When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'

When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'

It is just nothing but NORMAL when life if filled with uncertainty and worries about the future.  And while many things remain beyond our control, your mindset is key to coping with difficult circumstances and confidently facing the unknown When You Realize You're So 'OUT OF LEFT FIELD'.  Whether it concerns the recent global pandemic, the economy or your finances or health and even relationships, much of what lies ahead in life remains uncertain [even when at the very moment, everything just seems so nice and dandy]💊💊💊

Yet, as human beings, we crave for security.  We want to feel safe and have a SENSE of CONTROL over our lives and well-being.  FEAR and UNCERTAINTY can leave us feeling anxious and worse, stressed and worst, seemingly powerless over the direction of our life.  Indeed, that situation can drain us emotionally and trap us in a downward spiral of endless 'WHAT IFs' and worst-case scenarios as to what tomorrow will bring forth to us👘👘👘

We're all different in how much UNCERTAINTY we can tolerate in life.  Some people seem to enjoy taking risks and living unpredictable lives while others find the randomness of life deeply distressing.  But all of us have a limit though.  If you feel overwhelmed by UNCERTAINTY and worry, it is important to that we're NOT alone.  Many of us are in the same boat  It's also important to realize that no matter what, we can deal with what it is📌📌📌

So what matters most is coping with that UNCERTAINTY.  While we may NOT acknowledge it, UNCERTAINTY is a natural and unavoidable part of life.  Very little about our lives is constant or totally certain and while we have control over many things, we CAN'T control everything that happens to us.  The recent pandemic is an example✅✅✅

One day, things may be just fine and come the next days, the whole world was literally crumbling down to its feet.  The unfortunate ones even lost their job and ended up finding themselves struggling to put food on the table so to speak.  To cope with all these uncertainties, many of us use worrying as a tool to trying to predict, the future and avoid nasty surprises.  Worrying can make it seem like we have some control over UNCERTAIN circumstances.  Most importantly, you must realize when you're SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD❗❗❗

Cut Your Losses [If PUSH Comes To SHOVE]

Cut Your Losses [If PUSH Comes To SHOVE]

A gambler might call it 'CHASING YOUR LOSSES' while it is more commonly heard amongst British "DON'T THROW GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD".  Either way, and in whatever endeavor you are engaged in life, do Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE because of the very jarring implications if you miss that 'LAST CHANCE'.  Even that gambler [@ The Strip in Las Vegas] will get questioned, WHY KEEP PLAYING AFTER LOSING [a lot of money]?  Even economists call it the SUNK COST FALLACY, that phenomenon which drives us to make BAD decisions💎💎💎

Look back that weekend when you went to the shop to buy your necessary provisions until you realized that that shop actually closes on Sundays and that there are no other shops open that day.  So, will you still finish up that walk?  Unless you were that desperate to stretch your legs, this seems to be a stupid way of thinking.  Yet, bizzarely, this illogical cognitive pattern seems widespread in decision-making, often in 'high stakes'  What gets lost in all these is that when needed, you got to Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE⏳⏳⏳

In other words, most of us are loath to cut our losses.  We are much more likely to continue to senselessly plough TIME or MONEY into a project that ISN'T working out in the hope that it will get better [really?] than take a hit and walk away.  What drives this is OPTIMISM [which sometimes becomes MISPLACED OPTIMISM, that against the odds, the situation will improve], again this boils down to our AVERSION to FAILURE✅✅✅

Let's swing to our relationships with partner/spouse.  If such a relationship has turned upside down year-on-year and things are way beyond repair or recovery, then Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE.  And how abut friendships that used to be most robust to last a lifetime but with the protagonists now turned as 'sworn enemies', DON'T you need to Cut Your Losses If PUSH Comes To SHOVE?  Or at the workplace wherein one team member has directly caused SLA's to be breached [over and over again] impacting client.  Will you continue to slap that employee's wrist?  What if you lose your business when your client walks away❓❓❓

So what's our FIX?  How can we avoid these pitfalls?  A 'common sense' approach is this way.  When weighing up whether to persist with a course of action, let's ask ourselves: "WHAT WOULD I GAIN OR LOSE IF I STUCK WITH THIS OPTION AND WHAT WOULD I GAIN OR LOSE IF I SWITCHED?  And this brings us full circle back to that common dilemma of that gambler @ The Strip [in Las Vegas] because any poker player knows when to fold up.  Just Cut Your Losses, If PUSH Comes To SHOVE❗❗❗

Doing Things With Trepidation

Doing Things With Trepidation

Doing Things With Trepidation?  Oh no AS IN oh no!  Why pursue something something which you really fear front, left, right and center?  Studies have shown that a common cause of Doing Things With Trepidation are repressed emotions which we do unconsciously avoid.  These differ from suppressed emotions which are feelings we purposely avoid because we DON'T know exactly how to deal with them💎💎💎

Let's take a real-life hypothetical scenario where you and your partner have a fight and decide to break up one evening.  You still have to meet with an important client at work the next day, so you decide to SUPPRESS or push aside your feelings until you get home from that meeting.  SUPPRESSION can sometimes be a good short-term solution as long as you make sure to address those emotions sooner rather than later.  REPRESSED emotions, on the other hand, DON'T get a chance to be processed.  BUT that DOESN'T mean they simply disappear.  Instead, they might show up as a range of psychological or physical symptoms💊💊💊

Psychologists also came up with their studies which show that for the most part, people tend to repress strong emotions especially those associated with discomfort or other unpleasant experiences.  FEAR, ANGER, FRUSTRATION, SADNESS and even DISAPPOINTMENT are just a sampling.  From this short list, we should see a pattern.  These emotions are often described as negative.  It's common to repress emotions you consider BAD or believe other people might judge you for expressing.  And they say this stems from your past📌📌📌

For some people, emotional detachment is another trigger of doing things with trepidation.  As it is a way of coping with overwhelming people, in the end, we tend to choose WHEN to be involved and WHEN to step away.  Studies show that in other cases, numbing yourself to emotions and feelings may NOT be healthy.  Indeed, frequently 'TURNING OFF' your emotions may lead to unhealthy behaviors such as a fear of commitment✅✅✅

What's our insight for today?  It is that emotional detachment that occurs when people either willingly or even unwillingly 'TURN OFF' their connection with their emotions.  This may be intentional [like a defensive mechanism on emotionally draining people] or simply unintentional due to an underlying condition or medication side effect.  In summary, it helps that we self-detect once we are doing things with trepidation because very likely, there is/are underlying conditions that are triggering that situation❗❗❗

When The Well Goes Dry

 When The Well Goes Dry

Anyone who buys the line that, in life, we've got a bottomless pit?  No sirrrrs, I DON'T buy that because on the other hand,  When The Well Goes Dry, that's one of the realities in life.  Deep inside us, we have our respective rivers.  Virtually, each of our rivers flow with our good health, that positive outlook in life complemented by that positive attitude.  And ideally, that river flows freely through us💎💎💎

Whether it's faucets, artesian wells or rivers, when we allow this flow and keep our own 'WELL" from getting plugged up, there's a peace or an ease, a current that takes us along, then everything seems easier when good things come our way.  When wonderful opportunities are presented to us, we're ready for them📌📌📌

It also refreshes, renews and revitalizes our lives. Surely, we have known people from time to time who defied all the LOGIC and stayed alive years longer than they should have. Or you may have known people who've been able to keep a POSITIVE OUTLOOK on life even though terrible things happened to them.  Their RIVER ran strong and their WELL never went dry⏳⏳⏳

When the WELL goes dry, when the WELL gets clogged, those are the days when things seem to be DOWN in us, whether it's physically or emotionally.  No matter what we do, we CAN'T seem to 'snap out of it'.  That WELL, that RIVER has gone dry and only a little trickle seems to pass through.  Sadly, many people allowed their WELL to go dry✅✅✅

They are easily discouraged and they seem to be easily mired n a mud hole and every step becomes a struggle.  So, what's our FIX?  Discover that clogged WELL and UNCLOG that WELL.  Until you get your WELL cleared out and unclogged, everything will be difficult, disappointing and unfulfilling.  So, tap into that stream because water satisfies like nothing else.  The last thing we want to happen is WHEN THE WELL GOES DRY❗❗❗

Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Allow me to quote the great William Shakespeare who said:  Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache.  There's just NO way I can disagree with this truism.  Indeed, EXPECTATIONS are a funny thing.  We all have them, and we rarely even realize it because they're so ingrained in our psyches.  It's easy to take for granted that others will meet an EXPECTATION [that someone will do what you want or need them to do without a second thought].  BUT what if they DON'T❓❓❓

WHAT if your EXPECTATIONS of others is quite unrealistic?  Having high EXPECTATIONS of others is 'PREMEDITATED' discontent no less.  What you think will happen may NOT, and if it DOESN'T, we feel unfulfilled.  Now, let's dive into the common reasons having high EXPECTATIONS of others is indeed BAD for us.  Obviously, the most common trigger why we have high EXPECTATIONS of others are our past experiences.  If in the past, that person always met our EXPECTATIONS, obviously we will continue to hope for the same thing to happen💊💊💊

In the PAIN SCALE, surely you know where you're pain points are.  So, what pushes you with those EXPECTATIONS?  Your influence triggers that when you believe that your ideas, thoughts, actions and words have an influence on events✅✅✅

And when you think your way is the BEST WAY, you tend to harbor high opinions, then you expect others to hold them high as well.  And that feeling of PRAISE feels good when someone acknowledges your achievements.  You expect others will feel just as good when they accomplish things📌📌📌

Now, if there is a FEAR that triggers HIGH EXPECTATIONS, that FEAR of FAILURE is the culprit.  If you manage people, your reputation is on the line if you fail in your duties.  This FEAR of FAILURE makes you HIGH-pressure and HIGH-stress.  Having HIGH EXPECTATIONS of others comes from your mindset, fears and experiences.  It is important to recognize this firm belief that something will happen so can have realistic expectations.  Lest you forget, EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL HEARTACHE [to quote the great William Shakespeare]❗❗❗

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

More than a decade back, every week I was hopping on my weekly flightst between Mumbai and Hyderabad in India and I made sure all my domestic flights were via KINGFISHER. Just a few years after I completed my India project, I learned that Vijay Maliya, the high profile KINGFISHER owner ran away to the UK over debts of more than US$ 1 Billion.  This tragic fall should help explain Why Things RISE Before They FALL💎💎💎

Let's set aside that tragic KINGFISHER story.  Instead, let me share the JETSETTING lifestyle of someone I personally knew UP CLOSE.  Prior to the pandemic, he bragged [and I totally believe him] that he was logging an average of twenty four flights per year [mostly within the Middle East [with Dubai frequently one of two end-points].  As we speak now, sadly, that person has hit rock bottom, penniless literally speaking⏳⏳⏳

So, what explains trajectories that may seem to go up the farthest north only to take a deep nosedive, sometimes towards deep south with hopes of even recovering a long shot, if at all?  Simple explanation.  Once we have risen up to the top, humans generally become cocky a.k.a over-bearing, blustering, swaggering that becomes the very recipe of his downFALL📌📌📌

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From a statistical perspective, this is what LAW OF AVERAGES is all about which, in technical jargon is defined as 'the principle that supposes most future events are likely to balance any past deviation from a presumed average'.  Depending on the context, it can be considered a valid commonsense observation or a misunderstanding in the science of probabilities.  Translating in layman's terms, we should be wary when the trajectory keeps zooming up because that is an anomaly✅✅✅

What's our FIX for this conundrum?  Let us remain hopeful and welcoming when things are on the upswing but if that trajectory seems to run unabated, better be wary because that may likely be an outlier that will be eventually corrected by the LAW OF AVERAGES.  Problem is, when that trajectory keeps zooming up, some of us tend to get ;hostaged' by it, wrongly thinking that that upswing is a legitimate one.  WHEN in fact and in truth, he himself CAN'T explain that trajectory.  WHAT is imperative is to be constantly aware that, more often, THINGS RISE BEFORE THEY FALL❗❗❗

That Wherewithal In Life

That Wherewithal In Life

Changing our life can be both scary and exciting but more than anything, it is necessary to grow.  Most people come to a point one day where they have to make a change in their life to either grow personally or professionally but it's hard to figure out when you're ready to make that change.  At that point, the question to us is if we have That Wherewithal In Life📌📌📌

BTW. we humans all have something that makes us tick.  A goal that makes us wake up at 5am even though we would love to sleep in late.  A drive that makes us decline social events because our jobs need us to stay all night or maybe it's the opposite and we attend social events to please the ones close to us.  It comes from our motivation to succeed either professionally or personally but once the drive is missing, then we CAN'T keep going and we tend to lose our motivation. If we suddenly CAN'T find the drive inside we once had, it can be a sign💎💎💎

Oh, we've been taught to keep going even when it gets tough but it's okay to change and redefine ourselves.  It's NOT really about GIVING UP.  Instead, it's all about stopping up and revaluate whether we still want the same things in life.  Sometimes, we may find out that we still want the same time but the way we're going about it isn't working for you by then💊💊💊

Last night, I was watching the Netflix documentary regarding that Pepsi-Cola promo few decades back wherein you need to pile up points by purchasing it and the products to be redeemed, HOLD YOUR BREATH, was NOT limited to T-shirts but there was that 7 million points which you can redeem for a Harrier Jet.  And when a doggedly determined intrepid teenager named John Leonard decided to pursue it till the last drop✅✅✅

Bottom line here is that, this becomes one non-negotiable thing, that once we plunge into life, we got to have that WHEREWITHAL IN LIFE because that will fix any chinks in our armor as that adds up the ante for our readiness to face all our challenges.  For a non-swimmer who dives into the waters, we all know what would happen next and we DON'T want anything fatal happening down our journey of our life❗❗❗

Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?

Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?

So much mud, rocks and even the whole kitchen sink have all been thrown on Former U.S. President Donald Trump as recent as we speak.  To think that he had to endure a flurry of indictments.  BUT before I get accused for being a non-entity prying into the U.S. domestic politics, I hope we can meet halfway wherein America has always been the bastion of Democracy, so I hope this does justify me, a non-American, throwing my 2-cents Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?  And despite the indictments he recently went through [which, technically, the charges seemed to be that 'jaw dropping'] considering that it's the very first time a former U.S. president has been indicted in a federal court [and earlier in New York]📌📌📌

And indeed, what makes all those charges quite dumb founding is that they come at a [WRONG] time when Trump is running for president.  But over and above the Trump indictments,  everything else is shining nice and dandy.  Ironically, an ABC News/Washington Post Survey, a 54% majority of Americans favor him facing criminal charges while only 38% do not favor.  Ironically, Trump remains popular💎💎💎

Even the recent Florida head-to-head polls show him leading by a mile when matched against four out of five Democrats whereas in the head-to-head with incumbent president Joe Biden, it's a 50% dead heat, whew.  WHY?  What can explain all of Trump's popularity despite all the mud [and now the indictments] thrown on him?  But this should not need rocket science to explain [despite that I'm NOT an American]✅✅✅

My layman's explanation here is that, all things being equal, there must that 'goodness' combined with goodwill that continues to carry Trump's flame of popularity.  This explains why the Democrats are NOT taking things likely how the Trump Train's chug-chug locomotive is worming its way back to the electorates.  Did we hear this old cliche that NO ONE CAN BRING A GOOD MAN DOWN?  Me thinks.  That explains WHY CAN'T THE COMBINED FORCES EVER BRING DOWN TRUMP❗❗❗

When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'

When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'

Remember those times when you felt anxious, like you were waiting for something to happen BUT didn't exactly know what that was?  If it sounds familiar, because at some points in time, we were in that situation When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'.  Mr Webster defines HOLDING PATTERN as that 'state of waiting or suspended activity or progress'💎💎💎

Several times in my past flights, I vividly recall seeing several planes lining up and preparing to land.  Whereas, our plane then circled around the airport until they got that PERMISSION TO LAND.  Indeed, this is a realization that many points in our busy lives are all about waiting.  This seems to go against everything we are taught in life, because life is supposed to play out in a forward- moving motion, a process, a plan to keep getting ahead📌📌📌

Indeed, we should be moving forward to grow more maturely, to grow older.  We move ahead to finish schooling, we move onwards to find employment, to get the first job we want and so on.  Then, we start our own families, we buy our first car [even if it is a second-hand one], then eventually buy our dream home [not the best but the best based on what we can afford] and we live life.  BUT if you pay attention, most of us really DON'T spend the time we have in between our own HOLDING PATTERNS.  Frankly though, we do, BUT usually while in the midst of it, we feel many other things and grow invariably frustrated.  We are often NEGATIVE.  We get upset, grow sick of waiting and are frustrated about things NOT going the way the process is supposed to go in our minds⏳⏳⏳

Here's a sampling of our never ending HOLDING PATTERNS.  WHY ISN'T MY JOB PROMOTION HAPPENING YET?  WHAT WILL BE THE FINAL DIAGNOSIS ON ME?  DID I PASS THE EXAM?  IF I NEED TO "RESET", HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO RECOVER?  Those are samplings of HOLDING PATTERNS where we tend to be in a 'state of flux✅✅✅

So what's our FIX?  Let's embrace the fact that by default, our life is within a HOLDING PATTERN.  WHY?  Are the events we plan and expect tomorrow are all guaranteed to happen as per plan?  Are our expectations for that sales appointment guarantees that that client will sign on the dotted line?  To settle things down, let's accept that life is by itself a HOLDING PATTERN❗❗❗

Are You A PILLAR? Or Just A Piece?

Are You A PILLAR?  Or Just A Piece?

In the rough and tumble world of the NBA in the United States, the road to stardom is plotted on the assumption if one is deemed a PILLAR [or a FRANCHISE player] or just another PIECE as part of the rotation.  From a $$$$$ perspective, a player tagged and pegged as a PIECE can dream of an annual contract around $2 million whereas a PILLAR or FRANCHISE PLAYER can look for a 'MAX DEAL' anywhere north of $150 million.  In life, Are You A PILLAR?  Or Just A Piece❓❓❓

In our daily life, HOW are we?  WHERE are we in that mammoth crowd?  Are you just another needle in a haystack?  Or do you somehow play a specific role with a deliverable?  We may NOT be that aware but in life, there are PILLARS across, encompassing HEALTH, MONEY, HAPPINESS and RELATIONSHIPS.  Miss one pillar and likely you can't cover the whole nine years in life📌📌📌

Oh, how does it feel to be in the middle of a mammoth crowd?  Overwhelming?  Suffocating?  But that's NOT a concern at all.  The challenging question is. do you have any expected or defined ROLE within that mammoth crowd?  OR are you just contented to be another piece of the whole ensemble?  NOT bad to be a piece but let's think about it, ISN'T it a waste of our presence if we ever end up just another PIECE⏳⏳⏳

The thing is, while we are NOT forced to take on any role in life that becomes compulsory, wouldn't our presence and existence be more impactful?  Impactful NOT from a high-flyer perspective but rather just taking on that mantle of responsibility in life where you got your own deliverable, within your capability.  Sadly, I've seen able and capable bodies in life who would manifest that laid-back attitude where they would rather just watch✅✅✅

Yesirreeeeeee, allow me to state the obvious. like it or not, we got to make a STATEMENT in life, NOT literally but in terms of one's impactful presence in life.  Whether it pertains to your relationship with your partner/spouse, your family and loved ones, within your workplace or within your entrepreneurial initiatives, you got to be a PILLAR.  Bluntly, if you end up just as another PIECE, my equally blunt question is:  IS YOUR LIFE WORTH IT IF YOU'RE JUST A PIECE INSTEAD OF A PILLAR❓❓❓