Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

 Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet? Oh, that's NOT news to us at all as FALSE STARTS often happen in life.  The bigger question is, how do we handle FALSE STARTS? In the sports world, FALSE STARTS are a favorite topic even from a conceptual perspective.  In sports, a FALSE START is a movement by a participant before being signalled or otherwise permitted by the rules to start.  FALSE STARTS are common in racing sports and happen when anxiety overtakes the athlete.  In some sports, FALSE STARTS can even disqualify the participant from the competition💊💊💊

Just like in races, life is filled with misguided or unsuccessful attempts to begin something and this can be based on our anxiety and impatience.  Sometimes, our FALSE STARTS are about a legitimate need or desire and when this happens, we can feel disappointed, demotivated and even seemingly feel like a 'cast off' in life.  Surely, we have had our fair share of FALSE STARTS and I can share some of it⏳⏳⏳

Let's face it, everyone of us do struggle at some points in our life.  I can share a trivial one but which did impact me in the past.  Every week, I want to start the work week by waking up early and be on the road to office NLT [no later than] 600am as I just hate it if I feel zapped and drained [from the horrendous traffic gridlocks on a Monday]📌📌📌

You might be inclined to conclude that FALSE STARTS are mistakes.  No sirrrrs, NOT AT ALL.  It is NOT a mistake and instead, it is a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.  Truth is, FALSE STARTS can actuallly be a good thing happening to us.  WHY?  Because we have more than enough buffer time [and probably] that motivation and energy since we're just at the START💎💎💎

Simply put, FALSE STARTS give us the head start in RIGHTING THE WRONGS way early in the game.  Unlike snags that we hit towards the homestretch, FALSE STARTS are opportunities for us to 'right the ship' but it has to be acted on with URGENCY because time WON'T be on your side with FALSE STARTS✅✅✅

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  Either RUIN or REDEMPTION is NOT that palatable.  RUIN implying you're in tatters whereas REDEMPTION implying you're somewhere 'purgatory' clinging on flickering hopes to turnaround and rebound.  But assuming you are, so Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION? Now let's start handicapped.  Being in RUINS mean that your situation is probably near or somewhere gutter-level, very likely hitting the 'end of the road' sooner [rather than later] whereas if you're closer to REDEMPTION, that's NOT too bad because it means you are on the upswing⌛⌛⌛

First things first.  While many times we end up as the culprit when our life is in RUINS, you better be watchful because many times, the ones intending to ruin you or your life are 'HCP's' a.k.a. high-conflict personalities.  Think of those times when someone manifesting his moods to swing wildly?  And then it leads you to ask if they're acting either unreasonably, suspiciously or they are simply antagonistic❓❓❓

BTW, do they blame others for their own problems?  Hmmm, some difficult people are just damn too hard to deal with.  Some may even be that dangerous.  Studies show that when a high-conflict person [HCP] has one of five common personality disorders [that's BORDERLINE, NARCISSISTIC, PARANOID, ANTISOCIAL or HISTRIONIC], they can lash out in very risky extremes of emotion and aggression.  And once an HCP decides to target you, they're just hard to shake off.  Unfortunately, most of the times, we end up that low-hanging prey totally oblivious of what happens next.  But as this book by Justin Miller tells us, there are ways to protect our own selves.  Embracing empathy-driven conflict management techniques, we can wiggle out from that situation📌📌📌

But as a layman, let us break this down.  First off, SPOT WARNING SIGNS, those tell-tale signs of the five high-conflicted personalities both in others and in yourself before you assess things.  Then, do consider to manage your relationships, if any, with HCPs whether at work or in your private life.  And as a practical measure, AVOID or simply end dangerous or stressful interactions with HCPs💎💎💎

So, what's our take for today?  I'd like to piggy-back on one of my previous blogs where when I said DON'T LET YOUR LOWS GET TOO LOW and DON'T LET YOUR HIGHS GET TOO HIGH.  Either scenario does NOT augur well for us.  Let's endeavor to replicate the airplane's cycle when it starts with that takeoff leading to that steep trajectory only to fly on 'AUTO PILOT' once it reaches it's cruising altitude✅✅✅

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life? You can bet it is so damn serious, enough for Apple's annual R&D budget to keep increasing by leaps and bounds year on year [y-o-y].  Five years ago, the budget was $4.5 Bn.  In 2022, it's annual budget for R&D jumped to $27 Bn and at the core of that is the IOS FOCUS MODE💎💎💎

In today's ever-evolving digital world, our brain's ability to concentrate on a central task has become increasingly more difficult to do.  However, with the right mindset and practice, you can train your mind to IGNORE distractions and remain present .  Understanding the benefits of staying FOCUSED can be crucial to success no matter how small or large is your task, and it can help you gauge how you can improve⏳⏳⏳

So, why are we making a fuss of FOCUS?  It is too big and too important to ignore because it is how one pays attention or concentrates on a particular person or thing.  When someone is focused, their attention is centered on a focal point.  At the workplace, an employee is FOCUSED when his attention is geared toward achieving his goal at work but things DON'T stop there.  Instead, we need to continue improving our FOCUS📌📌📌

Quick quiz:  What's our #1 culprit of losing FOCUS regardless of culture or calling?  Yesirrrrrs, it is DISTRACTION.  You will be more productive and have a better chance of staying focused when you remove anything in your surroundings that might cause such DISTRACTIONS.  If feasible, try keeping your mobile phone in a different room or put it in airplane mode✅✅✅

Oh yes, I can't agree less.  Our lives is like a camera.  FOCUS is at its very core.  So how does the camera technology enable its FOCUS?  Hmmmm, according to Apple's "TIM COOK DOCTRINE", in life, PRIORITIZE things.  That let's you FOCUS on one task at a time, allowing you to methodically work through your tasks instead of being overwhelmed and likely ineffectual.  If Apple's iPhones did grab that sizable market share, credit goes to that FOCUS function of its camera❗❗❗

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Our piece today is NOT about Bees and Bee Hives but please allow me to correlate it to life so Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone.  It so happens that given all things are equal in life, there are unfortunate stories where another person just butts in coming from out of nowhere.  Not a sweeping statement but per se, this is not appropriate📗📙📘

Not to deride Singlist [Singaporean-English] as I lived there for nine years, 'Kaypoh' has evolved to be a local coinage which means 'REALLY CURIOUS' which happens when someone wants to know about everything [as much as possible].  Eventually, 'KEPO' evolved which meant 'Know every particular object'.  But per se, there is nothing wrong with being 'KEPO' but if one is coming straight from the cold, when one was NOT even part of the exchange of words, then outsider is NOT privileged enough to intrude and be a meddler💎💎💎

The British tabloids are the favorite 'whipping boys' when breaches to personal privacy are raised.  Of course, the British tabloids will claim that since they operate in a much smaller market as compared to U.S. media market.  And that has led to more contentious relationships between those celebrities and the British tabloids.  So, the more outlandish headlines were, the more intrigued the reader is, then tabloids sell more⌛⌛⌛

Forget about the controversial media though.  What matters most is how we lead our lives.  As long as you can attest that you're NOT a nosey parker, then you're good enough.  But let's admid that there is a fine thin line that separates nosey parkers.  WHAT IF you got dragged into it.  WHAT IF one of the protagonists is your Meta/FB friend, hence you get alerted with those social media squabbles.  WHAT IF you/your Meta/FB profile was tagged.  Obviously those are exceptions that will absolve you of breaching the moral and legal rules governing personal privacy📌📌📌

So, what's our take on all these?  It's the fact that BEE HIVES ARE BEST LEFT ALONE.  Else, you might end up thanklessly stirring a pot that will boil up, spill and even burn you.  Lesson here is that with social media very much embedded in our day-to-day life, there is enough and reasonable 'wiggle room' for us to avoid ending up bitten 'black and blue' by the BEES✅✅✅

OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors

 OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors

This is one of the most over-quoted one-liner: OLD Ways Won't Open NEW Doors but allow me to piggy-back on this because this is as relevant everyday in our lives.  How often do we find ourselves in a situation when we're so comfortable within our 'zone' such that anything outside of our 'comfort zone' is not worth even for a second to ponder⏳⏳⏳

Which reminds me of that old definition of INSANITY, which is, DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.  So, why DON'T we try something new?  If we map this in a simple equation, it runs this way:  OLD WAYS = guilt or hesitation NEW WAYS = embracing change and valuing oneself💊💊💊

Frankly, NOT knowing what life is going to throw at us next, we understand the temptation to regress to tried and tested ones.  BUT, by playing it safe, it's highly probable that we will end up creating a wider problem, in that it ignores broader changes in both one's behavior and even within your very environment.  So, let us NOT fear change because after all, OLD WAYS won't open NEW DOORS for you.  Whether it's in your personal life or in business, let's admit that to build a better tomorrow, you have to be willing to do things differently today.  And accept that CHANGE is difficult⏳⏳⏳

As in any change, you will grapple with tons of tools, it's your choice.  And as life can get busy, that list goes on.  And what we need to do is decide as to what tool is what will lead you to embrace that CHANGE.   But the harshest truth is that if we need to re-train ourselves to embrace CHANGE, let's do it📌📌📌

Even the biggest global organizations budget so much $$$$$ not only to align its employees to its CHANGE initiatives but to significantly increase the buy-in to CHANGES, starting from stakeholders all the way to the ground level.  Back into our lives, let us NOT get stuck with the proven OLD WAYS because there is more in store for us in NEW WAYS❗❗❗

That Fire In The Belly

That Fire In The Belly

Let's go for fine dining. pick your favorite watering holes and restaurants.  Surely, included in the Chef-recommended dishes are those that feature dishes straight from the belly, whether it's from red meat or even from salmon fish.  All these tell us how mouth-watering anything that comes from the belly.  Ooooops, for today's piece, we'll spend time on THAT FIRE IN THE BELLY📗📙📘

Swinging back into our lives, why do we really need THAT FIRE IN THE BELLY?  Again, let's go back to those scrumptious dishes whether from red meat or from the best premium fish.  Everything boils down to the belly.  I recall sharing this before.  Like at the workplace, we get SUPER-motivated when we have a very stern boss, which means, out of fear, we get motivated.  Or when we get promoted, that SUPER-motivates us.  But for how long❓❓❓

Where many of us end up on the wrong path is due to motivation being tagged as a problem, which means we start looking for a solution.  WHAT IF you end up with the wrong solution?  In the end, each attempt to motivate ourselves will likely increase that STRESS coupled with the GUILT as it widens the gap between that motivational level and the follow-through, that is between how badly we want to achieve something and our failure to achieve it💎💎💎

We then end up with that misconception that if we only cared enough about something, we would do something about it.  But that is just NOT true.  After all, MOTIVATION is all in our mind whereas that FOLLOW-THROUGH is in the practice.  MOTIVATION is conceptual.  FOLLOW-THROUGH is practical.  In fact, the solution to a motivational problem is the exact opposite of the solution to a FOLLOW-THROUGH problem.  Point here is that our mind is essential to MOTIVATION.  But with FOLLOW-THROUGH, it's the mind that gets in the way💙💛💚

We're all guilty at some point in the past, like when you decide to go to the gym after work but then it's time to go, we'll tell ourselves like "IT'S LATE, I'M TIRED, MAYBE I'LL SKIP IT TODAY'. Call it procrastination but truth is, you may not have that FIRE IN THE BELLY✅✅✅

Are You Productive? Or Efficient?

Are You Productive?  Or Efficient?

Are You Productive?  Or Efficient?  Please DON'T get me wrong.  If we stretch back what we learned in school or in our history, what propelled countries and industries is the sheer volume of productivity.  Back in school, we would be like dogs from the kernel trying to impress our school mentors.  When we were wooing our 'dream girl', we were moving both mountains and molehills again, all guided with that 'productivity mindset'.  Fast forward now. Where and who else do we hear pitching and espousing for productivity.  True, our call and contact centers are still driven by volumes a.k.a. productivity BUT what has been closely attached to it as a KPI [key performance indicator] is EFFICIENCY

Now comes EFFICIENCY which Mr Google defines as 'DOING THE SAME AMOUNT OF WORK IN LESS TIME'.  Now, most of us know the difference between effectiveness and efficiency wherein the former is DOING THE RIGHT THINGS while the latter is DOING THINGS RIGHT.  Their intersection does yield productivity.  But still, many of us tend to get confused about the difference between productivity and efficiency

Too often, PRODUCTIVITY and EFFICIENCY are [wrongly] thought as synonyms [but they're NOT].  And while they are related, but certainly, they are NOT interchangeable and in some cases, though, they couldn't be farther apart.  But in the shortest discussion possible, PRODUCTIVITY is PERFORMANCE while EFFICIENCY IS HOW WELL YOU PERFORM

Swinging over to our personal lives, during these times where there has been human diaspora of workers from the Third World, we all salute such workers a.k.a. Overseas Foreign Workers [OFW] because they are grinding and working hard to support their families back home.  And that is laudable.  What is missed out in millions of families is the 'EFFICIENCY' in raising the children 'in absentia' [although many will argue we got so many social media tools to compensate

Fast forward, how were millions of children raised when their father was the primary financier is working for 'donkey years' ten thousand miles away?  The obvious UPSIDE was that the family breadwinner was that ptoductive.  BUT, overall, were things ran efficiently?  Sadly, I can attest to so many FAILURES in families because the focus was simply on productivity.  Time to look into our efficiencies please❗❗❗

Have You Cratered [Yet]?

Have You Cratered [Yet]?

Have You Cratered [yet]?  Hope NOT yet.  But to borrow a very popular and one of the most quoted one-liners, 'NOTHING IS CERTAIN EXCEPT TAXES and DEATH'.  If there's a 'wild card' in life, that's CHANGE.  And CHANGE will undoubtedly happen multiple times throughout our life.  Some CHANGES are planned, like taking a new job or moving.  Some CHANGES are unplanned [like losing a loved one or a job].  And when unexpected CHANGES hit us hard, we often feel like life is falling apart.  That's when we more often end up cratering⏳⏳⏳

The idea of life falling apart in and of itself is very subjective and sometimes personal.  There's NO standard for what it looks like.  And if I may share, I have felt like everything was falling apart several times in my life in the past.  My [scary] experiences in the past may NOT  reflect yours though.  Because at the end of the day, everyone's experience is unique📌📌📌

So how do we take it from here?  First off, TAKE A BREAK.  BUT that does NOT mean giving up on your responsibilities and simply walk away.  Just take some time for yourself.  Once you identify what makes you feel like everything is falling apart [and eventually cratering], endeavor to STEP AWAY to clear your mind.  If work is quite chaotic, can you take time off?  If you're caring for a sick loved one, can someone else step in so you can have a weekend to refocus💊💊💊

Taking the NEXT STEP try to EMBRACE THE PRESENT.  Simply put. that's LIVING IN THE MOMENT.  A pain from the past or worries about the future often leads us down this path.  It may seem easy to be dominated by some momentary periods where you tend to 'LOOSE' the present but you know what?  The very present is a GIFT itself.  It is when and where life happens.  This explains why I'm egging you to LIVE IN THE MOMENT💎💎💎

Taking a step further, assess WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL [before things fall apart and crater].  When things are falling apart, the one single thing you may desire most is beyond your reach and that's CONTROL.  If we're honest enough, we probably want to CONTROL all.  But when life is spiraling, CONTROL is more often unattainable.  And that leads us to this possible safe conclusion that that failure to CONTROL may be the cause why things are falling apart, with us cratering✅✅✅

Who's In-charge Of Your HAPPINESS?

Who's In-charge Of Your HAPPINESS?

Who's In-charge Of Your HAPPINESS?  NOT your boss at the workplace.  NOT your partner/spouse.  NOT even your parents or guardian.  It's on YOU sirrrrrrrrrs.  Too bad that societal norms expect us to show that ear-to-ear wide grin, whether that's in school, at home, at our workplace or even in the midst of our enterprising commercial activities.  That explains this charade📌📌📌

While I am NOT a Buddhist, allow me to quote what the monks say all along, that is, THERE IS NO PATH TO HAPPINESS.  HAPPINESS IS THE PATH.   Truth is, so many people feel unhappy n their lives but they NEVER reflect on what their ownership is in that UNHAPPINESS.  In other words, they do NOT understand what they have done to contribute to that unhappiness💎💎💎

Reality is, if you are relying on anyone or anything else for your happiness, stop that right now.  If you feel like you're NOT quite doing what you want to be doing and you're NOT quite the person you want to be, let reading this be the sign that you have A CHANGE TO MAKE,  There are those who take control of their life and there are those who are life's victims.  Which do you want to be?  The type who confidently assesses their own worth or the type that complains about feeling undervalued⏳⏳⏳

BTW, no one can 'make' you feel anything.  Happy or sad, every emotion you feel you can be in charge of.  Giving away control of your feelings?  Sort it out, dude.  So, how and where do we start?  MAKE A CHANGE.  If you always do what you've done, you'll always get what you've always got.  If you always avoid difficult conversations, you'll always work with a team that isn't up to scratch.  If you always blame others, you'll NEVER take ownership📌📌📌

Everything that happens is a cyclical process that will continue until you make an intervention, that is, a change that puts you towards a new course, a new path.  Feel like you're missing something?  MAKE A CHANGE.  If what you're putting out there isn't working, or isn't manifesting the results you want, it's only YOU that can get you back on the way to be HAPPY.  And DON'T forget to evaluate yourself.  Be prepared to give yourself an HONEST [and probably RUTHLESS] feedback and DON'T forget to learn each time you mess up.  Oh, if you're comfortable with your strengths, who's in-charge of your HAPPINESS❗❗❗

How Not To Get Lost In The Woods

How Not To Get Lost In The Woods

How Not To Get Lost In The Woods?  That's Easy, promise.  Just DON'T GO TO THE WOODS period.  It's as simple as that.  We have all heard tourists who ended up in unfortunate situations in the big megacities in Asia like Mumbai, Jakarta and Manila.  And then, they start to CRY WOLF.  Why?  When you deep dive into into their very circumstances, they would eventually admit that they ventured into the slum areas of those megacities.  But I'll further ask them:  WHY in the first place you went deep there❓❓❓

Even if you fly over to the safest places in the world like Japan and Singapore, we would hear someone getting victimized by Yakuza in Tokyo.  WHY?  Simple.  They ventured and went into the clubs owned by the Yakuza.  In Singapore, when you heard someone getting cornered by a mob, the reason is simple.  That hapless victim did venture into unsafe areas in Singapore where gangs are still lording it all over the place.  Bottom-line is, it's NOT even about the country you're travelling to but it boils down to your detours in those megacities.  So who's to blame here?  It's all our COCKINESS, period✅✅✅

Let's face it.  Reality is, at some points in our life, we do get lost or waylaid.  There is just NO doubt that everyone goes through those episodes.  Not sure where we're headed to, sometimes we end up in a happy situation but that's not true to everyone all the time.  It can even sometimes appear that others around us have it all figured out but the harsh reality is that everything is NOT always as it seems💎💎💎

And although feeling LOST can be tough and difficult, it can also be seen as an opportunity to become a new and improved version of oneself.  And I can easily relate to this because this did happen to me in my not so distant past.  But hey, what and where we need to focus now is how we can navigate and wiggle ourselves from being lost📌📌📌

Now how do we fix this?  First off, ACCEPT the fact when sometimes you dp get lost [but hey, it's a RED ALERT if you're getting lost over and over again].  Secondly, never forget that you must be in control of your emotions.  Third, do develop HEALTHY HABITS and ditch those UNHEALTHY HABITS like aimlessly scrolling on social media.  Let's NOT GET LOST IN THE WOODS✅✅✅