Optics Matter

Optics Matter

Today's piece has got nothing to do with optical or optometrists but instead, let's discuss about as to why in our life, why does Optics Matter.  What people see.  How they see it.  What happens right before their eyes.  How things transpire right in our naked eyes.  All those are inputs which people will draw out before they arrive at conclusions and judgments.  Truth is, many times, the conclusions and judgments of people about us could either be wrong, skewed, slanted or altogether wrong but do we fault and blame them when in real life, Optics Matter.  And what they can bear witness, what they saw and the can attest with their naked eyes all will lead towards one's conclusion.

We all agree that for visions less than 20/20, things are blurry not until they wear those indispensable spectacles.  So we can't blame people once they get to be bespectacled, things become crystal clear and and once they draw conclusions, trust me, that gets embedded and cast in stone. All because Optics Matter.

And even from afar. people can draw conclusions, no thanks to those binoculars.  I really cannot blame people from sometimes ending up with conclusions that are less than 100% accurate. Why?  Because we acted in ways that drew a different perspective.  Because we manifested behaviors that were not aligned with what is the TRUTH.  And worst, we blurted out words that reaffirmed the very Optics which all Matters.

Now let's play scenarios.  What if we are NOT transparent.  We are NOT expressive.  We DON'T 'walk the talk'.  What if we come out vague and ambiguous?  What could be the end result?  People will still draw out conclusions and judgments about us but either they will [accurately] judge us as either vague or ambiguous OR worst, they will end up with totally inaccurate conclusions all because Optics Matter.

So, to drastically lower the probability of us being wrongly judged, be YOURSELF, be TRANSPARENT, be TRUTHFUL.  Let us NOT send 'mixed signals, saying one thing but doing another thing. Where possible, avoid words or actions where you will be misconstrued.  And for the mother of all NO-NO's, never look HAPPY when you're SAD, never look PLEASED if you're DISPLEASED because Optics Matter❗❗❗

When Things Get BAD

When Things Get BAD

No sirrrrs, we're not manifesting paranoia here but this is just to accept the harsh realities of life wherein sometimes When Things Get BAD, things can get really very UGLY.  Of course, there are outliers wherein a BAD situation sometimes does a turnaround for the better but by and large, many BAD situations really get us buried deep in the mud.  And what's the confirmed recovery rate when things turn BAD?  Oh, studies confirm it's really BAD.

If you ask me to look back those years when my situation was that BAD, I have to [sadly] admit that many things i remained stuck in the mud for quite sometime. And my woes didn't end there.  Why?  Because, things turned from BAD to WORSE [and sometimes to WORST] before I was able to extricate myself out from that treacherous mud.

Not to scare, this poster is NOT meant to scare but this is the harsh reality.  Everything really that is BAD is in effect the WORST problem.  But if it does not look WORST, it's because things have yet to turn from BAD to WORST. What's our most common mistake?  It is when we are just shrugging our shoulders when confronted with a problem.  Why?  Because many of us [wrongly] look at BAD situations as NOT THAT BAD and while positive attitudes like that are laudable, please DON'T fool yourself by just looking at the side of things when you get hit.

Think of the chameleon.  They can surface in different colors.  That's how problems can be like chameleons. Many times our problems DO NOT surface like a problem.  In fact, sometimes, problems will surface as good tidings, as good news when in fact there's nothing GOOD in it except that it appears like a chameleon.  So, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

So, what are our lifehacks for today's piece?  DON'T ignore problems.  DON'T underestimate challenges.  DON'T belittle the bumps and humps.  DON'T hope things will turn from BAD to GOOD without lifting your fingers, no sirrrrs.  DON'T be that positive to expect that BAD situations will maintain it's status quo because problems never go on a standstill.  Either things will go NORTH or SOUTH, never remain levelled.  Not wishful thinking but we hope that everyone of us will be on their toes and even 'nip in the bud' at the slightest hint that things are BAD because we DON'T want things to turn UGLY✅✅✅
 

It's YOUR CHOICE

It's YOUR CHOICE

Allow me please to quote this poster verbatim because it says a mouthful but if I were to compressed it with brevity, I'd say.... It's YOUR CHOICE.  Studies have shown that 70% of the time, what happens to our life is a consequence of OUR CHOICE[s].  You're blessed to be attending a good school because your parents chose to send you the best school possible.  If your school is not a top-tier one, it was likely your parents' choice.

Why do we hear repeating stories of drug couriers waiting for execution in Singapore or in Indonesia who are dead serious in implementing their drug laws?  Simple.  Those drug couriers ended up that way because twas their CHOICE,  Why do we hear about despicable gang rapes in India?  Likely it's because a foreigner-backpacker decided to explore India within areas which were hitherto NO MAN'S LAND even to local Indians.

When I was at the crossroads, squeeze by utter cultural shock during my first months of stay in Singapore, it was my CHOICE to be there in the first place.  And when I was struggling with the sizzling hot weather in Hyderabad, India, it was my CHOICE to be there in the first place.  For those in the lower strata of society where couples are struggling to feed countless mouths in their family, it was their CHOICE to have those out-sized families despite their daily financial woes.

All these will boil down to this triage between our THOUGHTS, our FEELINGS and our ACTIONS.  This is the vicious cycle we are all caught and squeezed in between.  And where does these all lead us to?  It's to the consequence of our CHOICE.  Desist from a thought or a feeling, I guarantee that you will be deviated from a consequence ahead.

How can we avert a doomed ending?  Let's revisit our thought processes that lead us to our CHOICEs. This is no rocket science.  It's basic and logical thinking.  Weigh down each option, compare options based on apples-to-apples, then take on that option that ends up with the upper hand.  NEVER decide based on impulses and emotion because it is really YOUR CHOICE❗❗❗

How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?

How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?

Is this worth our 'talking point' today? How difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things? Supposedly this is a non-issue because it is jaw-dropping to hear us not being able to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things but trust me, this is not an evolving story but instead, this is a story that gets to repeat itself over and over again.  Look around.  Could be your close coterie of friends.  Could be your relatives.  Could be your business associates.  Look around.  You'll be surprised to see some of us struggling to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE things.

C'mon, let's clear up this murky situation. Do we really have a problem to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?  Or is the issue more of figuring things out if we are in control or NOT?  WHAT IF as a student, your academic performance is going down on a spiral?  WHAT IF at the workplace, you have been called for repeated one-on-one's?

Let's sneak into the airplane cockpit.  Did we notice that regardless of the number of times the svelte and alluring flight attendants would knock and walk-in to the cockpit, the pilots remain as 'cool as a cucumber', so focused in the multifarious tasks they are performing and/or monitoring.  What makes them very revered and respected?  It's simply because they have proven they can FOCUS on any and all of the CONTROLLABLE Things.

Whereas, once the pilot senses that he is losing control of any of the triggers and/or events within the behavior of the airplane, the more they will deep-dive to dissect and figure out why previously CONTROLLABLE Things now look seemingly UNCONTROLLABLE.  But when do things get murkier?  It is when we non-pilots suddenly seem to have our life going down on a spiral simply because we are losing FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things

Now, do we feel overwhelmed sometimes?  C'mon, we got to FOCUS on the CONTROLLABLEs.   First off, we need to realize that we live in a 'VUCA' world a world full of VOLATILITY, UNCERTAINTY, COMPLEXITY and AMBIGUITY.  For entrepreneurs,, the business landscape is just too volatile and increasingly competitive and over the long term, it may be unpredictable.  It may seem on the surface to be a hostile landscape for anyone who wishes to start or build a business as there are so many shifting variables.  So, let's not believe that it is that difficult to focus on controllable things, NOT AT ALL❗❗❗

The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU

The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU

Question:  Do you know The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU?  Surely you would quickly blurt out, 'OF COURSE'.  But in reality, many of us DO NOT know as to what is our BEST VERSION.  And why do we not know our BEST VERSION? Easy.  Because we really DON'T care.  We just DON'T give it a damn.  Why?  Because we are so cocky and confident that we know our BEST VERSION

But honestly, many of us are oblivious of our BEST VERSION because whatever we are at the very moment, we will [falsely] claim that we already know our very own BEST VERSION but this is detestable.  If we [wrongly] know as to what is our BEST VERSION, how can we ever improve ourselves by a notch or two when we are, seriously, fooling ourselves, falsely believing that we are that good, that perfect, that too optimized and efficient no less❓❓❓

So, what else do we expect from ourselves if we are so drowned and damn impressed that indeed we are now at our BEST VERSION.  I've seen students in the past who were garnering honors and the parents never got tired appreciating their children.  And that led the poor children to think that they can just sit on their laurels.  So what and where do they end up?  Before they will realize it, they would be likely become the laggards in the rat race, eating the dust of the leaders .  Indeed, what a sad turnaround of things.

Oh, when you realize that you are already at your BEST VERSION, what else will motivate you?  Nada, nothing, zilch.  But the sadder fact about that kind of plight is the fact that the person didn't really mean to be at the doldrums but not to his choice, he is savoring the moments when he would hear that he is that good.  So, why do success stories quickly turn around into classic stories of collapse?  It's because people got so drunk with all the positives heaped all around him.  But did he ever validate those positives being heaped on him?  Hell no.  That's our dilemma, seriously.  We want to see and hear what we want while turning blind on everything else.

As everyone wants to become the BEST VERSION of themselves. but few actually do it.  We're our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that's filled with passion and purpose.  Some of us even end up as self-destructive without realizing it, and others are conscious of the fact but lack the tools or knowledge in order to improve.  But no matter who you are, find your BEST VERSION

False Positives in Life

False Positives in Life

Supposedly, life is so simple, just X's and O's, nothing more nothing less. But alas, our life is such a topsy-turvy thing because that's when the inverted and the reversals would show its tail, further confusing us as to what is TRUE or what is FALSE.  And this is where False Positives in Life would creep in.  BTW, before we get waylaid with a 'to and fro' discussion, let us agree what False Positives really mean.

While there is certainly something to be said for having a sunny disposition in life, it's also possible to to overdose on the sickeningly sweet nectar of platitudes such as 'everything is awesome'.  Now, let's tackle that 'DARK SIDE' of the positive vibes [a.k.a. toxis positivity] and ow its overuse causes harm and leads to the very suffering it aims to quash.  

American author Mark Manson, 'EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE IN LIFE IS WON THROUGH SURMOUNTING THE ASSOCIATED NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE.  ANY ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE THE NEGATIVE TO [EITHER] AVOID IT OR QUASH IT OR SILENCE IT, ONLY BACKFIRES.  He further adds that 'THE AVOIDANCE OF STRUGGLE IS A STRUGGLE and the AVOIDANCE of SUFFERING IS A FORM OF SUFFERING and THE DENIAL of FAILURE is a FAILURE and HIDING WHAT IS SHAMEFUL IS ITSELF A FORM OF SHAME.  Very well said.

At work or in school, once you get an A+ rating, does that affirm that you are that GOOD? Not necessarily.  In fact, that rating could be farther from the truth.  And that is a classic case of a False Positive.  A False Positive is a variable that tells us that what is apparent may be a fallacy, the UNTRUE.  So when someone tells you in your face that "YOU'RE AWESOME", pause for a moment and challenge its veracity. 

Of course, we won't accept ending up in the predicament of that l'il girl, sobbing at the far end corner.  We DON'T need people to sing HOSSANAHS IN THE HIGHEST to us.  Why do many populist politicians and statesmen who would see their meteoric rise in the landscape only to crash-land on Earth like a shooting star?  Blame it on their cordon sanitaire, their close retinue of blind loyalists who would heap him with all the False Positives.  BTW, that tragic end could happen in our life if we will end up contented with the False Positives in life.  That won't bring us any farther dude❗❗❗

Can't Win Them ALL

Can't Win Them ALL

Admittedly, we are a pack of humans so spoiled within our comfort zones such that everything else outside of our comfort zone is not even thinkable at all.  Not to blame ourselves, from our childhood through early adulthood, we got used to be egged and motivated by our close circle of family and friends, all forming part of the ra-rah cheering team that kept sustaining our adrenalin levels way beyond the threshold for a time longer than it can remain.  What get's missed out is that we Can't Win Them ALL.  But by the time we realize that, it comes too little too late📌📌📌

You might retort back that the fact we Can't Win Them ALL is not even a 'talking point'.  But if it is not, how come we have seen this over and over again wherein people just refused to accept defeat and failure.  Whether they are athletes. sportsmen or politicians, the aftermath will always lead to either an utter protest or a vehement rejection of the unfavorable results📙📗📘

So how can we have both our feet back firmly on the ground.  Simple,  As long as we come to the realization that we Can't Win Them ALL because such is life.  But that's the bright side of things.  The sad part is that often times, greed creeps into our life and we start to [wrongly] thought that we can still WIN THEM ALL.  However, let us NOT be like Floyd 'MoneyMan' Mayweather who, until now, firmly believes he can WIN THEM ALL.  So what did he do?  He keeps fighting anyone, even patsies, even from Martial Arts, all because he so believes that until now he can WIN THEM ALL.  But do note that whatever victories MoneyMan is claiming, those are pyrrhic victories.

BTW, even Elon Musk, who recently hit the headlines because, hold your breath, because he was disowned by his very own daughter, simply blurted "YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL".  So what's our lesson here?  Let us accept reality.  That nothing is UNLIMITED in life.  Everything is finite.  Everything has got to end.  Even the best of the best stories finally come to an end, sometimes in a bitter and heart-wrenching manner.  But here's the good thing.  Do you know that most of the time, we can avoid the pain, agony and frustration that goes along as an aftermath when our winning streak finally grinds to a halt?  Yesirrrrrrs we can avoid that very rough patch.  How?  Simply by this consistent realization and awareness that we just CAN'T WIN THEM ALL💊💊💊

BTW, here's another positive flipside.  Even assuming come next day you would [finally] lose, take value with this poster as it says SOMETIMES YOU WIN SOMETIMES YOU LEARN.  That's the sad part though when you will learn things the hard way but other than that, there is no room for griping here because after all, this is our life, this is how life goes.  You CAN'T WIN THEM ALL❗❗❗

What Wears You Down

What Wears You Down

What Wears You Down will absolutely WEAR YOU DOWN.  But that's NOT the question though.  Instead, the bigger question lurking behind us is, do we know what WEARS US DOWN?  Or are we simply oblivious and unaware of the variables in life that are indeed WEARING US DOWN?  So, what exactly WEARS US DOWN?  That's a looooooong list though if we need to run down.  Instead, let's sit down and focus on the core list of variables that seem to be WEARING you down.  Do you struggle with self-doubt and self-defeating habits?  Do you want to feel more confident about yourself?

BTW, what could be wearing you down is your EXCESS BAGGAGE.   So, the $64 question you need to ask yourself is to identify your EXCESS BAGGAGE. And the best way to start feeling better about yourself is to notice the automatic mental and emotional habits that DON'T serve you well and find more self-compassionate and life-affirming ways to think and behave.  With conscious awareness and a daily focus on changing old habits, you can begin to build new, positive emotional pathways in your brain.  Our brains possess the capacity for neuroplasticity, which means that practicing new ways of thinking.

So how do we overcome the most common barriers to feeling confident, happy and successful?  Let's start with guilt which we learned way back our childhood.  'EAT YOUR FOOD. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE STARVING' or 'I'VE BEEN WORKING MY FINGERS TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND ALL YOU IS COMPLAINT?!@#% As adults, we can internalize these messages and as a result, feel like we're never enough or can never do enough.

BTW, guilt is counter-productive.  That GUILT about not doing enough to help someone else when in fact you have already done a lot.  That GUILT about having more money or better relationships than friends.  That GUILT about thoughts that you DON'T actually act on, like feeling jealous of a friend who just had a baby.  Thinking about FAILURE is another unknown enemy.  Many of us have a sense of failure that colors our perception of ourselves and our achievements.  If you look at your life through the lens of failure, you will fail to pay attention to your achievements📗📘📙

Oh, are you a perfectionist?  That could be dangerous to your mind and body.  An article in the Review of General Psychology, it found that perfectionists are more likely to struggle with depression or anxiety and more likely to commit suicide.  Perfectionists are also more likely to be diagnosed with conditions such as chronic fatigue.  and can only like themselves if they do well.  But nobody can do well all the time.  So, it really pays to know What Wears You Down⏳⏳⏳

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'?

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'?

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'? Or were you ever aware in the past that you were about to go through a test, frankly to test your mettle?  Unfortunately, many of us tend to live life casually and passively to the extent that we are totally unaware of particular phases in our life where, not to our choice or liking, we are put to a test, either in school, at work, in our relationship with our partner/spouse or even for entrepreneurs, in the business forays you would get into.

BTW, to 'ACE THE TEST', that's not just happening in the academic space because it can happen any day anywhere.  And those TESTS will happen NOT just to test your skills or capability but it could be to TEST anything within you.  Could be your CHARACTER, your FAITH, your INTEGRITY, your LOYALTY, your PATIENCE, your PERSEVERANCE, your RESILIENCE or even your MENTAL HEALTH.  And the harsh reality in life is that we should and cannot FAIL any of all those tests.  We got to ACE THE TEST.

Regardless of the test you would face in life, never hesitate to ask this post-mortem question:  Did You 'ACE THE TEST'? And assuming you failed the most recent test, that's fine.  By being aware that you failed in the most recent test, that can WAKE YOU UP to shape up because you got to ACE THE TEST.

So how do you 'ACE THE TEST'? Simple.  PREP IT.  ACE IT.  Simply put, prepare for those tests to come and happen.  Not to be pessimistic and ending up haunting you, you need to be fully aware of the CHINKS in your armor because that should trigger you to correct those CHINKS in your armor and ensure you 'PLUG YOUR HOLES' up front.

At the end of the day, you DON'T need to be obsessed to 'ACE THE TEST'.  Just remain focused and steadfast with that singular objective on a consistent basis.  I'll assure you can ACE THE TEST❗❗❗

Deboning Problems

Deboning Problems

Deboning Problems is not far different when we're deboning fish to prepare for a fillet.  It is NEITHER rocket science NOR is it a simple equation like 1+1=2.  Without over-simplifying things, most problems are not complex enough to break us down to our soul and spirit.  Truth is, most problems are an offshoot of our day-to-day living.  And quite often, a minor snag may trigger something that leads to a result that farther leads to another complication that creates a new problem💊💊💊

Much identified closely to fish by affinity, problems are often rightfully resolved by Deboning Problems via the proven technique the old school refers to as FISH BONE ANALYSIS.  It  is a reverse approach to 'debug' a problem by starting to look at it from the surface and from the most obvious levels before you deep-dive on a per step basis📗📘📙

Truth is, most of our problems impact us mentally, psychologically, emotionally or a combination thereof.  Sometimes, it tends to torment us no end till we feel that things are spinning around, running in circles around us.  So, the nagging question is does it seem to appear that we humans seem to be swamped with enormous volumes of problems most of the time

It's because during those times of helplessness, we DON'T see, to have the tools + capability to deal with the problem itself.  Instead, we seem to run from end to end like a headless chicken nowhere to go.  So what's the first step towards fixing such a quandary?  First off,calm down and regain composure.  Many of us, in those moments of torment, we tend to lose reason and logic from within.  

 Instead, we should have nothing less than all these interrogatives.  HOW?  WHY?  WHO? These are an integral part of Deboning Problems 101 such that when you either overlook or miss out these basic interrogatives, you will end up seemingly helpless and on the precipice of giving up.  C'mon dude, life was NOT meant for us to give so soon, right❓❓❓