Growth Isn't Always Linear

Growth Isn't Always Linear

What is GROWTH?  Oh c'mon, you might shrug this off as a boring topic, like those Economics subjects we had in the university. BUT hey, GROWTH is as relevant for us to discuss as your name because majority of us [that included me in the past] firmly believed that to really grow, it has to be exponentially going up up and away BUT Growth Isn't Always Linear especially in life.  WHEN we're sometimes stuck in the mud [coming from Point A to Point B], that could really be GROWTH because you did progress and move from Point A to Point B.  Let's even take a worst case scenario where before you were a Dentist in your native third world country [and there's NOTHING wrong about that] and when you became a U.S. immigrant, your job role is that of a dental assistant.  BTW, I'm referring to my classmate since our elementary years.  Today, he runs a burgeoning dental clinic near Beverly Hills in California💎💎💎

Indeed, it is easy to think of personal GROWTH as a series of LINEAR decisions, a process of taking one clear-cut step after the other, in a predictable and sensible way.  We have seen working professionals who left their current employer 'FOR GREENER PASTURES' only to knock on his/her former employer's doors a few years later seeking to rejoin the organization he/she left.  Unfortunately, the statement "TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK" is usually a negative term to describe someone who is having trouble making progress💵💷💶

Thing is, there is a GROWTH PROCESS all of us need to go through.  And I'd like to think of it as a forward motion and a primary ingredient in our SAUCE OF LIFE.  Forward motion propelling our bodies and minds to grow steadily toward the future we desire and dream of.  In brief, it means PROGRESS and not PERFECTION.  It means that instead of grumbling or feeling guilty about a misstep, you can still come out ahead by putting your head down and push forward.  John Quincy Adams, the 6th President of the United States was widely quoted: "PATIENCE AND PERSEVERANCE HAVE A MAGICAL EFFECT BEFORE WHICH DIFFICULTIES DISAPPEAR AND OBSTACLES VANISH"📗📙📘

When we combine a positive future outlook with the obstacles of reality and the challenges these obstacles present, we become able to be more selective in our pursuit of our goals and eventually become more confident in our GROWTH.  Those PEAKS and VALLEYS and LEAPS and STUMBLES become less daunting💎💎💎

"TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK" becomes a way to measure the non-LINEAR nature of our GROWTH.  A forward motion we all experience and one I would aggressively 'HARD SELL' to each of you my readers to consider embracing this mindset because for all we know, it could become a game-changer, something that will tilt the final outcome of our journey either way, all because GROWTH ISN'T ALWAYS LINEAR✅✅✅

As Long As The Story Goes, There Goes The Smoke

As Long As The Story Goes, There Goes The Smoke

Imagine your partner/spouse suddenly stops responding to your SMS and text messages or worse, returning your calls.  WHAT if they 'GHOST' you without giving you any explanation or even a heads-up if something was either 'brewing' or simply 'NOT OK'?  As Long As The Story Goes, There Goes The Smoke📙📗📘

 

As cruel as it seems, you end up with having NO choice but to accept that they DON'T want to be in a relationship with you anymore.  BUT hey, is that fair?  That's grossly UNFAIR!  It's true in an ideal scenario, your partner/spouse would have given you CLOSURE.  BUT let's face it, in real life, that just does NOT always happen in real life💎💎💎

True, some relationships end so abruptly, leaving hapless and helpless people stuck and struggling to move on from the breakup of NOT getting a decent CLOSURE.  BUT c'mon, let's align, what is CLOSURE?  More importantly, why is CLOSURE important after a breakup?  HOW to ask for a CLOSURE in a relationship and WHAT IF your ex refuses to give it to you?   As cruel as it seems, Arie Krugalankski came up with that CLOSURE jargon more than three decades ago.  He referred to a need by an individual to find a firm answer so that they DON'T have to live with ambiguity💵💶💴

The bigger question bogging some of us is:  IS CLOSURE NECESSARY WHEN RELATIONSHIP ENDS?  Indeed, getting CLOSURE is really important when a relationship ends.  Because when your partner decides to end the relationship without giving you the appropriate CLOSURE, they rob you of your RIGHT TO KNOW the reason WHY they did it💎💎💎

Now let's brace for the scenario where you won't get CLOSURE.  Primero, accept that you WON'T get that and while CLOSURE is essential, understand that no amount of apology will make them come back.  So, it's just a good idea to STOP blaming yourself.  LET GO of self-pity and start taking care of yourself.  And DISTANCE yourself from anything that will remind you of your EX✅✅✅

How Often You're HEMING And HAWING?

How Often You're HEMING And HAWING?

Just to ensure we're all on the same page, HEMING And HAWING is meant here for those moments of HESITATION we have had.  So, the question I'll throw back to you is How Often You're HEMING And HAWING?  If you would admit that you're HEMING And HAWING for roughly 20% or more of those moments when you need to decide, then we got an issue here💎💎💎

So, you might throw back the question to me.  What triggers us to be HEMING And HAWING?  Oh oh oh, there are numerous exceptions where we are HEMING And HAWING, sometimes with valid and legitimate reasons that's causing us to HOLD BACK whereas, let's admit it, there are times when we're HEMING And HAWING simply because we're dragging our feet [for reasons more often no one else is aware as to why we're dragging things].  The unfortunate instances when we seem to be unconsciously HEMING And HAWING, that needs to be rectified ASAP💴💶💵

On the other hand, HEMING And HAWING really makes sense as part of your decision-making process [and that process CAN'T just be short-circuited].  BUT the wild card in these equations is the ELEMENT OF TIME.  You can't just be twiddling your thumbs as a mannerism if there are consequences and implications if your formulated DECISION happens way beyond a critical timeline.  In brief, this takes a bit of a BALANCING ACT📙📗📘

I remember many times in the past, I had to arrive at decisions that were either game-changers or life-changing.  And on those notes, I kept reminding myself that I just CAN'T HEMING And HAWING simply because I was running through things based on timelines that were NOT totally within my control.  At hindsight, what could have happened if I kept HEMING And HAWING❓❓❓

Frankly, many who ended up HEMING And HAWING several times in the past did not commit it in bad faith but they just [wrongly] thought that they had all the time in world.  Not to scare the guilty parties but very likely, for those who kept HEMING And HAWING, you had to endure the implications of LOST OPPORTUNITIES, whether it's in school, at the job market, at your business industry or even at your favorite home store [like IKEA] if they just went through a major sales campaign earmarking your favorite home furniture with cut-throat discounts.  For brevity, LOST OPPORTUNITIES are to be equated with $$$$$$ because most, if NOT all, translates to it❗❗❗

When A Problem Is NOT A Problem

When A Problem Is NOT A Problem

Let's face it.  Problems that we DON'T deal with will ultimately wear us down in the end.  Do we remember instances in the past when we realized that a problem at hand is NOT really our very own problem?  That's When A Problem Is NOT A Problem.  At the height of your emotions, you might even bang your head on the wall When A Problem Is NOT A Problem💎💎💎

Heard about PROBLEM STATEMENTS?  Why do we need to craft that?  Simple.  Because PROBLEMS need to be defined in concrete terms.  Let's think about it.  Identifying a PROBLEM  is more important than the solution.  And sometimes, the PROBLEM definition may be nothing more than the art of asking the right questions at the right time💵💴💶

And quite often, what we fail to realize when we did not clearly crystallize the 'PROBLEM' at hand, we would fail to realize that what we have are ISSUES and NOT PROBLEMS.  It happens quite frequently.  We built that momentum for an ongoing project.  Then we get excited to embrace new challenges and we've visualized how that END OF THE ROAD looks like.  Then all of a sudden, you HIT A WALL📘📙📗

It's true, major hurdles are disheartening and they're that unavoidable.  BUT the way we engage with and think about the issue at hand will likely affect your approach and ability to address that issue.  The frustrating part in a debacle like this is when you thought you got a PROBLEM at hand✅✅✅

In a nutshell, NOT ALL PROBLEMS ARE PROBLEMS.  There are numerous cases when what we have at hand is a difficult situation we need to face and the only option is to face, co-exist and manage the situation but really NOT resolving a situation if by itself it is NOT a problem.  This scenario could happen to couples who recently settled down and upon settling down, either spouse/partner realized that he/she CANNOT accept the kind of character or behavior or even values of his/her new spouse/partner.  Where you can live with it, then that becomes the closure of the issue at hand.  Bottomline, validate When A Problem Is NOT A Problem❗❗❗

When There's Too Much Smoke

When There's Too Much Smoke

The most overused expression is:  WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S FIRE.  Fine.  BUT When There's Too Much Smoke, what could it mean?  Simple.  It is quite safe to conclude that there's TOO MUCH FIRE causing When There's Too Much Smoke.  When we swing over to our life, it is akin to painting a scenario where one is getting overwhelmed with problems piling up💎💎💎

Exception is the Vatican's Sistine Chapel because when a White Smoke billows out from its chimney, that's when Catholics jump and rejoice because it is a confirmation that a new Pope has been elected by the College of Cardinals.  So, that's the only exception.  Else, everywhere else, SMOKE is one of the most common tell-tale signs that things are NOT that good in a particular situation💵💶💴

The major hullaballo happens when the smoke spreading out are NOT just billows of smoke but quite a volume.  In life, When There's Too Much Smoke, it could either mean one is in the middle of a life-changing situation or things are developing that it may even become a GAME CHANGER, which means, either things will get better OR things will simply turn south and get worse📗📙📘

If it's a vehicle with heavy smoke, grab your fire extinguisher because as in life, you will be in DAMAGE CONTROL mode by then.  While you are fighting the fire, your objective becomes more modest as you will attempt to contain or limit the damage, the havoc that will be wrought by that heavy smoke.  That's When There's Too Much Smoke pushes you to the edge in life❗❗❗

Thing is, even When There's Too Much Smoke you just DON'T give up because there remains a glimmer of hope that you can still turn around things.  BUT the lesson in life here is that, similar to building facilities, you got to have a SMOKE DETECTOR embedded deeply within you such that at the first instance of the smoke, you get alerted,  For you to make your move when you're almost suffocating with the heavy smoke, whatever you can do might be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE❎❎❎

When We End Up Pathetic & Pitiful

When We End Up Pathetic & Pitiful

When We End Up Pathetic & Pitiful?  No sirrrrs, we're NOT here to discriminate failures.  We DON'T castigate and flag down those who TRIED but FAILED.  WHY?  Because they plotted things out and they endeavored and attempted to achieve their goal albeit they failed📌📌📌

Instead, we'd like to zero-in to that pathetic and pitiful plight when we have so many ideas, so much plans, with visions that will envy us no less BUT yet nothing progresses or worst, nothing gets kickstarted after all the verbals and noises [BUT nothing much transpires except visions and dreams that tend to dissipate in thin air.  Heard of some people with the coolest things in mind?  Wading by the canals in Venice.  Trekking Mount Everest.  Taking up post-graduate studies to enhance his academic credentials.  And just a lot more💊💊💊

So, the final question is:  WHY HAVEN'T YOU?  If we deeply desire to turn that long-held dream into a reality, let's grapple down with the fundamentals in life.  Primero, DEFINE YOUR GOAL CLEARLY.  Nothing vague.  Nothing nebulous like the clouds.  Otherwise, even if things progress, you might end up with some FUZZY results💎💎💎
  

As there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL, there are two vantages to mentally craft a plan.  Either stand at the bottom and look up [which should be quite scary if look up the densely shrouded fogs of Mt Everest] OR stand at the top of the mountain and look back down, and ask the question, WHAT STEPS DID I TAKE TO GET HERE❓❓❓

Looking back down the mountain from the summit gives you the GOAL CLARITY you need.  And this is where misses happen.  When the goals may have been visualized but it falls short from being CRYSTAL CLEAR, ending up with a shortfall is not far fetched.  And once you embark on your journey towards that goal, believe in your goal[s] PASSIONATELY.  You need to fervently believe in it because that will lead you to pursue your goal[s] aggressively. That is when you will NOT end up PATHETIC and PITIFUL❎❎❎

That Low Shelf Of Convenience

That Low Shelf Of Convenience

That Low Shelf Of Convenience has become the perrenial apple that tempted Adam & Eve to 'commit' that 'SIN'.  Today in our twenty first century, there is no doubt that many reasons can cause people to cross the line.  I admit I am guilty of it [many many times in the past and still, sometimes till now although it is more limited to 'cutting corners' when there is such an immovable traffic gridlock where I get stuck for hours.  Indeed, SURVIVAL in tough times are one of the most common TRIGGERS to CUT CORNERS but so is the drive to satisfy more selfish interests💴💵💶

And more often, there are NOT really serious selfish interests triggering us to that but simply the lingering temptation for That Low Shelf Of Convenience.  Early on, the real question to address is, are there VALID REASONS for us to fall prey to That Low Shelf Of Convenience [over and over again]?  Allow me to pre-empt your responses.  Generally, there are NO pressing reasons to justify us to fall prey to That Low Shelf Of Convenience📗📙📘

Consistency [or the lack thereof] is another factor that contributes to some spirited debate with regard That Low Shelf Of Convenience.  We won't delve into the CUTTING CORNERS of businesses and companies as that's way beyond our purview.  Instead, we'd like to encourage us ourselves, as individuals, because what does this tell us about the RIGHT or WRONG of CUTTING CORNERS❓❓❓

Playing devil's advocate, I'm asking myself now:  IS IT NEVER OK TO CUT A BIG CORNER BUT A LITTLE ONE?  From a process perspective, CUTTING CORNERS is totally different from streamlining a process [although some may NOT see the difference] with That Low Shelf Of Convenience❗❗❗

Back to our daily lives, when should we NOT be tempted to That Low Shelf Of Convenience?  WHEN resolving a tough problem.  WHEN formulating a decision.  WHEN faced with a life-changing situation.  WHEN you will be at risk from a law/regulations compliance.  So, please DON'T get tempted by That Low Shelf Of Convenience❌❌❌

Do We Really LISTEN Enough?

Do We Really LISTEN Enough?

Do We Really LISTEN Enough?  Problem is that we, in general, do NOT know how to listen.  We do have ears that listen very well but seldom have we acquired the necessary aural skills which would allow our ears to be used effectively for LISTENING.  Extensive tests were also initiated by experts for testing the ability of people to understand and remember what they hear.  Those tests led experts to conclude that when the average person listens to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what he heard📘📙📗

Oh Oh, those studies pushed my curiosity farther.  So I surmised, WHAT HAPPENS AS TIME PASSES?  Studies show that two months after listening to a talk, the average listener will remember only about 25% of what was said.  Apparently, we tend to forget from one-half to one-third of it within hours. Indeed, this is startling to realize that frequently, we forget more in the first short interval💵💴💶

I can attest, as a first-hand account, I have interacted countless times with 'ME' people, those folks who would tirelessly talk about HIM, HIM HIM.  And when I'd interject a bit about me, immediately, he quipped YES and then he resumes his ME ME ME narratives.  Lesson here is that many of us would rather TALK than LISTEN.  While per se there's nothing wrong about it, a chronic practice just leads to an unhealthy one-way communications

Let's walk back down memory lane when we were all in school.  What's the top favorite one-liner of our teachers?  PAY ATTENTION!  LISTEN!  Certainly, our teachers then feel the need for good LISTENING.  Yet, why is it our education systems [whether it's in First World or Third World countries] fail to develop and harness our learning more to LISTEN❓❓❓

I'm wildly assuming though that probably, our educators, our systems assumed that the LISTENING ability depends largely on intelligence, that 'BRIGHT' people LISTEN well and that the 'DULL' ones poorly.  C'mon, when can we realize that the most effective way for LEARNING is to WATCH & LISTEN✅✅✅

When Wealth Gets In The Way Of Wisdom

When Wealth Gets In The Way Of Wisdom

Before I get hit with brickbats, allow me to categorically state that I am neither Pro-POOR nor Anti-RICH.  Admittedly, if I receive a million bucks right now, I'll walk off and just lead a placid life by the beach and mountains.  BUT that's day-dreaming though.  Instead, we'd like to spend a bit of time When Wealth Gets In The Way Of Wisdom because that throws a monkey wrench in our life💵💶💴

Now, let's admit it, much as we're awash with knowledge, do we think that our general level of understanding is greater?  OR that we're wiser?  Now, I am NO voracious reader but the Book of Proverbs left a bit of an imprint in me because it was top-heavy when it comes to 'financial wisdom'.  References to financials would zero-in on money, riches, wealth, prosperity, poverty and even fulfillment beyond the material things✅✅✅

And while it's quite challenging to sum up what I could have absorbed, it boils down simply to a hypothesis that RIGHT ACTIONS that are pledged to lead to prosperity and WRONG ACTIONS that lead to poverty.  But before we get embroiled with proverbs, let's align that proverbs generally read like PROMISES, but in its interpretations, they are probabilities📗📙📘

Of course, let's admit there are those who have prospered despite what many would consider as LAZINESS and those who are seen as hard workers who have struggled to amass wealth.  What I did bear witness though is that those who cling tightly to their material possessions may often find them slipping through their fingers at some point while those who open their hands freely to give may often find themselves to receiving more✅✅✅

Looking back, I've seen a super-rich ancestor whose net worth was in the hundreds of millions.  Fast forward three to five decades, each of the heirs had net worth's ranging from 1 to 5 million.  WHAT HAPPENED?  In many cases, this can be best explained by the fact WHEN WEALTH GOT IN THE WAY OF WISDOM.  The heirs were so awash with wealth such that the need to enhance their WISDOM was relegated at the backburners.  Oh Oh, we DON'T want that to happen to us, right, dude❓❓❓

We Learn MORE From Defeat Than From Victory

We Learn MORE From Defeat Than From Victory

We Learn MORE From Defeat Than From Victory but is everyone on the same boat on this?  I doubt it.  Few ever truly appreciate their good health UNTIL they become sick.  If we never faced torrential rains and storms, would we truly value those sunny days [considering that when it's sunny, we would complain with that blistering heat of the scorching sun.  We have never recognized too a successful woman whose SUCCESS was NOT dependent on FAILURE of some kind📗📙📘

Let's admit it, the majority of people WHO have earned SUCCESS will share with you that just when they had finally attained a level in their life in which they had committed to, circumstances put them back at ground zero [and NOT just once but quite a few times].  Those individuals with that dogged persistence do obtain the REWARDS💎💎💎

Successful people are those whose purpose and mission is so compelling that they work hour after hour to accomplish their vision and they are NOT working on their vision, they are thinking about it.  So, when it comes to SUCCESS, whats makes us delighted is really beside the point.  It is all about the HIGHER PURPOSE and persistence before FAILURE creeps in.  And once we see a fissure in that HIGHER PURPOSE and perseverance we believe in, we tend to become fearful.  As a result, we take it upon ourselves to correct it💊💊💊

Let's swing over to those stones out in the waters.  True there is a risk each time you step forward to the next stone.  Risks are there because those stones can be slippery BUT the practical advice is DON'T LOOK far ahead.  The reason many of us end up stumbling early in our 'journey' is because we're looking way out there✅✅✅

Swinging over to my life, I have to openly admit that many times I FAILED. BUT, with all humility, I can openly share the fact that I have a fair share of SUCCESS stories and until today, I firmly believe I would have not achieved those MILESTONE SUCCESSES where it NOT for the FALLS and FAILURES I had to endure along the way.  Tough life behind me but I admit I savored well enough my SUCCESSES❗❗❗