to that fallacy.  I DON'T need to go back and intrude into each of your private lives BUT I'm quite sure you will agree that everyday, tons and tons of ideas, plans, options OR wishes will pop-out right after we wake up [OR even the day[s] before].  BUT WHAT happens next, your guess is as good as mine.  Likely, a big chunk of those raw ideas you had in your mind [maybe even weeks, months OR years back] remain stuck and stalled deep within.  WHY?  Because you have NOT BREATHE IT INTO EXISTENCE😊😊😊

True, human life as a whole does NOT have a clear purpose because then, a human would end up as a slave to that purpose.  True, unlike animals OR plants, WHOSE life has a clear purpose, which is to reproduce, a human being can willingly 'exit' the biological purpose and live another sort of purpose and life.  HOWEVER, this vastness of options for purpose that humans have often also leaves them confused❌❌❌

Now, can we see everything as an experience?  True, this may sound like an old cliche BUT the thing is, we humans DON'T just use words that randomly because our words carry a meaning and with that meaning also comes the images, the expectations and sentiments behind each word.  True, everyday we see people on social media who through memes, posts and pictures relate to the concept of living chaotic lives💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  One thing we are missing out here is that we DON'T and CAN'T strive in boundless open fields because we strive in and within structures.  NO matter how hard it is, try to establish a structure, starting from small [doing that one thing everyday at the same time, then add another thing, then another, until the whole day gets a form rather than being randomness.  YES we do see meaning in structures because structures seem to be directed towards something. , that out of them something actually happens.  This is translating into the simplest terms WHY and HOW we need to BREATHE IT INTO EXISTENCE❗❗❗

That Paradox Of Choice!

That Paradox Of Choice!

In this modern world we all co-exist, we tend to think more choices is better BUT there can be problems with excessive choices in our lives.  That Paradox Of Choice!  Decisions become less likely and paralyses the ability to make a decision, possibly leading to choosing the easy option [which happens by default] OR not making the decision at all.  We also be less satisfied with our choice and unsure we make the right choice📗📙📘

There's this intriguing research by psychologists WHERE it was found that consumers were 10 times more likely to purchase a jar of gourmet jam WHEN the number of jams on display was reduced from 24 to 6.  Indeed, this PARADOX OF CHOICE happens in every facet in our life, be it education, career, friendship, sex, romance, parenting or even in religious observance.  And one undeniable fact that complicates all these is that through the years, and even as we speak now, the range of CHOICES we face everyday has dramatically increased💥💥💥

How do we choose, how's our decision-making process and how difficult is it and demanding to make that wise and informed choice, that's something we got to come to grips.  And YES, choosing well is especially difficult for those determined to make only the best choices, WHICH individuals were described by psychologists as those 'MAXIMIZERS'💦💦💦

NOW, to confuse us more, what's most puzzling is that many of our CHOICES we decided on end up making us 'suffer', not literally, BUT we still do end up 'suffering' in various shapes and forms.  And WHAT further puzzles psychologists is WHETHER increased opportunities for CHOICES actually make us happier?  And the conclusion is that generally, the answer is a loud NO❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  I remember the very first time in my life WHEN I was [financially] capable to [FINALLY] buy my very first brand-new car, it was a breeze and a no-brainer at that.  WHY?  During those years WHEN the wide world web has NOT exploded yet, all I wanted was to buy a new Mazda car and WHEN I walked into the Mazda showroom to pick up my car, I almost fell down on the floor because I DIDN'T expect that I was buying the latest Mazda Familia model [hitherto NOT published] as I thought it will be the old Mazda 323 model but lo and behold, Mazda released that latest Familia model❗❗❗

You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

WHO says that IF we were born like scions of the Rockefellers and Trumps and that you're given a blanket guarantee that your life will be near-perfect [if NOT picture-perfect] from your first breath till your last breath?  NO WAY Jose.  Perhaps we want to hear the story about the reason WHY the instant we were born, we cry???  Do we feel we're alive to suffer???  YES, You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

Life is a SACRIFICE. so we are told, right?  Get a good education, find a good job.  Here you go.  DON'T we feel it?  I mean, the instant we are thrown on this Planet Earth, crying loudly and flopping around, everything is clear.  We are here to SUFFER.  That's HOW it starts and that's HOW life spontaneously goes.  Doing a lookup @ the dictionary, SACRIFICE is defined as 'TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT IS VALUABLE TO YOU IN ORDER TO HELP ANOTHER ONE💦💦💦

Can we spend the next minutes to explore this vision.  YES, life is the most valuable thing we have.  In the absence of life, we are NOT.  An individual does NOT exist in the absence of a biological context.  HOWEVER, this definition is insufficient to describe the human conception of life.  We all need REASONS TO LIVE and aim at fulfilling our desires of self-realization.  In a nutshell, we need PURPOSE in our life😃😃😃

In brief, giving up on our life means giving up our personal reason to stay alive.  BUT when does this sentiment of SACRIFICE arise?  YES, a concrete sensation of SACRIFICE arises WHEN an individual feels that undesired need to answer to the world for the first time.  The world we are born into, which comprises our culture and even those institutions, all those that precede us are imposed on the newborn [and alas, immediately it takes its toll].  For instance, WHY do we need to work [WHAT if I DON'T want to?]?  WHY should I pay taxes???

Our takeaway:  Regardless of your societal strata today, life is an aggregation of UPSIDEs and DOWNSIDEs, sometimes a combination of looping iterations, very much akin to my experience in my yesteryears WHEN I was deep into my linear programming.  Oh, I grabbed this funny quote from American comedian Stephen Colbert WHO says we can still make an omelette without breaking eggs [ONLY THAT it will be a REALLY BAD OMELETTE]❗❗❗

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?  Allow me to share here the Quora.com post by Bruktawit Abebaw last August 25th.  Helen Johnson from Tarrant, Alabama was caught stealing at a nearby DOLLAR GENERAL and the police were called to arrest her.  WHEN the officer arrived, he asked Helen WHAT she had stolen.  Her answer was heartbreaking:  FIVE EGGS TO FEED MY CHILDREN.  Instead of arresting her, the officer did something extraordinary.  He took her back to the supermarket and bought groceries for her and her kids.  Overwhelmed with gratitude, Helen cried and said:  SIR THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!

Indeed, a heart-wrenching story.  WHICH reminds me many years ago WHEN I was still residing in Singapore.  A young lady, likely below legal age, approached me and sought help to be rescued from an Indian syndicate WHO was purportedly unduly detaining her [with her fears she'll be sent to a sex den].  WHAT I did next was to find out the location WHERE she was purportedly locked and then, one early morning, she sneaked out.  Next thing I did, I bought her one-way return plane ticket with a STERN REMINDER that she should NOT explore going overseas again [UNLESS it's 100% legitimate enough]💧💧💧

Indeed, a single act of humanity, big OR small, even a welcoming smile OR literally a helping hand, a drink of water OR emotional support OR simply assisting a child get off the train, it can go a long way towards helping someone especially WHERE someone needs help either for reasons of FOOD or of FEAR.  Even as we speak now, conflicts along now raging in Ukraine and Gaza are enough to overflow the newswires bandwidth.  And that's NOT covering the widespread hunger and poverty💥💥💥

True, the harsh realities in life shows us this world spinning with little regard for human plight.  BUT random acts of kindness, no matter how small, should remind us of our shared HUMANITY, which brings us back to the PRINCIPLE of HUMANITY, a simple one that gives us the criterion for distinguishing RIGHT from WRONG❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Being humane is NOT always defined by rules and laws.  It should NOT require that being humane should be written and documented.  At the end of the day, much as we DON'T want to end up in the plight of those who are suffering OR in need of help, the least we can do during these times WHEN we are NOT the ones needing help is to extend that helping hand within our means, even if it means to be non-financial OR non-material.  Even counselling and guidance will go a long way for us to apply HUMANITY INSTEAD OF THE LAW❗❗❗