Hard Problems, Anyone?

Hard Problems, Anyone?

No sirrrrs, I'm NOT putting up a false front as a Mr FIX IT, not at all.  Instead, we'd like to share common [and proven] practices to handle Hard Problems, if at all.  BUT hey, this is life, we face PROBLEMS everyday no matter how perfect we think we and our life are.  PROBLEMS are there and they aren't going anywhere UNLESS we face them and FIX it💴💷💵

Acknowledging our problems, solving them, and getting on with our life is better than making it all a BIG DEAL.  Frankly, if I realize something early in life, it's that PROBLEMS should NOT become a source of our sorrow, hurt and worst, grief.  WHEN getting on with our life, we may encounter plenty of barriers and issues that may distract us from our real path.  Sometimes, we DON'T have our full potentials to deal with the issues BUT if we know WHAT we are dealing with, we can do better.  Once we have a clear perspective of WHAT problems we have in our life, there is an absolutely high probability that we can deal with them in a much better way📗📙📘

NOT to dampen hopes or darken the horizons, it's best that we rattle off the most common problems in life so that IF [with crossed fingers] it hits us, we WON'T like fall off from our chair.  HEALTH CRISIS is one.  There just comes a time in our life when we or someone within our family is NOT healthy💎💎💎

WORKPLACE issues.  For it to happen, it's just normal.  There is just NOTHING perfect.  NEW organization.  NEW colleagues.  NEW client.  NEW project,  You just got to face an issue head-on.  EMPTINESS?  Yes, let's admit it.  Now and then, our life becomes dull, seemingly unproductive [although we think we're productive enough] and sometimes, we get a feeling that there is NOTHING we can change.  And that leads to EMPTINESS❎❎❎

FAILURE.  Whew, this could be one of the worst problems ever.  FAILURE is something we got to learn dealing with because this is a FACT OF LIFE.  BUT trust me, we should be able to face [and even contain] FAILURE by accepting it and MOVING ON.  FINANCIAL CRISIS may also knock us off from time to time.  C'mon, even if you thought you're READY enough financially, there will be BAD TIMES when it will hit you [sometimes HARD].  HARD PROBLEMS?  Should be 'NO PROBLEM.  BEEN THERE.  DONE THAT'❗❗❗

Stay The Course

Stay The Course

In the midst of changes that get into our life, sometimes we do slip off the course , it happens.  A few things ed to this slip but more often, the biggest culprit is our own thinking.  Let us watch our thoughts, no matter how resilient we are, life can steer off course within a matter of seconds, IF we are NOT careful.  Regardless, we got to try to Stay The Course💷💴💵

C'mon, CHANGE brings CHALLENGES.  No one hands us our DREAM LIFE on a silver platter.  It just DOESN'T work that way.  It can be a real struggle and likely we will encounter opposition along the way.  Years back, I made HUGE changes in my life, working through personal issues and leaving my home country.  CHANGE is a process.  Deciding to CHANGE our life is the first step, doing it is the second, and the third is to Stay The Course📙📘📗

So what do we do in the midst of CHANGES in our life?  Primero, from my personal experience, try to RESIST THE URGE TO CHANGE THE NEXT ADRENALINE RUSH.  Building the life we want takes time and it's NO longer about quick thrills that give you an ADRENALINE RUSH.  We do all like the buzz of something NEW and EXCITING but after a while, the 'DRUG WEARS OFF' and we're back to FEELING ORDINARY again❌❌❌

Now, here's a tough one.  FILTER OUT all possible distractions.  That is crucial enough.  It's time to streamline your thoughts and actions.  It calls for FOCUS.  Look for that ENERGY leaks in your life.  Anything that's draining your ENERGY needs to be examined.  Start with your home and office.  How tidy is it?  Do you hoard things?  When was the last time you cleared your closet✅✅✅

In your COMPASS in LIFE, you got to learn from others BUT do your own thing.  Usually, CHANGES involves gaining new knowledge and skills.  You need to learn from those who are doing WHAT you want to do.  BUT, once you gain the basic skills and knowledge, you need to put your own stamp on it.  Stay true to yourself for if you start to copy others, you will lose that creativity.  To STAY THE COURSE is not a steep mountain to climb❗❗❗

The Randomness Of Life

The Randomness Of Life

I DON'T intend to resurface that dreaded 9/11 attacks that caused almost 3,000 deaths [to be precise, 2,977 victims + the 19 hijackers].  Enough of that though.  Instead, the 9/11 memory brings me back that story about Elise O'Kane, the United Airlines flight attendant whose life got saved all because of The Randomness Of Life💴💷💵

That time, Elise O'Kane wanted her usual flight from Boston to Los Angeles on 09.11.2001.  BUT when she logged into their system, she keyed in an incorrect code into the airline's computer system and ended up assigned to the wrong flight [instead of Flight UA 175].  Then Elize O'Kane tried other attempts to talk it out with other flight attendants to get assigned to Flight UA 175.  All those became efforts in futility NOT until the hijackers struck Flight UA 175 right to the World Trade Center's South Tower.  That typo error saved the life of Elize O'Kane, THANK YOU LORD📗📙📘

Fast forward today, Elize O'Kane, after taking the time to consider what such a meaningful PLAN might be, she eventually switched career to become a nurse, feeling a 'NEED TO GIVE BACK and FULFILL HERSELF'.  On the other hand, Marco DeMarco, an emergency-service officer with the New York Police Department at that time had a different take on his own survival in the World Trade Center.  To quote him: 'WHY DID I GET OUT?  IF I HAD MADE A RIGHT INSTEAD OF A LEFT, IF I HAD BEEN TWO MINUTES SLOWER', likely he would have NOT survived 9/11💎💎💎

Given those 'miracle stories', do we then subscribe to the RANDOMNESS of LIFE?  NO sirrrrrs, let us PLAN by default.  Let us NOT subscribe to the RANDOMNESS of LIFE because that's NOT the way to LIVE LIFE.  So you might challenge me, WHY PLAN?  DON'T look far.  Let's just read and hear thousands of stories like the stories of O'Kane and DeMarco as they overwhelm us by the unfair RANDOMNESS of LIFE❌❌❌

Those epochal circumstances and fatal OR life-saving decisions so ordinarily meaningless that it's simultaneously easy to see either the 'supernatural guiding hand of a higher power' OR is it the sheer banality of CHANCE?  Suffice it to say that psychologists say that our brains SEEK PATTERN and PURPOSE.  And those traits do evolve to detect CAUSE and EFFECT.  It is very common for us to believe that 'EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON' and that things are 'MEANT TO BE' but that should enlighten us that we are more likely to believe that significant events were 'FATED' than to attribute them to chance.  Let's take a leaf from SUPER MARIO, the main hero of the Mushroom Kingdom.  He's always bright and cheerful but you WON'T see the RANDOMNESS of LIFE in him❗❗❗

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?  Oh yes, indeed it is a tough situation to never get invited to anything.  It would make you feel LEFT OUT, and it will be much harder for you to get into that 'CIRCLE' that gives the misguided impression of exclusivity.  And as terrible as the situation is, there are a lot of things we can do to ensure we get 'pulled in' in various ways and means the next time around💴💷💵

NOT all of that can be your fault though.  There will always be a lot of external factors that fall into play as well.  BUT here's a bright note to an otherwise gloomy horizon.  While there are things that are way BEYOND your CONTROL, there are things you can ACTUALLY change.  And that's WHAT and WHERE we should focus on.  Of course you need to do some real soul-searching like and you'll be surprise that by embedding some of these very obvious observations📗📙📘

And the most obvious reason is we may NOT be that close enough with the people around us.  Let's face it, sometimes we expect to be INVITED to join a 'circle' BUT since we DON'T have a 'concrete relationship' with those around us, it never crosses the minds of others to ever INVITE us, if at all💎💎💎

Sometimes, personalities come into play.  Like WHAT IF others [wrongly] perceive us as 'NOT FUN TO BE AROUND'.  As terrible as it may sound, let's admit it that there are people WHO never give INVITED to anything because they're "UNFUN' to be around.  Who knows we were once INVITED in the past BUT they felt they sucked the life and FUN OUT OF THE ROOM❎❎❎

So, WHAT do we do IF/WHEN we're NOT invited in a social circle or social event?  Experts advise us to be MORE APPROACHABLE.  Rather than look at the fault of others, ask ourselves to exert efforts to be MORE APPROACHABLE.  And when body language comes, we need to manifest that 'OPENNESS'.  And here's a tough one. Let's be MORE OPTIMISTIC.  If that is something we're NOT used to doing, we'll need to start getting used to it [from now on].  Start seeing things positively and eventually, that will rub off on others' perspective of you.  And from that point onwards, it's NOT far-fetched for the stars to get aligned  ✅✅✅

BAD Habits Are More Than Just A Menace

BAD Habits Are More Than Just A Menace

We're just human and therefore, committing mistakes is as normal as day and night.  BUT studies have shortlisted the top BAD HABITS that Are More Than Just A Menace and out of the top, studies have single out the worst ever BAD HABITS that all add up as paving the way for one to FAIL.  In brief, there is NO single factor causing us to FAIL💴💷💵

Indeed we have all worked with people WHO are star performers BUT have one serious personality shortcoming that makes life difficult for everyone OR limits their effectiveness OR often proves to be their own undoing.  Examples are, one person tends to take on too much work, another scorns the 'behind-the-scene' politicking needed to win support for his/her initiatives OR someone sees a downside in every proposed CHANGE.  To quote one of the executives surveyed in a recent research, '95% BRILLIANT, 5% DISASTER'.  We call those destructive behaviors as "BAD HABITS" as a short way of referring to our deeply-rooted flaws📗📙📘

As no one is perfect, we all wrestle with demons and make mistakes.  BUT we're NOT using this to describe compulsions like smoking or nail biting.  BUT again let's admit that 'BAD HABITS' are a central part of one's personalities.  And at best, people tend to create their own 'GLASS CEILINGS', limiting their success and their contributions.  What's quite bothering is the reason why each of us have our respective 'BAD HABITS' and the obvious reason [as per studies] is our inability to understand the world from the perspective of other people.  It's the lack of empathy, period💎💎💎

Having a well-developed sense of empathy is essential if one is to deal successfully with one's peers.  Another common reason is our failure to recognize WHEN and HOW to use power as many people feel a deep ambivalence about the utility and value of power.  These feelings often stem from unconscious fears of our capacity for destructiveness❎❎❎

And sometimes, it is due to our failure to come to terms with authority. as children, we often rebel against our parents even as we want to remain under their protection.  Some people get stuck at one of the extremes.   At one end are those WHO defy authority in every possible instance.  At the other end are those WHO are overly deferential.  Lastly, it's our NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE.  Poor esteem can come from various factors.  Some people feel pressure from our achievement-driven culture.  Indeed, BAD HABITS are more than just a menace❗❗❗

What's Ailing Our Goal Targets?

What's Ailing Our Goal Targets?

Honestly, many of us DON'T have problems with goal-setting.  From that goal-setting perspective, everything looks PICTURE PERFECT.  So, WHAT'S really going on?  What's Ailing Our Goal Targets? The thing is, everyone of us are literally caught in a CYCLE.  It's the time of the year again.  The CYCLE never gets old.  Let me guess.  You're looking back the past year, the trials and tribulations.  AGAIN❓❓❓

Then a new year looms in.  Then your optimism spikes, SO convinced that this 2024 will be different [and BETTER!@#$%?].  Again, thinking up a GOAL is the easy part.  Pinpointing the specifics of a GOAL, developing a plan of action and then following through with that plan of action and pushing past the inevitable obstacles that will arise is a different story altogether.  It would be easy to blame people's avoidance of PAIN when they fail in their GOALS📗📙📘

Most experts speak with one voice when they single out our human propensity to SHIFT FOCUS from reward to effort.  Thinking about the END RESULT and achieving the victory of reaching the GOAL is exciting.  And it is very common to see us [and that includes moi too!] start things out full of ENERGY and MOTIVATION at the beginning because our FOCUS is on the END RESULT💎💎💎

BUT here's the UNDOING.  Psychologists claim that there is a DISCONNECT with our brain's FOCUS before we start our GOALS and after we actually begin.  Before we start putting the work in, we're so FOCUSED on the REWARD.  Then, slowly BUT surely, we begin to FOCUS more on the effort it takes to get that REWARD.  Key is to redirect our FOCUS back to the REWARD✅✅✅

The next most common miss we offer suffer the brunt of is when GOALS are either NOT clearly defined or simply unrealistic.  Perhaps you want to be the next YouTube star and that's great as there's nothing wrong about it.  BUT how do you plan to make that happen unless it's just a wishy-washy fantasy.  So please let us revisit WHAT'S AILING OUR GOAL TARGETS❗❗❗

Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY

Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY

Is it ture that Comparison Is The THIEF of JOY?  Me thinks YES.  BUT not for us to get despaired because studies do share how we can avoid being caught in that TRAP.  To borrow a common expression of hikers in North America's Appalachian Mountains:  HIKE YOUR OWN HIKE', that is, resist the urge to COMPARE how many miles you cover in a day how far other hikers are traveling.  Nevertheless, let's admit the urge to make comparisons is strong amongst us💴💷💵

Indeed, making COMPARISONS can be harmful and detract from our HAPPINESS.  Sadly, the ways we make COMPARISONS may give us a biased account of our own skills, experiences and capabilities.  Research shows that what underlies this dilemma is FOMO [that FEAR of MISSING OUT] and the sense that others have better social lives than ourselves do.  Apparently, quite many people feel that they spend more time ALONE, go to fewer parties and are part of fewer social circles than other people, including their close friends.  BUT apparently, the root cause of this is comparing oneself to highly visible and sociable people📗📙📘

Our common mistakes revolve around making biased comparisons in other domains, like when we compare ourselves to the fittest person, the best cook we know.  Unsurprisingly, this means that we feel that we fall short of others WHEN we evaluate our own fitness, our cooking and so on.  However, it's clear that WHO we compare ourselves to matters, is something we can control💎💎💎

To quote social cognitive psychologists, their studies show that WHEN we want to feel better about ourselves, we make COMPARISONS to people worse off than we are [or even think of ways that things might have been worse than they are].  WHEN we want to improve, though, we COMPARE ourselves to people WHO are better than we are❌❌❌

This becomes especially effective if we COMPARE ourselves to people we feel like we can realistically become.  In short, COMPARISONS can be the THIEF OF JOY but studies are giving us antidotes.  Primero, recognize that you're likely using an unrealistic target when evaluating yourself.  Segundo, consider WHAT you're trying to achieve when making a COMPARISON.  Tercero, if COMPARISONS have you feeling down, spend some time thinking about POSITIVES, hoping you'll realize that in general, people are NO BETTER THAN YOU❗❗❗

When Do You QUENCH Or QUELL Your Thirst?

When Do You QUENCH Or QUELL Your Thirst?

When Do You QUENCH Or QUELL Your Thirst? Well, we would QUENCH our thirst when we feel thirsty, obviously.  How often do we hear, 'I'VE FINISHED MY MAIN COURSE BUT I'M STILL HUNGRY'.  Even that expression may just be a SIGN of the TIMES.  And the Baby Boomers may well be the last generation to experience life in the traditional stages, namely, PREPARING FOR WORKING LIFE, your WORKING LIFE and then your life AFTER WORKING LIFE💴💷💵

It happens already even when eating as we NO longer limit ourselves to a sitting of entree, main course and dessert.  We eat what we like to eat.  Our perception of our traditional journey through life is going the same way with people deciding WHEN and for HOW long they will work and in whatever order suits one's thinking.  We tend to live life ON OUR OWN TERMS.  No longer is life centered on work though of course work still serves a vital role to our lives📗📙📘

So, WHAT do we want in our 'dessert years'?  WHAT will be the unique ingredients in your preferred recipe?  Certainly, you want it to taste great and to satisfy your hunger to keep on moving forward, growing in mind, body and spirit, enjoyed to the last drop.  Fact is, we live in a rapidly-changing, highly mobile society where individual creativity, innovation, challenge and the DESIRE to keep moving forward is becoming the norm.  In fact, age means little now as we unleash our talents💎💎💎

The 'dessert years'. however, are less about a period of time in our life.  More they are about a change in our attitude towards what life is all about.  The 'dessert years' begin when we start thinking about a transition in our life's priorities from doing WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO to doing WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO.  For most of that transition begins to take place long before any thought of quitting paid employment❗❗❗

Transitioning from making WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO and moving over to WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO won't happen overnight BUT the very thought will drive us towards our coming years.  They say everything happens in three's and that applies to life itself.  Thing is, our life is a CONTINUUM IN PROGRESS, growth and self-actualization.  Takeaway today is for us to know WHEN to QUENCH or QUELL our THIRST in life✅✅✅

When Do You ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE

When Do You ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE

Supposedly, this is quite a boring thread, talking about CHALLENGES because we all know that life is full of UPs and DOWNs.  One day, you may feel like you have it all figured out and then in a moment's notice. you've been thrown a CURVE BALL.  Hey dude, this is no isolated story.  Everyone has to face their own set of CHALLENGES.  Question is When Do You ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE💴💷💶

Learning how to overcome will help you stay centered and remain calm under pressure.  And as much as have our individual preferences as to how we should face the CHALLENGES in life, this is NOT rocket science because we have learned quite a few basic lessons in life.   First off. let's MAKE A PLAN.  Whether you are a student or a worker, do anticipate the types of CHALLENGES ahead and plan ahead based on that📗📙📘

Now, before you hit a LOW POINT, always remember you're NOT alone in that kind of predicament.  Some may handle or even hide it better than others.  BUT the truth is, whatever you are going through, there are others WHO have been through it too.  So, you're NOT alone.  You just need to speak out your feelings and express your concerns in life💎💎💎

Now, since you're NOT alone, SEEK HELP. The most common reason WHY people 'in distress' DON'T seek help is because they are ASHAMED !@#$%?   BUT hey, throw away in the window that skewed mindset.  Moving on, FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.  If ever you're masking your FEELINGS, they WON'T go away.  Instead, FEELINGS will become like TRAPPED energy and may even have negative implications to your health❎❎❎

Once you start FEELING and SHARING your FEELINGS, you may also be able to see your situation in a new list, without biases.  And it's NOT far fetched to think that that could lead you to come up with novel solutions and overcome the CHALLENGES at hand.  Taking a step farther, DO ACCEPT SUPPORT.  Asking for HELP is only one side of the coin and the other side means you have to be open and willing to ACCEPT SUPPORT because that will lead you to ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE✅✅✅

Defying The Norm

Defying The Norm

Over and over again, we hear BEST PRACTICES.  And I admit I've been spewing those two words over and over again through the years.  So, yes, BEST PRACTICES may be widespread BUT that does NOT mean that all those are effective all the time.  In quite many instances, in fact, the opposite is true.  BEST PRACTICES can be outdated OR even harmful OR worst, a hindrance to innovation.  And these BEST PRACTICES are all too common in organizations and NOT to a fault, managers [and that includes ME till today].  So we be DEFYING THE NORM📗📙📘

Thing is, just because they worked in the past, OR have been adopted with SUCCESS by some organizations, their very purpose OR effectiveness is rarely questioned, if at all.  As a consequence, these PRACTICES eventually spread and persist.  So, the big challenge staring at our faces now is to identify those practices because UNLESS we have correctly identified them, there's nowhere else for us to proceed as well.  And the much bigger challenge lurking at the background is for us NOT just to be DEFYING THE NORM but proving things right💴💷💵

Years back, I did DEFY THE NORM [without really breaking the law].  I did observe that for those interested to explore overseas job opportunities, they went to job/recruitment agencies and from thereon, one becomes the 'hostage' of both the job/recruitment agency and even the government agencies until/IF ever a breakthrough happens.  So HOW did I DEFY THE NORM?  I directly applied with foreign organizations, wooed them to schedule me for face-to-face interviews.  The rest is history💎💎💎

Which brings me to the two-word phrase SEEK DISCOMFORT.  Let's figure it out how can this phrase will help us build a habit of continuous growth?  And closely linked to SEEK DISCOMFORT are the challenging words WILLPOWER and TENACITY.  Studies show that when a person chooses to perform tasks they would rather NOT do in a given moment, effectively they SEEK DISCOMFORT✅✅✅

Studies have proven that once we manifest to SEEK DISCOMFORT, our brain leads us to express TENACITY and WILLPOWER.  In fact, studies show that SEEKING DISCOMFORT is a sign of progress and actually seeking it can boost our MOTIVATION.  And even moderate DISCOMFORT is already a signal that we're developing as a person and those signages can surface even before we will notice concrete progress of our self-growth.  Our takeaway for today is that DEFYING THE NORM may lead us to our self-growth which will remain a pipe dream if we refuse to be DEFYING THE NORM❗❗❗