What To Do With Your 'TO-DO' List?

What To Do With Your 'TO-DO' List?

What To Do With Your 'TO-DO' List? Oh, this is a top-heavy question.  All the while, I thought that having that 'TO-DO' List caps and solves all my tasking woes?  Not until I realized that mu 'TO-DO' List is either froze or simply stalled.  And if it does change, that 'TO-DO' List just gets longer and longer.  What could explain that conundrum which surely was unintentional and totally unrecognizable not until when we started to react to that list getting longer.

Some may even end up being defensive by blurting, hey my 'TO-DO' List is NOT getting longer.  Instead, all the sticky notes and post-it notes are just all over the wall, all over the place.  What can explain this common phenomenon?  Logically, you'd think tht when your TO-DO List was at its longest would be when you'd kick into high gear and start ticking things off like a production locomotive.  

But in my personal experience, often the opposite happens.  When my TO-DO List grows this long, I would tend to panic, my motivation tanks and my brain fogs.  I end up stressing more than accomplishing.  Apparently, having so many things to do that you can't do any of them is a recognized psychological phenomenon..  And the clinical studies have buttressed it.

Knowing that I am experiencing something called my psychologists as 'OVERWHELM FREEZE' and that it is common enough to merit its own terminology, is soothing.  But I still have to figure it out what to get for my impossible-to-buy and when I'm going to squeeze myself.  There's even this joke:  'HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT?'  ONE  BITE AT A TIME.  

No matter the size of the elephant, those individual bites should be quite ridiculously small and concrete that you CAN'T possibly stress about them.  Think about rewriting your TO-DO List as if you were giving instructions to a teenager who doesn't really want to do it so you really have to be SPECIFIC💹💹💹

Are EMOTIONS & RATIONALE Twins ?

Are EMOTIONS & RATIONALE Twins    

EMOTIONS & RATIONALE As Twins?  The no-brainer answer is ABSOLUTELY.  Here's the caveat though.  They DON'T behave or manifest at the same wavelength, on the same page.  Never.  Instead, they are poles apart from each other.  Where emotions go HIGH, then that drives rationale to go LOW and conversely, when emotions go LOW, you can go all hands on deck and bet that rationale will zoom up HIGH💊💊💊

Tons and tons of clinical studies have presented the correlations between EMOTIONS & RATIONALE As Twins.  Too bad emotions have gotten a bad rap these days.  We're frequently told we should mistrust them and ignore them.  It may seem that humanity, especially the make segment, has always evinced this level of skepticism towards our feelings, viewing them as unreliable guides. But the role of emotions in our lives has not always been viewed so dubiously by everyone.  Instead, distrust in feelings waxes and wanes depending on the level of uncertainty.  

When life becomes predictable, chaotic and troubling, we tend to retreat inwardly and sometimes seeking to turn ourselves into stone.  It then seems too risky to expose one's true feelings to let anything but cold hand logic dictate one's decisions.  Because, the thinking goes, emotions are essentially irrational

Yet studies have shown that EMOTIONS and REASON are NOT contradictory but instead COMPLEMENTARY.  Studies have supported the theory that feelings have their own intelligence and wisdom and must be intertwined with our rational faculties in order to achieve the good life we all want anyway📌📌📌

In fact, we think of our thoughts as being under an autonomous control.  We our our cognition to weigh options and make decisions.  In contrast, we perceive EMOTIONS as just happening to us.  We then conceive our feelings as clouding our thoughts which are our REAL mind.  What's our FIX?  DON'T let your emotions CONTROL you.  Instead, grab the bull by its horns and you better CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS📗📘📙
 

When Life Snaps

 When Life Snaps

When Life Snaps.  There's a story going viral now in social media.  An American couple would have their daily exercise by simply walking their dog 'Rudy' every morning.  Recently, despite the biting winter, the hubby woke up his wifey for that daily morning walk but she begged off because she thought she had to catch more sleep.

And during those moments, it was like hearing someone strumming the guitar, the sound that is soothing no less.  So, the wifey went back to her deep slumber only to be awakened by the police knocking at the main door.  And the police advised her that an ambulance has rushed her hubby to the hospice after a kind commuter happened to pass by, seeing him sprawled on the ice-covered ground while his hubby's dog Rudy was kinda in grief fidgety around the almost lifeless body.  And the wife admitted, that was the swiftest time she moved, scampering to drive to the hospice for her hubby's emergency.  Sadly, the ER doctors admitted they were unable to resuscitate her hubby back to life again.

Such is life.  Day-in day-out, it is akin to the placid waters across the lake UNTIL tragedy happens and more often, way beyond our control.  So this is When Life Snaps.  One minute you can see the placid waters.  The next minute, the waters are in turmoil.  The least the bereaving wifey can share to the media was that very hurting lesson to enjoy every moment with your loved one[s].  Unless there is a 'show stopper', never let that opportunity be missed by you.

So, life is like traversing the high seas and suddenly, you end up in troubled waters.  Probably your boat's engine conked out.  Or water just starts tp seep into the boat.  So, if you're sharing your life with your loved one, when will you cherish every moment? Is it when you sound out an SOS call in the high seas?  By the time, do you still have those moments to really relish together with your loved one When Life Snaps?

When Life Snaps, what follows next are a hell lot of WHYs.  WHY did I not spend as much time with my loved one?  WHY did I give my loved one a lower priority?  WHY did I seemingly ignored his/her presence when he/she was very much alive?  WHY did I not give him/her the importance which I used to bestow on him/her when we were just dating? WHY oh WHY? C'mon, let us NOT wait [only to regret] When Life Snaps📗📘📙

Tides of Change

Tides of Change

Who says CHANGE IS COMING?  Yes it is, and it comes instantaneously, anytime now unlike to a 'SCHEDULED CHANGE' we would here across infrastructures. So how do we handle the Tides of Change?  For the uninitiated in life, when someone hears CHANGE IS COMING, one might just shrug off his shoulders and blurt out 'WHAT ELSE IS NEW'📗📕📘

Even the changes of the tide along the coastal areas are given constants.  Who cares if high tide is coming or if the water is receding soon?  Truth of the matter, if we start talking about CLIMATE CHANGE, no less than Former US Vice President Al Gore was the top advocate of CLIMATE CHANGE.  In today's new, the savage blizzard in the U.S. left 31 dead and that's besides the power outages.

We're NOT even talking about evolution here because that's predictive enough.  Instead, in life, we should be ready enough for anything that's beyond the theory of evolution.  As it is, there are zillions of "WHAT IFs" in life, so the question swings back to your COPING CAPABILITY💊💊💊

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HOW deftly can you COPE when suddenly you end up jobless [regardless of reason]?  HOW do you handle things when someone in the family gets seriously ill?  HOW do you mitigate the impact of the financial markets to your mortgaged home?  HOW do you do that elusive 'damage control' things start to spiral way OUT-of-CONTROL?  Or let's do a post-mortem now.  How did you handle EVERYTHING when pandemic hit us badly?

If at all, one factor that one has to have in his life is his AGILITY.  To be AGILE means you are capable to immediately 'change course' when the situation demands.  To be AGILE means you are able to go from Plan A to Plan B to even a Plan C or a Plan D.  Why do many of us get waylaid ?  For one simple reason.  That happens when we are unable to cope with the TIDES of CHANGE.  BTW, in life, CHANGE is a CONSTANT❗❗❗

The Circle of Life

The Circle of Life                                                              

The Circle of Life, yesirrrrrrs, that's the vicious cycle where we are ALL trapped, sometimes to our dismay, and worse, to our consternation.  And this life-long tale of travails from the time you graduate from the university.  You then start to set your goals [which is very laudable and natural to happen].  AND then you join the fray, plunging into the job market, selling yourself to the employers [and sometimes realizing that your credentials in that CV/Resume is that endemic, short and thin, but that's fine because you are effectively a raw product at that point in time📌📌📌

AND finally after rounds of interviews, with innocent and naive alacrity, you signed off the first job offer tendered on you [rather than take that riskier tack of comparing apples-to-apples and signing off ONLY that 'best offer'.  But again, that's just rational, logical and it made sheer sense.  I acted exactly that way during my early years but many years back, I always had an 'ace in my sleeve'

There was a difference though, even those times I was very 'RAW' in life.  In anything I aspire for, it was either I'm angling for a fallback or just a 'safety net' if things go awry.  So, twice very early in my life, I went through the job interview rounds and hurdled one interview after another till H.R. tenders a job offer for me.  And twice I passed off those juicy job offers and instead, twice I successfully referred my best friend [from way back].  Lo and behold, twice my best friend did impress the HR folks and they ended up extending the same job offer to him [which they originally offered me]

Fast-forward, when you felt that you have reached that 'auto pilot' altitude in life, you start about planning your personal life ahead, settling down, starting off your family.  But HOLD ON.  Heard of things getting stalled?  WHEN suddenly, you find yourself in a state of stupor?  WHEN you realize albeit belatedly, how come you didn't achieve the progressive strides the past years.  WHEN you realized of late that there was hardly material progress in you three to five years ago versus today?  If you are a migrant, you would realized that your 'immigration status' has NOT materially improved from yesteryears versus to date❓❓❓

Obviously lessons will always be learned.  But what's the dilemma of most of us?  We wrongly believe that with LESSONS LEARNED, we get absolved for our shortfalls and lapses?  NO sirrrrrrrs.  There is one thing you cannot recoup and that's TIME.  If you wasted precious years and ending up missing up to 'materially/significantlyu' improving your own lot, you got trapped in the CIRCLE of LIFE and you gotta wiggle from that trap📗📙📘

When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

Life is very much akin to that sailboat ready to sail off as the waters out there seem so CALM and SERENE.  That's how we start off with our life.  At the onset, life is so alluring, so enticing and so tempting such that we can't wait to really sail off to the high seas, with ourselves all buckled up and equipped with all the safety and protective gears.  But hold on, who promised us that life will be akin to a consistently smooth sailing from the time you set off from the wharf?  No sirrrrs, the high seas may not show up neither the dreaded whales nor the unforeseen cataclysmic weather conditions⏳⏳⏳

But no sirrrrs, as we would witness out there in the wide open seas, risks abound all over the immense sheets of waters.  Enough of the 'horror stories' but we all have heard of boats that sailed off but were never seen nor heard to have returned safely to the wharf.  WHY?  Because such is life, once you set out there, you are on your own. Until  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

Not until  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat when you will realize that probably, that's the BEGINNING of the END, that dreaded tragic end when you feel you're very much helpless as you are on your own.  Suddenly, while you're sending SOS signals, you would play catch up throw out the waters that keep seeping into the boat, my God📌📌📌

And when the boat starts to capsize, that's exactly your predicament once you would suffer a spate of setbacks, farther pushing you back three steps back once you move forward by a step.  Net result?  It means you suffered two setbacks for every step you move forward.  And when this hits us in life, this DOESN'T mean we're getting stalled.  Instead, we are moving backwards.

So,  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat, what do you do next?  First off, you got to pour it out, squeezing every ounce of grit and energy you can exert.  And be forewarned that for every ounce of effort you pour out, your probability of surviving that struggle will only go up if you increase by notches your effort   When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat📗📕📘

DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task

DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task

Is there a difference between DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task?  Yesirrrs there's an ocean-wide of a difference to such extent that outcomes and results were influenced and decided on either by those simply DOING A TASK versus those who took OWNERSHIP of the TASK

Take the innocent kids.  Assign them a task, they would take it on no doubt.  When they 'hit a wall', your guess is as good as mine.  Likely that kid left the task hanging up in the air.  WHY?  Simple, they were just DOING A Task and NOT OWNING A Task.  So, today's piece is not even all about stuff happening at the workplace.  BTW, this is all about the life we live, the life we push, the life we thought we are so doggedly determined to bring us to success.

So, this is not about the kids even when they are seemingly tireless.  Instead, this is all about us, adults, because a plurality [supposedly] of us adults are assumed to be MATURE ENOUGH not just to take on a task but to OWN it.  And why are we harping that we should OWN tasks and NOT just DOING it?  It's because only by OWNING a task will carry us through.

In the yesteryears of our ancestors and forefathers, have we heard about EVENT ORGANIZERS?  Nada.  Nothing.  Zilch.  But swing over to today, why is it the businesses of EVENT ORGANIZERS are considerably on the upswing and unabatedly, it continues to skyrocket?  Simple.  The EVENT ORGANIZERS are proven to OWN a task, that's besides DOING the task itself.  But other than that, between us and them, it really doesn't matter

Now, if the naysayers would stand up and allege that I'm making a mountain of a molehill, I'm sorry I'm NOT and I DON'T.  A lot of failures were doomed from the very start because there was NO ownership of the task[s] at hand.  Many successes basked in the limelight because that SENSE of OWNERSHIP was there, consistently📌📌📌

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?  Oh Oh Oh, why not?  I'd love it.  Surely everyone will love it.  But is this indeed realistic?  Or are we simply daydreaming?  Yes, I think so.  This is no less than a figment of our 'creative' imagination but for multifarious reasons, in an ideal world, this is the best thing that should ever happen to mankind.  So, let's roll up our sleeves and challenge ourselves to figure out if this is feasible in the first place, if at all.  Otherwise, we'll be better off to throw this off the window.  No time for nonsense here.

Yesirrrrs this is NOT a pipedream.  We all can crystallize anything that seems vague and ambiguous into a concrete plan of action.  But before we take that plunge, can we agree as to why we're all angling for Christmas to be Everyday?  Oh, there's that christmas spirit which we hardly feel in any other month.  And how's the people's moods? Why is it most of us seem on a HIGH NOTE?

Meanwhile, how can things be so contagious during Christmas?  Even camels seem everywhere whereas most of mankind seem to share an outgoing spirt, that same GIVING spirit. BTW, conflicts and even wars are everywhere.  But can we explain that phenomenon?  My [unproven] theory tells me that it so happens that most companies would fork out the christmas bonuses by December, and that bolsters our pockets no less.

 But not to be a 'kill joy', I really HATE it if what puts people in the good mood and that 'christmas  spirit' is all because of financials?  That's pitiful indeed.  While $$$$$$ is a catalyst to trigger many good things in life, we CAN't just be dependent on $$$$$$.  What has $$$$$$ has got to do with the robustness of one's relationship? $$$$$$ should not even be a variable of the equation because once the 'oil wells dry up', surely our adrenalin will skid down faster than the speed of light.  After all, while we are realistic enough that NOT all relationships are plotted to endure the couple's lifetime, it still can. right ?

Thing is, we can say what we want but $$$$$$ is NOT the guarantee that year-round we'll be in that 'christmas spirit' everyday.  We DON'T even need those $$$$$$.  We can live a spartan life and still call it one hell of a ride because we could have managed to weather through all our trials and tribulations.  So, can we all sing in union and hope that indeed,  it is not far fetch for us to hope that one day, that 'christmas spirit' reverberates across the year.  So, Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday❓❓❓

When REALITY Kicks In

When REALITY Kicks In

When does REALITY kick in?  Here's a story I got from Gaia L. posted in Quora.com.  A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.  They find a deserted cabin and take shelter.  They find a sleeping bag, a bed and a pile of blankets.  The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.  As they get tucked in for the night, the nun calls out 'FATHER FATHER I'M COLD'.  So the priest gets up and puts another blanket on the nun.  "IS THAT BETTER SISTER?" he asked.  "YES FATHER, MUCH BETTER" she replies.  So he gets back in his sleeping bad and starts to nod off when she again calls out "FATHER I'M STILL COLD". 

So once again the priest gets up and puts another blanket on her, ensuring she is tucked into the bed well. IS THAT BETTER SISTER? he asked.  "OH YES FATHER, THAT'S MUCH BETTER" she says. So the priest gets himself back into the sleeping bag and this time is just starting  to dream when he wakes up with her call "FATHER FATHER I'M STILL SO COLD".  The priest thinks long about this and finally says "SISTER, WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN A BLIZZAR.  NO ONE BUT YOU, MYSELF AND THE LORD HIMSELF WILL EVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENS HERE THIS NIGHT.  HOW ABOUT JUST FOR THIS NIGHT, WE ACT AS THOUGH WE ARE MARRIED?"  

The nun thinks on this for a minute, she can't help but admit to herself she's been curious and finally answers "OK FATHER, JUST FOR TONIGHT WE WILL ACT AS THOUGH WE ARE MARRIED".  so the Father replies "GET UP AND GET YOUR OWN DAMND BLANKET YA COW" and rolls over to sleep, whew.

Truth is, when REALITY STRIKES in our life, there's no other way but TO FACE THE MUSIC.  If suddenly your academic ratings in school unabatedly skid, there's no other way but to arrest that skid.  If at work, you have been fumbling at work and finally the dreaded H.R. disciplinary action gets imposed on you, you got to FACE THE MUSIC.  it's either you SHAPE UP or get SHIPPED OUT.  If your relationship has been turmoil over time and it's getting from bad to worse to worst, FIX IT ASAP, as in ASAP because once reality kicks in, you just DON'T lick your wounds.

And BTW, when REALITY STRIKES, don't slow down and [wrongly] think that you're OVER THE HUMP??? Because quite sometimes, REALITY STRIKES AGAIN and AGAIN.  When that spate of strikes cause you to end up in black and blue, that is likely the last reprieve you can receive to attempt resuscitating your situation, if not your life.  I can attest to having witnessed people fall flat on their face but they were seemingly twiddling their fingers hoping that their woes will simply dissipate in thin air and that's all they need to do, JUST WAIT?  My God, WILL YOU WAIT [again] FOR REALITY TO KICK-IN❓❓❓

Time Heals

Time Heals

Does Time REALLY Heal those wounds?  It's of the most unhelpful cliches you can pull out when speaking with a grieving person, right up there with "IT'S ALL PART OF GOD's PLAN".  Then again, there is a bit of truth in plenty of unhelpful sayings and over time, tons and tons of researches have proven to attest to the healing nature of time.  For most of us, after probably a year or more has lapsed, those symptoms of acute grief would have lessened.

But hold on though.  Although I am a firm believer that TIME HEALS, sometimes things actually get WORSE before they get BETTER.  You can ask around, those who have suffered a significant loss in the past.  Likely, they will confide to you that the initial SHOCK & PAIN, while agonizing, wasn't a most difficult time for them. 

That may come weeks or even months later when the REALITY of LIFE without a loved one begins to set in.  The sense that you can never ever speak with that person again, neevr touch them, hear their voice or feel the unique way you did with them, has begun to sink in.  We can even stretch the metaphor of grief as a wound.  Horror and disbelief courses through you in the seconds after you receive a bad cut or when you break a bone but the pain only sets in later once the numbness of shock fades.

Truth is, even in the long run, time DOESN'T actually improve matters for some of us.  Heard about 'COMPLICATED GRIEF' for people whose grief symptoms are still acute.  They become stuck in mourning.  NOT wanting to accept the reality of the loss of strong feelings attached.  The DENIAL of LOSS that creates a powerful impact.  The intensity of a LOSS that is compounded by traumatic circumstances.  NOT wanting to let go of the pain because of a betrayal of the feelings for the lost loved one.  NOT having a safe place with whom to process the loss in that forever-changed world.

Fact is, TIME GOES REALLY REALLY SLOWLY when you're hurting.  Remember if you were hospitalized before and you notice how painfully time moves SO SLOWLY when you're stuck in the hospital?  Or when you've got that recurring migraine and you're waiting for that painkiller to kick in?  The same rule applies when you're in an emotional agony.  "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS"  is like a slap on your face when minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days and the days just seem to drag, you start to question and doubt if the calendar is moving at all?  So, indeed, TIME HEALS but NO SINGLE SIZE FITS ALL because there are multifarious factors that will either drag or accelerate your healing.  What's our FIX?  Keep that FOCUS in your healing process💊💊💊