What We Would Like To Do BUT DIDN'T

What We Would Like To Do BUT DIDN'T Do?

How often has this been happening in our life?  When was it when we would like TO DO BUT DIDN'T Do?  Let me bet.  That may have happened quite a few times [and maybe more] once you go back down memory lane.  The most silly situations I can attest to is hearing someone that he/she failed to do or pursue something because due to inclement weather.  Similarly, when the skies are gloomy, one will put off something.  In retrospect, you would see one end up scratching his/her head only for remorse and regret for wanting TO DO but failed TO DO.  For whatever reason, it's lamentable and regrettable.  

So, why exactly we fail TO DO what we want TO DO?  It all starts with PERSISTENCE.  More people fail TO DO what they want TO DO because either they are unsure of doing it, which could mean they do not have the knowledge or capability to do something.  Which BTW, that should NEVER be a show-stopper at all.  If you need to learn the rudiments to do something, then [pardon my words], move your butt and DON'T waste another minute.

BTW, do you maintain your own journal or diary in your daily life?  If so, it would be noteworthy to peruse your journal or diary but not BLANK PAGES because that is the worst thing if you cannot show yourself how and what you spent your time and what results have you outputted that are aligned with your goals.

SELF-DISCIPLINE kicks in as well.  If you spoil [and I'll call it 'WREAK'] yourself by HABITUALLY putting off for the next day and the next next day what you need to do today, you may be pouncing on that 'last nail on the coffin'.  SELF-DISCIPLINE being at the very core in life, if one's SELF-DISCIPLINE is either decaying or worst, rotten, everything in you will [unfortunately] crumble down into pieces.

Another common culprit is having a fatalistic attitude.  Rather than we face the mirror and figure out our lapses and shortfalls, we would tend to blame things to fate.  Like shrugging our shoulders?  To add salt to open wounds, for our past mistakes, we tend to be just too forgiving to ourselves.  Which would have been fine not until our life starts to skid down towards that deep ravine.  When was it when we would like TO DO BUT DIDN'T Do❓❓❓

Washing Off That Stigma of FAILURE

Washing Off That Stigma of FAILURE

Washing Off that stigma of FAILURE should be one of the toughest things to do in life for us to rise up from and recover.  No one likes to FAIL and as in any competition, everyone love the WINNER and NOT the loser.  That stigma of having FAILED is one of the toughest nuts to ever crack.  Not because of the stigma itself but more so because rising from a FAILURE is akin to 'RESURRECTING FROM THE DEAD'. 

And what's the near-proven formula?  It is RESETTING YOUR LIFE.  How do we translate that into action words?  If you just signed off your divorce papers in the U.S., maybe you want to move over to a far-flung state, e.g. if you're in the West Coast. why not go East Coast?   Or move to relocate to another country?  And if you're left with that conjugal property, don't look forward to your river f tears flooding your home during your low points.

True, you may have FAILED but here's the big BUT.  Remember you are NOT spent and finished.  It's never the END of the WORLD [unless/except it is exactly that you want to get into].  I myself, I've been battered and bruised [NOT literally though] many times in the past but with sheer and dogged determination, I brutally told myself this is NOT the end state I deserve.

Some of us may get into the mother of all worst problems in life.  Marriage failed.  Jobless.  Penniless.  And likely, devoid of any support structure.  Indeed, this is a rock-bottom scenario but again, this is NOT the END of the WORLD because life must go on.

Without over-simplifying things, whatever problems beset you now, DON'T look farther than that cone of ice cream the child drops on the floor because nothing should inhibit you from washing off that stigma of failure.  Bet you, that stigma can be cleansed with a combination of persistence and patience. Go for it💊💊💊

What's Your Standard?

What's Your Standard?

What's Your Standard?  Apologies for this sweeping interrogative statement as this could mean practically anything and everything in life but for today's piece, let us have a peek into our standards from a first-person standpoint.  How are we managing our life?  How's our ethics?  How's our self-discipline?  How's our self-motivation?  How's our sense of purpose?  How's our trek to achieve the goals we did set?

If in the very competitive Olympics, the standard is NLT [no less than] the GOLD medal, why can't we set a GOLD STANDARD in our life as well?  To set a GOLD STANDARD does not achieving all the glitz and glitter that's akin to GOLD but it is that optimal level that gives you the vantage point to achieve the goals you set because of your self-motivation that is in full-throttle.

Thing is, in any of our pursuits in life, if your pre-set goals at the level of a silver or bronze medal, is that something that will propel you  to lofty heights that can be within the realms of what GOLD Standard is all about.  Let's start from the time we step into university.  Way back, I made it a habit at the start of the academic term to scribble my TARGET GRADE for each subject.  When the academic term ends, I'd compare my TARGET versus ACTUAL

WHAT or WHO then is our worst enemy?  It's us, our very own selves, dude.  It's us who set the constraints and limits as to how far can we trek in life.  It's us who ends as the SAIL of the BOAT, dictating which direction of the compass will we take.  This picture is quite pathetic because the doctor seems helpless with his patient who, he thinks, is DEAD INSIDE.  And the dilemma is that to define what DEAD INSIDE is, is very relative vis-a-vis GOLD Standard i

So what's our FIX for us to go GOLD Standard? Take plunge once you put your mind and soul into it.  I was in that 'deep hole' [decades back] when I decided to leave my country and explore for greener pastures in a multi-cultural country whose multi-cultures I was least familiar with.  I remember on my very first Christmas in Singapore, I gifted my boss a Chardonnay wine and when I handed it over to him on Christmas Day, he was simply flabbergasted.  But at hindsight, I patted myself and murmured that this is my GOLD STANDARD📌📌📌
 

What Will Be Will Be

What Will Be Will Be

Oh, I'm getting nostalgic now when I started to reminisce my childhood years when my aunt would request my uncle to play the piano as she sings QUE SERA SERA.  Little did I had any inkling at all that one day, I''d write this piece to discuss What Will Be Will Be because literally this means QUE SERA SERA in Spanish.

So where's the fuss here?  Let's traverse back in time.  How often you have seen people lament for failing on this and that?  Only to shrug off one's shoulder and retort "WHATEVER WILL BE WILL BE".  Ouch.  While we can be fatalistic, it does NOT mean that you will NOT lift a finger for you to carry on and see things through with your set goal.  What explains why the situation of some people just became damn too pathetic because they fail and fail and fail over and over again and if you eff them to do a post-mortem, they'll retort that this is their fate.

One can get unleashed and run across the wide open fields in the countryside but the best things in are NOT for one's picking up in the wide open fields.  Problem is, some of those who get 'off tracked' have a slanted view of things.  Couple that up with a convoluted understanding of the multifarious variables in life's equation.

Fact check:  IF YOU ARE FATED TO FAIL, SHOULD YOU GIVE UP, UP FRONT BECAUSE OF THAT PERCEIVED FATE?  So sorry but this is all wrong, all off-track.  Everything is left at our very own hands, right in our face.  It's for us to DO things or just lose things in default.  A consistent combination of blood, sweat and tears is what will get you through.

Whether you eventually take the left, center or right direction, it's immaterial but what matters most is that you remain damn focused with your goal which you can only achieve with that razor-sharp steadfastness to achieve what you aim for.  And if you fail?  Go pick up the pieces and continue from where you got stalled.  Only then WHAT WILL BE WILL BE📌📌📌

One Swallow Does NOT Make A Summer

One Swallow Does NOT Make A Summer

One Swallow Does NOT Make A Summer, is that true or is it a fallacy?  Very true indeed but we're not about to spend time talking about birds but instead, let's swing over to our daily lives and look back how often have we seen people not just admonished and chided but instead castigated and to borrow a Christian term, 'crucified' simply because one has erred.  Sadly, I've witnessed this recurring dilemma a zillion times.

If you are avid footfall fan, in the ongoing FIFA World Cup, Spain was doing wonders not until they got unceremoniously kicked out from the Top-16 with that loss to Morocco.  What happened next is anybody's guess.  Spain's Coach Luis Enrique was immediately fired, solely because of that solitary loss to Morocco.  And while we know that taking an exit at the hands of lowly Morocco was indeed a shock, where else did Coach Luis Enrique go wrong?

Now, this brings me back to the swallow because if this is the twisted logic we will embrace in life, I'll have the phobia to commit even a single mistake in any of my undertakings.  But is that fair and just?  Were we all born to be more than just become humans but super humans instead?  If we recently got married with our partner/spouse, then arguments happen here and there, will we run right away to file for divorce in the local court?  Or for Muslims, will we simply send a 'TALAK' via social media?

Think about it, isn't it that premature and overhasty?  Why do decisions need to be unfairly rash?  

WHY can't we give newly-minted couples that fair chance to know each other deeply and until such time when they know each other like the 'palm of their hands' will they come to terms by calling a spade a spade?  BTW, even the hardened criminals are given a reprieve by the courts and they are even granted a furlough and when they're deserving, they end up being on parole.  Why can't our life replicate those FAIR PRACTICES?

Without being lenient in life, why can't we be magnanimous and humane by giving those who err or offend us at least a reprieve, that chance to right the wrong, akin to the way most of the doting parents will treat their children?  Even at work or in business, me thinks it's unfair to drop the axe on the first infraction.  Whether you are a Christian or a devout Muslim, we got to accept the fact that ONE SWALLOW DOES NOT MAKE A SUMMER📕📘📗

Why Did You DO What You DID ?

Why Did You DO What You DID ?

Why Did You DO What You DID ?  But hey. isn't this one of the most ordinary things in our daily life NOT worth talking about?  But hey, let me pose this question:  ARE YOU FULLY AWARE WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID [whether that was yesterday, a month ago, a year ago or a decade ago] ?

Truth is, approximately 20% of all the things we've done, we're not 100% sure WHY WE DID WHAT WE DID.  Most of us can easily retort back by being defensive by blurting 'OF COURSE I KNEW WHY I DID WHAT I DID'.  Really?  C'mon, philosophically, of course we can defend ourselves that we're cocksure of every single thing we did be.  But let me play devil's advocate.  When you were doing things by IMPULSE, those deeds were more IMPULSIVE more than anything else.

Even when you were spending time with your BFF's, not everything that's done is logical or rational enough.  IMPULSE comes into play.  And when it surfaces, logical and rational gets [unknowingly] thrown out of the window.  Why?  Those are moments when even REASON gets thrown out of the equation.  Why?  It's all because of the circumstances.

Now let's throw another variable in the equation, that EMOTIONAL component.  Who can affirm and take an oath that all his past deeds which arose from an emotional outburst or emotional moment were deeds that arose from logic and rationale?  I myself, I lost control quite several times in the past, no thanks to the emotional piece of our equation.

That's the thing.  When our emotions do take over our own self, sanity gets thrown out of the window.  Reason becomes nothing but just lip service.  Once our emotions lord it over, we can be akin to our very own heart which can OPEN or CLOSE at the spur of the moment.  How do we counter all these?  Be mindful to know WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID📌📌📌

Life Is Like A 'ROUNDABOUT'

Life Is Like A 'ROUNDABOUT'

Life Is Like A 'ROUNDABOUT'.  If you DON'T go with the flow, you will [likely] get LOST.  Quick sharing.  Seven months ago, I drove and visited my hometown after twenty two [22] years.  By the time we finally reached the city proper [and it was dark by then around 7pm, I found myself in a roundabout where there was bumper-to-bumper traffic.  And I realized by then that I was 'LOST' with the directions because I admitted to my family that I didn't know the way to go anymore [ooops, I didn't launch WAZE because I never expected to get lost in the maze of my very own hometown.  In the end, I pulled by the roadside, lowered my windows and asked some passers by for the correct way to go.

So, that's it, I had to go with the flow.  Can't chart my own way, so I had to tap the helpline.  In our daily life, the road we travel is not just a straight line or at least similar to the inter-state highways in the U.S.  Life has more twists and turns and we all know, after all those twists and turns, God knows if we remained unscathed,  bruised or badly battered.  Either way, this is a given in life which we all should accept because there's no way to avoid the ROUNDABOUTs.

So, how do we handle the roundabouts in our life?  First off, besides being the driver seated behind the steering wheel, you got to be the navigator as well because life is more than just driving 

Instead, life is a daily grind of navigating thru NOT just through the ZIGs and ZAGs but more importantly, navigating along those ROUNDABOUTs where sometimes there are even NO signages to guide you.  How many times in our life did we get LOST in the midst of the ROUNDABOUTs?  By analogy in life, these are the instances when we are faced with two or more options/choices wherein each did NOT offer a clear advantage over the other.

So, the fix here is to identify the direction [in life] where we'll be either 'better off' or where we WON'T get off-track. The worst thing to happen is getting off-tracked as that could be akin purgatory, where you're neither here nor there, which you would lament.  So, this is no rocket science.  Let's remain mindful that Life is indeed a ROUNDABOUT, not by choice though📙📗📘

Treading Uncharted Waters

Treading Uncharted Waters

Who has not been treading uncharted waters, at least in the past?  Me thinks, everyone of us did tread uncharted waters at some points in our life.  I'll admit I did tread uncharted waters countless times in the past.  In a bit, let's align and agree as to what should we all define 'uncharted waters' so that we DON'T end up with diverse interpretations of today's piece💊💊💊

This recent global pandemic could be the best classic example of uncharted waters the whole global village just went through [till now].  Thing is, all of us collectively confront a sea of difficulties and charged with navigating unchartered waters.  And let's admit it, till today as we speak now, these are uncertain times.  Unfortunately, by nature, we are ill-suited to uncertainty.

Much as we are gifted with imagination, we sometimes tend to project the future and analyze possible scenarios.  Scenario planning does help us prepare for contingencies.  Unfortunately though, our imaginations can also paralyze us with panic.  Heard of 'ANALYSIS PARALYSIS'?  When some of us get caught up and hostaged by the cycles of analysis till we realize that decisions are 'hanging up in the air', no thanks to ANALYSIS PARALYSIS?

Much as we have our immediate families at home and our work colleagues at the workplace, most of the time we are ALONE.  As such, we need to control our minds and NOT let them run rampant into 'dark places' that end up freaking us out.  The mind can be like a SPIDER that, if we allow it, it will spin webs and twist everything together into a confused mass. 

We then end up blaming the 'caught up' things for the web we created where we want to be free of.  Bluntly, we tend to 'kill the things we love' only to sing about our grief.  Hey dude, the time for smug cynicism has passed.  The situation we are in may be unique but the ways to deal with it are as ancient as it is.  Bottom line is, let's brace ourselves treading uncharted waters because that's part and parcel of our lives📗📘📙 

Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel

Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel

No sirrrrs, today's piece is NOT a FUN' one but instead, we'd like to touch whenever we're Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel because that's something frequently missed out and overlook in our daily lives not because it does NOT happen but simply because we're so overwhelmed with all the challenges we face when in reality, we're Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel

In reality, though, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel maybe more times than we ever thought.  what could explain why the awareness is at a very low level, if at all?  Truth is, when we're seemingly scraping the barrel, it is not triggered by one single event.  Scraping the barrel is a CONFLUENCE of EVENTS because of the multifarious triggers.

WHEN you keep getting low grades in school despite all the efforts you have been pouring.  WHEN almost everyday, arguments with your spouse/partner are happening and as the days pass, things seem to turn from BAD to WORSE.  WHEN at work, you have been guilty of one fumbling act after another.  WHEN you have been manifesting various symptoms, all leading to your failing health.  WHEN your business P&L is very much 'in the RED', with your business burdened by mounting debts from various debtors.  All these are tell-tale signs that manifest that very likely you're scraping the bottom of the  barrel.

Problem is, when we are so overwhelmed and buried by the avalanche of problems that seem to turn from BAD to WORSE, we fail to realize that we're scraping the Bottom of the barrel and the common culprit for this circumstance is that we refuse to see and accept reality.  Even when things are exploding right in our face, we tend to downplay it and instead, we seem to be patting our backs with comforting words like "NO WORRIES, YOU'LL BE FINE", whew.

So what's our FIX for this conundrum?  FACE the music.  FACE the problem.  NEVER avoid reality.  And worse, never let those problems linger around you because we can guarantee that those problems will NEVER die a natural death, they just WON'T go away.  NOT UNTIL you fix it.  NOT UNTIL you resolve it.  NOT UNTIL you close it out.  Let's just throw out in the window that scraping the bottom of the barrel📌📌📌

Does The END Justify The MEANS?

Does The END Justify The MEANS?

Does The END Justify The MEANS? Of course, the answer is both a YES and a NO because neither answer is incorrect based on the circumstances that abound for the given moment.  But blurred pictures just became murkier, no thanks to us who tend to take things on a 'stretch'.  We tend to stretch it out with extreme interpretations simply to straighten what seems a crooked understanding of things.  Sometimes we [and I'm guilty of this in the past], we tend to bend things [unfairly] to our favor.

The thing is, the answer to the question Does The END Justify The MEANS depends on what the ends or goals are and what means are being used to achieve them.  If the goals are good and noble, and the means we use to achieve them are also good and noble, then YES, the ends justify the means.  But that's not what most people mean when they cling and succumb to this over-abused mantra.  Most of us tend to use it as an EXCUSE to achieve one's goals through any means necessary, no matter how IMMORAL, ILLEGAL or ILLEGITIMATE the mans may be⏳⏳⏳

Instead, this over-abused mantra seems to have been twisted to mean "IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU GET IT", whew.  The 'ENDS JUSTIFYING THE MEANS' usually involves doing something wrong to achieve a positive end and justifying the wrongdoing by pointing to a good outcome.  An example would be lying on a CV/Resume to 'window-dress' one's credentials to boost one's chances in aiming for a new job.

That convoluted rationale is justifying the LIE by implying that the bigger income in that new job he/she is aiming will enable the 'LIAR' to provide more adequately for his/her family.  Another might be justifying the abortion of a baby to save the life of the mother.  Lying and taking an innocent life are both morally wrong but providing for one's family and saving the life of a woman are morally right📌📌📌

Where, then, does one draw the line?  The END/MEANS dilemma is a common scenario in our daily lives.  Usually the question goes like this:  IF YOU COULD SAVE THE WORLD BY KILLING SOMEONE, WOULD YOU DO IT?  If the answer is YES, then a morally right outcome justifies the use of IMMORAL means to achieve it.  But there are different things to consider, the MORALITY of the action, the MORALITY of the outcome and the MORALITY of the person performing that action.  Think along those lines before blindly subscribing that the ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS📙📘📗