When To WORRY About WORRYING

When To WORRY About WORRYING

Supposedly, WORRYING is NOT worth our time OR even be our thread today.  Simply because everyone feels afraid OR worried at times, BUT if these feelings begin to literally TAKE OVER your life, then we have a problem.  THEN, it is worth reconsidering that we spend a bit of time on this thread: When To WORRY About WORRYING.  NOT to raise alarms, though, the first threshold we should be wary to breach is what experts call GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER [GAD]💧💧💧

Problem is, we often endure the discomfort caused by GAD or we [wrongly] think that this is pretty normal.  In the end, this does NOT get flagged down as a problem.  BUT experts are warning us that if GAD is left alone to manifest, it may potentially lead to serious health problems [such as high blood pressure, depression and even addictive behavior like excessive drinking].  Admittedly, people with GAD will be unable to shake off that feeling that something BAD might happen and that they DON'T seem to be prepared .  They may even worry to excess about missing an appointment, losing a job, or having an accident📙📗📘

Surprisingly [and shockingly, some people even WORRY about WORRYING too much.  Now, before we miss out those tell-tale signs, allow me to share the below symptoms of GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER:

• Persistent, excessive extended WORRY on several things
• Fatigue and difficulty sleeping OR restlessness
• Trouble concentrating on task at hand
• Muscle tension
• Irritability
• That feeling tense

So, WHAT should we do?  Experts advise that first things first, let us acknowledge when we SEEM to be manifesting any of these common symptoms.  And that's our dilemma.  Many of us understand WHAT's causing their FEAR + WORRY but DON'T often want to face it.  Experts forewarn as well that physical symptoms can come in different forms and shapes.  And that includes racing heart, dry mouth, upset stomach, muscle tension, sweating, trembling and even irritability💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  WHETHER your doctor will advise you for medical treatment OR therapy, the 'ball is on your court'.  NOT to bad mouth pharmacology but medicines will offer you much greater symptom relief over time BUT there are potentially intangible help in the form of avoiding tendencies to EXAGGERATE difficulties OR unnecessarily concocting pessimistic assumptions, which exacerbate one's condition.  This is WHEN we need to WORRY on WORRYING❎❎❎

How To Leverage On Your Weaknesses

How To Leverage On Your Weaknesses

Have you ever felt like the weight of the world rests on your shoulders?  I can sense it because I've BEEN THERE, HAD THAT.  So, in life, we are all exposed to to various trying moments.  Like when we had to endure a stressful job interview.  What that kind of experience tells us is to be strong and believe in ourselves.  So, How do we Leverage On Your Weaknesses📗📙📘

Going through the wringer, sometimes fumbling BUT quite often surviving [and sometimes barely], we would learn how powerful confidence can be.  It's the kind of stuff that will keep you going, no matter what happens.  So, how do we move from hereon?  First off, let us accept our VULNERABILITY.  We all have that raw and tender side, the one that whispers fears, doubts and longings.  And indeed it is tempting to keep it under lock and key, to build a fortress around our hearts and project an image of unyielding strength💎💎💎

BUT WHAT IF we are told that VULNERABILITY isn't a weakness after all?  That it is that kind of a superpower we often overlook?  Let's visualize that daring tightrope walker, suspended up high above the ground.  Their every step is a calculated risk, a delicate dance between control and surrender.  They could easily build a safety net and close themselves off from the possibility of a potential fall.  BUT, without that VULNERABILITY, that openness to the UNKNOWN, there wouldn't be the breathtaking beauty of their performance💧💧💧

I came across this anonymous one-liner which kind of hit me:  VULNERABILITY IS THE COURAGE TO BE YOU.    So, it is NOT about spilling your secrets to every passerby but it is about acknowledging your humanness, flaws and all.  It is about showing up authentically, even WHEN it feels scary and trusting that your story deserves to be heard.  VULNERABILITY is that fertile ground where our human creativity gets uncorked and unraveled.  It is that raw material that somehow sparks and ignites our inner self.  And WHEN we dare to be VULNERABLE, we open ourselves up to possibilities😀😀😀

Our takeaway?  Let's go back the last time you shared a deep fear OR insecurity with a trusted friend.  HOW was it?  Did you feel the 'wall crumble'?  Did you feel much closer and more understood OR did you retreat further into your emotional isolation?  Thing is, our VULNERABILITIES are NOT our character flaws.  Instead, they are the cracks and chinks in our armor that let the light in, the imperfections that make us uniquely beautiful.  Accepting them ISN'T a sign of weakness BTW.  Instead, it is an act of immense courage, a declaration that we choose to live authentically even WHEN its risky.  After all, this is HOW TO LEVERAGE ON YOUR WEAKNESS, dude✅✅✅

Is Lost Memory Recoverable?

Is Lost Memory Recoverable?

Is Lost Memory Recoverable?  Yesirrrrrrrrs, the good news is that, akin to the lost data happening in our laptops and gadgets, LOST MEMORY is not all given up as LOST, thanks to the numerous medical studies.  Ironically, sometimes MEMORY of certain experiences remain crystal clear for life, like the moment you said "I DO".  Of course, other significant memories from long ago can be harder to recall BUT they may still be with you📗📙📘

This is worth noting, if I may reference some of the medical studies.  Of the many memories you accumulate every day, only those marked as 'MEANINGFUL' are recorded in your brain's "long-term" files.  Experts claim that we have a system in our brains that tags MEMORY  that are important in some way so we'll remember them in the future.  Surprise-surprise.  There are two things that tag a memory as special💎💎💎

EMOTIONS top the list.  Like getting married is an example of highly emotional events.  Experts claim that in that circumstance, a whole host of brain chemicals become active as these memories are being 'RECORDED'.  Close to the heels are memories of personal significance like WHEN you remember WHAT you had for breakfast this morning and WHAT clothes you wore yesterday.  BUT if we were asked about those in a few days or a month ago, you'll have NO MEMORY  for them because they're NOT just that important to you📌📌📌

Here's the catch though.  While experts claim that we can retrieve some of the significant LOST memory, aging affects retrieval.  And sometimes, even special or important MEMORIES  are harder to remember.  WHEN memory goes 'downhill' after age 30, to borrow medical jargon, by the time we're in our 50s, the frontal lobes [which are in charge of searching for memories] DON'T work as well as they used to be.  And here's a medical explanation that runs parallel to technology.  'BY NOT REVISITING THE MEMORY, YOU'RE TELLING YOUR BRAIN ITS NOT IMPORTANT'💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  We need to 'JOG' our memory because when we're younger, an internal cue [just thinking of something] can help retrieve a memory BUT when we're older, we rely more on external cues to retrieve memories, like a sound OR an image.  To reactivate our old memory, we must think about the senses that were engaged as the MEMORY was being recorded.  So dude, all is NOT LOST, literally speaking😀😀😀

Still Working HARD?

Still Working HARD?

WHETHER in work OR in life, most of us do strive to accomplish MORE in LESS time.  WOULDN'T it be nice to do in a few hours WHAT it used to take you half a day?  BUT by concentrating and minimizing distractions, YES YOU CAN.  So, if you're Still Working HARD, not to despair.  We can leverage on what battalions of experts have shared for us to leverage.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  We are NOT inciting people at the workplace to work LESS, NOT AT ALL sirrrrrrrrrs📗📙📘

Topping the list of recommendations is DELEGATION.  Delegate MORE.  Mastering that ART of DELEGATION is an essential skill.  BUT if you're a control freak, perfectionist or micromanager, it can be difficult.  Experts advise that the key is understanding that the ability to DELEGATE will make you more productive.  I've seen that many times in my life.  I had a colleague where we are all managing multiple projects.  BUT the problem arises when you start to work longer hours and YET you are unable to read and detect those bellwether signs and instead, you extend your work from 10-hour daily work to even twelve to fourteen hours.  One day, I talked to him, and gave him my unsolicited advice, which he did heed.  WHAT happened next, he talked to our Program Director and it was then mutually recognized that his workload was way beyond his bandwidth📌📌📌

Next most common miss we commit is our lack of focus on HIGH-IMPACT tasks.   Chances are, you have a mile-long task To-do List and instead of trying to accomplish everything or get to INBOX ZERO, focus on tasks that will have the greatest OR biggest impact.  Work SMARTER by concentrating on the things that are most critical💧💧💧

Next unpopular BUT very common miss we have is NOT KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT.  While it may seem counterintuitive, it is essential to know WHEN to shut down your computer for the day.  You know and you would see those TELL-TALE signs that your fuel tank is about to breach that EMPTY threshold. Before you know it your mind seems to wander, then you keep rereading the same content over and over again.  OR maybe you feel stuck and it's taking you half an hour just to write a simple email❎❎❎

Our takeaway?  A lot of times, when we are unable to DELIVER THE GOODS, the more common culprit points back to us.  NOT because we have tough customers, tough bosses, tough environments BUT it falls back on our lap due to these most common culprits.  Bottom line here is that LIFE is NOT about QUANTITY.  WHAT matters most are your ACTUAL deliverables, ACTUAL accomplishments.  Do you get credits for having a mile-long To-do List and accomplishing half of it?  No sirrrrs.  So, dude, let us WORK SMARTER✅✅✅

Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?

 Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?

Have we given that a thought, if at all?  That process when Are We THINKING About Our THINKING?  Just as water transforms into steam with heat OR solidifies into ice with cold, we too can often need a catalyst to transform our careers, relationships and lives.  BUT let's think about it, THINKING ABOUT OUR THINKING can be that process that may reshape our lives into something either new OR transformative.  In the field of psychology, experts called this METACOGNITION where it is defined as that practice of consciously watching, analyzing, evaluating and reflecting upon one's thought processes📗📙📘

Experts said that METACOGNITION often involves stepping back from our habitual patterns of thought and taking a bird's eye view of our mental landscape.  And studies figured out the reasons WHY we do that.  And the three-fold answer is as follows:

• To understand how we make decisions
• To solve problems sometimes based on the past
• To learn new things 

In brief, METACOGNITION really makes sense.

Experts analyzed that WHEN thoughts pop into your heads, they usually pop right back out.  BUT sometimes we invest a lot of importance to them.  Then those thoughts begin to mean something.  At worst, you feel to portend things to happen.  LIke when you're waiting for a job interview, when you think 'OH THIS IS GOING BAD' and all that stuff, you end up giving too much weight to it and you might take it as a prediction of the future rather than just awaiting for things to UNFOLD & then REACT💧💧💧

Experts claim that WHAT becomes worrisome is IF WHEN those kinds of NEGATIVE thoughts [which experts called 'COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS'] become habitual because WHEN it does, they claim it could lead to OR even exacerbate depression.  And when I did dig up into the results of their studies, what I unraveled is quite scary to even read.  One is ABSOLUTIST THINKING [when you think , 'I'M NEVER PREPARED' or 'EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME'❎❎❎

Another scary scenario is when we blurt, 'OH I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT PROMOTION. I WAS JUST LUCKY'.  And when one tends to overgeneralize, like when you made a single mistake, you tagged yourself as a TOTAL LOSER.  Our takeaway?  THINKING is fine BUT not to the extent of digging a hole deep enough to make things difficult for you to extricate from that hole😐😐😐

How Common Is Common Sense?

How Common Is Common Sense?

How Common Is Common Sense?  Hey dude, could a lack of common sense be holding you back in life?  For alignment, COMMON SENSE is a form of practical decision-making and the ability to imagine the consequences of something you do.  It then stops us from making irrational mistakes and makes it easier to make choices on WHAT to do.  We AREN'T born with COMMON SENSE BUT rather, we develop it over time📗📙📘

Like, it's the COMMON SENSE view to look before crossing the road, to bring the washing in from the line outside when it's raining, NOT to leave the candle alight WHEN you got to go out of the house, to complete an urgent OR important task first, BUT it's NOT just common to everyone, right?  Some people find it harder to think through the consequences of their actions and need to learn COMMON SENSE.  And for some highly intelligent people, they will never learn the COMMON SENSE-way BUT they then go on to make important discoveries to change the world, just like billionaire Elon Musk of late.  With intelligence, you will understand the reason it is raining but the COMMON SENSE view is to stay out of the rain OR take an umbrella OR raincoat, right❓❓❓

At work, we want to be with people WHO display COMMON SENSE as it makes our life just much easier.  They share a common view on WHAT needs to get done, appreciate the needs of the team and will properly complete a task and meet their deadlines.  It can often mean that we need to manage them more closely and this scuppers their chance of promotion.  Surprisingly, COMMON SENSE impacts us way beyond what we are probably aware of💧💧💧

Statistics also show that in the U.K., 68% of Brits believe COMMON SENSE is more important in a potential partner than good looks.  In fact, 48% of Brits wouldn't date someone WHO lacked COMMON SENSE and 20% have, in fact, DUMPED a romantic partner, all because of a lack of COMMON SENSE.  Indeed, WHEN our partner doesn't have COMMON SENSE, it can make us feel like their mother OR carer, constantly having to remind them to do things that most people would do with ease, like putting the bins out, lock the door❌❌❌

One of the interesting research studies shared that individual uniqueness of COMMON SENSE beliefs showed that agreement on COMMON SENSE  diminishes significantly in larger groups such that each person's idea of COMMON SENSE  may be uniquely their own, making the concept less common than one might expect.  Our takeaway?  COMMON SENSE is enhanced by personal experience, and to a far lesser degree, education.  That ability to perceive and discern a situation QUICK enough [and accurately at that] is usually enhanced by life experience.  To wrap-up this intellectual interchange, let's agree that COMMON SENSE  is WHAT we have BUT the other guy DOES NOT have.  Unfortunately, delving into a can of worms may NOT be fruitless unless one is a hungry bird?  After all, COMMON SENSE is not that COMMON😌😌😌

How Anger Helps Us?

How Anger Helps Us?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT inciting ANGER, NOT encouraging and definitely NOT condoning it.  BUT let's face it, ANGER happens because that's part and parcel of our life.  So, How Anger Helps Us?  Fortunately, despite all the downsides and repercussions of ANGER, there are upsides to it, despite it💵💴💷

So, HOW does ANGER help us in life?  Indeed, ANGER is a powerful emotion that requires some skill to manage and to contain.  On one extreme, UNCHECKED externalized ANGER can turn to violence and even aggression.  On the other hand, WHEN repressed, internalized ANGER can even cause depression, health problems and other difficulties💠💠💠

Somewhere midway, feeling and constructively expressing ANGER are essential and necessary to our health and well-being.  DO YOU KNOW that ANGER helps us to survive?  Research studies show that ANGER has played an important evolutionary role in ensuring survival.  Our primal 'fight' response stems from ANGER as it motivates us to vigilantly detect threats and sharpens our focus.  And WHEN our safety is at risk, our ANGER automatically activated and it drives us to defend ourselves, sometimes quickly and forcefully📗📙📘

And DO YOU KNOW that ANGER motivates us?  Studies discovered that ANGER is associated with what's called APPROACH-related motivation.  They assert that there are two basic motivational forces that underlie all behavior namely, THAT impulse to approach or move toward something desired, THAT impulse to withdraw or move away from unpleasantries.  In summary, APPROACH MOTIVATION comprises emotions, cognitions and actions that are driven by the wish to achieve results💧💧💧

Surprisingly, research shows that ANGER significantly activates our brain WHICH is associated with positive approach behaviors.  Our takeaway?  Emotions such as fear and sadness activate our brain which is tied to the more NEGATIVE, withdrawal motivational system marked by inhibition, timidity and avoidance of some kind of punishment OR threat.  Thus, ANGER can potentially provide you with the energy that may be necessary to take action towards achieving certain goals OR to correct unjust situations.  So, as long as we are able to contain our ANGER and leverage on it positively too boost our self-motivation, GO FOR IT, dude😀😀😀

Who Cares?

Who Cares?

We all have FEARS.  That's a given.  BUT our FEARS about what other people think of us are simply overblown and rarely worth fretting over. BUT Who Cares, seriously ? The real problem here ISN'T technology creeping in and disrupting our private lives BUT it's all human nature.  We seem to be wired to care about WHAT others think of us.  To quote Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman philosopher, 'We all love ourselves more than other people BUT care more about their opinion than our own' [that is, WHETHER they are friends, strangers OR even enemies].  This tendency may be natural BUT it can drive us around the bend if we let it.  And IF we were perfectly logical beings, we would understand that our FEARS about WHAT other people think are overblown and NOT worth fretting over📗📙📘

Problem is, OR rather, our BIGGER problem is that many of us [and I was guilty of this in the past] have been indulging this BAD habit for as long as we can remember, so we need to take deliberate steps to change our minds.  Which reminds me of this anonymous one-liner: "You've gotta dance like there's NOBODY watching, love like you'll NEVER get hurt, sing like there's NOBODY listening and live like it's HEAVEN ON EARTH'.  This is the conundrum most of us get caught and squeezed, often unable to wiggle out of the situation.  WHY?  Because by then we have developed that HABIT always thinking SOMEONE is watching, SOMEONE cares💎💎💎

It's true, across countries and cultures, there are kibitzers, snoopers and busybodies.  And I've blurted this out a zillion times in smaller circles.  THAT if you are in a room with ten other people, trust me, there are ten ideas, ten opinions.  WHAT you will get and hear is a cacophony and NOT a euphony.  WHY?  That is human nature.  Very extremely rare will you hear one retort like, "I'm sorry I can't comment because I DON'T have any inputs at all"📌📌📌

Looking back, when I took that LEAP OF FAITH by taking that highly risky initiative to explore for career opportunities in Singapore, I can quickly count that at the very least, I manage to somehow influence either directly OR indirectly the lives and futures of at least four families whose paths have definitely been rewritten ever since each of the four people picked up the gauntlet and did NOT ignore the opportunities in Singapore, Southeast Asia's undisputed financial and economic hub [overtaking Hong Kong year-on-year in all performance metrices].  If I cared with WHAT others will care, I could have been stucked in a cave💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  I am tempted to look back [with nostalgia] in my college days WHEN I was often afraid [AS IN] of being judged by other people.  And to get out of my comfort zone, I pushed myself to join university activities like the university editorial board and that led me to a path walk WHERE I gradually realized that, 'HEY, NO ONE CARES' so why should I?  From that point onwards, I did WHAT I wanted to do, I acted on things I deem it right, and I came up with informed decisions by factoring-in all inputs.  Fast forward today, WHO CARES?  Damn dude.  Do your thing, do your stuff😀😀😀

What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?

What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?

How many times have we heard this very POPULAR expression of FRUSTRATION: 'THERE IS NO USE CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK'.  That's why, WHEN it comes to stress and anxiety, many times we are our own worst enemy.  So, What's Our Appetite For FRUSTRATIONs?  We grip to events that we really need to let go of.  We have locked ourselves into a prison of HURT and yet we also hold the key.  ISN'T that a gross irony?  Furthermore, stress has been shown and proven in studies to be incredibly bad for NOT ONLY your emotional and psychological health BUT equally on your health.  BUT what's going on really?  When stress initiators never cease to slacken off from its frequency❓❓❓

BUT these days, we should heave a deep sigh of relief because experts have unraveled simple life hacks so we can let go of these pestering FRUSTRATIONS:

• LIKE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WERE RIGHT.  Things were going to turn out from bad to worse and you never ceased alerting everyone BUT nobody really listened.  Our FIX:  Let us remind ourselves that everyone makes mistakes.
• LIKE YOUR 'UGLY' BODY PART.  But hey, nobody is perfect.  Embrace your flaws instead

• LIKE THE JOKE THAT WENT TOO FAR.  And the worst part, you are the butt of it.  Take it like that person DIDN'T intend to take the joke too far.
• LIKE GETTING CUT OFF WHILE DRIVING.  Hey dude, whether you are in Bangkok, Mumbai OR Manila, reckless people are all over the road.  
• LIKE WHEN YOU DIDN'T GET THE CREDIT DUE.  And even worse when someone else got all the GLORY, hew.  Dude, BREAK FREE from the need to be approved by others.

• LIKE NOT TAKING THE CHANCE.  That seeming once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you missed out.  BUT have heard this a zillion times:  IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, SET IT FREE.  IF IT RETURNS, IT'S MEANT TO BE.
• LIKE when you said too much?  You try to catch your words BUT they have already fled from our mouth, oh oh.  BUT that happens even to the brightest
• LIKE when you were lied to.  Indeed, betrayal is brutal, period.  Like getting sucker punched.  BUT rather than punching back, catch them off guard by asking them what's going on in his life that caused him to do that?
• LIKE not keeping promises.  Shape up!

Our takeaway:  So, when pain, regret, anger and a sprinkling of crippling shame are creeping all over us, let us remember that the ugliest setbacks present AS the best possible opportunities.  Every single challenge you face in life presents us two options, namely:  you take it seriously and cry like a baby??? OR find the opportunity hidden within it.  Trust me, it's always there if you have the courage to find it, see it and nurture it.  To cap it all, stop being realistic because studies show that 97% of humans are in a brutal struggle against most others on a flat-playing field.  Yes, sometimes our friends may snigger but we will LAUGH LAST.  Meanwhile, let's retain that bandwidth to handle FRUSTRATIONS😌😌😌

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?

Frustrated With The BALANCING ACT?  BUT hey, 'BALANCE' is hugely overrated.  Like when you want to 'BALANCE' growth and comfort?  You really need to decide in choosing one.  You just CAN'T have the best of both worlds.  In a lot more 'nightmares' I witnessed some people WHO even want to focus in nine to ten things ALL AT THE SAME TIME, whew.  Fast-forward, WHAT happened?  In the end, they lost all the time and energy without making anything happen.  BTW, BALANCE  adds to CONFUSION, contrary to misconceptions💴💷💵

Thing is, things are totally different in every season, in every timing.  Priorities CHANGE.  Focus CHANGES.  Even mood CHANGES.  And CHANGES become the universal law in every season.  And throwing a monkey wrench, BALANCE just cuts off CHANGE.  Like WHEN you CAN'T lose the value of every season by inserting BALANCE into it.  It just removes the 'flavor of progress'.  Thing is, you DON'T have to quit a thing just because it ISN'T your priority.  It's true money can be your PRIORITY in the beginning of every year.  BUT that DOESN'T mean you cut off family time just that📗📙📘

Same thing happens WHEN family becomes the PRIORITY.   You DON'T cut off money from your life.  You just evaluate the importance of things in your life.  You never have to quit.  You just got to manage the LEVELS.  BTW, even REST can be a PRIORITY.  Yes we all live in a hustle world.  That's cool.  There ISN'T any short of ambition, energy and vision.  Undoubtedly, REST is part of that PRIORITY thing.  If you are the guy WHO thinks sleep OR rest is an enemy to ambition, you got to get over this 'shit' from your head.  BTW, REST fuels up ambition.  Anything beyond work is all you need to give a better meaning to life and get back to track with a horse-like FOCUS.  Thing is, PRIORITIES seems to kill that 'TRYING' thing.  A lot of folks NEVER make it because they believe they are trying stuff.  BUT hey, you just make things happen.  DON'T be that 'average guy' WHO tries a hundred different things BUT eventually gets nothing done.  BALANCE is like trying EVERYTHING❗❗❗

And PRIORITIES?  It just puts your head into a direction and gets you the things done.  At any given time, there are thousands of thoughts going on in one's mind.  And that typical day will tell you that NOT nearly all those things listed in your  To-do List are done.  But if we share anything, it is having that mind fulI of thoughts, questions and even uncertainties💧💧💧

Our takeaway today?  Life is a BALANCING ACT, more often than we acknowledge.  And we are all walking on  tight ropes, BALANCING each moment, each day, each relation, each personal and professional equation.  And as we grow older and our responsibilities increase the list of things to BALANCE also increases as we are walking so many tight ropes simultaneously.  The eventual CHOICE we all face could be any form from the numerous ones, e.g. marriage vs job, job growth vs raising family, job progression vs. stability, health vs long hours, mental stress vs growth and this goes on and on.  Still FRUSTRATED WITH THE BALANCING ACT?  It's all PRIORITIES, period✅✅✅