When Things Are Not 'LINEAR'

When Things Are Not 'LINEAR'

We all want simple, straightforward things in life.  Moreso for our own life, we want it to be straight up but unfortunately, that is NOT the reality because most things are NOT 'linear'.  And When Things Are Not 'LINEAR', things can ZIG and ZAG and sometimes, it turtles up and around, many times ending off-tracked.  So, this runs counter to what we have been taught all along that is that fairly simple to navigate💎💎💎

One realization which I did embrace of late is that a lot hf 'HARD DECISIONS' we eventually need to make are catalyzed by life events and transitions.  Let's rattle off some samplings.  When do people secure a private life insurance for the first time?  Likely, either after buying their first home, probably after having their first child, or likely after their second, and 'almost surely' after someone close passes away.  Sad grief, in fact📌📌📌

When do people pay off residual, revolving credit card debt?  Maybe after getting embarrassed that they had to tell their new spouse/partner about it.  Around the early 1900s, a plethora of new time periods became popular:  adolescence, midlife, retirement, amongst others. Then, we came across the coined term 'MIDLIFE CRISIS'⏳⏳⏳

Indeed, a hallmark of our time is that life is NOT predictable.  It does NOT unfold in passages, stages, phases or cycles.  In fact, it is NOT LINEAR. So, it seems, the only thing that is predictable in life is its UNPREDICTABILITY itself.  So, it seems the 'unifying' theme in our life is actually centered on the SURPRISES that require course corrections✅✅✅

And in life, the more we fight those changes, the more challenges and pain we tend to endure.  But hey, life is more manageable, more forgiving of missteps and more open to personalization AS LONG AS you know how to navigate those untold numbers of TWISTS and TURNS.  Our lesson for today?  Never be so confident [or cocky?] that life is that LINEAR because it is NOT❗❗❗

What's Giveth, Taketh

What's Giveth, Taketh

While in life we kept claiming that NOTHING is free in life, that there's NOTHING like a free lunch because they are NOT even free after all.  Yet, from time to time, there's 'manna from heaven' that gets dropped from heaven or from a good samaritan OR probably, simply due to a streak of luck, an opportunity pops-up and its voila.  But when that happens, not everyone subscribes that What's Giveth, Taketh💎💎💎

When life knocks us down, do we bounce back fast enough or do we get drowned in our emotions, till we give up?  BUT hey, if you're struggling with coping with life's blows, you're NOT alone.  Been there, done that.  Everyone encounters challenging times in our lives.  And I guess it is a non-issue that we never know what life will throw on us come next day.  Life is such one of a hell of a big roller-coaster ride of UPs and DOWNs.  There will be times when you feel like you're ON TOP OF THE WORLD while other times, you may feel like you're hitting ROCK BOTTOM⏳⏳⏳

Indeed, playing with the unknown makes our journey through life equally exciting and terrifying.  In case you have been clinging to dear life with the belief that life is supposed to be linear, you're in for a rude awakening because that's NOT the case, truth be told, much as this is a hard pill to swallow📌📌📌

When bad things happen, it's natural to feel down.  You may even fall into the trap of assuming that things will NEVER get better.  Unfortunately for that kind of mindset, this is the very mindset that keeps so many people stuck in one place and drowning in 'victimhood'.  This wild ride that we call in life is actually an endless string of HIGH and LOWS, SUCCESSES and FAILURES, SETBACKS and COMEBACKS❗❗❗

Now, I had my fair share of bouncing back in my personal journey.  In the past, at some points, I was like rudderless, with no direction.  At several times, I was out of job [and you guess it right, in dire financial straits].  So, how did I bounce back from the rubble?  In many ways, those adversities made me beef up my personal arsenal of strengths.  I even flipped over some of my debacles to patch and reinforce my arsenal and I did constantly remind myself not to have opportunities slip through.  WHAT'S GIVETH, TAKETH✅✅✅

Making The 'RIGHT READS'

Making The 'RIGHT READS'

No sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do as a campaign to encourage reading.  This is all about the way we run our daily life, Making The 'RIGHT READS'.  This is just inevitable and something you can skip or avoid because as things or events start to progress, you can never guarantee the exact trajectory until its very outcome comes into fruition📌📌📌

Instead, our thread today is all about Making The 'RIGHT READS', which in concrete terms are as follows:

• CLEARLY UNDERSTANDING what is happening
• INCISIVELY ASSESSING the impact of what is happening
• CRAFTING your action plan arising from your assessment
• EXECUTING your action plan to the letter, to a 'T'
• QUALITY-CHECKING yourself every step of the way
• LOOP BACK to Step 1 if at this point you're 'off track'

Making The 'RIGHT READS' includes being crystal clear of yourself.  WHERE should we go for lunch?  WHAT's the plan for tonight?  WILL you be driving?  Questions like these are the bane of our existence.  They may sound so simple but for INDECISIVE people, making even small, minor and petty decisions can be tantamount to a major struggle.  WHAT IF the lunch venue I pick does not offer the dish I want?  WHAT IF the bar we hang out ends up boring?  WHAT IF we drive and we get into a road accident❓❓❓

For obvious reasons, it is normal if some of us do struggle in making those 'BIG' decisions, especially those life-changing ones.  In which case, prior to making that 'BIG' decisions, run through scenarios with all 'WHAT IF' scenarios factored in.  As my personal sharing, how do I run this in my life?  First, I spend CONSIDERABLY much less time [and nerve-wracking energy] worrying about making the right decision.  Instead, I would funnel more of my time [and useful energy] to ensure that decisions I make will turn out right ✅✅✅

In fact, in Making The 'RIGHT READS', I have realized that in decision-making, there is NO right or wrong per se.  Our lives are NOT movies.  Choosing between two options does NOT magically result in two parallel universes at all where on one side, we're happy and on the other side, we're miserable because our lives will adjust to whatever path we take.  It all boils down to Making The 'RIGHT READS' ❗❗❗

Keep Your Head On A Swivel

Keep Your Head On A Swivel

Keep Your Head On A Swivel, really?  You might be dumbfounded if this makes sense at all?  Meaning, our head has to have that 360-degree agility and flexibility?  Yesirrrrrrrs.  We need NOT redefine our anatomy but functionally that exactly is what is expected from us, day in, day out.  Often times, something happens behind our back and sometimes, worse things happen when we're NOT facing up on things.  But to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is NOT a huge ASK, if I may say so⏳⏳⏳

In real life, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is most often heard [and preached] in military organizations because as part of their training, they are constantly coached to be Xtra vigilant as they CAN'T afford an enemy or foe sneaking right from behind one's back.  But since we're not in the military service, you might ask, do we really need to Keep Your Head On A Swivel❓❓❓

In the competitive world of sports, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel means to be aware as to where the ballis and where the players are on the playing court or field.  To put things in context, a swivel is a physical connection that allows the connected object [such as a chair] to rotate either horizontally or vertically.  Back into our lives, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel means to be as proactive and as pre-emptive as possible💎💎💎

When I'm seated behind the steering wheels, this is exactly my very rigid mantra Keep Your Head On A Swivel every second, every minute.  Without unduly stretching myself out, I developed that habit of focused driving and with my line of sight reaching as far ahead as possible with the clear intent to take a pre-emptive move in case of wayward mishaps that may imminently happen down the road [even meters ahead]✅✅✅

In brief, to Keep Your Head On A Swivel is a very good practice to get embedded as part of our self-discipline that comes out from our habit formation.  Now, we can play devil's advocate.  WHAT IF I refuse to heed this advice to Keep Your Head On A Swivel?  What are the implications, if any?  Not to scare you but what that means, during miscues or mishaps in life, you may NOT be a step behind but you would realize a particular emergency right on the very minute it is occurring right in your face.  That leaves you HIGH and DRY📌📌📌

What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

What's Your SECRET SAUCE?

Nope sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with Culinary Arts.  Instead, we're curious What's Your SECRET SAUCE in life.  Surely, regardless of the magnitude and volume of successes you may have achieved in life, you would [or SHOULD rather] know Your SECRET SAUCE.  That's your forte, your top strengths, your ace amongst your deck of cards💎💎💎

I did bump across some folks who had their various successes in life and when I prompted them for their SECRET SAUCE, they seemed so utterly innocent [and I do believe them] when they swore that they DON'T have the slightest clue as regards their SECRET SAUCE, if any.  I would then enlighten them that they do have💊💊💊

You might challenge me, do we really need to know what our SECRET SAUCE is, in life?  YES and YES, that's my loud answer.  WHY?  If you are totally unaware of your strongest cards in your deck, HOW can you leverage on your strengths then?  HOW can you piggy-back on your strengths and build up for your next challenging forays❓❓❓

On the other hand, you can play devil's advocate and argue that to spill out your SECRET SAUCE, you might be unduly exposing and compromising yourself to the world out there?  No sirrrrs, you DON'T wash off your linen in public, you DON'T need to spew out from A to Z every single strength you have, you DON'T compromise your next steps by screaming it out✅✅✅

Now, it should be fair enough to argue we ought to know our SECRET SAUCE because we could have not gone and reached this far, not without that SECRET SAUCE we have up in our sleeves.  WHY did I manage to have my run of successes?  WHY did Lady Luck seem to be with me in my forays?  WHY did I successfully weather those turmoils that hit me hard at various points in my past?  Allow me to credit all those to my SECRET SAUCE❗❗❗

When Your WHEELS START TURNING

When Your WHEELS START TURNING

Do we need our WHEELS for LIFE?  Absolutely YES.  Go over the long roads and highways to trek in our life.  How far can your life go and reach without having your WHEELS TURNING?  Figuratively speaking, your WHEELS IN LIFE are your own catalyst from within that will the motivate you to start and ignite the engine before you start stepping on the gas.  There are many real-life analogies wherein our parents, our mentors, our spouse/partners and all those who care for us would trigger us to position ourselves for our WHEELS to START TURNING💎💎💎

For most of us, the most common [and I'd say UNPOPULAR] problem that comes up early on is setting [in a NO NONSENSE approach] one's goals.  Admittedly, setting up our goals is already a BIG first step forward improving our life.  BUT for today's thread, we WON'T spend time on that dilemma of setting up goals.  Instead, we're assuming that one has set up the goal[s] and what preoccupies us now is really to have those WHEELS to START TURNING📌📌📌

But let's admit that following through to achieve what we've set out to accomplish can, at times, be daunting and challenging [especially during those days WHEN MOTIVATION WANES.  So how do we follow through those commitments when we DON'T feel putting up work❓❓❓

Admittedly, we all lose our MOTIVATION [from time to time].  So what's our FIXes? First off, please CALENDAR your goals.  You DON'T need Microsoft Office Tools for that.  Done that?  Start attempting to have those WHEELS START TURNING.  Make working toward your goal a habit.  Remember though that HABIT FORMATION is another small hill to climb, but let's reserve that thread for another day to tackle❗❗❗

Now, before we get into the freeways, set SMALL GOALS to build momentum.  In the F1 race, they are those PIT STOPS.  And as your WHEELS START TURNING, do track your progress.  You CAN'T go on a snail's pace.  And as you start to achieve those 'SMALL GAINS', do pat yourself on your back, then keep grinding till you achieve a solid milestone. Meanwhile, keep ensuring that your WHEELS KEEP TURNING✅✅✅

Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT?

Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT?

No sirrrrs, our thread today has got nothing to do with Math or Statistics at all. Instead, we'd like to spend time to ponder and ask  Where Was Your INFLECTION POINT, if at all, in your life.  There is an absolute certainty that in case you are unaware, indeed you have went through your INFLECTION POINT, that turning point that precipitated your direction, whether you are north-bound or skidding down south to your frustration.  Note that in our life journey, it is and will NEVER be a straight line💎💎💎

Reality is, our life is like a huge expanse of land peppered with land mines, those are our imminent inflection points, and it could swing from the best positive to the worst nightmare we can have in life.  Could be one hitting the grand LOTTO prize. Could be a young member of the family dying very prematurely.  Could be you at that workplace and come next day, your boss confidentially talks to you and you are one of the casualties of downsizing💊💊💊

Could be one who inherited a major property from his parents.  Could be a student who got the breakthroughs in his life when he was offered academic scholarship in a prestigious university.  Could be one losing his money in the world of cryptocurrency📌📌📌

In a nutshell. INFLECTION POINTS pop-up into our lives way outside and beyond our control and it covers the whole spectrum from the most positive INFLECTION POINT to the worst ever INFLECTION POINT.  Either way, surely, your life would have been impacted but that's beside the point.  What we are tasked is how to manage and contain negative INFLECTION POINTS and sustaining the gains of positive INFLECTION POINTS✅✅✅

The wasted opportunities are those times in our life when we reached through a specific positive INFLECTION POINT but for whatever reason, we seem to have wasted that opportunity by NOT leveraging on it.  Even the worst INFLECTION POINTS do offer us the opportunities to bounce back and rebound in life.    Missing such is really a huge waste because if you're down, you could end up in a much deeper morass.  So, either way, got to know your INFLECTION POINTS❗❗❗

Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One

Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One

Allow me to quote Paulo Coelho, the famous Brazilian Lyricist who became more popular with his international bestsellers wherein he was quoted Be Warned Playing VICTIM, You May Be Treated As One.  Due to the sensitivity of our thread today, allow me to clear up, up front that there is a huge difference between being a victim versus someone playing victim.  Being a victim of abuse, trauma, or other circumstances is totally different from PLAYING VICTIM, which we'll spend a bit of time for today's thread💎💎💎

PLAYING VICTIM involves some level of exaggeration or fabrication [and sometimes, manipulation].  Simply put, being a VICTIM means that you are actually in a situation where you are legitimately victimized or in the context of our thread today, are are a VICTIM of abuse or other circumstances.  However, being a VICTIM turns into playing the VICTIM when your VICTIM role is used to avoid responsibility, wallowing in self-pity📌📌📌

So, who plays VICTIM?  Honestly, anyone can. And this includes actual VICTIMS themselves.  But again, it is fine to be a victim especially if you've been legitimately victimized.  In fact, recognizing that you were a VICTIM is very essential for healing.  On the other hand. recognizing that you were a VICTIM is very important for healing.  On the other hand, PLAYING VICTIM is a totally different story that needs to be dissected⏳⏳⏳

But studies show that many abuse victims end up PLAYING VICTIM due to helplessness.  So, it's important to recognize that there are varying degrees and ways how one can play the victim.  And just because someone plays the VICTIM one way DOESN'T mean they'll do it in another.  In simpler terms, just because someone DOESN'T do anything to improve their situation DOESN'T mean they will manipulate others into doing what they want.  We need to be aware that some abuse VICTIMS could have picked up traits from their abusers✅✅✅

So, what are the tell-tale signs of PLAYING VICTIM? The most common sign of PLAYING VICTIM is blaming other people or circumstances for negative feelings or even some events happening in life.  You may end up blaming other people or circumstances for the unhappiness or lack of fulfillment.  OR we may hear blaming something OR someone when something negative happens or things DON'T go as planned.  BE WARNED of PLAYING VICTIM, YOU MAY END UP [being] TREATED AS ONE❗❗❗

At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD

At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD

No sirrrrs, although I am an avid chess fan, our thread today is NOT about Ajedrez, the game of Chess.  We have all felt stuck at some point in our lives.  Perhaps you feel stuck right now.  When that happens, it can feel impossible to keep moving forward towards your goals and plans.  As proven over and over again in any circumstances,  At Times, You Need To STEP BACK To STEP FORWARD💎💎💎

Maybe you're feeling a little stuck working on a project, or even a personal project like a house renovation or a business expansion.  Does this sound familiar to us all?  When that IDEA sprung up many months ago, we felt so 'gung ho' such that we were like monkeys and chimpanzees jumping vertically oozing with all that excitement NOT until when that excitement has simmered down, and now you're feeling stuck and maybe confused at the turn of events⏳⏳⏳

Or you feel 'trapped in a job' when in fact, not so many moonlights ago, you were so excited with your new-found job, which you thought is/was your 'DREAM JOB' but now it seems you're hitting a wall?  Or you could be stuck in a relationship which, not so long ago, you picked up the gauntlet and given up everything just for you to get the nod from your ;DREAM GIRL'.  Indeed, this is a major dilemma that should be fixed ASAP.  HOW?  Try to TAKE A STEP BACK.  Often, we try to get unstuck by pushing forward with sheer force📌📌📌

Try to endeavor accessing a different level of thinking by assessing your current situation from a new viewpoint.  Let's pause and ask ourselves, WHERE DO WE STAND NOW, WHAT GOT US TO THAT POINT, and WHAT IS IT YOU REALLY WANT?  When you try stepping back and look at things from a distance, you would start to see things from a much different perspective✅✅✅

Let's envision ourselves out there, deep in the woods, and seemingly lost.  If we keep moving forward, looking for our way out, we could panic and end up IN CIRCLES.  You could even head back the way you came from.  This is like 'ZOOMING OUT' for you to relook at your situation as a neutral observer .  AT TIMES, YOU NEED TO STEP BACK TO STEP FORWARD❗❗❗

Old Habits Are Hard To Break

Old Habits Are Hard To Break

Heard of any of these:  Starting tomorrow, I will cut down my carbo by 50%.  I'll quit smoking from today.  I will manage my social media time from ten hours to one hour everyday.  I'll stop eating junk foods including burgers and fries.  Guess, what is the average success rate across those  who set those game-changing goals?  The success rate is even below five percent, whew. Indeed, Old Habits Are Hard To Break not because our goals are a charade but simply because we get eaten alive by human frailties💎💎💎

I myself, I was guilty of this many times in the past but at some point, I confronted myself in front the mirror and I gave myself an ultimatum no less.  HOW?  I tried to identify CUES.  Something has to trigger a habit and a CUE can be anything.  Maybe the sound of alarm triggers you to hit the snooze button📌📌📌

Once you have identified the CUES, try disrupting things by throwing the BAD habits off track.  If the alarm CUES you to hit the snooze button, place the alarm clock [or your smart phone] at the other side of the room.  Trekking across the cold floor will likely disrupt that snooze habit.  Now, let's listen to those researches who recommend that we try to replace a BAD habit with a GOOD habit as it's proven to be more effective than stopping that BAD habit alone⏳⏳⏳

Then, KEEP IT SIMPLE as it's usually hard to change a habit because the behavior has become easy and automatic.  The opposite is true too.  New behaviors can be HARD because your brain has NOT taken over that new behavior yet.  Moving on, think LONG-TERM because HABITS often form because they satisfy short-term impulses, just the way chewing on your nails might immediately CALM YOUR NERVES✅✅✅

Lastly, PERSIST and PERSIST.  Various researches have shown that what you've done before is a strong indicator of what you'll do next.  This means established HABITS are HARD TO BREAK.  But here's a silver lining across the gloomy clouds.  If you keep at it, your new behaviors will turn into habits too.  All it takes is dogged determination and PERSISTENCE, and it works.  Yes, this is true:  OLD HABITS ARE HARD TO BREAK❗❗❗