When Can We Always Have 'SENSE of URGENCY'?

When Can We Always Have 'SENSE of URGENCY'?

The conventional wisdom tells us that that SENSE OF URGENCY should happen ONLY IF there is an URGENCY.  Really?  Are you NOT kidding?  I totally disagree with that and that's the widespread dilemma because most of us are taking things literally and when we hear URGENCY, it gets equated to something that's a serious medical situation, an accident or an unexpected event that necesitates URGENCY. When Can We Always Have 'SENSE of URGENCY'❓❓❓

Thing is, creating a SENSE OF URGENCY is [VERY] rarely talked about WHEN discussing all of the required characteristics that make up the highly successful BUT without doubt, it is a pre-requisite for SUCCESS in our personal life, in our work life, in our business life.  It is just important to approach each assignment, task and project with extreme care and focus, BUT being a perfectionist often hinders that SENSE OF URGENCY needed💎💎💎

The challenge is WHETHER it is letting your perfectionism slow your growth OR waiting for the perfect moment rather than creating a SENSE OF URGENCY to make it happen and get it done, you must be deliberate in your efforts to identify a SENSE OF URGENCY in all that you do.  People WHO live with a SENSE OF URGENCY also live their lives with purpose and meaning.  They wake up everyday with purpose and possess an inner urgency that drives them to deliver on it💥💥💥

Through the years, the amount of people I have witnessed WHO really obviously have that LACK OF URGENCY either in their personal OR professional lives sabotage their SUCCESS and full potential is unbelievable. Quality will always matter and perfectionism can be a great asset BUT productivity, efficiency and speed are equally important✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Much as we want to to take our own performance to the next level, the common problem is that many of us are busy PERFECTING one aspect, and they end missing the opportunity to expand beyond it.  This LACK OF URGENCY stumps growth.  So many others walk around unfulfilled wishing they had acted on WHAT they were passionate about OR an idea that they truly wanted to move on BUT the LACK OF URGENCY does prevent them from ever getting started.  WHEN can we always have a SENSE OF URGENCY❗❗❗

Are We Wired To Be RICH Or POOR?

Are We Wired To Be RICH Or POOR?

Are We Wired To Be RICH Or POOR? I DON'T think so.  I strongly disagree with that proposition BUT you might ask me, why is our thread today all about being RICH or POOR?  It's because this is a valid and common concern NOT just in the Third World but even in the First World like the United States where the 2023 population is at 339 million and the poverty rate in 2023 is pegged at 11.5%.  That translates to almost 39 million Americans in poverty.  Now let's go back to the nagging question if ARE WE WIRED TO BE RICH or POOR?  NAWH sirrrrrs, we are NOT.  Because I firmly believe almost all of us have similar chances to climb up the ladder in life, regardless of the kind of ladder📗📙📘

NOT to downplay America because it is well known as the LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES, the LAND of HONEY but statistics show that even beyond the 39 million population living in poverty, a bigger chunk of the population are living PAYCHECK to PAYCHECK.  In fact, it is normal to hear about side hustles in the First World countries BUT if we DON'T fundamentally understand how money works, more of it WON'T fix the problem📌📌📌

Often times, we would hear that we CAN'T be all be rich?  THAT we need people WHO will work n retail, food service and hospitality.  I regret I DON'T have the slightest inclination to agree with that proposition.  BUT here's a three-liner I stumbled across:

The LOWER CLASS spends the money

The MIDDLE CLASS saves their money

The UPPER CLASS invests their money

These three-liners CAN'T be farther from the truth!  And this is the main reason WHY most people stay in the class they were raised in.  We seem to learn to act by watching those around us💧💧💧

The harsh reality here is that it takes some real serious work to UNDO any ingrained thought process.  Looking back at my family's past years, I have to admit that we were living on PAYCHECK to PAYCHECK and that was a vicious cycle too difficult to part with.  All along, I thought that for my family at that time to move into the UPPER CLASS, it would mean identifying and then rewiring the thought processes that were instilled in me from time time I was nothing but a dependent💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In life, NOTHING IS CAST IN STONE.  Opportunities are lurking and spread all over the place.  Challenge is that most of those opportunities are obscured or way beyond the surface and it takes a real darn curious Lothario to unearth it from below the ground.  Lastly, NOT to cast down on the lower classes in our society, we are all encouraged to look way beyond just around us.  It's true we should look up to our parents, our families, relatives and close coterie of friends but let us go beyond our horizons because we are NOT WIRED TO BE RICH or POOR.  It's all up to us, dude😀😀😀

How Do We Handle CRITICISM?

How Do We Handle CRITICISM?

WHO wants CRITICISM?  Absolutely no one amongst us.  Many times in the middle of nowhere, we will hear something that borders way beyond just being another noise.  And the worst part is when CRITICISM comes even when it is UNSOLICITED.  But first and foremost, handling CRITICISM involves understanding the critic.  NEGATIVE feedback arises in different contexts and each merits a different approach.  So, really, How Do We Handle CRITICISM❓❓❓

As CRITICISM is part and parcel of living in this world, posting on social media, performing in your stand-up comedy OR even coaching a student OR protege, all those well-meaning efforts and intentions will absolutely invite judgment + CRITICISM.  And doing anything truly innovative will guarantee it.  So, HOW can you ready yourself and NOT be discouraged from stepping outside of your box?  These are mind-boggling💥💥💥

Frankly, CRITICISM may seem scary because it could come in various forms.  BUT since this is inevitable, HOW do we handle all these?

DIG FOR THE SOFTER EMOTION - Angry CRITICISM almost always means the critic feels hurt in some way.  One key thing to remember during these times is that ANGER is a secondary emotion, it is a reaction to and expression of a softer primary emotion underneath like hurt, shame, OR humiliation.  People get hurt first and then get angry BUT by dig beneath the superficial anger in search of the softer emotion, it's much easier to feel sympathetic toward them📗📙📘

DON'T GET DEFENSIVE - Reacting defensively shows insecurity plus you'll just come across as aggressive and difficult.  And blaming is even worse.  Resist throwing someone 'UNDER THE BUS'.  Handling NEGATIVE feedback is often the hardest as it stinks to hear your idea ISN'T up to par.

CRITIC MAY BE WRONG - Ultimately, feedback is an opinion shaped by the giver's context , values and place in life.   You can always reject CRITICISM that does NOT match WHAT your core beliefs tell you is correct and that can be empowering and WHEN it's turn to hear CRITICISM, remember just because someone else says it, it DOESN'T mean that that is TRUE!@#$%?

OR maybe your critic has a point.  The flip side of the misunderstood genius is the slacker with potential.  Sometimes, CRITICISM might just mean your work ISN'T your best effort yet.  OR maybe your presentation is sloppy OR your idea is NOT well thought-out enough.  Consider to seize the CRITICISM as an opportunity, an improvement area for us to assess its feasibility and viability.  Maybe, some extra polish may make your work shine.  You can even thank your critic for it and get back to work [with a positive mindset].  Our takeaway:  CRITICISM may be done either in good faith OR bad faith and it behooves that we give it the benefit of the doubt way prior to 'digesting' it.  HOW TO HANDLE CRITICISM is not that steep to climb✅✅✅

Your Values In Life

Your Values In Life

We all live distinct daily lives BUT how far different should our VALUES be far apart?  BUT WHAT are your VALUES anyway?  Supposedly. your personal VALUES are a central part of WHO you are, and WHO you want to be.  By becoming more aware of these vital factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.  Some of life's decisions are really about determining WHAT you value most.  And WHEN many options seem reasonable, you can rely on your VALUES to point you in the right direction.  So, we got to agree that WHAT matters most are Your Values In Life📗📙📘

So, in a nutshell, WHEN how you live matches your values, life is usually good.  WHEN your existence DOESN'T align with your personal VALUES, that's WHEN things feel wrong and you may end up feeling unhappy.  So, HOW do you define your VALUES?  BUT more than anything else, your VALUES are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.  In fact, they should determine your priorities and deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.  WHEN the things that you do and the way you behave matches your VALUES, life is usually good, you end up satisfied and content in fact.  BUT when these DON'T align with your personal VALUES, that's WHEN things feel wrong.  Oh Oh, that can be a potential source [and trigger] of UNHAPPINESS💥💥💥

This explains WHY making a conscious effort to identify your VALUES is so important.  So, HOW does VALUES help you? VALUES exist WHETHER you recognize them OR not.  Life can be much easier WHEN you acknowledge your VALUES and WHEN you make plans and decisions that honor them.  If you VALUE family BUT you have to work 70-hour weeks in your job [or your business], will you feel that internal stress and conflict?  And if you DON'T value competition, and you work in a highly competitive sales environment, are you likely to be satisfied with your job💧💧💧

In those types of situations, understanding your VALUES can really help.  WHEN you know your own VALUES, you can use them to make decisions about HOW to live your life and that should help you reach decisions like:

WHAT CAREER SHOULD I PURSUE?

SHOULD I ACCEPT THAT PROMOTION?

SHOULD I START MY OWN BUSINESS?

SHOULD I COMPROMISE OR BE FIRM?

Our takeaway:  Let's turn the tables around and ask ourselves the following basic questions:

WHAT VALUES ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR LIFE?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE KNOWN FOR?

WHAT QUALITIES OF OTHERS YOU ADMIRE AND YOU WANT TO REPLICATE IT TO YOURSELF?

AND HOW DO THOSE QUALITIES REFLECT?

Bottom line is, regardless of the directions you want to take in your life, everything runs a full circle back to your very own VALUES you embodied and embrace❗❗❗

Life Is NOT A One-Way Street

Life Is NOT A One-Way Street

Life is the biggest ocean in the world where the biggest bodies of water will converge to become one.  And a BIG chunk of that conglomeration are tons and tons of relationships between people.  For us to concur that life is a two-way street, we need to have that grasp of the essence of reciprocity in relationships.  WHEN it comes to personal connections, grasping that 'TWO WAY STREET' metaphor is fundamental to appreciating the essence of reciprocity in relationships.  This analogy illustrates the balanced give-and-take dynamic vital for nurturing healthy, authentic relationships.  Much like HOW traffic adheres to street boundaries to maintain flow, relationships flourish WHEN each person invests effort, fostering a sense of fairness and equality that bolsters the relationship balance.  That is why Life Is NOT A One-Way Street📙📘

As experts espoused, the psychological foundations of mutual exchange in relationships are deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.  Our innate drive for reciprocal interactions extends beyond transactional exchanges.  As studies show, it is woven into the fabric of our social being.  People's wanting for two-way communication and cooperation is a trait that has propelled our species forward, highlighting the significance of mutual exchange in relationships💎💎💎

For us laymen, examining things within the realm of psychology, two-sided relationships address our intrinsic desires for connection and validation.  Engaging in a two-way relationship dynamic transcends physical exchanges.  And this is a testament to our need for emotional reciprocity and interpersonal harmony.  This cycle of reciprocal support and validation NOT only strengthens individual bonds BUT also weaves a stronger community fabric, thereby enhancing our collective resilience and sense of belonging💦💦💦

In our life's journey, the dynamics of a partnership, whether it is platonic, romantic OR professional, are fortified by the principles of reciprocity and mutual respect.  That delicate balance of giving and receiving, alongside open and transparent communication creates an environment where individuals can thrive both independently and jointly.  The challenge at hand is for us to BALANCE the GIVE & TAKE.  That art of balancing GIVE & TAKE in personal relationships is akin to a dance WHERE partners move in synchrony, aware of each other's rhythm and pace.  It's a dynamic interplay that requires attentiveness and the willingness to adapt.  BUT if there is a wildcard in relationships, it revolves around COMMUNICATIONS.  At the core of a two-way relationship lies COMMUNICATIONS, serving both as a bridge and the buffer in the partnership.  BUT COMMUNICATIONS has its multiple layers we need to handle with dexterity💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  By prioritizing communications, partners can create a dialogue that goes way beyond mere words, encompassing non-verbal cues, emotional exchanges and the unspoken understanding that often develops over time.  That dialogue becomes the very heartbeat of a two-way relationship, sustaining and nurturing the partnership as it endures over time.  LIFE IS NOT A ONE-WAY STREET❗❗❗

ChatGPT: When Is A TOOL NOT A THREAT

ChatGPT:  When Is A TOOL NOT A THREAT

Today, please DON'T think our thread is a boring one because it touches on technology.  We'll dissect it from a layman's perspective, that's all.  This is WHERE ChatGPT comes into the picture.  When Is A TOOL NOT A THREAT?  Is this a legitimate question?  YES it is, because some of us see a THREAT in ChatGPT whereas many of us see a TOOL in ChatGPT.  BUT way beyond this discourse about ChatGPT, such is life, there are always two sides of a coin📗📙📘

Before anything else, let's align for the definition of ChatGPT wherein in the technology space, it is defined as the tool in OpenAI [WHICH means it is NOT proprietary] and anyone can develop a ChatGPT script as it indeed revolutionizes the way we interact with technology, making it possible for people to communicate with machines in a more natural and efficient way.  So, this has led to significant improvements in the way we consume and process information, as well as enhanced customer service experiences.  Seriously, it has changed the way we work, the way we reach out to the customer service hotlines of our banking and service providers, giving birth to entirely new industries and somehow is perceived to be threatening to replace workers in many sectors💎💎💎

This should bring us to a safe alignment that indeed, whether ChatGPT is a TOOL or a THREAT, this is a legitimate discussion worth our time and effort.  BUT without favoring technology instantly, the fact is that ChatGPT has significantly matured the past year because currently, it has that ability to take text that has a lot of 'NOISE' in it, like text from voice-to-text software WHICH tends to make a lot of mistakes OR texts from chats between people that has a lot of back and forth and stops like um, and hmmmm.....💧💧💧

Given all these, amongst us within the technology community, we are asking this blunt question, WHETHER some in the fields of customer service, finance, entertainment, and even programming may become obsolete BUT it's a very IFFFY speculative statement and the looming consensus is that this ChatGPT arising from generative AI [artificial intelligence] will NOT make many of these jobs obsolete.  Instead, it is likely to improve a lot of jobs, taking the mundane aspects of the job away and freeing people to deal with more complex and interesting aspects of the jobs to be impacted by ChatGPT💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  All these technology progress we are now witnessing are definitely more TOOLS than THREATS to us, by and large.  And there is an ongoing 'debate' as to whether large language models will replace humans in these industries OR augment their productivity and even open up to new opportunities.  Taking a step back, the insight here is for us to embrace all these POSITIVES instead of being cynical because ChatGPT is more of a TOOL than a THREAT to us all💥💥💥

When Should We Be SILENT?

When Should We Be SILENT?

Yes folks, there is a fine line between expressing opinion and letting silence do the talking.  The difference often lies in wisdom.  Speaking out is about voicing your thoughts BUT often, the art of remaining SILENT can speak volumes without even uttering a single word.  We all encounter situations in life WHERE SILENCE is indeed recognized as GOLDEN.  The trick is figuring out WHEN to zip it and let the SILENCE work its magic.  In brief, this is a dilemma which we can preempt.  So, When Should We Be SILENT📙📘

Yes, navigating life is a bit like dancing, it's all about knowing WHEN to step forward and WHEN to take a step back.  OR even in some cases, WHEN to stay completely 'STILL'.  And by 'STILL', we're referring to SILENCE.  And I believe it is NOT difficult as to WHEN should we should be appropriately SILENT:  

WHEN emotions are high - Been there, done that.  We've all been there.  Tensions are rising, voices escalating and the air is practically humming with emotion💎💎💎

Researches show that emotional arousal impairs our ability to process information and moreso, make balanced decisions.  You see, WHEN we're heated up, our brain really goes 'BERSERK' or for analogy, it's like your iPhone going in AIRPLANE MODE.  In the end, we're more likely to say things we DON'T mean OR make decisions that we later regret.  It's a primal instinct that DOESN'T serve us well in most scenarios.  That's WHY experts vouch for the power of SILENCE in these moments💧💧💧

WHEN you're not informed enough - This is quite straightforward BUT experts claim that this is often overlooked.  If you AREN'T well-informed about a subject, it's best to remain SILENT.  As we live in an age of instant opinions and fast facts with information that seems to be overflowing in fact, it is easy to feel pressured to have a say in everything BUT let's be honest that's NOT always the best approach.  I've learned this the hard way.  In my early days of exploring mindfulness, I'd often jump into discussions with half-baked knowledge.  Then I realized that speaking without understanding muddles the waters💦💦💦

WHEN your words may harm others - This is quite difficult to swallow BUT experts advise that this is so vital.  While the right of speech is one of our fundamental aspects, it means abstaining from LYING, DIVISIVE SPEECH, HARSH SPEECH and even IDLE CHATTER.  If ever you find yourself in a situation WHERE your words may cause pain OR harm to another person, regardless if it is intentional OR not, it is wise to HOLD YOUR TONGUE.  

WHEN you need to listen - We're often so focused on being heard that we forget to listen.  Active listening is a skill, one that requires mindfulness.

WHEN SHOULD WE BE SILENT?  We should know❗❗❗

SINCERICIDE

SINCERICIDE

SINCERICIDE.  Yes Yes Yes. My reservoir of vocabulary increased by one today after stumbling across SINCERIDE which briefly, it's meaning is somewhere between AUTHENTICITY and SINCERITY.  Which is a tough call because personally, in real life, NOT everything you see or witness is AUTHENTHIC.  Neither are all people SINCERE.  This is NOT to bad-mouth but this is the stark TRUTH.  And the TRUTH is that there is a difference between telling the TRUTH and committing a SINCERICIDE.  Unfortunately in life, we DON'T always have this subtlety so WHEN we use the sword of TRUTH, we may possibly cause 'damage' [think about the offense of hurting someone [even if it was an unconscious one and NOT meant in bad faith]]📗📙📘

Honestly though, it is likely that everyone of us [and it includes moi] acted as SINCERICIDES on some occasions in the past [if NOT till now].  However, if saying the TRUTH so brazenly, hurting others, becomes our 'NORMAL' behavior, it would be good wondering WHY we have become that sort of 'KAMIKAZE OF TRUTH'.  And experts opine that on many occasions, this sort of suicidal attachment to TRUTH is the expression of something much deeper, WHICH may be the desire to 'punish' the other or even themselves💥💥💥

Psychologist further opine that SINCERICIDE is usually a person WHO believes he is being treated unfairly, OR feels he is NOT sufficiently valued OR being trampled.  And in these cases, it uses TRUTH as a 'legitimate' weapon to attack the world, which deeply disillusioned him.  Further studies show that there are those WHO might be called as 'BORN SINCERICIDES', those WHO think they are the only ones to be right and that their attachment to TRUTH allows them to pass on any type of social subtlety💦💦💦

And furthermore, these SINCERICIDES feel that the fact that it is a TRUTH that seems 'brighting like the sub' is a sufficient reason NOT to make unnecessary rides.  After all, these people are convinces that they are the only ones to be honest and that everyone else is lying, even just to 'adorn' the TRUTH and subtract part of its impact.  The disconnect here is that SINCERICIDES [wrongly] believe that they think that 'BEING HONEST' is equivalent to 'BEING GOOD', which is NOT❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let us NOT be one of those SINCERICIDES that being 'DIRECT', saying things as they are and not joking is an expression of consistency but actually seeing the damage they cause with their SINCERITY, their actions reveal a destructive intent, WHICH means they have a double moral since they do NOT act in accordance with WHAT they say to be.  The fact that a TRUTH is good for us does NOT mean that is good for the others as well, NO sirrrrrrrrs❗❗❗

YOLO, Life Is Too Short

YOLO, Life Is Too Short

True, we frequently hear all these and say these things that are supposed to be motivating and inspiring [OR at least make us feel better about the choices made in the quest for happiness] but if we dig deeper and take more than just a cursory look, they may be simply glib sound bites designed to take you away from the best parts of being alive.  Indeed, Life Is Too Short.  BUT life only feels short in retrospect, WHEN we look back and reminisce about the time that has passed.  Factually, it is a collection of moments.  How often have we noticed how frequently almost everyone utters the word 'YOLO', often to hype-up those "CAN'T MISS" opportunities.  'YOLO', the short for YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE and it's true if we think about it📗📙📘

Glancing at the above chart of 'FAMOUS DEATHs', NOT because dying makes us famous, The above chart is courtesy of 'waitbutwhy.com' and each of the dots represent ONE [1] week in our lifetime.  You can observe that most of the boxes are not fully filled.  Some of them have barely occupied even half of the little boxes on this table.  It implies that, WITHOUT THEM REALIZING IT, they had only a limited number of weeks in their lives.  In fact, NONE of them managed to fill all the tiny boxes and make it to age 90.  Sadly, they NEVER realized this.  And YES, that hit me like a truck running over me.  They, LIKE MOST OF US, often assume we have an abundance of time BUT the reality is that we NEVER truly know HOW much time we have OR HOW many little boxes are left💧💧💧

You may disagree [BUT I'll staunchly argue on this], more often than NOT, our time is limited.  Yes, that's all we got, our lives are those little boxes that will run out eventually and we may NEVER know WHEN that will happen.  All we have is a limited amount of time.  And as a procrastinator [before], I found that conclusion incredibly unsettling.  Often, we assume that we have tomorrow, BUT we overlook its uncertainty💥💥💥

All these made me reflect back on my life because admittedly, I had some dreams that I've left unfulfilled [BUT hey, LIFE IS TOO SHORT].  About a list of things I've always wanted to do, BUT I've been hesitant to start them.  WHY?  Because, long time back, I did often succumb to procrastination.  And NOT just about dreams.  Sometimes it's the smallest tasks that should be done right away.  Something I believe many can relate to.  TRUE, we all have a bit of PROCRASTINATOR in us, and there's likely at least one thing we delay, even in our daily lives.  HOW often have we told ourselves "I'LL WORK ON THIS TOMORROW" only to open your laptop and end up just scratching the surface❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Remember even those seemingly casual situations WHEN you wanted to clean up your room then you ended up scrolling on your phone, ending stuck and glued at that Kevin Hart compilation on YouTube.  Thing is, we often delay tasks by saying "I'M FEELING LAZY TODAY, I'LL DO IT TOMORROW" BUT.... are you aware of the possibility that TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME?  THAT it's an uncertain concept and even a minute from now, we CAN'T predict WHAT will happen next.  Indeed, YOLO, LIFE IS TOO SHORT😌😌😌

Oversharing Gone Overboard

Oversharing Gone Overboard 

Long time back, what is personal, it's private and what is public, it's there 'wide open'.  This is where even museums were popular before because that's where things publicly shared are officially out there for your naked eyes.  Fast forward today, the line between private and public information has never been more blurred, whether you blame it on social media, reality TV or is it all because of that Covid-19 pandemic that caused Oversharing Gone Overboard📗📙📘

Chances are high that at one point or another, you and me have been guilty of OVERSHARING which, in literary parlance, is described as 'exclusively talking about personal matters and neglecting to volley the conversation back and forth'.  How many posts do we witness whether in Facebook, Instagram or elsewhere?  Do your friends and even co-workers know every intimate detail about your last [previous] relationship!@#$%?

OR worse, does every conversation somehow turn into a personal monologue?  It's great to be authentic and personable BUT you might be going too far with HOW much information you unload on those around you?  BUT we might hear from many naysayers like, WHAT'S WRONG WITH OVERSHARING?  There are simple, logical and practical [call it 'common sense'] reasons WHY OVERSHARING is really a NO-NO❌❌❌

YOU could be putting yourself at risk [or worse] in danger by revealing too much to the wrong person.  YOU could be treating someone as your FRIEND now but WHO knows if NEXT month, NEXT year[s], he/she has turned into your ENEMY?  And WHEN that happens, WHAT happens to everything you 'trustingly' SHARED to him/her during those times WHEN you were 'chummy-chummy'?  YOU may even tend to alienate people WHO would feel uncomfortable with the amount of 'personal' information you are SHARING.  At worst, YOU could even be taken advantage WHEN recounting problems to people WHO DON'T have your best interest in mind😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Dig up the most probable reasons you're OVER-SHARING.  Is it because of your FALSE sense of intimacy?  OR is it because you're finding solace in a stranger? In that case, that could be a case of MISPLACED trust.  OR is there a misguided attempt to kind of 'fast track' a relationship?  OR there are just poor [call it blurred] boundaries between you and that supposed TRUSTED one?  All these indeed point us to OVERSHARING GONE OVERBOARD❎❎❎