Truth Is, It's YOU Versus YOURSELF

Truth Is, It's YOU Versus YOURSELF

Who says we got tons and tons of antagonists and foes in life?  Socrates, the great Greek Philosopher was quoted saying "CARE FOR ONESELF AND KNOW ONESELF".  Now, from our growing up years, we were taught that being SELFLESS is a good thing and that there are many proven benefits of altruism  to our well-being but we cannot  disown that the Truth Is, It's YOU Versus YOURSELF💎💎💎

e

Often, we seek validation from the wrong sources.  You will NEVER find your whole worth in another human being because you will find it in yourself and then you will attract those who are worthy of your energy.  So, why DON'T we stop waiting for others to tell us how impressive we are. Instead, IMPRESS YOURSELF.  SHOW YOURSELF that you can learn, grow and get better.  Again, life is NEVER competing with others.  WHY get bothered if your high school classmate is driving a Ferrari?  WHY be insecure if your batch mate is now a CFO of a global organization?  WHY feel down if your relative has a sprawling mansion❓❓❓

C'mon, during those times when we feel drained, depleted and demoralized, we really have NOTHING to give.  WHEN we fill our time with responsibilities and constantly prioritize the needs of others over our own, we can end up draining ourselves of energy and even desire.  I guess we've all experienced the difference between GIVING from a feeling of having something to GIVE, helping a workmate, cooking meal for our family, all because we feel we SHOULD do these all📌📌📌

With all humility, I would admit that I got classmates from way back my elementary and high school days who are now either a CEO, CFO and CIO.  But instead of ending up pitiful, I got my 'second wind' when I realized that I have a bigger number of classmates who, unfortunately, didn't make it good enough in life.  Not that I'm jumping on that but it was for me to realize that I should feel MORE BLESSED [more than I thought]✅✅✅

From then onwards, I was constantly competing versus myself.  When I woke up today, I would pause and ask:  HOW DID I PERFORM YESTERDAY?  Had I flopped yesterday, that should be rectified ASAP.  Had I added another feather in my cap yesterday, I want to move up the goal post and aim higher.  TRUTH IS, IT'S YOU VERSUS YOURSELF❗❗❗

Fork Down The Road

Fork Down The Road

You DON'T need to declare yourself either as a traveler OR as a road warrior because either way, as you traverse your life's journey, while most of the time you could be coasting along freeways and expressways, there will always be Fork Down The Road, those roads that would split up in two diverse directions, giving you just two options, e.g.  Take Road A or Road B.  In life, you would NOT even be toying around with a 3rd option with Fork Down The Road💎💎💎

Even thinking of that analogy with that traffic in the metro, there will be one too many Forks Down The Road.  And going back to our life, having options in life is a blessing but choosing well can feel like a heavy responsibility especially when the decision is life-changing.  There are ways to think clearly of your options such as thinking about what's best for you as opposed to what's 'right', thoroughly exploring your options and having faith in your own wisdom.  Making life decisions is a useful skill to cultivate as you will surely have to make more decisions throughout your life💊💊💊

Through the years, life can present major 'FORKS' in the road.  Sometimes, the best choice is obvious.  But what if you encounter equally valid options?  Perhaps you have to decide which school to attend?  OR which major to declare in your studies?  Which career?  Which job?  Which city?  Which medical treatment?  Which relationship to pursue?  Which invitation to accept?  Which way to handle an acrimonious relationship that's just getting worse❓❓❓

When we have options in life, it can be a blessing BUT it can be a curse as well.  And while it's great to have a choice, but there's that heavy responsibility to choose well, especially when each path would send you on a completely different trajectory.  So, how do we wiggle out of this?  First, think of WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU [rather than WHATS RIGHT].  This may seem like a tiny distinction but shifting your decision-making process to what's BEST can help you a lot✅✅✅

With more than one option, explore each option as thoroughly as possible.  If you need to see it visually, do it.  Actually, being there, in person, it let's your brain take in loads of key information that can inform your decision either way.  And if you know your area of interest, even intangibles like the 'vibe' of the location or the people will help you come up with an informed decision even with that fork down the road❗❗❗

There's More To Life Than Being Happy

There's More To Life Than Being Happy

There's More To Life Than Being Happy and I'm NOT about to downplay this chart of the HAPPIEST COUNTRIES [from Pinterest] which confirms that the HAPPIEST Index is at its peak in Australia, the Americas and Nordic countries.  And this eggs me to share as to how Australians can claim to be some of the HAPPIEST people in our planet.  In my business trip Down Under, my hosts surprised me with a Barbeque Party right at noontime in the middle of Prince Albert Park in Melbourne.  If you won't agree with me that Australians are that HAPPY, I can't argue more.  But for today's thread, we WON'T debate about the levels of HAPPINESS but instead ask ourselves if that is the end of all our pursuits in life❓❓❓

To reference Gallup data, the happiness levels of Americans are at an all-time high and that nearly 60 percent of them feel HAPPY, without a lot of stress or worry.  On the other hand, according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control, about 4 out of 10 Americans have NOT discovered a satisfying life PURPOSE.  Forty percent either do NOT think their lives have a clear sense of PURPOSE or are neutral about their whether their lives have PURPOSE.  This offers us a picture worth dissecting💊💊💊

Indeed, having PURPOSE and MEANING in life increases our overall well-being and life satisfaction, improves our mental and physical health as well and in the end, it even enhances resiliency, self-esteem and conversely, decreases the chances of depression.  On top of that, the single-minded pursuit of HAPPINESS is ironically leaving people less HAPPY.  To quote Jewish-Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, "IT IS THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS THAT  THWARTS HAPPINESS❗❗❗

This explains why many research studies are cautioning us against the pursuit of more HAPPINESS.  Day-in Day-out, I've witnessed many people doggedly in pursuit of HAPPINESS.  Cautious as NOT to be accused of getting into another person's turf, I have desisted from articulating my thoughts that HAPPINESS should NOT be the end point of our life.  Instead, HAPPINESS should be that vehicle  to bring us forward📌📌📌

Now, things get trickier with meaningful life vs HAPPY LIFE. In fact, in some ways, they do overlap but are ultimately different.  Leading a HAPPY LIFE is associated in being a 'TAKER' while leading a MEANINGFUL LIFE corresponds to being a GIVER.  While NOT having enough $$$$ decreases how HAPPY we are, it has a much greater impact on HAPPINESS.  The icing on the cake?  A HAPPY life is also defined by a lack of STRESS or WORRY✅✅✅

Fit Like A Glove

Fit Like A Glove

These days, things you need can happen on-the-fly and things you want can be snapped off straight off-the-shelf.  But we all want to end up with the best, perfect one.  This is analogous to young ones hoping to find his/her dream partner in life.  The trick here is that your dream partner can't be found off-the-shelf.  In fact, the likelihood is you may end up finding your partner who ends up to be as imperfect as you are [or even worse than what you are].  But's NOT our thread today.  What we want to harp is that everyone of us can still aim to be one who may Fit Like A Glove💊💊💊

Back in our school days, you could be an officer of the students council OR get invited to parties but sometimes, you could feel that you just DON'T fit in, that you're different from those other people and that those people DON'T really get you, let alone ACCEPT you for WHO you really are.  Perhaps you feel that either you're too quiet OR too talkative.  OR too serious OR too much of a funster.  OR your face OR body isn't traditionally attractive❓❓❓ 

Indeed, it is tough to deal with feeling you DON'T really fit in.  And unfortunately, there are NO easy answers but maybe let's figure things out.  Like when you worry too much about what others think of you.  Is it time to stop caring so much about what others think and start caring more about your 'SELF-APPRAISAL'?  If you look at yourself dispassionately, should you feel pretty good about the overall person you are?  If you have flaws you want to remediate, that's just fine but all of us have characteristics that are relatively immutable.  We're like a rose bush.  We'll always have thorns but they DON'T render our flowers worthless💎💎💎

While that rose bush metaphor is valid, it may NOT actually make you more 'self-accepting'.  So, play shrink with yourself.  WHY do you accept other people despite their failings BUT refuse to accept yourself?  Could it be that a spouse/partner, teacher, work colleague or someone in your family of origin devastated you and their words continue to ring in your ears?  Could be.  OR perhaps you made a serious mistake or three that you feel you deserve self-loathing.  OR is it time for us to change?📌📌📌

C'mon, IS IT TIME TO CHANGE?  Perhaps, you're NOT fitting in is worth fixing?  Is it time to work on that, perhaps in baby-steps?  If you've been so aggressive that the costs have outweighed the benefits, is it time to focus on dialing it back until your modulated self becomes automatic?  If you've been lazy, is it time to commit to working MORE and procrastinating LESS?  Yesirrrrs, we all can still FIT LIKE A GLOVE [but you got to lift your fingers to take this initiative]✅✅✅

Are You Ignoring Your OWN INNER VOICE?

Are You Ignoring Your OWN INNER VOICE?

Remember our INNER VOICE?  How often do we give value and time to our INNER VOICE?   OR do you realize now that unconsciously sometimes,  You Are Ignoring Your OWN VOICE? Oh Oh Oh, if indeed sometimes we're ignoring our INNER VOICE, we got to cut that [mal]practice.  That [mal]practice where and when too many of us would rather listen to the noise of the world and end up getting lost in the midst of that mammoth crowd💎💎💎

Our thread today is more about us, WHY do we need to find our very own INNER VOICE and HOW to truly listen to it.  BUT before anything else, can we align in defining our INNER VOICE.  That's our own gut, our soul, our innate wisdom so that leads us to understand something with IMMEDIATE EFFECT without the need for any conscious reasoning.   In short, that's our hunch, our inkling, our feeling⏳⏳⏳

So, why are we doing a HARD-SELL that we should listen more to our own INNER VOICE before anything else?  C'mon, most of our day-to-day decisions and judgment calls are needed in a SNAP.  Even scientific studies have supported this case via numerous examples of people having a hunch, feeling or intuition and while there was NO hard evidence to back them up first, science and data eventually backed this up as TRUE📌📌📌

Studies from neuroscientists have shown that 95% of our brain activity happens at an UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL.  Conversely, the studies showed that ONLY 5% of our cognitive activities [and that includes ACTIONS, BEHAVIORS, DECISIONS, EMOTIONS] come from our conscious mind.  So, all along, most of the time, we are taking information through all our SENSES all the time [and then we end up processing it at an incredible [unconscious] speed.  So, that INTUITION, HUNCH, INKLING, they are all coming from masses of information we CAN'T even cognitively process❗❗❗

On the flip side, there is COGNITION, that mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience and our senses.  So, this is more about our ability to understand, do problem solving, discern and organize.  That's the logical thinking part of our mind where we weigh the PROs and CONs and coming to rational conclusions.  Meanwhile, let's give more impetus to our own INNER VOICE [where 95% of the action is]✅✅✅

Do We Need Digital Detox?

Do We Need DIGITAL DETOX?

Anyone NOT BUSY now?  Surely, hardly anyone is NOT BUSY.  What a life indeed.  What's our FIX?  Please do consider taking a DIGITAL DETOX initiative.  Setting a cap for your time for Meta/FB, IG, name them all.  It has worked for most who took that initiative so, I'm safely guessing it should work [NOT seamlessly though] to every Tom, Dick and Harry💎💎💎

Apart from social media, still Busy?  NOT TRUE Most Of The Time !  Yesirrrrs, NOT to make a blanket statement because at times indeed we are [LEGITIMATELY] busy, e.g. you're behind the steering wheel for a long haul drive OR you are attending/assisting for a family medical emergency OR you are on-duty, in the middle of your tasks.  But what makes many of us quite guilty [over and over again] is that BEING BUSY has become the SAFE EXIT, SAFE EXCUSE to bail out💊💊💊

Indeed, i'll immediately succumb and subscribe to this statement that 'TOO BUSY" is just a myth [of course except those LEGITIMATE EXCEPTIONS].  So, what prods us to kinda abuse and exploit this 'overused alibi'?  My personal prognosis is that, in those cases, people are simply L-A-Z-Y📌📌📌

Oh, let's NOT overlook or ignore those REAL FRIENDS who would be with us, assisting, advising and even inspiring DESPITE whatever hectic schedules they themselves are going through.  But my concern is this passive, laidback [and pardon me, I'll call it LAZY] attitude when people would over-abuse the BUSY aspect as an excuse to avoid committing oneself on something he's mind is NOT into it✅✅✅

Oh, this is one HARSH TRUTH.  Some would end up with FAILUREs and instantly and almost effortlessly, they will blame being 'TOO BUSY' as the culprit of such FAILURE.  Heard of someone faltering, failing to successfully hurdle a career certification [like U.S. State BAR EXAMS] and they would reason out "OH I WAS SO BUSY, HAD LITTLE TIME LEFT for MY REVIEWERS].  So, whether you need DIGITAL DETOX or simply a PRIORITY DETOX, just do it dude❗❗❗

Calmness Is Most Powerful

Calmness Is Most Powerful

All along, when we think of something powerful, we visualize things that will project power a.k.a. brute force.  Alas, that's NOT consistently true because over time, it's proven that Calmness Is Most Powerful more than any other arsenal one can equip him/herself.  If there is any attribute that can match up with CALMNESS, it has to be no other than GENTLENESS.  Both will go hand in hand, complementing each other.  Their combined force easily doubles the effective POWER of both💎💎💎

CALMNESS + GENTLENESS is seen in our handling of adversity.  It is often seen in the soft nature of HOW people act when they are around other people.  It is manifested via that 'sweet reverence for wildlife and all forms of life.  Such GENTLENESS is observed as well in the slow turn of one's own head to feel the wind touch the cheek.  It is akin to getting down on one knee to listen to a child and look them in the eye⏳⏳⏳

WHEN you need to carry three eggs in one hand across the room, that's WHERE you will find it.  And then you'll see it when you carefully walk around the eggshells of a sensitive or difficult topic with someone.  GENTLENESS is there in the lightness of a feather sitting in the palm of your hand.  It's there in the CALM look in someone's eyes after they've been yelled at.  It's that steady and comfortable smile everyone gives as they operate under intense pressure at work📌📌📌

It's that slow, mindful walk of a person who's surrounding by a bustling loud vibrant city street.  It's right there in the INNER SILENCE we have at any time of wonder, struggle or boredom.  When someone is listening to another person's pain, GENTLENESS is there in the 'HOLDING of the SUFFERING'❗❗❗

That GENTLENESS finds its way by freely letting go of the baggage of a problem so as NOT to interfere with the next interaction.  It truly enjoys attending to the other without a care of one's own agenda or even 'hidden plans', if at all.  GENTLENESS and CALMNESS operate with that consistently unwavering, steady hand that knows its path forward.   With GENTLENESS and CALMNESS part of your arsenal, no amount of brute force can let you crumble quickly like cookies because GENTLENESS and CALMNESS are most powerful✅✅✅

Giving Up 'SOME FUTURE' For More AT PRESENT

Giving Up 'SOME FUTURE' For More AT PRESENT

Everybody says that we should NOT give up on our FUTURE, THAT a lot more is stored for us in the FUTURE, THAT whatever it is, never risk your FUTURE simply because something of a lucrative option gets tossed up for you to consider BUT hey, think about it, if that option seems palatable, yesirrrrrrs, for you to be Giving Up 'SOME FUTURE' For More AT PRESENT may even make sense after you weigh things on apples-to-apples basis⏳⏳⏳

This quote from Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian nationalist says "THE FUTURE DEPENDS ON WHAT WE DO IN THE PRESENT" says it all.  BUT the problem is, there are 'STRETCHED' interpretations of this quote and a 'bonafide laidback' will claim that he'd rather not lift a finger now at present BUT instead he's more than willing to wait for the FUTURE  !@#$%&

Whilst I am a non-Finance guy, please allow me to share that finance jargon, NET PRESENT VALUE.  Simply put, from a finance perspective, this practice weighs in the potential benefits to be possibly reaped in the FUTURE versus the probability to gain it in the PRESENT.  In practical terms, if you have a 50% probability to earn something like $20k five years from now versus an approximate 70% probability to earn like $5k NOW [as in NOW], will you wait for that 50% probable bonanza five years down the road?  BUT your iterations can get a little trickier when we discuss about non-financials, e.g. relationships 📌📌📌

In terms of weighing things for those relationship-related, will you wait for five years to surprise your partner/spouse with a a pricey gift or if your partner/spouse is angling for a quick 3-5 days getaway holiday anywhere near like a 2 to 3 hour-flight, do consider the NOW versus that FUTURE you're angling five years from now, if it comes after all✅✅✅

In a nutshell, it's NOT all dollars and cents.  There are MORE intangibles to weigh-in as well.  The challenge with those intangibles is that there is NO straight-line formula for you to arrive at an informed decision.  Bottom line is do consider GIVING UP "SOME FUTURE" FOR MORE "AT PRESENT"❗❗❗ 

Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain

Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain

Of course, we're all afraid to lose something OR someone we now have.  That's just human nature.  But when reality kicks in, you may be constrained to take a REALITY CHECK and figure out that Sometimes You Need To Lose To Gain.  Let's look at tear-jerking stories.  You would grow to become a young adult in the comfort of your home with the dutiful guidance of your doting parents.  Then one day, you need to enroll to a university at the BIG CITY.  Before you know it, rivers of tears will be flooding between mom and daughter and what happens next is anybody's guess💎💎💎

A more unfortunate and sad story are those whose homes get burned into ashes, leaving nothing left to the hapless occupants of that home.  THAT's when you pick up the pieces from the very rubble.  THAT's when you get into realizations.  THAT's when you start to value and cherish things ten times fold compared to those care free times when all you need to do is go to the shopping mall, then voila, you got what you want.  Another common sad story is when suddenly you're jobless, out there in the cold, totally caught unguarded by the turn of unfortunate events, which normally has its financial implications⏳⏳⏳

To share some of my bitter-sweet past, WHEN my aunt [who financially supported me in my early years] died, I felt helpless.  BUT what happened next, I realized that I CAN'T sulk in a corner.  I gotta pick up the pieces.  WHEN my company executed a massive global reorganization, I was one of those given that pink slip. HOW did I take it?  I welcomed that development because besides the 'golden handshake', I told myself, this gives me the chance to move-up the goal post⏳⏳⏳

A common debacle is when you are holding n to things that, in the end, are holding you back.  When things AREN'T adding up in your life, begin subtracting because life gets a lot simpler when you CLEAR THE CLUTTER that makes things complicated.  BTW, NOT EVERYTHING and EVERYONE YOU LOSE IS A LOSS📌📌📌

A more petty incident is when you get mulcted with a tidy sum of monies.  That hits us hard, definitely.  BUT when you wake up next morning, that should positively change you to be MORE vigilant, MORE wary, MORE watchful, MORE incisive.  We may NOT agree to this hard reality but this is nothing less than gospel truth.  WHEN we get hit hard, we would realize that SOMETIMES WE NEED TO LOSE TO GAIN✅✅✅

When Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

When Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

Do we subscribe to this [quite unbelievable statement], that Our Mind Produces NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?  Yes indeed this is absolutely true.  Fact is, we all think negatively sometimes.  We're having a bad day and it feels like the world is against us.  Then, we start to believe THAT things are indeed harder for us, THAT life is unfair, THAT other people DON'T have good intentions.  Oh, the more we allow ourselves to think negatively, the more often we will have NEGATIVE thoughts and the harder it will be to break the cycle💊💊💊

And the more that we allow ourselves to think NEGATIVELY, the more often we will have NEGATIVE thoughts.  BUT again, thinking positively all the time is NOT the solution for us to overcome NEGATIVE thinking.  It is possible to have fewer NEGATIVE thoughts and reframe them so they become more realistic.  We want to strategize in such a way for things to be realistic, for us to be human enough and to remain hopeful even during difficult circumstances.  This is NOT as steep as climbing Mount Everest.  On the other hand, let us NOT belittle this just like a molehill💎💎💎

So what's our FIXes?  The key to keep NEGATIVE thinking under control so that it doesn't turn into a NEGATIVE attitude toward life is to first recognize that NEGATIVE, pessimistic or critical thoughts are a typical experience for most of us.  Being hard on ourselves is NOT the solution, nor is coming up with a positive alternative to every NEGATIVE thought we have.  If today we had a terrible day, fine to say it was a rough day📌📌📌

When we get into an argument with someone, thinking they are treating you badly or unfairly OR that they are being unfair maybe correct and accurate.  We just DON'T want to treat NEGATIVE thoughts as unacceptable.  BUT here's a tough ASK.  If you notice most of your thinking lately has been NEGATIVE and that it's becoming harder to be hopeful and optimistic, that tells us it might be time to try to put your thoughts into perspective✅✅✅

Definitely, we DON'T want to dampen every situation by finding the NEGATIVE aspects and focusing on them.  Sometimes, when we allow NEGATIVE thoughts to consume us, it becomes harder to enjoy ourselves, to be kind to others and to be grateful for the blessings we got in many more of our experiences.  In the simplest terms, we hold the KEY and the only answer whether we can 'throw out through the windows' all the rubbish and crap that NEGATIVE thoughts because WHEN OUR MIND PRODUCES NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, we're doomed❗❗❗