Aspire To Inspire [BEFORE YOU EXPIRE]

Aspire To Inspire [BEFORE YOU EXPIRE]

This is a recycled question but allow me to recycle it again because till to date, I DON'T seem satisfied with the answer I'm getting:  ARE LEADERS BORN or MADE?  Me thinks, if LEADERS ARE BORN, those gifted ones should be as few as the number of fingers we have, considering that the great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs and even Martin Luther King have all passed away.  So, that's my take, we can develop ourselves to be LEADERS.  So, it should NOT be a stretch for us all to Aspire To Inspire [BEFORE YOU EXPIRE]💎💎💎

Frankly, that age-old question [if LEADERS ARE BORN or MADE] has captured so much attention, all aiming to unravel the complex nature of LEADERSHIP and its origins.  My safe answer to that age-old question is likely a combination of both.  While some individuals may possess certain natural qualities that facilitate LEADERSHIP, developing those traits and acquiring additional skills through experience cannot be overlooked as well✅✅✅

One expert view I came across is that most of the SUCCESS STORIES point out that most of it are 'MADE'.  To be specific, the research shows that one-third are BORN, two-thirds are MADE.  And that is good news to us who continue to be focused in developing our potentials as leaders.  BTW, we won't sit at this point unless we try to pinpoint the foundational things we need to set up [if we want to progress, if at all]💊💊💊

Topping the short list of traits we need to harness is DECISIVENESS because as leaders, we will be making tough calls [when we are UNDER FIRE] and even when it's NOT the best or most popular thing to do.  We have witnessed leaders who made tough, unpopular DECISIONS because that was the right [and best] choice.  That means making timely DECISIONS with confidence and NOT resting on your laurels, even if you DON'T pull the trigger on a DECISION💎💎💎

Next, you got to be consistently FAIR.  You WALK THE TALK and follow your own rules to the same degree for everyone without bias OR favoritism toward anyone.  BUT here's a warning:  some of your DECISIONS may be unpopular at times.  If you end up as a LEADER who fears being unliked, one day you, as a WEAK LEADER will be exposed.  So, c'mon, as this poster goes, LET'S BE MORE CONCERNED WITH OUR FOOTPRINT THAN OUR FOOTWEAR.  Let's ASPIRE TO INSPIRE [before we expire]❗❗❗

Room For Forgiveness?

Room For Forgiveness?

Apologies for tossing today one of the most controversial [and sensitive] threads to ever cover.  Talking about if there is Room For Forgiveness?  Oh, who has NOT been hurt by either ACTIONS or WORDS by/from another person?  Perhaps a parent constantly monitoring the child's movements IN and OUT the home.  Perhaps a tough boss at work who tends to micro-manage you day-in day-out.  Perhaps your partner/spouse who at times forgets your sensitivities and ending up to hurt you.  We can go on [and even rant], those moments where and when FORGIVENESS should creep in, will continue to be littered across our daily real life experiences❗❗❗

Save for GRAZIE [Thank You in Italian], I really DON'T know any other Italian word but I grabbed this poster because this says it all.  Simply put, it says that by being forgiving, that will give us the INNER PEACE we deserve.  Now, what happens if we continue to hold on to those hurts we suffer or endure?  The downside of this is that we might end up who pays most dearly for this.  Instead, by embracing FORGIVENESS, we end up embracing PEACE and HOPE as well.  Consider how FORGIVENESS can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and even spiritual well-being.  So, what is FORGIVENESS?  Simply put, it means different things to different people.  But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger💊💊💊

That act which hurt or offended us might always be with us, all along.  BUT working on FORGIVENESS can lessen that act's grip within us.  It can help us set free from the control of that person who harmed us.  And sometimes, FORGIVENESS might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt us, which is pleasantly ironical📌📌📌

BTW, to give FORGIVENESS doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done upon us.  It also DOESN'T mean making up with the person who caused the harm on us.  FORGIVENESS brings a kind of INNER PEACE that will allow us to focus on our own self and later help us to go on with our own life.  Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and that INNER PEACE of MIND.  Studies by psychologists have proven benefits that will lead towards HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS, IMPROVED MENTAL HEALTH,

LESS ANXIETY and STRESS, FEWER SYMPTOMS of DEPRESSION, STRONGER IMMUNE SYSTEM, LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE, IMPROVED HEART HEALTH and improved overall SELF-ESTEEM.  Try flipping things, you can flip all those benefits upside down and who'll be the end loser?  No one else but you.  ROOM FOR FORGIVENESS?  Absolutely❗❗❗

When Do You CIRCLE BACK?

When Do You CIRCLE BACK?

Nope, this is NOT a recycled James Bond thread.  As they say, to CIRCLE BACK is an art.  But I'll cut that crap because to me, to CIRCLE BACK is simply a best practice, whether it's in our personal life, work like or even in your business world.  Really, When Do You CIRCLE BACK?  Before we get drowned with semantics, let us align with the definition.  To CIRCLE BACK means to CLOSE THE LOOP, to complete what was started, to put a full stop to an activity or initiative that was started.  And sales people who have perfected how to CIRCLE BACK💎💎💎

At work, we know those common scenarios.  An idea is introduced, people are tasked to execute and then more important things pop up and that great idea gets 'backburnered' until time becomes available again.  Oh, we forgot to CIRCLE BACK.  But we'll NOT spend time about the work environment.  Let's dig up, how to develop that best practice to CIRCLE BACK [especially for those distracted by rabbits during an elephant hunt]💊💊💊

Now what's our FIXes so we get to develop that skills to CIRCLE BACK?  Topping the list, DON'T forget that TIME IS MONEY.  Anything you started on needs to be completed.  Leave it hanging in the air, all the time spent gets wasted.  And where, when and how can you recoup LOST TIME?  Next.  Be detail-focused.  Take Notes.  One that makes CIRCLING BACK easier is remembering to do so.  If you're NOT a note taker, become one.  Put all that stuff down in your personal tracking system immediately and that eliminates the probability of forgetting📌📌📌

Next.  Follow-through.  When you sit down on a new initiative and multiple parties get involved, ensure to close the loop by CIRCLING BACK.  As a best practice [till today] in my workplace, everything in a formal discussion gets minuted via MOM [Minutes of the Meeting].  Documenting every relevant details will go a long way in terms of accountability✅✅✅

Now, this next thing is indispensable.  You got to set deadlines.  We know people have a lot going on and the demand of deadlines seems daunting for those that are so busy but it will allow an initiative to stay on task without having to bug the other players for their contributions.  In your personal life, where a problem pops-up, many couples start discussing the problem at hand but along the way, they DROP THE BALL.  Sometimes, unintentionally especially if one problem after another are piling up.  Bottom line is, you got to CIRCLE BACK, whatever it takes before lightning strikes again❗❗❗ 

When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'

When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'

It is just nothing but NORMAL when life if filled with uncertainty and worries about the future.  And while many things remain beyond our control, your mindset is key to coping with difficult circumstances and confidently facing the unknown When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'.  Whether it concerns the recent global pandemic, the economy or your finances or health and even relationships, much of what lies ahead in life remains uncertain [even when at the very moment, everything just seems so nice and dandy]💊💊💊

Yet, as human beings, we crave for security.  We want to feel safe and have a SENSE of CONTROL over our lives and well-being.  FEAR and UNCERTAINTY can leave us feeling anxious and worse, stressed and worst, seemingly powerless over the direction of our life.  Indeed, that situation can drain us emotionally and trap us in a downward spiral of endless 'WHAT IFs' and worst-case scenarios as to what tomorrow will bring forth to us👘👘👘

We're all different in how much UNCERTAINTY we can tolerate in life.  Some people seem to enjoy taking risks and living unpredictable lives while others find the randomness of life deeply distressing.  But all of us have a limit though.  If you feel overwhelmed by UNCERTAINTY and worry, it is important to that we're NOT alone.  Many of us are in the same boat  It's also important to realize that no matter what, we can deal with what it is📌📌📌

So what matters most is coping with that UNCERTAINTY.  While we may NOT acknowledge it, UNCERTAINTY is a natural and unavoidable part of life.  Very little about our lives is constant or totally certain and while we have control over many things, we CAN'T control everything that happens to us.  The recent pandemic is an example✅✅✅

One day, things may be just fine and come the next days, the whole world was literally crumbling down to its feet.  The unfortunate ones even lost their job and ended up finding themselves struggling to put food on the table so to speak.  To cope with all these uncertainties, many of us use worrying as a tool to trying to predict, the future and avoid nasty surprises.  Worrying can make it seem like we have some control over UNCERTAIN circumstances.  Most importantly, you must realize when you're SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD❗❗❗

Cut Your Losses [If PUSH Comes To SHOVE]

Cut Your Losses [If PUSH Comes To SHOVE]

A gambler might call it 'CHASING YOUR LOSSES' while it is more commonly heard amongst British "DON'T THROW GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD".  Either way, and in whatever endeavor you are engaged in life, do Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE because of the very jarring implications if you miss that 'LAST CHANCE'.  Even that gambler [@ The Strip in Las Vegas] will get questioned, WHY KEEP PLAYING AFTER LOSING [a lot of money]?  Even economists call it the SUNK COST FALLACY, that phenomenon which drives us to make BAD decisions💎💎💎

Look back that weekend when you went to the shop to buy your necessary provisions until you realized that that shop actually closes on Sundays and that there are no other shops open that day.  So, will you still finish up that walk?  Unless you were that desperate to stretch your legs, this seems to be a stupid way of thinking.  Yet, bizzarely, this illogical cognitive pattern seems widespread in decision-making, often in 'high stakes'  What gets lost in all these is that when needed, you got to Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE⏳⏳⏳

In other words, most of us are loath to cut our losses.  We are much more likely to continue to senselessly plough TIME or MONEY into a project that ISN'T working out in the hope that it will get better [really?] than take a hit and walk away.  What drives this is OPTIMISM [which sometimes becomes MISPLACED OPTIMISM, that against the odds, the situation will improve], again this boils down to our AVERSION to FAILURE✅✅✅

Let's swing to our relationships with partner/spouse.  If such a relationship has turned upside down year-on-year and things are way beyond repair or recovery, then Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE.  And how abut friendships that used to be most robust to last a lifetime but with the protagonists now turned as 'sworn enemies', DON'T you need to Cut Your Losses If PUSH Comes To SHOVE?  Or at the workplace wherein one team member has directly caused SLA's to be breached [over and over again] impacting client.  Will you continue to slap that employee's wrist?  What if you lose your business when your client walks away❓❓❓

So what's our FIX?  How can we avoid these pitfalls?  A 'common sense' approach is this way.  When weighing up whether to persist with a course of action, let's ask ourselves: "WHAT WOULD I GAIN OR LOSE IF I STUCK WITH THIS OPTION AND WHAT WOULD I GAIN OR LOSE IF I SWITCHED?  And this brings us full circle back to that common dilemma of that gambler @ The Strip [in Las Vegas] because any poker player knows when to fold up.  Just Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE❗❗❗

Doing Things With Trepidation

Doing Things With Trepidation

Doing Things With Trepidation?  Oh no AS IN oh no!  Why pursue something something which you really fear front, left, right and center?  Studies have shown that a common cause of Doing Things With Trepidation are repressed emotions which we do unconsciously avoid.  These differ from suppressed emotions which are feelings we purposely avoid because we DON'T know exactly how to deal with them💎💎💎

Let's take a real-life hypothetical scenario where you and your partner have a fight and decide to break up one evening.  You still have to meet with an important client at work the next day, so you decide to SUPPRESS or push aside your feelings until you get home from that meeting.  SUPPRESSION can sometimes be a good short-term solution as long as you make sure to address those emotions sooner rather than later.  REPRESSED emotions, on the other hand, DON'T get a chance to be processed.  BUT that DOESN'T mean they simply disappear.  Instead, they might show up as a range of psychological or physical symptoms💊💊💊

Psychologists also came up with their studies which show that for the most part, people tend to repress strong emotions especially those associated with discomfort or other unpleasant experiences.  FEAR, ANGER, FRUSTRATION, SADNESS and even DISAPPOINTMENT are just a sampling.  From this short list, we should see a pattern.  These emotions are often described as negative.  It's common to repress emotions you consider BAD or believe other people might judge you for expressing.  And they say this stems from your past📌📌📌

For some people, emotional detachment is another trigger of doing things with trepidation.  As it is a way of coping with overwhelming people, in the end, we tend to choose WHEN to be involved and WHEN to step away.  Studies show that in other cases, numbing yourself to emotions and feelings may NOT be healthy.  Indeed, frequently 'TURNING OFF' your emotions may lead to unhealthy behaviors such as a fear of commitment✅✅✅

What's our insight for today?  It is that emotional detachment that occurs when people either willingly or even unwillingly 'TURN OFF' their connection with their emotions.  This may be intentional [like a defensive mechanism on emotionally draining people] or simply unintentional due to an underlying condition or medication side effect.  In summary, it helps that we self-detect once we are doing things with trepidation because very likely, there is/are underlying conditions that are triggering that situation❗❗❗

When The Well Goes Dry

 When The Well Goes Dry

Anyone who buys the line that, in life, we've got a bottomless pit?  No sirrrrs, I DON'T buy that because on the other hand,  When The Well Goes Dry, that's one of the realities in life.  Deep inside us, we have our respective rivers.  Virtually, each of our rivers flow with our good health, that positive outlook in life complemented by that positive attitude.  And ideally, that river flows freely through us💎💎💎

Whether it's faucets, artesian wells or rivers, when we allow this flow and keep our own 'WELL" from getting plugged up, there's a peace or an ease, a current that takes us along, then everything seems easier when good things come our way.  When wonderful opportunities are presented to us, we're ready for them📌📌📌

It also refreshes, renews and revitalizes our lives. Surely, we have known people from time to time who defied all the LOGIC and stayed alive years longer than they should have. Or you may have known people who've been able to keep a POSITIVE OUTLOOK on life even though terrible things happened to them.  Their RIVER ran strong and their WELL never went dry⏳⏳⏳

When the WELL goes dry, when the WELL gets clogged, those are the days when things seem to be DOWN in us, whether it's physically or emotionally.  No matter what we do, we CAN'T seem to 'snap out of it'.  That WELL, that RIVER has gone dry and only a little trickle seems to pass through.  Sadly, many people allowed their WELL to go dry✅✅✅

They are easily discouraged and they seem to be easily mired n a mud hole and every step becomes a struggle.  So, what's our FIX?  Discover that clogged WELL and UNCLOG that WELL.  Until you get your WELL cleared out and unclogged, everything will be difficult, disappointing and unfulfilling.  So, tap into that stream because water satisfies like nothing else.  The last thing we want to happen is WHEN THE WELL GOES DRY❗❗❗

Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Allow me to quote the great William Shakespeare who said:  Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache.  There's just NO way I can disagree with this truism.  Indeed, EXPECTATIONS are a funny thing.  We all have them, and we rarely even realize it because they're so ingrained in our psyches.  It's easy to take for granted that others will meet an EXPECTATION [that someone will do what you want or need them to do without a second thought].  BUT what if they DON'T❓❓❓

WHAT if your EXPECTATIONS of others is quite unrealistic?  Having high EXPECTATIONS of others is 'PREMEDITATED' discontent no less.  What you think will happen may NOT, and if it DOESN'T, we feel unfulfilled.  Now, let's dive into the common reasons having high EXPECTATIONS of others is indeed BAD for us.  Obviously, the most common trigger why we have high EXPECTATIONS of others are our past experiences.  If in the past, that person always met our EXPECTATIONS, obviously we will continue to hope for the same thing to happen💊💊💊

In the PAIN SCALE, surely you know where you're pain points are.  So, what pushes you with those EXPECTATIONS?  Your influence triggers that when you believe that your ideas, thoughts, actions and words have an influence on events✅✅✅

And when you think your way is the BEST WAY, you tend to harbor high opinions, then you expect others to hold them high as well.  And that feeling of PRAISE feels good when someone acknowledges your achievements.  You expect others will feel just as good when they accomplish things📌📌📌

Now, if there is a FEAR that triggers HIGH EXPECTATIONS, that FEAR of FAILURE is the culprit.  If you manage people, your reputation is on the line if you fail in your duties.  This FEAR of FAILURE makes you HIGH-pressure and HIGH-stress.  Having HIGH EXPECTATIONS of others comes from your mindset, fears and experiences.  It is important to recognize this firm belief that something will happen so can have realistic expectations.  Lest you forget, EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL HEARTACHE [to quote the great William Shakespeare]❗❗❗

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

More than a decade back, every week I was hopping on my weekly flightst between Mumbai and Hyderabad in India and I made sure all my domestic flights were via KINGFISHER. Just a few years after I completed my India project, I learned that Vijay Maliya, the high profile KINGFISHER owner ran away to the UK over debts of more than US$ 1 Billion.  This tragic fall should help explain Why Things RISE Before They FALL💎💎💎

Let's set aside that tragic KINGFISHER story.  Instead, let me share the JETSETTING lifestyle of someone I personally knew UP CLOSE.  Prior to the pandemic, he bragged [and I totally believe him] that he was logging an average of twenty four flights per year [mostly within the Middle East [with Dubai frequently one of two end-points].  As we speak now, sadly, that person has hit rock bottom, penniless literally speaking⏳⏳⏳

So, what explains trajectories that may seem to go up the farthest north only to take a deep nosedive, sometimes towards deep south with hopes of even recovering a long shot, if at all?  Simple explanation.  Once we have risen up to the top, humans generally become cocky a.k.a over-bearing, blustering, swaggering that becomes the very recipe of his downFALL📌📌📌

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From a statistical perspective, this is what LAW OF AVERAGES is all about which, in technical jargon is defined as 'the principle that supposes most future events are likely to balance any past deviation from a presumed average'.  Depending on the context, it can be considered a valid commonsense observation or a misunderstanding in the science of probabilities.  Translating in layman's terms, we should be wary when the trajectory keeps zooming up because that is an anomaly✅✅✅

What's our FIX for this conundrum?  Let us remain hopeful and welcoming when things are on the upswing but if that trajectory seems to run unabated, better be wary because that may likely be an outlier that will be eventually corrected by the LAW OF AVERAGES.  Problem is, when that trajectory keeps zooming up, some of us tend to get ;hostaged' by it, wrongly thinking that that upswing is a legitimate one.  WHEN in fact and in truth, he himself CAN'T explain that trajectory.  WHAT is imperative is to be constantly aware that, more often, THINGS RISE BEFORE THEY FALL❗❗❗

That Wherewithal In Life

That Wherewithal In Life

Changing our life can be both scary and exciting but more than anything, it is necessary to grow.  Most people come to a point one day where they have to make a change in their life to either grow personally or professionally but it's hard to figure out when you're ready to make that change.  At that point, the question to us is if we have That Wherewithal In Life📌📌📌

BTW. we humans all have something that makes us tick.  A goal that makes us wake up at 5am even though we would love to sleep in late.  A drive that makes us decline social events because our jobs need us to stay all night or maybe it's the opposite and we attend social events to please the ones close to us.  It comes from our motivation to succeed either professionally or personally but once the drive is missing, then we CAN'T keep going and we tend to lose our motivation. If we suddenly CAN'T find the drive inside we once had, it can be a sign💎💎💎

Oh, we've been taught to keep going even when it gets tough but it's okay to change and redefine ourselves.  It's NOT really about GIVING UP.  Instead, it's all about stopping up and revaluate whether we still want the same things in life.  Sometimes, we may find out that we still want the same time but the way we're going about it isn't working for you by then💊💊💊

Last night, I was watching the Netflix documentary regarding that Pepsi-Cola promo few decades back wherein you need to pile up points by purchasing it and the products to be redeemed, HOLD YOUR BREATH, was NOT limited to T-shirts but there was that 7 million points which you can redeem for a Harrier Jet.  And when a doggedly determined intrepid teenager named John Leonard decided to pursue it till the last drop✅✅✅

Bottom line here is that, this becomes one non-negotiable thing, that once we plunge into life, we got to have that WHEREWITHAL IN LIFE because that will fix any chinks in our armor as that adds up the ante for our readiness to face all our challenges.  For a non-swimmer who dives into the waters, we all know what would happen next and we DON'T want anything fatal happening down our journey of our life❗❗❗