Relationship 101

Relationship 101

Before kickstarting this thread, please allow me to unconditionally declare that I am NOT a Relationship guru at all.  I had my fair share of UPs and DOWNs and even at this phase in my life, NO WAY will I even dream of coveting the level of a guru because even a zillion light years ahead, I would admit I DON'T have the qualifying credentials to give me that mantle of authority, NOT when it comes to Relationship 101.  Instead, whatever I impart are sharings culled from my travails in life, all the peaks and valleys I went through, hoping that by sharing my thoughts, we could spread out the GOOD tidings💴💷💵

BTW, a fulfilling and lasting relationship DOESN'T happen by accident.  Neither is it FOUND nor given on a silver platter.  Instead, it requires intention, commitment, and [damn] HARD WORK from both partners. So, if we want to build a SOLID foundation based on trust, respect and passion, we must be willing to cultivate the essential elements that serve as the building blocks of a healthy bond.  And by consciously integrating these pillars into the relationship.   An unshakeable foundation will lead towards transforming a relationship into one that thrives and grows stronger over time💊💊💊

So, before we get lost in the maze, let's FOCUS on the RELATIONSHIP FOUNDATION which refers to the core pillars and principles that provide a strong base for a healthy and thriving partnership.  This foundation determines how two people connect, interact, and relate to one another.  It establishes the degree of trust, respect, honesty, and commitment that anchors the bond.  A weak foundation leads to instability, uncertainty, and worst, disconnection.  BUT a strong foundation allows a relationship to flourish and weather even the worst inevitable storms in life📗📙📘

Now, can we guess who is a couple's BEST ALLY when there is widespread combination of apathy, doubt and pessimism in a budding relationship?  Our and your best ally is TIME.  I have witnessed relationships at its infancy stage where even relatives were doubtful that that relationship will flourish and last through the years.  BUT rather get into a needless argument with those naysayers, after ten years, a couple can proudly beat their chest that finally they have silenced the doubting Thomases📌📌📌

What has been pitched and preached a million times are TRUST, RESPECT and COMMUNICATIONS being the cornerstones of a relationship's foundation BUT what is often overlooked are the SHARED VALUES, the common core values and compatible life goals are significant glue in a relationship.  Couples need to share even ethical values around family, spirituality, communications, finances and way beyond those core values.  And while differences will arise, a fundamental shared view would go a long way to smoothen conflicts.  To cap this all, let's reinforce way beyond RELATIONSHIP 101❗❗❗

Are FLASHLIGHTS Still Relevant?

Are FLASHLIGHTS Still Relevant?

Are FLASHLIGHTS Still Relevant?  In today's digital age, just the word itself, 'FLASHLIGHT' will evoke reactions like it's part of the Jurassic Era.  NOT TOO FAST dude.  Let's spend today's thread to give me the chance to resuscitate the ICU-like stage of a FLASHLIGHT's role💴💷💵

This morning, this Facebook sharing 'hit me home'.  WHEN A FLASHLIGHT GROWS DIM or QUITS WORKING, DO YOU JUST THROW IT AWAY?  OF COURSE NOT.  YOU CHANGE THE BATTERIES. WHEN A PERSON MESSES UP, DO YOU CAST THEM ASIDE?  OF COURSE NOT.  YOU HELP THEM CHANGE THEIR BATTERIES.  SOME NEED AA - for attention & affection.  SOME NEED AAA - for attention, affection & acceptance.  SOME NEED C - for compassion.  SOME NEED D - direction📗📙📘

AND IF THEY STILL DON'T SEEM TO SHINE, SIMPLY SIT WITH THEM QUIETLY AND SHARE YOUR LIGHT.

Well said.  Indeed, it is true that many creative types are more inspired during the DARK TIMES we encounter in life.  And personally, I found that profound DARKNESS hinders creativity, and that my own 'creative juices' flow best when there's a balance between the darkness and the light.  People who know me quite well enough view me as someone who REACHES FOR THE LIGHT as much as possible with NO hesitation, even if it appears that I seem to be SEEKING HELP from others🔦🔦🔦

Some people, after going through their own DARKNESS, may easily move on OR 'get on with it' while others tend to linger in that DARKNESS.  Perhaps this has something to do with acknowledging or being mindful of one's SHADOW side.  The SHADOW may be thought of as the 'DUMPING GROUND' for undesirable traits or those characteristics that have NOT been brought into our consciousness❎❎❎

Those traits that we find distasteful in others are often CLUES to the characteristics of our SHADOW sides.  It has been said that we CANNOT know the LIGHT without experiencing the DARKNESS but at the same time, both DARK and LIGHT experiences are great teachers.  In fact, both GROWTH and TRANSFORMATION are born out of the DARKNESS.  Do we agree now that FLASHLIGHTS ARE THAT RELEVANT❗❗❗

When INTANGIBLES Matter

When INTANGIBLES Matter

In the new economy, VALUE isn't where it once was.  Solid, quantifiable assets like plants, equipment and inventory are now often far less indicative of a company's VALUE than INTANGIBLES like ideas, relationships,  and expertise.  This is When INTANGIBLES Matter.  Companies like Microsoft  and Google are at the 'top of the world' because of their INTANGIBLES.  But the truth is, as humans, we generally place a lot more importance on the tangible aspects of life as opposed to the INTANGIBLES.  We like to see, feel, touch, hear, and taste.  Our senses are acute and we need those senses served and stimulated📗📙📘

A TANGIBLE thing is something that can be touched, that can be palpated.  Something real and concrete.  That's WHAT we mostly desire.  The rat race in life is a perfect example of this TANGIBLE quality enthralls us.  And if it is NOT happening now, if the business is NOT growing, NOT making profit, it's NOT a VALUE to us.  If we DON'T get WHAT we want now, the venture is deemed a failure.  Where's the profit?  Success❓❓❓

So, that's the harsh reality.  Our lives are so rushed, so intense, so packed now that we must see tne TANGIBLES quickly, otherwise we will lose hope.  We want results RIGHT AWAY.  PATIENCE has been thrown out the window.  Instead of focusing on the HARD WORK and sustained dedication to the plan at hand, we focus on the results, the rewards💎💎💎

That's our common weakness as a human.  The 'FEEL GOOD' results and outcomes that we connect with better.  Those palpable results!  We want to skip over the process to hold the results in our hands.  We want the TANGIBLES right now, the part of the process we can identify with, because others can also see them and we attribute our VALUE to those TANGIBLES✅✅✅

BUT c'mon dude, let's NOT debate that the INTANGIBLES have the most VALUE.  Those aspects of our lives that we CAN'T measure, touch or palpate are the most valuable. Education.  Dedication.  Self-confidence.  Faith.  Loyalty, and the list goes on, these are examples of INTANGIBLES in our lives.  We just CAN'T skip over these ever-so-important INTANGIBLE traits just because we are so focused on tangible results❌❌❌

How Do We Gain More RESPECT?

How Do We Gain More RESPECT?

How Do We Gain More RESPECT?  Oh, you might react, WHAT A BORING TOPIC for today but allow me to push hard for this to be our thread.  Now, let's dive as deep as we can in our thread today.  Fact is, NOT all human behavior makes a whole lot of sense BUT why DON'T we focus on small-small HABITS that will turn others to us

HOW ABOUT sharing something you dislike about yourself.  I've done this quite a few times, especially when I meet people for the first time.  I would warn them that they need to get used to my persona because my face DOESN'T smile BY DEFAULT [unlike those charming lotharios WHO seem smiling even when strangers walk on opposite directions.  Oh we're all terrified of being banished from the crowd and looked at funny, so most of us put energy into appearing wonderful, flawless and virtuous

WHY don't we GO AGAINST THE GRAIN and tell us something you dislike about yourself.  That immediately puts you in the MINORITY and shows us something cool.  Now, this becomes debatable if we're advised to SMILE LESS.  BUT there seems to be a mystery to those WHO DON'T always smile when you expect them to.  We are intelligent beings and can sense insincere grins.  We're also tired of FAKEDNESS.  If someone smiles at everything, it takes the power out of any smile

Being sparing with your smiles can show discernment, a thoughtful mind and authenticity.  NOW, how about REPEATING THEIR WORDS.  Most people are hell-bent on emptying out everything they want us to know about their lives and problems.  Few take a moment to turn it around and help others feel heard.  A powerful way to do this is to REPEAT BACK some of what people say.  This reinforces a strong bond between you and the person you interact with

NOW, how about being UNDISTRACTED?  The worst 'turn off' is when someone talks and seeks your attention, your attention DOESN'T seem undivided.  Place yourself in the shoes of someone earnestly talking to you while there you are, 'hostaged' by that gadget where you are tied up to social media and even making facial reactions that are obviously NOT related to the person who's reaching out to you.  So, HOW DO WE GAIN MORE RESPECT❓❓❓

How Far PATIENCE Can Bring You?

How Far PATIENCE Can Bring You?

How Far PATIENCE Can Bring You?  Very far, dude.  And probably I shift the klieg lights back to myself because I'm willing to be the advocate of pushing and stretching PATIENCE in our life.  Personally, I've gone through the wringer, where my PATIENCE was tested and stretched way beyond what is fathomable.  And I have to admit that there were a few times in the past when my PATIENCE almost snapped, that last strings and fibers of the rope [I was clinging to] almost gave in.  And the easy way out for me then was to simply give up but I decided to cling on, hang on, and squeeze the last drop of sweat out of myself.  Oh, I did survive💴💷💵

Indeed, PATIENCE is the key to progress towards SUCCESS.  And SUCCESS is achieving WHAT we want.  SUCCESS is carrying out plans so that GOALS can be achieved successfully and SUCCESS in making the people around us happy.  The definition of PATIENCE is very simple if we interpret it using our conscience.  To be a PATIENT individual seems very easy for us to cultivate in our minds BUT it is very difficult to practice it in reality. To become a PATIENT individual, you must understand WHAT your life goals are📗📙📘

You have to know WHY you have to be PATIENT and more importantly, you have to know WHY it is important for every human being to instill an attitude of PATIENCE in their life journey.  My personal sharing goes back to the past difficulties I had to face and then I learned my LESSONS the HARD WAY, that to achieve something, I have to be PATIENT💎💎💎

Just as a farmer takes good care of his plants, if he loves WHAT he does, we can expect that he'll take good care of his plants, waters them, fertilizes them, and waits PATIENTLY, then 100% of the plants will grow ideally and the farmer will get good results for his HARD WORK.  You DON'T even need to push yourself too HARD because that will hurt you❎❎❎

So WHAT's our takeaway today?  You just need to achieve your GOALS with an ideal plan.  Everything will be easy for you to get IF you can plan it well.  PATIENCE is the key to success for every individual.  PATIENCE is the best way to achieve SUCCESS.  PATIENCE will give bitterness t the beginning BUT will give sweetness at the end.  That's HOW FAR PATIENCE CAN BRING YOU❗❗❗

How Powerful Is TIME?

How Powerful Is TIME?

We usually think that in order to complete creative, massive life projects and tasks, we need to put into 'hours and hours' of focused, dedicated work.  Whether it's about baking cake with your latest recipe or blogging or vlogging, we would think 'OH, I NEED TO ADD AN HOUR OF WORK' to make some progress.  That's really How Powerful Is TIME❓❓❓

I have observed this very common habit [and I admit, I had this habit too in the past].  Like when we need to do something to do, we would start either at 9:00, 9:30, 1:30, etc.  Most of us DON'T feel starting at 8:58. 10:07. 1:12.  WHY?  No sensible reasons there except that those time stamps just look UNATTRACTIVE to us📗📙📘

And because of that mindset, some precious minutes have been DUMPED to waste for NO REASON, the minutes that we could have done something useful. And worst of all worse, NO ONE [amongst us] would even consider that as a BAD HABIT !@#$%?  BUT c'mon dude, if we spend one minute doing something productive, like reading as an example, then we'll be one minute closer to have progressed in our reading💎💎💎

In fact, here's my realization from the past.  There's NO real benefit I can think of that comes out of playing games.  Anyway, the point here is that even SMALL MINUTES can add up to certain results and they can even dictate WHO we will become in the future.  Let's do some number crunching.  If I spend only 15-30 minutes reading everyday, I'll be finished reading 15 books in 1 year❗❗❗

Alternatively, if I spend 3 hours every single day watching TV, by the end of the month, I'll be spending 90 hours in front of that screen.  That's almost 4 full days and by yearend, that's 1,095 hours on TV equivalent to 45 days, whew!  Our takeaway today is NOT to undervalue OR underestimate how POWERFUL TIME is because of its impact to us as well✅✅✅

When GOLD Turns Into GARBAGE

When GOLD Turns Into GARBAGE

How often in our life do we get shocked When GOLD Turns Into GARBAGE?  Likely NOT often but likely sometimes, right?  I can say that with confidence because throughout my life, I did miss some opportunities here and there, some which were supposedly potential 'game changers' while most of the time, they were NOT that 'earth shaking' but nevertheless, it would be grossly irresponsible of me to simply sweep all those LESSONS IN LIFE under the bushel of oblivion💴💷💵

Everyday in life, we face lots of opportunities.  Many are obvious WINS, others are clear LOSSES  and the majority of the time, hindsight is twenty-twenty.  As a worker and as part of our families, we do make lots of decisions that impact us as well as others' lives.  And much as we endeavor that our decisions align with our core values, hindsight is twenty-twenty📗📙📘

I did had my early MISSED opportunity in life when I purposely passed off that opportunity for me to pursue my 'DREAM JOB' [to be a lawyer] and at that time, I was enrolled in my country's top law school.  BUT when I received a job offer to join a multinational oil company, I lost no time in abandoning my law studies and did a 90-degree and shifted over to information technology.  Of course, I had to weigh the PROs and CONs, and I admit I did my due diligence that time💎💎💎

Fast forward today, it could come out as a bad DECISION.  BUT again, DECISION from the past are always easier to make in the future.  You've learned new information , seen the ACTS OF GOD play out, and watched FATE direct destiny.  There's just nothing like the feeling of looking back on a great DECISION, one that makes you a ton of money or puts you in the right spot at the right time❗❗❗

On the other hand, there are DECISIONS that play out differently than expected.  Most of the time, if you are teachable and dedicated, we can call these as learning experiences.  Then, there are the other ones, the life-changing DECISIONS that you can never take back, maybe you could have been on the founding team of a startup that grew BIGGER than BIG like Uber, Grab or Facebook BUT took another path.  Indeed, those past DECISIONS will impact one deeply.  And they will stay with you and visit you in our MOMENTS of WEAKNESS.  Our takeaway is, where possible, let us avert GOLD Turning Into GARBAGE❎❎❎

In The Eyes Of The People

 "In The Eyes Of The People"

Citigroup, the world's biggest bank recently announced a 'major-major' reorganization [a.k.a. SHAKEUP] that would cut down many management layers to accelerate decision-making and at the helm is its CEO Jane Fraser a.k.a. 'FRASER THE RAZOR' and what struck me right into my nerves was her statement "YOU ARE GIVEN THE JOB OF A BOSS BUT YOU HAVE TO EARN THE RIGHT TO LEAD THE BUSINESS In The Eyes Of The People

It's true that whenever we mention 'BUY IN', by default, it ALWAYS refers to things happening within a work environment OR organization.  BUT hey, 'BUY IN' applies to both our personal and work/business life.  In most endeavors or initiatives, getting that 'BUY IN' is a MUST-do, a MUST-have📗📙📘

Speaking from a generic perspective, 'BUY IN' is critical to initiate a CHANGE whether it's something to happen in our home or at work.  Let's simplify the scenarios at home wherein you want to renovate your home, add extra floor space by adding a new room.  You may be the head of the family and the financier for the home renovation BUT you need to get the 'BUY IN' of your partner/spouse at the very least💎💎💎

In a work or business environment, getting that 'BUY IN' is equally imperative.  UNLESS you win the support for your ideas and/or proposed CHANGE, that idea OR that proposed CHANGE will likely NOT happen OR if there is an attempt to roll out that CHANGE, that roll out may FAIL.  BUT as any leader can attest, getting the true 'BUY IN' is never easy.  One significant factor is that the process we use to secure 'BUY IN' is inherently flawed.  In fact, we DON'T approach it as BUYING at all but instead, about SELLING IN that idea, that proposed CHANGE❗❗❗

While we always here getting the 'BUY IN', it's apt to call this as "DESCRIBE and DEFEND".  We develop an idea, sell it to ourselves first, and then go about selling it to others.  We consider every objection and develop an 'air tight' defense for each idea.  The problem is that we need others to be open to our influence, be it at home or at work.  When they feel SOLD to, they are more likely to resist OR ignore our entreaties.  Real 'BUY IN' involves at least some element of 'CO-CREATION' where it invites discussion, debate and allows everyone to feel even more vested in the outcome.  As Citigroup CEO 'FRASER THE RAZOR' said, "IN THE EYES OF THE PEOPLE"😁😁😁

Skepticism Vs Cynicism

Skepticism Vs Cynicism

Skepticism Vs Cynicism are often getting mixed up because of the very thin line that separates them.  BUT before we get mixed up, we're all skeptics and CYNICS in some aspects of our lives.  Having a 'jaundiced' view of politicians is quite understandable BUT in a business or in relationships, CYNICISM can be a deathknell💴💷💵

While a SKEPTIC questions the world about him and seeks the truth while basing his own opinions on the most recent, most credible facts.  In contrast, a CYNIC feels NO need to seek the truth because they believe they already possess it.  Yes, CYNICS are without faith, yet they have absolute certitude of the validity of their beliefs📗📙📘

Skeptical contrarians question conventional wisdom, where appropriate, BUT not as a reflexive response.  They ZIG when everyone is ZAGGING.  A SKEPTIC accepts conventional wisdom until presented with information that leads him to a different opinion.  In contracts, CYNICS reject conventional wisdom outright, without analysis or a studied critique.  Being SKEPTICAL of conventional wisdom is healthy and can lead to the discovery of opportunities.  However, studies show that CYNICISM seem to automatically reject conventional wisdom is intellectually lazy and foolish💎💎💎

And according to researches, the highest form of SKEPTICISM is to be a SELF-SKEPTIC.  Successful entrepreneurs accomplish this by overcoming confirmation bias which psychologists define as "A TENDENCY TO SEARCH FOR OR INTERPRET INFORMATION IN A WAY THAT CONFIRMS ONE'S PRECONCEPTIONS, LEADING TO ERRORS".  Unlike a CYNIC who is certain everyone is wrong, the only thing a self-skeptic is assured of is that they might go wrong✅✅✅

But let me clarify this out.  At some points in our life, each of us could have been either a CYNIC or an SKEPTIC.  As humans, we CAN'T deny that we are vulnerable to let our own pendulum swing, sometimes from one end to the farthest end.  BUT I was far more a SKEPTIC many times as against being a CYNIC because being a CYNIC will bring me nowhere while as a SKEPTIC, I'm cocksure to still be able to more than just MOVE THE NEEDLE ❗❗❗

Surprise, Surprise - BENEFITS of EXERCISE

Surprise, Surprise - BENEFITS of EXERCISE

You'll be SURPRISE, the BENEFITS of EXERCISE goes way beyond our HEALTH.  In fact, studies have mostly come to the conclusion that BENEFITS of EXERCISE befits its tagging as the HOLY GRAIL OF MOTIVATION.  While to many people, 'EXERCISE' is offensive, fact is, a significant percentage of people [and I'M ONE OF THE GUILTY ONES!] find little reason to EXERCISE at all💴💷💵

Here's like a worldwide perception that Americans are EXERCISE buffs but a study by the CDCP [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] says only 28% of Americans are meeting physical activity guidelines as set by the agency, whew.  What percentage can we guess from the Third World Population which according to UNCTAD [United Nations Conference for Trade And Development] comprises 83% of the world population as of 2022📗📙📘

Back to EXERCISE, the most obvious reason [where these should be consensus] is that it improves our HEALTH as it strengthens our body, helps manage our weight, and enhances our everyday abilities.  Now here's the BONUS stuff.  Being fitter and healthier is a great MOTIVATOR.  Often, people DON'T jump out bed in the morning ready to work towards their goal because they simply DON'T feel well💎💎💎

That link between physical strength and mental strength is well established across as is the link between a healthy diet and mental health.  Aside from the obvious health benefits, the act of EXERCISING can feel good and give you a BOOST.  Studies show that during the EXERCISE, our body produces dopamine, serotonin and endorphins, chemicals released in our brain when things are PLEASANT✅✅✅

Studies further revealed that these mood-boosting chemicals also improve our ability to focus and alleviate negative emotions as they are essential part of one brain's 'REWARD SYSTEM'.  These hormones are also produced WHEN we do things we love such as eating our favorite food, laughing at a funny joke, getting positive recognition. among others.  NOW, I have to admit that I have to 'WALK THE TALK' given these BENEFITS of EXERCISE lest I be misconstrued of a double-speak❌❌❌