In Life, Do You Perform Your Tasks in PARALLEL ? Or SERIALLY ?

In Life, Do You Perform Your Tasks in PARALLEL ?  Or SERIALLY ?

In life, how do you go about with your tasks ?  SERIALLY like the caboose and the freight trains ?  Or in parallel like the multi-processing environments in technology.  I don't intend to initiate a crash course in project management but having gone through project management through the years, that's the constant question that stomps the project manager right from Day-1.  Problem is, from Day-1 when the newborn baby was heard with that loud cry, we got oriented that doing thinks serially and sequentially is the way to go.

One misconception we need to rectify is this flawed understanding that parallel task management versus serial/sequential task management is better left for project managers and not for small business owners, students or even freelance workers.  This is a serious gap that needs to be corrected because our lives revolve around tasks.  You can run your own business but you still got tasks at hand.  You can be a student in the academe but surely you got in your hands enough To-Do tasks.

But unless you are working in a factory process that needs to be serially executed, performing tasks in parallel mode is always part of the equation.  Amanda Kreuser does a very good pitch @ https://www.inc.com/amanda-pressner-kreuser/run-your-personal-life-like-a-project-manager.html wherein she pitches that we need to run our personal life like a project manager [and we don't need to get trained as project managers].  As she admitted, prior to this pandemic, 'most evenings flew by in a flurry of activities...It felt like a million things were happening but almost nothing was getting done'.  As a realization, she decided to replicate the basic project management strategies she has been successfully performing at work.  Lo and behold, she admitted she 'almost immediately felt the impact'.  

Think about it, that typical factory environment where every single task has to be performed serially, sequentially.  That was not because it was their preference but rather, that's the process that needs to be followed in the factory.  Swing over to your life, please DON'T replicate that serial process unless that is warranted.

On the other hand, you don't have to be in a semi-conductor or automated environment for you to pursue tasks in parallel mode.  It all boils down to the situation at hand and, as always, the most basic question is this: which tasks can I perform with NO dependencies whereas which tasks I can't perform yet because of dependencies ?  Look back in your lives, isn't it so frustrating that some tasks that could have been done a month ago or weeks ago have now become URGENT tasks because you kept procrastinating and postponing performing it because you are in 'SERIAL Mode' ?

Erich Dierdorff said it all that time management is about more than just life hacks @ https://hbr.org/2020/01/time-management-is-about-more-than-life-hacks.  And Erich highlights the 3 A's for your time management to end up more likely in success than failure:  AWARENESS that time is a limited resource.  ARRANGEMENT which by itself means PLAN PLAN PLAN and ADAPTATION which translates to monitoring your activities.  Let's get onboard on this, folks.✅✅✅

How Far Will the Smooth Train Travel Go

 How Far Will the Smooth Train Travel Go ?

Analogous to a train ride, in our life, we have much more moments of smoother rides than those rough patches, rough rides.  Problem is, when life is so good, we are tempted to have kampai's left and right.  We may not be that prematurely celebratory but when a friend taps our back and flatters you even with a minor-minor success, you fall prey and end up succumbing to host kampai's left and right.

And when onboard that smooth freight train ride, it feels to be a smooth one till you reach your finish line.  Lowering our guard during those moments become our point of reckoning.  And all your efforts can go for naught just for those fleeting moments of undoing, of utter remiss.

And during those moments of complacency, we tend to be constantly up there in Cloud 9.  Things just can't seem to go wrong until it goes wrong.  Our skills ?  We thought we were a notch over everyone else, giving us that feeling of resting on our laurels.  But hey, our skills have much shorter shelf lives !  You may be an SME [Subject Matter Expert] now on a specific technology but tomorrow, that could be obsolete.

Go over to your plants.  They can't remain that springer unless you constantly nurture them.  Boris Groysberg and Robin Abrahams articulated it clear enough @ https://hbr.org/2014/03/manage-your-work-manage-your-life, they are emphatic that managing your work means managing your life.  They highlight human capital, 'endeavoring to give both work and home their due through the years, not just weeks or days.

And nurturing to keep those relationships healthy through and through can never be understated.  We can't affort relationships to crumble, be it at work or at home as both our work and our homes are the very bedrock and foundations of our life.  So, it becomes imperative that you always remain steadfast and maintaining that hard-earned momentum.  And here's the common culprit. Each time you shift your focus or you stop what you're in, you bet, you'll lose that momentum and to regain that, it will need much more energy again.

If you're a freelancer, Mary Mehaffey rattles @ https://education.wm.edu/centers/ttac/resources/articles/consultcollaborate/sustainmoment/index.php for us to sustain that momentum.  And she highlights ten pitfalls [i'd like to call it the ten landmines planted all over the place] for us to avoid.  Indeed, to work as a freelancer will be challenging as you become more vulnerable to be pulled at various directions.

And if there's 'ONE THING' that will keep you going, never lose focus on your goals and if ever you momentarily lose it, Marvin Marcano articulates well @ https://medium.com/publishous/how-to-recover-when-you-lose-momentum-with-your-goals-cc02bd128d79.  Just don't beat yourself up.  Simply acknowledge it, address the gaps and move.

Geoffrey James calls it the 'upward momentum' @ https://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-create-upward-momentum.html.  And he clearly cautions us that if we "don't do the work to keep moving up, you're doomed to go downhill".  And by the way, you can run like Usain Bolt [the Jamaican who's considered the greatest sprinter ever] but if you're running around in circles, you'll not get the finish line.  Tough call for you dude.🌈🌈🌈

Get Your MOJO Back !

 Get Your MOJO Back !

Remember how pumped up you were ?  Those first weeks of your class.  Those early weeks in your new job.  That first month of your new project. Until one day when you woke up, you realized you lost your mojo.  Suddenly, the drive was gone, the energy seemed spent, the inertia seemed lost and you realized of late that you were now a shell of that pumped-up, energized and extremely motivated fellow during those first weeks.  How time flies, really.

At the other side of the coin, there seems a plateful of things for you to get focused on.  It's not something where you're really idle.  You realized that that burning motivation suddenly fizzled out.  Suddenly, you realized that what is all left are the sands and the camels.  Unfortunately, much as you wanted to lift your finger now, your moves seem so contrived, no one is biting.  OR, have you priced yourself well beyond ?  Josh Linkner says it @ https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshlinkner/2012/08/16/you-lost-it-7-ways-to-get-your-mojo-back-yeah-baby/?sh=55f1026a7044 wherein he kept harping you gotta CHANGE. CHANGE your view, CHANGE your attitude, CHANGE your patterns, CHANGE your priorities, CHANGE your mentor, BUT and here's the BIG BUT.  not all of those CHANGES will be easy.  In fact and in truth, none of them are.  To quote Linkner:  'they all require a forced change of habit'.

 

Oh, I love this piece from Emily Hurley-Wilkinson, an accredited personal coach and who became famous for her book 'RECLAIM YOUR MOJO' wherein in her piece @ https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/to-get-your-mojo-back-get-your-breathing-right-1.3361653, she exclaims that what matters most is resiliency because that's at the very core.  

Lolly Daskal says it all in her piece @ https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/6-simple-steps-to-get-your-mojo-back-after-you-lost-it.html#:~:text=Get%20unstuck%20by%20shifting%20your%20perspective.&text=Nothing%20you%20try%20seems%20to,way%20you%20look%20at%20things which can be summed as follows:  go for a QUICK WIN, FOCUS on your mission and NOT on your obligations, get UNSTUCK [by shifting your perspective], stay fat from NEGATIVITY [remember those naysayers], mind what you're saying to yourself [because that matters most] and tap your helpline. Dude, if you wanna be back to your horse, stay focused & DON'T look back at your past.📌

Life has no STOP Button

 Life has no STOP Button

If there's something that sets apart our lives from basketball, boxing and athletics, the latter will offer you a timeout, a half-time break and even in boxing, round-breaks every three minutes.  Not in life though.  Once you get out into the rat race we are all in, life becomes a non-stop grind that will ground to a halt only if either you reach the pinnacle of life or you hit rock bottom that's beyond resuscitation.

Andre Gide, the French Nobel Prize winner in Literature once said: 'Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.  Justin Bryant articulates it well enough @ https://selfmadesuccess.com/man-cannot-discover-new-oceans-andre-gide-2/.  Oh, this hits us hard because it accentuates that human fear from getting out of his comfort zone.  At the Forbes piece @ https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/02/05/six-fundamental-human-needs-we-need-to-meet-to-live-our-best-lives/?sh=7b67185344a0, psychologist Abraham Maslow defines the hierarchy of human needs.  But over time, life's basic needs evolved.  

Thing is, there has to be a goal post, a timeline, a deadline.  Unless you set a marker on that target destination, very likely you will fall short of your goals.  Not because you're incompetent but more likely because you are that human stereotype who would slacken when things are slackened.  And Charles Trivett went further @ https://www.coburgbanks.co.uk/blog/candidate-tips/11-habits-to-become-successful/ where he rattles off what it takes to be successful.  

Now, try scouring from East to West, tap on the expertise of Life Coaches and most of them will sing the same tune, i.e. you gotta do all these and that.  But have you heard of someone counselling us with a long list of DON'Ts ?  Take it from Zdravka Cvijetic @ https://www.cnbc.com/2016/12/30/13-things-you-should-give-up-if-you-want-to-be-successful.html and it's a long 'GIVE UP' list that includes giving up unhealthy lifestyle, give up short-term mindset, give up playing small, give up excuses, give up 'fixed mindset', give up on that 'magic bullet', give up perfectionism and give up on saying YES to things that are not aligned to your goals.  Let's bring it on, dude.📌📌📌

Life is NOT a Checkers Game

Life is NOT a Checkers Game

Checkers anyone ?  Sure as long as you don't take things seriously because a plurality of us end up lost in the maze, thinking that our life is a checkers game. No senor.  Ours is a game of chess.  Right from Day-1 till to date, surely you would agree that life is unfolding everyday not in a straight line, not even in a black or white scenario.  Obviously, when we finally hear the newborn baby's first cry, life looks as simple as checkers.  But that's about it.  After the first move, after Day-1, life can never be simpler from thereon.

Take it from the great American legendary hero, the late Kobe Bryant.  To quote him: 'these young guys are playing checkers.  I'm out there playing chess'.  That's a mouthful.  Let's picture things out.  Before a chess match starts, the chess board is so neat and orderly.  And that's a replica of life when you hear the newborn baby's first cry.  But that's about it.  At the first move, things will spiral.

As in chess, real life needs a strategy to begin with.  Without that direction, you're akin to a rudderless boat out there in the high seas, at the mercy of the furious and merciless waves.  Back to the chess board, after both players make just the first move, presto, 400 possible scenarios will arise.  After the second pair of turns, the possibilities suddenly sprout to 197,742 probabilities and after the 3rd move, open your eyes, there will be 121 million options.

Take it from Israel Horowitz, the American International Master who was more famous for his chess books.  As in life, he says: 'One bad move nullifies forty good ones'.  Exactly, that's how our life spins and shapes up or shakes out.  You could have taken all the right moves and made all the right decisions the past 30 days but when you woke up today, you made one harrowing decision.  That moots and negates everything you did correctly the past 30 days.  Worst, that may wreak havoc than expected.

As in chess, NEVER as in NEVER announce your moves before you make them.  Doing so will telegraph your moves.  Before you know it, you are the 'talk of the town' amongst that platoon of kibitzers out there, scratching their heads while waiting for any next moves people around will take.  Don't look farther.  Look up at Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates [and even the revered late Steve Jobs].  No one had an inkling of what they were brewing in the confines of their 'war room' until, kaboom, they would launch another earth-shaking product or commercial initiative unthinkable before.

And definitely we humans, we commit mistakes, we will own this faux pas and that.  And that's fine but as in the chessboard, when you did fall, figure out where and how you slipped because before that fall, you did slip.  And unless you fell off from a ravine or cliff, most of our falls are precipitated by a skid.  So, you gotta figure it out.  From Malaysia's Star Online @https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/health/2019/08/08/life-lessons-from-playing-chess, it says that we need to be creative in chess to create the headway or beach head that will lead us to an opportunity.  In life, to be creative is a MUST-DO.

Word of caution.  As in chess, don't take care of your ego.  Make the move that's rightful even if you need to move backwards by a couple of steps if that leads you to move forward thereafter.  As in chess, in life you gotta be strategic but if you gotta be tactical, take it, do it.  Swallow that dose of pill even if it's hard to swallow.  If taking a step backward softens the impact of your previous wrong move, then you'll be fine.

Thing is, never get scared to make a wrong move.  Committing the wrong moves makes you better prepared the next time around. And listen to this old cliche:  when a door closes, it could lead you to a window of opportunity.  So, DON'T be so hard on yourself.  You will be stronger, more circumspect the next time around.  Lastly, DON'T look back at that hard fall that cause your bruises.  MOVE on, MOVE forward.  You DON'T have to be at the level of Chess World Champion Magnus Carlsen or Filipino-American Super Grandmaster Wesley So.  Learn your lessons, that's all it takes.  📌📌📌

Ebbs and Flows in Life

 Ebbs and Flows in Life

Ebbs and Flows in life is always part of the equation.  And if you're not managing it the way it has to be, so sorry, your life could end up in shambles.  What's the logic of going from the frying pan into the fire if you think it will be a fool's errand to take that path ?  Too bad many of us would look at the other direction when we hit a snag.  In that touching blog by Stephanie Hill @ https://www.herald-dispatch.com/life-like-the-ocean-ebbs-and-flows/article_b393b339-5db8-5331-9b4d-1c08e24d9637.html, the message is crystal clear.  Ebbs and flows.  Inhale and exhale.  Sunrise and sunset.  These are inseparable twins in our lives.  

After all, life is a journey but be mindful that life is a trap game as well.  Unless you wiggle yourself out in a trap game, you could end up 'dead in the waters'.  Our relationships is never far from the picture though.  Joyce Marter reinforces that in her blog @ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-go-with-the-ebb-an_b_4498141 wherein she states that 'like rock formations, seashells and sand are weathered and polished by the ocean waves as we are shaped and smoothed by the forces of our relationships.  When Covid-19 came into the picture, it threw a monkey wrench in our lives. Lurking around for a one-word solution to our ebb and flow, eureka, I found it.  In Kathy Caprino's piece @ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/06/15/10-ways-to-brave-up-how-to-rise-up-speak-up-and-stand-up-boldly-for-yourself/?sh=799d091b1093, being 'brave' is what matters.    

Of course, our worst fear ever has always been hitting rock bottom  BUT do we agree that hitting rock bottom is 
the best ever thing that can ever happen to us ?  In that piece of Lyndelle Palmer Clarke @ https://dailygreatness.co/blogs/be-your-own-guru/52291205-12-reasons-why-hitting-rock-bottom-is-the-best-thing-that-can-ever-happen-to-you, she rattles off twelve reasons why, namely:  you gotta REFLECT, see your dysfunctional behavior, gain a fresh perspective, self awareness of bad habits, trusting in life, humility, compassion, letting go, taking responsibility, realizing that the only way is UP, trusting yourself and gratitude.

And if I may add, never belittle how MOTIVATION can bring you that far in life.  Wesley So, the Filipino-American chess prodigy will always be my prime example of someone who went through the worst ebbs and flows and as of today, he is near atop the summit he has been trekking.  Twelve years ago, no less than his immediate family left him alone as they migrated to Canada.  A young teen struggling in life and left to fend for himself is just unthinkable but Wesley went through that wringer.  Two years later, that opportunity of expanding his chess skills at the global level was too good to refuse when he was offered that academic scholarship at Webster U and who would think that for the last ten years, he has 

been consistently part of the Top 10 super grandmasters and the past months, he has been smothering Magnus Carlsen, the reigning world champion, over and over again.  After winning last week's latest tournament by smothering [again] Magnus Carlsen, he was interviewed by ChessBase India and was asked, how does he motivate himself ?  And surprisingly, Wesley admitted that when he got tormented by his life's ebbs and flows, Wesley admitted that it's those 'downtimes' which motivated him through the years.  And if we don't believe in Divine Intervention, who can expect an American family [of American-Filipina Lotis Key] literally embracing Wesley into their fold as a family member with all the support structure he deserves as an elite chess super grandmaster.  This piece is indeed touching.  https://news.abs-cbn.com/ancx/drive/sports/12/09/20/wesley-so-in-the-eyes-of-lotis-key. If at all, this is no less than a MIRACLE REBOUND in Wesley's life.  Hoping that this should be an inspiration for us all, especially for those going through life's ebbs and flows. Sunrise will always follow suit the latest sunset. 🎀

'LOST & FOUND' is Not Applicable with 'LOST TIME'

 'LOST & FOUND' is Not Applicable with 'LOST TIME'

Lost and Found Counters are everywhere.  Good Samaritans are still aplenty.  You would hear a foreign tourist losing his passport and belongings only to recover it when the taxi driver traces him back.  And social media has become a very helpful platform for all lost items EXCEPT 'time'.  To quote Benjamin Franklin, one of America's Founding Fathers, 'LOST TIME IS NEVER FOUND AGAIN'.  Supposedly, that is the end of the story but not for the stubborn folks.  They will retort that there is a 'tomorrow'.  That what was not done today can be done tomorrow. !@#$%?  Sadly, that is a fallacy we don't want to waste our time.  It's just NOT worth it.  Let's just call spade a spade.  LOST TIME is LOST TIME, end of story.

Oh, we all have watched before that top box-office hit series 'The Twilight Saga' bannered by Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.  Most of the time, its cinematography offered us the gloom of twilight.   And this is where the analogy comes in.  When you got LOST TIME. think about the gloom brought about by your LOST TIME because that equates to LOST OPPORTUNITY. Even for someone defensive who'll argue that he's got nothing to do today, that's just CRAP !

When this pandemic broke out a year ago, we all sighed in unison, thinking [falsely and wrongly] that working from home is a welcome relief, thinking that time is now within our palm, so easy and quick to randomly tweak and balance it out.  A year after, we're all scratching our heads because task overflows have become the norm of the day, missed tasks have become the norm than the exception, reset and rescheduled deadlines kept on being pushed till it reaches the edges of the cliff and ravines.  And before you know it, we're screaming that working from home is 'stressful'.  Whew !  Are we now about to blame this pandemic ?  And this 'blame game' points fingers to Covid-19 Wave 1, Wave 2.  God knows, maybe until Wave 99 ?  Whew !  Phew !

Do you need a shot in the arm ?  Take it from Courtney Connley in her piece @ https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/31/4-ways-to-be-productive-and-avoid-distractions-when-working-from-home.html where she succinctly lays down the four antidotes to 'uptick your productivity and avoid the distractions when working from home.

Let's get down to brass knuckles.  Whatever is your calling, regardless if you're a student, a working professional or a homemaker, it's all productivity that matters.  And if our production window is eight hours, be focused on that 8-hour window [and DON'T breach it, unless a major snafu warrants it].  And if you were productive yesterday, challenge yourself:  DID I EFFICIENTLY UTILIZE MY TIME ?  CAN I FURTHER OPTIMIZE IT FOR EFFICIENCY ?

The late Former U.S. President Dwigh Eisenhower was Gallup's most admired man of the year for 12 times.  Addressing the Century Association in 1961: 'Who can define.. the difference between the long and short term.. we are almost compelled to give our attention to the URGENT PRESENT rather than the IMPORTANT FUTURE'.  By the time he ended his term, his accomplishments were just one too many to create so much impact not just to the U.S. but to the world, where the U.S. was the revered and undisputed global leader.  

Three decades after Eisenhower's term, Stephen Covey, the noted American educator  whose most popular book is 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People', he crafted Eisenhower's insights into a simple tool to prioritize tasks now known as the Eisenhower Matrix.  This framework guides us to 'eliminate time-wasters' in our life and create that more mental space to further progress in our goals. Vanessa Loder shares her tips how can we combat procrastination  @https://www.forbes.com/sites/vanessaloder/2016/04/15/10-scientifically-proven-tips-for-beating-procrastination/?sh=30ae25a2296a.  From Princeton University's McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning @ https://mcgraw.princeton.edu/understanding-and-overcoming-procrastination, it dissects why many of us procrastinate and how can we overcome that.  Enough of all these dissecting pieces, let us not gloat and be self-approving if we have not hit rock bottom yet.  Who knows we're nearing rock bottom ?  In Latin, quando motus.  WHEN DO YOU MOVE ? 📌📌📌

There's Meat in the Bone, there's some fuel left [even in an empty tank]

There's Meat in the Bone, there's some fuel left [even in an empty tank]

What does the future hold for us if we keep buying in to that myth that there's no meat left on those bones, no fuel left in that empty tank? Hmmmp, if we continue to cling to that belief, i'm afraid, we'll end up expiring before we're really expired or bluntly, we might end up 'dying' even before we're really dead. Thousands and thousands of failed stories ended up that way 'coz we EASILY GAVE UP!

At work, there could be tell-tale signs that you're 'south-bound'.  Pictures tell us a thousand words and this frustrating pic tells it all.  There are indicators which could be manifesting all over our workplace and as a first step, it's up for us to recognize and acknowledge it.  Beyond that, you've gotta 'face the mirror' so to speak and DON'T the other way around in a cowardice act because that's self-defeating.  Face things head-on, there's no other way to run next.

Working remotely the past year during this pandemic is tormenting, to say the least, if you're desolate and all by yourself in your work-home environment.  That will be tough but c'mon, that thing is 'fixable'.  It's not something to cause you to raise the white flag without squeezing yourself high and dry as long as you believe that THERE'S MEAT ON THE BONES, FUEL IN THAT EMPTY TANK.

Been there, done that.  Yesireeee, I can attest, i've been through those moments in the past when I thought an empty tank means zero-fuel, when I [wrongly] thought bones are just bare bones.  But I was proven wrrrrrrong through all those times.  David Donaldson shares his insights 

@ https://www.smartcompany.com.au/business-advice/burnout-in-the-workplace-when-theres-nothing-left-in-the-tank/ and DON'T miss out his thoughts on those 6 biggest factors behind burnout. But we'll be better off if we can be more predictive than reactive.  A lot of [emotional and psychological] losses will be averted if we're quite privy with those tell-tale signs.  Just a random sample here:  Have you become cynical or critical at work ?  Do you feel lethargic even at start of day ?  Is your patience running out, whether with your colleagues or worst, with your clients ?  Time to shape up, dude.

If the best 'shot in the arm' is a CPR-like action, so be it, go for it, you need to rev up your life.  Take it from Kristine Aletha, her story shared @ https://www.kristinegalli.com/post/10-ways-revive-your-life is a very real-life eye-opener even on the surface.  To understand Kristine's predicament: 'In 2018, I came to a tipping point.  Something wasn't right.  I was burned out, frazzled, depleted and deeply unhappy.  On the outside, everything looked perfect but something was missing.  Something had to 
change but I didn't know what or how to change.  I had lost sight of who I was and what I wanted for my life.' But guess what, Kristine managed to turnaround.  HOW ?  In a nutshell, Kristine shares to us that 'Anything worth doing  in life requires you to push past your fear and take a risk.  FEAR and EXCITEMENT are two sides of the same coin.  YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.'📌📌📌
 

Measuring Our Strides

Measuring Our Strides 

Everyone of us do set goals, that's for sure.  Where most of us need to admit our shortfall is that innate fear for us to measure our strides, how far have we gone, how much progress have we achieved and how far are we in our journey to achieve that goal we have set. Unless we stop momentarily and take a pulse check of where we are, continuing to trudge on becomes a win-loss proposition because unless and until you know the 'real score' as to where you stand, you are losing by default in taking a checkpoint assessment of yourself.

Taking a 'true read' of your strides is just 'what the doctor always orders'.  For those cognizant of their strides, they tend to gloss much on it, sometimes misguiding one's self to believe that he has achieved so much and success is just around the corner, he just needs to go on 'auto pilot'.  Problem is, we tend to 'count the chicks even before they are hatched'.  Sometimes, we need to stomp and ask ourselves if do we deserve a bowl of bean soup at the cafeteria.  Swing over to the other side of the fences, sometimes we go through a spate of failures, and that's fine, that's a fact of life.  The pitfall is that it can hit hard our morale when our motivation skids down south.  By taking a pulse check, who knows, there's some meat left in the bone.  

In those times we stumble, what we need is that 'TRY AGAIN' prompt, that's all we need to egg us to take that shot, even if it's another longshot. Michael Mauboussin spelt it clearly in his Harvard Business Review piece @

https://hbr.org/2012/10/the-true-measures-of-success which he capsulizes by highlighting that "people's deep confidence in their judgments and abilities is often at odds with reality". 

Question is what metrics can we adopt to measure our lives ?  Clayton Christensen shares with us @ https://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life wherein Intel Chairman Andrew Grove asked him to fly over to Silicon Valley and share his model to his direct reports.  Lo and behold, he asked for 30 mins, he was given 10 mins to showcase his model.  Getting Grove's buy-in to his model was all it takes as long Christensen is able to map it to Intel.

The stumbling block has always been our failures and how to handle it.  Susan Tardanico says  it all @ https://www.forbes.com/sites/susantardanico/2012/09/27/five-ways-to-make-peace-with-failure/?sh=6efd27b03640 where she offered a 5-point 'Failure Strategy', i.e. 'Don't take it personal, take stock of things, stop dwelling on it, dump off that 

mindset where you always need other's approval and figure out a new point of view.  Do you want to hear how a big time winner blurted it all ?  Take it from Michael Jordan who said: 'I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.  I have lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the winning shot and I missed.  I failed over and over and over again in my life.  AND THAT IS WHY I SUCCEED".📌📌📌