See Through The Lens: KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

See Through The Lens:  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

See Through The Lens:  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS.  When I was still in school, I barely thought about OR talked about my STRENGTHS.  WHILE I vaguely knew I was good at certain things, I avoided exploring and articulating my strengths.  I then feared that I might sound like I was bragging OR somehow implying that I was better than others if I did.  Sadly, I let that fear get the best of me for the longest time.  It WASN'T until long after I had graduated from university that I learned that the ability to name, claim and aim your STRENGTHS is an essential skill to thrive in today's workforce.  You might ask me, could I have avoided committing those mistakes?  Certainly dude📗📙📘

For so many reasons, it is beneficial for us to be focusing on our own STRENGTHS now, rather than later.  First and foremost, knowing your STRENGTHS will help you identify opportunities that would be a good fit for you.  One of the best ways to determine the next steps in our life journey is to first understand WHO you are, WHICH then includes reflecting on your STRENGTHS.  The better you know your natural talents, the more you can draw from them to search for and identify opportunities that will give you the chance to do WHAT you do best everyday, so you can then turn your raw talents into matured STRENGTHS and live up to your potential💧💧💧

Over to the job market, learning HOW to showcase your STRENGTHS in a resume, cover letter or interview, you can demonstrate your value to recruiters and show them NOT only your fitness BUT your readiness to tackle on that job opportunity you're angling😗😗😗

Let's look at this WHAT IF.  WHAT IF you tend to be underrating yourself?  Psychologists covered this in their research and results show that this gives rise to two common distortions in one's behavior.  THAT's overdoing and underdoing.  In the past, I came across an executive WHO was worried he lacked authority [even though he was a naturally commanding person].  So, he poured it on and was perceived by his team members as one WHO seemed overpowering❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let us be aware and wary that there is a very thin demarcation line where we end up understating OR overstating our STRENGTHS.  Once you underrate yourself in a given aspect, you are likely creating a void caused by that underrating.  WHEREAS if you overdo things beyond your validated STRENGTH, you may likely flop.  SO HOW?  Be 'SPOT ON' to know your STRENGTHs❗❗❗

That GIGO Effect!

That GIGO Effect!

GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT.  This phrase originated in the computer world.  I remember sometime back, together with my DB Team, we spent sleepless nights [that's besides the long days] cleansing data WHICH were 'garbage' [and by the time we confirmed it was GARBAGE, it was too little too late].  All along in the technology space, when we kept harping on GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT, it was about That GIGO Effect📗📙📘

Swinging over to the fast lane, to our daily lives, are we witnessing GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT?  Those instances could be cranking up to zillion times I guess.  Starting from our school days, it's so obvious WHY our parents wanted all along to send us to the good and possibly best schools [of course, to schools their war chest can align.  Not schools in the Ivy League for most of us].  And WHY did our parents frown when sometimes we're friends to people NOT much to their liking💥💥💥

As we get into the groove towards adulthood, WHEN we have unshackled ourselves away from our parents, WHEN we're very much on our own, we would then realize the relevance of that very old but heavily quoted one-liner:  BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER.  Before you know it, if you're a huge fun of clubbing, WHO else will you spend time with?  And if you're a smoker, do you expect to spend time with a bookworm😄😄😄

As you gradually build your habits and persona, before you know it, you would realize that YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE, that WHATEVER you embraced would end up as a huge influence in your evolving persona, that your developing discipline is now becoming WHAT is you at the moment.  You might ask, can I undo things so that I DON'T end up with GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT???

Our takeaway:  In life, we can likely avoid seeing OR having garbage as an output in our life.  BUT as the Singaporean would ask, SO HOW?  It all starts up front when data is being collected and before it gets churned out.  GO BACK TO BASICs.  Trace those 'bad stuff'  WHERE it is emanating, WHAT's causing OR triggering it.  And rectify that 'bad stuff' ASAP.  Avoid blurting excuses and alibis because by then, it might be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE❗❗❗

Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!

Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!

Has anyone been into that situation WHEREIN anything you touch seems to crumble?  YES, donkey years ago, I had given it my all, name it, late nights, relentless planning, endless cups of coffee.  YET, the more I tried to control myself during those times, the more I felt stalled and stagnant.  Control LESS, Move Forward MORE!  True, many of us [and that includes me sometime in the distant past] are OR were CONTROL FREAKS.  BUT NOT to defend the guilty, feeling the need to be in CONTROL is natural.  It is WHEN we try to CONTROL everything that we create unnecessary stress and anxiety that can hold us back.  It's important to realize that we can never control everything.  Trying to do that would lead us to many negative emotions WHEN things DON'T go exactly HOW we try to force them📘📙📗

BUT let's admit it, letting go of CONTROL ISN'T always that easy.  In fact, it's damn tough especially when we face uncertainties in life.  BUT let's get to the bottom of things, that letting go of CONTROL can actually help bring a greater sense of peace.  Add on to that, releasing the things you truly CAN'T CONTROL can give you more time and energy to focus on the things that you can.  My analogy here is in the corporate world.  WHY did BPO services sprout?  It's because companies want to focus and CONTROL operations of their core business💥💥💥

So, this question still bothers me.  WHY do we need the feel to CONTROL?  Thing is, the desire to be able to CONTROL our surroundings and circumstances is ingrained into our consciousness.  This is because the more we know about our world, the safer we feel.  On the other hand, the less we know, the more scared we feel.  The need to CONTROL is directly rooted in fear, specifically that FEAR of WHAT might happen outside our CONTROL.  Digging up for the possible root causes of this CONTROL freakiness, anxiety and past trauma are common causes.  People WHO experience anxiety often have a very difficult time tolerating uncertainty.  They may worry more about future events and ruminate over situations they cannot CONTROL💦💦💦

Psychologists even advise us that sheer attempts to CONTROL does negatively, affect our lives.  It may be natural to want to CONTROL things BUT that DOESN'T make it healthy.  In fact, their studies show that there are many ways in which trying to CONTROL everything could, in the end, backfire in the long run.  Their studies showed that people WHO try to CONTROL everything may even experience more stress and anxiety than those WHO DON'T.  People tend to feel more upset WHEN they feel like they cannot CONTROL the sources of stress in their life.  However, it is the perception of CONTROL that has a major effect on HOW people respond to aversive situations.  That becomes the acid test we need to hurdle😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Let's put things this way.  Many times in our life, we end up dissatisfied because of our feeling for that need to CONTROL and NOT having it, we end up dissatisfied.  Perceived CONTROL can play an important role in overall happiness.  People WHO have high levels of perceived CONTROL can play an important role  in one's overall happiness.  Because there is NO way to CONTROL everything in life, caring too much about HOW things outside your CONTROL are going can lead to increased criticism about everything that happens.  After all, WHEN you DON'T CONTROL the outcomes you want to, it makes sense that you DON'T like them.  In turn, being more critical can make us more neurotic, leading us to that unending and spiraling cycle in WHICH we get progressively unhappier with our lives.  Can we CONTROL LESS, and MOVE FORWARD MORE❗❗❗

It's NOT What You Gather. It's What You Scatter.

It's NOT What You Gather.  It's What You Scatter.

Are you feeling like your life is passing by and you're NOT making the most of it?  Do you wonder if there is something more?  Have you asked yourself, IS THIS REALLY ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?  YES, these are normal thoughts.  BUT if you want to try to get the most of your life, WHAT does it mean WHEN we hear:  It's NOT What You Gather.  It's What You Scatter.  So, WHAT does it mean WHEN we hear that IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER that matters???

IF we ask a million people HOW to live life to the fullest, we could get a million iterations.  For some, it might be raising a family.  For many, it could be having a successful career.  For others, it could be acquiring properties here and there.  WHAT's common amongst all these possible iterations is that each one involves finding MEANING or PURPOSE in WHAT one is doing OR HOW one is spending their time, the life is one that is exciting OR fulfilling for the individual.  IF we are NOT living our life to the fullest, then we're generally feeling dissatisfied with the lack of meaning OR purpose that we are getting from our daily life.  Maybe we DON'T find satisfaction in our daily job.  OR maybe we've been having that UNLI access to social media only to realize that you seem to have wasted time💙💚💛

So, WHATEVER our particular situation is, our life may feel dull, unsatisfying OR uninspiring.  So, before we get buried with all these negativities, can we instead swamp ourselves with everything that's positive.  Can we be thriving, prospering, feeling fulfilled, happy, satisfied, enjoying our own selves, savoring life, relishing life, and delighting in life.  So HOW?  Experts are giving us a very simple YET practical advice and that's for us to FILL UP OUR LIFE WITH THINGS THAT MAKE US HAPPY💧💧💧

According to research, positive emotions may have a big influence on HOW full and meaningful our life feels.  Studies showed that positive emotions experienced in a given day would contribute to a greater sense of meaning that day.  This suggests that we can live our lives to the fullest by making sure that we do fun, exciting OR positive activities daily.  In fact, experts tell us that prioritizing positive activities has been shown in research studies to be linked with greater life satisfaction, more positive emotions and conversely, fewer negative emotions😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  I would volunteer myself as a case study here.  WHILE I may NOT as successful as the business moguls and magnates, deep within, I have that sense of fulfillment because I can rightfully claim that at least for five families, their lives today are 10x better off than 10 years ago and more importantly, till to date, the trajectory of their lives remain on the uptick [and easily for the foreseeable future].  So, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER.  IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER, dude❗❗❗

Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE? Really?

Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE?  Really?

Mom says, teacher says, my mentor says, my counsellor says that I Got To Be DISCIPLINED To Be PRODUCTIVE.   Really? YES it's true, DISCIPLINE is a key factor in enhancing our productivity as it helps maintain focus, establishes routines, and even ensures tasks are completed consistently.  YES, with DISCIPLINE, individuals can overcome distractions, meet deadlines and stay committed to their goals📗📙📘

Before we all go down the drain in one fell swoop, let's agree here that PRODUCTIVITY simply refers to efficiency.  It depicts the effectiveness in the method of getting a task done and NOT the effectiveness of the task itself.  PRODUCTIVITY is commonly linked to the principle of resource maximization, mostly in terms of time, effort and cost.  This implies that a more PRODUCTIVE individual gets things done faster in a more seamless manner💦💦💦

With my humble sharing from my experiences, I would be quite firm to say that PRODUCTIVITY as a concept is as much a human trait as any other individual trait such as honesty, humility, etc.  Hence, that vice and virtue nature of any human trait as determined by the cause and/or goal to WHICH the trait is exhibited is also applicable to PRODUCTIVITY.  As such, PRODUCTIVITY is susceptible to both positive and negative application✅✅✅

Instead, HOW many of us is aware of the ABCDE Method WHEREIN tasks are tagged as either A [very important], B [important], C [Nice to do], D [delegate] OR E [eliminate].  As things get more complicated, we need to be aware that PRODUCTIVITY can be described in various forms.  Depending on the context, PRODUCTIVITY can be considered as a continuous process😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Being PRODUCTIVE is NOT being merely DISCIPLINED.  Instead, this all boils down to us, to love WHAT we do.  Without that burning fervor to tackle a task OR activity, no amount of DISCIPLINE can boost our PRODUCTIVITY levels because the latter boils down to efficiency.  You can be DISCIPLINED but if your task execution is either sloppy OR NOT the optimal way, then your PRODUCTIVITY will continue to dip.  So, YES, you got to be DISCIPLINED but you got to be EFFICIENT to be PRODUCTIVE💙💛💚

Should We Forget About Plan B?

Should We Forget About Plan B?

For the longest time, since childhood and even as we speak now, we were all taught and schooled that in life, we got to always have a Plan B?  BUT here's the thing, for the past donkey years I have managed projects even of the most complex magnitude, I'll admit that NOT ONCE did we ever plotted for a Plan B [as part of our program/project management best practices.  So, here's the question:  Should We Forget About Plan B???

YES, most of us would agree that it really makes sense to have a backup plan.  Events NEVER unfold exactly as expected and it makes sense to prepare for contingencies.  BUT a recent study will surprise [or SHOCK us all].  The research showed that just thinking about your backup plan reduces your chances for success.  The research was executed clinically as one group was asked to simply perform a task WHEREAS the other group was asked to think about WHAT they would do if they DIDN'T succeed before starting.  In that research, the group WHO thought of a Plan B were LESS successful.  That became the basis for the researchers to conclude that crafting a backup plan can indeed have harmful effects in our pursuit of our goals OR plan[s].  I believe this is NOT even debatable because this happens in our real life💧💧💧

You might retort, DOES THIS MEAN WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MULTIPLE PLANS?  Probably NOT.  Sometimes, a particular activity may have different outcomes for WHICH it is only prudent to plan in detail [including a Plan B].  A classic example is a 'Garden Wedding' WHERE you need to have an 'INDOOR' wedding as a Plan B in case of rains and downpour.  BUT beyond those life events, NOT everything in life appropriately deserves a Plan B💥💥💥

That Plan B remains practical and a good practice for activities like starting a business, accepting a new job offer.  In these cases, a high degree of personal commitment is essential for one to succeed.  I remember in some history facts, military commanders burned bridges after crossing them OR even sunk boats that carried them to their destination.  That proved that retreat was NOT an option for that attacking force❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  This is a no-brainer for me because long time back WHEN I took that quantum leap to fly to Singapore, I resigned from my job at that time [and even sold my car before I departed].  Just a solid proof that I NEVER entertained any thoughts that I'll fail in my new pursuit and I had to come back [OR retreat, to borrow the army jargon].  So, SHOULD WE FORGET ABOUT PLAN B?  YES please, except for the practical situations where a Plan B is a must😌😌😌

Those Tides Of Change

 Those Tides Of Change

Mankind has been so fortunate so as to be able to control so many things in life BUT EXCEPT  Those Tides Of Change.  Could be related to relationships, to one's career, to one's health OR even financials.  Let's agree if any of those areas in life are impacted by a change, we can feel the ramifications.  BUT alas, you're NOT alone there because I've been there many times and I did hit 'rock bottom' BUT it was NOT the end of it📗📙📘

And WHILE I confess I am not an SME in counselling with regard life's challenges, this six-letter word spelled C-O-P-I-N-G should be our 'guiding light' BUT here's the catch.  For COPING to be effective, it has to be translated in a concrete action in hundreds of ways.  First things first though, let's ACCEPT WHAT needs to be ACCEPTED.  ACCEPTANCE may sound like a buzz word and yet some reject ACCEPTANCE💧💧💧

Some people look at ACCEPTANCE as giving in BUT it's better to see it as coming to terms with HOW things are for now.  One scenario WHERE sometimes we're unconscious OR unaware is our pacing.  If you just recovered back from an illness or a medical procedure, you may NOT be able to do as much as you used to.  This can be hard to adjust to because we all lead busy lives.  Pacing yourself may actually help you do more rather than having a set back because you've done too much.  And that's WHEN one's support structure kicks in💥💥💥

True, it can be hard to ask for HELP especially if you think you're already a burden because of your condition.  Loved ones often want to help BUT they WON'T know HOW unless you tell them WHAT you need.  Try NOT to think 'if they really loved me they would know WHAT I need', our loved ones are NOT mind readers, after all.  And learning HOW to tell people if the support you're getting ISN'T the support you need❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHEN stress creeps in, that throws a monkey wrench in your system.  And since there's NO way to avoid stress, the least we need to do is to have a strategy for dealing with stress.  There may be times WHEN you find things hard to deal with.  Learn to recognize WHEN you are becoming stressed and have a strategy that you find helpful.  This can be anything that works for you, BUT some tips that often help are slowing down your breathing OR going somewhere to have that whiff of 'fresh air'.  Yes dude, handling those TIDES OF CHANGE is more important than we thought of😀😀😀

Motivation Is Easier Said Than Done

Motivation Is Easier Said Than Done

Motivation Is Easier Said Than Done.  In fact, it can be uttered almost effortlessly BUT the harsh truth is that motivating our own self is hard.  In fact, even after you kickstarted on something, trying to sustain your drive through that activity, task OR project OR even your career can sometimes feel like pulling yourself out of a swamp by your own hair.  We seem to have that natural aversion to persistent effort that NO amount of caffeine can fix it📗📙📘

One huge disconnect with regard MOTIVATION is the fact that most of us take on MOTIVATION literally.  BUT how far did we appreciate the fact that MOTIVATION is our very tool set to break our OLD habits and to develop new healthy ones.  And WHAT complicates our dilemma is that many of us struggle with getting and staying MOTIVATED, especially if they have mental health conditions such as depression OR anxiety.  So, you might ask, WHAT's so big about MOTIVATION?  YES, it is that big because it is influenced by HOW MUCH YOU WANT THE GOAL?  WHAT YOU WILL GAIN?  WHAT WILL YOU LOSE FROM NOT ACHIEVING THAT GOAL?  And to top it all, WHAT are your personal expectations???

One common refrain we'll hear many times is that, DON'T ever teach me about MOTIVATION because I know it from A to Z.  BUT the biggest stomping questions are:

• WHY does MOTIVATION weaken OR fizzle out?
• WHY will MOTIVATION suddenly evaporate in thin air?
• WHY is it difficult to recoup when we loose MOTIVATION?

The common denominator there is SUSTAINING it becomes our recurring challenge.  First things first, when we kickstart a new initiative, we're so gung-ho, motivated and brimming with overflowing confidence that we'll succeed with our latest endeavor.  UNTIL...

UNTIL things will fizzle out.  Oh Oh, that sounds familiar.  Just like relationships between couples and partners.  That explains WHY the first phase of relationships has always been tagged as that honeymoon period.  BUT down the road, things loose that luster, that excitement.  And even within the workforce, does it sound familiar when, at the project kickoff, everyone was so excited and engaged BUT along the road, that momentum seems to slow down UNTIL sometimes, it even gets stalled.  Too bad, there is no dose of overnight medicine to fix that kind of illness.  BUT it's NOT that six feet deep you'll be unable to extricate yourself from it.  SO HOW???

• Regularly check your progress as by itself, it is a MOTIVATOR
• NEVER stop setting goals BUT tackle it one at a time though.
• Surround yourself with POSITIVE people.  Surely they can help
• Rule of thumb:  While for most people, it takes up to two months to develop a new habit, for some, it can take much longer

Our takeaway:  Akin to the renewed reminders by airlines that all passengers must ALWAYS fasten their seatbelts [just in case of an uncontrollable turbulence], in life, let's NOT be complacent even if while airborne, everything is running smoothly.  Knock on wood, we'll never know if turbulence hits us.  That's WHEN we need to develop that needed RESILIENCE to help us be carried on and continue from WHERE we have taken off.  And here's a no-brainer.  Sometimes, we just need to take a break, reset, reboot and restart.  YES, MOTIVATION IS EASIER THAN DONE BUT IT CAN BE DONE, dude😀😀😀

Wandering Off The Beaten Path

Let's talk about Wandering Off The Beaten Path and WHEN we think of that, how many times did we hear comments up front like, NO WAY OR THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE OR DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.   Does that sound familiar?  OR does that sound like you?  OR are you someone WHO sees risks for the opportunities they are?  So, this brings me to ask myself, is it good to take risks by taking the road LESS TRAVELLED? taking OFF that BEATEN PATH?  Frankly though, this is a question that CAN'T be answered with a black OR white because in many cases, taking that risk is the key to increasing your self-confidence and opening you up to more opportunities📗📙📘

Of course, there will be times WHEN taking a risk is NOT in your best interest.  So, in that case, steer clear of risks that could harm either yourself OR even others and most importantly, let us NOT take risks that may potentially violate your own personal boundaries OR worse, even endanger your very own mental and physical health.  YES dude, your own personal and mental safety is paramount, BUT most of the risks we avoid in life DON'T really cause that sort of harm.  That's the real score💧💧💧

Head of FEAR of making a mistake.  OR that FEAR of looking silly.  OR that FEAR of people judging your choices.  OR that FEAR of failure.  OR that FEAR of NOT being good enough.  These types of FEARS are WHAT we call emotional FEARS.  And to sound redundant here, NOT all risks are bad.  In all humility, I absolutely would NOT be WHERE I am now IF I DIDN'T take the various risks along the way WHICH, WHEN I recall, many of those roads I did travel were peppered with 'land mines'😕😕😕

I was then a freshman in my country's top law school WHEN I decided to abandon my law studies and did a 90-degree turn and get into the technology space.  The risks were there and if I did an apples to apples comparison, I'll admit that it was a tough call to make because the PROs were as heavy as the CONs.  BUT as in any competitive thing, that cannot remain a deadlock, so I had to make a judgment call💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHEN it was time for my judgment call, I asked myself, should I be more conservative [a.k.a. defensive] by NOT taking on the risks?  OR should I consider the probabilities of my own growth WHEN the stars align?  Was I scared then?  You bet.  Did taking those risks challenge WHO I thought I was?  YES.  So, was I taking even the first step towards my goal a risk?  Oh YES absolutely. So, if it worked for me, HOW can risk-taking benefit your life as well?  Remember, risks AREN'T all about jumping out of an airplane OR betting a month's salary on horse racing OR running in front of traffic on a dare.  Calculated risks are WHAT will help you reach your dreams,  YES dude, do WANDER OFF THE BEATEN PATH✅✅✅

Nothing Is OFF THE TABLE

Nothing Is OFF THE TABLE

How often we hear Nothing Is OFF THE TABLE?  Not so often.  In fact, very rarely we hear that.  On the other hand, this is one of the rarest statement ever uttered in our daily lives.  In fact, even during those moments this statement needs to be stated, very often it remains UNSAID.  WHY?  Because sometimes we [wrongly] assume it's well understood.  Because sometimes there are sensitivities we are trying to live with.  Because at times, we tend to paint rosy pictures even of the murkiest waters around us📗📙📘

The thing is, life is not defined by one, single freeway.  Life is made up of CHOICES.  And based on my experiences, life is just a series of decisions we make, and depending on our choice, we must live with the result arising from that decision.  And the choices usually consist of a multitude of possibilities and, whether real OR imagined, we must recognize that in some way the DECISION will change our life forever💚💛💜

Therein lies the rub.  Because there are many factors involved in our DECISION-making and with its unknown result, many of us hesitate to even make a choice, thinking it would be safer and that we'd be better off WHERE we are instead of delving into the unknown.  Just think of HOW many events in history would never have occurred if someone did NOT make the choice to do something different, unknown, unproved OR unexperienced.  How many relationships would never have been realized without making a particular choice?  Many would say that we have no control over our world OR what happens to us.  I say perhaps you cannot control the world  BUT you can certainly control HOW you choose to react to various situations and HOW you will handle them💧💧💧

Good for us, in many situations in life, we have one too many options and choices.  And rarely do we end up with a maximum of two choices.  And it's even an outlier WHEN our choice is limited to just one, singular option [and that's maintaining the STATUS QUO].  Otherwise, depending upon the type of choice it is, if we DON'T have a multitude of options, we seem to be anxious and confused.  BUT it's all about setting expectations😁😁😁

Our takeaway:  Through and through, I always believed that we all have our respective 'DESTINY POINTS' we must live through in this lifetime, which we have designed prior to our incarnation before we ventured back into this three-dimensional world.  BUT with these 'DESTINY POINTS' firmly implanted in our own makeup, we all have that 'FREE WILL' and can choose HOW we will live through the situation at hand.  WHAT we should never loose sight is that NOTHING OFF THE TABLE.  Let us NOT be presumptuous OR prematurely assuming on the basis of the information we have at hand [because there may be a probability that those information we're not aware of could be material enough for us to arrive at an INFORMED DECISION.  NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE, dude❗❗❗