Are You Overlooking Your NEEDS?

Are You Overlooking Your NEEDS?

Are You Overlooking Your NEEDS?  The mother of all ironies is that we live in societies that praises people for putting their needs last and no more than that.  In short, everyone in our society expects a SELFLESS act from us.  YES it's true that there are times in life WHEN we have to be SELFLESS but again, this CAN'T be an everyday occurrence.  BUT if there's a mix-up that keeps happening, let's NOT confuse SELFLESSNESS with compassion📗📙📘

BUT what compromises SELFLESSNESS is WHEN we manifest our COMPASSION but having said that, you DON'T need to give every single piece of yourself.  NOW, let's accept reality, that we have a society that makes us feel validated for putting our needs last.  Praise is given to the person WHO always put others' needs before their own, to the person WHO shows up at work NO matter WHAT is going on in their personal lives.  Then, we'll commend that person as a 'GREAT PLAYER'???

Reality again is that at home, NOT all the time BUT usually the woman is praised for putting the needs of her children and partner before her own, sometimes even the needs of the pets would come first, whew.  At the workplace, we are even praised for killing ourselves for a job that would replace us tomorrow.  Extra hours, working on weekends and NOT taking medical leaves even WHEN you're sick, oh oh that makes us stand out against the crowd WHEN it comes to the eventual promotion of employees in the organization.  BUT the thing is, almost everyone of us did embrace these practices in society💦💦💦

On the other hand, we tend to stuff down our frustrations OR negative emotions as we DON'T WANT to upset other people.  Instead, our own NEEDS and health end up being pushed over to the back burner so that we can ensure that the NEEDS of others are met and that they are happy.  REALLY?  BUT WHAT about us?  WHY do we think it is ok to push ourselves all the way to the edges leading us to the breaking point???

Our takeaway:  The undeniable truth is that NO one else can be responsible for meeting all our needs.  And most people WHO try [and unfortunately, many inevitably fail]. are dealing with and licking their very own wounds, fulfilling some kind of 'savior complex' that resulted from childhood trauma.  Bottom line is that IF we want to feel happy, worthy and loved, we have to take full responsibility for meeting those needs for ourselves.  That DOESN'T mean we CAN'T also form relationships with people WHO see our worth,  Just that we WON'T depend on their perception to maintain their own.  And we WON'T require anything from them to fill up our cup because we'll NOT only have the awareness and tools to do it ourselves BUT the confidence that we truly deserve it😃😃😃

When's Your BEST GAME? Only In FAIR WEATHER?

When's Your BEST GAME?  Only In FAIR WEATHER?

When's Your BEST GAME?  Only In FAIR WEATHER?  So, you might ask, how the hell I thought of this thread today?  Simple.  An hour ago, I watched the NBA Game 2 playoff game between the over-rated Boston Celtics versus the underdogs and severely undermanned Miami Heat.  And with their back against the wall [due to their Game 1 loss], Miami Heat turned things around by grabbing Game 2, thus steeling home advantage📗📙📘

So, the question that popped out in my mind was this.  WHEN IS YOUR BEST GAME?  Does it happen only in FAIR WEATHER?  Quite an interesting topic considering that many times in our lives, we are expected [either by default OR by setting goals] to perform at a certain level to lead us towards outcomes OR results at par with our pre-set goals.  BUT how often we come across situations WHEREIN we're we seem to be performing so well when the 'sun is shining and dandy???

Let's have a relevant analogy here.  As parents, HOW and WHEN do we make our presence felt?  Is it during shopping sprees?  During dine-outs?  During holidays?  HOW about when a family member is medically stricken with an illness?  HOW about when you were financially strapped and in dire financial straits, WHERE WERE you and HOW were you performing your responsibilities expected of you?  WHEN the storm comes raging, WHEN there is a heavy downpour, WHEN the floods have submerged half of the community, HOW were you, HOW was your performance as a person???

WHAT are the realities of life?  Emergencies.  State of panic.  Helplessness.  Bad situations turning from worse to worst.  Unexpected developments turning from positive to negative situations.  Accidents.  AOG [Acts of God, e.g. natural calamities].  Pandemic.  Regardless of the severity of the situation we are IN right now, it behooves that we should perform AT PAR regardless of the odds💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Please allow me to piggy-back on that old cliche Let us always PREPARE FOR THE RAINY DAYS [because the sun is NOT always shining and dandy].  In the roller coaster and rough and tumble journey in life, WHAT becomes more crucial is HOW we PERFORM and/or DELIVER during the most challenging phases in our life. True, your best performances during FAIR WEATHER will count BUT remember, human nature tells us that we tend to vividly remember more your SLIP-UPs?  So, let's 'UP THE ANTE' even way beyond just fair weather❗❗❗

Who Says Scammers Are Gone?

Who Says Scammers Are Gone?

Who Says Scammers Are Gone?  I myself, there is NO week that passes with my mobile phone not receiving SMS messages advising me that:

YOUR PARCEL WILL BE DELIVERED etc etc???

WE'RE PROCESSING YOUR PAYMENT etc???

YOUR MCAFFEE WILL BE AUTO-RENEWED???Oh Oh Oh, this iteration will never cease to end.  Instead, expect this mile-long list of scamming incidents to increase by a thousand-fold💥💥💥

BUT let us NOT belittle or understate how smart and crafty these scammers are.  In fact and in truth, they are going alongside with anything that's going on with technology.  Talk about AI and ChatGPT, they're into it.  Do you know that their latest scam initiatives are AI-powered?  HOW?  By creating deepfakes of celebrities to trick victims into thinking they're investing in a good company or project.  BY  impersonating the victim's friend OR relative to ask for money as part of a 'grandparent' scam😡😡😡

BY tapping the education market.  HOW?  Let's do a sampling of the 'STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS' scams as this creates a ripe opportunity for scammers.  The scammers know people want to believe their student loans will be forgiven and they'll use that HOPE for their personal gains.  For example, scammers may contact via phone or create phony application sites aimed at stealing the student's personal information or even his bank account information.  They may put pressure on their victims with FAKE urgent messages that encourage you to apply for debt relief "BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE"❎❎❎

BY phone scams.  Scammers may contact by phone and some 'phone scams' rely on smartphones' capabilities to access the internet and even install MALWARE.  That could include:

• ROBOCALLS - That will trigger phones to be ringing nonstop with increasingly natural-sounding recorded voices.  They would then offer everything OR even issue threats to try and get your attention
• IMPERSONATORS - Scammers will impersonate IRS/IRAS/BIR [that's government revenue agencies] 

• QR CODES - Beware.  These convenient codes have gained popularity as a touchless option to do things like read a restaurant menu OR make a payment.  BUT these scammers will place QR CODES in inconspicuous spots and scanning the code could prompt you to make a small purchase or enter your credentials on a look-alike site
• SIM SWAPPING - This technique is used by a thief to reassign your number to a SIM card in a phone they control.  They can then try to log in to your accounts using codes OR links sent to your phone number.

Our takeaway:  These scams can take many forms BUT the scammers often impersonate a well-known company [such as a bank] OR 'dirty tactics' like sowing FEAR [to force you to take immediate actions].  WHO SAYS SCAMMERS ARE GONE???

Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!

Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!

I'll be the first one to admit that I am NOT good [at all] at asking for HELP.  Looking back, even during my childhood, I was fairly independent.  Probably, I was brought about that way by our family's day-to-day circumstances WHERE my parents were constantly attempting to 'let both ends meet' [more often, to NO avail].  So, probably, that perfectionist attitude got stuck with me since then.  Either way, I wanted to do everything 'RIGHT' and on a different plane, I wanted to do things all by myself.  BUT Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!  WHY?  WHILE this mindset of self-sufficiency can be beneficial on some fronts, it can very easily swing to the harmful side of things from a HELP-HURT scale perspective.  And I'd like to admit my mea culpa during those times when I refused to seek HELP, find HELP📗📙📘

To a fault, we can partly blame our respective cultures, especially the western culture WHO teaches us all to be fiercely individualistic.  We are taught to pull ourselves by the bootstraps and keep going even in the most difficult situations.  BUT that mindset leaves people suffering all by themselves, without a support system to turn in their most difficult times.  WHEN Covid-19 pandemic hit us all straight from the cold, there was widespread consensus that people were experiencing an epidemic of loneliness and the amount of people with no close friends kept multiplying, year on year, and the numbers hit alarming levels📌📌📌

In the 90s, the popular and fan-favorite show was 'FRIENDS' but today, that would quite unrealistic because generally, people simply DON'T have that many friends anymore [especially in western countries].  Sadly, this is a stark and sad contrast to the way things have been in the past.  Just last weekend, I had a 'mini reunion' with classmates from my elementary and high school days because we did cherish friendships that much💦💦💦

Post-pandemic, mental health issues hit way beyond the ceilings.  And for us with NO mental health issues, let's think about those enduring their mental health issues.  Imagine if even simple tasks like getting out of bed OR washing the dishes seem like too much.  Pitifully, due to shame and stigma, many mentally ill people DON'T even speak up about their needs, either OR ask for the help they need.  Even in a professional setting, WHAT we often hear is the advice that we should be able to get better on our own and that medications are a crutch.  Unfortunately, even for many WHO live a better life these days, many of them still struggle to find happiness in their daily life💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  If things are NOT going awry and YET we are in that pitiful predicament of unhappiness, let us figure things out.  HOW can we be content in life and YET WHAT explains if things are still so bad and so hard?  This is WHERE reaching out for HELP matters especially if making simple mindful alterations in your daily routine DOESN'T help at all.  Taking antidepressants is NOT the final fix if indeed we need HELP.  We just need to adjust to the idea of needing a little extra HELP to give our brain the opportunity to feel a little more emotion and as we begin to accept this, life might just throw a new curve ball right back in your face.  And indeed, SOMETIMES WE NEED HELP💥💥💥

Trust The Process

Trust The Process

Question:  Anyone PATIENT in the room now?  Unfortunately, many of us DON'T really practice or manifest PATIENCE.  We order a McDonalds meal via mobile apps.  Presto, in 30 to 60 minutes, we'll get it even without leaving home.  That's really how to Trust The Process.  Problem is, because of all these mobile apps facilitating, everything SEEMS immediate.  We just expect things immediately.  Otherwise, something is WRONG.  And if we DON'T see it, it must NOT be there.  Problem is, WHAT you see OR DON'T see is hardly ever the whole picture.  Our vision tends to be limited.  Our eyes AREN'T a reliable source of truth, unfortunately📘📙📗

Problem is, we're blind to the reality of things.  We tend to fixate on the wrong things because we expect to see the fruition of WHAT we do within a given timeframe.  The thing is, we DON'T reap in the same season we sow.  And the price we pay for this is we tend to allow DOUBT and DISBELIEF to creep in.  We then become fearful and begin to lose faith and eventually, WHAT happens next is we GIVE UP📌📌📌

Now, let's take an analogy with the bamboo where, for its first 4 years, it's building its foundations via its roots.  And if we DON'T see the shoots after quite sometime, that's enough [?] for us to believe that that seed is dead [?] OR we end up deducing something went wrong and then, we GIVE UP.  Analogy here is that the bigger the building, the deeper the foundations.  The taller the tree, the deeper the roots.  In essence, you CAN'T trust WHAT you see OR DON'T see.  In fact, studies show that 90 percent of the time, there's more to see, OR, you just CAN'T see WHAT you need to.  Thing is, you only REAP AFTER YOU SOW.  So, you might ask, is it worth to TRUST THE PROCESS?  The short and long answer there is, IT DEPENDS.  WHAT are you trying to grow?  Our lessons in life tell us that your expectations have to be relative and proportional to your desired outcome.  The development time is proportional to the size of the output💦💦💦

As an analogy again, if you want to grow a patch of grass, then fine.  You DON'T need to do much, right?  DON'T expect it to take too long.  BUT you CAN'T have the same expectations if you want to grow an oak tree.  To make things simple, if you want to build a tent, expect it to take between 10 to 30 minutes, assuming you have all the needed equipments and accessories.  BUT you got to remember that that tent CAN'T and WON'T withstand the fury of a storm [or even a heavy rain, I guess].  Rain OR cold, it's NOT even a long-term solution.  And if you want a long-term solution, you know a brick house is best BUT it will take 100 times the effort and time to finish💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  There is NO perfect thing beyond dreams.  If you want to cook a meal to satisfy your hunger, yes, pronto, that microwave food is the best option.  BUT better be forewarned that that food will NOT taste nice enough OR be as healthy as a home cook meal [which obviously needs more investment in terms of time and energy to cook and prepare it]. Bottomline, ask yourself, do you want a patch of grass OR an oak tree?  A short-term tent OR a long-term house?  A frozen pizza will be quicker.  BUT a home-cooked meal will taste much better.  WHAT this tells us is that substantial things in life take time.  It takes time to learn a new instrument and even decades to master a craft.  Thing is, let us TRUST THE PROCESS, no less than that💥💥💥

Don't Let Go Of The Rope

Don't Let Go Of The Rope

Sometimes, everyone of us would feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and we then feel like just GIVING UP [when everything seems to be crumbling through our shoulders].  And we CAN'T blame ourselves WHEN  we feel like life is falling apart and we DON'T know WHAT to do.  BUT DON'T LET GO OF THE ROPE📗📙📘

So, WHAT can a person do WHO sees life falling apart right before his very eyes?  YES YES YES, I've been through that wringer many times in the past and I have figured out WHEN one comes across those rough times, it's like 'manna from heaven' to have that one person to be there.  And that person could make anybody better even on the worst day of their life.  BUT it's true that some people are NOT as lucky to have a person like this OR NOT yet at least💦💦💦

Truth is, some of the hardest things in life are the greatest things and are obtained by NEVER giving up.  If everything was so easy, then, trust me, everybody would be doing it.  Makes sense?  NO matter HOW rough things get, we can still push through and find a way to get past those rough times.  If everyone gave up WHEN things get rough, WHERE would our country and our world be today?  WOULD our soldiers just give up WHEN they have to walk a couple of miles in the heat to help rescue hostages caught in the midst of the crossfires?  WOULD it even be very much fun to watch professional sports if a player gets a little bit ahead of the other so that they would GIVE UP on chasing them down and letting them score instead?  WHAT happens when a single parent is having trouble raise their teenage son and they are in trouble all the time?  Does that parent just GIVE UP on them and blurt DO WHAT YOU WANT📌📌📌

This is WHERE I will vociferously intervene and scream categorically that we just CAN'T GIVE UP on anything.  WHETHER it be friends even WHEN they are going through rough times.  OR even dreams and all the hopes and future goals we have for ourselves.  The very core of all core things here is to remember are all the hopes and future goals we have pre-set for ourselves.  And that NO matter HOW hard things get, just DON'T GIVE UP on life because here's a blanket guarantee you can quote from me:  WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO GO BUT UP✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  This is my first-person testimonial.  Many times in the past, I went through NOT just the pain but the scary feeling that I had NO choice but to LET GO OF THE ROPE.  BUT I was my own 'worst enemy' because each time I was kind of fallen on the ground, I would ask myself, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LET GO OF THE ROPE?  After all my efforts and sacrifices [and the precious resource called 'TIME'], will everything just go for naught solely because I am [FINALLY] GIVING UP?  Of course, I was always my own devil's advocate blurting out 'NO WAY, JOSE'. I WON'T LET GO OF THE ROPE, NOT now when I have invested so much of myself❗❗❗

Listen MORE To Yourself [MORE Than Listening To Others]

Listen MORE To Yourself [MORE Than Listening To Others]

Fear and anxiety about life are challenges for every individual.  And talking about SELF-CONFIDENCE, everyone else would tell us to listen to ourselves in the same way we need to follow WHAT our conscience tells us.  And WHO else will disagree THAT we should listen to our own conscience 100 percent of the time because there is no better alternative to this.  So let us Listen MORE To Yourself [MORE Than Listening To Others]📗📙📘

It's different if we only depend on the thoughts in our heads.  True, the mind has indications to reveal untruths.  The mind has indications of NOT speaking the truth.  As a result, we state something that is NOT based on facts.  BUT WHAT many of us learned to date in life, WHEN an individual wants to make a decision and he does NOT use his conscience BUT only relies on the thoughts in his head then the results of the decision tend to be based on emotional decisions, instead of coming up with an objective decision💥💥💥

Way back those times when I was about to finish from college, I started diving into a new pool in life.  New friendship.  New opportunities.  And I had to be able to find new ways so that I can easily adapt to the evolving environments WHICH were mostly new to me.  Those times, many dilemmas kept creeping into my mind every night, sometimes ending up in nightmarish dreams.  Admittedly, I DIDN'T know the cause.  Maybe I WASN'T listening to myself then, NOT following WHAT I want.  In the end, I seemed to be like another doubting 'Thomas'💦💦💦

In the end, by doubting myself as an individual, I felt that I was lacking in self-confidence.  BUT adulthood is a time WHEN every individual is looking for one's identity, WHAT comes close to the heels is SELF-CONFIDENCE, WHICH will bring us wisdom in making decisions, WHICH will give us that courage to say something true, WHICH will lead us to sincerity.  BUT enhancing self-confidence is NOT just about you talking a lot WHEN in a discussion forum.  It's NOT just dominating❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Self-confidence is all about respect.  That ability to place yourself in the correct and balanced position.  NOT dominating and able to respect.  THAT anxiety that comes every night.  THAT dilemma about WHETHER the life we live is useful OR not, is caused by doubt and lack of confidence.  We must be always able to listen to ourselves because WHEN we succeed in listening to the basic things we want, that will pave the road leading towards enhancing our self-confidence.  Once you are leading towards that path, you would realize that you got to LISTEN MORE TO YOURSELF❗❗❗

DON'T Mix & Match LONELINESS Versus ALONENESS

DON'T Mix & Match LONELINESS Versus ALONENESS

Do you remember passing by just outside cinemas?  WHAT do we see 99 percent of the time?  YES, we would see groups chit-chatting, smoking, probably waiting for another person.  You could also often see pairs.  BUT try to attempt finding people who may seem to be 'loners' would likely be in vain.  It's AS IF there is a huge sign outside cinemas stating 'ONLY GROUPS ALLOWED', hew!  C'mon dude, DON'T Mix & Match LONELINESS Versus ALONENESS📗📘📙

WHAT's this?  It seems going to the movies alone is like stumbling into a bathroom of the opposite gender.  Honestly though, there's NOTHING wrong with it intrinsically BUT the dismissive looks and mismatched amenities will ensure that you would feel OUT OF PLACE.  So, WHY are we in that situation?  WHY can something that is technically open to anyone, like a cinema, feel so oppressive and alienating WHEN we DON'T comply with its implicit social norm?  By myself, my theory is that we tend to confuse being alone with feeling lonely.  BUT there's a huge ocean of difference there.  WHILE feeling lonely is the distress that arises WHEN we DON'T feel socially connected, being alone is the factual state of being without company, period.  LONELINESS is a personal feeling WHEREAS ALONENESS is a neutral circumstance, like it OR not💥💥💥

In this sense. LONELINESS is a lot more diverse than ALONENESS.  We can feel lonely NOT just WHEN we're alone BUT also in marriage, among friends, in large crowds.  ALONENESS, however, arises if [and ONLY IF] we're without immediate company.  And yet, we seem to have narrowed down that 'LONELY' stereotype to a person WHO is alone.  BUT all along. I felt that the concept of LONELINESS should include people WHO feel lonely even when with their spouse, family, friends💧💧💧

BUT if there's one thing we need to agree on, it's that different things work for different people at different times.  Only try WHAT you feel comfortable with, and try NOT to put too much pressure on yourself.  And IF something ISN'T working for you [OR it DOESN'T feel possible just now YET], you can always try something else OR come back to it another time.  BUT before anything else, we got to learn to be MORE comfortable in your very own company😂😂😂

Our takeaway: Sometimes, improving our relationships with ourselves as well as others can help us feel less lonely.  You may even find it helpful to start by thinking about WHAT self-care means to you [BUT take that that self-care looks different to everyone.  Thing is, DON'T MIX & MATCH LONELINESS VERSUS ALONENESS❎❎❎

"Health Is Wealth" [EXACTLY]!

"Health Is Wealth" [EXACTLY]!

Few months ago, I had a 'mini-reunion' with several classmates from way back my elementary and high school.  You'll be surprised, half of the hours of chats we had was spent about random recalls of our classmates.  And WHAT shocked was the long list of classmates WHO have either passed away or going through their respective health issues.  The recurring sad insight for those sad demises was that 100 percent of them died NOT because of accidents OR anything that's CSI-related BUT instead, all of them passed away because of various health-related issues.   This brings me to this realization that indeed  "Health Is Wealth" [EXACTLY]📗📙📘

WHAT does all these mean?  THAT bad HEALTH costs money.  And worst, THAT bad HEALTH costs our lives.  Now, you must have heard HEALTH IS WEALTH a zillion times.  YES, that gives a big meaning to our lives as health is considered the most valuable and precious aspect of every individual's life.  Indeed, the saying HEALTH IS WEALTH means that HEALTH is the biggest wealth anybody can have💥💥💥

YES, anything can be achieved if we have GOOD HEALTH and it is NOT enough to have money alone we can make good use of WEALTH only if we have GOOD HEALTH.  BTW, GOOD HEALTH does NOT mean OR refer only to the absence of disease in the body BUT a complete physical, mental, social as well as spiritual well-being of an individual.  WHO said "A MAN TOO BUSY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS HEALTH IS LIKE A MECHANIC TOO BUSY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS TOOLS"💦💦💦

HEALTH, being soundly considered as the BIGGEST WEALTH IN LIFE, brings desired happiness, enjoyment and pleasure.  This simply implies that HEALTH strongly influences a person's capability to enjoy the WEALTH which he/she might have amassed.  Just to state the obvious, let's rattle off the benefits of being HEALTHY: 

• All-round well-being.
• Reduced chances of depression.
• Increased changes of living longer.
• Having stronger muscles and bones.  
• Achieving a reinforced immunity from illnesses.

Our takeaway:  Let's ask ourselves, WHAT is more important than my overall well-being?  WHAT's the point of grinding and 'kicking your ass damn hard' [pardon this hyperbole] if at the end of the day, you will fall prey to various illnesses?  So, WHAT's the antidote.  I am NO expert but since I embraced a 'major change' in my HEALTH and lifestyle four months ago, I've been waking up early morning everyday and walk for one full hour to catch that Vitamin D from the early morning sunlight.  Yes, I have embraced the fact that HEALTH IS WEALTH😁😁😁

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad.  We might think this is NOT worth to be our thread today BUT me thinks this discussion thread deserves as much space as relationships because in fact and in truth, I'm quite sure that there are more friendships than relationships all rolled into one.  And let us NOT belittle the consequence and ramifications of FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPs because it could be as impactful as worst case scenarios we dread📗📙📘

Numbers DON'T lie.  In the U.S. alone, a recent study showed that 86% of teenagers in the U.S. have experienced various levels of friendship breakups.  Though we tend to think of BAD breakups as the end of romantic relationships, losing a friend , especially one WHO has been close to you, can be just as hard.  Research into attachment can help us make sense of WHY a friendship breakup can be devastating💢💢💢

I remember, as children, our most important relationships are with our parents OR caregivers. BUT during adolescence this changes.  This part of our genetic design, readying us to grow up and build adult lives independent of our parents.  We shift the person we most trust, rely on, and seek intimate contact with, to someone WHO is a romantic partner OR even a best friend.  A bond with a friend, your companion, confidante and co-traveller through big changes as you enter adulthood can be stronger than any other bond💦💦💦

In particular, women in particular tend to discuss personal issues with friends more than they do with family.  HOW often do we hear that friends provide ongoing stability even WHEN romantic relationships might come and go.  Having a BEST FRIEND is an important part of our healthy development.  So, it's NO wonder that it can rock your world if things go wrong with that person.  It can be especially disorienting IF you DIDN'T see it coming.  Even recent researches show that the most common method of ending a FRIENDSHIP is by avoidance, NOT addressing the issues involved.  Indeed, this can be a shock and the feeling of being rejected can hurt as much as physical pain😖😖😖

WHAT befuddles me is WHY do FRIENDSHIPS breakup?  Studies show that the biggest reasons for FRIENDSHIPS ending in young adulthood are physical separation, making new friends which replace old ones, growing to dislike the friend and interference due to dating OR marriage.  Visually imagine that scenario where there are three people and you're in the middle between the guy courting you and your bestie.  WHEN you come to terms with the guy courting you, literally, you significantly orbit much closer to him, widening that gap and distance between you and your bestie.  BUT FRIENDSHIPS DON'T have to end over changes like this, if you can try to empathize with WHAT your friend is going through rather than judging them OR taking it personally💥💥💥