It's NOT The Same For Everyone

It's NOT The Same For Everyone

To borrow one of the oldest and one of the most oft-quoted cliches, '"DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER".  Simply put. let us NOT draw conclusions based on WHAT we see OR what we witness, NOT until you have validated it and did get through it.  Oh Oh Oh, this is most prevalent in today's social media were the recipient/reader tends to draw conclusions based on FACE VALUE, based on WHAT that social media post seems to brag OR scream.  BUT WHAT is lost is that It's NOT The Same For Everyone📗📙📘

Unlike in the old school where we were peppered with endless pitches [we called it 'sermon'] from our parents that we are NOT at the level of Joneses, hence, let us NOT keep up with them, in today's social media, human behavior tends to manifest and happen faster than the speed of sound.  More often, we tend to skip [OR intentionally ignore] that every social media post or sharing needs to be classified as either as FACT or FICTION [a.k.a. FAKE NEWS].  Mother of all worse things, such behavior we tend to manifest later becomes MORE frequent until it becomes a part of our force of HABIT💧💧💧

True, a lot of us [and that includes moi] would have social media posts of our achievements in life.  Whether it's finishing a marathon, topping our class batch, OR buying our dream gadget, one of the common reactions to those kind of posts is how 'EASY' was it for them to achieve those things.  Hey, did they experience hardships?  Maybe it DOESN'T look like it.  Then, here comes our internalized reaction, 'HOW I WISH I COULD EASILY ACHIEVE THOSE THINGS'.  Problem is, we sometimes think that way.  And at times, we see things like that.  In the end, we suffer that way.  WHAT we miss out is that those achievements could be the product of sleepless nights, sacrifice and hard work [NOT just of the person him/herself BUT even the parents, the support structure💥💥💥

Sometimes, we miss out the fact that generally, there is NO EASY PATH in life.  True, from the other side of the fence, things look that easy BUT that's being presumptuous.  Sometimes it is true, one particular achievement was EASY for someone BUT that doesn't mean it would be easier for others to achieve WHAT you've achieved.  BUT hey, NOT everyone has the same resources, same connections OR even those opportunities that would arise❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  The fundamental issue here is that WHEN we talk about fairness and equality, while the appreciation may be in good faith, the understanding is intrinsically flawed.  Even between EQUALITY and EQUITY, there is a huge mix-up because while in EQUALITY is where we treat everyone the same, it assumes the same thing will benefit everyone in the same way.  BUT EQUITY is treating people fairly, looking at WHAT they need to ensure they have access to the same opportunities.  Simply put, NOT everyone can stand on a box and ignoring that fact that in reality, we are still fumbling in that ability to recognize the fact that, in life, it is TO EACH HIS OWN [because IT'S NOT THE SAME FOR EVERYONE]😗😗😗

Clean Up Your Mess, PLEASE

Clean Up Your Mess, PLEASE

Clean Up Your Mess.  Can you remember the first time you heard someone [probably your mom] say this to you?  OR for that matter, can you remember another one loudly instructing CLEAN UP YOUR MESS?  I can share some first-hand testimonials WHERE someone screamed this repeatedly to a subordinate [at work].  And initially, it was like a rough and tumble game wherein either party just WON'T budge.  BUT at some point, someone did cave in and realized his MESS📗📙📘

As awful as that experience [even if it is not that traumatic] can be, I can bet that that can be the turning point, that tipping point of realization, WHERE someone can become a version of someone more orderly.  True, fear and humiliation can be a great teacher and motivator BUT frankly, I am more inclined for a gentle, diplomatic approach [WITHOUT being accused of disciplining via a SLAP ON THE WRIST.  Looking back, I did experience moments in the past WHERE I was guilty of messes I was culpable of.  And I had to CLEAN UP those MESSES and had to learn and even re-learn old habits that somehow died down in the past💦💦💦

Sometimes, the tough LESSONS LEARNT came with the help of others and sometimes born from an inner stirring that nudged me into something better.  YES, it takes constant vigilance to CLEAN UP all the MESSES.  And BTW, be on the lookout of a good habit WHICH might die a natural death.  It did happen to me in the past and it was tough man, tough to reintroduce such good habits back into my system💧💧💧

So, WHAT are those messes in life?  A lot AS IN a lot.  Rather being on defensive and resisting to CLEAN UP the MESS, WHY DON'T we take it as an opportunity for us to CLEAN UP with a much lower humiliation factor.  So, WHERE's your MESS?  Is it on your physical health?  Your financial health?  OR are you involved in some MESSY stuff with regard your work performance?  Either way, as the old cliche goes, WHEN you're down, there's NO other way to go BUT UP.  So, HOW do we approach the CLEANING UP of a MESS?  First off, define your problem OR MESS that needs some CLEANING UP💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Dissect the issue into small, smaller components so that you can clearly understand the severity of your MESS.  And then, direct your attention to the fixes.  WHAT do you need to do today or the next day to CLEAN UP your mess?  Sadly, as adults, we are really good at telling children, students and co-workers to CLEAN UP their messes.  YET, WHEN it comes to our own internal orderliness, we tend to ignore OR miss them due to our own blind spots.  So, to CLEAN UP your MESS is NOT a pleading.  This is a MUST-DO dude❗❗❗

How Do We 'GET OVER'?

How Do We 'GET OVER'?

True, life is hard.  Difficult and unwanted things happen to us.  Sadly, human nature WHEN we find ourselves in a challenging situation, our instinct is to wish it away because it is unpleasant at the very least.  And then, we often want to rush to the point WHEN our troubles NO longer cause us discomfort.  BUT the question that keeps bugging us is this:  How Do We 'GET OVER'?  The answer is simple enough and that is, you need to get over it, head-on📗📙📘

And BTW, to face it head on, it's NO rocket science.  First and foremost, you got to gather all your fortitude [and gumption] to face it. There's just NO other way [else you might even run away from that situation].   Once you're LOCKED IN, then MAKE A PLAN.  WHILE you DON'T know WHAT is going to happen in the future, you can always PLAN ahead.  Look at the patterns in your life and see WHAT challenges you struggle with💧💧💧

At that point, it becomes imperative to assess the optimal outcomes and make a PLAN for HOW you can achieve them.  And if you work somewhere and you can anticipate the types of challenges you may face, then you can PLAN ahead from thereon.  BTW, this happens to us all.  You have a TIME MANAGEMENT issue, then, it's fairly simple for you to embrace and acquire the sound fundamentals of PLANNING your time even via calendar management.  Frankly, to heal and address the hardships we have at hand, we need to face them.  And HEALING happens WHEN we allow ourselves to go through WHAT we are going through [and NOT ignore them]💦💦💦

True, facing head-on the challenges we have may seem daunting initially BUT then that is a crucial step forward.  Maintaining the STATUS QUO is not acceptable OR worst, circumventing the challenge by avoiding it will NEVER resolve and close it.  WHAT do we gain from this NOT so palatable approach?  WHEN we confront our difficulties instead of avoiding them, we gain valuable insights about ourselves and discover our strengths.  It's akin to forging steel through the fire as our hardships would definitely shape us into stronger and wiser individuals.  And in the face of the adversity, embracing the reality of WHAT we are going through instead of pushing it away is the key for us to emerge stronger, if NOT unscathed💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Challenges can get too tough to handle when emotions get into the mix.  And if we attempt to suppress our emotions, rather than allowing them to flow out, that can lead to them piling up inside of us.  Studies do support cases WHERE people WHO faced trauma may try to suppress such unpleasant emotions as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming feelings BUT experts tell us, such suppression can lead to worsening our mental and physical health.  Bottom line is, let's be firm that WHATEVER IT IS, we can GET OVER IT😑😑😑

Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself

Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself

This world we live in can quite rowdy and cacophonous.  I have said this many times and allow me to repeat it:  IF YOU GOT TEN PEOPLE IN THE ROOM, EXPECT TEN DIFFERENT OPINIONS HOVERING ALL OVER YOU.  And I hope that is NOT debatable because that's the fact, the harsh reality we live in. Spend MORE Time To Listen To Yourself.  Indeed, fear and anxiety about life are challenges for everyone of us.  To be more philosophical, I always believed that in this planet, there are 3 human goals that I have understood quite well enough.  THAT we need to love our fell humans.  THAT we need to learn for us to grow in knowledge and wisdom.  And THAT we got to protect our environment📗📙📘

Admittedly, until now, I always endeavor to look for ways to best listen to myself.  And I WON'T hesitate to dissect in figuring out WHY I behaved that way, WHY I am manifesting that stuff, WHY I reacted [quite NOT in a normal way] in a particular incident.  Oh yes, I did come across an article about self-confidence and even today, whenever I read a content-heavy stuff, I want to absorb it and that article just reminded me to reinforce my self-motivation, THAT there is NO tapering off.  The simple thing to listen to ourselves is to follow WHAT our conscience tells us.  And if there is a non-debatable consensus within the psychology community, it is the fact that LISTENING to one's conscience is one hundred percent correct action.  YES, it's quite different if we only depend on the thoughts in our heads💧💧💧

And I CAN'T agree less with the experts who tell us that the mind has indications to reveal even the untruths.  THAT the mind has indications of NOT speaking the truth.  As a result, we state something THAT is NOT based on facts.  And THAT WHEN an individual wants to make a decision and he does NOT use or follow his conscience BUT only relies on the thoughts in his head, the results of the decision tend to be tainted by our emotions, WHICH is NOT right❌❌❌

Looking back, starting sometime my high school years, I attempted to crystallize my goals in life, immature and quite off-track it may be during those years.  I then started diving into a new pool of life and I had to be able to find ways so that I can easily adapt to the new environment.  And many dilemmas came into my mind every night during those early years, sometimes even creeping into my dreams.  And admittedly God knows WHAT the cause was.  Maybe, those times I was NOT listening to myself.  OR NOT following WHAT I want❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Everything boils down to self-confidence.  If anxiety seems to manifest every night, the dilemma about WHETHER the life we live is useful OR not, is caused by doubt and lack of confidence.  We must always be able to listen to ourselves.  Because WHEN we succeed in listening to the basic things we want, it will give us self-confidence.  BUT HOW?  Listening to yourself is a kind of REFLECTION.  REFLECTION to listen to WHAT we want so that we DON'T get tired easily, so that we DON'T worry easily.  And in my perspective, self-confidence is about belief and that belief evolves when you SPEND MORE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF😌😌😌

Say The Words You Want To Hear

Say The Words You Want To Hear

How often we blurt out 'THAT's MUSIC TO MY EARS'?  YES it's true, Say The Words You Want To Hear, no more no less.  In pedestrian lingo, it's akin to saying 'SCRATCH MY BACK AND I'LL SCRATCH YOURS' [as well].  BUT to piggy-back with the jargon from psychologists, they tell us that the timing of our brain wave shapes HOW we perceive our environment.  And that we are MORE likely to perceive events WHEN their timing coincides with the timing of relevant brain waves.  In fact, we DON'T need to look far.  Look at yourself, comforting others with words you want to hear.  Sometimes, it does amaze me HOW I can give advice to someone even without experiencing their situation .  I vividly recall that time I was VPO [Volunteer Probation Officer] with the Singapore government.  There I was, counselling juveniles [including their parents] WHEN I was never a juvenile📗📙📘

Those years, I found myself speaking words of comfort and offering counsel, solutions and support to the juvenile delinquents under my purview and custodianship.  Looking back, I now realized that sometimes it seemed strange HOW easily those words I need to speak just kept flowing into me [AS IF I had rehearsed them many times in mind].  And I was in tight situations those times as I was like 'walking the tightrope', doing a balancing act between my counselled teens and their parents/guardians [WHO by themselves seemed lost in the maze as well]💧💧💧

And WHEN I talk to someone going through a tough time, I hear myself saying things I wish someone had said to me.  I tell them to stay strong, to keep going, that I am proud of them, and that WHEN YOU'RE DOWN , THE ONLY WAY TO GO WAS UPWARDS.  Oh Oh, I have to admit I had my fair share of challenges in life which I want to hear as well WHEN I do face my own challenges.  And trust me, I was on the receiving end many times and I realized I was blessed enough to hear those words [EVEN when I least expected].  Oh YES, I often realized that the advisories I have been giving in an unsolicited way are words that will help in encouraging others to make me feel like I am capable of handling even my fair share of challenges and problems💥💥💥

An insight here is that whenever I am giving advice to others, I do feel that SENSE OF CLARITY.  The worries that cloud my own mind seem to lift WHEN I focus on someone else's needs.  Indeed, that was always a reminder that we all need to hear positive words and that sometimes, we have to be the ones to say them [EVEN IF it's just to ourselves].  On the other hand, listening to others and offering advice helps me to see my own life from a different perspective.  I begin to understand that the strength and hope I give to others also lie within me.  And it's as though by helping them, I am helping myself to grow✅✅✅

Our takeaway: Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT implying that we'll scratch someone's back ONLY IF they scratch our back too. Counselling and advising is all about manifestations of words shared NOT just for others.  Those words remind us as well that we are NOT alone, that we are strong enough, and that, on our own, we can overcome our difficulties.  That's more than a 'shot in the arm' each time we SAY WORDS WE WANT TO HEAR as well😀😀😀

What's Your 'LONG GAME'

What's Your 'LONG GAME'

Ever since I can remember, zillion times I've been asked LONG-GAME questions without realizing it.  I thought they were just expressions, colloqials or just no brainers.  Mea culpa, I missed that out, to appreciate the value of those questions.  BUT besides blaming myself, I asked myself, should I be SOLELY culpable for this miss?   BUT I came up with realizations, albeit late and overdue.  So, let's ask ourselves, What's Your 'LONG GAME'📗📙📘

I realized THAT no one in our past schools were we taught to develop that LONG-GAME mindset.  And THAT was never even discussed in dinner tables.  And THAT was neither discussed during those times you socialized with your associates OR even your own coterie of friends.  Unfortunately, late as it may be now, that LONG-GAME mindset is a decision-making approach that focuses on the long-term outcomes and impact of your decisions💧💧💧

True, in many points in our life, we're faced with decisions that go beyond short-term impact.  In those situations, we can choose to cut some corners and make a quick decision without thinking much about HOW it will play out later on.  OR we can take a more structured approach and project HOW it will look like in the long-term.  True, most of the times, we're dealing with trivial decisions that have short-term consequences.  Do I have lunch right now OR in an hour?  Do a quick stop at my parents on the way home OR spend more time with them this weekend???

BUT when we're faced with decisions that challenge our status quo, we're forced to project WHERE we want to be in the future.  And all of a sudden, our core values would then be tested and even our profound beliefs are there on the deck.  WHAT's next?  We then need to switch gears to a LONG-GAME mindset.  YES, to borrow the jargon of psychologists, the LONG-GAME is a decision-making approach that focuses on the long-term outcomes and impact of our decisions💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  LONG-GAME decisions start a chain reaction of events.  If you're still in school and you DON'T study enough, barely getting passing grades, then getting a higher degree becomes more difficult.  Then a giant chicken and egg problem begins.  True, better job opportunities require either experience OR strong credentials BUT without good credentials, it becomes harder to get good experience, it goes on and on.  Dude, let us brace for the LONG-GAME in life, there's just NO other way😗😗😗

Pull The Brakes And PAUSE

Pull The Brakes And PAUSE

Prior to the Covid-10 Pandemic hitting us hard, I was right there in the middle of the rat race, driving two hours one way from home to work and close to three hours coming home from work at the end of the day [because of the chronic traffic gridlock].  So, you SHOULDN'T be surprised if I was always looking forward to the next weekend, for a respite.  Alas, even after the Covid-19 Pandemic has finally ended, I am truly blessed because our organization continues to allow our workforce to work via the hybrid work from home model.  YET, we still need to Pull The Brakes And PAUSE📗📙📘

Alas, PAUSING seems to be the most valuable life skill there is.  WHY?  For so many reasons, PAUSING gives us that respite from the frenetic pace of our day-to-day activities.  WHO can claim that he/she lives a slow-paced laid back daily life [UNLESS one is into his retirement phase by now?]📌📌📌

NOT to egg me to hard-sell here BUT PAUSING does create that 'magical space' WHERE the path we're on can suddenly take a turn for the better.  YES, it can be a game changer.  BUT it DOESN'T come naturally though.  Being able to PAUSE requires enough mindfulness to recognize WHEN it's needed.  And then it takes even more mindfulness within the PAUSE [itself] to observe WHERE we're at and discern HOW to proceed from thereon.  YES, it seems easier [and messier] to plow right through instead.  We've all been there, done that.  And the worst things I've said quite a few times have been those times WHEN I felt too absorbed in my own state to take a beat💧💧💧

YES, when there is NO PAUSE, there will be NO reckoning.  Instead, it can be a scene and it's NO small feat to stop that locomotive train in motion.  And the only way that I know to hone our ability to PAUSE and step back is to practice building those skills in less emotionally charged times, that is, to dabble in meditation as a way to build mindfulness muscles, so to speak.  YES, eventually you will realize you've come a long way since then💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  All these are verbose words that are much easier said than done.  And I admit that in the past, I would recurringly disconnect and sometimes recklessly rampage from time to time BUT in those TINY TIMEOUTS, I would take a deep breath, or leave the room OR remember my mantra for the day to FIND PAUSE IN THE CONSTANT MOTION OF LIFE.  It's all about PULLING THE BRAKES and PAUSE😍😍😍

Perspective As The Differentiator

Perspective As The Differentiator

A widespread picture represents two individuals standing on either side of the number 9 that has been drawn on the floor.  For one person, it appears as number 6 and for another, it's the number 9.  So, WHO is right OR wrong?  Obviously, they are both right YET they are both wrong n the eyes of another individual, all simply because of the viewing perspective.  This is the simplest example we can have today showing how Perspective As The Differentiator📙📘

With a situation as simple as this, if people can simply understand that a life PERSPECTIVE can be changed, molded OR explained, this global village we live in can indeed be a better place for us all.  All fights, conflicts and quarrels can be all quelled, if only if the protagonists can see things from another person's PERSPECTIVE.  NOW, how can we help create a breakthrough for this standoff, this impasse?  WHY CAN'T we understand how PERSPECTIVE really means in reality?  The 6 and 9 example is the best way to understand HOW you see life and approach it💎💎💎

It's true to easily come across debates that revolve around this contentious thing and WHAT exacerbates things are the polarizing debates going on, whether it's on politics, finance OR even relationships.  And anything that has two sides to the story OR binary thinking.  knock-knock, social media creeps in and we have a ball game at hand as in social media, it seems easy to pick a side and find opinions that line up with WHAT you believe.  BUT WHAT IF we play the role of a 'neutral person'  WHO WON'T pick sides so that you can see the arguments and reasons from two differing PERSPECTIVES💦💦💦

WHILE one side sees life from the PERSPECTIVE of 'anything goes as long as it makes you happy', another side sees life as 'there are boundaries one should NOT cross at all'.  At this point, there will be two PERSPECTIVES that are valid enough.  And both of them are right in their choices and saying one is wrong is an unsupportable stance.  WHEN we define PERSPECTIVE, it is always important to consider others as well.  With more than 8 billion people in the world, there is a sizable number of people WHO see things in a different light✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Simply making a 'SWITCH' and attempting to see things from a different PERSPECTIVE could help solve many of the problems we have been enduring.  At the end of the day, your PERSPECTIVE on life determines HOW you to relate to people, HOW you handle relationships and even disconnects.  You may NOT realize HOW important your PERSPECTIVE on life is because we often feel that as long as other people's opinions DON'T affect us, ours should NOT affect others as well.  That's PERSPECTIVE AS THE DIFFERENTIATOR💥💥💥

Those DISRUPTORS Called LIFEQUAKES

Those DISRUPTORS Called LIFEQUAKES

Surely, this has happened to each of us a couple of times in our life.  Just WHEN life seems to be going smoothly, a big, scary event comes along that threatens to ruin everything, in fact, throwing a monkey wrench in your otherwise normal looking life. Sadly, it could anything that seems earthshaking.  A frightening medical diagnosis, a relationship breakup, a financial crisis, the death of a loved one, a job loss.  All Those DISRUPTORS Called LIFEQUAKES📗📙📘

So suddenly, in a moment, your life seems to have turned upside down WHEN you really least expected it.  I'm NOT sure about you BUT my own life story has been quite full of significant life changes over time.  Whether it's getting uprooted from your home country and trying to assimilate into a culture that was so foreign to you, OR just hitting rough financial straits [and that's besides a job loss [WHEN you are residing in foreign land], all those were recipes for LIFEQUAKES💦💦💦

YES, for me to go through all those major seismic and tectonic plate movements in my life, to admit that those were stressful times will be a gross understatement.  And as if we DON'T have enough of those LIFEQUAKES, that Covid-`9 Pandemic hit us all.  By today, we all know majority of us did survive it but there were a few unfortunate souls WHO did not survive the pandemic, sadly.  Coupled with other unpleasant surprises in life, sometimes you would dwell in disgust WHY LIFEQUAKES happen💧💧💧

YES, we need posters like this, to cheer us up, to remind us that WHEN the chips are down, first things first, let us pick up the pieces all over the place.  Indeed, I've come to this realization that learning to master all these LIFEQUAKES of daunting challenges may be the most crucial skill we need to reinforce within ourselves [and that's regardless of age].  BUT what matters to us today is HOW to navigate all these life DISRUPTORS called LIFEQUAKES as all these do strike us at the very core of our being.  YES, we feel scared, overwhelmed and stuck, leading to a 'MEANING CRISIS' [that feeling of MEANINGLESSNESS]😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  All these LIFEQUAKES can come in different forms and shapes BUT regardless, it will hit us hard, leaving us hard choices to make like leaving behind a bad marriage OR something that happens way beyond our control such as losing your job OR facing an illness.  BUT regardless of HOW it comes about, the key here is that the transition itself must be voluntary.  We must work to turn our fear and anxiety into something positive and preferably, life-affirming.  Borrowing the experts' jargon, we need to develop those 'TRANSITION' phases because in life, those phases DON'T always happen via straight lines and sometimes, the order and sequence is as chaotic as it can be.  THOSE DISRUPTORS CALLED LIFEQUAKES, yes, we need to grab the bull by its horns, dude💥💥💥

There Is LIFE WITHIN LIFE

There Is LIFE WITHIN LIFE

Often, we would hear that LIFE is WHAT happens WHEN you're busy making other plans.  You can have an idea in your head of HOW you want things to go, BUT that DOESN'T mean the world will listen.  Factually, some things are unpredictable and YES, sometimes, some things just DON'T work out [and it's frustrating].  To throw a monkey wrench in our chaotic world, sometimes, even grief puts our world in slow motion.  And sometimes your life flashes before your eyes when a part of it ends.  And sometimes, it feels like the world has been flipped over, as if Earth has grown tired of spinning.  BUT hey, as they say, There Is LIFE WITHIN LIFE📘📙📗

YES, as the popular therapist says, some things are OUT of our control and some things just CAN'T be changed.  That's why therapists do interject RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, for us to focus on the things we do have control over even WHEN it's hard.  In fact, we're counselled that in difficult times, ACCEPTANCE is the first step towards healing.  Whether it should be the first step OR not is immaterial but we need to understand that ACCEPTING something DOESN'T mean you like it and it DOESN'T mean you're NOT working to change it💧💧💧

YES, things DON'T always work out the way you expect.  And while it's true I had my fair share of opportunities of hobnobbing with Tier-1 and Tier-2 folks, I did go through the wringers in life, struggling and surviving to eke out WHAT's left of me.  If there's one thing I squarely disagree, it's this reasoning that WHEN it comes to people WHO struggle financially, some say it's their fault, that they're lazy, weak, that they deserve to be poor.  BUT that's farthest from the truth.  You could be financially stable now and living a stable life BUT when lightning strikes, like when you get hit with serious health issues, knock on wood, you could quickly run out of options in containing that situation💦💦💦

And WHEN does LIFE WITHIN LIFE kicks in?  That's WHEN the safety nets in LIFE do kick in.  And with a support structure from within your family circle, that will be a 'shot in the arm'.  And third world cultures seem built for this.  BUT how many of us can lean on such support structures?  Especially in the western world where cultures dictate upon each one to be standing on their own feet even way before they even reach the legal age of 18💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  LIFE should not and NEVER be in 'auto pilot'.  Surely, you'll hit those bumps and humps and WHAT matters is how you handle and manage such outliers from unexpected fallouts.  That's when you need that 'shot in the arm' to inject LIFE WITHIN LIFE.  WHY?  Because LIFE CAN'T and SHOULDN'T go standstill.  LIFE has to go on.  You CAN'T get stuck regardless if all the cards are stacked because THERE IS LIFE WITHIN LIFE [you DON'T want to lose by default, dude]😊😊😊