When You're Pressured, RELEASE THE SCREWS

When You're Pressured, RELEASE THE SCREWS

We have various nemesis in life but if there is a commonality amongst us, it is Mr. PRESSURE.  PRESSURE is an arrow directed to shoot us down and it comes because it is triggered by many factors, a sampling of which are our NEEDS, EXPECTATIONS, FAMILY, FINANCIALS, SOCIETY, just one too many.  With all the technologies on our hands, can we just BLOCK any of these pain points, adding them to our BLOCKED LIST ?  Too bad it doesn't work that way though. 

Before we start attempting to attack the very PRESSURES , we need to understand where and why are these PRESSURES coming into our way Tracing those PRESSURES from the triggers may help lead us back to figure out pre-emptive measures to avert for those pressures to recur again.  No point sulking and hosting our self-pity party because we will end up pushing our very own selves deep into that morass.

Once we succumb to PRESSURE, whether we are still in the academe or now at work or in our startup business, PRESSURES will easily push us to give up.  Isn't that mind boggling?  Once you give up on something where you did invest time, effort and even monies, all those will go down the drain and nothing comes back to you in return.  Worst is if we're talking about your family relationships.  Will you easily give up simply due to PRESSURES ?

A positive move is to figure out solutions to those problems before you succumb to those PRESSURES. But in practical terms, let me share how I did it because i've BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  First, I pulled the brakes and did ground to a halt.  Why ?  I had to take a REALITY CHECK, a PULSE CHECK.  Where was I ?  Was that a one-off thing ?  Or have I been going down south and still trending ?

Once you have reassessed everything, this is the moment of truth.  Two words can bring up far enough to survive the next upcoming laps.  THINK POSITIVE.  And I can attest that without those two words, I could be in a place where I'll be off-grid.  To THINK POSITIVE, RELEASE THE SCREWS !  How ?  Unleash them.  And translate them into ACTION WORDS that leads you to CONCRETE ACTION no less.  Trust me, this will bring you far enough✅✅✅
 

Bet BIG, Win BIG !

Bet BIG, Win BIG !

Bet BIG, Win BIG !  Ooops, before I get bashed by those crusading on a high moral ground, this piece is not about to encourage everyone to rush over to the casinos, NO Sir.  Instead, we'd like to paint an analogy of this statement 'Bet BIG, Win BIG' which often is being tagged to casinos and gambling.  But the reality, it is much more than that because our life is really like being inside the casino.

Life in itself is like a casino.  We come into it and start playing various games in the casino.  We loose some and win some.  When we loose, we end up unhappy but when we win, lo and behold, you would relish every moment of that win.  In a real casino, we may have limited money to play and hence are forced to quit when we run out of our resources.  However, in life's casino, our 'Creator' gives us UNLIMITED credit for wagering at the games.  So, most of us get addicted and go on playing without even wanting to quit.  And if there is a commonality between being in a casino and real life casino, it's that we always want to WIN BIG.  The difference is in our approach to WIN BIG.

It's understandable, though, that we can't always play with a full deck, even in real life because we're constrained with resources.  But the stark reality is that, as it is in the casino, in real life, when we bet is mager and within our means, the statistical probability is that even if you will win, you will win small.  Chances to WIN BIG has a very low probability.

At the end of the day, it's your choice, your decision whether you want to Bet SMALL that goes along with that quite a long shot for you to WIN BIG.  Whereas, if you want to increase your chances to WIN BIG, why not Bet BIG ?  Twenty years ago, I took that huge leap when I decided to Bet BIG. At that time, there were no budget airlines so I bought a return ticket SOLELY for a scheduled job interview in a Southeast Asian Country.

By taking that huge risk of spending US$500 for a return ticket with no guarantee that I'll get the nod for that job I applied for, a week after I flew back home, the HR manager emailed me that they were commencing to process my work visa.  And when I flew back to start work, my new employer was generous enough to extend me a US$5,000 relocation allowance. And not to mention the huge leap I was taking in my career, that will lead me to a hundred-fold increase of opportunities. It was then that I realized that I did Bet BIG and I did Win BIG.  Any takers ❓❓❓

Breaking Barriers

Breaking Barriers

Failures, what leads us to failures ?  Barriers.  Hurdles,  Obstructions.  Roadblocks.  Call it by any name, they are all barriers.  So, BARRIERS are the very culprits that cause us to hit a snag until we stumble, until we fail.  This does explain why most of us really detest barriers.  Where we can avoid it, we will do what it takes.  We would rather ditch it, thinking [wrongly] that that's the best way out of it.

Back in school, when we stereo-type a professor as a 'terror', we will likely avoid that professor.  At work, where we had a choice of reports to work on, we will pick up the least difficult ones.  In business, we will strategize for the easiest way out to boost our revenues.  In our relationships where we have our shortfalls and lapses, rather than make amends to repair things that get strained, the easiest way out is we will get a token gift, hoping that fixes the strain.

But rather than avoiding those barriers, won't we be better off if we were focused towards BREAKING BARRIERS instead of avoiding it ?  There's a quid pro quo though.  BREAKING BARRIERS will need a ton of effort + sacrifice and not to mention that persistent and unrelenting focus to really go for broke in BREAKING BARRIERS.

The question we're staring now is HOW do we end up BREAKING BARRIERS ?

• REMOVE your fear of failure.
• DO what you are afraid to do.
• Turn your doubt into MOTIVATION.
• PULSE CHECK as to where are you.
• Detach EMOTIONS in what you do.
• ASSESS the barrier holistically.
• NEVER stop.  NEVER give up.
• REWARD yourself when you succeed. 

The biggest question is how can you push yourself to be BREAKING BARRIERS ? Simple.  Think of the goals you have set to achieve.  Have your goals embedded.  And everyday, remind yourself that you're starting off the day to move inches towards your goal and you won't stop BREAKING BARRIERS ✅✅✅

It's NOT What You Say. It's HOW You Say It.

It's NOT What You Say. It's HOW You Say It.

Research shows that the average person speaks at least 7,000 words per day, with many more speaking much more than that.  Think about what that means to us, to you.  Those 7,000 words [at least] you speak each day are your very imprint to the world, whew!
But do we know that in real life, practically everyone of us get misunderstood or even misinterpreted arising from our words ?

The mother of all ironies is that 80% of the time, miscommunications & misunderstandings arise NOT because of the WORDS WE SAY but instead it is because HOW WE SAY those words When we disagree with someone's opinion, that is our inherent right but that's NOT the issue.  It is HOW WE SAY it that often triggers all these miscommunications in our interactions.

Some real-life samplings of communications issues:

• Disagreeing with an opinion by ARGUING on it.
• Expressing frustration WRONGLY to someone else.
• Ventilating your anger with MISPLACED emotions.
• Spewing out words that hurt SENSITIVE people.
• FALSELY raising expectations beyond what to do
• Becoming SUBJECTIVE when you can be objective
• Giving feedback in a DESTRUCTIVE manner.
• THUMBING down an idea but with no idea to give
  

And where do words most matter ?  They matter most in relationships.  At home, in school, at work, even in business.  How many relationships that were used to be pictured as those of 'soul mates' only for things to get sour ?  How many relationships we have seen even within families which just evaporated in thin air, all because of communications ?  In business, have we heard of business partners who infused both financial, talent and all the effort and by the time their business was reaping the revenues 'beyond the roof', each of the business partners went their separate ways, all because of communications ?

Yes, this is spot on.  PHRASING MATTERS. And when do frictions arise ?  Wait till after someone reacts.  Then fireworks will start.  Friction gets triggered.  Could all those been avoided ?  ABSOLUTELY !  But we need to exert our darn efforts not just in the words we state but what matters most is the way we DELIVER and EXPRESS those words.  Not a tall order, though.  We can achieve that✅✅✅

That 'FRONT PORCH' Mentality

 That 'FRONT PORCH' Mentality

Nope, this piece is not about grandma at the porch.  Having that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality refers to being 'hands-on' in whatever endeavor we undertake in life. Is this a 'TALKING POINT' these days ?  Yesss definitely it is because I am alarmed at the diminishing 'FRONT PORCH' mentality prevailing around us.

That 'FRONT PORCH' mentality is nothing less than having that 'HANDS-ON' mentality whether it is in school, at work or even in one's business.  Till to date, I bear witness to group projects in school wherein some are fence-seaters, riding on the coat tails of his/her groupmates.  I did also bear witness at work wherein even ground-level personnel DON'T have that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality as I see that being 'HANDS-ON' is really wanting.  Quite a zillion times, I had to deep-dive and highlight at the ground-level the minute details they DON'T detect.

Let's face it.  The corporate world has undergone a dramatic change over the past decade.  Organizations are global and the workforce has become more diverse than ever before.  Not to mention there is a plethora of technological distractions around them.  Indeed, many of us are at a loss how we can positively exploit to the hilt our own capabilities.  While some prefer to have that laidback attitude, studies have shown that 70% of those with that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality succeed whereas for those lacking or wanting in that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality, 70% fail.

Like it or not, Covid-19 has literally changed the world, as this poster goes.  From academe, commerce, trade and even our religious life, everything today is at least 180-degrees different from where it was prior to the pandemic.  What do these drastic changes require from us ?  It is that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality.

Even with social media lording it over our lives, just look around and we'll know there are three kinds of people - those who HATE their work, those who just TOLERATE their work [and see it more as a PAYCHECK and aren't looking for more and finally those who LOVE their work and relish it.  Take your pick.  At the end of the day, you need that 'FRONT PORCH' mentality in life.❗❗❗

Rainbow Comes After the Rain

Rainbow Comes After the Rain

Do we need to debate whethere there's ALWAYS RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN ?  FACT CHECK:  yes this is true.  But nope, we're no meteorologists so we won't be discussing meteorology but instead, we'd like to do a mapping instead.  Mapping the rain to the challenges we face in life and mapping the rainbow to that hope we cling to, to recover from life's challenges.

So, this comes both as a reassurance and reawakening to us all that despite the gloominess of life when we are going through various challenges in life, let us not despair because that too shall end.  Be wisely cautioned, however, that things WON'T be served to you in a silver platter.  You need to eke it out and figure it out for you to extricate yourself from whatever challenges you may be facing.  I can attest on a first-person account basis that this is the most common mistake.  We always [wrongly] thought that all we need to do is bide your time because after all the travails, eventually, your woes will simply dissipate in thin air.

Oh yes, some of us would compare that rainbow to that light at the end of the tunnel.  And that's half-correct at most because in reality, that light at the end of the tunnel is that of an incoming train that will just fatally smash and crash you.  Lesson here ?  Let us NOT assume that the next rainbow and the next light at the end of the tunnel will fix your woes effortlessly.

Oh, I got captivated by this 'HOPE' poster because it coined things to read as 'HOLD ON, PAIN ENDS' which is spot on.  We gotta hold on, meaning, be persistent and unrelenting because problems do not last forever.  The unanswered question, however, how long will the problems in our life linger around like a leech ?  Hmmmm, only GOD knows.  I can bear witness to some people whose problems remain unresolved for a very long time.

Are we now saying that challenges will remain in our lives ?  Yesireeeee as long as you continue traversing the roads, you will always see a marker out there.  So, how do we handle all our challenges till the RAINBOX COMES AFTER THE RAIN ?  #1 - MAKE A PLAN.  #2 - KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALONE.  #3 - ASK FOR HELP.  #4 - ACCEPT SUPPORT.  #5 - HELP OTHERS.  #6 - REMAIN POSITIVE-MINDED ❗❗❗

Keeping Afloat

Keeping Afloat 

KEEPING AFLOAT ?  I'll be the last to proclaim this to be easy because this is easier said than done in fact.  Fact is, in our life, its akin to swimming in the wide expanse of the oceans that are shark-infested with you literally nowhere to go except to run for your life, with your survival as the sole goal and nothing more.  Those are situations in our life when suddenly, we would throw away all our greed and ambitions simply for the sole pursuit of surviving and seeing the next day.

How do we then survive if we are in the worst of worst scenarios ?  #1 - PUSH YOUR LIMITS.  Do something that pushes your ability to improve on.  #2 - DON'T GO THROUGH LIFE ALONE.  You may be an introvert but there are situations which you can't handle all by yourself.  Build and surround yourself with a solid support system that really knows you.  If you're single and not committed, it could be friends you trust most.  

#3 - BE OPTIMISTIC.  Most of the time, we tend to have a negative outlook on things especially when it seems too hard to handle.  #4 - HAVE A JOURNAL.  Regardless if you're in a good or bad mood, having a journal allows you to write down your thoughts when you feel uncomfortable talking to people.  #5 - STOP COMPARING - Your life is different from others so you shouldn't feel bad if others are already at the peak of their success [while you're not].  Learn to trust the process and believe in your strength and capabilities that you can achieve whatever goals you have in life.  

#5 - AVOID HAVING A PITY-PARTY - Feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere so never drown yourself in self-pity.  Always remember that you're human.  Don't let the negativities get to you, and never ever think that it's the end of the world.  They are there to help you become strong.  

#6 - FEEL THE PAIN - Pain is inevitable, you'll feel it one way or another.  Remember that surely there's another opportunity out there waiting for you. #7 - STAY COMMITTED & FOCUSED - Have a focus and stay away from distractions and things that may hinder you from achieving your goals.  Every time you face a problem, you overcome a mental hurdle.  

#8 - DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF - It should be a constant reminder that you should always be kind to yourself.  The challenges that we face are there to bring out the best and the worst in us. Sometimes you can only depend on yourself and no one else.  #9 - ENJOY SOLITUDE - You might think that the best way to cure your problems is by drowning in alcohol and going all-night partying ??? Listen, booze and parties WON'T solve anything.    And lastly, #10 - DON'T EVER STOP TRYING. Giving up is not an option, dude ❗❗❗

Doors Swing Both Ways

Doors Swing Both Ways

Doors are everywhere.  Pity indeed that doors are one of those facets very frequently ignored by everyone of us.  Probably because we're taking it for granted because it seems it has no other function except to give us the passage to pass through it.  But hey, we got to realize that doors have much more important functions than just that.  Of course, we would pull a fast one and exclaim that doors open up to give us those opportunities, voila !  Yes, that's half of the picture though.  Doors can slam us off, giving us the unceremonious exit from the situation we're in at that moment.  It could be an opener of opportunities as much as a function to deprive us of the opportunities we may be angling for.

What we're angling at, in today's piece, is the value and relevance of DOORS in our life.  Think of the Straits of Hormuz.  DOORS are even comparable to the busy international straits where hundreds of international vessels pass through.  Take away those DOORS and we will be deprived of that channel and conduit where a lot of OPPORTUNITIES and LOST OPPORTUNITIES do pass through.

This poster says it all.  A missed opportunity is deemed as that expensive.  Why ?  That's the indemnity we have to bear with a missed opportunity.  Why ?  Because, to be honest, it is difficult to quantify the cost of a missed opportunity because of the consequences. Imagine a strained relationship and when a door opened up when one of the protagonists attempted to reach out to you ?  Imagine your school professor giving you a chance to make up for a project you failed to submit ?  Imagine an opportunity to expand your business but you missed it out ?

We do empathize with that feeling when we did miss an opportunity.  Dejected. Despondent.  But in real life, it could be more than just that.  Why ?  Because missed opportunities lead to consequences and ramifications.  It triggers a 'domino effect' that topples down the rest of the dominoes.  What's the lesson here ?  Never take those opportunities for granted, especially those that seem effortless because they pass through DOORS sometimes coming unexpected.

And yes, there are just two sides of the coin.  Missing or taking an opportunity.  Missing opportunities of happiness, love, career and success will be hard lessons that come our way.  Too bad, sometimes, when an opportunity comes, we would rather stay safe instead of taking a risk.  Wrongly, we were made to believe to FEAR the FUTURE and to BELIEVE in the PAST.  If you still buy that crap, please throw out that crap out of the window ASAP ❗❗❗

Is Your Train off the Rail ?

Is Your Train off the Rail ?

Oh, is your train OFF THE RAIL ?  Oh no, that's unacceptable because the end result could be fatal.  In life, you can't be OFF THE RAIL.  At any given time, you got to be ON-TRACK.  You could be delayed in your timelines and that's fine as long as you are NOT OFF THE RAIL.  Whys is being OFF THE RAIL so dreaded ? It's because if you are on that path, you are guaranteed and doomed to fail unless miracles will happen, which is pure fiction BTW.

And what's the most common symptom to confirm that we're OFF THE RAIL ?  It is when you're on the WRONG WAY, when you're in a direction that further push you down south whereas you're north-bound.  And what's the most common cause of being on the WRONG WAY ?  It is either a WRONG assumption, a WRONG decision or a WRONG judgment call.  And what then is the solution to fix it ?  You gotta RIGHT the WRONG.

Now, what is the hardest part ?  Yes sirs, it is to RIGHT the WRONG.  I've seen numerous situations of one getting OFF THE RAIL or OFF TRACK but the biggest problem is the person him/herself.  If he/she refuses to admit and recognize that he is OFF THE RAIL, and that he made that WRONG decision, there's just no way he/she will RIGHT the WRONG.  It all starts in the triple A's namely, ADMITTING, ACKNOWEDGING and ACCEPTING that you're OFF THE RAIL.

Yes sireeee, this poster is spot on: 'GOING OFF TRACK IS NEVER A PROBLEM, NOT COMING BACK ON TRACK IS A PROBLEM.  That's indeed our most common and recurring problem.  Getting back on track.  Why ?  Because, first and foremost, you gotta accept the triple A's of ACCEPTING, ACKNOWLEDGING and ADMITTING.  Once you hurdle that biggest hump, things may not be a breeze but yet, it will be much easier because at that point, you have 'unburdened' yourself of that remorse or guilt feeling of having gotten OFF THE RAIL.

For us to end up with an informed and happy decision, first and foremost, you need to be honest to yourself with what you really want.  Secondly, you gotta remain healthy no less.  If your health is less than good enough, that throws a monkey wrench on everything else.  Thirdly, you need to be passionate with whatever you pursue.  What else ?  Do help others.  Trust me, after you have helped others, you will have that unique sense of fulfillment.  What else ?  Make sure your finances are 'in order'.  Any finance issue will spoil everything you planned.  Very lastly, be thankful with the place you are in now.  You may not be at the top yet  but at least, you're not languishing at the doldrums.✅✅✅

Make a Good Run for the Pitch

Make a Good Run for the Pitch

We used to believe that hitting a pitch is all that matters and if you don't hit a home run, you'll be fine because more rounds of pitches will come your way.  No sirs, not true.  Whether  you're into college or professional baseball or softballs, there are only between seven to nine innings.  And that's exactly in life as well.  Those opportunities will never be UNLI.  And when you keep missing a homerun, before you know it, pressure is building up too much till you succumb from it, because of it.  If there is a common culprit in all our misses in life, it is pressure that pushes us to eventually breakdown and succumb to it.

That baseball diamond is the best analogy to our life.  And I always compared the three bases we need to cover before hitting our homerun to our phases in life, namely, schooling, working and family phases.  So, it's safe to conclude that life's phases can't be compartmentalized.  They are not akin to the missile silos which are to each its own.  You fail in your schooling, it could shape your remaining phases, and so with your work and family life phases.

We all have those visions in life to succeed and etch our own mark but that's a long road to take and it takes a journey of a lifetime no less.  And the biggest challenge is to piece together the various phases of our life because they are all intertwined.

Oh I plucked out this poster from somewhere to accentuate that life is more akin to baseball than to a 42-kilometer marathon.  Unlike in a marathon wherein you can have pit stops every step of the way, baseball offers you three bases to cover before you go for a homerun.  Going back to our lives, if you fail in your schooling, then you fail in your family relationship and you further fail at work, you're out, it's GAME OVER

So, what's our LIFE 101 ?  It's pretty simple.  Succeed in your schooling.  Succeed at work and succeed in your family relationships and you'll be good to go for a homerun, barring a freak thing that will cause you to hit a snag.  So, what's our lesson ?   MAKE A GOOD RUN FOR THE PITCH and that can guarantee you to have a cinderella finish as long as you don't end up with a fumbling act every step of the way.  LET'S GO FOR A HOMERUN, folks❗❗❗