Can You Still Control?

Can You Still Control?

Everyone of us just went through the gauntlet, that harrowing Covid pandemic and the most difficult part of it was that UNCERTAINTY that was looming all over us for more than two years.  But there's this study that states that that UNCERTAINTY unlocks a desire from within us to CONTROL what we can. So,  Can you still control❓❓❓

So HOW do we navigate through those UNCERTAINTIES [oooooops, even after the Covid pandemic ended, let's admit that UNCERTAINTIES remain in life]?  When we're anxious, we're likely to IMAGINE the worst-case scenarios BUT we gotta remind ourselves that the worst-case scenarios is only one of many possible outcomes.  It can be helpful to think about the BEST-CASE scenario and the MOST-REALISTIC scenario, which falls somewhere between the BEST and the WORST.  Now, let's dissect.  WHY do we crave for CERTAINTY?  Simple. The way you view things affects how you feel💎💎💎

Going back to the recent pandemic, IF we knew when the virus would die out, we'd feel better.  If we knew for sure that when it died out, we'd be okay, with a job and a roof over our heads and food to eat and we'd feel better.  NOT knowing leads to UNCERTAINTY and once we experience that, we often try to reduce our discomfort by trying to take CONTROL.  BUT there's just not much more that we can do other than sheltering in place, limiting our exposure to other people.  Unfortunately, most of us CAN'T reduce our risk to ZERO.  So it's imperative to accept that we CAN'T always take 100% CONTROL❕❕❕

Instead, re-look things from two vantage points, namely, those things that MATTER and those things that you can CONTROL.  And when you plot those circled areas in juxtaposition, they overlay area surfaces out and that becomes your FOCUS AREA.  Note that there are many things that matter but are way beyond your CONTROL, hence that's not even within your radar or telescopic view.  To cap this all, always know where and when CAN YOU CONTROL✅✅✅

Be damn sure though that when you blurt out 'EVERYTHING IS OK', that really is the case INSIDE-OUT.  Because the common pitfall where we end up stalled is that, based on human nature, we are often in DENIAL.  We refuse to take a BP even when we feel our blood pressure is spiking.  We refuse to rest and take a break even if our energy is zapped.  Worst, we end up lured to controlling.  But CAN YOU STILL CONTROL❓❓❓

When Sustainability Matters MORE Versus LESS

When Sustainability Matters MORE Versus LESS

As we all live in the midst of RAT RACES all over us, with communities becoming more borderless and even virtuality becoming the [default] norm rather than an option, even in our social life, we are sometimes exposed to situations when and where we end up interacting with people who even come from the highest strata of our society.  But did we realize that unless we belong to the same societal strata, it's next to impossible to keep up with the 'JONESES'?  So, we need to be awareWhen Sustainability Matters MORE Versus LESS📌📌📌

If you're still part of the academe now, as a student, you become euphoric each time your test results are above par.  BUT you got to sustain that level of academic of performance for you to achieve the end result.  That's when SUSTAINABILITY is needed more.  BUT that level of SUSTAINABILITY may be needed LESS.  BUT WHEN?  That's when you are much nearer to your goal and an example is if the academic term is about to end [and before that, you have had sterling performances that were consistent].  That's when you can taper off, slacken off without compromising your end goal⏳⏳⏳

If you're new at the workplace and to date your performance is above par, you might ask, how far do you need to sustain that level of performance?  The quick answer is:  You need to sustain it as far as you need it.  For relationships, the same principle applies.  Until such time your relationship has become rock solid, then you got to sustain it💎💎💎

If you're an entrepreneur, sustainability is needed in very long stretches of your [commercial] journey.  In most of these business, there is hardly an 'AUTO PILOT' mode [unless you work right there inside the aircraft cockpit].  WHY?  Because entrepreneurship is very volatile and unstable.  It even becomes more vulnerable to a myriad of factors in business.  Maybe, not until your business balloons to become ROCK SOLID❗❗❗

And this poster says it all.  Both SUCCESS and SUSTAINABILITY are like Siamese Twins.  There is just NO way to cut their umbilical cord.  In a nutshell, to avoid any 'mix up', let us align on the same page and agree that, per se, we need to SUSTAIN our little and minor SUCCESSES because the road towards our goal is treacherous✅✅✅

Why Going UP Is 1000x Times Tougher

Why Going UP Is 1000x Times Tougher

Everyone likes and loves FUN.  Especially during fiestas and festivals where event organizers will always include that pole contest for that challenge to climb up that greasy pole.  YET, many are called BUT few are chosen.  Exactly, that is a factual statement.  Majority of those contestants eventiually give up [even if it's just for FUN].  So, here's a petty riddle.  Why Going UP Is 1000x Times Tougher💊💊💊

Of course, eventually there will be winners BUT do we agree that MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN [to win and prevail that climb]?  The sad truth that makes our horizons look gloomier than ever is that in life, we all go through bad times, we all experience disappointment, loss and change, and we all feel sad, anxious and eventually stressed at various times in our lives.  BUT building resilience can help you to maintain a positive outlook when facing an uncertain future⏳⏳⏳

So, the biggest question is WHY do some people seem to be better able to cope in these troubling times than others?  While everyone's situation is different, it is true that people with RESILIENCE tend to have higher tolerance for the emotional distress caused by the HARD TIMES📌📌📌

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So, in our endeavors to climb up the steep slopes, we need to realize that it will be one hell of a climb where statistics show that there are as much FAILURES as SUCCESSES.  Now, for the high level of FAILURES, what's the most common culprit?  It is the READINESS aspect that's always wanting to be addressed.  Why is READINESS the common culprit?  Studies show that a plurality have that READINESS issue not because they are uninterested but because they belittled that endeavor, thinking they can have it half the effort✅✅✅

There is one overriding quality of mind and personality that weighs more strongly than anything else in determining eventual success.  It is CHARACTER no less.  Eventual SUCCESS depends more than anything else on the ability to keep striving in the face of disappointment and rejection.  And FAILURE.  Remember the festivals with those high greasy poles where everyone is eyeing on.  BUT again, MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN.  WHY?  Because GOING UP is 1000x TIMES TOUGHER THAN GOING DOWN❗❗❗

DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' Unless.......

DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' Unless.......

YES and NO. We'll talk about HARDBALL but NO, it's NOT about baseball though.  Instead, it is to egg everyone to please DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' [in life] by default UNLESS you can mitigate the risks based on our sharing below.  The consequences when we bungle the opportunities when playing HARDBALL could be serious enough💊💊💊

Negotiations are always part and parcel of our lives.  And for less experienced negotiators, it may be tempting to try to outsmart the party across the table with clever tactics or worse, we might tend to end up CLAIMING instead of CREATING value in the negotiation.  BUT aggressive and heavy-handed ways are rarely successful, if at all💎💎💎

But I might be asked:  we are NOT trained negotiators.  SO HOW?  Here are some sound fundamentals.  First, PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME and KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.  This is very basic.  Unless you are crystal clear with what you want to achieve in that negotiation, you would likely miss out hitting the bullseye of an opportunity📌📌📌

So how exactly should you prepare?  DEFINE what you want [NOT the result].  IDENTIFY what success looks like for you so you DON'T set the bar way too low.  DEFINE your interests and your priorities [including HOW much you can trade-off when negotiating]✅✅✅

You might ask. what's the most difficult part?  It's when negotiating things that impact our relationship with our spouse/partner or loved ones and immediate family.  That becomes complicated because relationships are next to impossible just unquantifiable in $$$$ and cents.  And please consider all possible WHAT IF scenarios.  WHAT IF your spouse/parner does NOT acquiesce, what are the consequences?  And BTW, consequences covers both indirect and direct ones.  When a relationship hits rough patches, it could trigger a 'domino effect' of the consequences.  So, think about it before playing HARDBALL❗❗❗

As Good As Your LAST PERFORMANCE

As Good As Your LAST PERFORMANCE

Yesirrrrrs, this is not to scare you and cause you to fall off from your chair but here's a harsh reality in life.  You are....... As Good As Your LAST PERFORMANCE and there is NO exemption to this rule, NOT even the highest paid star players in the world of sports or within the cruel world of corporate board rooms.  The latest casualty [fresh from the newswires] now is no less than NBA Milwaukee Coach Mike Budenholder.  He was FIRED just a week after his #1 ranked team was eliminated by the #8 ranked Miami Heat📌📌📌

You can be the perennial 'A-Lister' in school for several quarters OR the top sales grosser for five straight years or the top employee for donkey years OR your business sales turnover has over-achieved its target for many years OR you have been the most effective CFO juggling the corporate finances despite the myriad of challenges you faced.  BUT UNTIL WHEN❓❓❓

That is the HARSHEST reality ever in life.  You CAN'T rest on your laurels.  You CAN'T remain at the top of the totem pole via the status quo.  You CAN'T dream of being etched on the HALL of FAME because the way to reach that far is, to borrow the NBA jargon, you got to be a GOAT [be the GREATEST PLAYER of ALL TIME]❗❗❗

This poster is spot on, defining GOOD as SOMEONE WHO GETS THE JOB DONE.  If I may add, 'OVER & OVER AGAIN'.  If there's the slightest gap or shortfall, or even a blimp, that's it, you're out of the running💎💎💎

Our key takeaways for today?  BE ON YOUR TOES EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.  Moreover, your 5-star performances should be consistent.  This is much tougher than the F1 Formula Race.  WHY?  Because in life, there is NO PIT STOP, NO timeouts, NO respites, nothing, nada.  WHY?  Because you're ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST PERFORMANCE, dude✅✅✅

[Like It Or Not] Turn Things Up A Notch

[Like It Or Not] Turn Things Up A Notch

Let's look back to your past.  Have you been in those 'deep s____' situations when and where your back was against the wall?  Oh, I'll volunteer to raise my hands because I'VE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, whew.   And those were situations I'd like to look back to reinforce my self motivation [to keep me goin' till now] but situations I dread to face all over again.  No man, no way.  So, how did I do it.  I had to Turn Things Up A Notch⏳⏳⏳

After we graduate from university, that's the time we take our plunge into the job market  At that point, we're at ENTRY-LEVEL and during the job interviews, even if we're asked a hundred times with interrogatives like ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THIS or THAT, a hundred times we'll willfully nod and agree.  BUT do you know that many of us do get stuck up at that ENTRY-LEVEL mindset even after years at work❓❓❓

It should NOT be the case though.  Even within the baseball diamond field, you CAN'T remain at the first base on your choice.  You've got to 'move your ass' [pardon this for lack of a better word] as otherwise, your next teammate is about to move up in the sequence of plays.  Such is the case NOT just in baseball but in life.  Eventually, you got to UP THE ANTE and there's no other option💎💎💎

How often do we ever challenge ourselves because we feel life has got to be more interesting?  THAT you need a 'SHAKE UP' because it's just so dull and you're NOT making the most of your life?  Yesirrrrrs we all have days like that.  Maybe you sit there and count your blessings.  Or you start to scribble a note of gratitude and thankfulness to remind yourself.  Try it [for those who never thought of this].  That thorny question of making life more interesting?  WHAT can we doto make life more FUN, more of an adventure?  Especially when you DON'T have much money to spare or maybe those very recent pandemic years when we're NOT so mobile much as we want to.  WHY not challenge ourselves a CHANGE THAT DELIVERS?  One way of ensuring that we are resilient enough to cope with the STRESS of CHANGE is to get used to CHANGE.  Just like vaccination.  We get immune to stress📌📌📌

One way of ensuring we are resilient enough to cope with the stress of change is to get used to change by challenging ourselves to change.  Doing a challenge literally changes our world because it changes the way we think.  Be like this boy at the goal post, So, let's practice and embrace challenges for us to TURN THINGS UP A NOTCH❗❗❗

You Can Lead A Horse To Water BUT........

You Can Lead A Horse To Water BUT........

No sirrrrrs. our thread today is NOT related to animal science but still in life, You Can Lead A Horse To Water BUT that's about it.  You CAN'T force the horse to drink at all.  Very much true in our life, wherein we can raise our kids the rightful way, with the correct core values, instill the discipline we want, share our best practices in life and do all the cajoling till you eventually dig deep in your perseverance and eventually, leave things to fate, how things will shape up.  Indeed, a painful experience for us when we have squeezed ourselves high and dry only to end up with outcome and results that fall short of what we want to achieve

Indeed very very true.  Either as a parent OR as a leader OR as a teacher/mentor OR even as an entrepreneur [for your own business], you can infuse and pour out all your wisdom and inputs to your child, your students, your team members, your employees/workers.  But exasperation and frustration creeps in when those outcomes you expected NEVER happened.  WHY?  Because all along, we STILL expected that You Can Lead A Horse To Water ... and let it drink too❓❓❓

So WHAT's worth dissecting are the root causes as to why, as much as we impart our wisdom and shared lessons, the end result[s] DON'T seem to match our expectations?  First answer here is that you got to RESET EXPECTATIONS.  For all we [DON'T] know, we took the wrong first step when we falsely raised our expectations that our 'protege' or 'student' will end up based on our expectations.  Besides that pitfall of falsely RAISED EXPECTATIONS, the second aspect is quiete tough.  Likely, we were NOT 'IN SYNC' with our protege or student insofar as self-motivation and absorbing the wisdom and lessons we imparted.  If your protege or student is NOT 'IN STEP' with you in terms of drive and motivation, there is a very high likelihood that both of you will end up in different pages.  The worst nightmare here is that by the time you will become aware of the huge gap between your EXPECTATIONS versus OUTCOMES, you're done with your mentoring📌📌📌

Of course we DON'T want to end up, us ending up as forced to drink instead of the horse, right?  But that is the harsh TRUTH in life.  Sometimes, because of our OVER-HYPED expectations for the outcomes.  Lesson is, let us NOT ram through the throats of others regardless if they are our kids, our students, our team members or workers/employees in our commercial initiatives✅✅✅

So what should we do?  Let us sharpen like pencils whoever we are training, molding or mentoring, sharp enough to approximately end up close to our expectations.  And while OPTIMISM is laudable, temper that OPTIMISM with REALITY.  In that way, you will NOT fall flat with your face on the ground.  Just DON'T forget that You Can Lead A Horse To Water BUT...... you CAN'T LET HIM DRINK❗❗❗

Are You Worth Your Salt?

Are You Worth Your Salt?

Are You Worth Your Salt?  Sadly, this seems to be an irrelevant question because everyone values him/herself unilaterally, based on his/her own algorithm or as simple as arithmetic.  Two decades back when I signed off to the job offer from one of the biggest global bank, the then 'top gun' of the commercial banking group asked me 'WHAT AM I BRINGING TO THE TABLE?'.  And without mincing words and NOT even batting an eyelash, I told him straight to his eyes that I am bringing VALUE for MONEY.  THAT I deserve the job offer they tendered⏳⏳⏳

A most common scenario is the job market where your MARKET VALUE is an estimation of HOW MUCH you should be earning based on your job title, years of experience, skills and even location.  Doing some research to determine your WORTH before walking into a salary negotiation can help you get the outcome [and INCOME] you want.  BTW, these days, you can go to MICHAEL PAGE or KELLY and request for their country-specific SALARY GUIDE.  BTW, what you can't find in those SALARY GUIDES will be your INTANGIBLES [as all those can only come from you]💎💎💎

Now, WHAT's your PRICEPOINT?  Frankly, that is a tough question because you DON'T get the answer on-the-fly straight from the ceiling.  You need to sit down and run a thorough SELF-ASSESSMENT of each of your INTANGIBLES before you run a SELF-VALIDATION to ensure that you DON'T end up with rubbish INTANGIBLES📌📌📌

Yes, we can compare ourselves to that gladiator who, before being deployed at the battle front, he gets assessed if he is WORTH HIS SALT.  Quite a letdown but many of us tend to end up with PRICEPOINTs whose MARKUPS do NOT seem to be commensurate to one's capabilities [and that includes the INTANGIBLES].  One time when my previous company was bidding for the project management services of one of India's biggest banks, they established a pricing baseline.  Unfortunately, they cannot get embedded in the sales proposal the services that can justify the bid price.  NOT until they pasted and embedded my credentials into the proposal.  Voila, the proposal was signed off✅✅✅

Oh yes, there are no mathematical equations to be solved here.  It's all the X's and O's and as a candidate with a VALUE-based proposition, we DON'T need to get into rocket science because as long as you CHECK ALL THE BOXES, then you're good to go.  BUT if you are the hollowed proposal with the weighing scale NOT tipping in your favor, you can easily be THROWN UNDER THE BUS.  You're TOAST. BUT not to despair as long as you never miss the benchmarking question:  ARE YOU WORTH YOUR SALT❓❓❓

How Far Is Success From Failure

How Far Is Success From Failure

There is this age-old fallacy that there is a huge differentiation between SUCCESS and FAILURE.  And I'll be the first one to shoot down that fallacy because in real life, SUCCESS and FAILURE are siamese twins.  WHY?  Every time we initiate and commence our journey, we all emanate from the same starting point.  There's even no way to distinguish from where we all start because in life, there is PARITY at the take-off points.  I DON'T buy that crap that someone started off with a handicapping advantage.  So, the question is: How Far Is Success From Failure📌📌📌

And this is where most of us end up falling prey to fallacies.  Instead, what is expected from us is to be absolutely clear on our CHOICES we need to make everyday.  Most of us have good ideas as to what we need to be doing to keep us ON TRACK toward our goals.  Yet many of us have been side-tracked [me included in the past]⏳⏳⏳

Instead of getting dejected, let's face it.  Everyone of us did commit dumb choices in the past.  We commit dumb mistakes that eventually led us to that FAILURE at some point.  And NOT to scare you, those slip-ups are bound to happen AGAIN.  So. what's our hard lesson here?  It is to minimize our FAILURES by coming up with good decisions as we trek down that tricky road to SUCCESS💎💎💎

One most common mistake we commit is to measure our SUCCESS by other people's standards.  If some of your classmates ended up with degrees from the Ivy League in the U.S., ask yourself, ARE YOU ON THE SAME LEAGUE❓❓❓

Thereafter, let TRUTH guide you in your decisions.  A safe roadmap for making good choices should NEVER deviate from your personal values.  Those choices have to come from deep within and speak your TRUTH.  When you know you are truly are and what your TRUTH is, choices are easier to make based on how you naturally behave and see the world on the basis of those values and beliefs, and NOT someone's else.  Remember, SUCCESS is just next to FAILURE.  One misstep, you're toast✅✅✅

You May Get Away But Are You Really Free?

You May Get Away But Are You Really Free?

You May Get Away But Are You Really Free?  Oh NO sirrrrrrs, today's piece is neither about crime nor action pictures.  Instead, we'd like to highlight situational aspects in life where we're either legitimately entitled to GET AWAY or even those situations when it becomes circumstantial for us to GET AWAY even if it's NOT on our own volition.   Let's start off with responsibilities we own NOT by choice but as a natural obligation.  Heard of folks who turned their backs from their responsibilities, [wrongly] thinking that they can just GET AWAY with it?  Or those who end up causing affliction, casualty or impairment only to GET AWAY from responsibilities?💎💎💎

And do we remember instances in the past where a responsibility has fallen on our lap and even with apprehension and FEAR, we just DON'T even have that singular option to OPT OUT?  Example of which is taking care of a parent at an advanced age and if that parent falls ill, you have NO choice but to do the needful?  Another very common mix-up is ACCOUNTABILITY versus RESPONSIBILITY.  Understanding and differentiating these two situations can help us avoid getting into a MIX-UP.  To clear up, ACCOUNTABILITY entails your actions and their effects while RESPONSIBILITY includes efficiently completing tasks you're required📌📌📌
 

Like it or NOT, we got to develop that differentiation because there have been zillion operational problems at the workplace because of the blurred [OR worst, incorrect] understanding of it.  So while ACCOUNTABILITY occurs after a serious situation or problem arises and HOW someone responds to the issue that determines the outcome⏳⏳⏳

Whereas RESPONSIBILITY has broader coverages.  The family's 'HEAD of the FAMILY' carries the heaviest burden on one's shoulder.  Heard of HEAD of a family who simply GOT AWAY?  But did that make him FREE?  Literally, YES but surely, he can have sleepless nights✅✅✅

Our insight for today?  While we can enjoy all our freedom, there are those limitations and constraints ESPECIALLY those turfs or areas where, on our own volition, we stepped in.  Those are the ONE-WAY roads where there is no turning back, NOT because of force or coercion but because of responsibilities one [by default] embraces once he/she steps into an AREA of RESPONSIBILITY.  Lesson here is that sometimes YOU MAY GET AWAY BUT ARE YOU REALLY FREE❓❓❓