Fork in the Road

Fork in the Road

Not our choice but everyone of us will have to travel through the roads and highways in life.  But that should be the least of our problems. In fact and in truth, being out there in the roads is never a problem per se but it's part and parcel in our life.  It's when we hit the 'fork in the road' when we need to take a momentary pause because every 'fork in the road' can make or break you.  It could spell the difference between success versus failure.  It could be that 'tossed coin' in your life.l

That 'fork in the road' is more of a norm rather than the exception in our life.  It's NOT that we will hit a 'fork in the road' because you can even come across it every day in your life.  It could be toss-up decisions whether to buy something or not.  Or it could be a life-changing decision that you need to grapple with.  It may tip things between happiness and misery, successes and failures, to name a few.

The most difficult 'fork in the road' in our life happens when everyone is going in one direction and here you are, struggling with a decision whether to take a path you are inclined to take but getting hesitant simply because you are outnumbered.  Word of advice.  DON'T be swayed when the 'mob rules'.

Our dilemma is that human nature dictates that we'll prefer to be part of the herd than be apart from the herd.  And that would have been fine if that herd is on the right path but WHAT IF that herd seems lost ?  Fact is, that 'fork in the road' should not be decided on based on that herd mentality.  What is best for us should be the only factor that will sway us with a decision, unpopular it may be but if that's the way to go, go for it.

What could be the worst thing after you get past that 'fork in the road' ?  It's that "OH NO" reaction when and where you end up blaming yourself for taking the wrong turn.  True we would make mistakes along the way but bottomline is, learn from such a mistake so that you DON'T end up with 'OH NO' situations over and over again.❗❗❗

That 'SPARK' We Need

That 'SPARK' We Need

WHO and WHAT needs a SPARK ?  Easy answer.  EVERYONE and EVERYTHING does.  Machines need it for it to start.  Vehicles need that ignition before it goes. Even horses get whipped before they do gallop.  And when we get hit with a power outage, generators need to be ignited for it to start off.  How about us humans ?

Even the handicapped do need that SPARK before they continue moving around in their life.  So, obviously, everyone of us can't deny that we need that SPARK to serve to well.  When our energy level is going down, when our morale is getting shot at [instead of being boosted], when our motivational level seems to go down on a tailspin, we need to figure it out when and how do we get that SPARK because we gotta turn things around rather quickly.

That match stick speaks volumes because it tells us that, where possible, we should avoid a 'burnout' because that's akin to ending up with a totally emptied fuel tank.  Just a quick analogy.  When a car's engine snaps out in the middle of the road, when a boat's motor suddenly fizzles out in the middle of the ocean, isn't that a prelude to something fatal, wherein there's no way to restart the engine ?

Stephen Covey, the noted American educator who was most famous for his highly successful book '7 Habits of Highly Effective People', summed things up: "MOTIVATION IS A FIRE FROM WITHIN.  IF SOMEONE ELSE TRIES TO LIGHT THAT FIRE UNDER YOU, CHANCES ARE, IT WILL BURN VERY BRIEFLY".  What he's telling us is that, that SPARK should emanate from us, from deep within us and not even from an alter ego because it's only us who can kick our butts hard enough to go on.

Simply put, let's go after the things we want.  While some people see the things they want, some people see the thing that prevents him to get that thing he wants.  Word of advice from Jack Ma: "WORK HARD TO PROVE YOURSELF".  The difference between successful people and us is that they never complained and they always went the Xtra mile to solve the problems of others.  That self-driven SPARK leads them to their self-fulfillments that in the end, ensure that that SPARK never fizzles out in life.✅✅✅

Albatross On Our Neck

Albatross On Our Neck ?

Who needs an albatross ?  Guess none of us will welcome an albatross.  Unfortunately, some of us [or probably many of us] do have that 'albatross on our neck'.  Just to be clear, having that 'albatross on our neck' does not mean that we're referring to a curse.  May not be a curse in most cases but I'd rather tag that 'albatross on our neck' as anything that seems to become a burden in our life.

Good to know though that that 'albatross on our neck' can come in many forms and shapes that end up as challenges in our life.  Health issue.  Family issue.  Financial issue.  Business issue.  Work-related issue and other multifarious shapes and forms.  What do we need to do then ?  First and foremost, you need to recognize that burden you're carrying.  Unless and until you recognize it, no way will you be able to fix it at all.

Why do we need to fix that 'albatross on our neck', if at all ?  Plain and simple.  Unless you fix it with finality, it will hover and hover in your life, disrupting whatever calm and tranquil you have in your life.  It will be wreaking havoc and just be too disruptive in your daily life.  In one fell swoop, your life can turn upside down or at the very least, topsy-turvy.  That's a fox hole you ended up and your only option is to extricate yourself out of it.

That 'albatross on our neck' may not be visually obvious.  Could be all in your head and that's the worst part because how can you be mentally and psychologically at peace if something is bothering you in life ?  It could worsen as a self-torture that you would have to agonize, more often, every tick of the clock.  Unless you get to have that peace of mind, how can you live life with a purpose, with less pressures, with less problems ?  Worst, that will muddle things up such that your cognitive part will be unable to think coherently and handle things in a logical and rational manner.  These are the ramifications of a problem begetting another problem a.k.a. 'albatross on our neck'.

To quote Michael Cunningham, the noted American novelist who was a Pulitzer Awardee for Fiction, 'YOU CANNOT FIND PEACE BY AVOIDING LIFE'.  In bare knuckles, what this means:  Focus your attention to the things you can control, be true and honest to yourself, do good deeds, be assertive and lastly, strategize to find your balance and inner peace.  Only then the path towards the main road will be paved for you to trek.  In a nutshell, let us extricate ourselves from that 'albatross on our neck'.  Everything is possible.  You just gotta do it, dude.❗❗❗


 

Mediocrity Is NOT Acceptable

Mediocrity Is NOT Acceptable

DON'T get me wrong.  MEDIOCRITY is not a crime.  It's just a result that varies from bad to worst to even fatal and catastrophic.  But it's a plight that cuts across segments of our society, from the most mundane tasks up to the most sophisticated processes in production plants of vehicles and even aircraft.  You could just be ordering burger at McDonalds or ordering those addictive milk teas or you could bringing your car for regular maintenance and servicing or in the technology space, you could be delivering end-to-end services for an enterprise-wide rollout.

GOOD NEWS:  Breaking free from mediocrity is not a rocket science.  You DON'T even need to enroll in any course or training.  And the best thing is if you're damn conscious and focused enough NOT to be mediocre, breaking free from mediocrity could even be effortless.  It's not extra skills or knowledge that matters.  It's one's commitment to ensure that anything and everything he does is not mediocre.

Over at the dart's board, can we figure it out why that board is peppered with hits within the periphery of the bullseye ?  That augurs well then because it simply means more are focused to excel than to be that mediocre.  Aiming for the bullseye should have been our very mindset every step of the way.  And that 'bullseye mindset' should be contagious enough every minute

In the service industry, what could propel things to go from mediocrity to service par excellence ?  I attest that CUSTOMER FEEDBACK MATTERS.  Years ago, I bought an alluring Swensen's ice cream cake in Singapore and although I stored it in the freezer, it melte, whew.  I gave the country director a call, that melted cake got replaced.  

During the travel peak season more than 14 years ago, I received an SMS notification from Singapore Airlines that my waitlisted booking was finally confirmed but when i attempted to have it ticketed, I was told that that booking was not a valid one.  When I lodged a complaint directly to the Vice President for Public Affairs, I was awarded a booking that was even upgraded to business class. What's driving first world economies way away from MEDIOCRITY ?  It's their drive for QUALITY.  That explains why we hardly hear of MEDIOCRITY when it pertains to the first world.  But c'mon, first world or third world, MEDIOCRITY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.✅✅✅

Fear Factor Revisited

Fear Factor Revisited

That Fear Factor American game show had  a good run from 2001 until the curtains came down for the last time in 2018.  But while the game show quite turned off some viewers for its extreme 'fear factor' stunts, it all boils down to the fact that in our life, all forms of fear will always be a factor, with their respective ramifications and consequences.

There are just one too many kinds of fears in life and a big chunk of those could have serious ramifications in our life.  It could be as mundane as fear of people's opinion.  But you won't believe this.  I'm aware first hand of real life stories wherein his life did grind to a halt, getting stalled simply because he was in fear of the opinions of other people.  Even assuming the opinions feared are coming from your loved ones, your family members or your workmates, the consequences are similar if the people concerned are strangers or people you hardly know.

These days when we are living in a very much connected world. it's natural to hear when we have that FOMO, that fear of missing out.  Who wants to miss out the boat, the last ride, the last trip.  Human nature dictates that we seem paralyzed when we're along by ourselves.  Obviously, we don't want to get missed out.

Is there a quick fix for our fears ?  Unfortunately, there is none but there is a fix to it.  Firstly, you gotta believe that you can handle things and recognize your lack of self esteem.  Begin by fortifying yourself by monitoring subconsciously your inner conversation and start talking to yourself.  Learn to be your own 'booster' and if you need one, start encouraging yourself.  Start facing the mirror, talking to yourself that you 'CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN'.  But DON'T miss asking yourself, WHY is it so many things are NOT happening ?

And never forget PURPOSE.  When you have not found yet your PURPOSE in LIFE, you tend to be grumpy and miserable.  But once you have a new idea, DON'T let it slip past you.  grab your pen and write it down.  Then TAKE THE LEAP.  Others just walked around it.  Find where are they now stucked ???

Of Headwinds and Tailwinds

 Of Headwinds and Tailwinds

Yesirrrrrs, it's worth talking about HEADWINDS and TAILWINDS, and not leaving this topic as a monopoly for aircraft pilots because we ourselves are pilots of our lives as well.  We need to be piloting our life from takeoff till touchdown and obviously, we are never in control of life's TAKEOFF & TOUCHDOWN but we can control the HEADWINDS and TAILWINDS in life.

As it is, not all HEADWINDS cause difficulties in our life but for a plurality, it does become a challenge.  More often, the same HEADWINDS may become favorable to one but unfavorable to the next guy and it's NOT the HEADWINDS that matter but rather it's how we handle it.  It's how we come up with the effective countermeasure, that antidote that will turnaround a tight situation.  Heard of 'going with the flow' ?  Exactly, that's the trick of the smart survivors. 

The thing is, never go against an immovable force because you will get knocked off.  More often, you gotta assess the strengths of the HEADWINDs before you decide if you would gonna go against its direction.  Allow yourself to consider the expanse where you exist at that very moment.  All these would depend on how you conceive the limits of your being.  Where you need to fix things, just go and fix it.

Do fix the things, those irritants that keep recurring over and over again even if people just shun it off because they take it as trivial.  And somehow, things you do everyday may seem trivial as it comprises 50% of what you need to do for a given day but remember, those are NOT mundane at all.  

In fact and in truth, the things you do everyday are the most important things to do.  A 100% adjustment to your being means there is a lot less rubbish around you and fewer traps for you to step into.  In the midst of all the turmoils in life, what is best for you may not have been asked at all, so what comes next will be like random snakes because they DON'T know where they were [probably because they DIDN'T look or DIDN'T know they should look.  Too bad, IGNORANCE and WILLFUL BLINDNESS have been always tagged as great catastrophe so people ended up never figuring it out where to go or why.

Regardless of HEADWINDS and TAILWINDS, all we yearn in life is to be like the cool and placid waters in the lake, waters so calm, gentle, mild, serene and tranquil enough for you to hear ripples in the water, if any.  Bottomline is, let us not leave our fate to HEADWINDS and TAILWINDS.  Instead, we gotta be in the controls, navigating through the air turbulence till our life gets back to its stable state at its cruising speed.  C'mon guys, let's control our life INSTEAD of life controlling us.✅✅✅

Birds of the Same Feather Flock Together

 Birds of the Same Feather Flock Together

This could be one of the oldest and most recycled proverb within the modern times, i.e. 
 Birds of the Same Feather Flock Together.  Question is, how can it continue to endure and get requoted a zillion times till now ?  It's because it has been proven true over and over again over time across all the strata of society and cutting across ages and generations.  Is this still worth talking today ?  Absolutely YES because there are many insightful lessons we can pick up from this old proverb, albeit heavily recycled.  

DONT get me wrong.  We're NOT shying away from this proverb.  We're NOT shooting this down and peppering with bullets.  If it's NOT detrimental to us and if it's NOT inimical to us, let's go for it.  I'm all for it.  BUT here's all the BUTs.  If you round up with losers, you'll end up with losers.  And when you're with losers, unconsciously you'll pick up their habits and attitude in life.  If you're with negative and cynical people all the time, you'll become cynical and negative.  In the end, you will end up living the lives of other people.  

 What's the fix for all these? Align yourself with positive and powerful people.  People who can encourage and empower you.  People you can learn from.  Align yourself with people LIKE YOU, people who dream LIKE YOU, people who want more in life, people who keep stretching and searching and seeking the HIGHER GROUND in life as opposed to the majority out there.  Always strive to get on top in life because it's the bottom that's OVERCROWDED.  Why is it OVERCROWDED there?  Because it doesn't take any effort to be there.

But hey, you DON'T want to be at the bottom because it doesn't take any motivation in order to stay down there on a lower level.  Harness yourself and tell yourself that you're going to challenge yourself.  Many times, things that we shouldn't do, we do.  And this tells us that the biggest enemy we gotta deal with is ?  OURSELF, whew !  As that old African proverb goes, 'IF THERE'S NO ENEMY WITHIN THE ENEMY OUTSIDE WILL DO US NO HARM'.  So what is it you're doing now that will be a liability to you ?  

Look towards the future, take an inventory of yourself and ask yourself, what is it about you that you should leave behind because it NO LONGER FITS ?  Unless you change your behavior and pattern, you're going to continue to produce the same results in 
  

your life.  When you reassess yourself, you would know whether you got a SMASH or a FLOP.  Worst, when you say 'NO' to yourself, by then you have taken yourself out of things.  And here's a VERIFIED FACT:  87% of our SELF-TALK is NEGATIVE. So we gotta take a conscious and deliberate effort to extricate ourselves from this deep morass.  And remember that whatever you have done in the past is not a reflection of your possibilities but instead, it's just a reflection of your consciousness.  Final word ?  let's TRUST OURSELF by building up the very foundation of our self-confidence. As the French say, 'TU PEUX LE FAIRE" [YOU CAN DO IT]. 📌📌📌

Recency Bias

 Recency Bias

Being bias is not good per se but what makes this matter worse is when we get hit with RECENCY BIAS.  Multifarious events or results tend to be influenced and/or shaped up RECENCY BIAS.  It's the PAST that dictates the results, instead of the the very PRESENT moment, that very moment itself.

And how do we define RECENCY BIAS.  Either it's a premature assumption that something will happen again because it did happen recently or simply giving that heavy weight on something simply because it did happen recently.

Unfortunately, the cognitive part of us seem to be illuminated by those bulbs such that when one bulb gets busted, the cognitive part in us can vividly remember that it was the second bulb from the left that got busted.  On the other hand, if the RECENCY you could recall are successes or milestone achievements, that may [LIKELY] lead you to succeed and succeed more.  That's the streak most bemedaled competitors are motivated to the hilt.

Too bad, till now the market innovators have yet to invent 'eraserheads', tools that can erase out those RECENCIES in our cognitive part.  Either way, we should have heard of streaks.  Winning streaks. Losing streaks.  Those streaks of 'bad luck' when in fact and in truth, what dictated those losing streaks is RECENCY BIAS.

Too bad if we ourselves are stuck with RECENCY BIAS.  Those moments of turmoil when you can hardly literally move on because you were so damn frustrated with the turn of events such that things seem to have driven you many wedges deeper.  How to get over this dilemma?  Clear. Initialize. Reboot.  Restart things even if you need to start coldly.

Where and when you get trapped between headwinds and tailwinds, go for the latter.  Never get trapped by headwinds  Remember your life is your responsibility.  If you DONT hold yourself accountable enough, you will come up with the tons and tons of reasons why you can't do this and that.  Take that game-changing step dude.✅✅✅

Never Burn Bridges

Never Burn Bridges

That path in our life, land mines are planted all over the place, leaving you very little room left to wiggle out.  Arguments, disagreements, duels, skirmishes, tiff and really bloody fights are all part of our life stories.  And expectedly, we would end up bruised, scarred and even injured, sometimes, when the stars don't align, things could have a fatal end. But if there is a basic NO-NO, NEVER BURN BRIDGES.

Work environments are a very learning experience.  Decades back, you can spew fire at your ex-boss out of sheer frustration exacerbated by emotions.  And you just won't give a damn because you were almost cocksure that you have seen the last shadow of your ex-boss.  Fast forward in today's  connected and digitized world, gone were those silos, those trenches.  

You would never know really.  In your next job hop, were filling up an online form unaware that your ex-boss is in that organization.  Or, you may have finally hurdled all interviews and all that's waiting for you to sign the job offer on the dotted line is a required reference check with your ex-boss, and that's all.  But WHAT IF you burned your bridges ?  Where does that leave you ?  Probably in a deep deep trench you just can't extricate because by that time, much as you want to mend fences with your ex-boss, how can you have the temerity to reach out when that rickety bridge is all in tatters and just beyond repair.

This poster says it all.  If there's anything you got to protect every step of the way is your integrity.  There could be huge gaps and disconnects with your previous bosses but both of you can agree to disagree, that's all [and nothing more than that].  Things can still end up amicably, civilly.  And that runs true even to your friendships.  God knows, a decade or two later, you would need to leverage on a helpline where your former bff is at the other end.  I've witnessed these scenarios quite a few times wherein a decade later, your friend from way back is already a successful litigation lawyer and you're in a legal tussle  where he's the realistic option in your community.  

You and I may easily give a cold shoulder those people now pulling the strings, those straddling the corridors of power.  But they should never be looked beyond their shoulders because you'll never know that you need to initiate a courtesy call to a friend way back in school simply because you need HELP.  And when we need HELP, remember we would even cling to the sharp edges of the sword simply because we needed HELP.  So please, NEVER BURN BRIDGES.📌📌📌

End That Pity Party

 End That Pity Party

Everyone of us do have our UPs and DOWNs in life and probably for some of us, there could have been more DOWNs than UPs.  And when we're down, it's fine self-pity will creep in.  But when things go down our way, we need to focus on finding the light.  With no vision, we could drift away.  In brief, we gotta fix our life then.  But saying it is better than done so let us translate our words into action via steps proven to be effective over and over again based on clinical studies.

Sulking would be fine but again we can only get so far into that.  Eventually, we need to allow ourselves to consider the expanse where we exist at that moment. And it really depends on how we conceive the limits of our being.  And if there are issues recurring repeatedly, we gotta fix the things that repeat 

everyday because people might think of it as trivial.  Things we do everyday may seem trivial as it comprises approximately 50% of what we need to do for the day but those are just NOT mundane.  The things we do everyday are, in fact, the most important things we do.  And if probably you initiate a hundred adjustments to your being means there's a lot less rubbish around with you and in the end, that would mean there will be likely fewer traps for you to step into.  So how do we take the next step ?  Stay within your domain of competence.  You just DONT walk up to repair a helicopter and start tinkering on it.  The phoenix is a classic example of transformation.  The thing is, the importance of what you learn is proportionate to just how wretched it is to learn it.

If what you're doing is working, you get what you want but there's no learning in that.  It's when you stumble across something difficult, then you recoil then you're down to the depths and you have to sort yourself out and you realize you're down in the dumps and you need some fixing.   That's where things get murkier because we human beings are strange

creatures because we're very malleable compared to animals, just like those grizzly bears now and grizzly bears a thousand years ago are the same, they do the same thing, there's NO transformation but we human beings have this massive brain so we pay a big price for it [as a challenge].  Finding out something you're doing is wrong, that sort of built into like a character, that element of character, a presumption of your perception or a deep habit really built into you and its a neural structure, it's alive and you gotta have to kill it.  

And if you need to go through a massive revision, it's like the person that comes out the other end might hardly be the same person just iike if you're trying to combat alcoholism which is a wretched thing to do, maybe because all of your friends are alcoholic.  In the end, it's NOT how addicted you are to the substance but it's how you live with it.  At the end of day, there is no such thing as a LOST CAUSE except when we feel we're lost in the maze of life.✅✅✅