The DIFFICULT Right Versus EASY Wrongs

The DIFFICULT Right Versus EASY Wrongs

We all live in a highly conflicted world.  There are always two sides of a coin, two sides of the vinyl record. two sides of the fence.  Fact is, much as we want consensus building, there can never be any consensus in every single decision point we want to reach.  There will always be two opposing forces whispering through your ears, each one persistent to win you over.

This explains why even in healthy discussions, we will always witness and see someone playing the "devil's advocate" role, which is very fine.  At the end of the day, there can't be an impasse or a deadlock because there has to be a victor and a vanquished as well.  When we are in RIGHT versus WRONG crossroads, the challenge is how to worm your way such that you end up making the RIGHT rather than the WRONG decision.  The bigger challenge is sifting through all the iota of information such that you will end up with the right decision.

But the biggest question that stomps us is this.  Why the hell we as humans, collectively end up with more WRONGS than RIGHTS ?  Simple.  It's because the WRONGS can be reached or done in an EASY and sometimes EFFORTLESS manner.  Whereas the RIGHT ?  You got to piece together all iota of information, validate it, separate the practical vs the impractical, the the ethical vs the unethical.  The RIGHT probably entails 10x the effort needed by the WRONGs.  Mind you, a lot of our WRONGS happened effortlessly, regrettably.

More often, we tend to lose our way simply because of those two letters that distinguish FACT versus FAKE.  This explains why sometimes [or rather often times], we take on the FAKE ones as FACTs.  And when we use those invalid facts a.k.a. FAKEs as the basis of our decisions in life, we will end up on the wrong side of things.  Why then it's easier for the WRONGs and difficult for the RIGHTS ?  Easy.  

Because you need to exert very little, if at all, effort to make a WRONG decision.  To make a RIGHT decision, it takes due diligence and tons and tons of effort to come up with the RIGHT decision.  And yet, there seems to be more WRONGs than RIGHTs in our lives.  What can explain that statistical improbability ?  It's that peer group pressure, that herd mentality.  If everyone is taking one path, it becomes a no-brainer for most of us.  To cap it all, I'd like to quote this colorful poster which says: "WRONG is WRONG, EVEN IF EVERYONE is DOING IT... whereas, RIGHT is RIGHT, EVEN IF NO ONE IS DOING IT".

DON'T be What You ARE NOT

DON'T be What You ARE NOT

It's just human we want to be nice but there's a caveat there.  You gotta be WHAT YOU ARE and not WHAT YOU ARE NOT.  If you wanna be nice yet you end up NOT as NOT WHAT YOU ARE, that is self-defeating and likely will boomerang back to you with its consequences and ramifications.  After all, TO BE NICE is NOT the 'BE ALL'.  That's not the end result but instead, it's how you genuinely and honestly handled a situation regardless if you will end up not being nice because we gotta call a spade a spade.

Now we have a problem.  What could be the tell tale signs that you are becoming NOT WHAT YOU ARE.  WHEN you're too familiar with the feeling of sadness.  WHEN you're always running out of time.  WHEN you have difficulty trusting people.  WHEN you have some issues even with yourself.  WHEN you always feel life is boring.  WHEN you feel remorseful or guilty as an afterthought.  

Oh, I like this PRETZEL quote from Karen Salmansohn, an American author with over two million books sold to date.  Karen says:  DON'T TWIST YOURSELF TO FIT INTO WHO YOU THINK PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BE - JUST TO MAKE THEM HAPPY - WHICH THEN MAKES YOUR SOUL ALL TWISTY-LIKE.  BE WHO YOU ARE.  ACCEPT & LOVE ALL YOUR QUIRKY ASPECTS.  MAKE YOUR SOUL HAPPY.  DON'T BE A PRETZEL.  BE YOUR WHOLE ENCHILADA.  Hmmm, very well said.  To capsulize, DON'T twist yourself to be WHAT YOU ARE NOT.

So how do we go about all these ?  To quote Oprah Winfrey, first things first, KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  Unless and until you can figure out your TRUE YOU, things will never move forward because everything takes off from you yourself.  Once you know four-square your REAL YOU, stick to it.  Few basic NO-NOs: firstly, DON'T be a FARCE.  Secondly, DON'T be part of a CHARADE.  Thirdly, DON'T manifest or express something that is not reflective of your genuine side  because that will create a domino-effect of misalignment, distortion and everything that becomes UNTRUE.  As this poster goes, JUST BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE and NOT WHAT OTHERS WANT TO SEE.

Exactly.  BE YOU, no less and no more than that.  And it's not for you to adjust.  Instead, it should be everyone around you who should adjust over to you.  End results may not come out as what we want but by being genuine and true.  Instead, things will surface out as not acceptable to others but by being your TRUE YOU, you will be saved from carrying on that burden of carrying and living a facade that is not your REAL YOU.  Unless you get this message loud and clear, I'm afraid you're not getting anywhere as you're not doing the right things.  You just gotta RIGHT the WRONG.✅✅✅

The ENEMY of GOOD is PERFECT

 The ENEMY of GOOD is PERFECT

Who needs enemies ?  No one I suppose.  Nevertheless, we have to admit that even 'GOOD' has an enemy and is named 'PERFECT'.  You might question why does 'GOOD' deserve an enemy when it is already that 'GOOD' ?  But in our very exacting world, 'GOOD is NEVER GOOD enough because of 'PERFECT'.

BTW, even if we bother ourselves about boiled eggs, the perfect boiled egg and the worst boiled egg could be a 'world apart'.  Which exactly dovetails with our lives.  If you are one to settle with what is GOOD, please rethink your position because that is the least desirable mindset these days.

                                                             

Now here comes the 'new normal' which is 'NEW PERFECT' so 'GOOD ENOUGH' has to make way.  Oh what a conundrum because surely there will be hard core a.k.a. 'stubborn' souls who will insist that ain't nothing wrong with GOOD as by itself you're 'GOOD ENOUGH'.  Oh c'mon folks.

Now let's turn this into a healthy debate.  Do we realize why there are tons and tons of failures in life ?  Too bad we do see the trees but not the forest.  Frankly, if there are just one too many failures, blame it on being 'GOOD' because while 'GOOD' itself isn't bad enough, it is too close to the precipice and portals of failure.  One slip, you will then go down the drain.

Now let's look up to those success stories.  What is it in them that made them capable to reach the zenith of their life's successes despite the steep slopes to climb ?  Simple answer:  they are NEVER SATISFIED with GOOD ENOUGH.  They gotta reach out for the sky even if they knew by heart that they won't reach that far anyway.  Now let's swing back into our lives.  Come next day, can we be MR PERFECT than simply MR GOOD ENOUGH ?⏳⏳⏳

You Are What You 'FEED YOUR MIND'

You Are What You 'FEED YOUR MIND'

The basics and fundamentals of information technology [I.T.] is never different from our own lives even when devoid and detached from technology.  INPUT--> PROCESS --> OUTPUT.  Do you see yourself oozing with all the POSITIVITY ?  Or do you see yourself veering on the NEGATIVITY ?  Or probably you just tend to be that INDIFFERENT, manifesting that "I DON'T CARE" indifference on what's going on around you.  Never blame anyone if you are either indifferent or that negative over and over again.

In today's connected world, there is just one too many content available you can binge-watch, listen to or read from tons and tons of either negative or positive sources.  Let's discuss the BASICs of our MIND.  Learning is INPUT and action is OUTPUT.  Things that get fed into your mind has that potential to create something out of it.  What we learn and listen from others are inputs into our mind.  Our mind then processes and makes sense of what we learned or listened.

This pattern is so common it is everywhere in life.  If the pattern is true, which it is, it raises our awareness that WHAT WE ALLOW TO ENTER OUR MIND CAN RESULT IN AN ACTION THAT WILL CREATE SOMETHING.  

So, what are we feeding our mind then each day? Are we feeding it with new things that open and expand your thinking ?  Are you feeding with positive thoughts ?  Are you feeding it with things that will make a difference in your life ?

Respected American Author Zig Ziglar can be best quoted: 'YOU HAVE TO FEED YOUR MIND DAILY WITH THE GOOD, CLEAN, PURE, POWERFUL and POSITIVE'.  That's it folks.  There are a few fundamental choices to make with what you allow in your mind.  You can feed your mind with NEGATIVE, NEURAL or POSITIVE things, each of which inputs something BAD, INDIFFERENT or GOOD.

Now i'll face the mirror and call a spade a spade.  The past years, I spent some of my time going through trolls and all the fake news in social media.  What did I end up with ?  I ended up so negative of the goings-on around me.  My shutters just went off.  But it's never late to rectify even oneself.

And changing horses at midstream is never late though.  TED TALKS is one of the best forums we can tap for positive inputs in life.  TED TALKS is a deep and huge reservoir of everything that can be positive inputs in our life.  And the best thing is that it's FREE [unless you need its premium services].  Even Youtube is not far different from TED TALKS.  Just last night, I watched the one-hour conferment of a Doctorate Degree to a former Asian President from Loyola Marymount University. With the speeches from the guests [LA Mayor and Congresswoman Walters], I picked up tons of positive inputs into my mind.  I may breach an overflow but that's a happy problem I'd like to have.  So c'mon, let's continue feeding our mind with everything that's POSITIVE.❗❗❗

DON'T Wait for Ice Cream to Melt

DON'T Wait for Ice Cream to Melt

Who says we don't like ice cream.  Everybody likes it, even diabetics.  It's just too enticing and scrumptious to even ignore.  Regardless if it is one unhealthy stuff, everyone of us surely will admit you had numerous moments in your life when you're craving for nothing else but ice cream.  I remember my favorite dentist would remind me to take ice cream after my tooth extraction.  Suddenly, I told myself I found an ally in my dentist.  But seriously, in life, there are one too many things analogous to ice cream.  Even life itself, every slice of your moments, you gotta enjoy it like ice cream.

When do we realize that too much ice cream indeed melted before we knew it?  When do we get awakened to come to grips that after so much ice cream did indeed melt only after we have squandered so much lost opportunities.  And those lost opportunities could be those moments you could spent together with your loved ones.  Or it could be misses in your career life wherein you received the pink slip when you flopped at work.  Or it could have been relationships that turned sour.

Don't get me wrong.  There are times that missed opportunities happen based on our judgment call.  When we decide to trade-off an opportunity in exchange for a possible dividend you can reap in the near future, that becomes an 'OPPORTUNITY COST' that may come out as a valid proposition.  But you gotta play your cards in near-perfect form because one slip of assumptions can push you southward.

BTW, this 'ice cream melting' happens both at work and in our personal life.  And those opportunities may differ but what matters is how you deftly handle such opportunities.  You don't want to be scratching your head when that ice cream melted [again].  And those opportunities that tend to slip beyond us is not all about financials.  The biggest concern is TIME because LOST TIME is LOST FOREVER.  I've seen families [literally] poles apart as the breadwinner needs to work thousands of miles away from home.  And that situation stretches through years and decades.  

So, you might stomp me with this question:  WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO AVERT THE ICE CREAM FROM MELTING IF I GOT TO EARN MY BUCKS AWAY FROM HOME ?'  Short and sharp answer:  QUALITY TIME. Given the limited time families can be together, it all boils down to QUALITY TIME.  Once we end up squandering the opportunities for QUALITY TIME, we CAN'T cling to that 'OPPORTUNITY COST'.  Just got to handle things deftly with 'QUALITY TIME' no less and ZERO missed opportunities.✅✅✅

Fanning the Flames

Fanning the Flames

Fires are everywhere but for this piece, we don't intend to cover those fires reported to the NYFD or LAFD.  We're more concerned with the 'burning fires' in conflicts between us humans, either in our homes, in our workplaces, in our local communities.  within countries or even between two or more countries.  Why can't those 'fires' just dissipate in thin air after awhile ?  Instead, why is it so much of these 'fires' actually worsen over time ?

How often have we seen conflicts a.k.a. 'fires' are pre-empted prematurely even before it gets aflame?  Very rare in fact and in truth.  Instead, when there is an initiator or instigator of a conflict, the other protagonist will immediately pick up that challenge by taking things head-on in a brazen and daring stance at that.  As the old cliche goes, 'IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO'.  And indeed, the truth can't be farther when it comes to conflicts.  All it takes is for someone to ignite a friction and voila, that sparks off the conflct that very likely blows up to untold proportions until it becomes unmanageable.

Instead, we see taunting all over the place.  Everyone is more than eager to pick up a fight.  A stark reality anywhere in the world are those scenarios when the 'mob takes over'.  That 'HERD MENTALITY' just shows its ugly head when groups are about to collide head-on.  When the irrational ones take over, it becomes a 'mob rule' wherein the rule of the mob prevails.  And this is when the military organizations of some countries are dragged into wars that drag on.

Question is, why are the Buddhist monks so revered ?  It's because they 'walk the talk'.  When anger creeps in a conflict, they DON'T BITE THE BAIT.  They DON'T fight fire with fire.  Instead, what characterizes their handling of conflicts is founded by a cool and tempered approach.  And throughout the duration of a conflict, prayers and self-reflection eat up much of their time till the conflict gets resolved.

What then are the culprits of unresolved conflicts ?  Not too many though.  Firstly, it is NOT recognizing the existence of a conflict.  Many of us tend to ignore even that conflict that has blown up right in our face.  Where both protagonists do agree that a conflict exists, instead of mediation and reconciliation, aggression, sheer ego and wanton pride tend to prevail until the conflict drags and worsens.  What's our fix ?  THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOUR EGO and PRIDE.❗❗❗

When the Mask Falls Off

 When the Mask Falls Off

We all got it wrong when we all thought that MASKS were introduced into our lives only during this year-long pandemic !  Would you agree that MASKS are as old as our oldest generations of ancestors ?  MASKS were wrongly thought that these were introduced into our lives only when we got this pandemic outbreak.  No sirs, let me tell you why.

In life, we do all have our 'TRUE COLORS' but the reality is that we don't tend to show our 'TRUE COLORS'.  Instead, for multifarious reasons triggered by our self-serving agenda in life, we tend to cloak it, shield it, cover it, mask it so that what comes out is what we want the people to see [regardless if that is NOT your REAL YOU].

And this valid problem tends to be a concern for us all because this shoots down the cliche 'WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET'.  In the end, that cliche becomes a figment of our imagination because what we see may not be the true picture of things.  And this is self-defeating whether at your home or at your workplace.  Not being your 'TRUE YOU', this is a manifestation of being deceiving and deceptive all rolled into one.

Oh i like this poster because I very much aligned to this page.  When you hit 'rock bottom', when you are in tatters, when you are at your worst, look around you and see for yourself who's still there to support you at your lowest point ? DON'T get me wrong though.  We're NOT implying that the people closest to you will turn their backs on you at that point in time but there is a high probability that some of the people whom you thought to be 'close enough' to you will, in the end, compromise their true colors to show how genuine are they there for you.

Thing is, enough of this charade.  Be genuine.  Be true, whether it's to yourself to everyone else around you. Be genuine.  Be transparent.  Be true.  Be what you are.  If there's someone whom you're not keen to support right from Day-1, DON'T DOUBLESPEAK.  DON'T offer one cheek and then turn the other cheek when you opt to swing your swivel chair.  That will get you no farther than where you stand now.  And if you got a phalanx of masks in your life, dump it all because all those masks will wear you down till your guilt, if this still exists, will stop you from putting on any of those masks [AGAIN].  Just stop the charade.

The ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

 The 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'

In the hustle and bustle of our life now [regardless where we live now], surely you have seen how life can be a 'RAT RACE', everyone on their feet early morning and hitting the sack quite late in the day.   To the fortunate few who live a very controlled life that is moderately paced to his/her liking, we envy you.  But for most of us all, we criss-cross highways and geographical boundaries to go for the goals we are all so focused to achieve.

So, what's really going on ?  The big chunk of the population [and that includes traffic] are all taking the same path, same direction.  Too bad that in that more popularly travelled road, congestion is too bad and sometimes even causing collisions and mishaps.  But the more bothering question is:  why can't we take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' ?  What's the upside if we take that path then ?

For my personal sharing, more than two decades back, on my own volition, I took the 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED', flying off to a country I was never been and at a time when the airfare at that time costs seven times [yes, 7x] than today's competitive airfare [even prior to this pandemic].  With all the risks, I took that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'.

Obviously, taking the 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' is just too daunting, intimidating and unnerving.  With all the risks that go with that 'LEAP of FAITH', it takes more than just the purpose and focus to take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'.  It means constantly reminding yourself that the path you're taking will likely reap dividends for you but only after a hell of hard work.

Fast forward, I can humbly admit that i did reap the dividends I envisioned for myself when I did take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' two decades back.  And I'd say I did achieve my goals in less than ten years.  And once I did have 'in the bag' my milestone achievements, i realized I was ahead of my pre-set timelines.  But obviously, looking back, I realized that that 'LEAP of FAITH' I took was a high-risk one but as the cliche goes, HIGH RISK equates to HIGH RESULTS.  In a nutshellm if you are eyeing a 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' but something's holding you back, go for it and take that 'LEAP of FAITH' now ❗❗❗

Pounding the Rock

Pounding the Rock

Oh, life isn't tough.  It's just too damn tough.  Lesser souls have been waylaid.  Weaker ones are those bodies we see as casualties littered across the road.   Unfortunately, those casualties can't be blamed for not lifting a finger.  In fact, majority of them did give it all BUT here's the BUT.  Once they saw the looming shadow of the rock that seemed like an impregnable rock, many of them simply 'chickened out', too awed and overwhelmed by the sheer odds stacked against their favor.

But c'mon, this is no 'David versus Goliath' story.  You don't have to summon all the luck and divine intervention to pull things through.  Instead, you gotta embed the following attributes within you:

• CONSISTENCY - One hit is not sufficient.
• SELF-DISCIPLINE - Show up, hop out.
• ACCOUNTABILITY - Own it, there's no other way
  
  Without the CONSISTENCY, things will not pay off.  As the ROCK symbolizes life [and life can be big, hard and difficult to beat], we gotta attack life everyday.  Take that sledgehammer of action and swing it as hard and as often as possible.  One hit won't be enough because it will take consistent, powerful and frequent hits will finally BREAK THE ROCK.

Surely, there will be days when the sledgehammer may seem heavier than usual or the rock simply looks bigger than it is.  These are the days when you gotta POUND THE ROCK.  That's when you shouldn't stop taking those swings and while sometimes, those swings don't have the force you need, those are the days when even just showing up becomes that important.

Akin to a stonecutter, we gotta be accountable.  That's taking responsibility for our action.  During those days when things are too difficult, THINK of the people who depend on you, who cling on you, so you gotta continue swinging hard your sledgehammer.  Eventually the gloomy skies will clear out, the rough waves will come to a standstill, the fury of the wind will dissipate and eventually, you will achieve that breakthrough just by POUNDING THE ROCK over & over again.✅

Why You're MORE SUCCESSFUL Than You Think

 Why You're MORE SUCCESSFUL Than You Think

This perplexes me.  Why are we so damn tough on ourselves ?  Why are our criteria for success sometimes run parallel to those of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg ?  But these guys are outliers so why should we align our success criteria with them ?  Isn't it just too inequitable, too unfair and simply incomprehensible to accept, if at all.

Sure we wanna raise the bar and that's just fine.  But when we set it way too high, that's just preposterous at the very least.  You could be a local entrepreneur who had his strides of small successes to date and out of nowhere, you start dreaming of gargantuan projects that could compete with Elon Musk's SPACE X Project.  Or on a lower scale, you start dreaming to be the President of your country ?  Or being the controlling stakeholder of a conglomerate ?

Thing is, it's not bad to 'DREAM BIG' but after you're through with those fleeting moments, temper things to what is reasonable and realistic.  At the end of the day, we wanna be achievers of our successes and while healthy competition is good to kick our butts out, the bottomline is that we don't want to fantasize to the point of hallucinating things.

On the other hand, there could tell-tale signs that we are already achieving success even as we speak now WHEN:

• You're more POSITIVE in life
• You've bounced back from a SETBACK
• You live life ON YOUR VERY OWN TERMS
• You have a PLAN, a concrete one at that
• You feel BLESSED with all the BLESSINGS
• You're GRATEFUL WITH WHAT YOU ARE
• You know well your STRENGTH & WEAKNESSES
• You're GENUINELY HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE NOW
  
  You could be making mistakes here and there, sometimes guilty of those fumbling acts BUT hey, that's very much part of the game.  Who says that it will be a 'cakewalk' ?  Why is it many of us eventually FALTER and end up as FAILURES ?  It's simply because we never recognized that we were successful enough.  It's because we were so DAMN HARSH on ourselves.  It's because we were too exacting, cracking the whip on us.  So c'mon, let's celebrate even those small successes because those are the catalysts we need down the road.