Asal Bapak Senang [AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY]

Asal Bapak Senang [AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY]

Just early this morning, I came across this Bahasa Indonesia expression, "Asal Bapak Senang" which means AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY.  When incumbent Indonesia President Joko Widodo took over the reins from the perennially corrupt previous regimes of Indonesia, "Asal Bapak Senang" was just one battle cry out of a long list as he had to face the steep challenge of combating and arresting the widespread corruption across Indonesia.  And as the incumbent President, he was not one official easy enough to win over via the corrupt ways of the past.  And I think we laymen can pick u a lesson here from Indonesia📙📗📘

BTW, this is not to go on a reverse crusade and peddle the half-truth that we should NOT make the boss happy.  Please DON'T get me wrong.  In fact, we should always be guided with "Asal Bapak Senang"  which means AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY.  Problem is, some of us would tend to appease our boss [or it could be our partner/spouse or our loved ones] NOT for the right reasons📌📌📌

Surely, we have heard tons and tons of CORRUPT practices everywhere.  LIKE illegitimate importers attempting to BRIBE the government customs officers.  LIKE that reckless driver who runs over a pedestrian and attempts to BRIBE the traffic officer.  LIKE those desperate to go to another country, ending up to BRIBE immigration officers [only to get offloaded from the flight manifest when their bogus documents are uncorked]💊💊💊

Diving into our life, where our relationship with our partner/spouse or loved ones matter most, let us NOT embrace this "Asal Bapak Senang"  practice which means AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY if our intentions are less than what 'GOOD FAITH' is all about.  If it's all to appease or provide some relief from an otherwise acrimonious relationship, then let us NOT take that part because you're not scraping the bottom of the barrel with that✅✅✅

The thing is, it's not just making someone HAPPY.  It is all about doing things in GOOD FAITH, with no ulterior or underlying intentions which will only undermine that act itself of making someone HAPPY and aligned with "Asal Bapak Senang"  which means AS LONG AS MY BOSS IS HAPPY.  Bottom line is, even when making someone HAPPY, it has to be done in GOOD FAITH, with the BEST INTENTIONS❗❗❗

Choose Your Battles

Choose Your Battles

Who says we should always be 'battle ready' in life?  No sirrrrrrs.  On the contrary, we should not be bracing for battles at all.  True we got to be ready if something inimical to us arises but that should be far and few in between.  In fact, if you had the room to wiggle, embrace this age-old mantra:  Choose Your Battles.  Otherwise, DON'T court conflicts.  Shy away from potential 'powder kegs' that may just blow out to your detriment💡💡💡

Knowing which battles to fight [and maybe leaving it for another day [which you hope WON'T come]] is important enough to be successful in life itself.  If you find yourself fighting one too many battles, and worse on too many fronts, you may end up feeling drained of either a combination of mental, emotional and/or physical energy.  Worse, both your performance either at your business or at work and coupled with your relationships with your partner/spouse and/or loved ones may inevitably suffer as a result⏳⏳⏳

 Hard to Choose Your Battles but it's NO rocket science though.  Thinking that you have to fight a battle that actually belongs to someone else is a very mistake to make.  Sometimes you can get involved in another person's battle without even meaning to.  Or worse, you might be that kind of person who likes to "STICK UP FOR" your more timid BFF. Endeavor to resist falling into that TRAP at all costs💊💊💊

 Oh, I grabbed this anonymous poster because it speaks volumes.  Let's face it.  In life, we will come across all shades of personalities including the 'petty people'.  But as this poster goes, if your life is BIGGER and BETTER than those petty people, just shy off from the 'petty' ones.  NEVER stoop down to their level because they will [surely] drag you down in a dirty way not deserving of your values and persona.  And if it's someone else's battle, then someone else needs to be fighting it, not you at all💹💹💹

To quote Sun Tzu, the famous Chinese general and philosopher during the Eastern Zhou period in China, "THE WISE WARRIOR AVOIDS THE BATTLE'.  And if you're not stomped with that argument, do take a step back and look at the big picture.  And DON'T forget to ask yourself:  WHAT HAPPENS IF I LOSE THE BATTLE?  Think of the downsides, the risks.  Will you just throw out through the window all your efforts and successes in the past [and get dirtied in the mud]❓❓❓

Still Hoping For People To Change?

Still Hoping For People To Change?

Is this not a common hope?  And in reality, a common frustration?  Still Hoping For People To Change?  And BTW, there is nothing wrong to Still Hope For People To Change but here's the thing.  People are different.  But it's true, sometimes it's hard to just accept people for who they are.  How can we be at peace then with someone, faults and all?  And BTW, a whole lot of other people's behavioral manifestations could be really be so casual and petty📌📌📌

Leaving cabinet or closet doors open.  Sending spam emails.  Turning a deaf ear to dripping water from the faucet.  All these petty things, when we lump them all, it could be one big issue with someone, till the pressure builds up and things get blown right in our faces.  Hmmmm. We DON'T need to look far.  We can start with our loved ones and immediate family, our neighbors, our co-workers and even the drivers of public conveyances.  And it's fine to try to influence others in either skillful or ethical manners.  But problems arise when we lean towards contempt, fault-finding and other forms of struggle💊💊💊

Instead, we could accept them for WHO THEY ARE and for WHAT THEY ARE NOT.  And ACCEPTANCE here means that we will give up to the truth  and the reality itself.  For understandable reasons, we may NOT like it.  It could be grandiose things like, we DON'T want children to get hungry every day or it could be something personal like you're missing your parents who passed away.

But things are what they are and we can accept them while still trying to make them better, if ever that's possible.  ACCEPTANCE grounds us in what is true, which is where we have to start for any lasting effectiveness, happiness or even healing.  ACCEPTING people does NOT itself mean agreeing with them or even liking them.  We can still take on appropriate actions as we're simply accepting the reality of the other person.  We may NOT like it or you may not prefer it or worse, you might even feel sad or angry but try to dig in at a deeper level, you would [likely] realize that you are AT PEACE with it.

But if there's one thing you should NOT give up, it's HOPE.  To reach that point of a clear phase of ACCEPTANCE, try starting with with a simple direct experience like accepting the sensations of breathing.  For a few breaths, try to focus on the sense of of letting the breath be whatever it is.  Thereafter, try accepting something that's difficult to accept but alongside your breathing, try to hold this fact in a context of acceptance, and still clinging For People To Change✅✅✅

When Culture Matters Most [Gong Xi Fa Chai]

When Culture Matters Most [Gong Xi Fa Chai]

Gong Xi Fa Chai.  Happy Chinese New Year to our Chinese communities celebrating CNY.  And given that Chinese New Year is being celebrated now, it behooves that we pause for a while and look into the values of the Chinese Culture which any of us non-Chinese should be able to appreciate from an objective perspective.  And it is just apt to take a sampling of the most common and popular Chinese practices. It does NOT matter whether one is Pro-China [politically] or not, we just cannot ignore the widely encompassing impact of the Chinese culture to our global village.  BTW, there are thirty five [35] Chinatowns across nineteen [19] countries across Asia, I.S. and Europe💎💎💎

I vividly remember the many dinners hosted by my bosses both in Singapore and when I was in Hong Kong for a month.  It was NOT just about the scrumptious dishes whose memories I cherish and relish till now but instead it's the Chinese cultural values.  LIKE the value to sit down together with the family during dinners.  LIKE the 'order of heirarchy' in the seat arrangements [during events and reunions]📌📌📌

LIKE the first to lift a pair of chopsticks is usually the head of the family.  During those Chinese meals hosted by my Chinese-American and Chinese-Canadian CEOs and CFOs, they were considered the 'head of the family'.  LIKE the default 'SEAT of HONOUR' in the table [even in a roundtable, the seat facing the entrance or access to the dining room.  LIKE the best and richest offerings are always placed near the parents or SEAT of HONOUR.  Once all the invited diners have gathered, that 'business of eating' begins.  In very traditional Chinese families, the MOST JUNIOR DINER would 'start the ball rolling' by inviting the 'ELDERS' to partake of the meal.  Statements steeped in tradition like " FATHER, PLEASE EAT.  MOTHER, PLEASE EAT AND OTHER SENIORS"📌📌📌

LIKE once the older diners start helping themselves to the food, the younger ones can relax.  But there still are certain rules of etiquette that must be observed.  LIKE you are supposed to take food from the plate nearest you.  LIKE you must NEVER flip through the food with your chopsticks which is considered rude💊💊💊

LIKE the diners around the Chinese table often pick up choice morsels and it in each other's bowls.  That is an expression of affection as if to say "I CARE".  LIKE a favoured child or head of the family or an honoured guest may get a chicken drumstick, a succulent piece of fish belly or a tender piece of pork.  LIKE when the meal is completed, the pair of chopsticks is always neatly placed by the side of the bowl [and NEVER on top of the bowl or WORST, stuck into the remains of the meal].  As there is NEVER a perfect culture or race, can we pause for a minute and peruse this apples-to-apples comparison of the American and Chinese cultural values.  An eye-opener indeed.  Gong Xi Fa Chai❗❗❗  

Do You Live Under A Rock?

Do You Live Under A Rock?

Do You Live Under A Rock? [not literally though].  Truth is, many of us, at some points in our [misguided [or worse, till the present]] past, we tend to live and exist as if we are underneath the rock, to an extent that we are unaware and oblivious of the things happening around us, even those happening right at our very nose📕📗📘

Unfortunately, some of us tend to still Live Under A Rock.  On a first person account, I have witnessed some who were not only eccentric and odd if not bizarre or downright outlandish.  Typically, if someone lives at another's home, rightfully he/she is expected to be observant and sensitive enough of the day-to-day practices in that home.  Frankly, unless you are a paying tenant, being an external party, the owners and host of that home shouldn't adjust to that 'external' person but instead, it should be the other way around.  Talking about being 'IN SYNC' with everyone else💹💹💹

Instead, I have [surprisingly] witnessed some who had the 'nerves' to live on his/her 'OWN TERMS' instead of having that mutual co-existence with the host/owners.  Having the temerity to be the 'ODD MAN OUT' is very much embraced if everyone else is a villain except you yourself.  Unfortunately, such eccentricity will heavily influence one's behavior [and even character] even at the workplace.   And that raises a 'RED FLAG' if one's behavior and even discipline at the workplace is not consistent anymore with CONFORMANCE and COMPLIANCE💊💊💊

Under normal circumstances, we detest it if someone gets isolated and eventually, existing like an 'outcast' because sometimes, the majority could be mistaken to be playing the 'mob rule' card but how else can people play their cards in a normal way if someone tends to put up that invincible wall between him and the rest?  Unfortunately, there are no UPSIDEs when one Lives Under A Rock

The FIX?  Immerse and assimilate with what prevails out there.  And which I did when I chose to live in Singapore for close to nine years.  Despite its cross-cultural environment, I got to immerse myself and assimilate with what prevails out there because certainly, I didn't want to Live Under A Rock📌📌📌

When You Hear What You Want To Hear

 When You Hear What You Want To Hear

Let's NOT call it CENSORSHIP.  As what is quite popular in today's social media, it is all about FILTERING.  That's When You Hear What You Want To Hear.  But hey, by those terms, you're NOT really listening. Instead, listen to what you DON'T want to hear.  That's how you grow.  Now, instead of getting caught up in a loop of reasoning and counter reasoning, let's figure it out why some [or probably many of us] tend to be leaning to hear only what he/she wants to hear⚓⚓⚓

WHEN we expect the listener to agree to what we say.  WHEN we expect a show of support from them only to find out there are devil's advocates amongst our listeners.  But hey, if one thinks that you just want him to agree, then he WON'T have that incentive to listen, right?  BTW, nobody likes suppressing one's opinions or feeling compelled to agree with someone they think is wrong. Now how do we fix that dilemma?  Try creating a space for conversation.  If it's a conversation with your spouse/partner, explicitly state that you want to hear his/her honest thoughts.  And more importantly, assure that you will LISTEN with no criticism💊💊💊

Problem is, we sometimes have that difficulty to accept the fact that sometimes, you won't share the same opinion or stand.  And since it may not come naturally, always assure your spouse/partner that whatever the differences of opinion, at the end of the day, both of you will still be on the same side, at the same flank📌📌📌

Especially when it's all about feedback, just DON'T expect a chorus in unison akin to the church choirs.  Instead, feedback is a genuine conduit of opinions from either your customers or stakeholders.  And while feedback is NOT guaranteed to be 100% valid as sometimes, subjectivity creeps in, by and large, it is a legitimate channel for you to hear or listen to the 'REAL SCORE' akin to being GMO-free.

Whenever I am asked what is the very #1 thing I liked in Singapore, eyebrows would raise whenever I blurt out that what I miss the most while living in Singapore for close to nine years is that 'CUSTOMER FEEDBACK' Form which every store has atop its counter.  With that 'CUSTOMER FEEDBACK', I owe it to share my genuine and unfiltered feedback, not condoning WHEN THEY WANT TO HEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR📗📗📗

Time To RECHARGE Our Mind, Body & Soul

Time To RECHARGE Our Mind, Body & Soul

Question:  When is the Time To RECHARGE Our Mind, Body & Soul?  As Asians blurt out, NOW LAH, NOW NAH ! While many companies have their unique financial or fiscal years, by and large, the gregorian calendar year still prevails and hovers all over us.  It can't be taken away from our mindsets that towards end-DECEMBER, it is the time to slacken our pace and when JANUARY kicks in, our engine accelerates all over again before we then go full throttle all over again📙📙📙

But before we buckle down with our discourse, can we realign on the same page that towards end-DECEMBER we start feeling that we are drained or simply 'SPENT' sometimes either or a combination of Our Mind, Body & Soul? Who'll argue anyway that by end-DECEMBER, just like our device batteries, when finally their battery strength starts to get drained?  Swinging over to our life, let's note that our own battery is spread across our MIND, our BODY, our SOUL.

Let's face it.  After a long week of wiggling out through the travails in life, it can be hard to be motivated to do anything other than plop down on the couch and just go on a movie binge [hello Netflix].  However, it is essential to take some time for yourself to recharge your mind, body and soul.  Otherwise, you'll just end up feeling more stressed and burnt out📌📌📌

Even Yoga has been one our popular age-old practices to recharge [and they do run those Yoga classes whole year-round].  Now let's GO BACK to BASICS for us To RECHARGE Our Mind, Body & Soul.  Primero, very simple.  GET OUTSIDE.  That is one proven way to relax and recharge your MIND, BODY and SOUL.  Being in nature helps to reduce stress, lower blood pressure levels and even help us feel more connected and at peace.  Nature also provides the perfect setting for reflection and relaxation💊💊💊

Segundo.  EXERCISE.  Please DON'T get me wrong, I am NOT an exercise buff but prior tp the pandemic, every morning, I do brisk walking for AT LEAST 3 kilometers around the condo's olympic-sized pools.  Studies have proven that exercise helps release ENDORPHINS which can then quickly boost your mood and energy levels.  So, please give this your serious consideration.  This end-DECEMBER is the best Time To RECHARGE Our Mind, Body & Soul❗❗❗

Just Quench For Thirst?

Just Quench For Thirst?  

DON'T get me wrong please.  To Quench For Thirst isn't wrong at all.  But quenching for thirst should NOT be the trigger of our self-motivation.  If you feel going to the beach to quench your thirst [for outdoors and beaches], that is just fine.  If you feel going to the shopping mall just to  quench your thirst [for malls], that's just fine.  If you feel gifting your loved ones to quench your thirst [because it is Christmas time], that is fine.  If you feel spending your weekend to do some home-baking to quench your thirst [for baking], then that's fine.  If you wanted to pamper yourself to quench your thirst [as part of your beauty regimen], then that's fine📌📌📌

When is that quench your thirst not appropriate?  In many many scenarios in life, moving the needle simply to quench your thirst just does NOT make sense.  Did you start spending more hours in your studies just to quench your thirst?  Did you start spending more time with your family and loved ones quench your thirst?  Did you start spending more focus at work to quench your thirst?  Do you feel becoming more hands-on in the household chores to quench your thirst [for the sake of the chores]?  Are you spending more time in your own business to quench your thirst from time to time?

To quote famous British novelist Roald Dahl, "IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET ANYWHERE IN LIFE, YOU HAVE TO READ A LOT OF BOOKS".  That said, if you're into books just to quench your thirst, that does NOT even look encouraging because to be a voracious reader, you should be egging yourself to keep reading NOT just to quench your thirst but you got to have that gumption of reading and reading because that feeds into the need for us to keep learning because that is a lifelong process and never a reason to decelerate because we'll lose momentum by then.

Akin to explorers way back the 17th and 18th centuries, finding another island does not whet their appetite to explore and explore.  This black and white poster looks damn boring but it's message is quite top-heavy, "DON'T GO THROUGH LIFE. GROW THROUGH LIFE".  What this means is you just DON'T go through the motions in life.  DON'T just go through the ride.  DON'T just go with the flow.  DON'T just go onbard the bandwagon.  DON'T do things due to PEER PRESSURE.  DON'T pursue things simply because everyone else is into it.  You got to put your heart into it💹💹💹

In concrete words, get to define clearly your goals.  You got to concretize things, thinking and plotting things long-term.  But despite all your ambitious goals, ensure to set milestone targets, because those "SMALL WINS" are the reasons for you to celebrate those "SMALL WINS".  At the end of the day, DON'T just do things just to quench your thirst❗❗❗

Taking The 'HIGH ROAD'

Taking The 'HIGH ROAD'

Can I get your buy-in?  That everyday in our life, can we be consistently Taking The 'HIGH ROAD'?  Obviously, that's a tall order, too much to ask from you because in the first place, that is never realistic.  BTW,  I can't even commit to such an idealistic goal because with our human frailties, from time to time, we do falter especially when our emotions take the bigger part of us.  And when that happens, things just go awry.  Pitiful indeed⏳⏳⏳

Now, before you start berating me for taking a step forward followed with a step backward, no sirrrrrrs, I am NOT taking back my words.  Instead, we'd like to qualify that Taking The 'HIGH ROAD' does NOT need us to climb a steep mountain.  This isn't a pipe dream, BTW💎💎💎

BTW, even animals take the high road too.  So, what excuse for us humans not to go that path by Taking The 'HIGH ROAD'?  When people stoop down so low up to the level of the gutter, WHY STOOP DOWN as well?  If someone screams out expletives, why do you need go for an EYE for an EYE?  When someone goes off-track, breaching ethics and values, why throw out to the window your revered ethics and values💊💊💊

And here's the thing.  Taking The 'LOW ROAD' comes from our weakness in life because sometimes, our reaction is based on emotion.  Embarrassment, hurt and rage.  When it hits you, you'll end up defending, attacking or even screaming in disbelief.  On the other hand, we have a second emotion which leads us to defend ourselves.  Knee jerk reactions instead of thoughtful response and that could lead you weak and frustrated📗📘📙

When you get caught in a quagmire, in that 'deep foxhole' you're struggling to extricate yourself, think about Taking The 'HIGH ROAD'.  In concrete words, instead of ending up vengeful with all the hate and enmity, think about the positivity you can initiate once you have survived that debacle.  Think positively how you can pick up the pieces and restore ORDER in that messy chapter of your life.  NEVER get embroiled in a nip-and-tack impasse.  Instead, continue to embrace that mantra of us Taking The 'HIGH ROAD' regardless if circumstances.  Let's go for it✅✅✅

Snippets from Miss Universe 2023

Snippets from Miss Universe 2023

Surprised ?  Surprised ?  Why suddenly I am swinging over to less serious stuff like the recent Miss Universe 2023 Pageant at New Orleans?  No sirrrrs.  Please DON'T tag stuff related the Miss Universe events as less serious.  Ironically, anyone of us can effortlessly pick up lessons from any Miss Universe events because I myself, right this morning [Saturday evening CST, USA], even passively watching the live streaming, I managed to pick up valuable snippets from the event💚💚💚

First lesson I picked was from a candidate who aggressively proclaimed that 'LET NO ONE DEFINE YOU' [except yourself].  I believe this resonates a zillion times in our life and let us admit it, most [probably 95% at the very least] of parents have the best intentions to prepare a best possible future for their children.  But that's when heard some parents insisting that his child should pursue this 'xxx' career whereas the child was so honest to admit that doesn't feel a GOOD FIT [for good and valid reasons]📌📌📌

And when eventually it's the parents' "MARCHING ORDERS" are followed, voila, guess what's the probability of the child not successfully hurdling that career path 'LITERALLY IMPOSED' by the parents?  Another lesson I picked up was another candidate clearly stating that "REGARDLESS OF YOUR START, YOU CAN GO AS FAR AS YOU HAVE SET YOUR GOAL"💹💹💹

In fact, from the eighty four candidates, easily more than half of them really shared very 'CONTENT HEAVY' lessons in life.  No less than Miss Thailand was given a special award considering her very humble roots wherein her father was just a garbage collector.  With such a storied past, we should need no convincing how far she has really journeyed💊💊💊

After all the glitz and glamor, by the time the event ended, the hands-down winner as Miss Universe was Miss U.S.A., the very first Filipina-American to capture the coveted titled.  Her roots itself was another colorful story wherein her Filipino father migrated to the U.S.A. to pursue his doctorate studies.  Indeed, SUCCESS STORIES are NOT scripted.  It's for us to plot it out✅✅✅