Crossing the Line

Crossing the Line

The demilitarized zone[DMZ] in the Korean Peninsula, that tenuous walls separating Israel from Palestine, those are the top powder kegs which may easily trigger even a third world war.  For the benefit of mankind, that dreaded third world war has not threaten to break out despite that very shaky truce between the Palestinians and Israel.  What could easily explain that success to date is because not one of the protagonists has attempted to be Crossing the Line.

Question is, should we be really Crossing the Line ?  No Senor, not under any circumstance at all.  Be it at work, in our relationships or even in business, there are invisible lines that cannot be crossed by any means.  But before we talk about proactive measures as regards Crossing the Line, let's rattle off outcomes and results that arose simply because at least one of the protagonists was Crossing the Line

Relationships got strained until bridges were burned.  Domestic households were in constant frictions.  And in the workplace, you would have witnessed an employee being sanctioned by HR or worst, an employee getting waylaid by the company and if it happens you are entrepreneur, imagine losing clients even as your business starts to bleed until it leads to the worst nightmare an entrepreneur will dread, and that's bankruptcy.  All these do happen because we're Crossing the Line

What are the ground rules then for us to be Crossing the Line ?  Not much really but enough to guide us though.  Have we wondered why different people react differently to the things you say or do ?  Maybe you told your parents a story that made them laugh but you found out later that that same story was upsetting when you shared it to your work colleagues.  Or maybe you posed a question to a couple of friends and one or two of them got offended ?  What could have caused some people to react differently compared to the rest ?

The solitary answer really has got something to do with "BOUNDARIES".  And if you are unabble to recognize the "BOUNDARIES" of a person, you can likely offend them and in the end, you'll be Crossing the Line.  Sometimes a person can tell you up front that you were Crossing the Line and at that point, you can immediately apologize. But what if you were unaware ?  This is were we need to expand, widen and deepen our perspective and understanding of everyone else, and that includes our family and even strangers.  Bottomline is let's avoid Crossing the Line 📌📌📌

Self-Inflicted Wounds as a PRIORITY

Self-Inflicted Wounds as a PRIORITY

This could be the most boring picture, a self-inflicted wound at that.  But do we really need to spend another 5 to 10 minutes for this seemingly mundane subject ?  Yesirrrrrrrrrrs because self-inflicted wounds have been a permanent fixture in our life but it's a fact that we could absolutely avoid because we don't need self-inflicted wounds in the first place.  Any fix that comes next becomes unnecessary if avoidance was given impetus in the first place, we don't even to peddle that Self-Inflicted Wounds are a PRIORITY.

Simply put, why do we need to  prioritize self-inflicted wounds ?  Simple.  We fix what we caused.  We clean up the mess we did.  And why do we need to prioritize?  Simple.  In the first place, that problem should not have been there in the first place, had it not been for us triggering it.

Oh well, prioritization means choosing what problems are NOT to be solved.  Pinpointing the most important problems to solve should always include all problems caused by those self-inflicted wounds.  That reduces the burden of prioritization because it won't be lumped with the rest of your problems.  And that will lead you to come up with fact-based decisions in fixing your problems.

What will guide us in fixing our problems.  It is our directions.  Because that will lead us to our priorities.  If your direction is to funnel your finances towards your business, those holidays and travels may be tagged with lower priorities.  But if your direction s to prioritize self-inflicted wounds, that becomes a no-brainer and no hard-sell should be needed, if at all.  But instead, go and proceed to prioritize fixing a self-inflicted wound because that's a non-issue.   

So how do we clean-up things ? First and foremost, DON'T suppress your emotions although we know that anxiety tends to ramp up when things get messy.  But be aware that shuttind down does NOT eliminate anxiety.  it just buries it. It will hum in the background.  When you address anxiety head-on, you are better equipped to begin working to fix your problem.  DON'T forget to have a TO DO-List and make sure your schedule suits you.  And DON'T forget to take one thing off your plate because you need to agree that you don't need to do all the tasks on your plate except to prioritize fixing a self-inflicted wound 📌📌📌

Our Landscape is in a Constant FLUX

Our Landscape is in a Constant FLUX

For the biggest chunk of our lifetime, at least speaking on behalf my generation and the generations following suit, we never experienced the agonies of going through the agonies of World War I or II.  Neither did the Korean War impacted us.  So, we should be pardoned if we thought that our landscape will continue to be that nice and dandy.  Then pandemic struck.  But even before pandemic struck us, our landscape has been in a CONSTANT FLUX.  Those in the academe were not guaranteed to get consistent high marks.  Relationships were not guaranteed to be in the 'honeymoon' phase forever.  The job market may have never dried up but people we know had become jobless at some points in the past.  Our finances were sometimes in the RED.  Our health would be failing from time to time.  And entrepreneurs in the U.S. are much familiar with Chapter 11 as that is the very framework of the U.S. bankruptcy law for businesses [Chapter 7 for individuals].

All these circumstances should push us to that realization that indeed, our landscape has been in a CONSTANT FLUX.  What else can we do?  A lot though.  As it is, life is all about good times, bad times and those in-between times when you aren't really sure which way it will go.  So how do we handle life. C'mon, let's accept that career FLUX, love FLUX, money FLUX, home FLUX, technology FLUX and even health FLUX   It all starts with our awareness.

Breaking news today.  Governments have all synched up and agreed that our world will be moving from PANDEMIC to ENDEMIC. In a nutshell, this is a clear-cut manifestation that indeed our landscape has been in a CONSTANT FLUX and the option left for us to recognize this latest realization even as its ramifications has impacted our global community.  

Indeed, there are a varieties of flux.  Yet it only takes two words to describe 'em all.  FLUX SUCKS [pardon me on this].  Thankfully, it also only takes two lenses to see your way clearly through flux, a long-term lens and a short-term lens.  Basically, if you're enduring an anxious trip into the 'LAND OF CHANGE & UNCERTAINTY', a bifocal lens will ensure you better enjoy.

A long-term lens will help you keep your eye on the prize of your ultimate goals of happiness and fulfillment while a short-term lens will help you keep your eyes on your feet so you DON'T GET TRIPPED up by fear. By seeing both points of focus, you will be able to navigate at your least clumsiest and wisest ever, making decisions even if you're aware that our our landscape has been in a CONSTANT FLUX ⏳⌛⏳

Until Smoke Comes Out From the Fire

Until Smoke Comes Out From the Fire

Fires happen all over the place.  That explains why fire detectors are in place.  That explains as well as to why we have fire marshals in office buildings.  But there's a gaping hole in our life though.  Neither do we have 'fire detectors' nor are we trained to be fire marshals.  And often, this causes us to panic, not realizing that the valid panic button happens not until smoke comes out from the fire.  Until then, we should be as cool as ever.

But this is easier said than done though.  Not until smoke comes out from the fire, in life, it means, a problem in life has not reached that 'crisis point' when the problem becomes almost unresolvable.  Akin to the Papal Conclave with the Catholic Cardinals would converge in the Vatican to elect a new Pope, the whole world reaches a state of stupor as all cameras are fixated on that chimney from the Sistine Chapel, where if smoke billows from it, it means there is a new Pope.

Yesirrrrr, life itself is akin to fire.  Heard of expressions like "WE'RE ON FIRE" ?  Exactly, as long as we're alive and kickin', indeed "WE'RE ON FIRE",  Things may seem to 'turn south' when things go from bad to worse, when a problem balloons from an irritant to a real fire, when one day you're in an argument at work and come next day, you're out of work, when one moment you're in a heated tiff with your partner and before you know it, your relationship seemed to have floundered.

In life, a lot of fires would have started with a friction, a spark until it flares up and out beyond control.  Then we reach that impasse when and where nothing literally would budge.  As problems from the past make us more resilient along the way, it's a lesson for us not to take things lackadaisically till a problem worsen to proportions that will entail double or more of your efforts.  At hindsight, had you moved to fix a problem much earlier, you need not be facing a monster by now.

And now comes this pandemic which has become the mother of all problems and practically hovering all over our global community.  As a layman, the least you can do is to handle fire WITH URGENCY before your back is pushed against the wall and you are left totally defenseless.  But who are we to blame when finally a smoke billows from that fire ❓❓❓

Morphing From Being Useful to NOT is Tough

Morphing From Being Useful to NOT is Tough

A lot of things in life do go through morphing and that is fine.  Example when a boy adores his father, eventually he could be morphing into his father.  What is regrettable is when we are morphing from being useful to NOT.  Then things become Tough when that evolves.

BTW, let's set aside morphing of physical attributes because that's not even a discussion point.  But instead, I'd like to tackle some 'horror stories' when someone is morphing from being useful to NOT.  Why ?  Because that points to us a lot of wastage.  Wastage talent and knowledge.  Wasted opportunity.  Wasted efforts even if it means non-efforts in the first place.  In a nutshell, just seeing  utter wastage is disheartening.  Imagine someone who's an expert in his craft but whose nowhere in his direction now.  A technical handyman who used to be a jack-of-all-trades but who is now idle.

Isn't it a wastage if in the past, you would always STAND OUT IN A CROWD, with your stakeholders plucking you out from the crowd but now, you're simply incognito?  How many opportunities will be missed out simply because you are there idle, passive and just oblivious of all the goings-on ?  And when those opportunities in life do slip past you, how can you recoup those missed opportunities ?

To quote Hillary Clinton, WOMEN ARE THE LARGEST UNTAPPED RESERVOIR OF TALENT.  Our dilemma is, things seem to be happening so fast, we got to catch up by morphing much faster.  As our global village itself is morphing faster than we expected, we need to keep pace with it, else we will end up IRRELEVANT.

Oh, those HELP WANTED tags are all over the place.  What needs to be tapped are our energy, our talent + our commitment.  It's all there for our picking.  You may be an IT SME, a medical front-liner, a finance specialist, a real estate agent.  Name it, all of those opportunities are for our picking.  It's a huge letdown though when we start morphing from being useful to NOT.  That's Tough 📌📌📌

Are You Just HUMMING ?

Are You Just HUMMING ?

How is it ?  How are you steering your life along the road?  Are You Just HUMMING?  Hmmmmm per se, there is nothing wrong with humming at all because in the first place, it manifests that you are aware of the goings-on and indeed you are trying to go along with it.  But what is quite disconcerting is if your humming has become your default such that most of the time, Are You Just HUMMING?

The analogy here is that in our life, when we Are You Just HUMMING, it's those moments of passiveness when you are exerting less efforts, burning less energy and that is perfectly fine more as an exception.  Example, after a whole day of work, you sit back, sip coffee and start to be HUMMING. Or you're a homemaker, after non-stop house chores, you take a  break and start to be HUMMING.  What is approaching alarm levels is if most of the time you're HUMMING.

With giraffes, they do spend a lot of their evenings HUMMING but that's them.  For us, HUMMING reflects passiveness and when you are in that passive state, if you're angling for something, your passive approach will take you longer, if at all, to achieve that goal.  Whereas, the active [or hyper-active] one should get things it done by a mile ahead of you.  If you're in a marathon, yes you might still reach the FINISH LINE but after everyone went home by then.

Indeed with technology today, you can just do the HUMMING and the apps will identify the song you're HUMMING but that's music.  In life, if you're a jobseeker and you're just waiting for job opportunities to knock on your door, so sorry Senor, it doesn't work out that way.  True, your bff will go all the way to your doorstep to bring the good tidings but that's a longshot to say the least.

Frankly, if you have been HUMMING most of the time, it's about time you take over your life in a much aggressive stance than ever.  You got to take matters in your own hands WITH CRITICAL URGENCY.  It is true that human nature dictates upon us to prioritize tasks which are urgent BUT how about the IMPORTANT ones ?  We just need to ACT AGAIN and aggressively act AS IF your back is against the wall ⌛⏳⌛

Don't Be Another Victim [via MODUS]

Don't Be Another Victim [via MODUS]

[p.s. credit to my banker, Citibank, for reposting the above snippet].

A hell lot of things did come and go.  Big names like Prince Philip and even Hollywood's Babyface died in 2021.  While other fortuitous event like this pandemic is still very much around our neck.  And besides this pandemic, there's one damn pesky irritant right behind our backs and it's becoming more than just an irritant because it does wreak havoc in us, sometimes impacting our finances but more often causing untold anxiety and stress.   Yesirrrrrr these are the digital scammers who are still very much around us.

BTW, who doesn't like freebies ?  I had the good fortune [many times in the past] for enjoying freebies.  That free business class upgrade [thank you Singapore Airlines], that full boxed suite of chocolates offered to me by the Flight Purse because my pre-ordered halal meal wasn't available [thank you to Cathay Pacific], that scrumptious Swensen's Ice Cream Cake [because what I bought simply melted out].  And just a lot more.  But thankfully, I didn't fall prey to digital scammers yet [not until recently when out of the blues when my card incurred a USD 1,300 transaction - but thanks to Citi, in less than a minute, that transaction was blocked].

Back to the most prevalent digital scams these days, we hope that by sharing the above snippets, you can even cascade these advisories to your families and friends.  

Let's admit it, these scammers lurking around seem smarter than most of us, let's admit that.  But the least we can is to be in-step with their sinister plan and it boils down to very basic ground rules:

SCAMMERS will pose as officers of your credit card company and the most popular trick to make you PANIC is to advise you that they have BLOCKED your credit card because it has been compromised !  

Then as you are gasping for oxygen, they will coax you NOT TO WORRY as long as you follow their next tricks, like sending you a link via email and KINDLY CLICK IT [DON'T !].  Then as they can smell you are falling prey, they will now be more explicit to instruct you to send them your CARD DETAILS for various farcical reasons they all concocted in an intricate manner.

Unfortunately, the final nail that may likely cause us to fall prey on these scams is our current habits of multi-tasking.  Don't get me wrong as I multi-task as often as well but when the sword of Damocles is hanging over our head, when our focus and attention gets thinly spread, before you know it, the scammer is right around your neck as you click the LINK they would send and even send them your card details, those one-time PINs.  Dude, to be forewarned is to be forearmed ❗❗❗

Until When Will We Get this SHOCK & AWE ?

Until When Will We Get this SHOCK & AWE ?

Who wants SHOCK & AWE happening over and over again ?  Indeed no one would welcome that but hey, do you agree that that SHOCK & AWE has been recurring over and over again throughout our lives ?  And can't we just agree that at least half of the time in our lives, we can find the answer to this daming question Until When Will We Get this SHOCK & AWE ?

Before figuring out how from our end we can avert or at the very least influence the factors that trigger SHOCK & AWE, it behooves for us to realize the ramifications when SHOCK & AWE does happen.  And the probabilities are mind boggling and scary.  We get rattled, pressured, demotivated, threatened and even losing our sense of control in our life.  Why ?

In short, how do we deal with surprises in life ?  Firstly, you need to accept the fact that SURPRISES HAPPEN.  Before moving on our discussion any farther, we need your buy-in no less.  The worst thing is when we refuse to accept that SURPRISES HAPPEN because by refusing to accept that reality, your first step becomes a serious misstep.

When SURPRISES HAPPEN, how do we typically react ?  Do we become stressed ?  Do we tend to panic ?  Flustered ?  Angry ?  Truth of the matter is there are people who find it difficult to cope not only with negative experiences but also with positive ones.  There are numerous simple situations in life when and where we even end up in SHOCK & AWE.  Remember that morning when you were about to prepare your morning coffee only to find out that you ran out of coffee ?  An exception as petty as that one can lead you to a SHOCK & AWE, unfortunately. 

So let's FAST-TALK.  How do we deal with SHOCK & AWE.  #1 - ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT [when you accept surprises in life, it will be easier to deal with it].  Always have that POSITIVE ATTITUDE because not all surprises end up negative as it could be a BLESSING IN DISGUISE as it awakens you, motivates you more than you were motivated then ✅✅✅

Why Life is an ONION

Why Life is an ONION

Why pick up the ONION as our discussion for today ?  You might be surprised if we claim that life is like peeling an onion.  Remember we peel it off one layer at a time and sometimes we even weep.  Oh, tension is just a staple of our regular everyday lives, whether we like it or not.  That frenetic pace th% at never slows down, distressing situations that tend to dampen our hopes and sometimes a chaotic home life that never gets back to its ideal state but simply worsens.

Tensions of life are multi-layered and an onion is an apt metaphor to describe the many dimensions of our everyday strains.  Each layer adds to the mystery and confusion which tension creates inside us.  If we can analyze what the layers of the tension are made of and what may have led to their growth, we have the chance of exploring things reflectively.  For instance, we may see that, like an onion, there is a circle, symmetry and consistency about how we manage our anxiety.  We may realize that the tensions of our life have substance but that they can be cut through.  So indeed, LIFE is like an ONION.

In short, it is all the tensions that seem to embroil us in this onion-like life which makes LIFE an ONION.  Embracing the truth about TENSION is a good first step.  Accepting the fact that tension is your response to external stimuli [and not the stimuli themselves] is already half battle won toward diffusing it.  Studies even show that roughly 70% of individuals have consistent tension to some extent.  This isn't because there is a life-threatening danger or that uncertain times we are going on.  This is merely because these people would not relinquish the past.

Now, to get to the ROOT CAUSE, we got to understand STRESS itself.  Sometimes it is easy for us to know we're stressed but other times we may not even know that we're stressed.  This is because STRESS can manifest in different ways, often affecting us both physically and emotionally.  To help identify whether or not you are in tension, be on the look out for the most obvious symptoms like a sense of being overwhelmed, difficulty in sleeping, loss of appetite, negative thoughts, feeling tearful and so on.

POSITIVE SELF-TALK, try this out.  Instead of saying I CAN'T DO THIS, why can't we say it I'LL DO ALL I CAN.  Instead of I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS, how about I KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THIS. There will be a huge difference if we carry on life either negatively or positively.  As an icing on the cake, it will help if you surround yourself with POSITIVE PEOPLE and go to them when you need to.  Invest time connecting with your LOVED ONES.  The key is to find your groove ✅✅✅

The MAIN THING is to Keep the MAIN THING the MAIN THING

The MAIN THING is to Keep the MAIN THING the MAIN THING

This may be a topic discussed a zlllion times but this just deserves to be discoursed over and over again because in our life, the MAIN THING is to Keep the MAIN THING the MAIN THING.  You go off-track and offline, you will lose grip of the top of the topmost things that need your utter focus.  End result ?  You will fail to achieve your target, your goal.  You will fall short of what you zeroed-in to achieve.  BTW, this seemingly redundant and verbose statement is widely quoted from Stephen Covey, the respected American who authored 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE. 

This poster may be an exaggeration but says it all in one shot.  That is, if you need to do something because that's the most important task to perform at that point in time, keep your sharp and consistent focus.  Taking a leaf from Stephen Covey, he rattles off the 7 HABITS of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE and topping that list is to BE PROACTIVE.  And that couldn't be farther from my mantra.

Being PROACTIVE tops because of its one too many obvious benefits.  It let's you avoid that potential CHAOS if things go off track.  You SAVE TIME, MONEY and even EFFORTS as opposed when you end up as REACTIVE.  By being proactive, it gives you that elbow room for flexibility [as against if you are catching up].  And with a proactive approach, it allows you to better plan for the future.

No pun intended but to quote Stephen Covey, the key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but instead, to schedule your priorities.  I'll let out the cat out of the bag. What is that single mistake which we [yes that includes myself] have been committing over and over again until this very day ?  It is our human tendency to spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.

Oh I love this cute poster likening life to the camera.  Indeed, LIFE IS LIKE A CAMERA.  FOCUS ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT AND YOU'LL CAPTURE IT PERFECTLY.  Problem is, we are so vulerable.  We easily get distratec and disrupted.  If we're watching a movie in the film room, when someone steps in or out, many of us tend to look over that seemingly minor commotion.  The key here is FOCUS because once we compromise our FOCUS on the important things in life, before you know, it's GAME OVER for you, dude ❗❗❗