The Circle of Life

The Circle of Life                                                              

The Circle of Life, yesirrrrrrs, that's the vicious cycle where we are ALL trapped, sometimes to our dismay, and worse, to our consternation.  And this life-long tale of travails from the time you graduate from the university.  You then start to set your goals [which is very laudable and natural to happen].  AND then you join the fray, plunging into the job market, selling yourself to the employers [and sometimes realizing that your credentials in that CV/Resume is that endemic, short and thin, but that's fine because you are effectively a raw product at that point in time📌📌📌

AND finally after rounds of interviews, with innocent and naive alacrity, you signed off the first job offer tendered on you [rather than take that riskier tack of comparing apples-to-apples and signing off ONLY that 'best offer'.  But again, that's just rational, logical and it made sheer sense.  I acted exactly that way during my early years but many years back, I always had an 'ace in my sleeve'

There was a difference though, even those times I was very 'RAW' in life.  In anything I aspire for, it was either I'm angling for a fallback or just a 'safety net' if things go awry.  So, twice very early in my life, I went through the job interview rounds and hurdled one interview after another till H.R. tenders a job offer for me.  And twice I passed off those juicy job offers and instead, twice I successfully referred my best friend [from way back].  Lo and behold, twice my best friend did impress the HR folks and they ended up extending the same job offer to him [which they originally offered me]

Fast-forward, when you felt that you have reached that 'auto pilot' altitude in life, you start about planning your personal life ahead, settling down, starting off your family.  But HOLD ON.  Heard of things getting stalled?  WHEN suddenly, you find yourself in a state of stupor?  WHEN you realize albeit belatedly, how come you didn't achieve the progressive strides the past years.  WHEN you realized of late that there was hardly material progress in you three to five years ago versus today?  If you are a migrant, you would realized that your 'immigration status' has NOT materially improved from yesteryears versus to date❓❓❓

Obviously lessons will always be learned.  But what's the dilemma of most of us?  We wrongly believe that with LESSONS LEARNED, we get absolved for our shortfalls and lapses?  NO sirrrrrrrs.  There is one thing you cannot recoup and that's TIME.  If you wasted precious years and ending up missing up to 'materially/significantlyu' improving your own lot, you got trapped in the CIRCLE of LIFE and you gotta wiggle from that trap📗📙📘

When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

Life is very much akin to that sailboat ready to sail off as the waters out there seem so CALM and SERENE.  That's how we start off with our life.  At the onset, life is so alluring, so enticing and so tempting such that we can't wait to really sail off to the high seas, with ourselves all buckled up and equipped with all the safety and protective gears.  But hold on, who promised us that life will be akin to a consistently smooth sailing from the time you set off from the wharf?  No sirrrrs, the high seas may not show up neither the dreaded whales nor the unforeseen cataclysmic weather conditions⏳⏳⏳

But no sirrrrs, as we would witness out there in the wide open seas, risks abound all over the immense sheets of waters.  Enough of the 'horror stories' but we all have heard of boats that sailed off but were never seen nor heard to have returned safely to the wharf.  WHY?  Because such is life, once you set out there, you are on your own. Until  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat

Not until  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat when you will realize that probably, that's the BEGINNING of the END, that dreaded tragic end when you feel you're very much helpless as you are on your own.  Suddenly, while you're sending SOS signals, you would play catch up throw out the waters that keep seeping into the boat, my God📌📌📌

And when the boat starts to capsize, that's exactly your predicament once you would suffer a spate of setbacks, farther pushing you back three steps back once you move forward by a step.  Net result?  It means you suffered two setbacks for every step you move forward.  And when this hits us in life, this DOESN'T mean we're getting stalled.  Instead, we are moving backwards.

So,  When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat, what do you do next?  First off, you got to pour it out, squeezing every ounce of grit and energy you can exert.  And be forewarned that for every ounce of effort you pour out, your probability of surviving that struggle will only go up if you increase by notches your effort   When More Water Seeps Into Your Boat📗📕📘

DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task

DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task

Is there a difference between DOING A Task Versus OWNING A Task?  Yesirrrs there's an ocean-wide of a difference to such extent that outcomes and results were influenced and decided on either by those simply DOING A TASK versus those who took OWNERSHIP of the TASK

Take the innocent kids.  Assign them a task, they would take it on no doubt.  When they 'hit a wall', your guess is as good as mine.  Likely that kid left the task hanging up in the air.  WHY?  Simple, they were just DOING A Task and NOT OWNING A Task.  So, today's piece is not even all about stuff happening at the workplace.  BTW, this is all about the life we live, the life we push, the life we thought we are so doggedly determined to bring us to success.

So, this is not about the kids even when they are seemingly tireless.  Instead, this is all about us, adults, because a plurality [supposedly] of us adults are assumed to be MATURE ENOUGH not just to take on a task but to OWN it.  And why are we harping that we should OWN tasks and NOT just DOING it?  It's because only by OWNING a task will carry us through.

In the yesteryears of our ancestors and forefathers, have we heard about EVENT ORGANIZERS?  Nada.  Nothing.  Zilch.  But swing over to today, why is it the businesses of EVENT ORGANIZERS are considerably on the upswing and unabatedly, it continues to skyrocket?  Simple.  The EVENT ORGANIZERS are proven to OWN a task, that's besides DOING the task itself.  But other than that, between us and them, it really doesn't matter

Now, if the naysayers would stand up and allege that I'm making a mountain of a molehill, I'm sorry I'm NOT and I DON'T.  A lot of failures were doomed from the very start because there was NO ownership of the task[s] at hand.  Many successes basked in the limelight because that SENSE of OWNERSHIP was there, consistently📌📌📌

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?

Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday?  Oh Oh Oh, why not?  I'd love it.  Surely everyone will love it.  But is this indeed realistic?  Or are we simply daydreaming?  Yes, I think so.  This is no less than a figment of our 'creative' imagination but for multifarious reasons, in an ideal world, this is the best thing that should ever happen to mankind.  So, let's roll up our sleeves and challenge ourselves to figure out if this is feasible in the first place, if at all.  Otherwise, we'll be better off to throw this off the window.  No time for nonsense here.

Yesirrrrs this is NOT a pipedream.  We all can crystallize anything that seems vague and ambiguous into a concrete plan of action.  But before we take that plunge, can we agree as to why we're all angling for Christmas to be Everyday?  Oh, there's that christmas spirit which we hardly feel in any other month.  And how's the people's moods? Why is it most of us seem on a HIGH NOTE?

Meanwhile, how can things be so contagious during Christmas?  Even camels seem everywhere whereas most of mankind seem to share an outgoing spirt, that same GIVING spirit. BTW, conflicts and even wars are everywhere.  But can we explain that phenomenon?  My [unproven] theory tells me that it so happens that most companies would fork out the christmas bonuses by December, and that bolsters our pockets no less.

 But not to be a 'kill joy', I really HATE it if what puts people in the good mood and that 'christmas  spirit' is all because of financials?  That's pitiful indeed.  While $$$$$$ is a catalyst to trigger many good things in life, we CAN't just be dependent on $$$$$$.  What has $$$$$$ has got to do with the robustness of one's relationship? $$$$$$ should not even be a variable of the equation because once the 'oil wells dry up', surely our adrenalin will skid down faster than the speed of light.  After all, while we are realistic enough that NOT all relationships are plotted to endure the couple's lifetime, it still can. right ?

Thing is, we can say what we want but $$$$$$ is NOT the guarantee that year-round we'll be in that 'christmas spirit' everyday.  We DON'T even need those $$$$$$.  We can live a spartan life and still call it one hell of a ride because we could have managed to weather through all our trials and tribulations.  So, can we all sing in union and hope that indeed,  it is not far fetch for us to hope that one day, that 'christmas spirit' reverberates across the year.  So, Why Can't Christmas Be Everyday❓❓❓

When REALITY Kicks In

When REALITY Kicks In

When does REALITY kick in?  Here's a story I got from Gaia L. posted in Quora.com.  A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.  They find a deserted cabin and take shelter.  They find a sleeping bag, a bed and a pile of blankets.  The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.  As they get tucked in for the night, the nun calls out 'FATHER FATHER I'M COLD'.  So the priest gets up and puts another blanket on the nun.  "IS THAT BETTER SISTER?" he asked.  "YES FATHER, MUCH BETTER" she replies.  So he gets back in his sleeping bad and starts to nod off when she again calls out "FATHER I'M STILL COLD". 

So once again the priest gets up and puts another blanket on her, ensuring she is tucked into the bed well. IS THAT BETTER SISTER? he asked.  "OH YES FATHER, THAT'S MUCH BETTER" she says. So the priest gets himself back into the sleeping bag and this time is just starting  to dream when he wakes up with her call "FATHER FATHER I'M STILL SO COLD".  The priest thinks long about this and finally says "SISTER, WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN A BLIZZAR.  NO ONE BUT YOU, MYSELF AND THE LORD HIMSELF WILL EVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENS HERE THIS NIGHT.  HOW ABOUT JUST FOR THIS NIGHT, WE ACT AS THOUGH WE ARE MARRIED?"  

The nun thinks on this for a minute, she can't help but admit to herself she's been curious and finally answers "OK FATHER, JUST FOR TONIGHT WE WILL ACT AS THOUGH WE ARE MARRIED".  so the Father replies "GET UP AND GET YOUR OWN DAMND BLANKET YA COW" and rolls over to sleep, whew.

Truth is, when REALITY STRIKES in our life, there's no other way but TO FACE THE MUSIC.  If suddenly your academic ratings in school unabatedly skid, there's no other way but to arrest that skid.  If at work, you have been fumbling at work and finally the dreaded H.R. disciplinary action gets imposed on you, you got to FACE THE MUSIC.  it's either you SHAPE UP or get SHIPPED OUT.  If your relationship has been turmoil over time and it's getting from bad to worse to worst, FIX IT ASAP, as in ASAP because once reality kicks in, you just DON'T lick your wounds.

And BTW, when REALITY STRIKES, don't slow down and [wrongly] think that you're OVER THE HUMP??? Because quite sometimes, REALITY STRIKES AGAIN and AGAIN.  When that spate of strikes cause you to end up in black and blue, that is likely the last reprieve you can receive to attempt resuscitating your situation, if not your life.  I can attest to having witnessed people fall flat on their face but they were seemingly twiddling their fingers hoping that their woes will simply dissipate in thin air and that's all they need to do, JUST WAIT?  My God, WILL YOU WAIT [again] FOR REALITY TO KICK-IN❓❓❓

Time Heals

Time Heals

Does Time REALLY Heal those wounds?  It's of the most unhelpful cliches you can pull out when speaking with a grieving person, right up there with "IT'S ALL PART OF GOD's PLAN".  Then again, there is a bit of truth in plenty of unhelpful sayings and over time, tons and tons of researches have proven to attest to the healing nature of time.  For most of us, after probably a year or more has lapsed, those symptoms of acute grief would have lessened.

But hold on though.  Although I am a firm believer that TIME HEALS, sometimes things actually get WORSE before they get BETTER.  You can ask around, those who have suffered a significant loss in the past.  Likely, they will confide to you that the initial SHOCK & PAIN, while agonizing, wasn't a most difficult time for them. 

That may come weeks or even months later when the REALITY of LIFE without a loved one begins to set in.  The sense that you can never ever speak with that person again, neevr touch them, hear their voice or feel the unique way you did with them, has begun to sink in.  We can even stretch the metaphor of grief as a wound.  Horror and disbelief courses through you in the seconds after you receive a bad cut or when you break a bone but the pain only sets in later once the numbness of shock fades.

Truth is, even in the long run, time DOESN'T actually improve matters for some of us.  Heard about 'COMPLICATED GRIEF' for people whose grief symptoms are still acute.  They become stuck in mourning.  NOT wanting to accept the reality of the loss of strong feelings attached.  The DENIAL of LOSS that creates a powerful impact.  The intensity of a LOSS that is compounded by traumatic circumstances.  NOT wanting to let go of the pain because of a betrayal of the feelings for the lost loved one.  NOT having a safe place with whom to process the loss in that forever-changed world.

Fact is, TIME GOES REALLY REALLY SLOWLY when you're hurting.  Remember if you were hospitalized before and you notice how painfully time moves SO SLOWLY when you're stuck in the hospital?  Or when you've got that recurring migraine and you're waiting for that painkiller to kick in?  The same rule applies when you're in an emotional agony.  "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS"  is like a slap on your face when minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days and the days just seem to drag, you start to question and doubt if the calendar is moving at all?  So, indeed, TIME HEALS but NO SINGLE SIZE FITS ALL because there are multifarious factors that will either drag or accelerate your healing.  What's our FIX?  Keep that FOCUS in your healing process💊💊💊

Does Lightning Strike Twice?

Does Lightning Strike Twice?

Is this a MYTH or not?  Does Lightning Strike Twice? Unfortunately, many of us still get succumbed to the original adage that Lightning Strikes Once.  But man, times are damn tougher than what even our forefathers have forewarned us.  Who would have thought that life will be easier [and cozier] after the world war, after the holocaust, after the Korean War or even after the Kuwait and Iraq Wars?  Not until Uncle Sam bamboozled Saddam Hussein !!!

Enough of history though.  I can volunteer myself.  Did lightning strike me more than once?  Absolutely.  During that global recession which hit hard all markets, I ended up jobless twice.  When the Asian Financial Crisis caused all the Asian economies to go down the drain, I did end up in the drain as well.  And as a result of the domino effect of those cataclysmic events, even my credit card bills ballooned to levels way beyond my capacity such that I had to negotiate with my banker.  Indeed, those were hard times.

At the workplace, long time ago, workers taught that the bosses may reprimand them maybe once in years but hey, if you are that mediocre at work, if you need to be reprimanded twice, you will bear the brunt of all the consequences.  But hey, the good thing is that lightning may NOT happen for the third or fourth time because on your third infraction, you can bet you will be due for a formal HR disciplinary action or worst, do expect to receive that dreaded PINK SLIP. 

Let's swing over to our relationships with our spouse/loved one or our immediate family. Those family feuds do happen.  Those couple quarrels happen.  Till things worsen and people mutually decide to part ways.  Then the ugly head surfaces.  Then we all end up in that vicious cycle where tiffs lead to quarrels till it worsens till no amount of FIX is feasible anymore.

S

So what's our FIX?  Once you get hit by that lightning, treat it as the FINAL ALARM.  When a breakup happens followed by that 'hard earned' reconciliation, DON'T ever wait for the last straw that will hit the camel's back.  These days, you must NOT even wait for that lightning to hit you even for the first time because for all you know, you'll be unable to pick up tje pieces again once lightning strikes twice📗📕📘

Only YOU Yourself OWNS Your HAPPINESS

 Only YOU Yourself OWNS Your HAPPINESS

This is confusing.  H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S is one of the most common word ever even for non-bilinguals.  Yet, the perplexing question is this:  WHY IS IT MANY PEOPLE STILL FIND HAPPINESS TO BE THAT ELUSIVE ???Yesirrrrs, once and for all, please grab our title for today's piece:  Only YOU Yourself OWNS Your HAPPINESS

Let's swing over to the millions of couples in the world.  Except for those who are either divorced or those who [literally] live their own lives [separately], ALL couples live based on the same standards.  Their R&R may not be that identical as the guy goes to the golf course whereas the wifey goes for shopping.  But over and above, they are on the same bandwidth, on the same page.

In truth and in fact, most couples would share more commonalities than differences.  Whether it means living a high-wired life or living a modest life or even living life in austerity or worst in a Spartan-like manner, most couples should be on that same page.  Yet, it is NOT uncommon to hear tandems of a either a HAPPY wifey-UNHAPPY hubby or vice-versa, an UNHAPPY wifey-HAPPY hubby.  WHY? 

So, in most-most cases, if we're living a HAPPY life or UNHAPPY life, it's either to our credit that we are HAPPY or to our burden why we are UNHAPPY.  DON'T blame neither the economy nor the government.  If at all, redirect that pointing fingers to you yourself because if you seem UNHAPPY, likely it's because you did that hole where you are NOW trapped.  Where you're on a high note, credit yourself for being on top of things.

At the end of the day, you are the sole master of your DESTINY whether you will be able to [eventually] achieve that HAPPINESS that seems elusive.  BTW, even Mr Webster or Mr GOOGLE does NOT have standard definitions of HAPPY or even UNHAPPINESS.  Why?  It's because Only YOU yourself OWNS your HAPPINESS📌📌📌

BEWARE, Christmas Is Coming

 BEWARE, Christmas Is Coming

What an irony indeed.  What can explain us titling today's "BEWARE" piece when in fact Christmas is coming?  With Christmas just around the corner,  I just thought I'll borrow some of these relevant posters from my banker as it issues out alerts to the majority of the unsuspecting customer base.  As much as it is the festive season, this is when scammers and fraudsters will ramp up and go full throttle because by now, most of us are overwhelmed with all the goings-on all over the place while our wallets have slightly got fatter [albeit in fleeting ways though].

Sadly, there are isolated segments across our global village wherein their intent is more evil than the normal evil we have come to know in the past  From last week's news, a bank Chinese bank depositor filed a legal complaint against her banker because although she is NOT using online banking at all, her bank record details show that one million pesos was gobbled up from her account balance.  To think that most of us worked hard [with all the sweat and sacrifices] to come up with those savings.

Not to dampen the spirit of this Christmas Season, let us continue to be VIGILANT.  How can we be VIGILANT?  By being constantly CAUTIOUS without being CYNICAL, we need to PAUSE before hitting the CLICK button whenever various electronic alerts will prompt us.  The harsh reality here is that these scammers and fraudsters are MANY STEPS ahead of us when it comes to their tricks up in their sleeves.  And they're damn smarter than us when it pertains to their 'DIRTY TRICKS'.  WHEN they send an SMS alert to ostensibly warn you that there is a potential breach to your account.  WHEN they purportedly alert you that there was a failed attempt to breach your account but which they thwarted.

How do we counter EVIL INTENT?  Tough nut to crack, dude.  Many times, cataclysmic events did happen and when it happens, the best we can eevr do is to CONTAIN it.  But that's NOT enough though.  Pre-emptive measures are necessary to shield us from all these EVIL INTENT.  WHEN one receives an ALERT call from an anonymous party, be suspecting.  WHEN one receives an SMS alert, be suspicious.  WHEN one gets lured to some 'GOOD NEWS' but such requires you to 'CLICK A LINK' to proceed, FORGET IT !

Thing is, when we are into a situation, we must be able to CALL A SPADE A SPADE.  There should be NO room for interpretation or worst, speculative ways to assess the validity of a message alert.  Going back to this Festive Season of the upcoming Christmas, let us be constantly on the SAFE side of things.  Risks will popped up LEFT and RIGHT.  And we can't obliterate those risks because they are very much part of the landscape we live in.  What is expected from us is to MITIGATE RISKS but that's not too much to ask from us📌📌📌

Is BREAKTHROUGH A Myth Or Reality?

Is BREAKTHROUGH A Myth Or Reality?

Is BREAKTHROUGH A Myth Or Reality?  Hard to buy this but I can attest that I've met people who cling that any BREAKTHROUGH is just a MYTH.  To them, it's all fated.  If it's for you, then it comes.  And if you're not fated, that ain't coming.  Ouchhhh.  If I need to roll up my sleeves and get into a slugfest of a debate, I am more than willing to jump into it.

As early as my high school days, I was looking as far down as the road I'll trek [even if I can't visualize that road.  I recall when I saved a bit of my daily allowances, my very FIRST SPEND was a book about CAREERs, detailing all possible jobs from archaeologists to geologists down to being an aircraft  At that point in my life, I was so raw and as naive as any upstart from the countryside.  But rather than get me tied with life in the countryside, I [secretly] plotted my plans to take the plunge in the wide metro capital, Manila that is.

At that point, whilst I knew there was that invincible glass ceiling, I told myself that I wanna break that glass ceiling.  NOT now.  But I will, in the future.  But hold on.  I didn't end up as an archaeologist or even a proud pilot.  Nope.  NOT because I failed.  But because I never wanted to be either.

But let's admit it, success is not for anyone's picking. That unpalatable combination of sweat + sacrifices is what will gradually [NOT instantly though] lead you towards that path to success.  But NOT to weaken the 'lesser hearted',  the path towards that elusive success point will be littered not just with potholes but planted mines that will blow-up right on you once you mis-step unto it.  Fact is, life is NO walk in the park [regardless if you were born with a silver spoon or you come from an indigent past.

Fast forward, what do we envision in our life?  Surely, you want to live the life you dreamed of.  Travelling.  Surfing.  Enjoying your habits and interests.  Living life with your loved ones nary of those nagging problems that would wreak havoc in our lives.  So, if you would ask me again if BREAKTHROUGH is a Myth Or Reality?  I'll rest my case by asking you to throw that MYTH out in the window💹💹💹