How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

How's Your EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS?  Please DON'T get me wrong though.  I'm asking this question NOT to feign a teflon life because I had my fair share of all those unwieldy EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS.  And when EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS happen in relationships. that could be a real pain.  Imagine your partner/spouse said or did something struck your nerve❓❓❓

It's just normal to manifest that SURGE OF ANGER, just like a volcano about to erupt.  BUT instead of letting it out it's best that we stuff it down, lock it away in an EMOTIONAL DUNGEON and just shut it down there.  And then you would think you have matured by avoiding unnecessary fights BUT you will be proven WRONG though.  And that WON'T be helpful because that's a 'ticking time bomb'📗📙📘

And when you got a 'ticking time bomb' with you, definitely that will go off, leading to much bigger [and probably] messier arguments.  So HOW do we deal with our EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS?  First, let's agree that EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS are events, situations OR even words that cause intense emotional reactions within us💎💎💎

And we got to understand that a lot of those EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS can stem from past traumatic experiences, negative beliefs or fears.  Sadly, they can have a significant impact to our life because they can lead to emotional distress, relationship conflicts and worse even physical symptoms. By,  understanding EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS, we can gain insight into our reactions and patterns of behavior❎❎❎

This awareness should help us gain insight into our own reactions and patterns of behavior and correspondingly allows us to take more CONTROL of our emotions and respond in a healthier and more constructive way.  'SELF-REGULATION' is essential in managing EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS because it gives us the power to pause, reflect and choose how we want to react.  It empowers us to make conscious choices rather than being driven solely by emotions✅✅✅

You DON'T Need MUCH $$$$$ To Live A Good Life

You DON'T Need MUCH $$$$$ To Live A Good Life

Please allow me to start our thread today by sharing this SAD observation wherein I've seen countless people struggling to PROVE that they're making good money and living a GOOD LIFE.  Oh Oh.  WHEN will people understand that To Live A Good Life, you DON'T need to make good money.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong because WHO does NOT want to have good money💴💷💵

And we're NOT saying that money is NOT that important.  In fact, it is.  Money is the fuel that you need to drive your life.  BUT what's the point of having that fuel if you're using it only to show people HOW pretty your life car is, right?  I mean, in that case, you're NOT enjoying the ride anyway.  Very frankly, you're just stalking people with that money fuel to show off!@#$%?📗📙📘

Now, let's call a spade a spade.  NOT to be a kill-joy [a.k.a. KJ] BUT that 'life car' you're so proud of is also a 'RENTED' one.  Once your 'LIFE LEASE' is over, you gotta hand over it NO MATTER how pretty or beautiful it is.  And also, it DOESN'T matter how much money fuel you've got in your bank.  That just DOESN'T matter.  Because eventually you'll just have to let go of all of that💎💎💎

So, WHAT'S our takeaway for today? WHY don't we ENJOY LIFE while your LEASE [of LIFE] is still up?  Furthermore, NOT to mention, the biggest mistake people make is thinking that their life car runs only on "MONEY FUEL" @#$%?  No sirrrrrrrrrrs.  WHAT about 'TIME FUEL'?  You can still push your 'LIFE CAR' even with no 'MONEY FUEL' left, yes you can✅✅✅

Without 'TIME FUEL', you can only use your 'LIFE CAR' and 'MONEY FUEL' until you have got the 'TIME FUEL' in your stock.  Once that stock is finished, so is your 'LIFE LEASE', LIFE CAR, and MONEY FUEL.  And what's our worst mistake [and which mistake I was once guilty in the past]?  They are using precious and priceless TIME FUEL to chase MONEY FUEL.  Genuis, right?  BUT i DON'T want to commit that same mistake again.  In a nutshell, let us STOP living in the FEAR of missing out and START living in the joy of missing out because YOU DON'T NEED MUCH MONEY TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE❗❗❗

Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO?

Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO?

It's true, it's easier said than done.  I can keep pitching for LESSONS IN LIFE but it seems damn easy for me because I just need to BLOG IT OUT.  BUT WHAT IF you need to say NO to something?  Ironically, this two-letter word is one of the most difficult words to be translated into ACTION.  For many of us [and that includes moi till now], saying NO is packed with guilt.  BUT If You Don't Like It, Do Something About It, right❓❓❓

In many cases, we are afraid of disappointing someone especially if that someone is your BFF, your spouse/partner, your boss, your client.  OR maybe we happen to be a 'people pleaser'?  NO matter the reasons, learning how to say NO is an important skill for your own well-being.  Our time and energy are precious resources that we should use wisely.  And that means we CAN'T do everything.  WHAT we need to agree on is declining certain requests is sometimes better than just saying a token YES!@#$%?📗📙📘

To figure out our struggles in frankly saying NO, sometimes it stems back to our childhood when from an early age, children are taught to be polite and forthcoming.  If a parent or teacher asked a child to do something, saying NO was interpreted as a form of disobedience.  In some cases, refusing an adult meant punishment or a negative reinforcement.  However, this can cause issues around communication and self-assertion💎💎💎

Being raised to say NO is bad makes it difficult for children to communicate their preferences.  For example, this inability to SPEAK UP for themselves continues into adulthood [and this is alarming].  Another reason you may find it difficult to say NO is doubt❎❎❎

Psychologists have coined 'IMPOSTER SYNDROME' as something that impacts a good number of people as it is that condition of feeling anxious and NOT experiencing success internally. despite high-performing in external and objective ways.  At the end of the day, we got to break up our inability [OR hesitation] to say NO even for the most valid reason.  Saying NO is To Tough BUT What If We Got To Say NO❓❓❓

LIFE Is SHORT. Why Live It The BORING WAY?

LIFE Is SHORT.  Why Live It The BORING WAY?

LIFE Is SHORT.  Why Live It The BORING WAY.  BTW, most of us DON'T want to live life the boring way BUT unconsciously, many end up on the wrong side of the road by simply NOT being aware.  WHEN people want to do what everybody else is doing.  WHEN they want to take that old path.  WHEN they want to be part of the crowd📗📙📘

Unfortunately, more often than not, the outcome is the same.  It is all because we care too much about other's OPINIONS.  WHEN we live by other's OPINIONS, we end up taking DECISIONS by keeping the OPINIONS in our mind.  We even end up with that FEAR what others will tell us.  And eventually, we become that obedient, nice and good guy in the community.  WHAT happens next?  Nobody cares as in NOBODY.  Because so many people are just the same.  So you are in the crowd of some directionless sheep that's just doing WHAT the majority is doing💊💊💊

And, the mother of all ironies is that we still expect the world to care about us?  One writer said:  ON YOUR DEATHBED, THE ONLY THING YOU WILL CARE ABOUT IS NOT PEOPLE'S OPINIONS AT ALL.  That will matter the least.  The only thing you will look up to is your JOURNEY and IF that DOESN'T make you happy, fulfilled and proud, you will have NOTHING other than a bucket full of regrets on your deathbed📌📌📌

The very hard core reality we need to face is that the ONLY thing you will have is your JOURNEY  and we should make sure it is worth remembering.  And to quote a poet, THE UNIVERSE REWARDS A REBEL.  One who DOESN'T give a 'shit' about people's opinions.  One WHO lives life on his OWN TERMS.  And one who is up for 'something crazy'.  You may NOT like them BUT you DO respect them💎💎💎

So what makes our life BORING?  We're satisfied with OUR job, OUR income, OUR relationship, OUR plan.  So when we're satisfied [which supposedly is fine], we end up okay and contented.  Flip side of it, we being to abhor GROWTH, simply because we fear CHANGE.  And that makes our life terribly BORING.  But hey, your GROWTH has NO limits, NO boundaries.  Our final thoughts:  WE ALL HAVE TWO LIVES.  THE SECOND BEINGS ONCE WE REALIZE WE HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE❗❗❗

WARNING: Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE

WARNING:  Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE

Believe it OR not, our everyday habits decide our FUTURE selves.  Even those small intentional choices made over a period of time decide what your future will look like.  LIFE LESSONS are full of wisdom because they are learned the HARD WAY.  Different phases of life teach us different lessons.  This is a WARNING with regard some HARD  Lessons We Learn LATE IN LIFE📗📙📘

To quote an anonymous writer's captivating equation, "between B[birth] and D[death] is C[choice].  So, this equation tells us that we always have a CHOICE in life.  You can CHOOSE to decide what is going to be your NEXT STEP in creating the life you want.  Utilizing this underrated POWER of CHOICE every time we make a DECISION can help us reach one step closer to what's ideal💎💎💎

Here's what we learn LATE IN LIFE:

• FEAR of what others say or think
• WAITING TO RETIRE to live the life you want
• TAKING for granted your mind and body
• STOPPING to learn & invest in new skills
• Missing out the 'COMPOUNDING' power

And across many studies, two lessons most often LEARNED LATE IN LIFE:

• EXPECTING TOXIC PEOPLE TO CHANGE - And the recommendation of experts is once you encounter a person who is nothing but TOXIC, the next step is to maintain a significant distance from them OR a complete CUT-OFF.  There's this quote:  A SNAKE NEVER FORGETS TO BITE BECAUSE IT'S SIMPLY INGRAINED IN ITS NATURE

• NEGATIVE SELF-TALK CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE as it is one's INNER DIALOGUE with oneself that may be limiting one's ability to believe in oneself and one's abilities to reach one's potential.  While we are our own CRITICS [because nobody knows us better than us] BUT NEGATIVE SELF-TALK can drag us down and as per studies, it can wreck one's mental health and cause depression and anxiety

Can we LEARN THESE LESSONS EARLIER THAN LATER, IN LIFE❓❓❓

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER

Our Journey From BEGINNER to LEADER is something that is nice to think and dream at the start BUT if we have 'fallen off the cliff', looking back could be quite a nightmare.  BUT we should NOT get bogged down with those slippages.  Instead, WHAT if we draw from Zen Buddhism's "BEGINNER's MIND" idea that the best solutions emerge when we let go of all thoughts and our desire for achievement💴💷💵

Taking a leaf from ZEN BUDDHISM, when we are starting off that long ladder of our journey in life, we are encouraged to adopt an attitude of OPENNESS and CURIOSITY, delighting in learning something new constantly.  And then as a stepping stone, each time we LEARN something, no matter how minor it is, we need to use that hard-earned knowledge as a foundation to explore new possibilities, no matter how knowledgeable we are, and NOT as a barrier to keep things out📗📙📘

To quote researchers, "BEGINNER'S MIND IS AN EXPERT LEADER", a paradox that drives progress.  Experts also claim that a "BEGINNER'S MIND" is compassion in action because it excludes preconceived notions and judgments of HOW things should be.  Instead, they claim that BEGINNERS have that mindset that enables to foster the connection, trust and innovation that needs to thrive💎💎💎

So, even as BEGINNERS, we are encouraged to identify our own Top 5 or Top 10 situations that will automatically move you to rely on HOW you've always done things and to shut out new possibilities.  And once you're coming to learn a new SKILL or exploring a new field, apply that newly acquired SKILLS in practical terms.  As they say, the "BEGINNER's MIND" is about seeing things anew, free from the bias of past triumphs or even failures✅✅✅

WHAT's our takeaway today?  THAT as we thrive in life, it can't be scripted.  THAT this is when authenticity thrives.  THAT as we keep engaged in the learning process, we will grow despite the slip-ups and failures along the way.  THAT as we continue that JOURNEY from being a BEGINNER to a LEADER, humility of acquiring new knowledge must prevail even as we evolve from a BEGINNER to a LEADER❗❗❗

It's Nice To Be Nice BUT...

 It's Nice To Be Nice BUT...

It's Nice To Be Nice BUT... How often have we heard:  "WOW, SHE'S NICE, SHE BRINGS FOOD TO THE PARTY" or... "BILL IS SO NICE, HE ALWAYS HELPS ME OUT IN MY HOMEWORK".  Surely you have heard phrases and PRAISES similar to these  about NICE people.  And please DON'T get me wrong.  Being NICE is NOT bad OR wrong.  But studies who dug deep into these NICE manifestations all ended up with the same conclusion that most of those NICETIES are seemingly selfish acts of kindness that do deserve praise💴💷💵

BUT here's a dampening share.  According to studies, most NICE people are merely signaling their NICENESS.  THAT they aren't good people in reality BUT they are just great at SIGNALING.  And the researches opine that many of us [likely including me sometimes] are so good at it that we DON'T realize we do it until it's brought to our attention📗📙📘

To quote one research, which is somewhat persuasive enough, "NICE PEOPLE AREN'T GOOD PEOPLE, THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE BROUGHT UP IN ENVIRONMENTS WHERE NICE BEHAVIOR IS REWARDED".  To reinforce that, they conform to social incentives.  So, the bigger question to us:  DO WE WANT TO DO GOOD OR HAVE WE MERELY CONFORMED TO WHAT CONSTITUTES GOOD BEHAVIOR❓❓❓

And this is another debatable part wherein the researches are one to speak in unison that the common characteristics of people who often fall into the NICE PERSON category are as follows:

• Those with HIGH INCLINATION to conform
• Those with STRONG NEED to socially belong

Now, rather than be argumentative, let's agree on safe 'COMMON GROUNDS'.  To be NICE and be a GOOD person means doing whatever is best for humanity.  It means sacrificing, and whatever it takes to be sacrificed.  And that is the path that bears most meaning.  The difficult part is BEING GOOD may mean walking the path alone.  Bringing up contrarian ideas.  Becoming disliked by social groups.  All for humanity💎💎💎

If we have a benchmark for all these, I can think of ELON MUSK.  He sacrificed everything.  He worked 100-hour weeks and for ten years, without recognition.  All for humanity until he achieved the breakthrough which remains unmatched and unparalleled till now.  IT'S NICE TO BE NICE BUT...✅✅✅

There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story

There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story

WHO says there are two sides of a coin, where there are two sides of a story.  That DOESN'T hold water at all because, in truth, There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story regardless if you agree or NOT.  Let's look at our typical daily lives.  Regardless of how wronged you feel, the other person probably feels exactly the same way too💴💷💵

There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story period.  You might here someone quip like:  I NO LONGER TRY TO WIN A FIGHT BECAUSE IT IS USELESS.... because probably he probably DOESN'T care anyone thinks about him, because NO MATTER how adamantly they believe their side of the story, that is all it simply is, their side of the story.  So, it's normal you hear someone stating he DOESN'T care less if someone thinks he is right or NOT.  WHAT other people think of him is NONE of their business, blah blah blah📗📙📘

There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story yes that need NOT be debated anymore at all because regardless of how BLACK or WHITE the situation may seem, both protagonists WHO were in a situation are seeing GREY.  So, why bother about it?  Someone will even retort:  EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT EVERYONE BEHIND THEIR BACK.  EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THE RIGHT ONE IN AN ARGUMENT,  EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THE VICTIM OF THE WAR💎💎💎

WHAT's my realization here?  It seems that what's spreading across faster than the way the bushfires are spreading in the Australian Outback is that worrying about being right does absolutely NOTHING.  WHY even bother to waste another second of your life worrying about WHAT people WHO you DON'T care about think of you anyways❎❎❎

WHAT makes things sadder is if we end up with the skewed mindset that SINCE THERE ARE THREE SIDES TO EVERY STORY AND OUR REALITY WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN THE GREY, SO I'LL JUST GIVE UP!@#$%?  No sirrrrrs. our takeaway here is that we should NOT give up trying to prove IF and WHEN we are RIGHT, even if that means convincing someone to change his WRONG opinion as regards the TRUTH.  Indeed, There Are Always Three Sides Of A Story❌❌❌

When RED FLAGS Surface

When RED FLAGS Surface

No sirrrrrs, our thread today is NOT about China, N. Korea or the other communist states with RED FLAGS fluttering all around.  Instead, we'd like to spend time figuring out WHAT do we do When RED FLAGS Surface any time.  And NOT to overwhelm my readers BUT RED FLAGS can refer from end to end of the spectrum.  RED FLAGS cover way beyond the whole nine yards💴💷💵

BTW, we can start from our daily life within the confines of our home where, most of us think, we should NOT even care with regard RED FLAGS because it does NOT happen in our homes.  NOT TRUE sirrrrrs.  Within the confines of our homes, we have our respective relationship with each of our family members and house mates.  And you got to be 'SPOT ON' for RED FLAGS📗📙📘

So, one might wonder, what's the fuss with regard RED FLAGS?  Yesirrrrrrs RED FLAGs matter a lot because they are the bellwether of things that may unfurl imminently.  Behavioral changes of your housemates OR your colleagues at work or even your bosses OR your business partners OR even your customers OR with your partner/spouse.  There's just a long list of possibilities that may be impactful or even game-changing twists and turns IF and WHEN such RED FLAG leads to the 'real thing' that is impactful to you.  And that's when you may need that RED FLAG RESET BUTTON💎💎💎

BTW, when RED FLAGS start to surface, it DOESN'T mean that it's the 'moment of truth'.  It could be tell-tale signs that will help you pre-empt things from going downhill, in an uncontrollable downward spiral.  Let's have a concrete example.  WHEN your partner/spouse suddenly refuses to talk to you WHEN you arrive home, even if you cajole him/her, that is a RED FLAG that there's something amiss and that something needs a damn SUPER QUICK FIX.  OR it could be when you start and ignite the car when leaving home for the office and there are unusual clanking sounds even when it's idling, that is RED FLAG to help avert you getting bogged down with your car in the middle of the road❎❎❎

And even if you have crafted a BLUEPRINT for your life, that DOESN'T mean that you're wearing teflon, enough to be shielded from various challenges because When RED FLAGS Surface, they will pop-up for you to FIX❗❗❗

Curated Information?

Curated Information?

Cutting across the Baby Boomers generation to GenX to Xennials to Millennials to GenY, GenZ, GenNext and up to iGen and Gen Alpha, there has been a plethora of changes in technology such that information these days may be easily retrievable per se but more often, we end up retrieving a wide array of Curated Information📗📙📘

Whether we realize it or NOT, the fact that we are living in the age of information is NOT just a pretty phrase, referring to the Internet and to the ubiquitous presence of communication and computing devices.  Factually, living in this information age actually means that our economy and your ability to SUCCEED and thrive in our lifetime are increasingly connected to our ability to manage and efficiently deal with information.  Today, our SUCCESS [and even opportunities] are NOT determined anymore by our physical force OR by what we physically own  BUT by:  WHAT WE KNOW, HOW SKILLED WE ARE💴💷💵

This is our challenge at hand.  In an information economy, our ability to SEARCH/FIND, ANALYZE, EVALUATE, DEAL WITH, ABSORB, LEARN FROM, MANAGE, SHARE and LEVERAGE useful information with, from and to others are the valuable skills we really need to be equipped with in the midst of the mountains and mountains of fragments and bits of Curated Information💊💊💊

Separating the wheat from the chaff is sometimes akin to finding a needle in the haystack  regardless of the quality of Curated Information we have right in our fingers.  Word of caution when we search for information in this information age:  INFORMATION RESOURCES ONLINE EXIST IN A DISORGANIZED STATUS.  Unless someone verifies, organizes. and curates an information resource, it will have little value📌📌📌

As it is, information these days have little value because, per se, it is disconnected from other relevant resources in the same information space.  There's just NO CONTEXT.  It's like having an ingredient BUT not the recipe.  OR like having the name of a place BUT no map to reference it.  This is where we need to understand that CURATION provides the context to any information item value and a specific perspective.  Takeaway for us today:  Be cautious [and wary] of RAW Information because you might end up as MISINFORMED❌❌❌