Consequences of Choices

Consequences of Choices

My apologies for the mix-up of this poster.  No sirrrrs, CHOICES and CONSEQUENCES are not at par.  One is NOT the alternative of the other but instead, they go hand in hand because CONSEQUENCES happen as a result of CHOICES we make and decide.And obviously, there's one more variable in the equation.  There are consequence as well even if you end up defaulting from making a choice.

Choices are akin to the coin.  There are simply two sides in it.  You might argue, that more often there are more than just two choices [and that's correct] but regardless if there are two or ten choices, all of those choice options will have to be tagged as either the correct or wrong one, the good choice versus the bad.  There is NO 'MIDDLE of the ROAD' even if you decide to default from making a choice.

Who says that most of our choices in life are that petty or minor, such that we should NOT spend so much efforts before deciding on the choice ?  We gotta accept this fact that all our choices, both the petty and minor ones plus the big-time ones, they are all part of our MENU of OUR LIFE.  Whatever circumstances we are in now, whatever situation we're now locked in, it's all because of the choices we made along the way.

One most common pitfall I've witnessed over and over again.  Many of us are so analytical to the extent that our chronic analytical loops are pushing us into the ANALYSIS PARALYSIS conundrum.  And this is not just pitiful but it's really dreadful.  WHY ?  I have seen lives that are now NOT JUST STALLED but really wasted because the person was caught up by all these ANALYSIS PARALYSIS.

Heard of folks getting beaten black and blue either in the slums of Mumbai or the ghetto neighborhoods of New York ?  Question.  Why were they beaten BLACK and BLUE ?  Simple answer.  It's because they decided to venture and go there, probably even traversing the dark and narrow alleys [either in the New York ghetto neighborhoods or in Mumbai].  Had those victims not choosen and decided to venture in those locations, what's the probability that they would have ended up in the same fate.  Likely, close to ZERO probability.  In a nutshell, LIFE is WHAT YOU MAKE IT, folks.❗❗❗

Why Mornings are [damn] TOUGH ?

Why Mornings are [damn] TOUGH ?

Happy Sunday !  Oh no, this could a boring topic for you.  Hope not.  Talking about mornings, how TOUGH they can be [regardless of age brackets].  Hmmmm, sorry, I'm not implying that this gif cover is a spoiled brat.  In fact, what we see now is a typical l'il girl going through the motions similar to us adults.  The difference is that these kids are that innocent yet for us adults, there's just NO WAY OUT.

Indeed, this ordeal plagues more adults than kids [TO BE HONEST].  Just look around your household.  Ooooops, no need to look farther.  Let's face the mirror and stare at ourselves.  Aren't we more guilty than anyone else ?  Why do we need to struggle every morning ?  Oh, we have tons and tons of reasons [a.k.a. ALIBIs and EXCUSES].  Oh, I had a bad quality sleep last night.  Because it was stuffy.  Because the aircon seems not cold enough.  Because the neighborhood dogs kept barking.  Because the heavy downpour was so noisy, I was worried of roof leaks, etc.

And BTW, this time around, we can't point our fingers at alarm clocks.  Got tons of it, with all the functionalities smartphones can offer.  In fact, FRANKLY, just to set the alarm clock, we wantonly spend so much time setting it up.  Oh WHAT TIME should I set.  How about the ringtone ?  And the volume ? Ooops, should it be at my bedside ? Or atop my headboard ?  Jeeez.

Yes but of course, we need coffee.  That's a non-issue but what next ?  Damn it, quite simple.  When the alarm clock goes off, COUNT 5-4-3-2-1 to overcome that coziness from your sleep.  Wake up at the SAME TIME everyday.  Develop that DISCIPLINE.  Everyone does have problem with time BUT REMEMBER, the day has just 24 hours.  From the remaining 16-18 hours, you gotta LEARN SOMETHING NEW.  May not be a new skill.  Could be enhancing your KNOWLEDGE BASE.  Could be dissecting this pestering pandemic [instead of shying off from everything about it [because I do admit, we're getting an overdose of it]].

Thing is, SET A GOAL [that's NON-NEGOTIABLE].  What makes us dull, lethargic, listless, sluggish ?  More likely it's because we didn't SET A GOAL for that day.  Many times my wife gets flabbergasted why I wake up damn early during Saturdays, much earlier than business weekdays.  SIMPLE.  I set a goal for the next day [latest before I hit the sack the previous night].  And my goal is crystal clear enough, e.g. I must be at the Citibank premises before 0800am for onsite transactions. Which means, I gotta be driving by 0700am.  Which means, I should be on my fee by 630am.  Which means, my alarm should go off by 0600am.  Presto !  More often, my time-table happens as how I plotted it.  Back to our wake-up woes.  Look deeper for your morning struggles.  Are you wrestling with the same flashpoints day-in and day-out or are they one-off instances [e.g. you just came back from a long-haul travel] ?  Whatever it is, give this a serious thought.  You DON'T want your self-discipline to go from BAD to WORSE, right ?  Shape up please, if you don't mind❗❗❗

The Realm of Possibility

 The Realm of Possibility

The realm of possibility, did we ever give it a serious thought, if at all ?  Unfortunately, I think most of us [and I'm guilty of that in the past] never gave it a serious thought.  Why ?  It's likely because most of us tend to 'LIVE IN THE MOMENT' which by itself is laudable but the pitfall is, we tend to savor those moments way long after the "PARTY'S OVER".  

Why then do we get stuck 'LIVING IN THE MOMENT' ?  Maybe, because we take that as our COMFORT ZONE.  Maybe, because we FEAR the UNKNOWN even vaguely Maybe, because we thought that TOMORROW WILL NEVER COME.  Or worst, we tend to tag anything that's unknown or unfamiliar grounds to us as within the REALM of the IMPOSSIBLE.  And indeed, that seems to be the most common storyline we hear or read over and over again, be it in our lives or the personal lives of people known to us.  How often do we hear pessimists and naysayers retort, "OH NO, THAT'S NOT MY CUP of TEA".  Or... "I'M JUST NOT INTO IT".

Instead, why can't we dodge that fear within us, that FEAR of FAILURE, that FEAR of the UNKNOWN ?  Can't we keep our head when everyone around is losing theirs ?  The thing is, all of us have seen an inkling of our destiny but we dare not to listen but instead, simply we're more prone to ignore it. 

Frankly, why don't we 'LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY'.  Once we STOP DREAMING, that leads us to 'GIVE UP ON OUR VOLCANO' after all our compounded mistakes, disappointments and failures in life.  Before we know it, we tend to prematurely 'THROW IN THE TOWEL'.  At that point, do we realize something ?  That by that singular act of self-abandonment, we end up SELLING OUT on our TRUE POTENTIAL, feeling we're not that good enough, not wanting to make mistakes.  Once you unconsciously work against yourself to make sure you don't get it, you begin to sabotage your own potential.  So, why don't you turn around , take the best shot and 'LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY'.

And now if there's a magic word, it is "BELIEVE".

Once you believe in yourself, 'the IMPOSSIBLE BECOMES POSSIBLE' but this goes beyond words.  You gotta MATCH your WORDS with ACTION.  And that ACTION has to be very focused, very consistent and persistent when you stumble across rough patches.  BELIEVE ME, you won't lose anything going outside your COMFORT ZONE.  You WON'T lose trying something you haven't ventured in life.  You WON'T end up a loser for even trying and failing because each failure brings you one step closer to that elusive success you will eventually realize.❗❗❗

Do We Deserve a 'SLAP on the WRIST' [always] ?

Do We Deserve a 'SLAP on the WRIST' [always] ?

We all make mistakes.  Who does not anyway.  But the bigger question, as an aftermath, how do we deal with ourselves ?  Do we subject ourselves to lengthy and endless 'harangue' similar to the way we give the kids a 'tongue-lashing' ?  Probably yes [but me thinks, LIKELY NOT].  My speculative guess is that we simply give ourselves a SLAP on the WRIST for our mistakes !@#%?&

Bluntly, the best person to 'STRAIGHTEN' us up is our very own selves.  Not even your partner.  Not even your loved ones.  Not even your boss at work.  Problem is, most of the time, we simply avoid facing the mirror.  Had we had that intestinal fortitude to face the mirror and confront ourselves as to where and how did we go wrong, you would have been a better spouse/partner, a better work mate, a better colleague.  But how can we improve our lot if we are so damn 'SOFT' on ourselves ?

Not to be biased on cultures but everyone should be familiar as regards the discipline of Japanese.  If you're tracking local news from Japan, it may not come out as 'news' anymore when you come across suicides  amongst Japanese.  And I agree, it doesn't end up as 'news' anymore because it's more prevalent than in most other cultures.  But from a holistic view across longterm, do we envy how Japanese end up with more success stories than ourselves who [wrongly] feel that SLAP on the WRIST is the appropriate reprimand we deserve ?!@#$%

What do we do then once we slip up ?  Go fasting ?  Avoid bathing ?  Remain unshaven ?  Unfortunately, those are exact samples of SLAPS on the WRIST.  C'mon, why don't we look into the root cause of our issues ?  Take a self-check.  Do we have BAD HABITS that seem to be 'KILLING' your self-discipline ?  Yes folks, WHY DON'T WE ATTACK the ROOT CAUSE of all our travails ?

Why don't we step back and look at things from a monk's perspective where the 'GREATEST POWER' is to be self-controlled, where we are encouraged to focus on our mind and energy, undeterred by anything else in life.  As monks say, detachment is not that you owe nothing but rather detachment means nothing owns you so the greatest detachment is to be close to everything without them consuming YOU.  And when YOU realize this, YOU won't just be slapping your wrist in your next slip up.  Please do.✅✅✅

Bang For Your Buck

 Bang For Your Buck

Who doesn't appreciate $$$.  We all welcome $$$.  The huge divide surfaces in the manner we humans want to earn and receive those bucks.  Too bad, many of us want things the EASY WAY, earning $$$ with the least efforts and preferably with very minimal sacrifices, if at all.  There is that very huge disconnect between expectations of most of our population because most of us were shaped and wrongly influenced by the misguided notion that we are all entitled to DREAM BIG and EARN BIG even with minimal efforts, even when just coasting along.

Too bad many of us [even I myself in the past] thought that since you deserve to earn a plum, you can dictate the ounces of efforts to be exerted.  Too bad those days when there were dole-outs left and right are a thing of the past.  As we now exist in a world of meritocracy, we gotta EARN the HARD WAY.  Can't be the EASY WAY in a FAST LANE.  Who claims that since your academic marks are impressive, you deserve a high-paying job role soon ?  Who claims that in your workplace, you deserve to do a quantum leap and overtake the equally deserving tenured ones?

Even for school kids, allowances should not come as easy as 1-2-3.  Even these school kids gotta EARN the HARD WAY no less. Again, even in school, meritocracy should be in the core of it all.  Once our school kids [wrongly] perceive that $$$ can be theirs in that EASY WAY, things can go wayward.  If we pave the roads so damn smooth for the passers-by to walk through with all the comfort, they will [wrongly] think that they deserve that EASY WAY.

Heard of parenting stories wherein the new dad learned the hard way of replacing his baby's diapers ?  Thereafter, when he lifted his baby, he felt that SENSE of FULFILLMENT !  Heard of an office worker who was grinding damn hard at work, being the first to arrive and the last one to shutdown his machine.  When he got promoted, he felt that SENSE of FULFILLMENT !  

Today, INSTANTS are everywhere. INSTANT coffee.  INSTANT noodles.  INSTANT parties.  Ask for it, you will have it EXCEPT one thing.  EXCEPT SUCCESS.  CAN'T be an overnight thing.  CAN'T be a quick thing.  CAN'T be a one-off effort and voila !  Tears and sweat will have to be combined as you trudge your way towards that treacherous trek towards success.  Work your way up.  Sweat it up.  Please DON'T put all your EGGS of HOPE in those LOTTO stuff, those JACKPOT chances because those are one a million.  And if you do hit gold that easy, gold can drift away that easy as well.  TO BE FOREWARNED IS TO BE FOREARMED.✅✅✅

Get Back On Your HORSE [fast enough] !

Get Back On Your HORSE [fast enough] !

Everyone falls from the horse's saddle.  Who does not fall down anyway ?  In life, we fall multiple times, some of which are minor falls while some are 'HARD FALLS' and for the most unfortunate ones, sometimes that hard fall even becomes a fatal or tragic one.  But unless those falls are either fatal or tragic, what else is expected from us ?  Obviously, we gotta GET BACK ON OUR HORSE [fast enough].

Don't get me wrong, 'HARD FALLS' are not limited to failures.  In our cyclical lives, we could have heard of the difficult postpartum recoveries of moms.  So, while that is not comparable at all to real life failures, moms going through the challenges of postpartum would be clinging to family support structures and this is when our loved ones really play a singular role of uplifting them.

Falling down [even in a 'HARD FALL'], especially when you're perched from UP HIGH, is indeed a hard fall but a 'HARD FALL' is never the end of the world.  In school you might have gotten failing grades.  At work, you might have lost your job.  Or your relationship with your partner just ended so fast.  But however and whatever is the severity of your 'HARD FALL', it's never the time to raise the white flag because there always remains a GLIMMER of HOPE, no matter how faint those hopes are.

What's next after a 'HARD FALL' ?  Recovery follows and if you have to reboot things like powering on a laptop whose battery runs flat, so be it.  In truth and in fact, a REBOOT or a RESET is your best card of ace because just like when repowering your laptop, all the counters reset to zero.  There's just NOTHING to LOSE when you lost everything anyway.  BUT as long as you DON'T LOSE your will power to carry on and pick up the pieces.

True, you won't see happy faces around.  When you're down, you could end up with realizations.  A realization that not all friends are indeed genuine friends.  A realization that when you're down, there's hardly anyone you can cling on but yourself.  A realization that if you need to restart things all over again, you have to summon anything and everything that is left in you.

In fact, if you can downplay things, just do it.  Take that hard fall as just akin to slipping past banana peels.  And if you keep that 'banana peels' mindset, each time you fail or fall, you won't waste time being back on your feet again [although deep inside, you could still feel wobbly or weak].  But who else will boost you BUT YOU ❗❗❗

Keep 'THAT FIRE' Burning

Keep 'THAT FIRE' Burning

Who says we should PUT OUT THE FIRE ?  We're not referring to the bush fires and wild fires.  Instead, we're referring to that 'FIRE' in our lives which forever should KEEP BURNING.  Why ?  Because that FIRE KEEPS US GOING.  When that fire stops, it's not far fetch to claim that our life stops as well.  WHY ?  Now, if there's FAST TALK, we got a FAST CHECK.  How's your MOTIVATION ?  Is it going down ? How's your ENERGY ?  Do you feel it's getting drained ?  How's your INTENSITY?  Can you feel that it's waning 

These are tell-tale signs that your fire is not burning as it should be.

Now, if your answer for any of those questions is a resounding NO, those are the alarm bells that means you gotta take action NOW.  You need to 'arrest the skid', now that things are slowing down at your end.

Who wants to feel so DOWN ?  So DRAINED ?  So DEMOTIVATED ?  Thing is, NEVER WAIT to reach that point when you get drained or demotivated.  You should have taken action when things were slowing down.  Just like the running vehicles, things will become damn difficult when the vehicle gets stalled and its battery conks out.

So WHY do we need to KEEP THE FIRE BURNING ?  We need FUEL to BURN, AIR to SUPPLY OXYGEN, HEAT to START, FRICTION to IGNITE the ENGINE.  When THAT FIRE is waning, what do we do ? ASK ourselves, what and where are we passionate at ?  What are our STRENGTHS ?  What is/are our goals and how far are we to achieve, not that ultimate goal but at least a milestone ?  It's like aiming to save $1Mn [which could take forever].  So why not set milestone targets each time you reach $10k ?

How about our relationships ?  Are those sweet moments turning to boring ones ?  How about our work ?  Are day-to-day routines becoming boring ?  Whether it's our relationships or our work, GET OUT of that ROUTINE. Be creative.  Be inventive.  Ask yourself, what task can you perform at work such that it will make your day ?  It's NOT rocket science to KEEP THAT FIRE BURNING folks.❗❗❗

Know Where Your 'HIGH-WATER MARK' Is

Know Where Your 'HIGH-WATER MARK' Is

This is easy, finding your HIGH-WATER MARK.  How far can we go ?  What's our threshold ?  What's the farthest we can go.  So where's the beef here ?  Problem is, most of us tend to take it easy when HIGH-WATER MARK becomes our topic.  We paid much lip service to to HIGH-WATER MARK such that for most of us, it is a non-issue, not worth talking about at all. REALLY?

When do we get into the realization that HIGH-WATER MARK really matters ?  Likely, once we're courting danger, when we're finally staking with the risks of getting swamped, drowned or overwhelmed altogether.  Truth is, we should well know our HIGH-WATER MARK like the palm of our hands because our survival hinges on that awareness.  If we miss that out, we're done.

As we may not always be able to anticipate how things happen way too fast, our awareness of our HIGH-WATER MARK becomes damn critical.  Having a feel that our relationship with our loved ones is skidding.  OR our work relationship with our colleagues is going down south.  OR our business is faltering.

Looking back at the huge tsunamis that submerged not just the coastal areas but even its key cities like Sendai City.  What did Japan do to manage and contain the impact of those giant tsunamis ?  It's their full awareness of the HIGH-WATER MARK. That was the barometer of the residents so they didn't need last-minute sirens by the disaster civil forces.  

Looking back into our lives, it's really imperative for us to have a good grasp of our HIGH-WATER MARK because more often than not, whether we manage to swim over [or get drowned], the 'X' Factor is either our awareness [or non-awareness] of our HIGH-WATER MARK.  Let's look at a basic swimmer.  You WON'T swim and cross the English Channel, right ?  You WON'T dare to go at those diving sites, right ?

Lessons in life ?  EAT ONLY WHAT YOU CAN CHEW.  At work, ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE [but remember, you were NOT hired to be mediocre].  In business, you always initiate things as a startup and you DON'T want your business to balloon TOO FAST TOO SOON because you might stumble next before you know it.  LESSON:  Let's take stock of things.  NOT TOO FAST, dude✅✅✅

When it Becomes a Turning Point

When it Becomes a Turning Point

We all live in a fast lane.  The pace of life more often goes in a frenetic pace, beyond our capacity to be in cadence.  But that should NOT be an excuse.  It is imperative that we're in cadence every step along the way.  Imagine the ramifications if you are at least a step behind ?  A step behind means, inside out, that you'll be literally a step behind in any of your endeavors.  And when you're a step behind, you will end up no different from a snail or a slug, a loafer 'EATING THE DUST' if you're a 'CELLAR DWELLER'.

Gotta realize though that our life story is much akin to the typical 'story arc, it goes through the Ups and Downs and when we got a challenge at hand, that's when things begin to go uphill but it won't be that way forever because eventually, you would reach that turning point that tells you you're in that precipice of overcoming the hump.

To quote this poster: 'JUST LIKE THE OCEAN, LIFE IS A CONSTANT EBB AND FLOW'.  But note that when you're seeking the surface of the ocean, and even to the extent of appreciating its beauty, it won't be the same as diving into it.  And nothing can prepare you more in life than that experience of stepping into the ocean but this is slightly veering away from our piece today.  But as you continue go through the ebb and flow across those sheets of water, you need to recognize the TURNING POINT.  That separates the men from the boys.  That explains why surfers are surfers. They seem to rule the water but what's their open secret ?  It's recognizing the TURNING POINT.

If you seem to be lost in the maze of things, let's go back to our literature fundamentals.  The TURNING POINT is that climax or point in the story's plot where the narrative goes to its peak or climax.  The TURNING POINT are akin to the interstate highways with multiple exits for you to choose.  And that's when even the fastest drivers will have to slow down because they DON'T wanna miss out the correct interstate exit, else it will set back his driving by easily another 5 to 10 miles.  Back into our lives, why do we need to detect the TURNING POINT ?  It's because those are the points in life when and where we need to take and make crucial decisions that will bring us forward or not.

You might be tempted to challenge me now:  WHY are we making a fuss of the TURNING POINT ?  Simple.  We DON'T want to MISS THE BUS.  Missing the bus means lost opportunities or missed chances where we would have been in much better shape.  Lesson here:  be that sharp to detect the TURNING POINT❗❗❗

How's Your MENTAL CONDITIONING ?

How's Your MENTAL CONDITIONING ?

When i was a 'promdi' decades back, right from Day-1, I knew that if I had to SURVIVE LIFE in the city jungles, I had to grind hard enough.  And as an entry-level with hardly any credentials to boot, I'll admit that bordering that sense of desperation, I was job hunting [with NO FILTERING].  And one of the jobs I ended applying is a sales job where I vividly remember the trainor sharing about that barracuda experiment as part of out training then.

That barracuda experiment ran this way:  They put the barracuda into a big fish tank and that barracuda swam freely in the tank.  The scientist then put a glass panel in the middle of the tank, splitting the tank in half.  The barracuda was then at one side and on the other side, the scientists put in some small fish.  When the barracuda saw that helpless small fish, it kept on attempting to swim over, to prey on that small fish but it got blocked by that glass panel.  After countless times of failed attempts by the barracuda, it eventually gave up chasing that small fish.  By then, the  scientists removed the glass panel.  What happened next defies logic because both the barracuda and the small fish managed to co-exist without the barracuda ever attempting again to prey on that small fish.

Now this elephant story is much older than us all.  That's the story about the baby elephants and the rope wherein when the baby elephants are still small, thin ropes tied them up and during their infancy, they'll struggle and pull at first but eventually they realize that they just can't break the rope.  And they eventually gave up.  Even after those baby elephants grew fast in size to become lumbering giants.  Question is, did they attempt to break out again ?  Nope, never at all.  

Whether we delve on the barracuda story or about the elephant, what's shaping is this compelling and clear moral for us, that is, in life, all sorts of invisible mental ropes exists and even if those ropes are fragile and enough, likely they are holding us back.  By then, we reach on our own conclusions and make or cancel a decision based on those assumptions.  Eventually, we forget to revisit those decisions in the past.  Those SELF-IMPOSED BLOCKERS now become our WASTED OPPORTUNITIES.

What do we do now ?  If we gotta change our mantra in life, JUST DO IT if doing that matters the most now.  The roads where we're travelling are littered with those invisible barriers that even influence and impact our mental conditioning to the extent that more often, that mental conditioning become our SHOW-STOPPERS, unfortunately.  What better way to do than for us to dismantle those SELF-IMPOSED BLOCKERs folks.✅✅✅